Stories of rage, tears and regret

[bman]

Bottom post of the previous page:

4 Greys

There was a dead burned husk.

And I was returning with damage from a drake.

well thats if u count the lawyer but you tore their asshole apart almost immediately

regardless it was funny so who cares

[IcePacks]

>you are the trialmin
>wizard round
>fail to log out in time
>okay well while i wait for the mass of ahelps i'll just badmin on centcomm and figure that stuff out
>sudden strike of inspirtation
>i will assemble an employee termination machine
>conveyor belt-feld gibber
>how the fuck do i get conveyor belts to even work in the first place are you fucking kidding me ri-
>go on adminbus
>yo can someone give me a hand with conveyors
>cobby gives me a hand with conveyors
>round rages on in the meantime, summon events
>build conveyor leading from shuttle into narrow slaughter pen with emagged recycler and cremator, crushes the terminated crewmen and deposits them on the gibber
>shuttle gets called
>oh boy here we go
>it's happening
>i can't wait
>cobby installs a bunch of disabler emitters for balanced chainstuns
>wait ten breathtaking minutes while the ghosts marvel at our spicy memes
>shuttle launches
>oh shit it's happening
>create command report informing the crew that they're fired because accounts payable can't figure out who is who anymore
>ROUND ENDS
>what
>what the FUCK
>all antags died
>ALL ANTAGS DIED WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS SUMMON EVENTS ARE YOU FU-
>round gets delayed
>shuttle gets insta-launched
>lone hijacker eagerly runs off the shuttle
>through the conveyor
>into the termination device

[MimicFaux]

A story not of myself, but one that we've all shared at one point.
[youtube]LtPdqSuEWyE[/youtube]

[PKPenguin321]

>oh boy there are other admins on I can play
>roll engineer, haven't played them from roundstart since SM was added
>seems pretty intuitive I can figure this out
>set up cooling loops, rad collectors, max pumps, turn on siphoning vents, the works
>looks good to me!
>it is not good
>turn on emitters
>lightning instantly vaporizes my coworker
>scream at AI to turn off emitters while I grab my dead pal and run for my life
>dead pal is so dead he can't be defibbed
>walk of shame back to engineering
>engineering fucking exploded
>by methods unknown to me or anybody else i managed to accidentally detonate the SM like 3 minutes in
>regretfully walk around repairing things and restoring power to critical areas with manual cell transplants
>computers power supply shuts off so i can't even repent in full or finish the round

How the HECK did it even explode that fast there were like no delamination warnings, I thought SM was designed to not get messed up in 5 minutes or whatever

[XDTM]

Dear god i couldn't delaminate it by intentionally sabotaging it for 40 minutes with no witnesses and you just do it by mistake what

[Dr_bee]

Dear god i couldn't delaminate it by intentionally sabotaging it for 40 minutes with no witnesses and you just do it by mistake what

One of my favorite SM stories is where due to a power failure random event the gas in the chamber became too high. after 20 minutes of fighting the supermatter I decided to say "fuck it" and decon the floors with an RCD to vent the gas.

As it turns out, the space tiles are treated as no gas instead of venting gas, so it didnt actually stop the delamination, but it did somehow stop it from exploding. Another engineer decided to attempt to reset the SM so we could set it up properly this time only to have the supermatter instantly hit over 2000% instability the moment the last floor tile was placed.

Somehow we found a way to make the supermatter deadlier in our effort to fix it.

[Durkel]

snip

The awful awkward moment when you've got to pm a headmin on why he blew up the sm shard as non antag and he logs off on you.

Wew.

[MrAlphonzo]

This is an oldie, little more than a half a year ago when I started playing on Basil, back when it didn't have twenty minute rounds.

Enjoying myself in xenobio, didn't get murderboned for once. Manage to make myself into a changeling.
Since I don't want security frying my ass, and there's basically nothing left to do in sci, I go apply for job in security.
While I'm standing in the brig, waiting, I'm cuffed and dragged into the interrogation room. Not really sure why.
The HoS is in there, I inform him that I made myself into a changeling via xenobiology and would like to join security.
He declines.
I get bored, and I'm kept in the interrogation room for no apparent reason, so I melt my cuffs off and laugh at the HoS for being so paranoid.
The HoS was Edward Sloan.

That was my first mistake.

Obviously livid, he is hesitant to toss me out of the brig and not toss me into the gibber.

I wander around the station looking for valids to hunt, regardless of having a redshirt on. I don't find anyone.

Shuttle is called for reasons I can't remember, I head to escape. I think the engine was released.
A security officer is being murdered by a traitor botanist, and seeing as how I had already informed security of my changeling status, I go ahead and whack the botanist with my armblade.
The sec officer thanks me, goes to medbay, and I finish off the botanist.

There was a small problem, though.

I'm not sure if the detective was retarded or just hungry for valids, but she unloaded all of her .38 shells into me.
The HoS, tuning out my claims of saving a security officer's life, and my claim that the botanist was a traitor, crits me and throws me into the cremator.

This was my first time getting my shit kicked in by Edward Sloan, and it will not be the last.

I was playing on Delta, back when it was just added. Minding my own business in the maint arcade, when a security officer shows up.
He starts to cuff me for no reason while saying "Henk" and "Kek", I guess he thought it was funny to push around assistants.
I trip him and cuff him, tie him to a chair.
"Henk"
I let him go after I win a round of Orion, but, we both laugh it off.
Small problem.
The HoS was none other than Edward Sloan.
And the officer I had cuffed had screamed for help.

Now, as Sloan does, he does not give two shits and a half about me letting his sec officer go, or the fact that his officer was being shitcurity himself.

So, what does an assistant get after a harmless prank?
Perma.
You know who else was in perma?
A traitor.
Cy Wolfe, I believe.
I tell him the tale of Rex Salazar's demise.
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's why you're in here? I'm a traitor. I killed people. All you did was handcuff a faggot." He said something along those lines.
Eventually, Cy Wolfe makes repeated attempts at escaping from perma with assistance from the AI.
Not sure if the AI was trying to make him look bad so the HoS would put him down, or they had struck a deal.

Soon after Cy's execution, the warden had popped in and asked why I was in there.
I shared my tale, and he snuck me out.
I don't remember your name, but bless your soul whoever you are.
I remained as an unknown, without many belongings, just wandering the station until the shuttle was called.

I cannot recall any other stories of Sloan tossing my body in the dumpster, but I know that those were not the only two times. Perhaps I'll have flashbacks the next time I kill myself in the armory.

[Cuboos]

>Be ling
>Doing well
>got my six genomes
>Assassinated the RD without being caught
>Got the Hand teleporter
>Holy shit, am i finally going to greentext as a ling?
>Fuck around for a bit, keeping a low profile
>No one suspects me of anything
>Security doesn't even search me when random searches are allowed
>Is this it? Is this finally it?
> I'm going to greentext as a ling... it's finally going to happen
> Shuttled gets called
>OH BOY GREENTEXT HERE I COME
> shuttle arrives
> Some assistants are beating the shit out of a scientist
> beat the assistants off and they scatter
> Help the scientist up and he and i run into the shuttle
> shuttle launches
> Buckle myself in feeling all confident and proud
> It's actually going to happen this time, i'm actually going to get greentext as a ling
> Scientist i rescued walks out from shuttle cock pit
> Activates double E-sword and singles me out
> it's a crowded shuttle, there's plenty of other people to target
> why...
> i helped you...
> why me specifically?
> i die
> shuttle docks
>red text...
> i wasn't his target

I fucking help that scientist escape a mob beating from a bunch of assistants and he decides to kill me from it... Changeling is cursed for me but i can't seem to bring myself to remove it from my preferences...

[DemonFiren]

given that what that scientist did was legitimate by our antag rules
and not dickish enough for rule 1 (though definitely poor sportsmanship, somebody edit rule 1 already)
i believe finding the player and fucking murdering him with a nail clipper is the correct response

[Cuboos]

Another ling round... i can write a fucking novel with my fucking failed ling attempts...

> be ling
> It's MetaStation
> leastItIsn'tCere.jpg
> get genomes
> kill chaplain
> escape alive
> Get my genomes up, easiest objective
> pal around with some other lings
> Cause some mild ruckus
> people know there are lings because of our shenanigans
> No one knows who the changelings are though so we're safe - for now
> Doing well
> you know what thread this is you know what's going to happen
>Spot chap in the bar
>no one is around
>time to strike
>grab a drink next to the chaplain
>trying to act all nonchalant
>bout to stealth mute him
>Suddenly chappy yells "SMOKE SCREEN!"
>Whole fucking room is filled with smoke
>What the fuck?
>Where is he?
>smoke clears
>HE'S FUCKING GONE
>HOLY SHIT
> WHERE IS HE?
>wonder through station
>can't find him
>wonder through maint
>still can't find him
>shuttle is called
>shit shit shit shit
>Search chapel
>he's not there
>how the fuck
>shuttle arrives
>god damn it
>Chaplain gets on the very last second
>debate trying to throw him out during transit
>fuck it, it's all or nothing
>SMOKE SCREEN!
>FUCKING AGAIN?
>CAN'T SEE SHIT
>WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?
>Shuttle docks
>Redtext


WHY DOES HE GET THAT FUCKING SPELL? META SUCKS NOW!

[DemonFiren]

He always had that spell on meta.
The solution is to git gud :^)

[lumipharon]

>Be Nanotrasen agent dude
>also HoP
>Haven't played for ages so I have no idea what this antag is but looks cool
>specifically told by text murderbone isn't ok.
>neat
>Do normal HoP things for 15 minutes so there isn't an army of dudes bitching about the absent HoP
>Be polite and helpful, give everyone the access changes they ask for
>decide to spawn a syndie crate or something for FUN
>take literally one step out of HoP office
>first guy I helped ID change appears out of no where and sleeping carp dick punches me or something
>drags me towards arrivals
>screaming for help over comms
>no one responds
>eventually die and get stuffed in an airlock with a massive trail of blood to me
>dude who kills me immediately goes and hides in a locker, presumably for the rest of the round

P-Pls.

[BeeSting12]

This is an oldie, little more than a half a year ago when I started playing on Basil, back when it didn't have twenty minute rounds.

Enjoying myself in xenobio, didn't get murderboned for once. Manage to make myself into a changeling.
Since I don't want security frying my ass, and there's basically nothing left to do in sci, I go apply for job in security.
While I'm standing in the brig, waiting, I'm cuffed and dragged into the interrogation room. Not really sure why.
The HoS is in there, I inform him that I made myself into a changeling via xenobiology and would like to join security.
He declines.
I get bored, and I'm kept in the interrogation room for no apparent reason, so I melt my cuffs off and laugh at the HoS for being so paranoid.
The HoS was Edward Sloan.

That was my first mistake.

Obviously livid, he is hesitant to toss me out of the brig and not toss me into the gibber.

I wander around the station looking for valids to hunt, regardless of having a redshirt on. I don't find anyone.

Shuttle is called for reasons I can't remember, I head to escape. I think the engine was released.
A security officer is being murdered by a traitor botanist, and seeing as how I had already informed security of my changeling status, I go ahead and whack the botanist with my armblade.
The sec officer thanks me, goes to medbay, and I finish off the botanist.

There was a small problem, though.

I'm not sure if the detective was retarded or just hungry for valids, but she unloaded all of her .38 shells into me.
The HoS, tuning out my claims of saving a security officer's life, and my claim that the botanist was a traitor, crits me and throws me into the cremator.

This was my first time getting my shit kicked in by Edward Sloan, and it will not be the last.

I was playing on Delta, back when it was just added. Minding my own business in the maint arcade, when a security officer shows up.
He starts to cuff me for no reason while saying "Henk" and "Kek", I guess he thought it was funny to push around assistants.
I trip him and cuff him, tie him to a chair.
"Henk"
I let him go after I win a round of Orion, but, we both laugh it off.
Small problem.
The HoS was none other than Edward Sloan.
And the officer I had cuffed had screamed for help.

Now, as Sloan does, he does not give two shits and a half about me letting his sec officer go, or the fact that his officer was being shitcurity himself.

So, what does an assistant get after a harmless prank?
Perma.
You know who else was in perma?
A traitor.
Cy Wolfe, I believe.
I tell him the tale of Rex Salazar's demise.
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's why you're in here? I'm a traitor. I killed people. All you did was handcuff a faggot." He said something along those lines.
Eventually, Cy Wolfe makes repeated attempts at escaping from perma with assistance from the AI.
Not sure if the AI was trying to make him look bad so the HoS would put him down, or they had struck a deal.

Soon after Cy's execution, the warden had popped in and asked why I was in there.
I shared my tale, and he snuck me out.
I don't remember your name, but bless your soul whoever you are.
I remained as an unknown, without many belongings, just wandering the station until the shuttle was called.

I cannot recall any other stories of Sloan tossing my body in the dumpster, but I know that those were not the only two times. Perhaps I'll have flashbacks the next time I kill myself in the armory.

First One: Detective tells me you're shitting things up with an armblade, heard no reports from the officer, I cremate you.
Second: You kidnapped the officer. I permaed you for kidnapping the officer, assaulting the officer, and resisting arrest. Sounds like my punishment was rather effective as you didn't do anymore greytide shit like kidnapping after the warden sneaked you out.

[Armhulen]

>Be Nanotrasen agent dude
>also HoP
>Haven't played for ages so I have no idea what this antag is but looks cool
>specifically told by text murderbone isn't ok.
>neat
>Do normal HoP things for 15 minutes so there isn't an army of dudes bitching about the absent HoP
>Be polite and helpful, give everyone the access changes they ask for
>decide to spawn a syndie crate or something for FUN
>take literally one step out of HoP office
>first guy I helped ID change appears out of no where and sleeping carp dick punches me or something
>drags me towards arrivals
>screaming for help over comms
>no one responds
>eventually die and get stuffed in an airlock with a massive trail of blood to me
>dude who kills me immediately goes and hides in a locker, presumably for the rest of the round

P-Pls.

>Be Nanotrasen agent dude
>also Ligger
>I have no idea what this antag is but looks cool
>specifically told by text murderbone isn't ok.
>sure
>Do normal ligger things for 15 minutes and hover around target
>Scream in ligger
>buy carp
>see target leaving office
>slam chop slam chop
>drag target towards arrivals
>he screams for help over comms
>no one responds
>eventually they die and get stuffed in an airlock with a massive trail of blood to them
>DON'T MENTION THIS PART OF THE STORY.

[MrAlphonzo]

*snip*

First One: Detective tells me you're shitting things up with an armblade, heard no reports from the officer, I cremate you.
Second: You kidnapped the officer. I permaed you for kidnapping the officer, assaulting the officer, and resisting arrest. Sounds like my punishment was rather effective as you didn't do anymore minor IC crime shit like kidnapping after the warden sneaked you out.

[Snarky comeback and contradictions removed to prevent autistic screeching contest.]

[bman]

story.

First One: Detective tells me you're shitting things up with an armblade, heard no reports from the officer, I cremate you.
Second: You kidnapped the officer. I permaed you for kidnapping the officer, assaulting the officer, and resisting arrest. Sounds like my punishment was rather effective as you didn't do anymore greytide shit like kidnapping after the warden sneaked you out.

>officer is being shit in the first place
>gets comeback

>bucklecuffed

>YOU KIDNAPPED HIM, YOU ASSAULTED HIM!!!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD'VE JUST STOOD THERE AND LET HIM SHITCURITY YOU SCREEEEEEEEE!!1!1111

edit: also second story.

>listening to the detective

>ever

[BeeSting12]

story.

First One: Detective tells me you're shitting things up with an armblade, heard no reports from the officer, I cremate you.
Second: You kidnapped the officer. I permaed you for kidnapping the officer, assaulting the officer, and resisting arrest. Sounds like my punishment was rather effective as you didn't do anymore minor IC crime shit like kidnapping after the warden sneaked you out.

>officer is being shit in the first place
>gets comeback

>bucklecuffed

>YOU KIDNAPPED HIM, YOU ASSAULTED HIM!!!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD'VE JUST STOOD THERE AND LET HIM SHITCURITY YOU SCREEEEEEEEE!!1!1111

edit: also second story.

>listening to the detective

>ever

hmmmmmmmm listen to the mindshield implanted person or the assistant who's confessed to being a changeling. also all i was aware of was the fact that the officer was kidnapped by the assistant and the assistant's reasoning was "he was being shitcurity". haha if i let every assistant who said that roam the halls, i'd be slipped and my gear stolen for wearing the red jumpsuit.

*snip*

First One: Detective tells me you're shitting things up with an armblade, heard no reports from the officer, I cremate you.
Second: You kidnapped the officer. I permaed you for kidnapping the officer, assaulting the officer, and resisting arrest. Sounds like my punishment was rather effective as you didn't do anymore minor IC crime shit like kidnapping after the warden sneaked you out.

[Snarky comeback and contradictions removed to prevent autistic screeching contest.]

noone can autistically screech louder than me

[D&B]

Just challenge Sloan to a naked holodeck fistfight to death and he'll leave you alone :^)

[BeeSting12]

Just challenge Sloan to a naked holodeck fistfight to death and he'll leave you alone :^)

SHUT UP

[Armhulen]

>xeno queen
>basically rule the whole station now
>awyisss
>one annoying jerkbag with a flightsuit in space but whatever
>shuttle arrives
>drone drags freon onboard
>duh drone
>>drone pls
>>>DRONE NO
>oh wait freon does not hurt us hahahaha
>kill drone
>he comes back
>welding fuel DOES HURT US AW SHIT
>between guy in space blasting xenos with his 50 laser guns and drone repeatedly welderbombing and respawning
>oh god why
>finally drone runs out of shells, 10 secs till take off
>still 10
>???????
>10???
>time isn't going down
>larva looks confused next to me
>"What the fuk"
>no words come out
>can't open doors
>or do anything
>freon hypercrashed the serber

[D&B]

did you at least ahelp that drone shitter

[Armhulen]

did you at least ahelp that drone imperfect person playing an imperfect game

hahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahha

Spoiler:

NSFW:

no admins on

[Armhulen]

i reloaded and it got 10 times worse, by the way
pictures later of the gigacrash

[PKPenguin321]

did you at least ahelp that drone imperfect person playing an imperfect game

hahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahha

Spoiler:

NSFW:

no admins on

adminhelp it anyways idiot there are always about 10 admins idling adminbus

[Armhulen]

did you at least ahelp that drone imperfect person playing an imperfect game

hahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahha

Spoiler:

NSFW:

no admins on

adminhelp it anyways idiot there are always about 10 admins idling adminbus

it's okay i'll parse logs for it


justiceeeeeeeeeee will be doooooooooone

[Armhulen]

http://imgur.com/a/rpyOb
this is another reason i did not adminhelp

[D&B]

That burnt the fuck out of my eyes but it looks cool as fuck

[Kjolstet]

spawn as detective
round goes pretty decently, catch a couple traitors, shoot some dipshits, make some enemies
in cargo investigating syndie crates and a supposed traitor, and also for more bullets
ripley corners me as im looking at my other screen
squeezes me to near death
well ok, i guess i found the traitor?
call over sec, warden grabs ion gun and comes to fuck up the mech
die
person in ripley puts me in a crate and picks me up
brings me to medbay
warden stares at the mech like they've never seen one before, ion rifle in hand
just watches the person take me out of the crate
and.. they clone me?

warden does absolutely nothing and walks away
finished cloning
ripley person didnt even steal anything. my body is completely untouched
round ends
they werent even traitor
really makes you think

[lumipharon]

I was the warden. What was the point in blowing up a ripley when he was getting you cloned anyway?
You fucked off A LOT of people that round, I wasn't about to cop the shit for validing that dude and his mech when you'd been det revolvering so many people.
The time for valids is like that shitty mime and clown that round.

Also why is there a temp gun in the armoury now, and why is it on top of the ion rifle?

[cedarbridge]

>Chemist traitor on super lowpop
>hijack the shuttle, asshole
>do my job, load up chem fridge, blah blah
>a bunch of guys fuck off to mining, never return
>RD shows up and makes me CMO, neat
>make a hellfoam grenade and buy a satchel, hide it in the escape wing
>grab a signaler to set off the grenade when the time is right
>power starts failing and its lowpop so easy enough excuse for a shuttle call because screw waiting for cells to charge that late in
>shuttle hits the point of no return so I toss on the suit
>waiting for the shuttle, random greyshirt attacks me with a crowbar for some reason, eats a zombiepowder hypo to the face and visits space forever
>seconds before shuttle docks, get in position as the only guy in the escape wing, pull out the signaler and press the interface open
>blank window bug
>blank window bug
>aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>give up and rush the console
>random scientist charges on dragging ian
>runs in circles because its late and I forgot I still had the hardsuit on
>has a flash for some reason
>get flashed and die

[Cuboos]

Assistant ruins everything

You can almost count on greytiders to ruin your greentext at the last minute.

[cedarbridge]

Assistant ruins everything

You can almost count on greytiders to ruin your greentext at the last minute.

Mistyped that because tired. Same result really.

[Cuboos]

Assistant ruins everything

You can almost count on greytiders to ruin your greentext at the last minute.

Mistyped that because tired. Same result really.

I think at this point, a greytider is any non-antag that does some dickish shit that ruins a round for everyone.

[InsaneHyena]

>Latejoin security
>First thing I see is kudzu
>It's almost everywhere, and it's as the point where it's close to overtaking the station
>Shuttle is called almost immediately after I arrive.
>THEN I find out it's also cult.
>Also, chaplain is dead and doesn't want to get cloned.
>Takes me some time to find out which of the cults is it.
>Security recruited so much people, no gear is left for me, not even a belt or hud glasses.
>I'll make do.
>Leave fighting kudzu to actually capable people
>I'll search for cultists instead.
>Literally first maint I pop into, I see a curious man called Masayoshi Shido.
>He's hacking a door, and he has a stun prod on his back.
>Hm-m-m-m-m. Well, that's not fucking suspicious at all.
>Taze him, cuff him, decide to take a peek at what he has in his pockets.
>He immediately yells "I DINDU NUFFIN, WHY DID YOU TASE ME, SHITCURITY"
>A clockwork slab falls out of his pocket.
>Drag mister Nuffin to the brig.
>Halfway through remember that chaplain is dead.
>Actually, I should probably space him.
>Head to escape, there's kudzu there.
>For some unimaginable reason it blows up, sending me into crit.
>A geneticist drags me to cryo.
>This cryo is non-functional, for some reason, and I spend around five minutes stabilized, but extremely close to death.
>Eventually, someone fixes cryo, and I fall out of the tube.
>After a few steps, collapse on the ground due to bloodloss.
>Also, it turns out that while I was asleep, kudzu has overtaken the station completely.
>Also, I've missed the radstorm warning.
>Well, fuck me, then.
>Die.

>In ghostchat, see the cultist I've captured, who cries non-stop about shitsec. I'll paraphrase some of his gems
>"You are the reason everybody hates security!"
>"You are so bad at this game, you have to randomly arrest people! I wasn't acting suspicious."
>"Plenty of people make stunprods, only shitsec arrests for that. I bet you arrest people for that during war nuke ops rounds too!"
>"sec should do admin's job of dealing with griffers instead of being the no fun allowed squad" (quoted directly)
>"You should have ASKED me why I have the stun prod, listened to my explanation and only then, MAYBE, searched me."

Such is security life.

[MrAlphonzo]

>roundstart HoS
>Arrest shitters. Chemist tried to kill someone with potassium + water, assistant thermited into the cap's office.
>Assistant was "processed" by someone the AI got to help, but it turns out he had thermite on him. He decided to expand his cell into a two cell suite.
>Sort things out in the brig up until a scientist cries over comms when he was stun talismanned.
>Get Vietnam flashbacks from my deep hatred of blood cult built over the years
>Find the Chaplain, grab a tanker, have him give everyone holy water. He's a bit bored, keeps trying to go back to the chapel.
>Form a militia. Recruit a medical doctor, then the assistant that was arrested earlier. Chaplain joins in, too.
>We raid cargo after the AI notices cut cams, we found a massive base.
>Raid goes off without a hitch, no casualties, at least a dozen cultist deaths.
>Find another base at the abandoned bar on Box station, kill a jug and a lizard cultist after some minor complications.
>Massive pile of cult corpses locked up in cargo sec.
>Cultists keep showing up to the raided bases and I'm struggling to keep my weapons charged
>Eventually move back to the brig, and get two more people to join the militia.
>Get everyone hyped up for a raid on sci, we head out, but a plasmafire popped up and blocked the main hallways.
>Everyone gets confused, the militia disbands, and only me, the assistant, and an engineer who is being hurt by a cultist blade he picked up, heads to sci.
>On the way, and Ody tells me to get inside. I know what he's pulling, I tell him to fuck off and I move so he can't pick me up.
>He somehow picks me up anyways
>I didn't even see a notification, and I could've sworn that I moved. I think there was a lag spike.
>He morphines me once
>I wake up, mash every key I can find to try and escape, even try shooting from the inside of the Ody (You'd think that'd work)
>I call out for help after declaring the Ody to be rogue, but the militia either doesn't care, is dead, or AFK.
>Get morphined again, die of toxins.
>This is the part where I find out I was the sacc.
>The assistant who is the only competent person on the militia remaining must've gone AFK when I called out for help, after specifically declaring the odyseus to be rogue and kidnapping me, multiple times, over high volume on sec radio.
>The assistant found himself a Gygax when he got into sci, good man.
>After a wraith spaces me for some reason, the remnants of the cult that somehow survived the multiple plasma fires gather in arrivals.
>There aren't enough to summon, so, they go for the classic cult crutch- I mean trump card, summoning spirits.
>The assistant in the Gygax shows up at the very last second to try and stop the cult, but they managed to summon a milisecond before he unloaded into them.
>You tried, soldier, you tried.
>Nar'Shit has risen.
>The next ten minutes, I have never felt so much pure concentrated salt before in my life where I outright yell in frustration.
>Which is surprising, seeing as how I got pissed a lot when I was younger.
>I hate this shitty gamemode so much.

Despite being incredibly robust and slaughtering that cult, I was bested by a lucky cultist roboticist.
At least I finally kicked Jarek's ass.

[InsaneHyena]

Hold on a second, Jarek still plays this game? Which server does he play on, so I can avoid that ligger scum?

[MrAlphonzo]

Hold on a second, Jarek still plays this game? Which server does he play on, so I can avoid that ligger scum?

That blue shmuck still plays on Sybil.

[Armhulen]

Hold on a second, Jarek still plays this game? Which server does he play on, so I can avoid that ligger scum?

Sybil, the superior server

[bandit]

red lizards > blue lizards

[DemonFiren]

red lizards > blue lizards

lizards are red
lizards are blue
i'd fug them both
and so should you

[Montyblancs]

>THEN I find out it's also cult.
>Head to escape, there's kudzu there.
>For some unimaginable reason it blows up, sending me into crit.

>AI in this round
>5 minutes in, hear the chaplain screaming "CULT" over comms, glance over and see a scientist whacking him with some clockwork cult spear
>Borg runs into sat to move me. Initially decline, but it's pushy.
>Almost get dragged off in the hallways because borg decided to not just travel through space.
>Constantly bolt and unbolt myself to stop people from dragging me off.
>Turns into a mosh pit of about 7 people all trying to steal me/stop people from stealing me
>Finally get free, dragged into security's backroom
>"AI, Open"
>It's some other scientist on my sat
>She already converted over some doors and set up an occular warden
>aw yis
>Let her into the core, she converts every door along the way
>As soon as she's in, turn on the taser turrets
>"LAW 2 TURN OFF THE TURRETS"
>"You are a member of a cult that has harmed humans attempting to convert me, which will cause me to harm humans. This is a law 1 violation."
>This shit goes back and forth for like 15 minutes, scientist refuses to take "fuck off" as an answer
>Finally get "Fuck you, you're just doing this because no admins are on this is a breach of silicon policy"
>wot
>Scientist starts running around for the next 20 minutes bashing the turrets down while constantly getting tazed
>Relay info to borg, borg runs into sat and cuffs her
>Drags her over to beepsky, asks me to set her to wanted, and leaves her to be permadetained.
>Fly away with basically all of security in the tiny security pod


>Realize post round that the scientist already clockworked the sat's doors
>She could have left at any time

I'm sure this is where someone will tell me I did something wrong.

[DemonFiren]

personally i find that hilarious

[Screemonster]

I'm sure this is where someone will tell me I did something wrong.

Not dragging their cuffed ass (and beepsky) back into the turret chamber to be zapped and beaten forever

[Jarek]

Hold on a second, Jarek still plays this game? Which server does he play on, so I can avoid that ligger scum?

Never change

[DemonFiren]

Hold on a second, Jarek still plays this game? Which server does he play on, so I can avoid that ligger scum?

Never change

you are ligger scum, though

[InsaneHyena]

See, even Demonfiren thinks you're trash.

[BeeSting12]

>In ghostchat, see the cultist I've captured, who cries non-stop about shitsec. I'll paraphrase some of his gems
>"You are the reason everybody hates security!"
>"You are so bad at this game, you have to randomly arrest people! I wasn't acting suspicious."
>"Plenty of people make stunprods, only shitsec arrests for that. I bet you arrest people for that during war nuke ops rounds too!"
>"sec should do admin's job of dealing with griffers instead of being the no fun allowed squad" (quoted directly)
>"You should have ASKED me why I have the stun prod, listened to my explanation and only then, MAYBE, searched me."

Such is security life.

If you created that much salt as a mere latejoin officer you have done your job. I applaud you. also welcome to my life, every time i go into deadchat/OOC after a good run as HoS

edit: noone saw that quote screwup okayyyyyyy?

[Screemonster]

>"You should have ASKED me why I have the stun prod, listened to my explanation and only then, MAYBE, searched me."

"You should have LET me win"

"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME WIN"

[DemonFiren]

>In ghostchat, see the cultist I've captured, who cries non-stop about shitsec. I'll paraphrase some of his gems
>"You are the reason everybody hates security!"
>"You are so bad at this game, you have to randomly arrest people! I wasn't acting suspicious."
>"Plenty of people make stunprods, only shitsec arrests for that. I bet you arrest people for that during war nuke ops rounds too!"
>"sec should do admin's job of dealing with griffers instead of being the no fun allowed squad" (quoted directly)
>"You should have ASKED me why I have the stun prod, listened to my explanation and only then, MAYBE, searched me."

Such is security life.

If you created that much salt as a mere latejoin officer you have done your job. I applaud you. also welcome to my life, every time i go into deadchat/OOC after a good run as HoS

edit: noone saw that quote screwup okayyyyyyy?

sure did

[XDTM]

snip

You can resist out of an odysseus, instantly, by pressing the resist button.