Stories of rage, tears and regret

Reyn · Post by **Reyn** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 12:04 am #206958

Bottom post of the previous page:

The unloved rock wrote:why would you do that an infinitely better law would be, on regular asimov,
4. (beesting) is not human. fucking whip his shit.
instead of "protect and serve those spiders"

Heil spider

Reyn · Post by **Reyn** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 12:06 am #206960

DemonFiren wrote:Wow, vegetarian dragons.
This is absolutely haram.

HARAMBE

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 8:08 pm #207145

> Join late
> Get bored, because nothing is happening, suicide
> Do you want to be a larva?
> Hell yeah.
> Dash to virology
> On my way there, see that crew has hulks, mechs, guns, TC, autocloning and other shit.
> Well, maybe I'll make it?
> Slash cameras, slash the APC, lay eggs
> One of the crew members with autism eyes sees my eggs through the wall
> Five seconds later a lynch mob with flamethrowers, crossbows, hulks and combat shotguns gathers
> Manage to disarm Smells and get a few good hits on him
> Manage to make the clown retreat
> Die due to being a slow ass nigga with a huge sprite
> Infected monkeys get burned by the clown with a flamethrower
> Well, here goes my legacy.
> Wait, two larvas somehow survived the fire and ventcrawled to science
> Is it a comeback I smell
> Host restarts the server.

Round ending antag my ass

Mon Aug 29, 2016 9:47 pm

>genetics has powers that likely include xray
>building your xeno base anywhere even remotely near medbay

you were asking for it tbh

Slignerd · Post by **Slignerd** » Mon Aug 29, 2016 10:01 pm #207183

InsaneHyena wrote:> One of the crew members with autism eyes sees my eggs through the wall

That was me. I was the Captain, fresh off getting telekinesis and X-ray from Genetics, with a nightvision security HUD.

It was a good round, but it's a shame it had to be shut down like that.

Reyn · Post by **Reyn** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:49 pm #207420

>We get abductors
>We decide to steal the spare id as there is no captain
>I'm the agent by the way
>We do some tests
>Test on the clown, we get spiders
>Spider on mothership!
>I get beamed down as soon as the spider grows up
>Spider murders scientist
>I Call in the snake snake SNAAAAAAAAAAAKE style
[youtube]Vu3FEmNa65c[/youtube]
Decide to call for nuking, to leave no witnesses for our fuckup, as i have the spare
Go to armoury to hide
Get murdered by spiders, after releasing maint access limitations
[youtube]4agDHw4NuLk[/youtube]

10/10 would team up with pacifist scientist again.

In the intermission next round, people complained about how shit we were. IF ONLY THEY KNEW

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 5:55 pm #207422

> You're a doctor!
> You're a traitor!
> Kill everybody and escape alone.
> Buy emag, steal a chem dispenser, make a shitload of meme powder and load my backpack with it.
> I also need something to finish people off with, something that doesn't leave blood
> Ebow is expensive, but it will do
> An assistant greytided into medbay and is stealing brutekits
> Naughty-naughty
> Shoot his ass, drag the body to the maint, finish him off with an ebow
> Smells yells "SOMEBODY KILLING A GUY IN MEDBAY MAINT WITH AN EBOW"
> How could he...
> "I saw him when I was disposal riding!"
> Welp, fuck. Sloppily hide his body, run.
> Return to medbay to make more toxin, sec brought assistant's body for cloning.
> Hide it instead.
> I'm gonna need that captain access, luckily the captain is hanging in RnD and doing science.
> Find the moment when she's alone and heading to genetics, shoot her with meme syringe with no witnesses
> Wild RD appears!
> Manage to load a second syringe and shoot him before he disarms me or calls for help
> Whew, that was close
> "EBOW SOUNDS IN ROBOTICS MAINT"
> Are you fucking kidding me?!
> Shoot RD a few times with ebow, drag the captain with me shooting her all the way.
> Steal her ID card, hide the body
> I'm pretty sure I've killed a few more people, because I ran out of syringes so fast
> Need to get more
> Get back to medical
> As if on cue, scientist brings RD body
> Try to drag him off for "cloning", but CMO insists on defibbing it
> Works for me. While he's busy defibbing, I'll pull out my syringe gun...
> ...and he decides to move to cloning exactly when I do it!
> My syringe misses
> He stops for a few moments, trying to comprehend what happened
> I try to load a second syringe
> He runs
> No, you don't!
> Shoot him in the back a few times
> He dodges
> Switch to ebow.
> He occupies a choke point with his baton, we play cat and mouse for around a minute, trying to get 0HKO on each other, but eventually I decide to retreat.
> Because "GUY WITH EBOW IN MEDICAL
> Have just one syringe of meme chem.
> Too risky to get more.
> Eh, it's not THAT bad. I have all access, I can plasma flood the station or...
> ...release tesla?
> Steal hardsuit, steal gloves, kill CE, cut the wires.
> An engineer, so brave and so stout, enters!
> Shoot his ass with ebow, before he calls for help
> He manages to call for help.
> Try to space the body
> Carps
> Have nothing to fight them with
> Manage to retreat.
> Tim Ebow loudly proclaims his desire to arrive to the crime scene and smite my ass
> My diabolical plan is about to commence, because I hear tesla sounds
> Yes, Tim, please come here. I'm waiting in this locker rig-
> Explosion
> Explosion
> Crit
> Dead
> I watch in disbelief as the goofball blows the entire station up and turns people to cinder
> Apparently, it got changed while I was on a pilgrimage to Jewstan
> tfw cucked yourself

Xhagi · Post by **Xhagi** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 6:44 pm #207432

Hi, I was that CMO.

That stand off in Chemistry was tense as fuck, I enjoyed that. Still don't know how I dodged all those syringes, how many did you have?

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Tue Aug 30, 2016 7:44 pm #207443

Around six, I think.

Durkel · Post by **Durkel** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 5:02 am #207558

>fighting nuke ops
>have one downed before he could prime his viscerator grenade.
>drone rolls up
>tasers me
>starts beating me with a shield
>get up and kill the drone
>op explodes and I'm hurt and slow
>grenade that is now on fire goes off
>viscerators kills me

FUCKING DRONES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 12:55 pm #207645

Durkel wrote:>fighting nuke ops
>have one downed before he could prime his viscerator grenade.
>drone rolls up
>tasers me
>starts beating me with a shield
>get up and kill the drone
>op explodes and I'm hurt and slow
>grenade that is now on fire goes off
>viscerators kills me

FUCKING DRONES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Sure you ahelped with the drone # when it happened. That's a hard and fast drone ban

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 5:53 pm #207688

Drone players have been shitting up Basil something fierce recently , maybe it's the hub cancerthat the server has been diagnosed with. I saw five reported andblown up in a single thirty minute round.

Saegrimr · Post by **Saegrimr** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 6:12 pm #207692

IT FUCKING WORKED
EXCEPT MEMEON GAS JUST STRAIGHT FUCKING DISAPPEARS INTO NOTHING
IT WAS SAFE
BUT I NEEDED INFINITE GAS

THIS IS FUCKING REVENGE FOR THAT FLAMETHROWER BAN, ISN'T IT GOOFBALL

Also add your meme gas to the list of things scrubbers can filter, its BZ all over again which also shouldn't fucking exist.

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 6:14 pm #207693

Did they port freon.

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 8:55 pm #207724

> Blob
> Fight them
> Force cargo to buy combat shotguns, because those mouth breathing idiots did not order them
> We get xrays
> Some retard miner almost kills me, because he thinks I have firing pins and am withholding them from the crew
> Kill first blob without a problem
> Begin killing second blob
> Have difficulties, because some SPECIAL INDIVIDUAL decided to freeze everything with freon, so we're slipping and can't get in a good firing position
> DELTA ALERT
> Wait, what?!
> Mouthbreathing captain decided to nuke us for no reason
> BUT WE ARE WINNING
> Almost kill blob...
> Boom

THIS WAS FUCKING BULLSHIT

Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:29 pm

Saegrimr wrote:IT FUCKING WORKED
EXCEPT MEMEON GAS JUST STRAIGHT FUCKING DISAPPEARS INTO NOTHING
IT WAS SAFE
BUT I NEEDED INFINITE GAS

>using one emitter
>using one rad collector
>using canisters to pump gas in
absolutely disgusting

MrAlphonzo · Post by **MrAlphonzo** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:38 pm #207743

>Be war op
>Get kitted out
>Head to tcomms after it was blown up
>Everybody and their mother shows up
>Cayenne has my back
>"Just gonna knock out this one guy and fall back for no-"
>Out of nowhere, a pAI in a mulebot picks me up, making me drop my double bladed energy sword

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 9:44 pm #207747

Was Cayenne this round.

> In the end, only three ops are alive.
> One of them infiltrates the bridge and activates macrobomb
> Unlike every other use of macrobomb on my memory, this one actually kills a lot of people.
> But not the captain - he's simply knocked unconcious and set on fire
> Another op runs to the captain, grabs his body and drags him towards engineering.
> Captain's flaming body sets plasma on fire, which, in turn, sets the operative on fire
> Captain suddenly wakes up and runs
> The operative runs in the opposite direction
> They both die a few seconds later
> Five minutes until the shuttle
> Okay, this is the point where someone follows their pinpointer, finds the disk and loots it, right? Either the remaining operative or HoS? Right?
> Wrong.
> The last operative fucks around in science maint for what feels like forever
> THE DISK IS UNGUARDED AND JUST LYING ON THE GROUND, THE CAPTAIN IS DEAD, GO AND TAKE IT
> WHAT ARE YOU DOING
> WHY ARE YOU BREAKING INTO TOXINS
> JUST GET THE DISK
> REEEEEEEE
> WHAT ARE YOU DOING
> Shuttle arrives
> The last operative drags a freon canister to the shuttle
> JUST GET THE FUCKING DISK, IT'S JUST LYING THERE, YOU STILL HAVE TIME
> He enters the shuttle, opens the canister, fails to kill anyone and dies himself.
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:35 pm

@saegrimr

this is my supermatter setup, never ran it on live servers but it's pretty good.

not shown in this image but you have to place your own wires for the rad collectors and hook them into the turbine line, and i also wired the turbine line directly into the main grid. the emitter also needs a knot to sit on which can also go on the turbine line. also i replaced the pumps under the rad collectors with volumetric ones.

The mix chamber has the freezer hooked into it and uses a volume pump:

I used CO2 for this setup since it's the one that stops fires(?) and less fire means less heat means less exploding crystals. Either way pretty much anything but plasma should work fairly well for this.

This one's pretty good because
1. you don't have to do any piping, atmos has pipes to turbine at roundstart
2. Plasma that the shard shoots out can create pressure (and occasionally burn) which powers the turbine for double power
3. has a built in venting system and an emergency venting system (the vent pipe and the blast doors, respectively)

hardest part of the setup is basically just getting the shard in there in the first place without melting yourself. i have two strategies:
1. vent out the little turbine area and open the turbine exterior airlock so no space wind will get you
2. get an RCD so you can place the grilles from an adjacent tile (not actually needed if you unscrew a grille you make with rods then drag it, but RCD is still more convenient)
3. open the auxiliary vent blast door, make sure to keep it open
4a. have another engineer cycle the doors for you and enter from the top. when you're under the open Turbine Exterior Airlock, place the left grille. then walk to where the right grille will go and stop dragging the supermatter, and place the right grille. exit via the auxiliary blast door and come back around via space.
4b. requires a hand teleporter. enter via space through the auxiliary blast door. stand where the supermatter will go and place the right grille (requires RCD since it goes on top of the supermatter). move to where the left grille will go, stop dragging the supermatter, and place the left grille. hand teleport out.

i was able to make a little over 200,000W with this setup and once it's up it's pretty much self sustaining

Saegrimr · Post by **Saegrimr** » Wed Aug 31, 2016 10:58 pm #207775

That's actually pretty fucking smart using the excess to fuel the turbine.
I usually just space cool a can of N2O on an infinite loop like I have in my shot and it works great, I just wanted to test if Freon would get the same results. GUESS FUCKING NOT. As for the shard, just set the crate where you want it and turn the emitter on and wait for it to destroy the crate. Safest way of getting shit in there even if you have to wait another 30 seconds or so for the crate to break.

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Thu Sep 01, 2016 5:27 pm #207945

>Miner
>Two miners, probably new since their names are new to me.
>Grab abandoned crate, prepare to melt it
>One of the newbloods asks what is it, I brush him off
>Blows up the crate
>Are you fucking kidding me
>Knock him out
>Try to think of a fitting, non lethal punishment
>Stab out his eyes, we have a HoP so throw his PDA and ID into lava so he can take some time to learn not to blow up someone else's stuff
>Bwoinked in the middle of fighting two goliaths.
>"Why you gotta be so cruel"
>Explain, admin later says he'll drop it because of "reasons"
>The fuck
>Round end chucklefuck was a traitor

Absolutely livid at the end of this.

confused rock · Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:17 pm

yea I'm pretty mad the admin didn't care just because he was a traitor all he did was blow up the crate I mean i'd beat him up but if he didn't know what the crate was how would he know it exploded seriously fuck you

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Thu Sep 01, 2016 8:26 pm #207990

The unloved rock wrote:yea I'm pretty mad the admin didn't care just because he was a traitor all he did was blow up the crate I mean i'd beat him up but if he didn't know what the crate was how would he know it exploded seriously fuck you

I'm mad he even bwoinked me at all.

Thu Sep 01, 2016 11:14 pm

D&B wrote:>Miner
>Two miners, probably new since their names are new to me.
>Grab abandoned crate, prepare to melt it
>One of the newbloods asks what is it, I brush him off
>Blows up the crate
>Are you fucking kidding me
>Knock him out
>Try to think of a fitting, non lethal punishment
>Stab out his eyes, we have a HoP so throw his PDA and ID into lava so he can take some time to learn not to blow up someone else's stuff
>Bwoinked in the middle of fighting two goliaths.
>"Why you gotta be so cruel"
>Explain, admin later says he'll drop it because of "reasons"
>The fuck
>Round end chucklefuck was a traitor

Absolutely livid at the end of this.

youre a faggot

TechnoAlchemist · Thu Sep 01, 2016 11:29 pm

alt clicking the crate blows it up kind of a dick move to fuck them up for what was likely not even something good

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Sep 01, 2016 11:37 pm #208060

IRL VERSION

>late-ish night
>shitting up spessmen
>some guy from my dorm walks in
>"hey man, whatcha playing?"
>"u-uh, space station 13..."
>"never heard of it, is it fun?"
>try to explain a little about the game, fail miserably
>"huh, neat"
>he leans in to look closer at the game
>sees window/station name
>"...'ass blast usa turn up fucking suit sensors?'"
>"..."
>"..."
>we both laugh kind of awkwardly
>he leaves

THIS IS YOU GUYS' FUCKING FAULT THIS IS WHY I DONT GO OUTSIDE

i guess it wasnt something like "ligger erp detention center 69" or something though but still

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Sep 02, 2016 3:57 am #208139

Could have been worse. Someone once put WGW as the station name back when it wasn't limited.

Screemonster · Fri Sep 02, 2016 4:13 am

please tell me it was on the hub at the time, I remember Kor saying he got the bee movie script on there

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Fri Sep 02, 2016 4:25 am #208148

MimicFaux wrote:Could have been worse. Someone once put WGW as the station name back when it wasn't limited.

>tfw i was on when that happened
>tfw i started that meme by putting the navy seal copypasta as the name

AnonymousNow · Fri Sep 02, 2016 5:07 am

I have seen the station named after a significant portion of the Bee Movie script.

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Sep 02, 2016 8:21 am #208186

Deitus wrote: >tfw i started that meme by putting the navy seal copypasta as the name

Pics or it didn't happen.

InsaneHyena · Fri Sep 02, 2016 10:06 pm

> QM
> CULT
> The good cult!
> Fuck off to lavaland, place runes in the dorm rooms and make talismans, gotta convert miners.
> Ask for help over Nar'Sie FM.
> Nobody is answering me. Call them all faggots. Looks like it's a job for LONE WOLF.
> Forgot multitool, gotta get back for it so I can disable telecoms
> Grab it, get back to the shuttle, some late miner is doing the last preparations
> The shuttle docks lavaland, get in the airlock...
> ...AND GET SWEPT OF MY FEET
> Nearly get spaced, but space gods are kind today and I somehow DO NOT end up flying out of the open airlock I'm lying in
> Late miner comes inside and steps over my body
> "FAG, YOU ALMOST SPACED ME"
> "GIT GUD"
> I'll show you "git gud", you fuck.
> Stun him with paper, cuff, strip headset, drag all the way to dorm rooms
> He tries to ensure me he's gonna be way more valuable as a living cultist
> SORRY, NONE OF MY BUDDIES WANT TO HELP ME CONVERT
> Bash his skull in with a tome, sac him, turn him into artificer
> He starts converting floor
> Okay, there's no way this could go wr...
> WILD CLOWN APPEARS, attracted by cult floor noises
> He runs, I run after him, but artificer casts magic missile
> My stun feels like it lasts forever. As artie screams "GET TO ME", I get up and run...
> ...and get hit by magic missile AGAIN
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> Meanwhile, clown managed to scream "CULT" over all fucking radio channels and AI is bolting all the doors
> Fuck you, AI, I have a secret weapon - teleportation talisman!
> ...nobody placed any teleport runes
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> Beg ANYONE to place a rune, after what feels like eternity they do it.
> We place "summon cultist" rune and summon our artificer too
> There's some strange bug involving light, so I have to navigate maints in total darkness
> Suddenly meet Smells just outside maints
> STUNSTUNSTUN
> Drag him to the freezer room, place teleport rune, ask anybody to help me convert
> Nobody answers
> Oh right, I can get to THEM instead
> Teleport Smells
> Somehow end up teleporting myself instead, even though I clearly wasn't standing on the rune
> Get back and do it properly
> Find another cultist, together we will convert Smells just fine
> Just kidding, we bumped into each other on wrong intents, and he escaped my grasp
> Five minutes of yakety sax in extremely enclosed space follow
> We have a few witnesses and even a call on the radio, but nobody helps Smells because... Uh... Well, Smells.
> Eventually catch and convert him after he experiences a round of temporarily insanity and allows himself to be pushed against a wall
> Meanwhile, other culties apparently caught our sac target
> Holy shit.
> Teleport to them, help them sac.
> Alright, nothing can possibly go wrong now. I instruct Smells and another random faggot to stand on the manifest runes that I've placed, so we'll have ghosts that will fill in our thin numbers and help us summon
> I also place barrier runes near walls and airlocks, so nobody will get inside
> My plan is fucking perfect
> NARNAR, HERE I COME
> Place the rune
> Imagine sec trying to get inside our autism fort without the chaplain
> Laugh
> Wait, what are those noises
> Is it...
> Is it...
> WILD DUKE HAYA APPEARS, AND HE'S A HULK
> He and one thousand other fucking hulks are breaking through walls!
> Not to worry, though, Smells already summoned ghosts, my artificer and juggernaut are here, and we have enough cultists to stand on the rune that is already ready and place-
> WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING, YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
> JUST STAND STILL AND WE WIN
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> Not to worry, though, because despite large number of cultists fucking off from the rune, we have JUST enough ghosts to summon Narnar anyway.
> WHY ISN'T DOCTOR STANDING ON THE RUNE
> IS THIS JUGGERNAUT FUCKING AFK
> WE JUST NEED THOSE TWO TO MOVE ONE FUCKING TILE EACH
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> An engineer from space breaks a window, Smells is moved away by space wind from the manifest rune and our ghosts die
> I get killed by hulk TK, because of course hulks have TK too.
> Smells manages to escape somehow, probably due to teleport talisman
> He places another Narnar rune in SMES room
> He walled off with metal walls.
> Not even reinforced ones.
> No barrier runes were used
> FOOL, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING
> Duke Haya appears, effortlessly breaks through walls and kills Smells
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> My heart jumps!
> I'm being resurrected!
> I'm in crit and placed into sleeper!
> Through manifest hijinks, I will PROBABLY be able to summon Narnar!
> Just kidding, hulk sees a guy healing me, kills him, then me.
> Cult once again defeated by it's worst enemy, 3x3 rune, the final boss of conversion rounds

FantasticFwoosh · Sat Sep 03, 2016 1:38 pm

I think you mean

[youtube]nBeUGqeYsQg[/youtube]

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 6:36 pm #209487

> Latejoin sec
> Well, it's 10 minutes in
> Walk towards the brig, see gang signs on the way
> "HoS, we need to convert people! Gimme your implants!"
> "Oh, we have gangs? Okay, get them"
> Wait, who is that, standing in the brig
> Is that Bryce Pax
> I need him!
> Pull my taser out, want to taze him
> He throws his shoes at the grille and kills HoS instantly
> AROUND PAX NEVER RELAX
> He dies too.
> Another guy standing in the brig also tries to pull that trick to kill me, but I avoid it, tase him and implant him
> GANG HEAD
> Command nearby borg to strip HoS's pda, give it to me and then close HoS
> I never see HoS again.
> Kill the ganghead, declare myself as deputy HoS.
> Implant a few people and give them full sec access.
> Okay, it's time to implant cargo.
> Get a second box of implants, run to cargo, but there's nobody home.
> No cargo points either.
> What could they waste them all on?
> Gang signs all over cargo
> Autorifle and armor crates in QM's office
> Oh, I see.
> Run out of cargo, slip because slip gas
> Engineer starts dragging me to the maint, while batoning me, he intends to throw me into the engine
> Luckily, HoP sees this and literally pulls me out of space!
> What a hero.
> Oh shit, I've totally lost the implants when I slipped.
> Can't order new ones because of gun/gang cargo
> Run to the brig, time to change my strategy to "kill"
> Some ligger officer joined, called Eats-the-Food
> Whatever.
> I wonder what's taking so long with cloning HoS?
> Wait, there's an intruder at the brig.
> He's a lizard. A lizard QM wearing a lawyer PDA.
> Where did he get it from
> Oh, it all makes sense now!
> Tase him, cuff him, drag him to cargo
> He loudly calls for help for his buddies all the way there and cries that it was JUST A PRANK, BRO
> Yeah, gang signs and gun crates in your department were just a prank, sure
> Okay, what do I do now, I can't exactly implant him - I don't have anything. Do I execute him?
> Ligger QM, Defends-the-Syndicate, continues crying for help to passerbies
> Threaten to kill him, if he doesn't stop
> He does it one more time.
> Pull out a baton and start beating him
> Suddenly, ligger officer jumps out of the maint to cargo
> He ensures me that QM dindu nuffin, pulls him out of my grip and tries to uncuff him
> Wait, Defens-the-Syndicate never actually yelled out his whereabouts. How did Eats-the-Food KNOW where to find us?
> Pretty random for him to do just bump into us randomly...
> HG was absent for too fucking long, lizard metagangs have returned
> Tase the ligger, finish beating the other ligger to death
> Tell the officer that I'm HoS, and those are gangs, he won't-
> He will, he pumps his shotgun and starts shooting me
> They're totally not metabuddies at all.
> Okay, I'm getting really mad.
> Adminhelp this shit
> While I'm chatting with admins, and they're sorting this situation out, Smells with a shotgun (hmmm, I wonder where he could have got it from) appears and shoots us both dead.
> AROUND SMELLS WATCH YOURSELVES
> Nothing conclusive comes out of the chat with admins. At least, if it did, I wasn't told about it.
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Fuck lizards. "Mad" doesn't even BEGIN to describe it.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 6:39 pm #209489

Master race get to ya?

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 6:46 pm #209491

R E M O V E

L I G G E R S
I
G
G
E
R
S

Not-Dorsidarf · Wed Sep 07, 2016 7:21 pm

I'd have given him a day jobban just for tazing a fellow officer because "lol lizard solidarity", let alone an actual murder.

Although its possible he was full of shit and converted and you didnt notice the lack of implant

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Fri Sep 09, 2016 3:51 pm #210030

> All day metastation
> One day, I'll be the dictator of the world. People who vote for meta will be summarily executed this day.
> I'm an engineer!
> Yes!
> It's revolution, and I get converted!
> Yes!!
> Oh right, stun prods got nerfed.
> Well, normally "yes", but since I have no other weapons I can rely on to take down sec, FUCK.
> This is gonna be a hard round, isn't it.
> Okay, first things first - the most powerful tool security has is communication. I'm gonna take it away from them.
> But first I'm gonna toolbox this plasmameme and space his body.
> No xeno scum on my station.
> Get dressed into hardsuit, take off my PDA and get to sabotaging telecoms.
> Now I want to briefly explain the reasons of my hateboner towards Meta. It's a power creep station, and it's out of fucking control. The AI has to have his impregnable autism fort, the sec has to have Beepsky in armory by default and traitor items in the locker, assistants have to have a public lathe, chaplain has to have spells.
> And, much more relevant to my case, telecoms have to have be hidden on the AI's autism fort, behind R-walls, turrets and Pingsky.
> In order to bypass the turrets, I need to break the rwalls from space, which takes fucking forever, but eventually I do it. Wish I've used thermite instead.
> Disabling several cameras does utterly nothing, because AI has much more cameras in telecoms and a motion sensor too. See what I was talking about?
> AI spots me and tries to send Beepsky after me.
> But at this point, I've already disassembled the broadcasters and took the boards. I place the machine frame between us to taunt beepsky, space the boards and fly back to the station.
> Luckily, the AI has no way of knowing my name.
> Get to the station, put on my PDA, get to the brig and...
> See Bryce Pax, the warden.
> Around Pax NEVER relax.
> He tries to tase me a few times, misses every shot, but he also has an energy gun which helps him get me.
> After dragging me to the brig, he looks at my backpack, sees no weapons of murder, so he just gulags me, because he doesn't have any implants.
> On the gulag shuttle I see a dead headrev.
> Hang in there, buddy, we're escaping.
> Before I manage to hatch a daring escape plan, which will, of course, include digging around lava, HoS arrives to gulag.
> Hi, HoS.
> I think I'm gonna kill you.
> After getting hit with a pickaxe, he understands my intentions and takes out his gun.
> Luckily, you'll never get his with a projective weapon in this game, if you're at least trying to dodge.
> I manage to get a couple more hits at him and attempt to disarm him, when he takes out a baton and hits me.
> He retreats like a complete coward.
> ...and comes back two minutes later!
> This time, he not only is he slow on the draw, he allows me to push him into the corner.
> I knock him down and continue hitting him until he stops bleeding.
> Have you seen this, ghosts? Huh? Huh?!
> Switch to his clothes and PDA, he happens to have a shitload of guns AND a captain ID.
> Lucky me.
> I take the body of the headrev, take a ride back to the station on the gulag shuttle and run straight to genetics, where I speedclone him.
> The moron doesn't comprehend that I'm trying to help and tries to run away numerous times, until he finally notices big red "R" on top of my head.
> Head north, there's Evsey there with two combat shotguns. This is not good, not only they are arming crew, they got a hold of cargo.
> Now we'll have those guns.
> Tase him and laser him as he stammers "I'm imp-p-p-planted"
> Yes, that's kinda the problem
> Drop my gun
> Wait, what
> Vomit
> Wait, WHAT?!
> Oh come on, are you KIDDING ME?
> Yes, it's appendicitus.
> I'm slower than a tortoise now, because I've vomited away all the nurtiment, and I'm very unhappy about this.
> Drag Evsey's body to medical and arm revs with shotguns
> Another loyalist runs in and yells at me to give him my clothes, mistaking me for HoS
> Laser him instead.
> I need somebody to do a surgery on me. But who's gonna do it?
> As I ponder it, I see a security officer get cloned.
> Kill the geneticist, stop the cloning process, finish off the officer.
> Strike force arrives to medbay, I can't fight or run from them, because appendicitus
> Get tased and lasered.
> All the headrevs, including the one I cloned, die because a rev botanist makes kudzu.

Reyn · Post by **Reyn** » Fri Sep 09, 2016 4:27 pm #210038

InsaneHyena wrote:> All day metastation
> One day, I'll be the dictator of the world. People who vote for meta will be summarily executed this day.
> I'm an engineer!
> Yes!
> It's revolution, and I get converted!
> Yes!!
> Oh right, stun prods got nerfed.
> Well, normally "yes", but since I have no other weapons I can rely on to take down sec, FUCK.
> This is gonna be a hard round, isn't it.
> Okay, first things first - the most powerful tool security has is communication. I'm gonna take it away from them.
> But first I'm gonna toolbox this plasmameme and space his body.
> No xeno scum on my station.
> Get dressed into hardsuit, take off my PDA and get to sabotaging telecoms.
> Now I want to briefly explain the reasons of my hateboner towards Meta. It's a power creep station, and it's out of fucking control. The AI has to have his impregnable autism fort, the sec has to have Beepsky in armory by default and traitor items in the locker, assistants have to have a public lathe, chaplain has to have spells.
> And, much more relevant to my case, telecoms have to have be hidden on the AI's autism fort, behind R-walls, turrets and Pingsky.
> In order to bypass the turrets, I need to break the rwalls from space, which takes fucking forever, but eventually I do it. Wish I've used thermite instead.
> Disabling several cameras does utterly nothing, because AI has much more cameras in telecoms and a motion sensor too. See what I was talking about?
> AI spots me and tries to send Beepsky after me.
> But at this point, I've already disassembled the broadcasters and took the boards. I place the machine frame between us to taunt beepsky, space the boards and fly back to the station.
> Luckily, the AI has no way of knowing my name.
> Get to the station, put on my PDA, get to the brig and...
> See Bryce Pax, the warden.
> Around Pax NEVER relax.
> He tries to tase me a few times, misses every shot, but he also has an energy gun which helps him get me.
> After dragging me to the brig, he looks at my backpack, sees no weapons of murder, so he just gulags me, because he doesn't have any implants.
> On the gulag shuttle I see a dead headrev.
> Hang in there, buddy, we're escaping.
> Before I manage to hatch a daring escape plan, which will, of course, include digging around lava, HoS arrives to gulag.
> Hi, HoS.
> I think I'm gonna kill you.
> After getting hit with a pickaxe, he understands my intentions and takes out his gun.
> Luckily, you'll never get his with a projective weapon in this game, if you're at least trying to dodge.
> I manage to get a couple more hits at him and attempt to disarm him, when he takes out a baton and hits me.
> He retreats like a complete coward.
> ...and comes back two minutes later!
> This time, he not only is he slow on the draw, he allows me to push him into the corner.
> I knock him down and continue hitting him until he stops bleeding.
> Have you seen this, ghosts? Huh? Huh?!
> Switch to his clothes and PDA, he happens to have a shitload of guns AND a captain ID.
> Lucky me.
> I take the body of the headrev, take a ride back to the station on the gulag shuttle and run straight to genetics, where I speedclone him.
> The moron doesn't comprehend that I'm trying to help and tries to run away numerous times, until he finally notices big red "R" on top of my head.
> Head north, there's Evsey there with two combat shotguns. This is not good, not only they are arming crew, they got a hold of cargo.
> Now we'll have those guns.
> Tase him and laser him as he stammers "I'm imp-p-p-planted"
> Yes, that's kinda the problem
> Drop my gun
> Wait, what
> Vomit
> Wait, WHAT?!
> Oh come on, are you KIDDING ME?
> Yes, it's appendicitus.
> I'm slower than a tortoise now, because I've vomited away all the nurtiment, and I'm very unhappy about this.
> Drag Evsey's body to medical and arm revs with shotguns
> Another loyalist runs in and yells at me to give him my clothes, mistaking me for HoS
> Laser him instead.
> I need somebody to do a surgery on me. But who's gonna do it?
> As I ponder it, I see a security officer get cloned.
> Kill the geneticist, stop the cloning process, finish off the officer.
> Strike force arrives to medbay, I can't fight or run from them, because appendicitus
> Get tased and lasered.
> All the headrevs, including the one I cloned, die because a rev botanist makes kudzu.

>against metastation
>Not seeing "Set up engine" for any of those lines.
>Complaining about public autolathe you could use
>Complaining about the stunprod nerf
>Complaining about security doing their jobs.
>kek.

FantasticFwoosh · Fri Sep 09, 2016 4:56 pm

I was head-rev that round. I finished pax off when he kamikaized by shooting a fuel tank (which he died first but he blew off my arm and i was in crit), i was running around maint cutting wires (i flashed hydroponics IM REALLY SORRY FOR CONVERTING THOSE GUYS) laying low and off the grid as station engineer, but because of MUH CARGO EXPLOITS LETS ORDER 6+ MINSHEILD IMPLANTS AND JUST ROUND UP EVERYONE INSTEAD OF INVESTIGATE, we were quelled by the cap eventually even with venus humantraps roaming around.

The cap also stabbed and dismembered the HOP who was disguised in plainclothes to death to our amusement in dead chat. It was a pillar of salt round.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Fri Sep 09, 2016 10:25 pm #210132

>assistant
>no antag
>time to kill myself and then grief everyone
>all the cool kids are throwing shit at this grille
>stand in front of it, two spaces away
>throw an id at it
>BZZZZZZZZZAMPFT
>some dude standing next to me is dead
>sorry about that dude
>throw something again
>BZZZZZZZZZZZAMPFT
>i'm not dead
>oh it tagged some other asshole that was kinda near me
>stand back idiots
>throw something again
>BZZZZZZZZAMPFT
>it electrocutes some engineer running in the background
>what the fuck
>maybe i should stop
>but then this is fucking hilarious
>start wagging my tail again (i had a lizard's tail)
>throw something
>BZZZZZZZZAMPFT
>it instakills rd leaving the teleporter with gloves and a hardsuit
>holy shit
>cmo walks up
>STOP FUCKING MAKING MORE WORK
>fine
>detective comes at me with a baton
>disarm it
>hop in a locker
>sec runs past
>hahaha idiots
>hop out the airlock
>i am still wanted
>become syndieborg
>lose syndieborg as punishment
>i was standing right in front of the fucking grille

TheColdTurtle · Fri Sep 09, 2016 10:49 pm

Say it with me. Around pax __________

TheNightingale · Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:05 pm

> Non-antag
> Keeps killing people with electrified grilles
*squints*

Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:10 pm

TheNightingale wrote:> Non-antag
> Keeps killing people with electrified grilles
*squints*

essentially he was playing russian roulette with himself but people kept diving in front of the bullet

TheNightingale · Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:12 pm

That's hilarious. Still manslaughter though.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:29 pm #210157

a more accurate analogy would be that i pressed a loaded gun against my head, and the bullet went in my ear, around my brain matter, out the other ear, and struck a bystander in the forehead

that said, i kept doing it over and over like a fucking retard

[youtube]rKMMCPeiQoc[/youtube]

Cheimon · Post by **Cheimon** » Sat Sep 10, 2016 12:32 am #210168

TheColdTurtle wrote:Say it with me. Around pax __________

I'm with you: Around pax __________

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Sat Sep 10, 2016 12:36 am #210170

Cheimon wrote:
TheColdTurtle wrote:Say it with me. Around pax __________
I'm with you: Around pax __________

Maintain an appropriate level of awareness because he has an irritatingly inflated history of taking actions that he finds entertaining but causes damage to other players because of his clear lack of empathy stemming from his clear psychosis.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Sat Sep 10, 2016 1:22 am #210183

ow that empty void where my feelings should be

TheColdTurtle · Sat Sep 10, 2016 2:10 am

Fucking brutal

MrAlphonzo · Post by **MrAlphonzo** » Sat Sep 10, 2016 6:27 am #210240

>Be Captain
>Shit on a handful of traitors
>Get mini ebow, emag, military belt, among other things
>Decon a few of the shittier tator items for sweet sweet research
>Only reviver and nutriment implant for now
>Quiet shift for like half an hour
>Go to cargo
>200k points
>Console is emagged
>About to order the ever loving shit out of syndie surplus crates
>"Hey Captain, R&D has even more implants for you now."
>Like I said, quiet shift, no explosions, meteors, just one rad storm, station completely intact, no reason for lag
>Start rubbing my hands together when suddenly
>Connection failed
>Connection failed
>Connection failed
>Welcome to the lobby!