Tabletop General

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:44 am #276316

Bottom post of the previous page:

>Crystal shards that blow up
>Explosives

Do you even need to ask?

ShadowDimentio · Tue Apr 04, 2017 2:54 am

Already did that. It blew up in my face. I promptly tried again by putting the crystal further away and it worked perfectly, dealing max damage on a hit (6+12+3). That's not nearly sufficient enough to kill the fart, who I doubt gives a shit about bombs on account of being a fart.

Unless I use the big one. Then EVERYONE DIES.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:40 am #276344

If the wizard is that evil, he's probably pissed off someone in the course of the campaign.

Probably several people.

Without his knowing, give THEM the power crystals, an explanation that it might kill them but it's a shot at revenge, and tell them they never saw you. Do this via notes or private talk with the GM, do not rely on not-metaing.

Stand well back, await destruction of wizard by all the empowered people he pissed off.

ShadowDimentio · Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:02 am

He was apparently just your average wizard with aspirations for immortality, but fucked up his spell and turned into a fart instead. Then the samurai found him incredibly weak in a bottle and fed him crystals until he bounced back HARD, as he didn't have a body for them to destroy.

He doesn't really have any enemies as far as my feeble lizard mind knows besides me, as he's been letting the samurai act as his pawn, which she's been doing admirably. The only reason I'm so worried is because if the samurai and I fight-- which we're on a fast track to doing-- and I likely win, the fart will at best demand I take her place or at worse try to kill me.

I have a plan though. We're currently pursuing a Waterbender woman, and I have a giant crystal and a water elemental summoning stone. With any luck I can put these three together to become a [STAND MASTER] and have a pet water elemental to fight her stand.

This campaign is anime as hell but I bemoan that I'm the only one who's seen Jojo

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:06 am #276384

Cant you just like

Breathe him in and make him choke in your lungs?

ShadowDimentio · Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:34 pm

Sorry I can't pull a Star Platinum

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:11 pm #276563

>Dismissing the power of high explosives

I'd shoot you for heresy if I could Guardsman

ShadowDimentio · Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:25 pm

I don't dismiss it, I use it all the time to buff the shit out of my regular harpoons to deal triple their normal damage, but I just don't think that'll be enough to beat an effectively incorporeal enemy.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:29 pm #276572

I feel compelled to ask, is this party member vs party member conflict well agreed on by everyone in the game or do they think you are being a dick by bringing down the evil theme?

ShadowDimentio · Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:33 pm

We're all good friends out of game and we all know it's coming, they won't be mad when it does.

Super Aggro Crag · Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:36 pm

D&d/pathfinder question

Are homosexual relationships considered a chaotic act? Can paladins kiss without falling?

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sun Apr 16, 2017 7:52 pm #281463

Depends on their gods. Some gods are okay with it. Some will want them purged. Most don't have a doctrine on homosex so it depends on the GM

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sun Apr 16, 2017 8:07 pm #281469

Super Aggro Crag wrote:D&d/pathfinder question

Are homosexual relationships considered a chaotic act? Can paladins kiss without falling?

Paladins only fall if they knowingly and wilfully commit an evil act or grossly violate their Paladin's Code of Conduct.

So if they have a rule that says don't put your sausage in your squire's oven then it would be a chaotic act (As they would be acting contrary to something they consider to be Lawful), and, they would fall for grossly violating their Code - unless it was in service of a good end.
People forget that Paladins aren't forbidden from acting chaotically if the situation calls for it.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Mon Apr 17, 2017 1:50 pm #281743

Super Aggro Crag wrote:D&d/pathfinder question

Are homosexual relationships considered a chaotic act? Can paladins kiss without falling?

It reaaaaaaalllly depends on how you handle the alignment system.

Namely, "Is the Chaotic/Lawful axis absolute, or relative?"

The good/evil axis is generally taken to be absolute- Orcs and Drow are still Evil, even if they are "good" (without the capital-G Alignment "Good") within the context of their culture.

If you apply the same logic to the chaotic/lawful axis, then homosexual relationships are (probably) a neutral act- kissing a dude doesn't, inherently, seem to uphold centralized authority or personal freedom.

However, I think the chaotic/lawful act is better when it is taken to be partially contingent on the nature of local/cultural authority. If this is taken to be the case, a homosexual relationship would be a Chaotic act if done in the context of a culture or regime that broadly disapproves of such. However, it would not be Chaotic if the local culture/authority approved of or had no opinion on it.

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:18 pm #282248

Lawful/Chaotic is an artefact of a time when alignment only went Lawful and Chaotic, with Lawful being Good and Chaotic being Evil. People argued that the heroes could behave chaotically or desire a chaotic outcome and villains were usually tyrants who behaved lawfully or desired an outcome that was lawful as we understood it.

So, it got changed to a four-way axis but the Lawful/Chaotic doesn't really fit in terms of how one acts ethically and has been a point of contention for a long, long time.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:24 pm #282250

Nine point alignment system fucking sucks dick and actively prevents people from playing complex characters by encouraging them to colour within the specific lines. It is just another of DnD's sacred cows that we will probably never be rid of

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:28 pm #282253

tbh I'd gut out the Lawful/Chaotic axis as it usually ends up causing confusion. Inevitables and all the pure Lawful/Chaotic entities can still exist as pure neutral entities with templates and still have alien thought processes.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 5:39 pm #282260

I would prefer if it were axed all together but i think too many of DnD's mechanics are reliant on it at this point for that to really be possible.

4th edition did that weird 5 alignment system that just had evil, chaotic evil, neutral, good, and lawful good. Not sure if they thought it would help but it kinda ended up getting ignored

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Tue Apr 18, 2017 7:23 pm #282285

Personally I usually just start any character as pure neutral

Then I do whatever and if the GM says my actions change my alignment then that happens and I give no shits

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:43 pm #282613

I think the nine-point alignment system isn't bad per se, but it has to be taken as descriptive, rather than prescriptive. That is, your alignment describes your actions, which your character's beliefs determine, rather than "your alignment determines your actions."

However, this is fucked to hell and back by things like falling or not falling based on alignment and alignment-detecting magic, both of which encourage a prescriptive approach.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:05 pm #282617

Pretty much, yes. Paladins should only ever fall for a personal crisis of faith, not because "lol u got tricked into doing badthing"

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 3:08 pm #282642

Such as cannibalism
It's a strongly evil act in D&D/PF and eating sentients makes you evil unless you're a saint or similar.
Even if you didn't know it was meat from people and the taste was hidden. Eat people = evil

Not the greatest system, but thats why GMs often just go "nah, doesn't count" on cases like that

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 3:09 pm #282643

All the bad game design in the world does not matter at all if you have a good GM

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 3:24 pm #282649

Try playing FATAL and then say that again

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 3:29 pm #282652

XSI wrote:Try playing FATAL and then say that again

Now all he needs is a good GM.

ShadowDimentio · Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:50 pm

One of my old GMs is running a text for a new system he's developing, I made a character. In walks INO HALL, multiplicitous scholar of the arcane!

A master of dark magic she's easily capable of annhilating any enemy, however the magic strains her body. Thus, she became proficient in alchemy to brew potions and bombs, and also healing magic to mend her own wounds. Her purpose in wandering the world is to find a practitioner of ancient magic and learn their secrets, thereby becoming capable of casting spells from three different schools of magic, with only dumb weeb magic being left out.

Truly the future is looking bright for miss Hall.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:50 pm #282863

I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

ShadowDimentio · Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:53 pm

I'd threaten to turn you into something hideous but you're already there, lizard.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 8:56 pm #282871

ShadowDimentio wrote:I'd threaten to turn you into something hideous but you're already there, lizard.

Was that a hastily withdrawn offer to mindswap, wiznerd?

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:08 pm #282886

>All this alignment discussion and "paladin falls"
Serves you right for playing inferior systems

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:12 pm #282891

InsaneHyena wrote:>All this alignment discussion and "paladin falls"
Serves you right for playing inferior systems

So you're up for a game of FATAL as well?

ShadowDimentio · Wed Apr 19, 2017 9:37 pm

I've never had alignment come up outside of a discussion I had once about my cleric being neutral good and me taking that to mean someone who tries to do good and get others to do good but not actively impeding those that aren't good or evil, which is good because the other two partymembers are a thieving rogue and a fighter who'd kill someone for a pint of beer.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Sat Apr 22, 2017 1:37 am #283926

DemonFiren wrote:
XSI wrote:Try playing FATAL and then say that again
Now all he needs is a good GM.

Good Sir,

I am XSI's current GM, and as such the implication in this statement is a personal insult and attack upon my impeccable character.

To resolve this, I am afraid I have no option but to demand an immediate retraction of your remark, or I will have no choice but to challenge you to a duel.

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sat Apr 22, 2017 1:51 am #283928

I think the implication was that if you were a good GM, you'd run FATAL so we can prove the theory mentioned

And I would rather not play FATAL

Super Aggro Crag · Mon May 15, 2017 4:55 pm

The blue space marine woke up...and decided to make TALLER SPACE MARINES to save the imperium. Now all the old Marines are SHIT BABIES. Hahaha space Marines not so elite now are you maybe the imperial guard will let you stand in front of then and soak bullets.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon May 15, 2017 7:28 pm #293977

one of my friends is going to start a dnd campaign this summer and I genuinely fear that one of the people involved will derail her campign into "I KILL THE SHOPKEEPR" territory of murderhoboing and I don't want the game to fuck up and die what do I do

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon May 15, 2017 7:37 pm #293979

Tell the GM you are concerned about this. Play a good-aligned character, be on good terms with the other players so you have support when you say "If you try to kill this innocent man for literally no reason I will stop you"

Post by **Armhulen** » Mon May 15, 2017 8:02 pm #293990

Wyzack wrote:Tell the GM you are concerned about this. Play a good-aligned character, be on good terms with the other players so you have support when you say "If you try to kill this innocent man for literally no reason I will stop you"

>I'm chaotic Neutral

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Mon May 15, 2017 8:39 pm #294007

Chaotic neutral does not mean stupid

But yes. It is always fine to go "If you do that I will beat the shit out of you and call the guards". Easiest thing to explain it with is being a paladin, protect the people and all.
Otherwise, you can just say that you refuse to travel with randomly murdering people because you've got a reputation, and you don't want to be hunted by the guards because they couldn't keep their murderboner in their pants

Post by **Armhulen** » Mon May 15, 2017 8:41 pm #294010

XSI wrote:Chaotic neutral does not mean stupid

But yes. It is always fine to go "If you do that I will beat the shit out of you and call the guards". Easiest thing to explain it with is being a paladin, protect the people and all.
Otherwise, you can just say that you refuse to travel with randomly murdering people because you've got a reputation, and you don't want to be hunted by the guards because they couldn't keep their murderboner in their pants

This is one of the better options, but can't he just valid you then?

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Mon May 15, 2017 10:11 pm #294070

That's when the GM is supposed to tell them to stop being lelrandumb

Plus, it helps if you're wearing heavy armour and are good at defence, like paladins often are

InsaneHyena · Mon May 15, 2017 10:51 pm

>tfw no greater restoration

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon May 15, 2017 11:04 pm #294090

Wyzack wrote:Tell the GM you are concerned about this. Play a good-aligned character, be on good terms with the other players so you have support when you say "If you try to kill this innocent man for literally no reason I will stop you"

I also expect RP to be hippiestation levels of quality, so I'll try this, but there's only so much she can do

Super Aggro Crag · Tue May 16, 2017 1:30 am

A GIRL Dungeon Master? Woooow

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue May 16, 2017 1:30 am #294182

I mean she can literally say "stop derailing my game with your random murder you dumb cunt, it's not nearly as funny as you think it is"

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Tue May 16, 2017 1:42 am #294187

Wyzack wrote:I mean she can literally say "stop derailing my game with your random murder you dumb cunt, it's not nearly as funny as you think it is"

fwiw I sent my + your post to her and she said "yeah, do what you want, don't worry, I have it planned"

I'm not 100% convinced but hey what can you do

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue May 16, 2017 3:04 am #294220

Well its something. At the very least she will likely account for it and not let the game get ruined by one shitter

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Tue May 16, 2017 10:31 am #294313

>LEL I KILL THIS RANDOM SHOPKEEPER
>"Unfortunately the shop is right next to the local watchhouse. Rallied by the shopkeeper's desparate cries to spare his life, a dozen city guards storm into the shop."

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Tue May 16, 2017 6:13 pm #294517

it's her/THAT GUY's first time properly playing dnd so we'll see how it goes

meanwhile I've played 4e before but the game was cancelled because teenagers are flaky as shit and it's ridiculous

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Thu May 18, 2017 1:43 am #295332

update

>guy I'm not a big fan of has been posting shiity "respect women" memes all day
>me and GM are 110% done with him
>guy in question begins to see how far he can toe the line and wants his character to "respect women because other dwarves don't"
>he's actually trying to tell the GM how the world works for his awful meme that no one but him likes
>call him out
>he falls back on the "wow dude why are you so mad???? do u not respect women??? XD" defense
>GM lays down ground rules, one of which is "no low effort memes"
>thank fuck

later

>sit down to make character
>come up with relatively standard backstory, half-elf who's parents are ???, raised by dwarves
>(his name is Roberto because the dwarves thought that was an elvish name)
>relatively pleased with it but I need to replace the two melee weapons I start out with for a single longsword for backstory reasons
>GM is giving everyone one item they can start with to enhance backstory/etc. with the exception of weapons
>explain, she says we'll "discuss it", I probably won't even get to use it at level 1 because my strength is 10, apparently
>the guy discussed in above posts (not respect women guy) sends me his character sheet
>it's the GM but with her name slightly changed
>the backstory is entirely one big reference to the GM
>I'm not at all surprised
>he asks me "what's wrong with it bro?????????"
>everyone seems intent on using their shitty behavior gimmick today it seems
>ask GM if she's seen his sheet
>"yes, it's perfect, why"
>it's hilarious for that guy to use a literal 4th wall break (or at least lean on it) but me replacing two swords for a longsword is something worth discussion

i'm already uneasy

shaps wanted his special item to be a .45 with no ammo and no one (in character) knows what it is which made me laugh

Post by **Armhulen** » Thu May 18, 2017 2:52 am #295352

Qbopper wrote: >it's hilarious for that guy to use a literal 4th wall break (or at least lean on it) but me replacing two swords for a longsword is something worth

hmmmmmmmmm