ITT: We make shitty suggestions and come up with poor ideas.

[Anonmare]

Bottom post of the previous page:

It makes me sad because anonmare posts all these awesome idea but they'll never come to fruition because they're in a meme thread

Only I can defeat me



Integrate APCs and air alarms into NTNet, make it possible to create bots that can go around and change the settings on APCs/Air Alarms. Make them able to understand basic commands like a door remote, if sent a command to "toggle interface" with the appropriate passkey - toggles the interface. If given an "overload" command, blows the lights on an APC whilst air alarms can't understand the command and so on.

Make it possible to upgrade APCs and air alarms with metal and plasteel to reinforce them in the same manner as an airlock. Adding plasma sheets to APCs/Airlocks/Air alarms protects them from EMPs and grid check events.

Add a crafting recipe for a home-made chem thrower as follows:
Materials required:-
2x fire extinguishers
1x spray bottle
1x welding tool
15x lengths of cable
1x modular receiver
1x analyzer
1x power cell
Tools required:-
1x screwdriver
1x wrench
The home-made chem thrower is classed as a bulky item and can hold 375u of chemicals and can be toggled between blasting a cone of reagents 2-3 tiles forward or a more focused 6-tile stream. The thrower is "reloaded" by pouring reagents from one container into it.

Make it possible to attach grenades to welding/water tanks. Once attached, they can be removed via wirecutters instantly. The default grenade trigger (pulling the proverbial pin) is not particularly effective but using a proximity/signaller triggered grenade is. Ideally used to create traps.

Add constructable caltrops made from metal rods and D4 dice. Caltrops deal 15 damage and embed if anyone without shoes steps on them, people wearing shoes suffer 10 damage and no embed, but their shoes are damaged in the process. Repeated exposure can shred your shoes to pieces.

Make it possible to loosen a lightswitch button frame with a screwdriver, attach 2x pieces of cable and re-tighten the frame so that the next person who touches the button, gets shocked.

Make it possible to construct toilets, sinks and showers via plasteel, because that's obviously what they're made from.

Make it possible to build a mirror object from silver and attach it to a wall.

Make it possible to construct sprinklers, fill them with water and sync them up to a fire alarm so that they spray water in a 3x3 radius centered on themselves. Can be filled with other reagents, like welding fuel or plasma.

[Anonmare]

Add Meme as a secondary antagonist.

45 minutes into a round, there is a rare possibility of a Meme being spawned inside a random, living, non-braindead/catatonic/critical condition person's head. There is no indication the individual has been afflicted by a meme and, in practise, it functions very similarly to a split personality. The difference being that a Meme is infectious and can jump from person to person.

On command, a Meme can force their host to say the trigger phrase and anyone in range who hears the host speaking the phrase becomes a potential infectee. The Meme can have their host whisper the phrase, meaning only those very close by will hear it, but the host won't hear themselves say it or have any log of it. Alternatively, they can make the host shout it aloud and making everyone on screen the next potential infectee, so long as they can hear the phrase.

A Meme can attune themselves to a host they're residing in, allowing them more refined control and allow them to jump back to said host regardless of z-level (but they cannot return if the host is dead/AFK/Ghosted/cured) at the cost of leaving a hard tell in the form of a health analyzer picking the infected up as someone suffering from a brain trauma. Potential infectees, people exposed to one of its triggers, will be temporarily on the Meme's host list and can jump to them, if the Meme does not attune or jump to one of the potential infectees - they'll no longer be viable infectees after 10 seconds.

Memes that have attuned to their host may take them over temporarily for a short period of time, during which the host mind is blinded, deafened, incapable of speaking or acting and told they have no memory of what happened during the intermittent time (enforce abductee rules if need be).
The Meme needs time to recover between taking someone over, this is per individual and not a global cooldown. Memes have a special prompt when using any form of writing material (crayons, spraypaints, pen+paper etc) and may create a visual trigger which makes anyone who sees it a potential infectee, as if they heard the phrase spoken - The meme is informed whenever someone new sees the visual trigger. The blind cannot see the trigger and thus, are at no risk. Cyborgs and AIs will see the trigger as something mundane but harmless (random but mundane grafitti for example).

The Meme cannot jump to an unattuned host with a mindshield implant, but they can jump to them if they received the implant after being attuned, though the Meme cannot control their action beyond what would be done with an unattuned host. The Meme is treated as a very resilient brain trauma, requiring a lobotomy to be removed from a host. The Meme's objectives involve propagating itself among "X" number of crewmembers, ensuring a host escapes on either the pods or the shuttle and one other objective. This objective may either be harmful to the crew (Delaminating the supermatter for example) or nonsensical (Destroy as many light fixtures as possible).

[huehuehue]

fund and code it
now

[Qbopper]

port the cosmic knives from new vegas that have batshit insane heat retention

if you slip and drop the knife it cuts through everything like an immovable rod

[Armhulen]

I love your idea itt but it's a freeze so i can't make them cmon now

[Anonmare]

Ironic

[RobustAndRun]

More shit for hacked cargo consoles

Spacecoin Mining
We'd have to add two items for this: Spacecoin Miner board (2k credits?) and a SpaceTrade board (or a better name, maybe 5k credits)
Spacecoin Miners are machines that must be wired to the grid, and use a substantial amount of power. Each mining machine must also be wired directly to a SpaceTrade computer, which allows you to control the amount of power each machine is using, your balance of spacecoins, and the varying price of spacecoin. The SpaceTrade computers can "print" spacecoins which can be shipped to centcom. As the price varies, cargo will need to be skillful with their timing to ensure they get a decent price when the spacecoins reach centcom.

Cargo could be running 10 spacecoin miners at once and making a killing while putting a huge load on the power grid. This could be really cool if engi and cargo team up, or just hilarious if they make no arrangement and drain the station's power.

";hey why aren't apcs charging"
";FUCKING CARGO IS MINING CRYPTOCURRENCY AGAIN"

[Anonmare]

>Mine several thousand crypto
>Put it on the cargo shuttle
>Bogandoff hacks the server and devalues spacecoins the moment you sell them so you make hardly any money

[Doctor Pork]

I love your idea itt but it's a freeze so i can't make them cmon now

all of anons ideas are gold why arent we using some of them

[Anonmare]

Because I post them in the shitty ideas thread, thus tainting them with meme status and ensuring they don't get PR'd

This is my master plan, you're all playing checkers whilst I've been playing Chess for years

[PKPenguin321]

Because I post them in the shitty ideas thread, thus tainting them with meme status and ensuring they don't get PR'd

This is my master plan, you're all playing checkers whilst I've been playing Chess for years

because youre too much of a pussy to make a new thread u dork

[Anonmare]

Because I post them in the shitty ideas thread, thus tainting them with meme status and ensuring they don't get PR'd

This is my master plan, you're all playing checkers whilst I've been playing Chess for years

because youre too much of a pussy to make a new thread u dork

Apologise now you stale end piece of white bread

[ChefOdDish]

Customs Officer
Has access to the customs office at arrivals. Has limited access to the personnel console to grant maintenance access and promote assistants to engineer, cargo tech, scientist, or medical doctor. Is technically security, so is loyalty implanted. Should get approval from department heads before promoting assistants. Gets spaced ten minutes into the shift by the HoP after the other department heads gripe about the shitter who raided their department then fucked off into maintenance.

The Hamster Wheel
A room in the brig with a giant wheel. Putting someone in it allows them to generate power for the station. Engineers can be put in here after the engine blows to restore power

Mime Bike and Clown Unicycle
Now the two most useless entertaining members of the station can travel the corridors in style. The clown can even juggle while riding a bike. Bike horns and rubber duckies will honk on a loop when juggled, while cream pies will be thrown in the face of the next person they pass. Honk!

Musician
A dedicated musician with theater access who can put on a show for the crew. Comes with a flute they can use to become St. Patrick and lead all the lizards off of /tg/ the Pied Piper and lead the mice on a march through the station. As traitor has access to the accursed grinder, whose grating tune will drive all monkies and crew within earshot into a murderous rampage.

The Chef's Special
Made from the remains of the Research Director's pet facehugger, Lamarr any dead facehugger, the chef's special is truly a marvelous dish. A few minutes after eating it, the victim will seize up and in moments give birth to a xenomorph larva that will quickly be bludgeoned to death by the crew sing and dance for the crew's amusement.

[ChefOdDish]

You can press it against your own face to show how much of a badass you are mask your identity.

[Doctor Pork]

stop putting good ideas in this thread everyone stop

[JStheguy]

No, this is the good idea thread now.

[Doctor Pork]

No, this is the good idea thread now.

SOMEONE RENAME THE THREAD

[Doctor Pork]

why cant we tie knives to rods yet? seems p obvious

[somerandomguy]

why cant we tie knives to rods yet? seems p obvious

If it's added make it so you can tie a knife to an immovable rod too

[Gun Hog]

why cant we tie knives to rods yet? seems p obvious

Why stop at knives? Allow anything small and sharp to be tied to a spear! Scalpels, kitchen knives, survival knives, certain (sharp) Chaplain weapons, Captain's fountain pen, hatchets, etc are all things that could be stuck on a stick and thrown at people!

You code a 'modular' spear that stores the weapon used to create it. The spear will add a bonus to the attached weapon's force and throw-force, while still applying whatever properties that weapon has. So, if you heat your knife and stick it on a rod, you could still burn-stab people with it!

[somerandomguy]

Supermatter shard spear

[Gun Hog]

circular spear saw The saw is too large.
energy sword spear Not strong enough when off, too large when on.
throwing hatchet javelin YES!
Supermatter shard spear You madman.

[Doctor Pork]

circular spear saw The saw is too large.
energy sword spear Not strong enough when off, too large when on.
throwing hatchet javelin YES!
Supermatter shard spear You madman.

how do we make this happen the community deserves the "X-on-a-stick" update

[Selea]

add mobs on stick. Imagine weapon, constructed from stick and ddog, which is tied up to that stick.
So when you shove it to your enemy and pull dog's tail, animal will become enraged and will start to bite your target.
Compact version, made from rat is great for tortures.

[ChefOdDish]

I'm Not Owned!
Performing a deathgasp while holding a donut will cause you to scream "I'M NOT OWNED! I'M NOT OWNED!" while slowly shrinking into a corncob.

Spess' Tiniest Violin
So tiny it doesn't make a sound. Perfect for the mime, and it is spawned on their side of the theater.

Roads Scholar
You've heard of the Rhodes Scholar? Well this is the Roads Scholar, an elite group of travelling academics who create bonfires out of WGW gives lectures. As it turns out, the useless curator is one. When no one turns up to your lectures because all you do is brag about your 170 IQ you can hit the stubborn crew with your Academic Journal, which actually cures brain damage. The curator and the chaplain can often be found together metagaming to heal the crew by beating them with their journal and bible respectively getting into heated debates about creationism vs. evolution.

Lizard's Tail
You can now cut off the tails of lizard people! The chef is eager to get their hands on this rare delicacy to cook up all kinds of meals with the delicious tail meat. The lizards get the last laugh though as dishes made from lizard tail can turn you into a lizard which isn't too bad if you're a flyperson which is a fate worse than death.

[Doctor Pork]

Lizard tail is a thing but we need to add this effect to consuming it

[Anonmare]

Give Chaplains Nar'Sian and Ratvarian as a language, for those with a theme and a will to stick to it.

[ChefOdDish]

Remove bloodcult and make cultist a non-antag job that spawns in the chapel with the chaplain.

Remove changeling and Add a playable race that can harmlessly extract DNA and transform into other crewmembers.

[Yakumo_Chen]

Give Xenos craftable facehugger lances

[Selea]

actuaally a good idea.
But I think, that chaplain and/or curator needs to have darker powers, than cult.

I suggest to add this mob: https://myanimelist.net/anime/32664/Bananya
Clown should have ability to summon this as familiar via mime sacrifice.

[Selea]

Also we need to make Lady Gaga's meat dress, which is craftable with 6 slabs of meat.Also if you donk someone in this dress in deep fryer 10 times, he will become fried celebrity:big sliceable meal, which can feed station for half of round.nk

[Screemonster]

bananyas should be the botany version of caks

[Anonmare]

Make it so that plasma gas will turn to tritium gas when exposed to radiation, such as from a particle accelerator, and have tritium heat up in the presence of radiation.
Add Thermo-Electric Generators as a buildable machine and add the boards to the imprinter.
Make it possible to improvise a fusion reaction this way and use the heat from the reaction to generate power from the TEG.

[Coconutwarrior97]

Since you can make lizard wine with lizard tail how about cat wine with a cat tail?

[Denton]

Let people light cigars on the supermatter crystal.

[Davidchan]

The ability to turn a full cable coil roll (30 lengths) into a lasso.

[Screemonster]

Cryogenic shard gun. Load with a beaker, and it shoots needles of frozen reagent at people that stick in them and inject into their bloodstream. In fact it works almost exactly like a syringe gun, except the "syringes" are noreact until they hit something. Load it with a cryostasis beaker full of nitroglycerin mix for the TOP SCORE.

edit: and I just realised cryo syringes already exist fuck

Let people light cigars on the supermatter crystal.

wrong thread

[somerandomguy]

Cryogenic shard gun. Load with a beaker, and it shoots needles of frozen reagent at people that stick in them and inject into their bloodstream. In fact it works almost exactly like a syringe gun, except the "syringes" are noreact until they hit something. Load it with a cryostasis beaker full of nitroglycerin mix for the TOP SCORE.

edit: and I just realised cryo syringes already exist fuck

Let people light cigars on the supermatter crystal.

wrong thread

Cryo syringe + syringe gun + potas/water mix

[EvilJackCarver]

Random, useless stats on the round-end screen á la Counterstrike.

"6 pipes were unwrenched this round."

"Cargo shipped off 201 items this round."

"7 different people were honked with a bike horn this round."

"Security only killed 206 assistants this round. Slackers."

[EvilJackCarver]

Make suit sensors+maps run off tcomms.

NTNet.

Then DoSing the NTNet relays will actually do something except mildly annoy engineering.

[SpaceManiac]

Make suit sensors+maps run off tcomms.

NTNet.

Then DoSing the NTNet relays will actually do something except mildly annoy engineering.

door remotes use NTnet now

[huehuehue]

most ayylien races speak broken english and will revert to their native languages if a sentence is deemed too complex

[JStheguy]

Bring back gangs as a side antag, and give them an objective to keep some portion of the crew alive and not gangsters because the gang needs non-gangsters so they have marks to threaten in protection rackets and sell space drugs and bootleg DVDs to, along with other objectives to carry out various nefarious after-school special schemes like getting crew addicted some type of drugs or "acquiring" X credits worth of items by whatever means they see fit.

[BokehSynapsid]

clowns can send emoticons from their pda

[Gun Hog]

clowns can send emoticons from their pda

Seriously, stop putting good ideas in the trash thread!!!!!

[BokehSynapsid]

splatting a bee has a 1/1000 chance of playing a "RUSH B CYKA" soundfile

[Screemonster]

add garden claws for traitor botanists

[DemonFiren]

splatting a bee has a 1/1000 chance of playing a "RUSH B CYKA" soundfile

100% for every time a bee stings a Russian

[JStheguy]

add garden claws for traitor botanists

Only if they also work as cultivators.

[Selea]

Add garden gnomes.

[Davidchan]

Once science is maxed out, RnD can print out a quantum calculator, a pocket sized item. Functions like a normal calculator, with one caveat. If you try to divide by zero with it, a singularity spawns 5 seconds after the attempt on the calculator.