Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Thu Sep 15, 2016 1:39 am #211589

Bottom post of the previous page:

Pretty sure it's a problem with the code, we got 9 abductions which was 3 more than our goal so maybe it redtexts if you get more than what was asked of you.

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Thu Sep 15, 2016 10:00 am #211666

Buying gear sets you back apparently.

Not-Dorsidarf · Sun Jul 30, 2023 1:33 am

Yeah, you get 1 point for each properly done abduction, and lose 1 point for each thing purchased at the ayyy console.

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Thu Sep 15, 2016 3:51 pm #211705

I had to get a baton replacement and I think the scientist might have bought a baton when I wasn't there actually.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Fri Sep 23, 2016 3:17 pm #213249

>someone drops a literal fucking textbook on the fucking ai in laws (can somebody give me the source on this HARM CLUTSER A HARM CLUSTER B fuckery), feel immense regret over stealing the freeform board
>give the ai a law telling it to push the crew towards wicca
>IT ASKS THEM TO JOIN ITS SILICOVEN
>SILICOVEN CARRRL
>

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Sun Sep 25, 2016 4:11 pm #213605

IcePacks wrote:>SILICOVEN

Delicious wordplay.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:42 pm #213916

i've wanted to do this for forever

>chilling in the bar with my friends
>just kidding starting unrest in the bar with a bunch of random lizards
>bill defoe sitting closer to the door than normal (THIS IS IMPORTANT)
>start chucking the monkey at the bartender
>he gets irked and comes out with his shotgun
>can't get a bead on me through a posse of naked lizards
>comes out to shoot me
>grab bill
>get him in an aggressive grab
>bartender fires
>pivot bill in front of me
>he takes the bullet at the last second
>throw him at the bartender
>he connects, disarming the bartender of his gun
>pick up the bartender's gun
>pop out the shells and toss it aside like a badass
>just kidding run away and fire it wildly at him, striking bill again
>someone disarms me of the gun on my way out
>i don't fucking care i pulled off a HUMAN GUNSHOT COUNTER

true story, i shit you not, i am the real deal, you should have been there.

Mon Sep 26, 2016 10:46 pm

glad to hear human projectiles are being put to use

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Tue Sep 27, 2016 12:12 am #214001

i had this entire feature suggested and coded so i could do this ONE THING

SpaceInaba · Post by **SpaceInaba** » Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:02 pm #214628

>start my shift as warden
>ops declare war
>open up armory to sec team
>run to HoP's desk to get all access
>there's a fucking ash drake
>watch as the line goes up in flames
>get hit by a stray fireball and get crit
>dragged to medbay
>die anyways
>time passes, crew eventually kills the dragon
>ops show up in the aftermath
>the ops have autism
>the detective has the disk
>ops finally track down and kill the detective
>they can't seem to get the disk off him
>the detective says in dead chat "THE DISK IS IN MY HAT"
>dead chat erupts
>one of the ops gets critted by a spear to the head trying to find the disk
>dead chat erupts again
>minor syndicate victory but who cares it was funny
It was a good round for dead people

Post by **Shaps-cloud** » Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:46 pm #214633

SpaceInaba wrote:>start my shift as warden
>ops declare war
>open up armory to sec team
>run to HoP's desk to get all access
>there's a fucking ash drake
>watch as the line goes up in flames
>get hit by a stray fireball and get crit
>dragged to medbay
>die anyways
>time passes, crew eventually kills the dragon
>ops show up in the aftermath
>the ops have autism
>the detective has the disk
>ops finally track down and kill the detective
>they can't seem to get the disk off him
>the detective says in dead chat "THE DISK IS IN MY HAT"
>dead chat erupts
>one of the ops gets critted by a spear to the head trying to find the disk
>dead chat erupts again
>minor syndicate victory but who cares it was funny
It was a good round for dead people

Who would have thought that the safest and most secure place to hide a disk would be poking out of the band on a fedora?

TheColdTurtle · Wed Sep 28, 2016 1:55 pm

The fedora is a high tech device with a blues pace satchel inside though shaps. Jeez

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Wed Sep 28, 2016 3:45 pm #214672

Reminds me when hiding tiny items inside your butt was introduced on hippie station. You can guess where the captain hid the disk, and it left the ops completely stumped.

As a side note, this is why explosives are always a must for operatives. Disk inside of 35 cheesewheels? Just blow it up and find the new spawn location.

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Wed Sep 28, 2016 4:37 pm #214700

MimicFaux wrote:Reminds me when hiding tiny items inside your butt was introduced on hippie station. You can guess where the captain hid the disk, and it left the ops completely stumped.

As a side note, this is why explosives are always a must for operatives. Disk inside of 35 cheesewheels? Just blow it up and find the new spawn location.

New tactic for hiding the disk. Hide it in botany 5000~ stack of plants and watch as the OPS crash themselves trying to get it

Isane · Post by **Isane** » Wed Sep 28, 2016 9:56 pm #214871

Funny you should say that, since I was captain during a nuke op round recently and a peacekeeper borg hid the disk in the upload for me. I come back to get it after the shuttle arrived, and I find the borgie has put dozens of cookies on the same tile. Nearly crashed trying to pick it back up.

Wed Sep 28, 2016 10:22 pm

the best strat for hiding the disk is to have a service borg plop it onto his tray. if the tray module gets disabled he will drop it, but because borgs have no slowdown to damage or whatever and are completely spaceworthy/turret immune, he can just run around in the upload/AI core or throughout the station whilst bolting doors behind him.

EMPs absolutely wreck this strat though

Reyn · Post by **Reyn** » Sat Oct 01, 2016 4:41 am #215177

-Round starts. Netta stafford, Priestess of tiamat.
-Suddenly gravity fucks itself
-Engineering goes to investigate
-BLOB
-We fight it for a bit
-It ain't being stopped by nobody
-FUckit, Gonna go to the hotel
-Or not.
-I Have a plan
-"Ai, Disable the safties on the holodeck"
-Plasma fire sim due to the blob being close to holodeck via growth.
-BURN BITCH BURN
-I died in the end, but so did the blob. I opened a path for the strike team to finish it off.

callanrockslol · Sun Oct 02, 2016 2:23 pm

C-H4D Mk.3 states, "I can't believe it's not DIO is, infact, a wizard"
C-H4D Mk.3 states, "He's also a 「stand user」"

So yeah, thanks to Incoming we had sweet stand fights, I turned a few people into skeletons and tried to find them injectors and we had a bunch of fights. I sorta regret not recording it because it was pretty crazy.

Timestop with the antique laser is hilariously fun, do it if you ever get the chance. Though stun them first so they don't dodge out of the way like a badass.

I don't have the time to tell the full story but the log should do that fine.

One Seven One · Mon Oct 03, 2016 3:25 am

Start of an average day on a spacestation as a space botanist, I follow my usual routine of stealing plants and bothering chemistry for some Unstable Mutagen.
An engineer comes by and wants to have a... private chat. I tell them I'm busy tending to a plant that might die if I take my eyes off of it for more than a second.
But he remains there, chatting it up with a detective who wonders by. I suddenly noticed he's an engineer and could help me out by hacking my machines!
So I ask him to and he says "On one condition." and slips me the Head of Security's gun in my hands, I quickly stash it in my backpack before anyone could see it.
He wants me to hold on to it for a second saying it's a bit dangerous to be carrying 'hot product.' then hacks my machines. I tell him sure and he walks on out.
Later he comes by and I slip the gun in to a backpack and hand it to him. He commends me for keeping it safe for him and want to talk to me some more in the back room.
He says that he has another job if I'm interested. I tell him "Being a botanist isn't exactly my dream job, let's say I'm listening." he says good and tells me that I need to listen for the code phrase "Fat Bluejay" and then I need to pick up a dead drop. We go in to botany's maintenance tunnel and he takes a look around, he says this will suffice. He reminds me the phrase is Fat Bluejay and someone will knock on the window four times, if all goes to plan I might be looking at a better paying job. We go our separate ways and I continue working on my plants, I mix a few genes together to make apples produce Unstable Mutagen all in all, pretty successful. I sit and wait, chatting with my co-worker and an armless engineer that hung out with us when the shuttle docks at the station. Right at that moment I hear "Has anyone seen that Fat Bluejay near the brig?" and hurry to the back room, I hear four knocks on the window and open the door. On the other side was a dufflebag and a mysterious figure walking away, I take the bag inside and open it up. Inside was the Head of Security's gun, a welding mask, and a note. The note read "Logistics has been compromised, all drops are cold, do not attempt to contact." so now I'm sitting around with a gun and no orders with the shuttle docked. I rush my way on to the shuttle, sat, and waited.

Turns out he had more people involved in this:
>Allen, I had set up a whole supply chain from cargo through science
>But for some reason cargo stopped responding
>tfw your black market trade in questionable materials gets cucked by cockwork cultists

It's moments like this where I love the game and the players.

Firebat1234 · Post by **Firebat1234** » Mon Oct 03, 2016 6:38 am #215490

Now that sounds like some tasty roleplay.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Tue Oct 04, 2016 1:05 am #215618

>be clown
>slip people
>slip a doc with pda out
>nab pda
>decide to send heads threatening messages for HONK
>oh shit its a syndi uplink
>broadcast the owner with my clown megaphone
>give it to sec
>doc gets summarily arrested
>all in a day's HONK

Not-Dorsidarf · Tue Oct 04, 2016 8:47 am

Deitus wrote:>be clown
>slip people
>slip a doc with pda out
>nab pda
>decide to send heads threatening messages for HONK
>oh shit its a syndi uplink
>broadcast the owner with my clown megaphone
>give it to sec
>doc gets summarily arrested
>all in a day's HONK

>Not blackmailing the doctor into bringing you the head of the mime.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:40 pm #215690

yeah pretty weak you're just ratting

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Tue Oct 04, 2016 5:10 pm #215712

>expecting anything better from me of all people

you know better

the mime was a cunt that round though, i was dicking around in sec and got pda bombed so i ended up just suiciding since muh slips were gone

0/10 clown

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Wed Oct 05, 2016 2:45 am #215788

Deitus wrote:>expecting anything better from me of all people

you know better

the mime was a cunt that round though, i was dicking around in sec and got pda bombed so i ended up just suiciding since muh slips were gone

0/10 clown

Why not get a new PDA from the HoP with the Clown paintjob? The slip aspect is part of the paint IIRC.

ShadowDimentio · Wed Oct 05, 2016 2:50 am

Lie. I tried making a whole buncha clown PDAs once and they didn't slip shit. Coder probably got dunked once and removed it, or maybe it's a bug.

One Seven One · Wed Oct 05, 2016 4:13 am

>Rolling for scientist
>Roll captain
>Uh, okay.
>Mister Pepperoni the Librarian is waiting outside the bridge doors, asking that I order a pizza from Centcomm
>I tell him fuck no
>Borgy teleports in walks towards the door
>"Borg no!"
>He opens the door
>Mister Pepperoni runs around the bridge, demanding I order a pizza
>I shoot my disabler at him
>Well, attempt to
>I'm a shit shot
>Eventually the HoS comes in and he tosses him out
>"AI, open this door." demands Pepperoni
>"AI, ignore Mister Pepperoni." I say
>Mister Pepperoni is back on the bridge before I even know it
>But so is the HoS
>Pepperoni gets tossed out again
>I walk to the brig to check on things and head back to my office
>"Mister Peppernoi is annoying me" says the AI
>"He's in the captain's office."
>God
>Dammit
>I head in to my office and disabler him for a third time
>I Cuff him and take him to the brig
>Ask the HoS what we should do with 'em
>"Gulag, 250 points."
>"But I just wanted pizza!"
>"100 points still."
>We're right next to the door to gulag when suddenly the interrogation's room door opens!
>Out walks Central Command Officer Vannessa.
>What's that in her hands?
>IT'S A FUCKING PIZZA.
>We drag Mister Pepperoni in to interrogations and set his pizza down for him
>We uncuff him and walk out, he finally got what he wanted.
>BOOM
>"Nothing to see here." says Vannessa
>I head back to my office and message centcom "Say thanks to Vannessa for the pizza."
>"Mister Pepperoni says it was a real treat."
>So ends Mister Pepperoni
>Or so I thought
>A few more minutes later I get>Central Command Announcement "There's uh.. something strange in the captain's office."
>Fucking dammit
>I walk in to my office
>So does the HoS, the HoP, two Engineers
>Have you people ever heard of privacy?
>In my office I came face to face with..
>Mister Pepperoni's Ghost
>"GOD"
>"DAMMIT"
>"NO, NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN"
>"WE BLEW YOU UP ASSHAT"
>The 'ghost' has this fucking video on it

>The corner of my office starts.. glowing?
>Oh.. fuck.
>IN COMES THE SYNDICATE DROP POD
>GUNS ARE FIRING AT US
>EVERYONE WITH A GUN TRIES TO SHOOT 'EM
>DOESN'T DO SHIT
>OUT COMES AN OP
>WE ALL DIE
>Ops come in and grab the disk
>The one with the disk doesn't even know how to switch their suit
>They die and blow up from space damage
>The disk relocated because of it
>The disk ends up in xeno
>Admins start playing another PIZZA song
>Admins reskin the disk in to a green pizza
>OPs finally get the disk
>Station is gone in minutes
>All because I wouldn't order a pizza

10/10 I had fun and so did everyone watching.
http://maximalismmusic.com/track/delivery-order-song

killerx09 · Post by **killerx09** » Wed Oct 05, 2016 8:43 am #215827

IIRC the Clown Cartridge makes the PDA slippery.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Wed Oct 05, 2016 7:38 pm #215915

One Seven One wrote:>PEEZUH

i was the CE that round, i had no idea what the fuck was going on since i was trying to use temperature pipes to cool down plasma. just as i finished the station blew, so fuck me i guess

anyway
>tator cargo tech
>admiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins
>"what"
>lemme trade for ninja
>admin gives me shapeshift spell, tells me to go ED bot
>go around enforcing THALAW and catching CRIMINAL SCUM
>admin makes my taser rapid-fire
>the yellow bolt's wrath fills the halls, literal streams of taser shots
>clown trespassing in kitchen? CRIMINAL SCUM
>jani not using wet floor signs? CRIMINAL SCUM
>push fight in hallway? CRIMINAL SCUM
>admins rename me "Shitcurity Prime"
>changes my taser to the projectile launched by the banana staff
>still rapid fire
>streams of bananas everywhere
>nobody is safe from my conquest
>CMO who ran off with the clown i caught earlier comes into view
>knock her down with a good long stream of bananas
>CRIMINAL SCUM REEEEEEEEE
>drop her off at brig
>she eventually comes back with hulk and a stick up her ass
>tries to kill me
>[air horns intensify]
>drop off at brig again
>keep catching CRIMINAL SCUM when some guy hits me with bluespace tomato
>cant move now, must be a bug
>change back to tech, then back to ED bot
>only normal one now
>admins too busy with stem cell homework to give back powers
>call them a nerd
>CMO thinks they killed me, i tase her as she's shouting her triumph over comms in the hall
>she gets away though
>comes back soon after with hulk
>taser dont do shit
>baton dont do shit
>slowly move to sec with the cmo pummeling me the whole time, losing health at about 7% per hit
>she actually follows me in
>warden, hos, and an officer spring into action
>disable her and cuff
>walk off and board shuttle
>JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED

good round overall, banana staff in armory when?

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Fri Oct 07, 2016 6:41 am #216324

Spoiler:

.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Oct 07, 2016 9:34 am #216331

>like rin does
>wanting to imitate literal cancer

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Fri Oct 07, 2016 10:34 am #216338

DemonFiren wrote:>like rin does
>wanting to imitate literal cancer

I can say most people would want the robustness.

Isane · Post by **Isane** » Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:04 pm #216384

Alipheese wrote:
DemonFiren wrote:>like rin does
>wanting to imitate literal cancer
I can say most people would want the robustness.

You're confusing "robustness" for some of the worst powergaming anyone has ever seen.

TheColdTurtle · Fri Oct 07, 2016 3:39 pm

Fucking hell I could not read that shit at all aliph

MrEousTranger · Sat Oct 08, 2016 10:55 pm

played a round after not playing for ages
I acted kind of awkwardly cuz I've been on the inside 2 long
but overall a good fun RP segment.
It was an interrogation.

Donovan Zaun says, "This guy's had a radioactive microlaser"
Kyp Astar asks, "Officer?"
Baylee Kifer says, "I was given it"
Kyp Astar asks, "Shall i interrogate?"
Donovan Zaun tries to remove Baylee Kifer's chemistry backpack.
Melanie Flowers says, "Interrogate him.."
Baylee Kifer says, "My friend gave it to me"
Melanie Flowers says, "Kel and I will watch"
Melanie Flowers puts the health analyzer into the security backpack.
Kel Thuzad says, "Wait"
Kyp Astar has grabbed Baylee Kifer passively!
Melanie Flowers tries to remove Baylee Kifer's bio suit.
Baylee Kifer says, "SInce all the others were gone"
Kel Thuzad says, "Who is your friend"
Baylee Kifer says, "Other chemist"
Kyp Astar buckles Baylee Kifer to the chair!
Kyp Astar says, "One at a time please"
Kel Thuzad says, "The CMO didnt say this guy microlasered her, though, it was someone neamed reuben..."
Baylee Kifer says, "Please let me go"
Kyp Astar says, "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR"
Kel Thuzad says, "Named, rather."
Melanie Flowers has analyzed Kel Thuzad's vitals.
Baylee Kifer says, "Ruebun gave me the analyzer"
Melanie Flowers has analyzed Melanie Flowers's vitals.
Kyp Astar says, "Rueben"
Melanie Flowers whispers, "I*&****#39** off."
Kyp Astar asks, "Really that simple?"
Kel Thuzad says, "Hmm"
Kel Thuzad says, "I dunno if I can trust that."
Baylee Kifer says, "He gave it to me since I wanted one"
Kyp Astar says, "This guys a fucking pussy"
Kel Thuzad whispers, "***l* *** ** m*** t* ** f** ****"
Baylee Kifer says, "Rueben also shot the CMO"
Kyp Astar says, "Look for this rueben fellow"
Kel Thuzad whispers, "*** *c***** l*s** **"
Melanie Flowers whispers, "**h* I****;#**** *** **** ***n*"
Kyp Astar says, "I think ive heard of him"
Kel Thuzad says, "What the fuck"
Kel Thuzad says, "Endless security"
Kel Thuzad says, "What is going on"
[Security] Melanie Flowers says, "Find this Reuben guy."
Baylee Kifer says, "Please let me go"
Kyp Astar asks, "Ruben gave you the object?"
Kel Thuzad fires the meat hook!
Baylee Kifer says, "Yes"
Kel Thuzad fires the meat hook!
Kel Thuzad fires the meat hook!
Kyp Astar says, "Where did you last see him"
Kel Thuzad has thrown the meat hook.
Melanie Flowers says, "Reuben is a chemist."
Baylee Kifer says, "In chemistry"
Kyp Astar asks, "Was he a chemist?"
Baylee Kifer says, "Yes"
Baylee Kifer says, "Please let me go"
Melanie Flowers tries to remove Baylee Kifer's bio suit.
Kyp Astar asks, "Was his last name nash?"
Melanie Flowers tries to remove Baylee Kifer's Baylee Kifer's ID Card (Chemist).
Melanie Flowers tries to remove Baylee Kifer's combat gloves.
Baylee Kifer says, "Think so"
Kel Thuzad says, "WHAO"
Kel Thuzad yells, "COMBAT GLOVES!!"
Kyp Astar says, "... let him go"
Baylee Kifer asks, "What?"
Kel Thuzad says, "THATS PRETTY ILLEGAL"
Baylee Kifer asks, "It is?"
Kyp Astar says, "OOOHOOOO"
Melanie Flowers says, "So Baylee, tell me."
Baylee Kifer says, "Some miner explored some vessel"
Melanie Flowers asks, "Where did you get your gloves?"
Melanie Flowers shows you: Baylee Kifer's ID Card (Chemist).
You are unable to equip that!
Kel Thuzad says, "God damnit this guy has all the covers"
Baylee Kifer says, "A miner gave it to me in exchange for acid"
Melanie Flowers says, "Hmmm."
Kyp Astar asks, "Drug acid or actual burning acid?"
Baylee Kifer says, "I have a beaker of acid in my backpack to prove it"
Melanie Flowers says, "I can understand having one item, but not two."
Kyp Astar says, "Cuz this sounds sketch as FUCK"
Kyp Astar asks, "Shall I be a little more violent with him?"
Baylee Kifer says, "Look in my backpack, the acid is there."
Melanie Flowers whispers, "Good cop, bad cop"
Melanie Flowers says, "Look, Baylee, we wanna get ya out of here as soon as we can."
Baylee Kifer says, "I do too"
Kel Thuzad says, "If you can manage this in 2 minutes"
Melanie Flowers says, "But you have to be truthful."
Kel Thuzad says, "Good luck"
Baylee Kifer exclaims, "HEY!"
Baylee Kifer exclaims, "Stop that!"
Kyp Astar says, "If you don't give us the info thought buddy, shits going to get real real bad"
Melanie Flowers says, "If you tell us the truth, you can get out of here before he stops."
Melanie Flowers points to Kyp Astar
Melanie Flowers says, "He might cut off a limb or two."
Baylee Kifer says, "Ok, I already told you the truth"
Baylee Kifer says, "I was given everything"
Kyp Astar says, "I have a weekly limit for amputation"
Baylee Kifer says, "MIner, and chemist"
Kyp Astar says, "I have yet to use any of them yet so I'm free to remove all limbs if I please"
Baylee Kifer says, "Miner wanted acid, and chemist wanted me dead."
Melanie Flowers says, "Well, I guess we'll keep you detained here until an officer catches the man who got you the items."
Melanie Flowers says, "Arrest Reuben for enemy of corp."

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 4:40 am #217617

the round i never expected to win in a million years:

>new round
>you are the operative!
>okay cool
>all walls and windows are spinning due to admin memery in pre-round lobby
>get named spinner
>ask boss for war
>he says no
>*sad
>wall spinning is giving me a headache
>joke about how high i am
>admins make me high in-game
>reeee
>grab basic gear from lockers, donate tc
>one dude wont donate
>three people yelling at him to donate
>one other dumbass shoots him once with the pistol
>this can only get better
>the two sax around a bit, ends with standoff outside of syndi bathroom
>boss and i gather to watch
>admin spawns in and asks who the cunt is
>before anyone can explain someone lit themselves on fire and ran into everyone else, didnt see since i was too busy running
>admin gibs the non-donator dude
>okay nice i guess
>gives us another op and then makes us cat people cuz ????????????????
>ok lets try this again
>donate tc
>...new op isnt donating
>three people yelling to donate again
>think she might be braindead, no response
>nope she just bought a pet potion and other shit
>at this point im resigned to lose, legit consider suicide but decide that it wouldn't be worth it
>boss gives me and other op the tc division
>get my usual setup (macro implant and a gun, this time a bulldog) and walk into shuttle
>grab oxygen and fill it up, then go get suit
>the now-sentient cayanne is destroying windows, tables, chairs, windoors, and even the shuttle turrets because ?????????????
>tell it to knock it the fuck off
>"sorry i was just excited"
>.
>got suit, go to fill jetpack in tank
>another op standing by it, its opened and spewing air everywhere
>dude, what the fuck
>"it wasnt me, it was you"
>my smile and optimism: gone
>just buckle up and wait
>op saying something about pincer formation
>k bud
>"so where do we la-"
>"HERE WE GO"
>shuttle takes off
>panic at first but remember pinpointer
>tell other ops who are panicking but they dont listen
>landed just outside xeno (it was metastation)
>take one step out
>"OPS OUTSIDE XENO"
>yeahdidntseethatcoming.squidward
>fly to escape
>just walk in, figure i'll meme a bit before i macro, shoot one or two people as i head in
>wait why is the pinpointer green
>cap on segway outside science main doors
>and a few greyshirts and an officer around him
>frantic clicking
>cap falls down
>officer tries to tase but i somehow dodge
>snatch the body and bugger off out of escape
>three or four people chasing me, trying to push me
>rng on my side for once, keep running
>other ops just now arriving, one has thrown a good three grenades worth of viscerators in escape
>stops most attackers
>one guy somehow makes it through and keeps trying to push me
>rng luck holds out, i get out airlock and fumble around a bit before i get my jetpack back on
>i'm going the distance, im going for speed
>get body on shuttle, call other ops back
>"DONT EVEN ARM IT YET MAN WE WANNA KILL"
>im out of faces to have for this round
>as i get the disk off the body a peacekeeper borg rolls in
>cayanne's "excitement" from earlier destroyed the nuke windoor
>fuck its gonna try and take it
>fumble with shotgun--
>"do you have any orders human?"
>wait am i still human under law one?
>play along and begin asking it to clone the captain
>states its laws as syndi set
>did one of the others do that?
>whatever it guess its nice
>gives me a few cookies which i gratefully eat up
>have it heal me a bit since i was dumb and forgot to change off combat mode for a few seconds after my airlock escape
>grab nuke
>okay borg, lets roll
>*ping
>we head over to the solars east of xeno
>start taking out c4 to breach in but borg opens it for me
>oh right, thanks borgie
>walk in to see hardsuit engineer
>OH SHIT HEoh wait braindead
>kill him just to be sure
>put nuke down and--
>whoops forgot disk on shuttle
>swoop back real quick and grab it, go activate nuke as borg offers cookies to the dead engi
>other ops were long since robusted, crew confused on how delta was reached
>fly back to shuttle, make sure and wait for borg before launching
>land back at base a few seconds before boom
>borg and i enjoy some more cookies until round end

i seriously would never EVER have though that i would win that round, it was pure luck that i didnt get shit on like usual. borg was 10/10 bro too.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 8:44 am #217628

Atom smiled on this one.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 11:40 pm #217780

I cannot say it enough, I am pretty sure Rin will stop being such a fucking tumor of a player when you lot stop feeding them the attention they crave

Isane · Post by **Isane** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 2:32 am #217814

Good thing most admins and nearly all players don't think rhyming someone's name is the hottest shit since sliced bread, because I'm pretty sure they're finally perma'd.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 3:01 am #217819

Isane wrote:Good thing most admins and nearly all players don't think rhyming someone's name is the hottest shit since sliced bread, because I'm pretty sure they're finally perma'd.

This is the true story of awesome

confused rock · Wed Oct 12, 2016 1:14 pm

who the hell is rin

TheColdTurtle · Wed Oct 12, 2016 1:56 pm

Someone who is hunting for (You)s but in ss13

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 3:49 pm #217918

>late night Bagil round
>wizard round
>guns
>wizard kills someone
>as Captain invite them to my office to talk about their objectives.
>call ai in
>we sit at my table and talk about what they want and stuff
>talk for awhile and he disrobes himself before me and the ai
>as he's talking
>pullout my silenced stretching and shoot him in the face over the table, killing him with the entire clip
>feels good man

The unloved rock wrote:who the hell is rin

Pretty much Bryce but for Bagil? I'm not a sybil man.

Wyzack wrote:
Isane wrote:Good thing most admins and nearly all players don't think rhyming someone's name is the hottest shit since sliced bread, because I'm pretty sure they're finally perma'd.
This is the true story of awesome

Kinda weird since they were given the perma while they already had a current ban. Couldn't even defend themself.

Edit: dear god do I hate my phone

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 4:08 pm #217925

Dude, don't slander the Pax.

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 4:09 pm #217926

DemonFiren wrote:Dude, don't slander the Pax.

I dunno who pax is personally. Just hes a famous grayshit

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 8:47 pm #217987

Alipheese wrote:>late night Bagil round
>wizard round
>guns
>wizard kills someone
>as Captain invite them to my office to talk about their objectives.
>call ai in
>we sit at my table and talk about what they want and stuff
>talk for awhile and he disrobes himself before me and the ai
>as he's talking
>pullout my silenced stretching and shoot him in the face over the table, killing him with the entire clip
>feels good man

Literally scum.

Wed Oct 12, 2016 9:25 pm

yeah seriously friendly wizards should die

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 10:19 pm #218011

> Be HOS
> capture 'TEH GRIFFON'
> cap wants an arm.
> meme time!
> Go bladerunner, replace the traitors arms with chainsaws, implant him and track him.
> FLY MY BIRD OF PREY!
> Grieffon murders the 'traitor' clown.
> Display the body for show in my brig.
> Griffon kills two more 'traitors' before my security team gets too uneasy and captures him again.
> Sec leave him in perma. Fly free my bird of prey.
> clown bomb in bar, grieffon slaughters dozens, gets critted five times and comes back kicking each go.
> Post round: "were any of those actually tators Griefon?"
> LOL NO.

Probably gonna eat a ban for doing that then.

Thu Oct 13, 2016 10:30 pm

>janitor on dream
>roundstart cultist!
>get a tome from my paper and call to my brothers
>we've got a scientist making bombs like an autist, the clown, and some guys who say they're new and will lay low
>flex my muscles as i know i am about to have to carry this cult
>find the clown as he leaves the theater and chase him down since he's running from me like an autist
>clown as it turns out is fairly new too
>ask for his crayon and draw 4000 fake runes in the hallway sorta near medbay
>place a real conversion rune in the middle some place
>clown may be shit in general but he knows how to stand next to a rune and put a banana peel on the ground.
>slip and convert some assistants
>slip and convert some doctors
>slip and convert some botanists
>slip and convert some engineers
>we're now like 15~ cultists strong five minutes into the round
>HoS steps out of maint really near the rune and sees a tome on the floor from a recent convert
>slips on clown PDA, dragged onto rune and sacrificed
>sec officer steps in as this happens and primes a flashbang then runs in...
>but he runs straight on top of the rune and gets sacrificed as well
>more converts etc until the chaplain (our sacrifice target) walks in by random chance and is sacrificed
>now all we need to do is make narsie
>make juggernauts with the HoS and sec officer soul stones and shells from my paper
>scribe a teleport rune with keyword NarSie then scribe a narsie rune in the morgue in plain view from the hall
>we summon narsie before the crew can even react

so yeah tldr: crayon runes are the freshest cult meta

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Sat Oct 15, 2016 8:51 pm #218856

>spawn as headmin
>space myself so the plebians don't throw temper tantrums
>one such plebian, durkel, is attempting to play wizard, pathetic stunted creature as he is, i take pity on him
>if you do five good deeds i'll reward you thusly
>asay: just kidding i'm gonna bsa the fuck outta this chode lmao
>he starts summoning apprentices
>deadmin self and become one
>mindswap and knock
>oh god
>get to the station
>infiltrate security
>run around brutalizing the crew
>ai: I THINK SEC MIGHT BE ROGUE
>sec: shut up ai law go fuck yourself
>captain spawns
>mindswap him
>security is staffed exclusively by wizards
>kill almost everyone else on the station
>i mindswap with the ai to better assist my wizard kin and also because the ai is pure trash
>success
>

Kel · Post by **Kel** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:29 am #219147

Best thing I witnessed in quite awhile.

>Be assistant on metastation
>Fuck around for a good 10 minutes doing nothing
>Head down the escape hallway
>See Cayenne drag a soap into the captain and slip him
>Cayenne bites him to death and drags him off into space
>Stand around dumbfounded at the legendary meme I just witnessed
>Delta Alert
>Explode