Stories of rage, tears and regret

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:53 am #280541

Bottom post of the previous page:

didn't you know
the best fun is had by stealing other people's fun

InsaneHyena · Fri Apr 14, 2017 10:36 am

Dr_bee wrote:I like to run a gimmick when I get traitor, I get sleeping carp, maybe an agent ID, and and dress like a ninja. Instead of running around punching people I just grab a plant, a box, or some other method of hiding and make myself look as suspicious as humanly possible. following people, hiding in shadows, showing up in places I am not supposed to be in. If I get spotted or attacked, I immedately run away, using the sleeping carp to prevent insta-down taser shots.

and of course some asshole eventually ruins the fun. I cant count how many times a HoS or Captain dont roll with the gimmick and just flashbang or stun baton me and instamurder instead of cuffing for roleplay memes, it is frustrating, what would be a half hour of silliness gets ruined in minutes because valids.

More people need to roll with obvious traitor gimmicks, you dont WIN SS13 by validing all the traitors, thats how you get boring as fuck rounds.

I remember you, I brigged you once, but then decided to let you go despite clown HoS demanding valids. It later turned out that it was DA, and clown was a traitor.

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Fri Apr 14, 2017 12:03 pm #280576

Plunderphonics wrote:>Janitor
>You are the Traitor.
>hijack the shuttle to ensure no Nanotrasen crew escape alive
>*snap crackel*
>decide to do this the right way
>do a few sheets of paperwork to get access to cargo and medical, insulated gloves and a tool belt
>the HOP seems to fall in love with me and grants it all
>stash everything in the closet
>service borg is spraying the entire fucking station
>begin cleaning the entire fucking station
>do literally nothing traitorous at all
>some greyshirt walks down the hallway
>*BLAM*
>You're hit by a bullet in the head!
>*BLAM*
>You're hit by a bullet in the head!
>fall into crit, get dragged off to a corner in maintenance
>die, greyshirt doesn't even take anything off of me
>no one clones me although I had suit sensors set to max

I know it's ridiculous by default to get mad at spessmen, specially at dying while an antag but this is a really, really bad feeling.

This is why i hate murderboners, it's not just because i ded but they also actively prevent other traitor gimmicks by either murdering them or getting the shuttle called before they're set up

confused rock · Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:16 pm

keep in mind the >no one clones me although I had suit sensors set to max
not like the crew fucking helped, if anyone was mildly competent then there would be no issues

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Sat Apr 15, 2017 11:25 am #280989

Playing as CE when about 15 minutes into the shift I swing by the department to check on the engine.
There's a lawyer with a tool belt, puzzling over the tank dispenser.
Suspicious, I approach asking why he has all the plasma tanks laying around; mouse hovering over my baton.
"How much plasma is 30 moles?" Is the reply I get. ಠ_ಠ
I decide the give the newbie a break and not metagame the objective and explain that it's a single full tank worth of plasma. I start to write up something to the effect of 'now get out of here kid.' When out comes the weapons and I'm shot dead.
He then proceeds to empty the plasma canister trying to fill the tank.

I mean.. c'mon man. Help me help you.

TL;DR newbie traitor asks for help with objective, kills the guy who offered help, still manages to fuck up his objective.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Sat Apr 15, 2017 4:27 pm #281038

MimicFaux wrote:Playing as CE when about 15 minutes into the shift I swing by the department to check on the engine.
There's a lawyer with a tool belt, puzzling over the tank dispenser.
Suspicious, I approach asking why he has all the plasma tanks laying around; mouse hovering over my baton.
"How much plasma is 30 moles?" Is the reply I get. ಠ_ಠ
I decide the give the newbie a break and not metagame the objective and explain that it's a single full tank worth of plasma. I start to write up something to the effect of 'now get out of here kid.' When out comes the weapons and I'm shot dead.
He then proceeds to empty the plasma canister trying to fill the tank.

I mean.. c'mon man. Help me help you.

TL;DR newbie traitor asks for help with objective, kills the guy who offered help, still manages to fuck up his objective.

this hurts to read

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:26 am #281634

one time as a cargo tech
>go to conveyor
>loading 20 crates
>planning to order monkeys and do a meme
>order monkeys
>Get killed by drake before getting to monkey stash fuck

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:34 am #281636

Wrong thread

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:44 am #281640

D&B wrote:Wrong thread

???????????????? u wat mate

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:45 am #281641

bman wrote:
D&B wrote:Wrong thread
???????????????? u wat mate

Did you mean to post it in the stories of awesome?

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:46 am #281642

D&B wrote:
bman wrote:
D&B wrote:Wrong thread
???????????????? u wat mate
Did you mean to post it in the stories of awesome?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

ur right im dumb ill go put a story here and switch them out

bandit · Post by **bandit** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 8:46 am #282145

>Be mime
>Sign up with a name making fun of Klara Ellstrom
>Klara Ellstrom happens to be desword murderboning
>Continues to murderbone me
>Deswording
>Legs dismembered
>Cry
>Crit
>Klara feels bad for me, takes me to medbay, breaks the med storage window with the desword to heal me
>As thanks, pickpocket Klara's desword when out of crit
>Start attacking, Klara runs out of the room
>Follow her
>Slip on the broken window glass because no feet
>gg

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:32 pm #282219

it was going so well

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:26 pm #282414

>mime detective
>pax logs in and starts bitching me out for not adminning
>pax is also not adminning
>pax is next to me IC (though I don't believe he knew who I was? whatever)
>try to say hi
>pushes me onto water
>this is literally the least surprising event in the history of the universe
>sigh because that's the only way I can express myself
>he tries to take my headset

>mime

>he tries to take my headset

seriously this just makes me so fucking mad

I WAS A MIME

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PAX YOU RETARD

he got crushed though so its ok

cedarbridge · Tue Apr 18, 2017 10:51 pm

Qbopper wrote:he got crushed though so its ok

Wrong thread.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:34 am #282491

cedarbridge wrote:
Qbopper wrote:he got crushed though so its ok
Wrong thread.

the "it's okay" is me trying to cope with the endless rage consuming me because of how unbelievably stupid pax was

tacolizard · Post by **tacolizard** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 6:23 pm #282751

>be ling
>after being enemy number one for a while, get arrested
>officer brings me in
>hos, cap, det, and three officers bring me into the perma hallway, towards the execution room.
>cap puts his sword on the hallway table for some reason
>suprise monkey form out of my cuffs
>scurry towards the vent as the officers try to shoot me and end up hitting each other
>waitaminute.jpg
>run back to table, grab cap's sword
>start slicing people
>realize i'm losing the fight
>scurry back to the vent
>'You cannot enter the vent with items'
>die and get gibbed

bandit · Post by **bandit** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:07 pm #282788

Qbopper wrote:I WAS A MIME

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PAX YOU RETARD

he got crushed though so its ok

mimes can still talk

Plunderphonics · Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:22 pm

>be roboticist
>be debraining a guy via surgery like a decent person
>lizard roboticist asshole comes up and saws the guy in the head 10 times then cuts his head apart leaving the empty head, eyes, tongue and a fuckton of blood all over robotics
>get called an inefficient muppet

I WANT TO DIE.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:24 pm #282806

bandit wrote:
Qbopper wrote:I WAS A MIME

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PAX YOU RETARD

he got crushed though so its ok
mimes can still talk

>implying I would be so trash as to break my vow

disgusting, I'm actually offended you think that little of me

confused rock · Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:38 pm

nowadays a fuckload of mimes use pdas, and fucking half the crew thinks that doesn't fucking count as talking, those sacks of shit.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 7:41 pm #282823

confused rock wrote:nowadays a fuckload of mimes use pdas, and fucking half the crew thinks that doesn't fucking count as talking, those sacks of shit.

we're getting off topic

let's get back to why bryce is a fucking dumb fat idiot poopy head for not even stealing my shoulder holster or literally anything better than a mime's radio

even if I broke my vow and talked the crew would lynch me so it's not like I'm going to

confused rock · Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:04 pm

what, would he rather he leave you naked?

bandit · Post by **bandit** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:06 pm #282974

leave it to the lizard to bring the subject to nakedness

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:13 pm #283087

confused rock wrote:what, would he rather he leave you naked?

steal my gun and execute me it's better

bandit wrote:leave it to the lizard to bring the subject to nakedness

b

t

f

o

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 1:51 am #283167

Qbopper wrote:
cedarbridge wrote:
Qbopper wrote:he got crushed though so its ok
Wrong thread.
the "it's okay" is me trying to cope with the endless rage consuming me because of how unbelievably stupid pax was

what use could an assistant have for a security headset, detective mime?

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:07 pm #283445

IcePacks wrote:
Qbopper wrote:
cedarbridge wrote:
Qbopper wrote:he got crushed though so its ok
Wrong thread.
the "it's okay" is me trying to cope with the endless rage consuming me because of how unbelievably stupid pax was
what use could an assistant have for a security headset, detective mime?

none when I go to security and tell them "hey sec radio is compromised", also you liar you came up with that reason afterwards you know fully well it was to do the "ASSISTANT MURDERING ME IN HALLS HE TOOK MY RADIO" gimmick

though to be fair knowing how people play sec I doubt anyone would care and would continue to spout sensitive info over the channel

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:20 pm #283457

telling sec that the radio is comprised will do nothing

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 7:30 pm #283464

IcePacks wrote:telling sec that the radio is comprised will do nothing

Qbopper wrote:though to be fair knowing how people play sec I doubt anyone would care and would continue to spout sensitive info over the channel

MrEousTranger · Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:33 pm

>be me
>be assistant
>having a fun day assistanting
>play orion trail
>win
>yay
>go outside botany and use xeno toy
>people start freaking out
>give it to clown
>hes happy so am I
>out of no where mutagened 2401 times by a shitter
>blind
>deaf
>mute
>unable to express myself
>comic sans
>oh yeah and I'm a gril now
>fml
>walk around to medbay
> i think "OH ILL WRITE ON PAPER"
>blind people can't write on paper
>why
>I'm fucked
>find a metagamey glitch solution that makes me feel sick to do
>rename papers for messages
>*shudder*
>point to them
>blind people can point I guess
>papers titled "kyp astar is blind deaf and mute help me"
>I feel like a cheater
>healed and eventually regain senses but that guilt lasts forever...

Remove blinds renaming paper and pointing when?

All regret

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:09 am #283668

why didn't you just kill yourself

bman · Post by **bman** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 1:20 pm #284451

>assistant goose mcswan
>see two other assistants (i forgot their names, it was maybe luck or bon nuit and some other guy i think terry mcfall??)
>terry makes a spear and sec immediately gets RING RING
>sec chases us after we evade all of their tasers like we're in the matrix
>yaketysax
>finally caught
>hos edward sloan
>all 3 of us get gulagged for a high price
>lizard lawyer asks to be gulagged too and comes along

>i know what i must do... my legacy...
>"i will save you guys, i will die in the process, remember me"
>i stuff all of the shitposters in the oxygen crate
>walk over the lava separating gulag and mining base, enduring the pain like pure manlyhood, sacrificing self for team mates
>thanks to a twist of fate they found an extinguisher, extinguished me and healed me with ointment just enough for me to survive

>now we're in mining station
>a miner approaches
>donatello versus
>he immediately shouts "prisoners in gulag1111111!" like an uncool faggot who you wouldnt show your secret handshake
>we tell him we're cool and unarmed
>he pdas hos and hos tells him to kill us
>he wants his valids except we're not

>lizard pulls his box to the front of the base but he shoots the lizard so it dunks his box in lava
>he shoots down the lizard dead while we screAM "DUDE STOP WE'RE COOL"
>keeps shooting us
>me and luck and terry (i think) get sick and tired of his shit
>i beat his head in with a pick and eat some shots for luck who punches the fuck out of him.

>traps himself with the mining pod in a chunk of stone
>i mine in and he gets rekt

>miner with an infinite ranged weapon, stims, armor, a survival knife dies to two tiders, NICE.
>we did it, we avenged our lizard frien- OH GOD WHO'S SHOOTING THOSE LASERS
>sloan and another guy shooting us up with lethals like we're school children
>we scatter but they get luck
>i go under a rock and hide hoping they wont find me, since i was already A DEAD MAN WALKING FROM: 1. walking on molten metals, 2. enduring various high power KA shots.

>they find me, i close my eyes and die the death of every tider.

thus ends the tale of the three tiders who fought prejudice and the prejudice won.

and this is how three loving, caring, and passionate young men died because ONE of us made a spear.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 1:35 pm #284453

tbh donatello is never not a shitler

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 1:52 pm #284454

He sank my ore box first t b h

bman · Post by **bman** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 2:18 pm #284461

another short donatello story

>be syndie
>wanna do j-loz syndie prize radio show meme
>give out gifts
>ask questions
>have fun
>never kill anyone or use my TCs for my self

>get arrested
>it's donatello versus the captain
>he wants me dead
>drags me to crematorium
>im like "why are you cancerously validhunty all i wanted to do was give out gifts"
>"sorry next time dont get caught"
>puts me in the incinerator tray
>doesnt stun me like a mongoloid

>I GET OUT AND RUN THROUGH 3 OPEN DOORS THAT CLOSE -JUST- AS I ENTER THROUGH THEM, AND I RAN BOY, I RAN AS FAST AS MY LEGS COULD TAKE ME.

>live rest of my round in fear after cheating death

funny af

MrEousTranger · Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:02 pm

>be Warden
>kyp astar
>havin a nice day
>gulag some guy for being a violent shitter
>hear word of cult
>CLUCK CULT!
>oi vay
>chap comes in feeding everyone holy water
>k
>use implants
>some cultist starts taunting us over radio screaming WGW
>he tells us where he is
>ai room
>he feels ROBUST
>suit every officer with everything we have
>hand out all mine and the hos's spare armor clothes
>reddy 2 dye
>get sec force to AI tube
>I go in first
>I'm ready
>I FEEL ROBUST
>the cult fucks blocked off the exit from the tube
>I can't climb back in
>can't move
>others come in and get stuck with me
>theres a hole in space
>we all die from cold, lack of oxygen, pressure, and anger
>rattard summoned
>My least favorite round ever
>0/10 ban whoever did this

BeeSting12 · Post by **BeeSting12** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:15 pm #284489

bman wrote:>assistant goose mcswan
>see two other assistants (i forgot their names, it was maybe luck or bon nuit and some other guy i think terry mcfall??)
>terry makes a spear and sec immediately gets RING RING
>sec chases us after we evade all of their tasers like we're in the matrix
>yaketysax
>finally caught
>hos edward sloan
>all 3 of us get gulagged for a high price
>lizard lawyer asks to be gulagged too and comes along

>i know what i must do... my legacy...
>"i will save you guys, i will die in the process, remember me"
>i stuff all of the shitposters in the oxygen crate
>walk over the lava separating gulag and mining base, enduring the pain like pure manlyhood, sacrificing self for team mates
>thanks to a twist of fate they found an extinguisher, extinguished me and healed me with ointment just enough for me to survive

>now we're in mining station
>a miner approaches
>donatello versus
>he immediately shouts "prisoners in gulag1111111!" like an uncool faggot who you wouldnt show your secret handshake
>we tell him we're cool and unarmed
>he pdas hos and hos tells him to kill us
>he wants his valids except we're not

>lizard pulls his box to the front of the base but he shoots the lizard so it dunks his box in lava
>he shoots down the lizard dead while we screAM "DUDE STOP WE'RE COOL"
>keeps shooting us
>me and luck and terry (i think) get sick and tired of his shit
>i beat his head in with a pick and eat some shots for luck who punches the fuck out of him.

>traps himself with the mining pod in a chunk of stone
>i mine in and he gets rekt

>miner with an infinite ranged weapon, stims, armor, a survival knife dies to two tiders, NICE.
>we did it, we avenged our lizard frien- OH GOD WHO'S SHOOTING THOSE LASERS
>sloan and another guy shooting us up with lethals like we're school children
>we scatter but they get luck
>i go under a rock and hide hoping they wont find me, since i was already A DEAD MAN WALKING FROM: 1. walking on molten metals, 2. enduring various high power KA shots.

>they find me, i close my eyes and die the death of every tider.

thus ends the tale of the three tiders who fought prejudice and the prejudice won.

and this is how three loving, caring, and passionate young men died because ONE of us made a spear.

Ah yes I remember this round. At that point I killed you for killing Donatello, not having a spear. The gulag for spear wasn't even for the spear, it was because you idiots started helping each other up and running away pulling each other WHEN I JUST WANTED TO TAKE THE SPEAR.

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:20 pm #284492

I think I touched an ahelp like this once... déjà vu

BeeSting12 · Post by **BeeSting12** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:20 pm #284493

MimicFaux wrote:I think I touched an ahelp like this once... déjà vu

I remember getting bwoinked by you... good times

bman · Post by **bman** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:20 pm #284494

MimicFaux wrote:I think I touched an ahelp like this once... déjà vu

Terry did it.

bman · Post by **bman** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:21 pm #284495

also donatello was gonna kill us tbh you should've cremated him for dying to 2 greys while he had antistuns and shit

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:39 pm #284498

4 Greys

There was a dead burned husk.

And I was returning with damage from a drake.

bman · Post by **bman** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 5:00 pm #284501

D&B wrote:4 Greys

There was a dead burned husk.

And I was returning with damage from a drake.

well thats if u count the lawyer but you tore their asshole apart almost immediately

regardless it was funny so who cares

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 3:31 am #284747

>you are the trialmin
>wizard round
>fail to log out in time
>okay well while i wait for the mass of ahelps i'll just badmin on centcomm and figure that stuff out
>sudden strike of inspirtation
>i will assemble an employee termination machine
>conveyor belt-feld gibber
>how the fuck do i get conveyor belts to even work in the first place are you fucking kidding me ri-
>go on adminbus
>yo can someone give me a hand with conveyors
>cobby gives me a hand with conveyors
>round rages on in the meantime, summon events
>build conveyor leading from shuttle into narrow slaughter pen with emagged recycler and cremator, crushes the terminated crewmen and deposits them on the gibber
>shuttle gets called
>oh boy here we go
>it's happening
>i can't wait
>cobby installs a bunch of disabler emitters for balanced chainstuns
>wait ten breathtaking minutes while the ghosts marvel at our spicy memes
>shuttle launches
>oh shit it's happening
>create command report informing the crew that they're fired because accounts payable can't figure out who is who anymore
>ROUND ENDS
>what
>what the FUCK
>all antags died
>ALL ANTAGS DIED WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS SUMMON EVENTS ARE YOU FU-
>round gets delayed
>shuttle gets insta-launched
>lone hijacker eagerly runs off the shuttle
>through the conveyor
>into the termination device

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:32 pm #285998

A story not of myself, but one that we've all shared at one point.
[youtube]LtPdqSuEWyE[/youtube]

Tue May 02, 2017 4:19 am

>oh boy there are other admins on I can play
>roll engineer, haven't played them from roundstart since SM was added
>seems pretty intuitive I can figure this out
>set up cooling loops, rad collectors, max pumps, turn on siphoning vents, the works
>looks good to me!
>it is not good
>turn on emitters
>lightning instantly vaporizes my coworker
>scream at AI to turn off emitters while I grab my dead pal and run for my life
>dead pal is so dead he can't be defibbed
>walk of shame back to engineering
>engineering fucking exploded
>by methods unknown to me or anybody else i managed to accidentally detonate the SM like 3 minutes in
>regretfully walk around repairing things and restoring power to critical areas with manual cell transplants
>computers power supply shuts off so i can't even repent in full or finish the round

How the HECK did it even explode that fast there were like no delamination warnings, I thought SM was designed to not get messed up in 5 minutes or whatever

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Tue May 02, 2017 4:43 pm #287620

Dear god i couldn't delaminate it by intentionally sabotaging it for 40 minutes with no witnesses and you just do it by mistake what

Dr_bee · Post by **Dr_bee** » Tue May 02, 2017 5:29 pm #287642

XDTM wrote:Dear god i couldn't delaminate it by intentionally sabotaging it for 40 minutes with no witnesses and you just do it by mistake what

One of my favorite SM stories is where due to a power failure random event the gas in the chamber became too high. after 20 minutes of fighting the supermatter I decided to say "fuck it" and decon the floors with an RCD to vent the gas.

As it turns out, the space tiles are treated as no gas instead of venting gas, so it didnt actually stop the delamination, but it did somehow stop it from exploding. Another engineer decided to attempt to reset the SM so we could set it up properly this time only to have the supermatter instantly hit over 2000% instability the moment the last floor tile was placed.

Somehow we found a way to make the supermatter deadlier in our effort to fix it.

Durkel · Post by **Durkel** » Wed May 03, 2017 11:56 am #287986

PKPenguin321 wrote:snip

The awful awkward moment when you've got to pm a headmin on why he blew up the sm shard as non antag and he logs off on you.

Wew.

MrAlphonzo · Post by **MrAlphonzo** » Wed May 03, 2017 5:51 pm #288110

This is an oldie, little more than a half a year ago when I started playing on Basil, back when it didn't have twenty minute rounds.

Enjoying myself in xenobio, didn't get murderboned for once. Manage to make myself into a changeling.
Since I don't want security frying my ass, and there's basically nothing left to do in sci, I go apply for job in security.
While I'm standing in the brig, waiting, I'm cuffed and dragged into the interrogation room. Not really sure why.
The HoS is in there, I inform him that I made myself into a changeling via xenobiology and would like to join security.
He declines.
I get bored, and I'm kept in the interrogation room for no apparent reason, so I melt my cuffs off and laugh at the HoS for being so paranoid.
The HoS was Edward Sloan.

That was my first mistake.

Obviously livid, he is hesitant to toss me out of the brig and not toss me into the gibber.

I wander around the station looking for valids to hunt, regardless of having a redshirt on. I don't find anyone.

Shuttle is called for reasons I can't remember, I head to escape. I think the engine was released.
A security officer is being murdered by a traitor botanist, and seeing as how I had already informed security of my changeling status, I go ahead and whack the botanist with my armblade.
The sec officer thanks me, goes to medbay, and I finish off the botanist.

There was a small problem, though.

I'm not sure if the detective was retarded or just hungry for valids, but she unloaded all of her .38 shells into me.
The HoS, tuning out my claims of saving a security officer's life, and my claim that the botanist was a traitor, crits me and throws me into the cremator.

This was my first time getting my shit kicked in by Edward Sloan, and it will not be the last.

I was playing on Delta, back when it was just added. Minding my own business in the maint arcade, when a security officer shows up.
He starts to cuff me for no reason while saying "Henk" and "Kek", I guess he thought it was funny to push around assistants.
I trip him and cuff him, tie him to a chair.
"Henk"
I let him go after I win a round of Orion, but, we both laugh it off.
Small problem.
The HoS was none other than Edward Sloan.
And the officer I had cuffed had screamed for help.

Now, as Sloan does, he does not give two shits and a half about me letting his sec officer go, or the fact that his officer was being shitcurity himself.

So, what does an assistant get after a harmless prank?
Perma.
You know who else was in perma?
A traitor.
Cy Wolfe, I believe.
I tell him the tale of Rex Salazar's demise.
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's why you're in here? I'm a traitor. I killed people. All you did was handcuff a faggot." He said something along those lines.
Eventually, Cy Wolfe makes repeated attempts at escaping from perma with assistance from the AI.
Not sure if the AI was trying to make him look bad so the HoS would put him down, or they had struck a deal.

Soon after Cy's execution, the warden had popped in and asked why I was in there.
I shared my tale, and he snuck me out.
I don't remember your name, but bless your soul whoever you are.
I remained as an unknown, without many belongings, just wandering the station until the shuttle was called.

I cannot recall any other stories of Sloan tossing my body in the dumpster, but I know that those were not the only two times. Perhaps I'll have flashbacks the next time I kill myself in the armory.

Cuboos · Post by **Cuboos** » Thu May 04, 2017 2:23 am #288290

>Be ling
>Doing well
>got my six genomes
>Assassinated the RD without being caught
>Got the Hand teleporter
>Holy shit, am i finally going to greentext as a ling?
>Fuck around for a bit, keeping a low profile
>No one suspects me of anything
>Security doesn't even search me when random searches are allowed
>Is this it? Is this finally it?
> I'm going to greentext as a ling... it's finally going to happen
> Shuttled gets called
>OH BOY GREENTEXT HERE I COME
> shuttle arrives
> Some assistants are beating the shit out of a scientist
> beat the assistants off and they scatter
> Help the scientist up and he and i run into the shuttle
> shuttle launches
> Buckle myself in feeling all confident and proud
> It's actually going to happen this time, i'm actually going to get greentext as a ling
> Scientist i rescued walks out from shuttle cock pit
> Activates double E-sword and singles me out
> it's a crowded shuttle, there's plenty of other people to target
> why...
> i helped you...
> why me specifically?
> i die
> shuttle docks
>red text...
> i wasn't his target

I fucking help that scientist escape a mob beating from a bunch of assistants and he decides to kill me from it... Changeling is cursed for me but i can't seem to bring myself to remove it from my preferences...