Memorable Quotes

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:42 am #236049

Bottom post of the previous page:

Ah, the cancer that is killing /tg/.

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:57 pm #236097

DemonFiren wrote:Ah, the cancer that is killing /tg/.

My current favourite wayto root out valid hunters is with the Syndicate Trader 'event'. Here's an 'npc' that trades rare goods for generally, cash only; so right off the bat it's not easy to get a lot of stuff, and weapons are very expensive. Most often, people end up walking away with a Mulligan, a syndie dufflebag, cigarettes or if they scrounge enough, a stetchkin without extra ammo. (which is acquirable elsewhere).

The event usually ends when security decides to raid the shop for those sweet sweet valids, at which point the Trader hosts a clearance sale, and heads home.

EDIT to avoid unnecessary post: Yes, I equip them with an explosive in case of full on shitlers. Otherwise Security is going to be roaming the halls with sniper rifles and elite hardsuits. And no one wants that.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:03 pm #236100

You are giving the trader a macrobomb implant just in case, right?

Not-Dorsidarf · Fri Dec 16, 2016 4:33 pm

DemonFiren wrote:You are giving the trader a macrobomb implant just in case, right?

Please, a macrobomb and a few syndiecores in their backpack. Nobody gets the goods.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 5:32 pm #236139

kevinz000 wrote:[10:32:05]SAY: Hawk Blackman/Dart Cartier : When the law gives you grounds to kill, only a traitor would not kill.
I thought I was a shitty validhunter.

so a murderous traitors good to go, right

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 5:52 pm #236141

IcePacks wrote:
kevinz000 wrote:[10:32:05]SAY: Hawk Blackman/Dart Cartier : When the law gives you grounds to kill, only a traitor would not kill.
I thought I was a shitty validhunter.
so a murderous traitors good to go, right

Read security policy discussion thread for full story

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:19 pm #236200

i don't have the time to scroll through malkevin idealogically masturbating to facism can you give me the abridged version

Screemonster · Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:21 pm

kevinz000 wrote:[10:32:05]SAY: Hawk Blackman/Dart Cartier : When the law gives you grounds to kill, only a traitor would not kill.
I thought I was a shitty validhunter.

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:44 pm #236401

IcePacks wrote:i don't have the time to scroll through malkevin idealogically masturbating to facism can you give me the abridged version

tl;dr ran into science just to shoot a golem doing science and nearly executed them but I stopped them, gigantic piece of shit who should not be allowed anywhere near security or the servers.

I am security.
He is security.
Round about to end shuttle is 2-3 minutes away
He walks into science and into a lab
Tasers and cuffs a golem and drags them to interrogation
Tells me he's going to kill them for being nonhuman
>I told him to stop and fuck off
>He doesn't listen
>I go to uncuff the golem
>He shoots me
>I call security
>He gets cuffed, I get uncuffed, he gets uncuffed in that order
>Golem already went catatonic because they can't deal with his shit
>We all go to shuttle
>He taunts me over the radio and starts attacking people that are helping security
>I shoot and cuff him and he starts bawling and crying and calling me a shitter
>Next round
>He's officer, no hos, he convinces captain to make him HoS
>Wants to perma clown over walking into the brig (not breaking, walking)
>Captain denied him
>Makes snarky comment about me thinking "nonhumans are people" good thing it doesn't apply to hostile mobs etc tec
>etc etc I gave up on the round traitor emagged it and I barely gave a fuck so there.

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:27 am #236789

PM: Kevinz000/(Mekhi Anderson)->[REDACTED]/[REDACTED]: Why did you use a maximum yield explosive to destroy a single tree?
PM: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]->Kevinz000/(Mekhi Anderson): I wasn't told to cut down a tree
PM: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]->Kevinz000/(Mekhi Anderson): I was told to remove tree
PM: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]->Kevinz000/(Mekhi Anderson): I removed tree

ADMIN: Shadowlight213/(Violet Lotsu) (FLW): 8===================D

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Dec 23, 2016 3:31 pm #238016

Shenzi Brouwers is trying to put handcuffs on Santa Claus!

No fun allowed.

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Fri Dec 23, 2016 10:31 pm #238133

Adamantine Pahoehoe says, "Listen here, you piece of fucking retarded ass shit. I am Adamantine Pahoehoe. Leader of golems. Owner of goliaths. begger of admins. abductor of xenobiology. go fuck off, you nerd."

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Sat Dec 24, 2016 11:22 pm #238332

MimicFaux wrote:Shenzi Brouwers is trying to put handcuffs on Santa Claus!

No fun allowed.

there is literally no other way this could end

remember when i was father griffmas?

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Sun Dec 25, 2016 3:42 am #238389

OOC: Shaps: maybe if you rub your pubes on unwashed bats maybe

Kjolstet · Post by **Kjolstet** » Mon Jan 02, 2017 6:25 am #240115

That's a syndicate bomb.
A large and menacing device. Can be bolted down with a wrench.
It seems pristine and undamaged.
A digital display on it reads "33".

Im Sad So Im Gonna Build Guns says, "Shit"
Im Sad So Im Gonna Build Guns says, "Shit"
Bredden Butter says, "GODSPEED"
Im Sad So Im Gonna Build Guns says, "MAGENNTA YELLOW GOLD PURPLE OR CRIMSON"
Im Sad So Im Gonna Build Guns says, "WHAT DO I CUT"
Im Sad So Im Gonna Build Guns says, "OH GOD OH GOD"
Bredden Butter yells, "PURPLE!!"
Im Sad So Im Gonna Build Guns gasps!

An alarm sounds! It's go-
You're set on fire!
Your eyes sting a little.
Bredden Butter has died at Telecoms Control Room.
You have given up life and succumbed to death.
(F) DEAD: Im Sad So Im Gonna Build Guns says, "I SHOULDN'T OF CUT PURPLE"

rollercoaster of emotions

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Jan 02, 2017 1:57 pm #240159

>cutting
>not pulsing
lmao git gud

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Mon Jan 02, 2017 1:59 pm #240160

Shoulda pulsed lad, less chance of failing that way.

Kraso · Post by **Kraso** » Mon Jan 02, 2017 5:03 pm #240199

Everyone knows it's always the wire within a shade of red.

Kjolstet · Post by **Kjolstet** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:23 am #240583

Bredden Butter says, "Come"
Aiden says, "How do i konw your not one of them"
Bredden Butter says, "I'm the CE retard"
Aiden says, "And"
Bredden Butter says, "CE is a head"
Bredden Butter says, "CE cant be rev"

Aiden says, "You can be the rev head"

kms

Post by **Armhulen** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:27 am #240585

Kjolstet wrote:Bredden Butter says, "Come"
Aiden says, "How do i konw your not one of them"
Bredden Butter says, "I'm the CE retard"
Aiden says, "And"
Bredden Butter says, "CE is a head"
Bredden Butter says, "CE cant be rev"

Aiden says, "You can be the rev head"

kms

this angers me in many ways

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:49 am #240591

Armhulen wrote:
Kjolstet wrote:Bredden Butter says, "Come"
Aiden says, "How do i konw your not one of them"
Bredden Butter says, "I'm the CE retard"
Aiden says, "And"
Bredden Butter says, "CE is a head"
Bredden Butter says, "CE cant be rev"

Aiden says, "You can be the rev head"

kms
this angers me in many ways

I know, right?

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:39 am #240629

Armhulen wrote:
Kjolstet wrote:Bredden Butter says, "Come"
Aiden says, "How do i konw your not one of them"
Bredden Butter says, "I'm the CE retard"
Aiden says, "And"
Bredden Butter says, "CE is a head"
Bredden Butter says, "CE cant be rev"

Aiden says, "You can be the rev head"

kms
this angers me in many ways

IS IT [MODE TYPE HERE]

Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:37 am

So this one is actually memorable because I have it memorized completely and it's one of my personal favorite Lauser moments. It requires some context.

It was a rev round and I was an assistant that got converted. I quickly built a baseball bat from wood in the library and saw the captain alone in the kitchen trying to cook. I hopped the desk and assured him I was a professional chef and announced a cooking show over the radio. I was completely bullshiting and improvising, and was planning on beating the captain over the head with the bat as soon as he started to even remotely believe it. I placed the bat on the table to calm his nerves and carefully made a bun. At this point a crowd had formed at the desk to watch my cooking show so the pressure was high. I started getting nervous once the warden and some sec officers showed up to watch the commotion and put the bun on top of the bat on the table, and declared the brilliant new invention: The home run baseball burger. The captain was confused and as he started to question my hastily improvised weapon, I quickly grabbed the bat and beat the shit out of him in front of most of sec and other various crew.

I narrowly survived a horrible beating from the captain's sword and sec's everything, and much later in the round this exchange happened

[Common] Lauser McMauligan says, "This shift was pretty long"
[Common] Lauser McMauligan says, "This shift hasbeen about an hour and five minutes"
[Common] Braids Grenades says, "AN HOUR AND FIVE MINUTES HE SAYS"
[Common] Braids Grenades says, "LIKE I'M GONNA TAKE THE TIME OF DAY FROM A GUY WHO THINKS A BASEBALL BAT ON A BUN IS A MEAL"

I laughed so hard I had to stop playing for a bit and during the same round I hastily created this: https://github.com/tgstation/tgstation/pull/19673

It's seriously one of my fondest memories of this game because I just can't deal with the absolute absurdity of a professional cooking show just being a guy putting a bat on a bun and beating up the confused onlooker
I love this game

delaron · Post by **delaron** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 4:14 pm #240704

PKPenguin321 wrote:So this one is actually memorable because I have it memorized completely and it's one of my personal favorite Lauser moments. It requires some context.

It was a rev round and I was an assistant that got converted. I quickly built a baseball bat from wood in the library and saw the captain alone in the kitchen trying to cook. I hopped the desk and assured him I was a professional chef and announced a cooking show over the radio. I was completely bullshiting and improvising, and was planning on beating the captain over the head with the bat as soon as he started to even remotely believe it. I placed the bat on the table to calm his nerves and carefully made a bun. At this point a crowd had formed at the desk to watch my cooking show so the pressure was high. I started getting nervous once the warden and some sec officers showed up to watch the commotion and put the bun on top of the bat on the table, and declared the brilliant new invention: The home run baseball burger. The captain was confused and as he started to question my hastily improvised weapon, I quickly grabbed the bat and beat the shit out of him in front of most of sec and other various crew.

I narrowly survived a horrible beating from the captain's sword and sec's everything, and much later in the round this exchange happened
[Common] Lauser McMauligan says, "This shift was pretty long"
[Common] Lauser McMauligan says, "This shift hasbeen about an hour and five minutes"
[Common] Braids Grenades says, "AN HOUR AND FIVE MINUTES HE SAYS"
[Common] Braids Grenades says, "LIKE I'M GONNA TAKE THE TIME OF DAY FROM A GUY WHO THINKS A BASEBALL BAT ON A BUN IS A MEAL"
I laughed so hard I had to stop playing for a bit and during the same round I hastily created this: https://github.com/tgstation/tgstation/pull/19673

It's seriously one of my fondest memories of this game because I just can't deal with the absolute absurdity of a professional cooking show just being a guy putting a bat on a bun and beating up the confused onlooker
I love this game

And now I get to hide my goofy ass smile at work as I read this shit. Stifled my laughter as a cough... Thanks!

confused rock · Wed Jan 04, 2017 8:23 pm

This is how to be funny on spacemens, not saying honk over and over

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 8:41 pm #240767

confused rock wrote:This is how to be funny on spacemens, not saying honk over and over

honk

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:06 pm #240773

DemonFiren wrote:
confused rock wrote:This is how to be funny on spacemens, not saying honk over and over
honk

honk

peoplearestrange · Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:25 pm

The Demon Of Ian barks, "THERE IS"
Security Officer Guess says, "Yer goons almost killed all of us"
The Demon Of Ian woofs, "A FIREBALL THROWING"
The Demon Of Ian woofs, "WASHINGMACHINE"
The Demon Of Ian barks, "AND YOU CALL ME"
The Demon Of Ian woofs, "A DEMON"
Security Officer Guess says, "What is this fucking station"

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 11:34 am #240962

ADMIN LOG: A singulo exists and a containment field has failed.
HELP: [REDACTED]/([REDACTED]) (?) (PP) (VV) (SM) (FLW) (TP) (REJT): This is my first time as engineer and I'm solo. What I'm doing right now isn't going to kill us all, is it?

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:22 pm #240968

Well, technically it won't.
Not necessarily.

BeeSting12 · Post by **BeeSting12** » Fri Jan 06, 2017 2:38 am #241235

Francis Gallyus says, "Yo sloanboy."
Edward Sloan says, "Yo"
Francis Gallyus says, "Toss me the training bomb."
Francis Gallyus says, "I'm bored."
...a few minutes later, Francis runs in and bolts down the already ticking training bomb.
Edward Sloan asks, "You put a real bomb core in, didn't you?"
Edward Sloan yells, "EVACUATE!!"
Edward Sloan says, "IT'S PROBABLY REAL- *BOOM*"

Saegrimr · Post by **Saegrimr** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:48 pm #242015

Theres like 3 threads I could post this but it's mostly the deadchat banter that's funny.

>Clown gets executed for slipping the HoS
>Get an ahelp
I may or may not have reordered the chat a bit for comedic purpose

Spoiler:

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:35 pm #242025

Daisan no pie-kudan

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:31 am #243488

grey adult slime (764) telepathically chirps, "It's a good house."
Marvin Ocelot says, "And you'e getting a foot up your ass if you don't get out."
grey adult slime (764) telepathically chirps, "No need to be hostile, sir."
grey adult slime (764) telepathically chirps, "Just let us live here, please. ."
Marvin Ocelot says, "You jello ass motherfucker."

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:57 pm #244274

CHAPLAIN PRAYER (to God): Arzion/(Colby Eckhardstein) (?) (PP) (VV) (SM) (FLW) (TP) (SC): The heretic who broke the lights stole my null rod, and I am quite salty right now because it is a hotkey-fag!
ADMIN LOG: SubtleMessage: Kevinz000/(Skylar Lineman) -> Arzion/(Colby Eckhardstein) : god uses hotkeys

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:19 pm #244280

>posting your own quotes
deadmin already

confused rock · Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:12 pm

DemonFiren wrote:>posting your own quotes
deadmin already

Post by **Armhulen** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 5:51 pm #244318

confused rock wrote:
DemonFiren wrote:>posting your own quotes
deadmin already

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:11 pm #244348

Armhulen wrote:
confused rock wrote:
DemonFiren wrote:>posting your own quotes
deadmin already

Yeah...that's the only reason he should be deadmined

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:06 am #244786

Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:28 am

kevinz000 wrote:

context: i told OOC to ahelp "MEKHI GET ON THE TABLE" if they wanted mekhi to fuck a table

Post by **Armhulen** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:14 pm #245003

ShadowDimentio wrote:Nobody plays sec because it's a thankless job. The only reason I play it is because I've managed to create a opioid-like drug extracted from the salty tears of dunked antags, and am addicted.

lifting shadow's forum ban was a good idea and you cannot deny

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:16 pm #246517

(F) DEAD: Jamal Jones says, "what is a power gamer"

Digdugxx · Post by **Digdugxx** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:35 pm #246532

Raymond Magor/Kyriece777 : I like my self some
WHISPER: Raymond Magor/Kyriece777 : furry ass
EMOTE: Kyriece777/(Raymond Magor) : <b>Raymond Magor</b> Penetrates Paperworks asshole with enthusiasm
!!

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:57 pm #246538

I now welcome the sweet embrace of death

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Sun Jan 22, 2017 8:36 am #246630

fuck myself

Post by **Armhulen** » Sun Jan 22, 2017 8:41 am #246633

Qbopper wrote:fuck myself

fuck you shitty admin

Tue Jan 24, 2017 5:57 am

kevinz000 wrote:(F) DEAD: Jamal Jones says, "what is a power gamer"

*unzips telearmor*
*flashbang falls out of pocket*

AnonymousNow · Tue Jan 24, 2017 3:36 pm

Smells-the-Food's body convulses a bit.
The defibrillator buzzes: Resuscitation failed - Patient's heart is missing.
(F) Raymond Magor says, "WHAT"
(F) Raymond Magor says, "REALLY"
(F) Raymond Magor yells, "SERIOUSLY!!"

So simple, but it took me by surprise and I cackled.

This fucking game.

confused rock · Tue Jan 24, 2017 7:41 pm

why did they have no heart

Grazyn · Post by **Grazyn** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 9:22 pm #247374