Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:38 pm #169863

Bottom post of the previous page:

Moral: Never lose sight of your objectives, even if your objectives are not your objectives.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:18 am #170088

Not my best round, but super fun

>Been getting my detective groove back
>lowsec on meta, late night basil
>Me and Franz Krake the sec officer
>Shit goes crazy pretty fast, get in a gunfight with an Ebow tator in arrivals. He gets away but i save his murder victim
>Chase down other motherfuckers, Krake busts someone, gets an Ebow and cham projector i steal
>Borg screams tator in atmos trying to release plasma
>I dunk her, its Sasha something or other
>She claims it is double agents and her target is a syndie
>Dont really remember why but i was inclined to believe her
>She is super co-operative and gives me her unlocked PDA, all she bought was an Ebow
>Hatch a dastardly plan
>She says she has to hijack the shuttle too
>Implant her with a chem implant and tracker
>Tell her to dunk her target and we will evac civvies on the pods so she can steal the shuttle
>Wait until she kills and disposes of some lizard
>Engineer bears witness to this, comes crying to sec
>Stare off in to the distance and tell him it is all part of the plan
>He yells at me for not doing it by the book
>My detective boner has never been larger
>Dunk Sasha hard to tie up lose ends, decide to perma rather than kill because she was cooperative to us
>Use her TC to get noslips, combat gloves, thermals, C4, super decked out
>Dunk at least one other traitor
>Shuttle out to leave
>Go to weld Sasha into the secpod because she was helpful
>She is pissed that i betrayed her
>She says it was all a lie, there was no double agents
>Place my revolver in her mouth
>Toss her body out of the now bloody escape pod and buckle in
>Smoke a cig thoughtfully as the pod flies and credits roll

I totally got played but it was still really fun doing the whole intrigue thing. At the end of it all we had like 3 ebows collected from dunked tators, and mass redtext. Being a loose canon is wicked fun

Pilgrim · Post by **Pilgrim** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 6:47 am #170185

Inspiration to detectives everywhere, thank you for sharing.

How was your ammo looking? My plain problem during gunfights over the course of a shift is getting the ammo I need (cargo is usually to slow when you have a lot of stuff on your plate) and general equipment management, i.e. keeping the shoulder holster, handcuffs, and police baton all accessible and on my person instead of in the backpack.

TheNightingale · Wed Apr 20, 2016 12:12 pm

Pilgrim wrote:Inspiration to detectives everywhere, thank you for sharing.

How was your ammo looking? My plain problem during gunfights over the course of a shift is getting the ammo I need (cargo is usually to slow when you have a lot of stuff on your plate) and general equipment management, i.e. keeping the shoulder holster, handcuffs, and police baton all accessible and on my person instead of in the backpack.

Well, that gave me 50s noir feels. I approve.

With the ammo reload time for the .38 now, you don't need to keep them in your shoulder holster; it takes so long to reload that you won't be doing it in combat much anyway. Put the baton in a Security belt and the handcuffs in either your pocket (if stuff is happening) or your evidence bag box (if you don't think you'll need quick-access to cuffs). The gun can go on your armour whilst the forensic scanner goes in your other pocket (it's a small item now, isn't it? If not, put it in your bag), and you can put the speedloaders in your internals box (it's a good idea to swap this for a hugbox or hollowed-out Space Law, just so you don't mix up the two). Put crime scene gear like the camera, recorder and holotape in the evidence bags inside the box; when you come across a crime, you can just take it out of the bag and use the bag for actual evidence.

This way all you have in your bag is your internals box, and your evidence bag box. The gun and scanner are both easy to access, and if you're getting into a fight, swap out one of your pocket items for handcuffs and open the Security belt interface.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:11 pm #170228

I will share the secret of my inventory juggling

Firstly, get rid of your ugly brown outfit and slap on that noir suit to avoid looking anything less than badass. Open your bag, take out the evidence bag box and put it on the table. Put the det scanner in your coat slot. Baton used to go in the pocket but the new truncheon is too big so leave it where it is. Next, open your internals box and put the medipen in your locker. Fill the rest of the box with your white crayon, an evidence bag, your camera, recorder and holotape. This is your forensics kit if you get the itch to set up a big crime scene (which is super fun to do). Zippo goes in one pocket, will eventually be your smokes there too. I usually put pepperspray in the other pocket now that our baton doesnt telecope, but i will also toss insulated gloves in there for quick switching if i ever find any. Holster in belt slot, Name and skin your gun (I go Black Panther and name it Justice) and put it in there with your two speedloaders. Grab your shades and toss the cuffs in your bag and you are ready to go fight crime. I like this loadout because you dont have to carry your extra det gear in a backpack but you still have backpack space for other stuff.

As for ammo if it is on metastation (which basil always is) I just scour maint/tool storage for some metal and make my own. Otherwise i will order some from cargo at the start of the shift and hope it is ready by the time shit really hits the fan. As a side note if things go full warzone (ops, malf AI with a lot of borgs) A riot shotgun loaded with slugs is deadly and also matches your coat and oldschool aesthetic, which is very important

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 3:10 pm #170245

For best results, name your detective gun "gyrojet pistol".

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Apr 20, 2016 3:33 pm #170249

My other gun is a peacemaker name "Law and Order". I know that the det revolver is supposedly the best gun in the game but i think i would still prefer if it did sketchkin damage with no stamina damage or knockdown. 357 is okay but i can never stand to run the risk of losing my snowflake pistol

Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:27 pm

DemonFiren wrote:For best results, name your detective gun "gyrojet pistol".

i always name mine "cryptographic sequencer" or "mini-energy crossbow" or something to that effect

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 1:52 am #170562

I haven't been able to skin my gun in ages what's up with that?

I prefer to name mine any of the following:-
Aggressive Negotiations
Peaceful Resolution
Final Solution
.357 Revolver (Always a laugh)
Welfare Nine
Space Law
The AI Triggerer
Hybrid Taser (For tricking clever AIs that take pictures to see what's in your hand)
The OP StOPper
Stun Revolver

Fri Apr 22, 2016 2:17 am

Anonmare wrote:I haven't been able to skin my gun in ages what's up with that?

I prefer to name mine any of the following:-
Aggressive Negotiations
Peaceful Resolution
Final Solution
.357 Revolver (Always a laugh)
Welfare Nine
Space Law
The AI Triggerer
Hybrid Taser (For tricking clever AIs that take pictures to see what's in your hand)
The OP StOPper
Stun Revolver

im pretty sure you alt click it to change the skin

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 2:21 am #170572

USed to be you could change the skin by clicking on it when it was on your coat.
Damn coders changing my powergame

Pilgrim · Post by **Pilgrim** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 5:12 am #170603

You name it by writing with a pen; I usually name mine Judge Holden, Judge Dredd, or the names of Raymond Chandler books and stories like The Big Sleep or Double Indemnity.

Regarding school of thought for detective loadouts, I disagree with the accessibility of forensic scanners and other equipment. When you're using your scanner, you're in an environment that's safe to do so -- if you're getting out your gun, cuffs, or baton, you're in a situation where those need to be out as soon as possible. I also keep the camera and recorder in the office as they don't tend to be useful, though I may start just putting it in my internals box for the future. I keep the hologram projector in my backpack to seal off crime scenes are cut off exits for fleeing suspects.

I currently keep a shoulder holster with my gun and speedloaders inside, with cuffs in the suit slot. Ciggies (sometimes I fill them with chems that suit my interests) and the zippo in my pockets for easy access, though I think I'll be replacing this in the future. Baton goes in the backpack; that's my main problem.

Also, grey suit a shit. Get a leather overcoat from botany. I try to trade them stuff, usually a goodie from security or evidence i don't need anymore.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 8:22 am #170624

Anonmare wrote:USed to be you could change the skin by clicking on it when it was on your coat.
Damn coders changing my powergame

Blame Paprika. Also blame Paprika for not allowing you to change the skin more than once.

Also, another of my favourites is "corgi meat".
My shotguns, however, are without exception named "protorobustic accelerator" if QM, or "Last Call For Shots" if bartender.

NSFW:

Post by **Shaps-cloud** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 1:27 pm #170662

Anonmare wrote:Welfare Nine

Fuck that's pretty good

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 1:30 pm #170663

Shaps wrote:
Anonmare wrote:Welfare Nine
Fuck that's pretty good

Is that some Americuck joke?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 2:05 pm #170672

> noir suit a shit

Do you even detective movies?

Post by **Shaps-cloud** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 3:31 pm #170686

DemonFiren wrote:
Shaps wrote:
Anonmare wrote:Welfare Nine
Fuck that's pretty good
Is that some Americuck joke?

It's homage to the eternal Ben "Empty my nine into the welfare line" Garrison

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 9:08 pm #170735

Command's Approval Rating: 90%
The head revolutionaries were:
Siserith was Siserith Vassada the Shaft Miner and survived while fleeing the station

The revolutionaries were:
Yuri00 was Mike Donovan the Shaft Miner and survived while fleeing the station
MaximumSpider was Argus Savalas the Shaft Miner and survived while fleeing the station

The heads of staff were:
Digdugxx was James Anderson the Chief Medical Officer and survived
TankNut was John Miller the Head of Security and survived
Gigapuddi420 was Katherine Guillou the Chief Engineer and survived

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Fri Apr 22, 2016 9:43 pm #170740

Command's Approval Rating: 90%
The head revolutionaries were:
Siserith was Siserith Vassada the Shaft Miner and survived while fleeing the station

The revolutionaries were:
Yuri00 was Mike Donovan the Shaft Miner and survived while fleeing the station
MaximumSpider was Argus Savalas the Shaft Miner and survived while fleeing the station

The heads of staff were:
Digdugxx was James Anderson the Chief Medical Officer and survived
TankNut was John Miller the Head of Security and survived
Gigapuddi420 was Katherine Guillou the Chief Engineer and survived

Four minutes.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Sat Apr 23, 2016 5:28 pm #170937

106.7% survival rate

confused rock · Sun Apr 24, 2016 12:02 am

Just now
>med traitor
>kill the hop
>god damn it I wanted to make gatling lasers
>get emag, holopara, and encryption key
>meet william or some shit, a cargo tech with sleeping carp
>work together to fuck shit up
>be small time, find the cmo dead
>get heat resist after killing genetics but it does not work for the other guy
>go for xenobio
>accidentally get it blocked off
>magni runs in
>defib-elbow dropped
>holo is support btw
>other guy runs in
>defib-elbow dropped
>traitor runs in
>defib-elbow dropped
>sec runs in
>defib elbow dropped
>hos comes in
>defib elbow dropped
>we get gear
>get super cell for defib
>go to brig for max murderbone
>make a few mistakes, end up killing the rest of sec and my target though and get all access
>not a mega-prick, we go to bridge to try to call the shuttle
>suddenly darth vader comes in with the dual esword+tk bundle
>has chaos holopara
>we both die
>jk para saxes me out, still on fire but cargo guy is dead
>so high cloneloss I can only limp
>still kill another traitor in maint
>realize holopara was renamed to "the cure"
>get the heat resist removed
>go to maint bar
>chug the cryoxadone
>break the window to space
>its double agent by the way
>heal from the cryoxadone
>back at full health
>grab a combat shotty from the contraband closet cuz its on meta that I used earlier but emptied
>grab the 3 boxes of lethals from the closet
>thank fuck there is no ai
>get revenge on darth vader
>see him passed out in crit
>go to medbay to recharge guns
>oh shit its the para
>shoot it once
>one buckshot hits
>he ded, he was in cryo
>cant find his esword
>suddenly ert announcement
>try to pod clone the cargo guy who died in bridge but his soul departed
>charge at the ert
>its just 1 guy
>WITH POWER ARMOR AND A LASER GATLING
>prepare to die because kor is like "its hella op"
>his first words are "time to kill some liggers"
>first and last
>tase him from cover in the arrivals lobby
>shotgun him 60 times in the face with buckshot (if all pellets hit its 85 fucking brute on no armor)
>he ded
>pussy admin (not kor) destroys his gatling (its all I wanted to fucking do is try that)
>get power armor anyway
>a murderboner but not THAT big a murderboner so go to the sec escape pod
>admin is salty
>sends immovable rod slowly
>barely notice it through space
>run for my life
>hide in arrivals pod
>it corners me
>it says "end of the line"
>lol no
>teleport out with my hand tele from the dead rd when it is just 1 tile away
>in space
>go to the centcomm shuttle
>request access
>access granted right before it gets on
>drink whiskey from medbay storage
>suddenly centcomm ert
>juke long enough for round to end
>it counted as an escape
>greentext

and they say the gatling laser is overpowered...

Sun Apr 24, 2016 3:12 am

^
after that story kor buffed the gatling laser presumably out of "i ded pls buff"
good story lad, good murderbones like that are few and far between

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 4:28 am #171270

yackemflam wrote:
I was practicing drawing lewds...

>not providing these lewds

yackemflam · Post by **yackemflam** » Mon Apr 25, 2016 4:29 am #171271

Drynwyn wrote:
yackemflam wrote:
I was practicing drawing lewds...
>not providing these lewds

>Not playing the game

I post them in ooc whenever I play the game

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Tue Apr 26, 2016 7:14 am #171549

I played a clown named Rookie for a couple of rounds. Bragged a bit about how I served in XCom for 24 hours until I got kicked out for shooting a captain the back. Ran around demonstrating my expert marksmanship with laser tag guns and practice lasers by trying to shoot various stuff and missing every shot. If anything struck me as dangerous (basically everything), or I missed my target (basically every time) I emoted "Rookie has panicked!", dropped my gun, and ran away.

Crew actually got a kick out of it and the second time I managed to score all access from the bartender, changed my job title to "X-Com Squad Leader" and chilled out in the brig trying to shoot the xeno target, missing spectacularly, and panicking and dropping my gun.

Post by **Atlanta-Ned** » Tue Apr 26, 2016 2:30 pm #171599

Jacough wrote:I played a clown named Rookie for a couple of rounds. Bragged a bit about how I served in XCom for 24 hours until I got kicked out for shooting a captain the back. Ran around demonstrating my expert marksmanship with laser tag guns and practice lasers by trying to shoot various stuff and missing every shot. If anything struck me as dangerous (basically everything), or I missed my target (basically every time) I emoted "Rookie has panicked!", dropped my gun, and ran away.

Crew actually got a kick out of it and the second time I managed to score all access from the bartender, changed my job title to "X-Com Squad Leader" and chilled out in the brig trying to shoot the xeno target, missing spectacularly, and panicking and dropping my gun.

This is quality clowning. Everyone else take notes.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Apr 26, 2016 3:22 pm #171604

That is actually hilarious, 10/10 gimmick

confused rock · Tue Apr 26, 2016 8:07 pm

>miner
>find cancer rat ruin
>3 veterinarians
>rat is kill
>they kill me and take my stuff
>plan to go to the station and murderbone
>u fuckin srs rn
>they take my id and oxy tank
>plan is 1 drags the other 2 in a cat crate
>he crashes
>ash storm
>They all die
>bgo revives me
>2 of the 3 let themselves get cloned (big suprize, not the one who attacked me)
>kidnap them
>yell wgw at them
>somebody pops a boh bomb on the shuttle
>survive the singulos
ayy lmao

Post by **Armhulen** » Fri Apr 29, 2016 12:48 am #172236

Topham wrote:revenant story

I was the revenant, was really awesome in general, yeah. I tried to get someone to help you, oh well.

srifenbyxp · Post by **srifenbyxp** » Fri Apr 29, 2016 5:51 am #172284

>Gang Round
>Sci Guy
>Research is nearly maxed in the standard 10 Minutes
>Materials!
>Git dat shit
>Clown gangers me
>go back to science
>max research
>clown boss got getted
>clown doesn't bother to promote ANYONE
>make a durand and the detective feels like acting tough
>Take a stroll through the station
>On my way back to science the HoS/Warden/Detective starts opening fire 4NR
>ACT SHIT > GIT HIT
>Fuck their shit up
>Proceed to murder dick the entire station
>Kill nearly the same poor souls 3+ times
>After killing 2/3 of the station clown boss is revived
>CLOWN LOST HIS DEVICE
>Continue to kill everybody while the few gang members search for the device
>Constant mech fighting - ACE PILOT MODE
>15 minutes later mech runs out of juice so I recharge
>nosey chaplin some how ions my mech
>BUILD A GYGAX
>More ACE PILOTING
>Kill more people
>Super Run right into a wall draining all power
>Get out of mech and head to science
>Run around with advance gun and laser cannon
>MORE FIGHTING
>killed the fucking chaplin and his possy
>Got bored and head to the bridge to call the shuttle
>Kill the same poor smuck 4 times in a row
>Proceed to kill the bitch captain and annoying CMO
>JUST FUCK YOUR SHIT UP FAM
>Get to shuttle with crew and have a pissing war with a mining bot
>Kill da bot
>Round ends and only FOUR TEAM MEMBERS IN TOTAL

Good lord, I want to see the logs and drown in salt.

THE ENTIRE ROUND IN A NUT SHELL

peoplearestrange · Fri Apr 29, 2016 1:02 pm

One Seven One wrote:
Spoiler:
This story is a bit old and the htm I had apparently saved nothing.
So this is all from my shit memory but is still pretty accurate save for a few things probably happening in a different order.

>Be a miner on the old asteroid
>Time to mi-
>Ding, you're a traitor. Steal some papers, any papers, we don't give a fuck.
>Also steal the HoS' cool gun
>Well alright then
>Purchase a ranged Holoparasite
>Rhodium Rose boots up
>Rhodium says something intended for ghost chat
>"Hello!"
>"..."
>"Hello?"
>"..."
>"You there?"
>"..."
>Wait for seven minues with no sign of them coming around
>Finally say fuck it and hit the New Holoparasite button
>No ghosts hit yes
>Stuck with a probably ghosted Holoparasite
>Start looking for Artifact rooms as an excuse to wait for a new ghost.
>Hit it again after a while
>Rhodium: "Greetings master!"
>Fucking hurray
>Tell Rhodium my objective and start talking about a plan
>As we're about to board the shuttle a mining borg comes along
>Huh, it's a bit late for tha-
>Mining borg starts drilling me
>Rhodium pops out and begins peppering the borg with crystals
>I start beating it with my pick-axe
>Borg is dead
>"Well if the AI is against me I need to prepare a little more. I know the location of an old syndicate building."
>Wander all the way to the back of the asteroid to grab the free Combat Gloves
>On our way up there and back we start talking a little
>Rhodium Rose acts cutsie and uses ~s
>Kind of adorable
>We head back to the station and figure we'll take the papers hidden in the vault
>We make our way around
>As I'm welding in the through the wall someone with a space suit starts trying to chat me up
>Maybe if I'm quiet and I don't move he'll go away
>Eventually he does
>Fuck yeah
>"Rhodium, check around. I don't want anymore surprises."
>Rhodium checks inside the vault
>The guy with the suit is in there
>The papers are already missing
>The fuck
>We decide to check out the brig's evidence lockers, maybe they took one?
>Rhodium goes looking around while I float my way over
>Rhodium meets the Warden and some other guy
>O-Oh, what are they saying
>"They say the papers are right outside the perma brig."
>Wait what
>Break in from perma's windows, buy an emag, and grab the papers
>Wow, that was... easy, now all we need is the HoS' gun
>"It'll probably be on the HoS."
>"Probab- wait we don't have a HoS."
>Check the Warden?
>Start asking Rhodium how her conversation with the Warden went
>"When I refused them sexual favors they started hitting me."
>RAGE
>"Which one did it, I'll kill 'em?!"
>The warden
>Shoot my fucking way through the small armory's windows
>Start breaking the glass to hop over the desk
>"Just emag the shutter controls."
>Oh right
>Run in and grab some laser guns and start firing at the Warden
>They hit computers
>Fuck I'm stupid
>Warden notices me and we start shooting each other
>I'm in a terrible position so I emag my way to the security room right outside the HoS' door.
>Start having a fire fight with the Warden
>Rhodium unloads crystals in to the Warden
>The fucking asshole in the spacesuit comes in from the airlocks and starts firing a stun gun
>Get hit by one
>Rhodium chases him off with Crystals
>I get up
>Rhodium downs the Warden
>Fuck ye-
>Security officer pops in and tosses a SPEAR in to my leg
>FUCK
>I start trying to pull it out
>Spacesuit guy shows up AGAIN
>Warden gets whisked away by some officer
>Fuck fuck fuck
>Rhodium shoots spacesuit and he runs off again
>Fall in to crit from blood loss
>FUCK
>Tell Rhodium I'm in crit
>TIME TO PANIC
>Rhodium begins to drag me where the space suit guy came in
>Shoots through the holoroom's windows
>Begins dragging me through the halls
>THE LIGHT IS GETTING PRETTY DAM CLOSE
>"If you can find anyone willing to help, tell them I have medical supplies in my pack."
>Rhodium drags me through medbay and I can only imagine is trying to get a doctor to help
>Get dragged in to the room next to the surgery theater
>THE LIGHT, IS THAT YOU UNCLE ROE?
>Start getting patched
>The light start falling back
>Is this really happening?
>Eventually come to
>"Uhhh, hi?"
>Doctor says I have a lot of blood loss and should take it easy
>"Y-Yeah, thank you."
>You shouldn't cause so much of a ruckus either Rhodium
>Rhodium: "I'll try not to!"
>H-Huh..
>"Is there anything I can do for you doc?" I ask, half expecting them to be a traitor helping out another traitor
>Doctor: "Try not to hurt anyone, makes my job a lot easier."
>"Heh, will do doc."
>One of us, can't remember which, asks if the doc has seen the warden
>Doc "He was in cloning last I saw."
>"Shit, we need his gun."
>Doc walks out and checks
>Me and Rhodium decide our days of shooting up brigs is behind us, we wouldn't even be alive had it not been for this doctor
>We're going to turn our lives around for the better after this
>Doc comes back and says the Warden is already gone
>Well shit
>I try to get up but I keep flopping over from blood loss
>Doc buckles me back in, checks my blood type, and says she's going to go get me some blood
>Doc hooks me up to a blood transfusion tube with one of the blood packs from the Surgery Theater
>Heh, maybe the gun is still in the HoS' locker? It won't be hard to get it and if we're quick we won't have to fight anyone. I think to myself
>Suddenly crit
>Wait what 2 return of the what
>"Oh shit I'm dieing." I say to Rhodium
>White light starts shrinking pretty dam quickly
>"AND FAST AT THAT."
>Doctor checks me
>Tosses me in to cryo
>Still dieing
>The light is so close
>UNCLE ROE I'M COMING BACK
>"Rhodium, just know. You're the best Holoparasite I could have asked for."
>"Good bye."
>DEAD
>Dead chat mildly explodes
>Turns out we had a small following
>People were enjoying our small bits of RP and the brig fight
>Get told the the only reason I'm dead is because there's a bug with the round start blood packs
>Blood pack's labels are randomized
>Blood pack's blood are ALSO randomized
>I'm dead because someone at Centcomm can't label shit correctly or gives two fucks to check before labeling
>I'm fucking laughing over here
>I'm not even mad, this is great. I could not have asked for a funnier way to die.
>Get told the warden was fucking pissed that the doctor was trying to help me instead of validing me
>Fucking hilarious
>Doc realizes after she scanned me why I died.
>Warden comes by and sees my bones and clothes in the cryotube
>Takes my shit and leaves
>Shuttle arrives and round ends

I may have died but fucking hell I enjoyed that round.
After that round I started naming my mining gun after Rhodium Rose.
She may be dead, but she will not be forgotten.

Holy shit that was an excellent story. Nice to see some proper interaction between all parts. Particularly the Doc!

srifenbyxp · Post by **srifenbyxp** » Sat Apr 30, 2016 1:03 am #172450

Did this recently

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Sat Apr 30, 2016 3:42 am #172490

congrats on breaching the vagina sanctum

you're no longer a miner virgin

yackemflam · Post by **yackemflam** » Sat Apr 30, 2016 3:44 am #172492

IcePacks wrote:congrats on breaching the vagina sanctum

you're no longer a miner virgin

How do you know he isn`t being born?

Topham · Post by **Topham** » Sat Apr 30, 2016 7:08 am #172524

srifenbyxp wrote:Did this recently

Spoiler:

me and a few other ashlizards did this a few days or so ago. we reached the promised land.

and then the weather machine clusterbombed us repeatedly

Sat Apr 30, 2016 11:45 pm

>roll for miner
>get engineer
>im_okay_with_this.jpg
>go to start setting up the field, gonna run singulo
>some fuckin pussy bitch heads out and starts trying to do tesla
>take tesla generator out and hide it
>go back in and start up the fields
>this fucking goon runs in, takes out singulo generator
>ugh fuck ill have to take down the fields and get the other one
>suddenly he rushes back in with the tesla generator
>i see that he's about to try and run into the fields
>"LAD NO"
>"NO LAD NO"
>it's too late for him
>he flies in just as the fields close, slams into a field, and ping pongs like 40 times
>he ded
>he real ded
>admins spawn a bronze trophy named "reel gud enbingeerin" on him
>sides implode
>recover his body and set up the singulo master race engine

Topham · Post by **Topham** » Sun May 01, 2016 6:54 pm #172851

srifenbyxp wrote:
Spoiler:
>Gang Round
>Sci Guy
>Research is nearly maxed in the standard 10 Minutes
>Materials!
>Git dat shit
>Clown gangers me
>go back to science
>max research
>clown boss got getted
>clown doesn't bother to promote ANYONE
>make a durand and the detective feels like acting tough
>Take a stroll through the station
>On my way back to science the HoS/Warden/Detective starts opening fire 4NR
>ACT SHIT > GIT HIT
>Fuck their shit up
>Proceed to murder dick the entire station
>Kill nearly the same poor souls 3+ times
>After killing 2/3 of the station clown boss is revived
>CLOWN LOST HIS DEVICE
>Continue to kill everybody while the few gang members search for the device
>Constant mech fighting - ACE PILOT MODE
>15 minutes later mech runs out of juice so I recharge
>nosey chaplin some how ions my mech
>BUILD A GYGAX
>More ACE PILOTING
>Kill more people
>Super Run right into a wall draining all power
>Get out of mech and head to science
>Run around with advance gun and laser cannon
>MORE FIGHTING
>killed the fucking chaplin and his possy
>Got bored and head to the bridge to call the shuttle
>Kill the same poor smuck 4 times in a row
>Proceed to kill the bitch captain and annoying CMO
>JUST FUCK YOUR SHIT UP FAM
>Get to shuttle with crew and have a pissing war with a mining bot
>Kill da bot
>Round ends and only FOUR TEAM MEMBERS IN TOTAL

Good lord, I want to see the logs and drown in salt.

THE ENTIRE ROUND IN A NUT SHELL

oh so THAT'S what happened after i left for school and got someone else to take my body. i'm proud of y'all. the device was probably somewhere in the brig tbh, but i didn't have enough time to go look

peoplearestrange · Sun May 01, 2016 11:58 pm

PKPenguin321 wrote:>roll for miner
>get engineer
>im_okay_with_this.jpg
>go to start setting up the field, gonna run singulo
>some fuckin pussy bitch heads out and starts trying to do tesla
>take tesla generator out and hide it
>go back in and start up the fields
>this fucking goon runs in, takes out singulo generator
>ugh fuck ill have to take down the fields and get the other one
>suddenly he rushes back in with the tesla generator
>i see that he's about to try and run into the fields
>"LAD NO"
>"NO LAD NO"
>it's too late for him
>he flies in just as the fields close, slams into a field, and ping pongs like 40 times
>he ded
>he real ded
>admins spawn a bronze trophy named "reel gud enbingeerin" on him
>sides implode
>recover his body and set up the singulo master race engine

A good day in engineering.

ShadowDimentio · Wed May 04, 2016 12:59 am

>Be robroticist
>Be culter
>Yes
>YES
>Go to HoP
>Ocean of gibs from three corpses
>Get maint access
>Grab all the corpses from the line and from the mourge
>Set up camp south of virology in maint
>Make a wraith, arty and jugg with their corpses
>Tell the wraith to kill the AI and for the jugg and arty to stay put, killing anyone that finds them
>The rest of the cult guys show up shortly
>We spread like a tumor
>All of science is converted before long
>Security stand no chance
>Grab captain from genetics and sacrifice him to Narssy
>Summon Narssy utterly without opposition
>Laugh madly

MVP

J_Madison · Post by **J_Madison** » Wed May 04, 2016 11:37 am #173733

[youtube]e1xUOhAwDyk[/youtube]
easiest highpop nuke war of my life

ShadowDimentio · Wed May 04, 2016 3:25 pm

Ha, I was the engineer who tazed you. I didn't have shit for equipment because I had only just been cloned. Total shitshow of a round though.

Digdugxx · Post by **Digdugxx** » Wed May 04, 2016 6:25 pm #173804

>Late join as warden
>Walk past NT inspectors (who all happened to be black) inspecting cargo which happened to be on fire
>OK
>Go to brig to gear up
>Find a dirty inspector stealing some gloves, my gloves, MY KRAG NAVV GLOVES
>”UM, NO”
>Detain the dirty inspector, other officers detain the other inspectors because why not
>Put them in holding cell
>JUSTICE
>ERT arrived and took this the wrong way and decide to try to arrest me
>don’t think so
>cue armoury firefight (my tazers vs ERT’s fucking pulse rifles)
>Sec department proceeds to arrest the dirt ERT and shove them back into the holding cell
>JUSTICE
>ERT happened to also be black after removing their armour (they begin inciting racism claims)
>Pick up one of their Centcom headsets
>Overhear them saying something about deathsquid
>OHSHIT.JPEG
>Station prepares to hold off the impending shitstorm
>They announce their arrival by tearing up the brig with their pulse rifles
>I flank around and use my l3t3 skillz to knock one down with my KRAG NAVV gloves and then kill him with his own gun
>GETFUCKED.BMP
>Take off his shit and dress as fellow deathsquid
>Go around single handily picking off every member of the deathsquid until none remain
>Didn’t even get a trophy cup
>Suicide because I can’t live with all the black people lives I’ve taken
>Get greeted with a shitstorm argument in dead chat about whose fault it was that they got BTFO.
Feelsgoodman.PROPERTIES

Tl;dr: A death squad had to die because an inspector stole my gloves.

Digdugxx · Post by **Digdugxx** » Wed May 04, 2016 6:32 pm #173808

>Be changeling detective
>Yes please
>Decide to have some top quality memes by making a ligger zoo in xeno
>Get science access
>Invade xenobio and detain the ligger working there
>Mute sting and undress the dirty ligger on the spot
>RD comes in
>Things about to get messy
>Mute sting ligger again so he can’t snitch
>Too late, he managed to shout help
>RD knows too much
>Now the zoo has to hold the RD too
>Detain RD and shit
>Put them both into the ligger zoo with force field up so they can’t possibly escape or call for help along with his pets he made from golden slimes
>Lookinggood.TXT
>Ambush the chaplain and force him into the zoo as well
>Receiving hurtful comments about how I’m an asshole and I should let them go
>Fuck no
>Close blast doors to stop the hate
>Emergency shuttle docks because someone called it 10 mins into round
>Decide the last thing I’m going to do is hold a death match
>Kidnap the CE as he’s running to shuttle
>Shove him into the zoo with his hard suit and tool belt still on
>Zoo animals scream at him to deconstruct the wall so they could escape
>Don’t think so
>Get plasma can from toxins storage and open it in the zoo
>Zoo animals turn savage murder the CE for his hard suit and internals so they can survive the plasma
>Only one remains
>What a legend
>Release him
>I’m crying at this point
>Round ends
>GG

ShadowDimentio · Wed May 04, 2016 10:13 pm

I was the R&D roboticist that round. Got killed by a scientist because he kept trying to throw me out of R&D after I did all the work, so I reset it all because he was being a dick.

Digdugxx · Post by **Digdugxx** » Wed May 04, 2016 10:40 pm #173870

Haha, shame he wasn't one of the people I kidnapped!

Pilgrim · Post by **Pilgrim** » Sat May 07, 2016 8:11 am #174633

>Box station Chef round
>Cooking up some mad imitation seafood (it's all about the koibeans son) and plotting to acquire carpotoxin
>Thanks botan- HOLY FUCK YOU'RE A DOUBLE AGENT NOW
>Yeah whatever
>Roboticist clambers over my table while I'm microwaving some steak, beelines to the dinnerware vending machine
>Yeeeaaaa I know what you're in here for, fuck off. I push him away. He asks for a knife after and I tell him to go away
>He pushes me and tries to snag a knife that he just dispensed, I get up and push him down, drawing my own sharpened knife. He yakkety saxes out
>Return to creating culinary mastercrafts, when suddenly he runs past
>ITS A BOMB.jpg
>Firebomb lands right on the vending machine as I pass by it, I get the fuck out of there right before the explosion
>Fparks shoot from the vending machine and all its contents spill out, fire destroys some nearby tiles, patrons at the bar see a hole blown in the wall and i am engulfed in fire as i run toward the freezer for a safe place to put it out
>As a borg makes itsway in for repairs, i barrel past it, swear vengeance, and begin the hunt
>Space bears and carp in the loose in escape with many crew congregating to fight them off, i lurk and ask anyone around if they've seen the roboticist
>All of them say no, but I bump into him in the library
>Begin preparing my next burger, when suddenly
>It's a bo- NO IT'S A FUCKING FLAMETHROWER
>Jet of fire encases me, but i press on slashing him and he begins to back out of the library into the hallway
>He fires again and steps into the flame on accident, i collapse from the damage and he extinguishes himself
>Passerby who see this go on and lynch him, while i die of my wounds. I am carried to my cloner
>Emerge naked and victorious when I see the body of the slain roboticist in the genetics room. Surprised that he's in there but relatively sure that he's at the back of the line, I begin recovering my belongings and looting his
>Suddenly, he pops out of the cloning device! I scream bloody murder and begin punching him, much to the chagrin of the confused and overburdened geneticist
>Some dude with another body comes in through the door and the roboticist makes his escape. I physcially REEEE and swear I will hunt him as long as he lives
>Now's my chance. Two blobs have appeared in the station and security is distributing weapons, almost every crewman's armed to the teeth
>I grab a laser gun and begin asking around if they've seen an Unknown or a roboticist lurking about, they mention they saw him right outside of aux tool storage
>I ambush him, chasing him into maint
>He whips out another flamethrower and burns me to death
>sike nigga he's refilling it at a welding fuel tank which I BLOW THE SHIT OUT OF
>Alarmed passerby beat me up a bit but after reassuring he's a traitor they leave
>I grab his flaming corpse and begin dragging it to be spaced, when suddenly some passerby on their way to medbay drag him along
>I chase after them, frothing at the mouth at how he's a bloody traitor
>Get into medbay and see them throw the roboticist into a sleeper, I scream at them to eject him and... wait a sec, the guy in here isn't the roboticist
>Whip around and get plugged with a stetchkin by the cackling roboticist who had somehow recovered, i collapse
>Out of nowhere some guy whips out an esword and kills us both
>stalemate.jpg
>Traitor gets fucced by the aforementioned armed crew, i get taken to get clone and the geneticist gets the message this time, keeping his body in the morgue
>After recovering my belongings, i snatch his body bag from the morgue and salute his coffin as i space it

And more recently
>Playing as Detective, hanging out in the Metastation bar 5 minutes before the escape shuttle comes
>Chemist smashes a bottle over my head and lights me on fire, "PRANKED" she says over her shoulder as she flies out the door and I roll it out on the floor
>Get up and lurk around for a bit, find her in the bar hallway again and fire my gun at her, then fire it at her again, then... *click*
>Fugg, i hadn't reloaded from an earlier encounter with a graytider
>Whip out my police baton, i get humiliated as she disarms me, picks it up, and beats me with it
>She runs away
>Infuriated i load my gun and begin prowling the halls, and when the shuttle comes i check the arrivals escape pod to make sure she isn't going to cheese me out of revenge
>Make my way into the shuttle and keep my eyes peeled, spot her in the bridge of the shuttle robusting the CE with my baton then getting her with cable restraints
>Spot a miner who somehow acquired a crate full of riot shotguns
>loose

.jpg
>push the miner aside, pick up a shotgun and push my way through the mob of spectators by the command door
>mask my intentions by throwing my satchel full of confiscated tator goodies at some chucklefuck assistant behind me and strapping the shotgun to my back
>watch as a mediborg and the CE struggle with the chemist, who isn't really doing anything lethal, just batoning the CE and trolling them
>yell at them to open up, the borg accidentally does and I shove my way through
>take aim at the chemist who hasn't really registered im there
>*click*
>fugg
>*chickCHICK*
>there we go
>Chemist notices and makes a run for the EVA suit room
>Barrel my way past the mediborg who realizes what I'm doing and fucking blast the chemist point blank, stunning her and catching the borg with some of the spread
>Borg gets out of there to avoid damage, i pull out a bottle of vodka i'd asked for from the bartender after the chemist broke one over me
>smash it in her face and set her on fire with my zippo lighter
>

confused rock · Sun May 08, 2016 5:22 pm

>normal ish round
>grab the greentext book
>about to get onto a pod when space lag crashes me
>infinite salt
>next round
>wizard
>objective to get the greentext
>in the process save a chemist with no arms and 1 leg with the words "valid" over their head (who later betrays me)
>never have to revive once but lich does save me
>throughout the round random lag spikes nearly fuck me over many times and makes me lose the greentext twice
>round ends
>lag spike
>"oh shit did I crash"
>nope
>The chat bar is filled with this repeated over and over

the wizards/witches were:
The unloved rock was Lucky-As-Fuck (survived)
Objective #1: Obtain the mythical Greentext at any cost. Success!
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle or an escape pod alive and without being in custody.Success!
Objective #3: Succeed Success!
Objective #4: Succeed Success!
Objective #5: Succeed Success!
Objective #6: Succeed Success!
Objective #7: Succeed Success!
Objective #8: Succeed Success!
Objective #9: Succeed Success!
Objective #10: Succeed Success!
Objective #11: Succeed Success!
Objective #12: Succeed Success!
Objective #13: Succeed Success!
Objective #14: Succeed Success!
Objective #15: Succeed Success!
Objective #16: Succeed Success!
Objective #17: Succeed Success!
Objective #18: Succeed Success!
Objective #19: Succeed Success!
Objective #20: Succeed Success!
Objective #21: Succeed Success!
Objective #22: Succeed Success!
Objective #23: Succeed Success!
Objective #24: Succeed Success!
Objective #25: Succeed Success!
Objective #26: Succeed Success!
Objective #27: Succeed Success!
Objective #28: Succeed Success!
Objective #29: Succeed Success!
Objective #30: Succeed Success!
Objective #31: Succeed Success!
Objective #32: Succeed Success!
Objective #33: Succeed Success!
Objective #34: Succeed Success!
Objective #35: Succeed Success!
Objective #36: Succeed Success!
Objective #37: Succeed Success!
Objective #38: Succeed Success!
Objective #39: Succeed Success!
Objective #40: Succeed Success!
Objective #41: Succeed Success!
Objective #42: Succeed Success!
Objective #43: Succeed Success!
Objective #44: Succeed Success!
Objective #45: Succeed Success!
Objective #46: Succeed Success!
Objective #47: Succeed Success!
Objective #48: Succeed Success!
Objective #49: Succeed Success!
Objective #50: Succeed Success!
Objective #51: Succeed Success!
Objective #52: Succeed Success!
Objective #53: Succeed Success!
Objective #54: Succeed Success!
Objective #55: Succeed Success!
Objective #56: Succeed Success!
Objective #57: Succeed Success!
Objective #58: Succeed Success!
Objective #59: Succeed Success!
The wizard was successful!
Lucky-As-Fuck used the following spells: RISE!, Magic Missile, Ethereal Jaunt, Mutate, Stop Time

cocothegogo · Post by **cocothegogo** » Mon May 09, 2016 2:11 am #174990

Suicide at round start and as soon as I suicide turns out admins are bluespacing aliens into xeno. Spot prison shuttle ghost role, just me and some other dude Peyton. We dress as security and turns out we were both prisoners for the same reason, unauthorized sexual conduct. We make our way down the asteroid and Peyton is bleeding out at this point, find a miner just in time and saves us, takes us back to the station. We then have the great idea of going to the HoP and pretending we're security officers from the mining post and getting security IDs. HoP says he'll give us access if we do a job for him, turns out he's a traitor and needs a security officer Elric killed and we agree. We get into sec end up killing Elric, half of sec and the CE for trying to arrest the Captain who refuses to let the shuttle be called (Throw your soldiers into positions whence there is no escape, and they will prefer death to flight.) Make our way to the pods, CE thinks the Captain hired us to kill her so we get away free, turns out the aliens are getting rowdy so I PDA the HoP asking if he wants to get on our pod, he turns up and we think we've escaped when aliens burst through the window and grab him 5 seconds before the shuttle launches. We escaped at least.

10/10 round

Post by **MMMiracles** » Mon May 09, 2016 3:05 am #174997

>haven't played an actual game in months
>sign up as miner to actually try out lavaland
>get RD instead
>get pAI buddy to talk to, knives
>don't remember shit, walk around putting shit into the decon
>15-20 minutes, no sign of miners
>magni comes in, decide to say 'fuck it' and go out to mining myself
>get access, hurdle over several sandbags cargo used to barricade themselves in (why??)
>go to mining outpost. walk out EVA door
>watcher engages me, KA in one hand drill in other lets go fucker
>"You need both hands to use the kinetic accelerator!"
>bolted
>lag
>come back dead
>ash walker carrying a giant fucking cart of bodies rolls right up to me
>"fuck"
>hes actually chill and gets me back to cloning with help of pAI
>cloned, go back to testing range, theres a leather jacket and bandana for whatever reason
>become cool skateboarder by crafting skateboard and dawning new rad clothing
>immediately run straight into airlock
>skate around, run into several things including a morph disguised as vomit trying to escape security officers
>skate past crime scene of lizard kidnapping cargo tech with ebow as i slam into wall
>cargo tech runs by in cuffs, i decide to be an hero by chasing after lizard with my shitty telebaton and a dream
>slam straight into a wall
>ebow
>dragged to vacant office, cuffed
>last sight i see before loosing connection is like 3 people on the ground, all their limbs cut off, begging for me to call for help
>log back into being naked on a bed as im sawed to death
>my harm alarm goes off, alerting the whole station to the horrible place
>hulk literally bursts through the wall as security and other people swarm, lizard somehow got away i dont even know
>everyone but me and the clown are dragged off
>clown isn't dead, just a stump of her former self
>clown cries alone as shuttle departs because thats all they can do now

p good introduction round after a break, would get cut up again

confused rock · Mon May 09, 2016 5:18 am

MMMiracles wrote:>haven't played an actual game in months
>sign up as miner to actually try out lavaland
>get RD instead
>get pAI buddy to talk to, knives
>don't remember shit, walk around putting shit into the decon
>15-20 minutes, no sign of miners
>magni comes in, decide to say 'fuck it' and go out to mining myself
>get access, hurdle over several sandbags cargo used to barricade themselves in (why??)
>go to mining outpost. walk out EVA door
>watcher engages me, KA in one hand drill in other lets go fucker
>"You need both hands to use the kinetic accelerator!"
>bolted
>lag
>come back dead
>ash walker carrying a giant fucking cart of bodies rolls right up to me
>"fuck"
>hes actually chill and gets me back to cloning with help of pAI
>cloned, go back to testing range, theres a leather jacket and bandana for whatever reason
>become cool skateboarder by crafting skateboard and dawning new rad clothing
>immediately run straight into airlock
>skate around, run into several things including a morph disguised as vomit trying to escape security officers
>skate past crime scene of lizard kidnapping cargo tech with ebow as i slam into wall
>cargo tech runs by in cuffs, i decide to be an hero by chasing after lizard with my shitty telebaton and a dream
>slam straight into a wall
>ebow
>dragged to vacant office, cuffed
>last sight i see before loosing connection is like 3 people on the ground, all their limbs cut off, begging for me to call for help
>log back into being naked on a bed as im sawed to death
>my harm alarm goes off, alerting the whole station to the horrible place
>hulk literally bursts through the wall as security and other people swarm, lizard somehow got away i dont even know
>everyone but me and the clown are dragged off
>clown isn't dead, just a stump of her former self
>clown cries alone as shuttle departs because thats all they can do now

p good introduction round after a break, would get cut up again

as the lizard
>literally the night dismemberment is added
>try to do this meme gimmick after getting traitor twice
>begin kidnapping people
>woops somebody uses suit sensors for once
>flop horridly
>next round, also a traitor
>flop horridly because the first guy I try it on is robust with his intercoms
>everybody calls me a murderboner in deadchat
>vow for revenge
>very rarely get traitor (I literally got blob and wizard more often)
>the one time I get it I use slim jim karate to throw bgo 20 tiles down a hallway
>be suddenly doctor
>fuck this I am oding on the demonomicon thingy
>woops traitor
>fuck off into dorms
>plan for ebow+esword to remove limbs but realise that would not work because of radios
>get ebow+agent card+surgery duffle+emp flash instead
>capture cj after seeing him getting beat up in medbay
>in maint
>randomly shuriken is thrown and hits me
>shit pants and run away
>for some reason whoever threw the shuriken at me is gone and didn't say anything
>cj just wants to minbomb cloning before I kill him as he was a syndie
>let him do it because fuck it and I didn't want to kill him anyway
>immediately after confirm that a nearby doctor is 100% alone
>after a quick miss and hit on the second try, emp flash them and cable cuff
>they complain they just got here
>drag them to vacant office and fake wall in casually even after quickly sprinting through the hall past the hos as they scream for help
>make surgery next, surround the bed with tables so people missing 1 arm cannot try to climb out
>remove all the limbs slowly
>leave them thrown in the corner of the room and promise they will not be lonely soon
>try to shoot a cargo tech and miss or something I don't remember
>shoot a sec officer instead
>bring them there
>surgically remove limbs and stuff again
>they demand I come over to them so they can bite off my kneecaps
>randomly clown goes over to vacant office and shoves the fake wall
>ebow them and shit
>realize I can just circular saw the limbs off and administer loads of brute patches/bruise packs and they will survive with it taking far less time
>do it
>everyone is horrified by now
>Decide to remove 1 persons tongue
>the clown is the most annoying and refuses to shut up
>remove the tongue
>suddenly captain opens the door to vacant office for no reason
>sec is like OH PRAISE THE LORD SAVE US
>chase after the cap
>he gets a solid 2 disablers on me
>shoot blindly down the hall with the ebow where I thought he was
>dodge the incoming disabler
>he is downed, I discover as I come closer
>ebow him again for good measure
>he vomits
>emp flashlight RIGHT before he can yell for help
>ebow him again and cable cuff
>he vomits again
>come back to the base with him
>everybody starts screaming and crying
>space carp drama outside makes people almost think they are being rescued, and they scream at the wall in hopes they will hear
>chop off all the captain's limbs after assuming we are safe
>buckle him to a chair
>he goes catatonic after I leave to hunt again
>drag a bleeding out guy who slipped on lube back after hiding them in a body bag
>debrain him
>use the mmi in the surgery dufflebag
>demand they choose who I kill
>they understand that if they yell over radio they will all die
>they do not answer in the 10 seconds
>pop the brain out
>decide to grab another brain as the shuttle nears
>grab cargo guy
>assume the pai, knives, screaming for help is on this guy as I use a bunch of emp flashlight charges on him and slip on lube
>he runs
>get up
>go back
>skateboard guy is my target
>they run into a wall
>drag them up, use an ebow more than likely needed in the panic, use the flashlight, and cable cuff
>drag into vacant office
>lag spike
>throw them into my surgery chamber of a bed surrounded by tables
>begin trying to saw off their head and remove the brain from the head as it is faster than standard debraining
>realize in the middle of it the pai is screaming
>incredibly confused but remain calm and just rush it
>give up on the brain and plan to shove the 2 remaining non catatonic stumps with tongues in a body bag and drag it onto a pod
>but first check if the pai is in the pile of pdas
>too late
>hulk smashes through the wall
>run away
>random shitty lizard officer uses like 30 flashbangs but I dodge every one
>realize I cannot abandon my poor stumps
>go back to save them and die
>clown stump could not call for help without a tongue and is deserted
>the remaining 2 stumps are brought onto the goof suicide shuttle
>pai was on the greytider who I learn is the rd

I knew I could do a gimmick that isn't slim jims

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Mon May 09, 2016 5:27 am #175017

>limbless, screaming, suffering clown in the corner

I gotta get the time to play holy fuck dismemberment sounds so fun.