Stories of rage, tears and regret

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jan 01, 2017 1:27 am #239963

Bottom post of the previous page:

>he doesn't build caches

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Sun Jan 01, 2017 1:28 am #239964

Why do you think I needed the proselytizer, to paint walls yellow for the fun of it?

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jan 01, 2017 1:30 am #239965

>he doesn't manually build clockwork walls

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Sun Jan 01, 2017 4:16 am #239986

A comedy of errors

First time on Omega Station, and I roll Traitor Clown, awesome! The objectives are captains jet pack (easy~) and escape so I've all 20 crystals to spend towards shenanigans.

I wander the halls to familiarize myself with the station and plot my clownish plans. Running down the halls behind me comes a d-esword user. Caught unprepared I defend myself with the only thing on hand. My slippery PDA. Nope. D-esword and noslips. Ugh. More than getting sidelined five minutes into the shift, I'm more mad that I got killed by someone who cared more about winning then doing something fun.

I'm quickly dismembered and ghost out, grumbling I take the time to explore the station. Several bodies later security manages to pin the guy. It was another ten painful minutes before someone grabbed my body from the middle of the hallway.

It was this point I realized that my PDA with all my crystals (still locked) was picked up by some greyshirt who couldn't find soap. I look around, and can't find any sight of it. Even if I'm revived, someone begging for their PDA would set off some flags with the validhunters. This shift is also blessed with slow/new/incompetent medical staff and I'm forced to watch someone fumble with the corpses to clone them. At one point I'm shifted from the 'incoming' to the 'outbound' body pile without ever being put in the cloner. Holy fuck.

Eventually I'm hauled to the morgue. Oh! Green light! Brought back to the cloner. Finally, finally cloning started. Cloning is gets interrupted by engineers not doing their job, and the cloner shuts down. I'm ejected half baked. Head butting the airlock a couple times I make my way into the main lobby. Spend the next eight minutes fighting my own severe retardation to get someone to put me in the cryo. Never happened. Pointing between me and the cryo while power continues to fail across the station. Eventually I just pop the beaker out of the cryo, chug it, wrench a shower, and fix myself. Brain damage is now tolerable and I'll just put up with yellow health from clone damage. Then the gravity goes out.

Fine. Good. Whatever. It's been like an hour and I'm finally able to participate in the round. I loop around the station trying to find the tool storage. I don't care about a belt, or even a multi-tool. I scavenge the basics from the scraps in the tool storage. The shuttle is on its way, and I'm just going to make the break in, grab the jetpack and get out. I shock myself but I learn the wires I need.

Your skin feels warm.

Oh... son of a bitch!! The SM engine is exploding and I can see the explosion rippling towards me so I make like a tree and get the fuck out of there. Now, I've learned from my experiences that while explosions are scary, the shrapnel they throw is just as deadly. So I don't stop, I keep going and turn around the corner. I'm safe. Finally.

Nope. The outer limit of the shockwave stops just shy of this side of the wall flings a potted plant directly at my head. Between the clone damage and the electric shock, the pot sends me into crit.

I throw up my hands get up and walk away from the computer 900% done with the round. I leave and get a snack and a drink. I come back to a janitor who medipen'd me and gets me back on my feet. Amazing. I loiter outside the bridge and a passing borg opens the way and I slip into the captains off. The area is breached and there's no air, but I'm only here for a bit. Open the suit storage, just the jet pack sweet. Stash it in Mr. Honkington and... BYOND crashes. Holy shit this round. Reload. Wait for ads. Back in the game and I'm suffocating! Quick! Open internals box, grab the mask first out of habit, right. Clown. Already have the mask. Grab airtank aaanndd pass out.

A chemist wanders in and starts rummaging, ignoring the unconscious clown and the burning corpse. Captain comes in, ignores the body, the still living chemist, takes my body out of their, and drags me to the bridge. I'm waiting to be stripped but it doesn't come, hope wells up and perhaps I'll be rescued. Nope. Captains draws his sabre and decapitates me, puts my head on display with three others.

/TG/ Station, no fun allowed.

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Sun Jan 01, 2017 5:36 am #239994

>mid round traitor
>kill bar dude
>time to do what i usually do, bundaru time!
>edgy lord
>awwwww yis
>go to bar
>du duuuu dun dun duuun
>GET FUCKING KILLED INTANTLY BY A REVOLVER TRAITOR
>get cloned
>try to attack ligger medical staff
>get shrekt
>get borged
>try to kill ligger again for hooman harm
>get locked down by hooman white knight
>die
>rage quit
>come back
>wiznerd
>awww cool, time to rng staff
>get some other spells
>trys to kill assistant
>don't
>try to go "balls out"
>get disarmed once
>"heheh good thing I have recall"
>lol you didnt bind anything you stupid nigger
>go directly to the bar to drink away my failure
>say i dont care anymore
>the rest try to vlad me
>hos trys to fuck me
>fuck off get cuffed
>tells him that i dont care
>go back to bar
>get lynched
>"WAIT"
>"PLEASE WAIT"
>time stop, magic missle, disarm
>die due to ebin valids
I wonder what yog is doing these days

Digdugxx · Post by **Digdugxx** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 6:42 am #240385

It ain't TG but I got wordlessly perma banned from a fallout server for naming myself Preston Garvey and saying "ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS YOUR HELP" to random people

Screemonster · Tue Jan 03, 2017 6:58 am

Digdugxx wrote:It ain't TG but I got wordlessly perma banned from a fallout server for naming myself Preston Garvey and saying "ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS YOUR HELP" to random people

worth it

Post by **Armhulen** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:17 am #240403

Digdugxx wrote:It ain't TG but I got wordlessly perma banned from a fallout server for naming myself Preston Garvey and saying "ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS YOUR HELP" to random people

i laughed extremely hard

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 1:05 pm #240428

Literally the only good thing you ever did.

InsaneHyena · Post by **InsaneHyena** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 6:09 pm #240480

Digdugxx wrote:It ain't TG but I got wordlessly perma banned from a fallout server for naming myself Preston Garvey and saying "ANOTHER SETTLEMENT NEEDS YOUR HELP" to random people

The admins on Fallout server were right in banning you, but just picked a wrong reason.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:53 pm #240499

>skub debate rages in ooc
>throw my anti-skub lot in
>round begins
>plasmameme chemist
>ANTI-SKUB
>skub worshippers are doing stupid shit like shit i do except it's NOT ME REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>tear in skub-space appears in holodeck, spilling skub into the physical plane
>oh yeah there's also some plasma but that won't be an issue because i'm a plasmaman and someone will try to take off my helmet before the plasma actually ignites
>skub and skub worshippers in one space? okay!
>make an acid grenade to purge the pro-skub filth once and for all
>drop it in the holodeck to melt some skub (and some skubloving faces)
>blow it
>acid-smoke billows everywhere
>melts literally everything and everyone, including myself
>at some point something sparks, setting off a firey chain reaction (whoops)
>holodeck is fire and acid
>there is nothing left of holodeck or its inhabitants
>except the skub-portal
>and all the skub it's shooting out

jesus christ why did i even bother

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:00 pm #240738

Hijack objective, pray to gods for something gimmicky instead, no answer. Whatever.

Things start looking really good when I get the uplink implant on major discount, giving me more than 20 crystals to work with AND I get the additional discount gear from the second uplink. Awesome.
Atmos tech runs by spouting blood, mid-suicide. I follow behind to pick up their atmos/maint ID and a loaded belt. Awesome.
I buy myself an ebow, EMP flashlight, emag, and no-slip shoes and decide to start prowling for dangerous targets to pick one by one to make the final hijack easier. Security, heads of staff, etc.
Borg runs past me dragging a body, whatever. I get to where the guy went down and there's just a .357 revolver laying in the middle of the hallway. Holy shit awesome.
I use my natural lawyer ID to return to the brig to formulate a plan, I see a dead scientist in the brig hallway. Some assistants are trying to smash the cell window to get to him. He's wearing a bunch of security gear....
Curious, I haul him somewhere safe and loot him. SECOND Emag. two tasers, egun, loaded security belt, a SECOND revolver + autoloader. Mother fucking christmas.
I resume my patrols looking for potential targets.

See a miner in drake armour yelling for an RD to help him take down a troublesome atmostech that's Wanted for some reason. The beat him down, and strip his backpack.

Cy Wolfe: "I'll take this to security"

Perfect I think. Miners are dangerous once they survive to the lavaland end-game. Meathooks, Tarot card gaurdians, staves of lava are all awful things to fight against.
I helpfully let him into the brig. He heads towards the warden's desk to drop off what I assume is a flamethrower backtank. I've got the scoop that security is off in engineering, so I casually drop him with the ebow, and move in to silence his radio with my EMP flashlight.
AFter that, I'll restun him and--HOLYFUCKTHATSADRAGON

I didn't realize that the ash drake transformation potion allows you to freely switch between dragon and human forms. I had always thought it was a one-way trip to becoming a lesser megafauna. Every lesser drake I'd seen to that point had never transformed back, and always ended up dying in drake form. So when I moved up alongside him and silenced his radio, I was in melee range for a swift bite to my leg, and was made slow enough that I couldn't dodge the follow-up fire breath. In full retreat mode I make for the brig door, and fumble for one of my many guns to fire back, but he's giving zero fucks and crits me on the next bite and gibs me on the third.

I'm just left staring at the screen. If I had just shot at him from a distance, I would have killed him just as easily. Would have been able to dodge attacks too. Nope. Tried to be fancy. Tried to be thorough and secretive. Got surprised by the very thing I was trying to avoid having to deal with.

Rule 10. Losing is part of the game.
Your character will frequently die, sometimes without even a possibility of avoiding it. Events will often be out of your control. No matter how good or prepared you are, sometimes you just lose.

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 7:24 pm #240747

MimicFaux wrote:EMP flashlight

Man of extreme taste

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:37 pm #240787

MimicFaux wrote:Hijack objective

MimicFaux wrote: Atmos tech runs by spouting blood, mid-suicide. I follow behind to pick up their atmos/maint ID and a loaded belt. Awesome.
I buy myself an ebow, EMP flashlight, emag, and no-slip shoes

brutal handicap

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 2:30 am #240897

IcePacks wrote:
MimicFaux wrote:Hijack objective

MimicFaux wrote: Atmos tech runs by spouting blood, mid-suicide. I follow behind to pick up their atmos/maint ID and a loaded belt. Awesome.
I buy myself an ebow, EMP flashlight, emag, and no-slip shoes
brutal handicap

What?

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 2:40 am #240902

>Has shooty
>Doesn't use it to drop the miner in 1 second.

Laughingmedbaywhores.malf

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 3:19 am #240907

calzilla1 wrote:
IcePacks wrote:
MimicFaux wrote:Hijack objective

MimicFaux wrote: Atmos tech runs by spouting blood, mid-suicide. I follow behind to pick up their atmos/maint ID and a loaded belt. Awesome.
I buy myself an ebow, EMP flashlight, emag, and no-slip shoes
brutal handicap
What?

you picked up the keys to probably one of the most (if not the most) potent mass-murder engines on the station and then proceeded to ignore it and buy a bunch of redundant emps and an ebow without even picking up a lethal tool for an objective that requires either an absurd sum of property destruction or an absurd sum of murder

Whoisthere · Post by **Whoisthere** » Thu Jan 05, 2017 2:19 pm #241019

Or killing engies, blowing engieborgs, boltmagging the airlocks and breaking into the cockpit from space.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Fri Jan 06, 2017 10:33 pm #241521

Whoisthere wrote:Or killing engies, blowing engieborgs, boltmagging the airlocks and breaking into the cockpit from space.

This doesn't work well ever since shuttle walls became deconstructable

Cayce · Post by **Cayce** » Sat Jan 07, 2017 11:37 am #241653

The Tragic Saga of the Crimson Knight

So, this was the second round in a row as a lowpop assistant that I'd gotten antag. The round prior I'd been a bit of a prat and had killed most of the crew. Despite my love of salt mining, I decided to penalize myself the subsequent round, by deciding I couldn't kill anyone.

I bought an Emag, Blood Red Hardsuit, thermal glasses and a Flashlight EMP.
I emagged into the armory and made off with all of the tazers, and then emagged into the Captain's office, took his sword and his radio.

The HOP was the first to see me, and began shooting immediately. I tazed him, and cablecuffed him, and fried his radio.
He was screaming bloody murder, demanding to know why I was killing him. I merely dragged him to Engineering Maint and cuffed him to a chair in the room west of the engine that has a window to space. I took his ID, and left him there to figure a way out.

Using the HOP's ID, I made myself an all-access ID, named The Crimson Knight. On my way back to the depths of maint, I saw the HOS, who fired a few shots, but I escaped, losing a tazer to a chemist with an acid sprayer. In Secure Tech Storage I made a small base, planting a tazer charger, building a comms console. I used Cargo to buy a tazer crate and set up a rack with a half dozen of them, so I could rotate in and out of the base and always come home to a fresh tazer.

Using the comms console I sent a series of expositional captain's message about The Crimson Knight, stating that I was there to test the mettle of the crew. My next chance came when the HOS was spotted in the engineering hallway and we had a protracted gunfight, before I tazed him trying to enter Tech Storage, where I had withdrawn to. After cuffing the HOS, I blew his headset and took his PDA/ID. I dragged him deep into maint, and cuffed him to a chair in northwestern engineering maint, in a room with a full toolbox.

Captain Announces
The Black Knight was found wanting, and was left, chained in a dungeon. The folly of a man, to breach another Knight's sanctum.

I also took his gun, which became my main weapon going forwards. After returning to the armory again, I had several brief gunfights with goons the HOS had given the armory out to, who all attempted to shoot lethals, but also mostly escaped my IRON JUSTICE without being stunned. In the armory, the The Crimson Knight received his loyal steed-- the Secway.

Traversing the halls atop his noble steed, the The Crimson Knight found a man in a riot suit carrying an energy gun. After stunning and stripping him, I found out it was an assistant, so I dragged him into the hall, and released him. Returning to the The Crimson Sanctum, I refreshed my tazers in time to hear the HOS on the radio, directing people to him. Somehow, he'd found a headset or made his work again.

I saw his army of flunkies in southern engineering maint, searching for him, and saw him behind the door with a stunprod, so I opened the door and tazed him, cuffed him, and dragged him to the The Crimson Sanctum. He began to ask why I was doing what I was doing, and I spoke for the first time in the round, showing my face.

"Because I'm not a murderer."

I explained that I merely wanted to test the station's strength, and that I had found it wanting. I left him cuffed to a bed with his ID, and stated I was leaving, to go find other challenges. I was leaving the station through the security airlock when I heard a challenge from one of the HOS' men over the radio, and so I asked the terms. Solo combat, no lethals.

We were to meet in the brig area, and we did. Only, my challenger had a riot shield, and none of my tazer bolts would go through. And then he began firing a laser gun. And then two of his friends joined in. I tanked the hits from them while firing back ineffectually, until I made it to the airlock, and escaped into space, but bleeding out, near crit. I decided to return to see if I could nab a medkit, but they were still there.

The Crimson Knight's final deathblows came in kicks and impacts from an oxygen tank.
The Crimson Knight's final words were "Cowardice."

And then The Crimson Knight died, dishonored by a foul and gutless dueling partner.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Jan 07, 2017 1:51 pm #241670

gotta get dem valids

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Sat Jan 07, 2017 5:02 pm #241713

wow what bags o' dicks

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:37 am #241899

Roll traitor.
Get a suit because you gotta look stylish at all times.
Target signed up for the suicide HoP Line apparently. Cool.
Get myself a few trinkets from uplink.
Go to the brig to hire myself out to security as a mercenary. Slip in behind a lawyer.
I start typing my introduction.
I get wordlessly tased.
The captain happens to roll in just as they are rooting through my backpack.
"Captain, we caught a traitor."
"Execute them."
ಠ_ಠ
Alt + F4

Post by **Armhulen** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:17 am #241908

sometimes always hippie

Doctor Pork · Post by **Doctor Pork** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:22 am #241951

Starting a chilled out MircroliteD20 with DM Steve, Caverns of the Honkmother module.
Ligger wants to play.
No ligger rule.
"Cmon lets let him play."
"Sweet I'll go get us some snacks."
Ligger immediately pizzabombs us for his memetext.

Around liggers pull the trigger. Always. Lesson fucking learned.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:48 pm #241993

#NotAllLizards

confused rock · Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:11 pm

#only 99.5% of lizards

Screemonster · Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:04 pm

#greenlivesmatter

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:20 pm #242087

Screemonster wrote:#greenlivesdon'tmatter

Fixed

Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:28 pm

I had a pretty terrible series of rounds last night.

Round 1:
Roll HoP
Give out access to a few people looking to explore space or maint.
Assistant walks up to my window and says I should leave the station while I have the chance
Kinda play it off as if he was joking, but say over command it might be revs.
Suddenly my keyboard dies.
I use the on screen keyboard to ahelp and say I have to fix my computer, and tell command Ill be braindead for a sec.
Just before I shut down the computer someone breaks into my office and tases me.
Fix the problem
Restart ss13, round is over, revs win.

Round 2:
Roll ops.
We declare war and gear up.
First guy out of the shuttle goes the wrong way and leads half of us off the zlevel.
Most of us make it back.
Bomb planted at comms, but somehow common survives the explosion so we have to shut stuff off manually.
I get ready to set up the power sink
Suddenly a guy with a riot shield and a shotgun comes running into the breach
I manage to drop my tools and pull a gun out
*click*
Apparantly they dont start with a round chambered
I get an entire mag of shotgun shells to the face and die instantly through a shielded hardsuit.
Rest of the ops all die, even after killing the guy with the disk
Everyone is super salty in deadchat.

Round 3:
Roll HoP again somehow
Start helping first person in HoP line.
Office fills with smoke, I get knocked down
Suddenly wizard
He starts killing me with a singularity hammer
Get out my baton, manage to deploy it but get downed just before I can hit him with it.
Die
He steals my ID and someone drags me to cloning
Wizard proceeds to murder everyone he sees.
I see him dragging a body just as I leave medbay and manage to hit him with an explosive lance I found on the ground.
I grab the body and start to bring him to medbay as the wizard jaunts away
Suddenly blinded, fireballed, and spaced by a random chaos magicarp.
After murdering nearly everyone the shuttle is called by the wizard.
Admin makes it a cult shuttle, with a bunch of monsters on it.
Become an eyeball.
Every other monster leaves to break a bunch of shit in centcomm
Arrive on station, kill the carp once it gets onto the shuttle abd starts attacking.
Suddenly fireballed by yet another chaos magicarp.

Last round:
Roll HoP yet again
Only head, so I grab the captain's things.
Help the people in the HoP line, then leave to make sure everything was being set up.
Get about 10 steps out of the bridge before I get ebow'd
Call for help as the guy drags me around stabbing me with an edagger
Die, murderer gets into a fight with the crew and someone drags my body to cloning.
I get scanned and start to clone, murderer breaks into cloning, steals and cremates my body.
Pop out of the cloner and into cryo.
Once healed I walk back to the entrance to cloning, to see if they had managed to save any of my things
Mime walks up and shoots me with a syringe gun.
Die in front of cloning room, takes them 20 minutes to clone me.
Retrieve some clothes and such from the captain's office as someone managed to save my ID.
Decide to walk through maint to arrivals and check if my backpack was still there (it wasnt cremated with my body).
Someone set up a conveyer belt that pushes you into a shocked grill and covered it with an open locker.
Dont see it in time and instantly die again.
I spent avout 5 minutes alive that round

Post by **Armhulen** » Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:41 pm #242654

traitor AI

just want to hang out and be chill, listen in on humies and enjoy myself

genetic hulk gives himself xray and space survival thing, goes over to my core and sees i'm malf

kills me

i don't know if they're a traitor but if they're not THEY GAVE THEMSELF XRAY AND HULK AND SHIT AND METAGAMED MY CORE JSUT TO SEE I WAS A TRAITOR FUCK

I HATE THAT SHIT MAN

literally no words were spoken after he EMP'd my core and wordlessly punched me to death

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:06 pm #242964

Behold the cancer that is killing /tg/.

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:40 pm #243394

> Be tator tot.
> TC trade for ayy.
> Admeme agrees.
> Off around, collect some apes to infest when I become queen.
> Gonna play it stealthy thi-
> COMMAND UPDATE "LIFESIGNS ABOARD MULTIPLYING, PREPARE TO EVAC"
> nigga wat.
> Shuttle called instantly.
> ' they said prepare to evac'
> First ayy no born until the shuttle is halfway here.
> Achieve nothing, am nothing.

May as well have murderboned, would have at least been able to do something.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Jan 12, 2017 10:50 pm #243414

>ayy
You mean lusty. Ayy is something else.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:20 am #243468

More embarrassing than anything else, but...

>sec officer
>not very robust, but trying to play more of the role
>rad warning that I miss (audio didn't play for some reason?)
>apprehend some murderer in robotics with only one bystander accidentally tazed
>feel pretty good about myself, dragging him to sec
>AI: "get into maint you fucks"
>wait, what
>GREEN SCREEN
>pass out
>perp runs off, probably dies off screen
>mutate comic sans, xray, hope I survive
>You feel one with your surroundings.
>please no
>dying of radiation
>slowly turning fucking invisible
>go into crit fully transparent
>corpse sits on the tile above morgue door for the entire round unnoticed

i don't know why i'm posting this because it's fucking embarrassing but my shame must be known

Other highlights of the round:

-the guy who tried to break into the AI core but gave up on the second wall while we waited for him
-the changeling the AI saw morph an arm blade tried to tell us it was a rainbow slime(???) after he revived himself in the crematorium (spoiler: he was fucking burned alive)
-these
http://i.imgur.com/E3JqYfZ.png
http://i.imgur.com/Aa5PpXx.png

RIP Ultrameens Drydock Seven, probably one of the best shifts I've ever seen (EDIT: as sec)

Post by **Armhulen** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 3:33 am #243469

Qbopper wrote:More embarrassing than anything else, but...

>sec officer
>not very robust, but trying to play more of the role
>rad warning that I miss (audio didn't play for some reason?)
>apprehend some murderer in robotics with only one bystander accidentally tazed
>feel pretty good about myself, dragging him to sec
>AI: "get into maint you fucks"
>wait, what
>GREEN SCREEN
>pass out
>perp runs off, probably dies off screen
>mutate comic sans, xray, hope I survive
>You feel one with your surroundings.
>please no
>dying of radiation
>slowly turning fucking invisible
>go into crit fully transparent
>corpse sits on the tile above morgue door for the entire round unnoticed

i don't know why i'm posting this because it's fucking embarrassing but my shame must be known

Other highlights of the round:

-the guy who tried to break into the AI core but gave up on the second wall while we waited for him
-the changeling the AI saw morph an arm blade tried to tell us it was a rainbow slime(???) after he revived himself in the crematorium (spoiler: he was fucking burned alive)
-these
http://i.imgur.com/E3JqYfZ.png
http://i.imgur.com/Aa5PpXx.png

RIP Ultrameens Drydock Seven, probably one of the best shifts I've ever seen (EDIT: as sec)

i got traitor, then got stung by an unstable mutagen bee and a chloral bee, died on the spot with chameleon five minutes in and was never found

FUCK. CHAMELEON.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Sat Jan 14, 2017 6:58 pm #243984

>meta
>some chucklefuck is bleeding out in front of medbay
>pull him in, bandage, sleeper, etc.
>suddenly esword unsheaths
>some other chucklefuck is smacking me with it
>start to limp off
>I'm going to fucking die here because I helped someone
>realize
>I ate a floor banada and kept the peel
>this is my fucking moment
>pull it out
>Q
>hilarious hijinks ensue
>this is the first time I've ever been robust like this
>prepare to grab the esword and ironically end his fucking life
>suddenly a lizard appears
>walks into me by mistake
>I slip on my own peel
>"WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS"
>lizard realizes his mistake and grabs the e sword
>traitor runs off

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Jan 14, 2017 7:28 pm #243988

Lizards: preventing human harm since 2557.

Doctor Pork · Sat Jan 14, 2017 11:29 pm

DemonFiren wrote:Lizards: preventing human harm since 2557.

That seems... wildly inaccurate.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:01 am #244075

Take your human supremacist propaganda out of this thread.

InsaneHyena · Sun Jan 15, 2017 12:46 am

It's not propaganda if it's the truth.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:09 am #244255

In post-truth politics, maybe.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 6:16 am #245612

>lowpop box since server just crashed
>ai
>kden
>minor bullshittery, plasma leak in toxins, randomass explosions with seemingly no cause in chapel and library
>few shitters get dunked
>suddenly see brass windows surrounding a lavaland chest in front of bridge
>hover mouse: pandora's box
>oh yeah this can totally end well
>peanut gallery sitting around trying to break the windows
>preemptive shuttle call because i am fully aware that shit is gonna go south soon, cue immediate crew whining
>fuck count is in negatives
>window breaking doesnt seem to be working
>maybesomethingnicewillhappen.louis
>atmos tech somehow moves the glass and box is promptly opened
>shitton of frogs spawn, crew starts walking all over them to what i presume to be an unholy cacophony that rivals even the admin midis choices
>well i guess its not so b---
>suddenly frogs start fucking STREAMING off from their massive stacks and attack the crew
>WHYTHEFUCKWOULDANYTHINGNICEEVERHAPPEN.louis
>to top it all off most of the ship's apcs suddenly go to zero
>yeah why the fuck not
>frogs breaking windows to space in their mad rush to reeeee the crew
>most frogs die to the vacuum (small blessings)
>one frog is purple and named "rare frog," drags around the burning corpse of the ce to terrorize the living
>HOS was busy doing...something, asks what the hell is going on
>"frogs are evil and trying to kill us sir"
>"what? the frogs are fine"
>literally not even ten seconds later watch as the hos is running from a stream of them, trying to laser and baton them
>"yeah hos totally friendly fam"
>shuttle arrives, promptly emagged
>lawyer with esword and all access for god knows why trying to break into my sat because ????????????
>captain comes back from being braindead as round ends
>"what'd i miss guys?"
>"a lot sir"

screenie:

Post by **Armhulen** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 6:23 am #245613

I WAS THE ONE FROG WHO ESCAPED, FUCK YOU MINER BORG.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:34 am #245651

>unholy cacophony
more like unholy kekophony

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:44 pm #245678

Deitus wrote:frog

this was the round cobble was teaching me badmin tactics

surprisingly wasn't me that caused this

Doctor Pork · Thu Jan 19, 2017 10:11 pm

Deitus wrote:snip

DURKELLLLLLLLLL!

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Jan 20, 2017 3:40 pm #246042

Deitus wrote:Frogpocalypse.txt

I remember that round. Either Cobby or Thunder was a god for having the 'plague of frogs' song from the movie Prince of Egypt, and had it playing as soon as the frogs started rampaging. If we weren't already in space, my sides would have been in orbit.

Weepo · Post by **Weepo** » Fri Jan 20, 2017 7:48 pm #246154

Spawn in as scientist. Get telebaton'd by the RD, get converted to cuck cult.

holy moley I can't type suicide fast enough.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 7:50 am #246359

>jani narnar cult member on box
>ohboyherewego
>ask HOP if there's a mining slot
>after making himself about 5 different ID's and packaging them all he tells me there's one open
>just fuck my shit up fam
>grab miner gear and head to lavaland
>one guy has already headed out it seems
>head over to the base dorms
>drop a teleport rune and spawn myself a shell and shard
>go to grab medkit
>nigger already took it
>lets try and find my fellow miner friend...
>go out myself
>not even 30 tiles to the right are the nar'sie ruins
>how fitting
>walk on a lava tile by accident
>fuckfuckfuck back to base and grab extinguisher
>lets try this again
>go back to narnar ruins and go inside because im a dumbass and dont mine often/dont know ruins
>you'remadeagravemistakehaventyou.txt
>fuck
>try to book it
>turna-turn-tu-t-t-urnaro-turnaroun-tur-tu-turnarounddddddd
>FUCK
>putter around a bit thinking i fucked myself over
>hear over comms that cult was found, tell my mates to hide
>no response
>about to suicide but find the cult wand thing that scoots you forward a bit
>wew
>nab it and the ritual knife and get out
>decide to go look for miner friend again
>find him battling some goliaths and a tendril
>beats it as i approach
>he runs to grab the chest but he loses it somehow
>"goddammit i almost had that. whats up?"
>"y-you too"
>get a couple of hits in with knife
>he books it
>try to chase
>only way out is a tile-wide chokepoint, otherwise he could easily escape my unrobustness
>whips out his KA
>oh right lavaland is vacuum
>i do same
>after nearly dying myself i finally take him down
>soul shard him and take his kit to heal up
>take him back to dorms and make an arti
>"i dont know cult that well fam"
>tell him to just make shells/shards and chill while i go fishing for converts
>try to use rune
>nobody else has set up runes
>fucking
>go back to station via shuttle
>apparently sec and the cap have gone full turbohitler in their cult hunt
>cap lasering down randomass people in the halls
>scoot past
>drop a rune in dorms and in locker room toilets
>bust open arrivals sec for a paper stack
>go back to base, arti has busted the other walls of the dorms down to make a wider space
>good thinking artibro
>make some stun/bind/emp talismans before going back to the station
>wander around trying to find a loner
>scientist looking at orm
>"yo there's no minerals"
>walk to machine
>"uhhhh check again!"
>she looks again, i whip out paper
>she turns around and backs the fuck up
>FUCK SHE KNOWS
>"no there's nothing in there still"
>oh phew
>"y-you too"
>stun, bind, drag to toilet rune
>teleport back in and start making a convert rune
>...
>nah i didnt just hear laser fire
>sec officer busts in
>YEP I HEARD LAS-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>crit
>officer beating the poor scientist
>deathwhisper she's not cult
>miraculously he spares her as i ghost
>clown (???) and sec officer head back to station, turbohitlers have almost got the shuttle here
>as shuttle departs sec officer and some nigger in a bomb suit come back to the mining base
>wot
>they bust in and bomb suit nigga pulls out a bomb just before the door to long corridor leading to the base living area
>tosses it and tries to run
>boom
>-oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo---
>-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
>-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM
>bomb destruction proc keeps fucking spreading
>officer and bombnigga gibbed
>mining base completely obliterated
>spreads out and PAST the fucking gulag, annihilating it too
>easily the biggest explosion i've ever seen in all my time playing spessmen
>mfw there's a HOLE INTO SPACE at ground zero
>in LAVALAND
>didnt even know that was possible

then the round ended and we all had to wait five minutes for the admins to sort the captain/sec out because something something random searches? honestly was just a chill round for me, but technically rage i guess since i died, iunno. shoulda taken some screenies of the bomb aftermath though, jesus.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 5:12 pm #246404

deitus said rude things to me when he was an AI and then I got caught in a disposals loop one of his borgs made

it was VERY LOUD IN THERE