Not-Dorsidarf wrote:Farquaar wrote:JStheguy wrote:Farquaar wrote:It doesn't help that it's an open invitation for kitchen invaders if there isn't slop smeared over the front counter at any given moment.
Yeah seriously fuck when this happens. I dare spend any time at all actually trying to prepare some fancier fare and suddenly you get anyone from some asshat assistant up to the goddamn captain--depending on how much the galaxy hates you at that moment--busting down your door demanding chicken tendies.
Honestly when playing chef you might as well forget about everything in the foodstuff crafting screens and just heat up some donk pockets and maybe bake the standard horrifying-looking log of bread if you are feeling particularly spirited.
And people wonder why chef Johnny Average only serves deep-fried appendix burgers.
The worst is when you go the whole hog, prepare menus, renovate the
mess hall to be a classy restaurant, hire an assistant to play music, grow custom gene modified mutant plants (good vanilla takes a lot of work) with hand-made nutriment flavour sauces. Then some philistine will see no food on the counter, ree at you and lunge for deep fryer.
Remember that if they jump on the serving tables you can smash them into crit with the shutters and throw them back into the serving area
That gives me a delicious antag idea:
Play chef
Buy a chameleon projector or some other item that makes you invisible
Cook some food, but don't put it on the counter
Instead, place it on the food prep table inside the kitchen, just out of reach of the unwashed masses
Disguise and lie in wait for the clown/greyshirt/CMO to jump onto the counter
Mash him into a fine paste by repeatedly closing the shutters
Drag the mangled meat bits to the gibber
Serve clown/assistant/officer meat for lunch, repeat the scheme when the meat runs out
If medical/security questions you, say they suicided on the counter
Bonus points if you use a pen to give your food a custom description hinting at who your victim was i.e. "The taste of this hot dog leaves you speechless" for your custom-made mime weiners