Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

ShadowDimentio · Fri Feb 03, 2017 7:45 pm

Bottom post of the previous page:

The sheet they gave me of instructions say on day 1 to eat cool soft stuff like jello, yogurt and icecream. It was nice and soft and cool and got the taste of blood out of my mouth.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:00 pm #251438

ShadowDimentio wrote:The sheet they gave me of instructions say on day 1 to eat cool soft stuff like jello, yogurt and icecream. It was nice and soft and cool and got the taste of blood out of my mouth.

they just told me to slap ice on it and eat, like, apple cups or something. i honestly didnt like that more than the time they put a bunch of wires on one of my canines because it was backwards and i had to live with constant dully throbbing mouth pain for over a year while they constantly readjusted so the tooth could turn 180 degrees

420weedscopes · Sat Feb 04, 2017 12:51 pm

got friendzoned

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Sat Feb 04, 2017 6:18 pm #251783

today marks the 2nd anniversary of my fathers passing

February sucks

Remie Richards · Sun Feb 05, 2017 4:01 pm

CosmicScientist wrote:Bought strawberries the other day and still had over half a box of blueberries from last weekend.
"Hey I'm going to make pancakes."
"Alright I'll go get some lemons from the shop since we're out."
Wound up with a pancake station of toppings:
Sugar

Lemon

Strawberries

Blueberries

Cream

Grated chocolate

>no orange juice

you literally don't know how to pancake.

420weedscopes · Sun Feb 05, 2017 6:31 pm

i seem to be the only one that makes a fruit pancake as well as a meat pancake
never combined that's fucking insane

Super Aggro Crag · Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:26 pm

I dont like pancakes.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 4:44 pm #252528

I generally prefer waffles but good pancakes are still awesome

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 6:54 pm #252560

I don't feel like making a thread for this but I wanted to share so here's my irl DnD game I'm playing in (it's my first time playing, and it's 4e, despite me having just bought the 5e book, wew)

My ranger's name is Roberto - his dwarven foster parents thought he was an elf (he's a half elf) and they thought Roberto was an elvish name

For context, we have "Frozone" the mage, a dragonkin who's "tits are slightly bigger than anyone else's that is near her", THAT GUY's character (he's gone though like 3 of them now because he keeps doing dumb shit and dying), the paladin who's god wants him to get into as many fights as possible, and the druid played by the french guy who takes 5 minutes to say "hey do you have any useful information on [quest] for us?". Aside from the paladin, the DM, and maybe the druid, this is everyone's first game.

We started with Keep on the Shadowfell (although I was the only one who felt we didn't do enough afterwards - we stopped the cultists from opening a portal and letting a big bad dragon out, but then promptly did nothing past killing the head cultist, taking his staff, and bailing on the portal where the dragon was still visible even though he can't get through) and are now on our way to Baldur's Gate, because no one else had any better ideas and I like video games. We're moving through a mountain range and like retards, didn't stop to rest until it was dark.

So I say "well uh, let's find a cave or something" because the area is known for having goblins and shit like that, when we hear thudding near by. I say "it's probably a giant" but the retard (THAT GUY) sends his swordmage running off into the pitch black looking for something to fight. The paladin follows, and they promptly find the giant when they run into its leg.

Someone has the sense to crack a sunrod and we start trying to unload on the giant, but it's got an absurd AC since we're like level 3. Frozone is essentially the only one who can reliably deal damage to the thing, and I say "fuck this let's run". Frozone's player is inebriated at this point (this session is his first time trying DnD, he's a known lightweight, and of course THAT GUY brings out a bottle of rum like a piece of shit) so he runs off into the dark without everyone. I give chase, considering the fact that the guy is drunk irl and likely going to do something dumb. More uninteresting shit happens and we're all taking a lot of damage, when the dragonborn with slightly-bigger-tits decides to try something absolutely retarded.

He asks the DM if he can throw the rope and have it loop around anything on the giant. Me and the paladin immediately see where he's going with this and are sort of in shock. Somehow, he actually manages to land the throw through a buckle or some shit like that I forgot, and pulls it tight. He then yanks two daggers out, and utters those fateful words.

"I want to climb the giant."

Nat 20 on the skill check, he starts stabbing his way up the leg. I'm usually an uncreative piece of shit, but this ridiculous display emboldens me, and I ask the DM if I can turn on VATS and aim for the eyes. I pop my daily to shoot two arrows, one at each eye, and let the d20 fly.

Nat 20, of course.

The giant is now blind, and blindly flailing around. Thanks to the rope and daggers, plus a healthy roll, the dragonborn manages to hold their grip on the giant's leg. Somehow, THAT GUY's swordmage manages to get killed by the giant's weapon, despite him not even making an attempt to hit any of us. The giant manages to push the arrows deeper into his eyes as he's shitting himself in terror. Somehow, the tiny group of retards have managed to turn the situation around. The giant falls as Frozone deals a nat 20 on a spell, and the party puts the boots to him (medium style).

we should be fucking dead tbh

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:43 pm #252896

Second Second life

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:45 pm #252898

Also not that i think anyone cares about tabletop stuff in the watercooler thread, but we do actually have a specific thread for it if you would rather post em there.

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Tue Feb 07, 2017 9:54 pm #252926

I´m pretty sure that VR thing is going to get used for porn

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:50 pm #253279

Being a fucked up ball of unfounded guilt again.

I swear sometimes I just want to be purposely unreliable and incompetent so people will never rely on me. That way I'll never fail them.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:57 pm #253283

CosmicScientist wrote:I love rolling a 1 at a critical junction followed by a party member rolling a 20 and saving your arse.

Went to a talk from a man in industry, most of my module group weren't there but thankfully the module it was aimed at had full attendance (durn masters students watching dota instead of doing their team project, not even playing it).

Their product is something I think they have working for or will be working for smartphone VR. They said in the talk but I can't remember. Think VR Skype.
[youtube]GGOYmKFkom8[/youtube]
They want to get lip syncing working and there was something about hand gestures being linked with how you say things since you can't really do hand gestures otherwise.

I don't see why I would use this when altspace exists, though

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Feb 08, 2017 11:29 pm #253301

One i handed off to a relative because I'm not up for it. Just stuff around the house otherwise.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:35 am #253325

I'm sure a new project would probably help focus me, but I'm pretty sure cleaning up my room and file cabinet will have to do for now.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:30 pm #253525

oh shit my man john wick 2 comes out this weekend and I'll actually be in a town with a movie theater then

(yes, my town is so in butt-fuck-nowhere that we don't have a movie theater anymore, point and laugh)

Spoiler:

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:39 pm #253527

Fuck dude John Wick the first was so fucking good.

Movie theatre at the nearby uni is playing Drive at midnight on friday, can not fucking wait. Drive is maybe my favorite movie

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 8:12 pm #253650

apparently my dorm is offering a free day at a ski lodge this month

pffft socializing when i could be slipping the hos

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 8:19 pm #253653

Dammit, I hate it when the skin under my fingernails itches.

Thu Feb 09, 2017 10:49 pm

Qbopper wrote:oh shit my man john wick 2 comes out this weekend and I'll actually be in a town with a movie theater then

(yes, my town is so in butt-fuck-nowhere that we don't have a movie theater anymore, point and laugh)
Spoiler:
why are we still here? just to suffer?

gonna go see it with some friends later next week but i never saw the first one quick tell me the summary of the first one so i can make small talk etc

Nienhaus · Post by **Nienhaus** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:35 am #254837

WJohnston · Post by **WJohnston** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:51 am #254840

good meme my shit

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:50 am #254872

Spoiler:

My shower door exploded and I had to get five stitches on my right foot, the base of my left thumbnail glued back in place, and some minor cuts on my legs cleaned out

Shown: Blood
Not shown:more blood

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 5:23 am #254893

CosmicScientist wrote:Fuck me, is that red tipped thing standing in the shower basin a piece of glass with blood? I hope you heal okay.

How'd it happen? Any clue? I'm glad you didn't get hit anywhere else with edges.

Nah that's a broom. The glass was safety glass I guess so it shattered into tiny chunks instead of shards. The door had come off the tracks and was stuck. Not sure if I just used too much force trying to slide it open or what but it just completely shattered and sprayed glass everywhere

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:36 am #254912

Must be Chinese safety glass if it still cut you up

Whoisthere · Post by **Whoisthere** » Wed Feb 15, 2017 7:19 am #255810

I played murican football yesterday as a guard and it was fun but made me feel like I'm in special olympics with all the silly finger-breaking helmets and armor and frequent stops and all that.

Whoisthere · Post by **Whoisthere** » Wed Feb 15, 2017 7:45 am #255819

Also the girls looked a bit weird and some of the ""athletes"" on my team had HUGE GUTS and there was a ""powerlifter"" who was like the stereotypical all fat no muscle maximum back arch dude. The team needs to roid, especially since the main competitor team roids and has a 160kg dude and our fattest guy is like 130kg at best.

420weedscopes · Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:40 pm

i fucked up two dates in very quick succession last night
ok

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Feb 15, 2017 6:47 pm #255975

Nigga, nevar double book

420weedscopes · Thu Feb 16, 2017 12:08 pm

same girl
chain of events
we plan A Week Ahead
on the night she says she's actually not feeling it
i got angry about it and yelled a lot then retreated to my own hole
that's one date kill
later on she said On Second Thoughts I'm Feeling It Now
i reply to her I'm Not Feeling It and she says Okay
that's two dates kill

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 9:25 pm #256488

A guy in treatment here decided to get into the film industry. By film industry I mean a role in some gay porn sucking a dude's dick and eating the guy's ass.

He's extremely defensive about it and insists he's straight.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 9:32 pm #256492

420weedscopes wrote:same girl
chain of events
we plan A Week Ahead
on the night she says she's actually not feeling it
i got angry about it and yelled a lot then retreated to my own hole
that's one date kill
later on she said On Second Thoughts I'm Feeling It Now
i reply to her I'm Not Feeling It and she says Okay
that's two dates kill

Fuck that dude you dont deserve to be treated like that. Good on you for telling her to piss off

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Thu Feb 16, 2017 9:47 pm #256500

420weedscopes wrote:same girl
chain of events
we plan A Week Ahead
on the night she says she's actually not feeling it
i got angry about it and yelled a lot then retreated to my own hole
that's one date kill
later on she said On Second Thoughts I'm Feeling It Now
i reply to her I'm Not Feeling It and she says Okay
that's two dates kill

Why didn't you just fuck her the second time around and then block her number and cut all contact with her afterwards?

Whoisthere · Post by **Whoisthere** » Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:22 am #256731

Jacough wrote:A guy in treatment here decided to get into the film industry. By film industry I mean a role in some gay porn sucking a dude's dick and eating the guy's ass.

He's extremely defensive about it and insists he's straight.

What's so gay about it? Maybe if they were positioned in such a way that their balls were touching, it would maybe, MAYBE be KINDA gay, but just sucking a man's dick and eating his ass? What's gay about that, me and my bros do that all the time, and we're all straight.

No homo.

Screemonster · Fri Feb 17, 2017 8:31 am

"I'm not gay, but fifty bucks is fifty bucks"

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Feb 18, 2017 1:41 am #257151

Screemonster wrote:"I'm not gay, but fifty bucks is fifty bucks"

literally this

IrishWristWatch0 · Sat Feb 18, 2017 1:49 am

Had my second interview for my first security job today. Honestly went really well. Dude was trying to sell ME the job. Which is reassuring.

420weedscopes · Sat Feb 18, 2017 4:31 am

Jacough wrote:Why didn't you just fuck her the second time around and then block her number and cut all contact with her afterwards?

as i said the second time around was In Quick Succession so The Same Night
also i'm not a scumbag of a human bean

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:42 pm #257967

Whoisthere wrote:Also the girls looked a bit weird and some of the ""athletes"" on my team had HUGE GUTS and there was a ""powerlifter"" who was like the stereotypical all fat no muscle maximum back arch dude. The team needs to roid, especially since the main competitor team roids and has a 160kg dude and our fattest guy is like 130kg at best.

hey man,,,,

leave the oline/dline alone.... linebackers gotta be DAD fat to guard the ALL STAR quarterback.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:38 pm #258316

Is your flatmate a (((Jew))), or why is there an (((echo)))?

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Wed Feb 22, 2017 3:52 am #259133

i just finished watching hardcore henry, hot damn that was some good shit. probably my new fav movie tbqh

420weedscopes · Fri Feb 24, 2017 9:56 am

CosmicScientist wrote:I'mma baker now.

quarter your strawberries, you can fit a lot more and have them go around in a ring shape
consider using raspberries or blueberries for the gaps in the top, honeycomb shavings is also a good shout
the upper tier looks a little burnt
try to spread the cream just over the edges of each tier
consider separating the cream and mixing honey in with the in-between layer's one

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Feb 24, 2017 10:02 am #260137

Weedscopes, you're supposed to be baked, not baking.

Super Aggro Crag · Sat Feb 25, 2017 3:39 am

I died of carbon monoxide poisoning and god sent me back to earth to punish all of you for wearing mixed fabrics
Check your batteries

ShadowDimentio · Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:51 am

I couldn't for the fucking life of me remember what the word "propaganda" was, and then forgot again as I was writing this.

Send help.

Remie Richards · Sun Feb 26, 2017 12:47 pm

DemonFiren wrote:Weedscopes, you're supposed to be baked, not baking.

he used to be a chef dummy.

Remie Richards · Sun Feb 26, 2017 4:39 pm

Bill Paxton's died, it's truly "Game over, man! Game over!"
Rest in peace pvt hudson.

Post by **Armhulen** » Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:38 pm #260943

Permabanned from the discord I mentioned earlier because I rewrote the rule set to include a rule zero

sheeeeeit

420weedscopes · Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:59 pm

CosmicScientist wrote:I didn't expect to get actual advice from this, so thanks!

np dude np
the top can be Pretty Much Anything so long as it is sweet
savoury is acceptable, yes there are cakes like this with meat on them
related
[youtube]aYBkDxao3wg[/youtube]

DemonFiren wrote:Weedscopes, you're supposed to be baked, not baking.

it's ironic

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Mon Feb 27, 2017 8:30 pm #261376

DPD was meant to deliver my new computer today, but they didn't.

Cunts.