Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

[mapoot]

Bottom post of the previous page:

Just played my first round as captain! I don't know why it took me ~4 years to try it out. Maybe I wanted to keep that patch of snow untrodden, so SS13 wasn't completely 'done'.

I went for the tried and tested gimmick of rage cage in the bar. It was an elegantly simple glass oblong, furnished with a table and a chair for maximum WWE slamming. The rule was bare knuckle--or seating implement--to the death, enforced by the door remote on the toggle bolts setting. Initially, I was worried nobody would give a shit about my antics, but I guess they did, because before long the floor was very grey and very red. As the fights went on, the crowd grew, and the atmosphere with it. Some geezer hopped on the stage piano, and people were chanting "BLOOD!! KILL!!" whenever somebody was knocked to the floor. I hadn't done it in an original way, but I was happy to be the sort of captain that brought the server together to have fun.

After my own fight, I ducked out of the bar and headed to the bridge to heal up, where I was promptly fireballed to death by a wizard (4noraisin). I was pretty salty, to the point of saying "nice frag" after he sharded me. He lobbed me in a juggernaut, told me to do everybody in, and jaunted away. After I'd murdered the mime, and been murdered by the detective (a longer period of time than you might imagine), I had the chance to ghost around my station. Half of the crew were now metal slaves to the wizard; the other half was being killed by them. High-traffic public areas were open to space, almost every departmental machine was in pieces, and the chef possessed the entire armoury. Every time somebody new arrived, they were immediately set upon by a tornado of left-clicking artificers (>OOC: Some guy: This is the last time I ever join mid-round.) We stayed in green alert almost all the way to shuttle arrival. Weirdly, it felt great that things had gone so wrong under my captainship.

I think it's a suitable note to leave SS13 on. I've been playing on /tg/station since I was a fresh-faced 16 year old, and reading about it on 4chan since I was 15. It captured my imagination so much! But now I've clocked MANY hours and am very burnt out I think a lot of the magic of this game comes from having no clue what is going on, from the possibility of what if, who knows?
I'm not a well-known member of the community and I know nobody cares, but it feels wrong to call it a day without sharing a bit of space banter and saying bye.

This game and this server specifically will always be a part of my late teens notalgia, so cheers a lot to all the staff and to anybody I ever ran into who was cool. See you space assholes

[PKPenguin321]

seeya man. game's always changing so drop back in in maybe like 6 months. i burned out a couple months ago and played very rarely but have been getting back into it recently, lots of things are new and different that i didnt expect and it's making me feel like an idiot but it's also a blast

[mapoot]

seeya man. game's always changing so drop back in in maybe like 6 months. i burned out a couple months ago and played very rarely but have been getting back into it recently, lots of things are new and different that i didnt expect and it's making me feel like an idiot but it's also a blast

This isn't a bad idea, I took a long-ish break before and came back to veegee lighting and some other goodies. Yeah, maybe I'll swing around again some time in mid 2019 and see what's happening. Nevertheless, I don't think this game is ever going to feel like it did in 2015 again, and that's fine. Take it easy, man

[bman]

[gum disease]

>go to get borged
>as my head is in the MMI, I notice the roboticist acting shady
>sec officer assigned to the science department pops by to say hello
>the roboticist is acting more shady and jumpy and wants to know why the officer is even there
>i'm asking her to put me in the borg shell but she's not doing it
>claims that she'll do it once she's certain the officer (who was a zombie) isn't going to kill her
>like at this point it's fucking obvious she's going to emag me
>i even point out that i'd be obligated to protect her from harm so she has nothing to worry about but she still won't borg me
>officer leaves and i'm kinda dying inside because he should've been somewhat suspicious
>she then says she's not going to borg me until my battery is changed
>i'm like "nah it's fine, i just wanna get to helping people as quickly as possible."
>"look i'm not borging you until your battery is changed."
>takes my brain out the MMI repeatedly and this goes on for about 20 minutes
>threatens me repeatedly in between playing hot potato with my brain
>i acquiesce to letting her borg me, no point in shouting for help over comms because she's likely turned that off and i'd just be fucking myself over
>too bad she forgot one thing; i'm a vampire
>moment she borgs me i shapeshift and peace the fuck out via ventcrawling
>snitch and she gets arrested

Nothing better than cucking someone holding you hostage like that.

[confused rock]

>assistant on delta with no captains
>ops do war
>tell hop master plan
>basically we hide the disk in a secure briefcase with a tracking beacon. ops steal briefcase from ai upload, thinking our defense was just trash, and we teleport onto the syndicate infiltrator, at worst winning and at best nuking the op base.
>he thinks I'm a genius
>hastily grab disk, briefcase, beacon, egun, hand teleporter, and megaphone.
>steve mic the sec officer is always following me around, so I assume he has a pinpointer.
>hold meeting at bridge and use megaphone to talk
>roughly 20 people show up
>manage to get most of my plan across
>pepper black keeps fucking disarming me of my megaphone for no goddamn reason until it disrupts the meeting
>no time to hear people's responses but one lizard says "If it works, you're a hero. If it doesn't, you're a shit"
>borgs are being shitty and make it hard to access the deltastation upload
>have to physically drag assistants out of the upload after and chuck them in the teleporter
>get roughly 12 people ready at the teleporter
>ops come
>see beacon move to space
>see it on infiltrator!!!
>try to set the beacon to infiltrator and tell people to go
>every second the beacon gets changed to a location like the aux mining base or abandoned teleporter, only suspect I can see is a shitty ass peacekeeper borg
>by the time I can get it in order, the signal to the infiltrator is lost and I am teleported to the aux mining base, having to hand tele back
>It doesn't work, I'm a shit.
>people warped into the ai sat instead
>think we're doomed and angrily write an announcement defending myself as pepper continues to insult me
>hear screams of all the ops being at the ai sat
>decide I might as well die and style and go there, thinking it's odd that they haven't nuked us yet.
>dual eswords, c20s, and shielded suits everywhere, hull breaches galore. only my captain hoodie protects me
>see plenty of corpses of armed and armored crewmembers
>op with a dual esword is on me
>bail to ai chamber and drag a corpse
>dude approaches slowly, a medborg is behind me
>throw the corpse at him
>knock him down
>bwam his ass
>bwam c20 op that comes in afterwards
>AI complements me on being a very handsome badass and I apologize for the fact that we're probably still doomed
>booms hurt a fuckton when the ops die
>in crit, hope for mediborg to help me
>learn I have regen coma
>grab corpse of steve mic and teleport out, remembering him following me around. he might've had a pinpointer!
>I was right, he has one. grab it.
>see disk to the south somewhere, decide to grab the cmo's hardsuit and heal up
>grab cmo's hardsuit and heal up
>lets see where the disk i- huh? it's green?
>pinpointer was from a steve mic, and a lizard named steve-from-minecraft has the disk just lying around
>I am very interested in how he obtained this disk but my hearing damage prevents me learning this information, I just assume an op exploded carrying it.
>just grab the disk and pass him my pinpointer and CREW MAJOR VICTORY?
>even though we didn't teleport everyone onto the syndicate infiltrator, we still managed to get just enough people to ambush the ops at the ai sat to stand a chance against ops who directly gained the disk
>learn that one op suspected something was up from the teleporter so they decided to c4 the briefcase, leading to steve recovering it.
>I manage to postpone accidentally destroying the station yet another day

[Yakumo_Chen]

Nothing better than cucking someone holding you hostage like that.

sounds more like you are a shitter borg player abusing exploits.

The robo should have just used a multitool on the shell to lock it down though before putting you in the shell

[somerandomguy]

Nothing better than cucking someone holding you hostage like that.

sounds more like you are a shitter borg player abusing exploits.

The robo should have just used a multitool on the shell to lock it down though before putting you in the shell

>exploits
That's literally just the robo being stupid as hell
>shitter
??????
Law 1, emagging causes probable unstoppable (by the borg) harm
Avoiding it is the only option

[gum disease]

Nothing better than cucking someone holding you hostage like that.

sounds more like you are a shitter borg player abusing exploits.

The robo should have just used a multitool on the shell to lock it down though before putting you in the shell

>getting called a shitter by marisa "no fun allowed" kirasame

i'm laffing.

sorry that i protected my existence from someone who clearly meant me harm (threatened they would kill me/permanently silence me) unless i did what they said, given that they repeatedly did that to me for over 20 minutes while i was helpless as an MMI.
i'd also like to know how this is any different from borgs/MMI's being able to use wizard spells like fireball (assuming they have those abilities prior to being borged). are those exploits as well?

[DemonFiren]

hold on, what was that borg's lawset

[bman]

Nothing better than cucking someone holding you hostage like that.

sounds more like you are a shitter borg player abusing exploits.

The robo should have just used a multitool on the shell to lock it down though before putting you in the shell

t. goes to derelict for unlocked machine board

[center]Nuclear Johnson[/center]

---

>in ooc say "ROLLING FOR ANTEG" as a joke
>get it
>tc trade to get 25 plutonium cores in my body, along with a geiger counter
>become the super green radioactive man known as NUCLEAR JOHNSON
>walk around the station giving people cancer
>my radiation is so high my geiger counter is constantly on red and screeching horribly
>people get angry
>two guys throw me next to the SM
>just standing next to the radiation collectors triples their power output
>break out using pure radiation
>find an experimental cloning machine set up on the station, the kind that makes sentient copies of you
>clone myself repeatedly until there's a lot of nuclear johnsons, who are only a fraction as radioactive as me though, but our radiation added up.
>run around the station with my clones, in escape a sec officer keeps trying to tase me but the Stable Johnsons keep stopping him and helping me
>we ride on the shuttle giving everyone cancer

>next round say "rolling for anteg" in ooc again
>get traitor again, and the round after too.

[confused rock]

>donutstation
>being an engi so people can not die
>CE is threatening to turn on the PA early if I don't set up containment fast enough
>barely finish it in time, other engi fucked off somewhere
>whatever, do engishit
>keep having to fix up security after alleged revs fuck it up but its my job so
>check back in engi at singulo
>pa is set to fucking 3
>immediately shut it off and damage it
>singulo was at stage 3
>immediately sprint to sec and explain to them the situation
>they just tell me to fuck off
>grab nearest person, a clown breaking into sec
>after some convincing, he reluctantly follows me into engineering, which the ce has bolted. had to crawl under flaps.
>immediately disable the repaired PA and attack the CE
>after a struggle, clown and I defeat the CE. the clown refuses any reward and leaves quietly.
>Ce spends his dying breaths calling me 'meta' and saying he's gonna call the gods blah blah blah
>round ends a minute later
>it was actually revs, the CE was trying to release the singulo as a nonantag and got away with it
>in ooc the ce calls me all kinds of bad meta names and talks about how he just wanted to get it to stage 4 and says I should be banned for metagrudge
>literally never seen this guy in my life
>come to the conclusion that no matter what I do in this game people will be irrationally angry at me and I don't need to worry myself so much any more

Stories of EPIC

[DemonFiren]

he who fights monsters

[confused rock]

>metastation
>things are generally buggy
>engineering my engineer hard as fuck
>in medbay when suddenly a rod form bursts through a wall
>another engineer immediately sprints over and welderbombs the wiz, killing it
>after the smoke clears, feel depression as everyone ignores the dying engineer except for me
>more wizards
>decide to grab a fire axe from bridge
>grab fire axe from bridge
>in medbay when suddenly a two guardian spirits bursts through a wizard who just warped in
>another two hits with the fire axe immediately removes the lungs from the wiz, killing it
>after the smoke clears, feel depression knowing how unbalanced disemboweling is but it stayed in the game, nobody wanting to fix the majority of combat, everyone just fixing a single one of its flaws that recently killed them
>more SWARMERS
>decide to grab the tarot deck from the wizard's backpack for a dextrous stand
>grab tarot deck from the wizard's backpack for a dextrous stand
>cancer red is online
>can't reach medbay because swarmers, cancer red swats them but they disabler me
>after a while, realise what the stamina bug that an admin notice was warning about entailed- my stamina isn't regenerating at all, it seems. or incredibly slowly.
>remember nicotine helps with stamina
>force cancer red to go around begging people to buy me a pack of cigarettes, like a small child asking an adult. most just laser it.
>hear about a blob existing
>hear ce crying for help at dorms, and go there
>the hop agrees to buy me cigs as the ce staggers to his feet
>swarmers fall, everyone disablered.
>nicotine is not enough to fix both of my crippled arms
>cancer red staggers around until we learn the ce is crippled in the firing range
>go to firing range
>sec officer in armor is the only one standing against the swarmers, but not for long
>code delta
>use handsome cancer red and their dashing dexterity to slay thousands of swarmers and sweep all of the stunned masses into the security pod, saving among others the hop and ce
>sec officer who barely gets up from stamina manages to launch the pod right before the nuke happens
>escape pod lands right outside the mining base

sometimes you don't have to win to win

[wesoda25]

All im gonna say is if you guys ever meet a clown name Scrungyy, you are gonna have a lot of fun. If you’re reading this, God fucking bless, please don’t stop playing.

[InsaneHyena]

>Be Sheryl Sherman, your average HoP
>Open HoP line, do my average HoP business
>Clown throws two people in my office, who immediately use the opportunity to steal my shit
>Take out my gun and baton, defend my belongings
>End up one click pushed, my baton is taken from me, assistant batons me repeatedly as he strips me
>The other guy, meanwhile, visibly steals my ID from the console, as the clown throws the third guy inside
>The third guy does not join in, but does not help me himself
>He does scream over the radio that I'm being robbed, however
>Captain's arrival provides me a second of distraction that I need to take my baton back
>Arrest one of the shitbags, while the other one - and the clown - escape
>Me and captain perma him, spend the next ten minutes doing my job and hunting down the clown and the tider
>Clown has a license to grief, so I let him off with a warning in exchange for ratting out the assistant
>Catch and perma him. He screams that he dindu nuffin, and he didn't steal all access - he was given it by the assistant in green
>The very same whom I arrested right in my office. Likely story. Anyway, the clown ratted him out, so this is moot.

At this point, the round takes an interesting turn.

>Notice how there is an increase in lizards on the station
>None of them seem to speak Common
>Ash lizards!
>One of them disguised himself as the acting HoS I promoted five minutes ago
>I'm sure he got this gear non-violently and in a completely fair and lawful way
>The ash lizards don't seem OVERTLY aggressive, however, and seem to be integrating
>This will not stand
>Purity of our corporation must be preserved
>Announce that the ash lizards are stealing our jobs, and I'm starting a deportation campaign and paying generously for each lizard brought to me
>None of the lizards brought to me through the round were ash walkers, by the way
>CMO takes the side of the illegal immigrants and shields them
>Captain takes my side
>Deport one of the liggers to gulag with 500 points, let him earn his citizenship
>As I do it, he screams that he was born here on the station
>Yeah, likely story, Jose
>The "HoS" ashwalker disguises himself as the chaplain (I'm sure he got THIS gear non-violently too) to hide
>Recognize him by the color of his tail, baton him, take him to gulag
>Accidentally help him stand up instead of batoning him, he lubes the hallway and escapes
>I'll get you next time, Gadget
>Clown shares a book on the superiority of the white race with me, and muses that a black woman considering lizards inferior is absurd, as nobody is more inferior than me
>Resist the urge to shoot him
>Help medbay deflect the attack of violent xenobio creatures, as they're trying to create a vaccine against GIBS and brainrot that both found their way on the station
>RD has his own unique opinion on what should be done



>Return to my office afterwards
>Hiding in my locker, there's an ash walker
>He has a minibomb in his hands
>It's beeping.
>"Goodbye" - he says.
>Manage to run away far enough to avoid being gibbed
>Still lose two my limbs and fall into crit
>Warden who was passing by takes me to medbay
>I die in two seconds, of course, but the local doctor and medborg start reviving me
>It takes around 15 minutes, because I have no blood in my body and I'm missing two limbs, but they get there eventually
>Thank then from the bottom of my heart
>Tell the station the chilling tale of what happened



>You know what, I should probably vaccinate against brainrot.
>Head to medbay
>Suddenly collapse to the ground, as the vents expel foul green poison that fills my lungs
>It's a virus!
>I feel my body burn and contort in agony, as my bones warp and change shape, and my flesh is covered in rapidly growing scales



>I am...
>A lizard.
>In a karmic twist of justice, I have become what I hated
>I can not live on with the shame
>There is only one thing that can be done now
>Head to the brig in shame, hoping that nobody will recognize me on the way
>Put a cigarette into my mouth and light it
>Before putting the barrel of my energy gun to my temple and pressing the trigger

>As I join the realm of the dead, find out that the virus was released by that ash walker I gulagged for 500 points
>Two minutes later he will change the entire escape shuttle into lizards

[confused rock]

>only gulagging ash walker who tries to interact with station

[InsaneHyena]

Is it really a deportation if he doesn't come back five minutes later

[FloranOtten]

>Be Rowan Highlands, Engineer.
>I'll just build some mechs an-- YOU ARE THE TRAITOR
>Sweet.jpg
>Decide to make two durands, one for a pAI and one for myself
>Miners are doing great
>Bomb allows me to get durand researched
>Build durand suprisingly early
>Make second durand
>Both DNA locked
>ANOMALY ALERT: PYROCLASTIC ANOMALY IN DEPARTURES LOUNGE
>EXCELLENT.exe
>Decide on a phazon and a durand
>Neutralize it
>Take the core
>Make Phazon
>Spent a while fucking around waiting for my pAI to activate
>Nick second anomaly core from Science
>Decide to make two phazons
>Captain: Hey man can I borrow your Durand? I gotta kill the AI. It's rogue
>BRILLIANT.exe
>Give him Durand
>Check on AI
>AI is gone
>Later in round
>Finish second phazon
>pAI cannot be inserted
>DNA lock and leave it because rather noone have it
>See borg dragging by AI card with the old AI
>nick the card
>AI was subverted
>Is dead
>Keep in backpack
>Hear all comms
>Want to get shuttle called for my le epic murderbone
>Command comms: "Should we call shuttle?" "Nah, no reason to. Security can protect us."
>Are you sure about that
>Go to sec
>Announce my opinion on that statement
>Kill all of security and release the prisoners to prove a point
>Shuttle is called
>Single sec officer manages to get my mech to 80% integrity and 30% battery from dualwielded ion carbines before death
>Shuttle nearly here
>Phaze into execution room to avoid AI
>Prepare my suicide bomb
>Set timer to just before shuttle leaves
>Phaze into maint robotics and recharge my mech
>Shuttle arrives
>Move to shuttle, travelling via medbay to shoot some lads
>Kill a durand I'd made earlier in the round and given to an MMI to kill borgs because it shot me to try and kill me
>Move onto shuttle
>Kill a bunch of people
>Mech killed by several others equipped with dual ion carbines
>Run around shuttle waiting for my bomb to go off
>Lag out
>Client restarts
>Anxious because I know I'll be robusted when I get back
>Get back
>Shuttle gone
>Deadchat full
>Turns out, my bomb went off just after I lagged out
>Killed half the shuttle
>I killed most of the evacuation
>Gloat in deadchat

[CDranzer]

>Idle observing on Bagil
>New match, queue up to observe
>Alt tab to look for good music
>Match starts in background
>Hear some weird crackling radio noise I've never heard before
>Tab back
>You are Jason Drake
>You are the Cook
>You are the Traitor
>I accidentally queued up unprepared into my first antag
>Shit
>Okay it's fine I've read the manual
>Objectives: Steal 33 Tech Nodes, maroon Joe Fuckass the Assistant
>I have no idea how to steal tech nodes, and I'm not big on murder, but maybe my target will get killed or go braindead
>Do my job for a bit to avoid arousing suspicion
>Wander off into a dorm wardrobe to fuck around with my uplink in peace
>Analysis Paralysis, fuck it, I'll just buy an uplink implant so I can browse at my leisure
>I now have a used injector
>Fuck
>Need to get rid of it
>Disposals are too obvious and I'm not wearing gloves
>Maybe I can throw it in the dorm escape pod and hope nobody finds it
>Open pod door
>Braindead assistant
>Perfect
>Put the injector in his pocket and leave him in there
>Wander back to work with my implant in my head
>Double take
>Scroll up
>The assistant in the pod is my target
>Fuck
>Walk all the way back, drag his braindead body out of the pod and stick him in a nearby O2 locker
>Objective Complete, Probably
>Start wandering the halls, wondering how I'm going to deal with the tech side of things
>Why am I low on oxygen
>Why am I suffocating
>Make my way into medbay
>Doctor wanders past and scans me
>He tells me I need Leporazine
>It's a virus
>It's a dangerous virus
>It's a dangerous virus with a pain-in-the-ass cure
>What are the odds of me getting Leporazine before I pass out
>Thud
>That answers that question
>Promptly suffocate to death
>The virus proceeds to wipe out half the crew
>Turns out it was engineered by lavaland syndies and somehow made its way onto the station via a miner's corpse
>After about 15 minutes, the borgs and a lucky survivor manage to get a vaccine together
>People start getting cloned
>I'll get a new body
>A new body without an uplink implant
>Shit
>Wait, what's this? A random ass Magicarp with revive?
>He revives me
>Fucking sweet
>That's odd I'm not in control of my body
>Maybe I have to re-enter
>I'm in the cloning tube
>Fuck
>Whatever, at least I'm alive
>Cut my hair, get dressed, get immunized
>I still have to steal tech, somehow
>Wander over to science
>Several windows broken, people are beyond giving a shit
>Excellent
>Now how the fuck do I download tech
>Wiki isn't forthcoming
>Vague memories of tech disks
>Print one out of the protolathe
>Now how do I get the techs onto the disk
>I probably have to use the computer in the server room
>How do I get in there
>There are toolboxes in science
>Start welding through the walls
>Almost caught in the act by the fucking magicarp of all things
>Manage to break into the server room
>Try to use the disk on the computer
>It doesn't work
>Realize I'm a dumbass
>Walk back to R&D
>Stick disk into the R&D console
>Download all the techs
>Even if somebody cared enough to notice, the station is going to shit and the shuttle is imminent
>Wander back up to my escape pod
>Joe Fuckass in his locker where I left him
>Ride out of there in my own private escape pod
>End screen comes up
>All traitors failed catastrophically
>With one exception

And that's the story of how I accidentally queued into my first traitor round and somehow managed to bumble dick-first to victory in spite of effectively using 0 TC.

[wesoda25]

>chaplain
>tc trade for construct shell
>create an army of constructs
>everyone falls before us, AI is slaved and borgs emagged
>construct conga line suicides into SM
>hijack successful

3 people survived the shift. me, the guy i hijacked with, and some engi doing solars. maybe others but they hid well.

[confused rock]

any admin who gives the chaplain a construct shell in a tc trade is an idiot. chappy can crush the station with even a completely regular soul shard.

[wesoda25]

any admin who gives the chaplain a construct shell in a tc trade is an idiot. chappy can crush the station with even a completely regular soul shard.

i lowballed him got it for just 5 TC

[confused rock]

actually pls ban this admin

[Coconutwarrior97]

Worked with another engi yesterday to fight fires in science and escape, working together with him was great. Using space heaters, atmos fans, and atmos resin to contain and kill the fire. Ended up being able to make a path down to escape habitable and got the temp back to normal once shuttle arrived. Was super fun.

[SealCure]

>be malf AI
>2nd time in a day, also second time ever
>ensure no-one leaves alive, malf AI round earlier in the day was a complete fail so not confident
>start quietly hacking APCs, the roboticists are shitting out borgs so that's nice
>acting like a nice normal non-malfunctioning AI, opening doors, all that
>look in on cargo after about 30 minutes, they're building a tesla
>this could be good
>about 45 minutes in and I'm ready to delta, one of my borgs who has been quiet all round chimes in
>"oh yeah I destroyed all the EVA suits and hardsuits, cut the transit tube too"
>all the suits?
>"yeah even the CE's and captain's"
>holy shit this might actually work
>rad storm comes in, borgs start to set up atmos to plasmaflood while everyone's in maint
>"; :b yeah start flooding"
>oh shit I actually said that over common
>kinda slow reaction at first, cook is like "what did the AI just say"?
>try and blow it off but screaming at borgs to flood over binary
>go delta, looking on in amazement as none of the crew can get to the sat without eva suits
>"TESLOOSE" over comms, turns out the flood broke the emitters in cargo
>left half of the station destroyed by cargo's tesla
>crit most of the heads by blowing up the comm console on bridge that they were clustered around
>doomsday goes off, greentext in style
>first malf AI win, never felt so good

Don't think I've seen that borg that clutched the round for me ever since then. Wherever you are, stay classy Alpha 5

[teepeepee]

>be malf AI
>2nd time in a day, also second time ever
>ensure no-one leaves alive, malf AI round earlier in the day was a complete fail so not confident
>start quietly hacking APCs, the roboticists are shitting out borgs so that's nice
>acting like a nice normal non-malfunctioning AI, opening doors, all that
>look in on cargo after about 30 minutes, they're building a tesla
>this could be good
>about 45 minutes in and I'm ready to delta, one of my borgs who has been quiet all round chimes in
>"oh yeah I destroyed all the EVA suits and hardsuits, cut the transit tube too"
>all the suits?
>"yeah even the CE's and captain's"
>holy shit this might actually work
>rad storm comes in, borgs start to set up atmos to plasmaflood while everyone's in maint
>"; :b yeah start flooding"
>oh shit I actually said that over common
>kinda slow reaction at first, cook is like "what did the AI just say"?
>try and blow it off but screaming at borgs to flood over binary
>go delta, looking on in amazement as none of the crew can get to the sat without eva suits
>"TESLOOSE" over comms, turns out the flood broke the emitters in cargo
>left half of the station destroyed by cargo's tesla
>crit most of the heads by blowing up the comm console on bridge that they were clustered around
>doomsday goes off, greentext in style
>first malf AI win, never felt so good

Don't think I've seen that borg that clutched the round for me ever since then. Wherever you are, stay classy Alpha 5

lol you're lucky, depending on placement tesloose tends to go straight for AI sat

[SealCure]

lol you're lucky, depending on placement tesloose tends to go straight for AI sat

Yeah sometimes but this was meta and the tesla started in cargo and went down through medbay to escape so I wasn't too worried

[Asdf3131]

>be me, clown man jimmy honks
>decide to craft honkbot
>flashed by some nerd on the way to tool storage, newfound hatred for heads and sec
>free assistant who is also rev from handcuffs, we break into bridge and cap's office
>take cap armor and headset, funny clown captain
>wandering the halls when mothperson drags me to chapel and asks to be cremated
>welderbombs into chaplain's office and deconstructs crematorium wall without eye protection
>guess she really wants it
>ahelp before cremating her anyway because i'm a good boy, admin responds to say sure why not
>find stunprod on the floor and save it for later on my armor vest
>at this point sec is fighting revs and implanting
>decide to chill and not blow my cover yet
>do hilarious clown prank by placing hop line tickets 6 and 9 next to each other
>head towards brig looking for action, see headrev get stunned by sec
>throw stunprod at officer
>it actually stuns him
>baton turns the tide of the battle, headrev is saved
>other dude helps us kill loyalist and officer
>bwoink
>"nice baton throw"
>same admin from earlier gives me champion baton thrower trophy
>loot ID and new baton from dead officer, notice dead headrev in a cell
>let some janitor into brig with me because he wants to clean up bloodstains
>smuggle headrev inside a locker right under captain's nose into now loyalist-controlled medbay, toss him in the cloning queue
>hide in plain sight while we wait for headrev to get cloned because nobody suspects the clown
>other rev is there and offers me a baton
>"already got one baby"
>officer walks in on our transaction, hide in locker while other rev makes small talk
>captain takes cloned headrev and butchers him with his sword
>other rev and i decide it's now or never, head to front of medbay
>captain is beating up a different horizontal headrev
>champion baton thrower skills come through again, captain is now stunned
>other rev and i go to town, captain is now dead
>bwoink again
>"nice baton throw" again
>moments later immovable rod
>[Common] Jimmy Honks says, "I doubt it's longer than mine"
>rod kills last surviving head
>revs win

[Calibraptor]

>Be me, security officer assigned to engineering
>CE is actually competent and orders me to boot out trespassers
>"Aye aye sir."
>Bumrush the engine room to grab myself a pair of much coveted insulated gloves
>On my way out spot some assistant rushing into atmos
>Not on my goddamn watch
>Chase after him, whip out baton to show him I mean business
>He whips out a contractor baton
>duel of the fates.ogg
>We're both running, juking, and spazzing about across atmosia trying to click on the other first
>I actually manage to get him
>He cries out in despair as he goes horizontal
>The despair of having ones antag round cut tragically short
>A fledgling bud snipped before it can truly bloom
>So sad
>He ghosts at some point while I drag him to perma
>Actually feel kind of bad for him
>Ask admins if they can put him back in his body
>Take a bribe of some sweet weeaboo ninja gear in exchange for his freedom
>Run off to take a smoke break
>As I'm perusing the cigarette vendor cultist pops out of maint and stuns me
>Get murdered and shoved into a soul stone
>Be me, now a wraith
>Cultists tell me to go take out the AI
>Teleport into AI core
>Apologize to the AI about it's impending death
>AI is cool about it
>Slash it to death and go to escape
>Aimlessly wander the halls, most people I see either run or don't give two shits about me
>Go to the bar
>Begin preaching to the bartender about my hip new religion
>Assistant tries to pick a fight with me but is quickly frightened off when I competently fight back
>Give the bartender my good wishes and wander over to the brig
>See HOS inside the brig, the cult's target
>Approach glass
>"EXCUSE ME SIR DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT NAR'SIE?"
>HOS steps out and wordlessly buckshots me into dust
>Admin in deadchat lol'd
>Decide to check on the contractor I let go earlier
>He's killing pretty much everybody, not a big surprise
>Mention in OOC after round-end that I ended up sparing him
>Somebody calls me a shitter
>They weren't wrong

[wesoda25]

i started a humble exploding cigar shop and expanded my inventory to half of the caps locker, all access, epilepsy, like 8 fake insulated gloves, information on traitors, and a living mothman

total profit was about 750, not counting inventory worth

[wesoda25]

>ling
>kill random sec officer and transform into them
>start killing off certain people and transforming them into me
>lynch mob catches up, like 5 people trying to get me
>kill them all and transform them into me
>end up having to headslug, turn into myself
>go around talking about how I killed me
>quietly kill off all the other people with my identity
>keep shouting about how the real me is somewhere

and that sir is why lings are fun to play cancer to fight DGL for headmin fall 2019

[confused rock]

>assistant
>punch someone
>officer tries to arrests me
>shoots me with dragnet
>land in armory
>warden isn't home

[Shadowflame909]

>Be Blood-Brother
>Ah Fuck I thought I had this disabled
>Roll scientist
>My blood-brother is also scientist
>Xenobio time
>Decide on light pink extract roller skate combat
>Working towards it
>Taking forever.mp3
>Get green slimes, whilst my partner is on RND
>Have an Idea. "Boh Bomb balooza"
>Call them in
>They get the boh bags in a locker
>I grab plasma
>We mutate into slime persons and start chugging plasma
>Crew gave out all access for some reason
>Next thing you know Security Is gone
>Clown in escape and chaplain is gone
>A slime-person is talking to the lawyer and chef. And then boom singulo. Now they're gone
>Shuttle gets called
>My partner drags my original body onto a pod while I finish the round off
>Hey security have you heard of - boom
>Ai is screaming over comms
>Shuttle is now gone
>We rush to the Pod
>Find captain chilling there.
>I shove him and rest. He does nothing.
>grab a pickaxe from the emergency storage
>partner now shoots him with a syringe gun
>cap pulls out sabre
>bash him till crit with pickaxe
>job done
>Loot him and gloat over comms
>Cap gets back up and sabres me
>goes back down due to death-coma
>steal sabre and remove organs.
>Go home on the shuttle

Tldr: Blood Brother xenobiologists do RnD for boh's while the other gets green slime bodies. 10 second Singulos ensue.

Now that was Peak Blood-Brothers

[Reyn]

>Playing on terry
>As Giorno Giovanna, Warden
>"I Giorno Giovanna have a dream"
>Said dream is to keep the fucking brig and armoury secure
>Not much going on
>Genetics discovers abductor mutagen
>CULT
>A good chunk of sec is now abductors
>Said abductorsec cant talk to me and cant use their guns due to not being able to use regular firing pins\
>Abductor captain walks up to my guy with a mutagen filled carrot
>WIthout asking or saying so, against the officers will, the captain forces the sec officer to eat the abductor mutagen carrot, turning them into yet another abductor sec.

>I'm not letting the captain fuck over my sec team against their will in my brig.
>Buckshot the captain into the fucking shadow realm
>Im now on a rampage, most of the sec team can't fight to their best ability now, and the cult's reached halo phase
>"I'll do it myself"
>Cult in dorms
>Head over to dorms where abductorsec is struggling.
>Buckshot for the buckshot god.
>Kill A good chunk of cultists right then and there.
>Run back to brig, see people breaking in
>buckshot for the buckshot god
THAT was not the best idea, turns out the fuckers were being deconverted. I regret that.
>Apologize and leave after making sure armoury is fine
>Lead Sec into full force war with the cult
>Not enough cult left to summon
>Shuttle finally arrives
>Head to captains seat, with the crew... generally having good opinions of me from what I recall.
>Salutes were exchanged.
>Shuttle leaves, doesn't blow up on the way there.
>Shuttle arrives at centcomm
>Cult has failed, A good chunk of sec made it out alive, Brig and armoury weren't fucked with
>
[youtube]IsbNsicT_oU[/youtube]

[confused rock]

I respect officers who don't let even the captain become a massive shitwad, though it's a fine line to walk.

[Reyn]

I enjoy being warden. As a summary.

[Vekter]

>Latejoin as Cargo
>No comms, vines near the arrivals shuttle, looks not great
>Going to be one of those rounds
>Go order a goat and get ready to start making welders before realizing the vines had been taken care of
>Oh well, time for bounties
>Visit bridge, HoP door is open
>Homer Simpson wiggly fingers
>Yoink all access just in case
>Also because we don't have a chemist and Centcomm wants drugs for some reason
>Head to the bar for a Triple Citrus because they want that for more confusing reasons?
>Roboticist sees me climb over the bar, stuncuffs me and pulls me away to medical
>People are there, yell at them to help me, he fucks off back to robotics
>"I'm going to experiment on you"
>Okay now I'm worried
>Starts cutting me open, doing things to me, trying to put things in my body but very bad at it
>Manage to break off the wheel bed long enough to Benny Hill him a bit
>Distracts him enough for the Warden to show up and arrest him
>Get free and wonder about what to do with myself
>Walk out into the science hall
>There's a chainsaw there
>The Great Communicator
>Justice is not enough. I must have vengeance.
>Sneak into perma brig with chainsaw
>Communicate his fucking carotid artery open
>Can't risk someone cloning him
>Throw him in a locker and drag him to the kitchen
>Gib
>Make into a delicious
>Tastes like ketchup, mustard, and justice
>Find Warden and throw burger at him
>"As a token of gratitude."
>Survive rest of the round

He ended up being mind-controlled, which sucks for him, but one of the more satisfying kills I've had.

[Reyn]

During A nuke op round I managed to roll ops. So uh

>I'm an op. It's the Kira family now
>Get some grenades N shit, and macrobomb
>Also bulldog shotgun and meteorshells. And A crypto.
>And elite hardsuit
>We head to station, other ops are off doing their own thing. The ai is NOT in the sat
>Other ops figure out that AI is in the law office, I didn't hear that discussion, but went to law office due to it being closest airlock
>Ai sees me. Bolts me in.
>I wait
>Captain and either the warden, hop, or HOS, and some cargo twat decide that it's valid season and go to the area where i'm bolted in to attack me, with a plasma fire raging behind them.



Buckshot/Meteorshell combo the first person to enter into the shadow realm. Run after the others guns ablazing.
Stop drop and roll out of stupidity to get the fire off, and guys come to attack.

> I'm not letting them get away with my shotgun, or with killing me
>Beep beep beep
>People don't know where the bomb is. It's my macrobomb
>Boom.
>Watch explosio-
>Ai, which was in the next room over, gets fucked up by debris and ends up dying
>And there's panic.
>My fellow ops, possibly using my distraction, get the disk, and get the nuke.
>Nuke goes off with a major victory

"Those ops were damn well co-ordinated"

Me: "Actually I just decided to do my own thing and bullshitted my way into being somehow useful"

[wesoda25]

>cult
>convert a few people stealthy as fuck
>decide to go for the gold
>run into brig, grab cap and veil shift out with him
>get into a side room, kill warden who chases after us
>cap is chill, decide not to kill him
>running around doing cult shit with cap in tow behind me
>HOS locks us in a room and fires, I teleport out
>run back, blow up welding tank on HOS, kill him, and then i get cap in tow again
>we (I) decide to chill on lavaland for a bit
>upon arriving me and cap are swarmed by 3-4 ash walkers
>cap lost an arm and a leg, im hurt, all the ashwalkers are either dead or near death
>me and cap regroup, I give him my gun and turn him loose on them
>together we slaughter and convert all of them, cap still non antag
>we’re war buddies now, return to station as partners
>I continue to do jack shit to help the cult (which is the entire station now)
>shit gets buggy, cult steals and kills cap, now hes my juggernaut friend
>shit gets buggier but with admin help we eventually pull it off
>nice

[NoxVS]

>be roboticist
>just fucking around and augmenting myself
>cult announced
>kill a handful of cultists and then begin to realize how widespread they are
>cult is summoning in the bathrooms!
>grab a random scientist and convince him to become a suicide bomber in the name of the Omnissiah
>I have two bags of holding and hide in his pocket in a bodybag
>arrive at bathrooms, cult has it too well defended, too many bystanders nearby, not able to reliably bomb them
>hear the fabric of reality tearing
>decide fuck it
>boh bomb anyways
>the boh bomb goes off
>narsie is summoned
>almost all harvesters are consumed
>narsie walks into the boh bomb blackhole
>crabrave narsie is gone crabrave
>centcom announces that narsie has been successfully hendersoned
>but they can’t find the off button for the nuke

It said cult victory but we all know that was a major crew victory

[wesoda25]

yee i got another one
Ps thanks exavere
The story of Santa the Tyrant
>Get santa
>cool
>spread christmas joy and cheer
>loved by everyone
>janitor pushes me into fire and burns me alive
>out of the ashes, santa is reborn, but he no longer wants to spread christmas joy or cheer

>i get cqc and murder the janitor
>I am not done, all grinches and humbugs must die
>strike a deal with security: they protect me and serve me and I give them endless presents
>I sit upon my gilden uranium throne in armory, and order security to bring before me the criminal Bennet Mcintosh, who stole my hat
>turns out uranium is radioactive and I get poisoned and go bald, but its fitting
>security brings me someone who wronged them, they die
>security finally captures bennet
>call everyone to brig for a demonstration of what happens to those who don't spread christmas cheer

>bennet dies, and a atmos tech grinch torches all of brig
>i die, but my loyal sec guards bring me back
>long story short board shuttle yeet

[Tarchonvaagh]

>scientist
>traitor
>oh cool, time to be a bad guy
>get black stuff (bandana, neckerchief, cap, etc)
>tools from eva, break into the bartenders room for sunglasses
>find a shotgun and a vest too
>flash cuffs from tech storage
>"borrow" some n2o from the Rd and an atmos projector from the ce
>fill abandoned medbay with n2o
>holofans so the gas won't escape
>get some random traitor gear, most importantly emp flashlight and noslips
>when I get back a guy is already sleeping in the doorway
>mfw
>tell some sec officer that I found some strange shit, he follows me and instantly falls asleep
>next, same with the rd
>after that I tell some robo that the Rd is gone and I need her help
>follows me
>three people sleeping, gotta make more beds
>I fill the entire room with beds
>some assistant with a gas mask wanders in, flash emp light
>I ask the other robo to follow me because I NEED HIS HELP
>when he refuses to come I stun him and kidnap him
>ce is near, no sunglasses
>I stun him and drag him in, he has a breath mask on
>turns out he is a fellow tator too, and takes a moment to admire my creation
>next victim is a doc
>I look at my objectives, one target suicides and the other is the RD
>I quickly slit the rds throat with a saw
>I catch three more officers, one had internals
>I bola him a few times, he stuns and cuffs me
>freedom implant, I get a few saw hits on him, he eventually bleeds out
>free sec gear!
>shuttle gets called by captain because of the lizard warden
>me and the ce try to recall, but fail because muh red alert for no reason
>I get one more person to my nest, but turns out a guy had freed a few prisoners and they murder me with MY WEAPONS
>ce dies to a banana peel
>epic memetext
(I'm on my phone, will upload more pictures later)

[Flatulent]

-snip-

funny how you dont mention that you missed 7 times with throwing kit while trying to hit a bolad secman

also recalling on lowpop when 60% of the crew is fucking gone is pretty yikes tharcoon

[pugie]

The only crime here is saying red alert was triggered for no reason.

[Tarchonvaagh]

The only crime here is saying red alert was triggered for no reason.

I was busy kidnapping people what happened?

[pugie]

The only crime here is saying red alert was triggered for no reason.

I was busy kidnapping people what happened?

People were being kidnapped hello were you not paying attention???

[Tarchonvaagh]

Spoiler:

>cult
>convert a few people stealthy as fuck
>decide to go for the gold
>run into brig, grab cap and veil shift out with him
>get into a side room, kill warden who chases after us
>cap is chill, decide not to kill him
>running around doing cult shit with cap in tow behind me
>HOS locks us in a room and fires, I teleport out
>run back, blow up welding tank on HOS, kill him, and then i get cap in tow again
>we (I) decide to chill on lavaland for a bit
>upon arriving me and cap are swarmed by 3-4 ash walkers
>cap lost an arm and a leg, im hurt, all the ashwalkers are either dead or near death
>me and cap regroup, I give him my gun and turn him loose on them
>together we slaughter and convert all of them, cap still non antag
>we’re war buddies now, return to station as partners
>I continue to do jack shit to help the cult (which is the entire station now)
>shit gets buggy, cult steals and kills cap, now hes my juggernaut friend
>shit gets buggier but with admin help we eventually pull it off
>nice

boat bomber was the captain, truly epic

[wesoda25]

Yeah I saw the video, pretty cool honestly. I was also the chef in in the part of the video before the cult stuff.

[Shadowflame909]

can i get a video link to that

[wesoda25]

[youtube]Gd88U6rYaWY[/youtube]
go to 7:30 for the round i talked about