[Omega_Darkpotato] Bisar/Metek - irresponsibility with following up on discord bans

[Bisar]

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=36875

In reference to the above:

I was not exactingly specific with my wording. This was on me. To be exactingly specific:

[Replying to person unseen in the screenshot, with a tone of ostensible good will that's actually immensely sarcastic] Hello, other discord user. Morally, I agree with your stance that we should give equal consideration and welcoming vibes to Republicans and Democrats. However, our community welcomes trans people, so it is untenable for us to be welcoming to a political party using attacks on them as a galvanizing force for driving ignorant voters to the polls! Here is an accompanying smile, conveying earnestness but serving to accentuate the sarcasm by doing so.


Like I said, the whole message was steeped in context, implication, and a familiarity with American politics to capture what it is I meant. I understand that ignorant people come to the discord to say colorful things quite often, and there are a few recent ban appeals besides mine around this whole thing.

Regardless, if I'm going to be kicked from the discord because someone read a possible negative connotation from something I've said, I think it's a burden of duty as a moderator for community discussion to make me aware of why exactly I'm being.kicked from the discord.

I came into the ban appeal with the assumption that my ill informed speculation on Russian culture was something to do with it, based on having looked up the culprits behind previous DDoS attacks. I was then completely blindsided with a roundabout accusation of me being transphobic.

It's all well and good that being a bigot is an express ticket to being ejected from our community. I agree with that. And because it is such an immensely fucking weighty thing to be found culpable for, I think you should a half assed attempt to talk to someone before you drop that shit in their lap.

My rambling about my bisexuality was sourced from being harangued about my sexuality by ignorant people both in and out of the LGBT community. It lies close to my heart because I feel antagonized by people who are supposed to be on the same side as me. Now the script got flipped here and I was being accused of being an enemy of one of the groups of people that make up a part of the queer community.

To summarize: it was irresponsible to publicly have this out with me. Apparently, Potato was "not the only one"? None of them said anything, either.

[Omega_DarkPotato]

From my point of view you were someone who just days prior had said some profoundly odd shit in another general channel that three other random people had taken the time out of their day to say "hey what do you mean by this".
After your statement of "Normally I'd agree but we allow trans people here so we're kind of already biased", other people said "trans people existing isn't a political thing" and "weirdo", to which you didn't explain your post at all.
From my point of view, I saw someone who posted some bizarre political takes twice out of polcon in under a week, with one being *very easily* read as transphobia, and just decided that I had made a mistake in not sweeping it up the first time.

I did not consider it "blindsiding" nor somehow "irresponsibly publicly having this out with you"- the only issue you had in your appeal of bringing up your sexuality was a decision you made by yourself, completely unprompted.
Although with the evidence now of "it was just an honest mistake" I can say that I should've contacted you first to ask what you had meant by this, with the evidence I had at the time I stand by my decision.

[Vekter]

To be fair, without the specific context surrounding it, most of us in Adminbus also considered it to be you expressing bigotry.

If you're going to say something that can be taken as potentially inflammatory, I highly recommend you use tone indicators (like /s or /j).

[Bisar]

Although with the evidence now of "it was just an honest mistake" I can say that

Specifically here, which part was an honest mistake?

I should've contacted you first to ask what you had meant by this, with the evidence I had at the time I stand by my decision.

I'm not asking you to withdraw your decision to pursue measures to keep your community safe; I am specifically complaining that you didn't speak with me first before you did so for something that is an immensely sensitive subject and can be ruinous to someone's reputation if not handled delicately.

EDIT: And to branch off of what Vekter has said; yes, interpreting a situation without wider context can very often end up with you leaving with the wrong interpretation. That's a big part of my point here.

To be fair, without the specific context surrounding it, most of us in Adminbus also considered it to be you expressing bigotry.

I have already had myself several little rants about how many of my actions are interpreted in the most negative light possible by the administration here. I'm working to remedy that.

If you're going to say something that can be taken as potentially inflammatory, I highly recommend you use tone indicators (like /s or /j).

It was inflammatory, but toward the exact opposite target that I got nailed for.

[Omega_DarkPotato]

Although with the evidence now of "it was just an honest mistake" I can say that

Specifically here, which part was an honest mistake?

I should've contacted you first to ask what you had meant by this, with the evidence I had at the time I stand by my decision.

I'm not asking you to withdraw your decision to pursue measures to keep your community safe; I am specifically complaining that you didn't speak with me first before you did so for something that is an immensely sensitive subject and can be ruinous to someone's reputation if not handled delicately.

EDIT: And to branch off of what Vekter has said; yes, interpreting a situation without wider context can very often end up with you leaving with the wrong interpretation. That's a big part of my point here.

To be fair, without the specific context surrounding it, most of us in Adminbus also considered it to be you expressing bigotry.

I have already had myself several little rants about how many of my actions are interpreted in the most negative light possible by the administration here. I'm working to remedy that.

If you're going to say something that can be taken as potentially inflammatory, I highly recommend you use tone indicators (like /s or /j).

It was inflammatory, but toward the exact opposite target that I got nailed for.

Re: Which part was an honest mistake? Your word choice and phrasing.
Re: "immensely sensitive subject", sorry to hear this but ultimately irrelevant.
Re: "ruinous to someone's reputation if not handled delicately.", it's a discord ban from a ss13 discord server that you appealed with the understandable statement of "my wording was wrong".
Re: "interpreting a situation without wider context", all context (immediately surrounding messages) for both situations seemed to paint you in a bad light. I do not know the life and history of every single discord user, and I do not think that that's a reasonable ask.

I saw a message that looked like it was expressing bigotry, other users (not "the administration") in the general channel saw the message and interpreted it as bigotry, other admins in admin-bus saw the message and interpreted it as bigotry, and 95% of the time when all that lines up the person is actually expressing bigotry.
I apologize that you got swept up in something unpleasant due to a misinterpretation of your phrasing, but given how easily your statement was interpreted as the opposite of what you were going for I do not think that with the available information and context that I had I did anything egregious.
In cases where there is ambiguity apparent, I take someone aside and ask what they meant in a private ticket- I did not see any in your message.

What do you want out of this complaint? If it's just an apology for you getting caught up in a net because I thought you were saying extremely sus shit when you actually weren't intending to come off that way you can have it, that was my mistake.

[Bisar]

That's good enough for me. Thank you.

[dragomagol]

This appears to have been resolved. Closing.