Best code comments

[paprika]

Doesn't need to be /tg/

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	if(istype(C, /obj/item/weapon/crowbar) || (istype(C,/obj/item/weapon/twohanded/fireaxe) && C:wielded == 1))
		if(blocked || operating)	return
		if(density)
			open()
			return
		else	//close it up again	//fucking 10/10 commenting here einstein
			close()
			return
	return

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		if(M != user)
			M << "<span class='notice'>[user] inserts [src] into your head!</span>"
			user << "<span class='notice'>You insert [src] into [M]'s head!</span>"
		else
			user << "<span class='notice'>You insert [src] into your head!</span>"	//LOL

[Remie Richards]

This entire file:
https://github.com/d3athrow/vgstation13 ... othwall.dm

tl;dr /vg/'s wonderful N3X15 goes on a rant for the ENTIRE FILE about why the old smoothwall (which we still have!) sucks.

The file's header:

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// OKAY I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK ORIGINALLY CODED THIS BUT THEY ARE OFFICIALLY FIRED FOR BEING DRUNK AND STUPID
// FUCK YOU MYSTERY CODERS
// FOR THIS SHIT I'M GOING TO MAKE ALL MY COMMENTS IN CAPS

[Xhuis]

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/mob/living/carbon/alien/humanoid/queen
	name = "alien queen"
	caste = "q"
	maxHealth = 250
	health = 250
	icon_state = "alienq_s"
	status_flags = CANPARALYSE
	heal_rate = 5
	plasma_rate = 20
	ventcrawler = 0 //pull over that ass too fat

[tedward1337]

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/mob/living/carbon/alien/humanoid/queen
	name = "alien queen"
	caste = "q"
	maxHealth = 250
	health = 250
	icon_state = "alienq_s"
	status_flags = CANPARALYSE
	heal_rate = 5
	plasma_rate = 20
	ventcrawler = 0 //pull over that ass too fat

Woop woop

[JJRcop]

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/*
 * WARRANTY VOID IF CODE USED
 */

/code/datums/helper_datums/events.dm Lines 1-3

[allura]

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/turf/simulated/floor/fancy/grass/holo/attackby(obj/item/weapon/W as obj, mob/user as mob)
	return
	// HOLOGRASS DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK

[Xhuis]

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// Ultimate randomizing code right here
for(var/mob/new_player/player in player_list)
	if(player.client && player.ready)
		players += player

[Saegrimr]

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/obj/structure/closet/syndicate/resources/New()
..()
var/common_min = 30 //Minimum amount of minerals in the stack for common minerals
var/common_max = 50 //Maximum amount of HONK in the stack for HONK common minerals
var/rare_min = 5 //Minimum HONK of HONK in the stack HONK HONK rare minerals
var/rare_max = 20 //Maximum HONK HONK HONK in the HONK for HONK rare HONK

What

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//Gold (rare ore)
if(pickednum >= 30)
new /obj/item/stack/sheet/mineral/gold(src, rand(rare_min, rare_max))
//Uranium (rare ore)
if(pickednum >= 40)
new /obj/item/stack/sheet/mineral/uranium(src, rand(rare_min, rare_max))
//Diamond (rare HONK)
if(pickednum >= 45)
new /obj/item/stack/sheet/mineral/diamond(src, rand(rare_min, rare_max))

[Not-Dorsidarf]

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	if(name == "Reset Machine") //I don't know what this is, CTRL+F has the only entry right here in this file, so I'm going to leave it in case it is something important

[ACCount]

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//THESE TWO ARE CODED FOR URIST TO USE WHEN HE GETS AROUND TO IT.
//They were coded on 18 Feb 2012. If you're reading this in 2015, then firstly congratulations on the world not ending on 21 Dec 2012 and secondly, Urist is apparently VERY lazy. ~Errorage

[DemonFiren]

Where was this?

[MisterPerson]

Mining somewhere. Control h in DM opens a find in file dialogue.

[Babin]

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//cause I don't want to feel like im juggling 15 tamagotchis and I can get to my real work of ripping flooring apart in hopes of validating my life choices of becoming a space-gardener

[Not-Dorsidarf]

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investigate_log("([key_name(src)]) has been consumed by the singularity.","singulo") //Oh that's where the clown ended up!

[RocKeD]

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investigate_log("([key_name(src)]) has been consumed by the singularity.","singulo") //Oh that's where the clown ended up!

This one made me laugh pretty hard.

[DemonFiren]

Found in meter.dm:

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// TURF METER - REPORTS A TILE'S AIR CONTENTS
//	why are you yelling?

Found in zvent.dm

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					var/datum/gas_mixture/conn_air = zturf_conn.air //TODO: pop culture reference

[Not-Dorsidarf]

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	var/common_min = 30 //Minimum amount of minerals in the stack for common minerals
	var/common_max = 50 //Maximum amount of HONK in the stack for HONK common minerals
	var/rare_min = 5  //Minimum HONK of HONK in the stack HONK HONK rare minerals
	var/rare_max = 20 //Maximum HONK HONK HONK in the HONK for HONK rare HONK

[ABearInTheWoods]

Found in meter.dm:

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// TURF METER - REPORTS A TILE'S AIR CONTENTS
//	why are you yelling?

That one was me.

https://github.com/tgstation/-tg-statio ... 52a25aR118

[Ricotez]

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/mob/living/carbon/unEquip(obj/item/I) //THIS PROC DID NOT CALL ..() AND THAT COST ME AN ENTIRE DAY OF DEBUGGING.

[Xhuis]

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/obj/item/clothing/tie/petcollar //don't really wear this though please c'mon seriously guys

[Fr05tByt3]

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if ("warn") //HUMAN HARM DETECTED. PLEASE DIE IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.
			message = "<B>[src]</B> blares an alarm!"
			playsound(loc, 'sound/machines/warning-buzzer.ogg', 50, 0)
			m_type = 2

Made me lol

[bandit]

/datum/barsign/thenet
name = "The Net"
icon = "thenet"
desc = "The sea of drinkformation." //you couldn't come up with something better?

[Shaps-cloud]

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//Bartender //it's chef what the fuck is your problem?
/obj/item/clothing/head/chefhat

[Lo6a4evskiy]

From where I work now. ControlLoop.cpp is the very basic and integral part of the project, too.

To be fair, "Magic" refers to unnamed constants in the code, so that's easily explainable. No idea what "Madness" is though.

[iamgoofball]

beautiful

[Ricotez]

that is what you get for using magic to run your control loop

[Xhuis]

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var/max_n_of_items = 10 // whatever fat fuck made this a global var needs to look at themselves in the mirror sometime

[ABearInTheWoods]

//Somebody cut an important wire and now we're following a new definition of "pitch."
/obj/machinery/vending/proc/throw_item()

[phil235]

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	if("close" in href_list)
		usr.reset_view(null)
		usr.unset_machine()
		current = null
		return // I do not <- I do not remember what I was going to write in this comment -Sayu, sometime later

We're still waiting, Sayu...

[DemonFiren]

In phylactery code:

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M << "<span class='notice'>You aren't dead enough to revive!</span>" //Usually a good problem to have

[One Seven One]

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/obj/item/clothing/tie/talisman
	name = "bone talisman"
	desc = "A hunter's talisman, some say the old gods smile on those who wear it."
	icon = 'icons/obj/clothing/ties.dmi'
	icon_state = "talisman"
	item_state = ""
	item_color = "talisman"
	body_parts_covered = CHEST|GROIN|LEGS|FEET|ARMS|HANDS|HEAD
	armor = list(melee = 5, bullet = 5, laser = 5, energy = 5, bomb = 50, bio = 65, rad = 5) //Faith is the best armor. //This won't actually work because of accessories kill me with a fucking knife jesus christ I hate code 

[TechnoAlchemist]

thas me

[Incoming]

if it ever changes to work it'll be really valuable, considering no other accessory gives any sort of armoring

[TechnoAlchemist]

C0reoverload had a PR up that would have fixed it but it god closed because bundles

[PKPenguin321]

C0reoverload had a PR up that would have fixed it but it god closed because bundles

no it was merged https://github.com/tgstation/tgstation/pull/19748

[TechnoAlchemist]

Fucjing epic bro good find good find good shot good shit

[The Ultimate Chimera]

Found in meter.dm:

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// TURF METER - REPORTS A TILE'S AIR CONTENTS
//	why are you yelling?

Kek.

[JJRcop]

code/__HELPERS/time.dm line 1

Capture.PNG (6.61 KiB) Viewed 23390 times

Yep, hh:mm time notation is definitely an English thing, and is not used by any other language at all.

[Saegrimr]

Yep, hh:mm time notation is definitely an English thing, and is not used by any other language at all.

Can't have that stupid british time where they go mm:hh:ss

[Remie Richards]

"english" in this case, means text.
We also have englishlist(), which takes a list and formats it into a nice string.
Pretty much any code not dealing with translation that uses the word "english" means text, because english is the defacto language of the internet and programming.

Saeg I don't even know what you're talking about stop talking out of your ass.

[DemonFiren]

Saeg cannot be wrong, therefore you must educate yourself:^)

[Saegrimr]

And here I thought the month/day/year joke was obvious.

[Iatots]

tbh I thought it was a reference to that (pretending) guy in a chain reply

it went a bit like this

>how long is X?
>Y minutes
>how long in american hours?
cue 20 myeuroface.jpg

[bandit]

var/fucking_stock_spikes = current_value + 500
var/piece_of_shit_fuck = current_value - 500
var/i_hate_this_code = (speculation / rand(25000, 50000) + performance / rand(100, 800)) * current_value
if(i_hate_this_code < fucking_stock_spikes || i_hate_this_code > piece_of_shit_fuck)
current_value += i_hate_this_code

[Qbopper]

technically not a comment 4/10 I laughed anyways

[oranges]

And here I thought the month/day/year joke was obvious.

it's year/month/day numbnuts

[lzimann]

This one is from goon(their chat's JS), made me laugh quite a bit when I first saw it:

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//Shit fucking piece of crap that doesn't work god fuckin damn it
function linkify(text) {
	var rex = /((?:<a|<iframe|<img)(?:.*?(?:src="|href=").*?))?(?:(?:https?:\/\/)|(?:www\.))+(?:[^ ]*?\.[^ ]*?)+[-A-Za-z0-9+&@#\/%?=~_|$!:,.;]+/ig;
	return text.replace(rex, function ($0, $1) {
		if(/^https?:\/\/.+/i.test($0)) {
			return $1 ? $0: '<a href="'+$0+'">'+$0+'</a>';
		}
		else {
			return $1 ? $0: '<a href="http://'+$0+'">'+$0+'</a>';
		}
	});
}

[Remie Richards]

https://github.com/tgstation/tgstation/ ... rs.dm#L328

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/proc/is_special_character(mob/M) // returns 1 for special characters and 2 for heroes of gamemode //moved out of admins.dm because things other than admin procs were calling this.
...
	if(M.mind && M.mind.special_role)//If they have a mind and special role, they are some type of traitor or antagonist.
		switch(SSticker.mode.config_tag)
			if("revolution")
				if((M.mind in SSticker.mode.head_revolutionaries) || (M.mind in SSticker.mode.revolutionaries))
					return 2
			if("cult")
				if(M.mind in SSticker.mode.cult)
					return 2
			if("nuclear")
				if(M.mind in SSticker.mode.syndicates)
					return 2
			if("changeling")
				if(M.mind in SSticker.mode.changelings)
					return 2
			if("wizard")
				if(M.mind in SSticker.mode.wizards)
					return 2
			if("apprentice")
				if(M.mind in SSticker.mode.apprentices)
					return 2
			if("monkey")
				if(M.viruses && (locate(/datum/disease/transformation/jungle_fever) in M.viruses))
					return 2
			if("abductor")
				if(M.mind in SSticker.mode.abductors)
					return 2
		return 1
return 0

>heroes
CONFIRMED: NT ARE THE BAD GUYS.

[Cyberboss]

https://github.com/tgstation/tgstation/ ... dmin.dm#L8

[Qbopper]

pfft