Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

[wesoda25]

Bottom post of the previous page:

>Hercules the clown
>Swear fealty to captain and pledge my sword (baguette) and shield to them
>Rise as a knight, sworn to protect the station
>Pray to the gods for strength and receive it
>Do knight shit for a while, deliver the fair maiden pun-pun to her home, etc
>Notice that there are a shit ton of bananas all over the halls, decide to look into it
>Security thinks its me and want me on a meathook
>Head to robotics to inquire about bananium, nothing
>See curator come in from space, ask them, they show me bananium
>Try and share my lead, an officer tries to arrest me, a brave MD comes to my rescue
>Officer ends up taking MD to brig, I try and save them
>Officer says fuck it and starts lethaling me
>Captain comes to my defense and lethals the officer in return
>Other officers arrest captain, captain calls for help
>I try and help, cap almost escapes, I end up cuffed in sec office
>Captain is now screaming for the crew to kill security
>Absolute chaos in brig
>Cap ends up in perma, ive almost uncuffed myself
>CMO suddenly attacks HOS, I'm the only one around
>Come to HOS' defense at the last second and help subdue the CMO
>Shuttle arrives, healing HOS who has been drugged with morphine
>Don't make it in time, bring HOS to teleporter
>A DRAGON appears
>Beelines for HOS, I attack them with my blade and try and distract them
>Dragon ends up killing me, HOS soon after, round ends
>Round end delayed for 5 minutes

Can you even call it a good clown round if you didn't trigger a civil war and the complete loss of order?

[Pandarsenic]

[nianjiilical]

-be clown
-pick up a pie at the start of the round for customary self defense
-40 mins later
-rampaging antag killing half the crew, run into him at evac
-as he chases down the chaplain, hit him with a pie in the airlocks leading to space
-drop peel so he slips
-some absolute madlad runs up with a fucking supermatter shard crate
-opens it on top of me
-the antag walks into the supermatter shard
-he smoothly closes it
-centcom sends us both trophies

[Omega_DarkPotato]

Ewe Kant, Medical Doctor
Ewe Kant, traitor.
Objectives: Kill chaplain, Get mols of plasma.

Radlaser, cash, get ampu shears with cash.
Walk to chapel, observe chaplain fucking with his altar, tell him he has appendicitis after giving him the good ol radlaser
Decapitate him in the corner of medical and bodybag his corpse.
Encounter acting cap (RD) ask for CMO as I am the only MD on this lowpoop shift
get CMO access, add toxins to myself
toxins for some reason refuses to work, hack in, put plasma into an oxygen tank hidden in my backpack so they won't think I'm a fucking traitor

Halfway through shift getting bored watching all comms go by with my encryption key
Sec trying to investigate the dead chaplain
ends up with a det coming into my office (as cmo) asking me where I picked up the chaplain (an unfortunate roundstart suicide)
they rule it as a suicide, det unfortunately ends up headless in medbay (what a shame) (nobody cared) (he wasn't killed by me surprisingly but it ended up being helpful)

commit to getting an emag instead of deciding to go the "bomb shuttle" route, emag comms console, send message to Operative Command asking for nuke codes since I could easily grab diskie
they tell me to just grab diskie but they can't gimme the codes

I kill captain after telling him he has appendicitis (this is way too easy) (he was decapitated at the bottom of medbay, with a full med treatment center on delta)
I stuff his body in a morgue, and his head in a personal locker in the afk medbay zone (nobody checks em)

I tell OPCOM, they tell me to go get an unused rainbow slime extract
I walk into xenobio and take it and thank the xenobiologist who says you're welcome in return (he's very nice)

I tell OPCOM, they tell me to go kill waldo
I announce to the crew that waldo is wanted for tax evasion and genocide, we kill waldo with his own bat

INTERPOL arrives searching for waldo's corpse which has already been sent back to syndicate command
They start arresting security because security attempted to stop them from being shitsec 2

HOP discovers me messaging syndicate command through the emag console noise but I amazingly somehow convince him otherwise by lying through my teeth like a badass

Shuttle is eventually called because INTERPOL and sec are fighting and we also have pirates bombing brig

I ask for the nuke codes after the shuttle hits the half-way point
they give me the nuke codes
I nuke the station

Ewe Kant Loves You!

[cacogen]

>be janitor
>never earned the legendary janitor cape before
>lowpop manuel tramstation round
>not much blood on the station
>get to work mopping maintenance
>not a lot of tiles in tram maintenance and the other janitor is using the floor buffer which cleans quickly
>after about 20 minutes finally get enough XP to order the cape
>want to find somebody to order it in front of
>cannot find anyone anywhere
>eventually find a lizard in medbay foyer
>tell the lizard to behold, medbay slave
>the lizard plays along, waiting expectantly
>i order the cape
>this delivery pod thing takes far longer than the ones used by the beacons people start with
>stand under it to tempt fate as i assume it's harmless like the ones from those beacons
>expect to see it coming in from the top so i can just move aside anyway
>after a long delay, appears immediately out of nowhere
>instantly gibs me
>brain, tongue and some other bodyparts are thrown into the nearby disposal bin by the force
>brain goes through disposals to the delivery room in cargo
>the conveyor belt is on, brain goes past the quartermaster who happens to be in the delivery room and gets flushed again
>goes to disposals, which also has the belt on
>gets flushed again and flung into space
>hits the window of a ship where the hop's body and other trash is floating
>ghost and move back to medbay foyer
>see other janitor appear and clean up my blood and viscera with the floor buffer
>the pod leaves with my cape
>brain is never found

[Rohen_Tahir]

>be me
>go sec because there is only one officer
>Metastation
>go to brig
>repair armsky on the way to the brig, expending baton
>no gear left
>have no baton
>help a janitor smash open the contraband locker
>it's just one makarov
>he takes it
>search for weapons
>find flashbang and a bunch of tear gas grenades
>find out on radio it's nukies
>do a lot of irrelevant walking around and bypassing plasmafires through the disposals system
>be in cargo autolathe room
>there is one other person in the room and one more in the hallway
>spot nukie in HoP office
>try to shoot him with disabler
>fail
>activate flashbang and run up to him through a burning hallway with said flashbang in backpack
>the two people from earlier run up to him and do... stuff, whatever it was it wasn't very effective
>nukie moves away too fast
>flashbang doesn't do shit (according to logs, it was actually a barier grenade)
>nukie is killing us with esword and lasers
>It is obvious that we lost
>knocked down and almost in crit
>activate one of the grenades in my backpack
>remember they're all teargas
>
>HE PLACES THE ESWORD ON THE TABLE
>Knocked down and looking a lot like a corpse, take it
>hit him with his own esword unthil horizontal
>Tear gas grenade goes off as I'm doing it
>He dies and explodes
>Whisper "FOR CHRISTMAS!" to succumb
>The dude from autolathe room survives

[Anuv]

I rolled psychologist and got a P.R.O.V.E.
Decided I'd take a picture of a fake cult scene and send it to the crew to stir some shit.
Got a crayon for a rune, a monkey to sacrifice, other stuff.
Stopped by the bar to give Orion Trail a few futile attempts for a toy cult knife.
First game, first victory, I got it.
I know it's not one in a million but it sure felt like it.

[PKPenguin321]

I can't believe that there have been zero (0) awesome stories on /tg/station in exactly 1 year and 2 days. How sad!

[PKPenguin321]

>be me
>assistant.
>non-antag
>hatch a plan to become Chainsaw Man
>Ask AI to open EVA and it does it
>grab dat plasteel
>break into cargo and print a circular saw
>prime tool storage, get a welding tool and cable coils
>go to medbay to get surgery
>craft that shit on the surgery table
>have the surgery
>*infernal chainsaw noises
>suddenly shadowlings
>hear screaming of shadowlings in arrivals
>Chainsaw Man gives no fucks
>run to arrivals maint with an assload of lights on
>corner a sling in the bend between detectives office and the brig hallway
>he glares and nearly dies from my lights alone
>I get unstunned and destroy him with my chainsaw arm
>he gets gibbed
>all the slings later die and we evac


FURTHER ADVENTURES OF CHAINSAW MAN

>be me
>be metastation
>see syndicate bomb getting defused above bridge
>want to do Chainsaw Man again
>go to the goody hut above cargo
>my eyes glaze over
>there's slings wtf
>Xhuis antag traded to be a sling
>decon one of the rwalls back there not leading to space for the chainsaw
>greys-her-tide and I get thralled, we want to give Xhuis sling a chainsaw augmentation
>he has chitin carapace on so we can't make a sling with a chainsaw arm
>fug
>we get the QM before he can yell
>thralling thralling thralling
>eventually we have a shitload of thralls, the hallways are filled with N20, and there are dead and suffocating people everywhere from traitors
>I find a safe spot in maint and start giving CPR to the people in crit from oxyloss from N20
>cuff them all and thrall them
>suddenly NWANWALKDASDFLKAEL;SKAJDF
>ascension
>Xhuis thralls all the ERT, death squids, and crewmembers as we escape on the shuttle
>greentext
>tfw you were never able to be chainsaw man
>was still a great round

As it turns out, slings are pretty strong when the station is utterly fucked.

Tatsuki Fujimoto owes this post royalties

[Capsandi]

>roll traitor, metastation
>well its been 4ever since a good plasmaflood
>break into atmos
>yoink RPD and conspicuously replace some manual valves with digital ones
>move to toxins
>pump canisters into distro after doing the funny distro-scrubber link up
>start cutting air alarm wires to cause siphons
>AI gets blamed for flood and siphons, feels good
>atmos tech arrives, starts raging that they need to do their job.
>AI gets decommissioned by a chemist's emp barrage
>detective starts doing his job, finds out I was in toxins
>finds my prints on the cans
>curtain is closing fast
>grab a suit and spacewalk to atmos
>atmos tech is trying to suit up
>fail to magdump him
>get chopped into pieces
>space self as last resort
>someone pulls me into a burning departure lounge
>oh fuck its a ling
>detective magdumps the ling while I am barely alive, dumbass ling is on fire so it runs away
>my ID is gone and I've still got a helmet on, detective epi's me
>Run back into space before he finds out
>Decide to break into xenobio and flood the now called shuttle with BZ, just in case(bz uses up ling chemicals)
>Ling kills detective in escape, I try to be less dying as I steal the BZ can
>Shuttle arrives and the ling kills the atmos tech with the detective's equipment as I push the BZ can in and crack it open
>Ling and chemist start fighting, I lay low, until the ling realizes that purging the chemist's death needles somehow drained all of it's chemicals
> I kill the ling with the chemist

Chemist got day banned for killing the ai btw

[norsvenska]

> tram
> join late as paramedic
> head to medical, gear up
> walking across the catwalk towards sci
> flash materializes in my satchel
> provocateur
> turn around, head back to medical
> only three heads: captain, hos, hop
> slowly but surely flash all medical staff and some patients
> coroner has magic powers
> tried to flash coroner, failed
> game turns into slideshow
> ohfuck.jpg
> run circles around medical being chased by the coroner
> saved by the chemist who also had a flash for whatever reason
> cmo arrives
> walks into medical
> "hey guys"
> beaten to death immediately
> pirates arrive
> captain screams for help over radio
> round ends
> ooc and deadchat go crazy
> only one head died at our hands
the silent revolution