Captain events

Fri Oct 28, 2016 10:37 pm

The current server MOTD states:

New rule test: The captain is now empowered to run events as if they were a pseudo admin. Casualties will be excused so long as the "events" are creative/in good fun. Try not to run this into the ground.

What are some examples of good events that a captain can run?

Bolien · Post by **Bolien** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 8:02 am #222177

Ligger shoah, fun for the whole family!

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 8:25 am #222179

One thing i'd like to do is enforce a corporate dinner for the whole station, make engineers refit the bar to hold all the station population, hire more chefs for cooking and clowns for entertainment, and hope traitors resort to poisoning food instead of just placing a syndibomb.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:19 am #222198

XDTM wrote:One thing i'd like to do is enforce a corporate dinner for the whole station, make engineers refit the bar to hold all the station population, hire more chefs for cooking and clowns for entertainment, and hope traitors resort to poisoning food instead of just placing a syndibomb.

I would so totally trade my TCs for a SyndiWrath.

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:49 am #222217

DemonFiren wrote:
XDTM wrote:One thing i'd like to do is enforce a corporate dinner for the whole station, make engineers refit the bar to hold all the station population, hire more chefs for cooking and clowns for entertainment, and hope traitors resort to poisoning food instead of just placing a syndibomb.
I would so totally trade my TCs for a SyndiWrath.

Imagine a mayhem in a bottle from bubblegum being used in here

tedward1337 · Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:29 am

I was thinking of drills to run. Much like fire drills people have to go through at their place of work.

Only problem I see with this is if it were a nuke op drill and getting unlucky enough to actually have the round mode BE nuke ops. I'd feel kind of shit for that
Same for wiz I suppose.

Super Aggro Crag · Sat Oct 29, 2016 3:43 pm

Space prom.

onleavedontatme · Sat Oct 29, 2016 4:12 pm

tedward1337 wrote:I was thinking of drills to run. Much like fire drills people have to go through at their place of work.

Only problem I see with this is if it were a nuke op drill and getting unlucky enough to actually have the round mode BE nuke ops. I'd feel kind of shit for that
Same for wiz I suppose.

I once ran a nuke op drill where I gave a bunch of assistants guns and a pin pointer and they started chasing me around. Security nearly executed all of them when they stormed the brig coming after me.

But once I'd gotten that all sorted out the same militia saved the station from a cult, so it was all worth it.

ShadowDimentio · Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:01 pm

Excellent idea.

Lumbermancer · Sat Oct 29, 2016 9:59 pm

Kor wrote:I once ran a nuke op drill where I gave a bunch of assistants guns and a pin pointer and they started chasing me around. Security nearly executed all of them when they stormed the brig coming after me.

But once I'd gotten that all sorted out the same militia saved the station from a cult, so it was all worth it.

I once ran a nuclear drill with the backing of centcom. I got the code, and primed the bomb on max timer. Despite announcing the drill beforehand, the crew stormed the vault and lynched me.

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sat Oct 29, 2016 11:43 pm #222336

That's because the crew are fundamentally incapable of speaking in anything but the language of Valids.

ShadowDimentio · Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:24 am

That's the cue for HQ failing the crew and nuking the station remotely.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 8:02 am #222404

It's a sad day when I agree with shadowmemes.

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 8:12 am #222409

I tried to run a 'Station goal is clear the entirety of Lavaland a few good crew members cleared 1/4th of it. I was proud but everyone was jerking off in the bar. Not much sec force to help interest crew to mine.

Post by **TehSteveo** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:35 pm #222429

Lumbermancer wrote:
Kor wrote:I once ran a nuke op drill where I gave a bunch of assistants guns and a pin pointer and they started chasing me around. Security nearly executed all of them when they stormed the brig coming after me.

But once I'd gotten that all sorted out the same militia saved the station from a cult, so it was all worth it.
I once ran a nuclear drill with the backing of centcom. I got the code, and primed the bomb on max timer. Despite announcing the drill beforehand, the crew stormed the vault and lynched me.

Successful drill!

Post by **Armhulen** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:42 pm #224619

played hos three times yesterday, two of the three the captain did a deport/detail/gulag the lizards shit

come on sheeple

Bolien · Post by **Bolien** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:32 pm #224644

Armhulen wrote:played hos three times yesterday, two of the three the captain did a deport/detail/gulag the lizards shit

come on sheeple

But its fun for the whole family!

iamgoofball · Post by **iamgoofball** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:36 pm #224645

runescape leveling grind

letshavecake · Tue Nov 08, 2016 8:03 pm

Armhulen wrote:played hos three times yesterday, two of the three the captain did a deport/detail/gulag the lizards shit

come on sheeple

Better to exile them to live among the ash walkers
Then they'll get depressed and realize that they're just meme lizards with joke names and will never be real argonians connected to the hist the tendril, and they'll kill themselves for you

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Nov 08, 2016 9:32 pm #224699

>ash walkers
>anywhere close to real argonians
Dude no.

letshavecake · Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:33 pm

They live in a shithole, are tribal, are intrinsically tied to an otherworldly plant that gives them life, and have a penchant for swarming invaders and overwhelming them with raw numbers
Fuccboi station lizards are traitors to their heritage, and are only similar to argonians in that they are used for slave labor by the superior races

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:22 am #224827

Run elections for the position of HoP.
Colonize space.
Mandatory drug testing.
PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS.
Enforcing a station religion.
Making the station declare independence from Centcom.
Making the station declare independence from the Syndicate.
Making the station declare independence from the station.
Enforce Clownhood for all personnel.
Declare yourself God-Emperor and demand sacrifices in your name.

onleavedontatme · Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:24 am

I saw a captain named Nicholas Cage flood bees from the holodeck.

iamgoofball · Post by **iamgoofball** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:28 am #224829

trump captains are officially not funny anymore

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:45 am #224840

Holy fuck, Goof speaking sense.

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 7:46 am #224841

iamgoofball wrote:trump captains are officially not funny anymore

You're not my supervisor

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 8:11 am #224858

Force all assistants to get jobs. If they refuse, banish them to maintenance and subject them to beatings or other punishments for non compliance.

iamgoofball · Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:23 pm

Anonmare wrote:
iamgoofball wrote:trump captains are officially not funny anymore
You're not my supervisor

we're about to have a trump captain irl for 4 years

it's not funny anymore

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:39 pm #225039

iamironicball wrote: it's not funny anymore

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:40 pm #225040

I am not sure if goof isn't serious here.
But I'm kinda sorta inclined to agree, if only to make the memes stop.

Bolien · Post by **Bolien** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:42 pm #225042

Let this be a warning to all that memes should stay dreams.

That said... WAKE ME UP.

iamgoofball · Wed Nov 09, 2016 10:45 pm

i'm serious

it's not fucking funny anymore

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Wed Nov 09, 2016 11:42 pm #225054

iamgoofball wrote:i'm serious

im not fucking funny anymore

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:09 am #225061

Some fucking captain made us do paperwork for eVERYTHING. Including opening maint during a radstorm, arresting people, turning off beepsky when it was stunlocking people, and people actually played along with it. It was a cult round.
The most surprising part? The cultists lost.
I plasma'd the shuttle as the last cultist and a construct because I hated whoever played that captain and whoever decided to play along with that captain.

tl;dr: NO DONT TURN OFF BEEPSKY FILL OUT PAPERWORK FIRST LET IT STUNLOCK THE CLOWN FOR 5 MINUTES IF NEED BE!

onleavedontatme · Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:16 am

kevinz000 wrote:Some fucking captain made us do paperwork for eVERYTHING. Including opening maint during a radstorm, arresting people, turning off beepsky when it was stunlocking people, and people actually played along with it. It was a cult round.
The most surprising part? The cultists lost.
I plasma'd the shuttle as the last cultist and a construct because I hated whoever played that captain and whoever decided to play along with that captain.

tl;dr: NO DONT TURN OFF BEEPSKY FILL OUT PAPERWORK FIRST LET IT STUNLOCK THE CLOWN FOR 5 MINUTES IF NEED BE!

This is amazing

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 12:27 am #225069

Bureaucracy wins

iamgoofball · Post by **iamgoofball** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 1:50 am #225074

calzilla1 wrote:
iamgoofball wrote:i'm serious

im not fucking funny anymore

MrAlphonzo · Post by **MrAlphonzo** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 3:03 am #225081

Having put most of my time into playing Captain, and seen a fair few Captain events, its a good idea that gets abused constantly. Even before this rule was added, you still had Captains who gave AIs lawsets like "Assistants aren't human" or "Kill all ligger". Its just not fun for anyone who plays as a non human. Ala Secborgs. I can't see this working without tighter rules, otherwise you'd find yourself BSAing a Captain to death every 2/3 shifts. But if I WERE to do one, I'd have everyone rebuild maintenance, to repair all of the abandoned departments. It'd be nice to have a back up Medbay, or bar, incase a traitor decides to blow up the originals. Of course, I wouldn't force anybody who didn't want to do it. Why would a botanist be building things in maintenance? Or a chemist? I wouldn't stop them from helping, but they have every right to do their job.

Post by **Owegno** » Thu Nov 10, 2016 8:32 am #225130

The only captain event that I have seen that was a good, fun idea was the captain running a nuke op drill where he had some volunteers gear up in cargo and after he said go they had permission to kill people to get the disk from him (Even had central give him the nuke codes which he gave to the "nuke ops"). Sadly the station caught fire before it could be really executed. Everything else I have seen is just X gets deported to gulag/non-humaned/killed.

Reyn · Post by **Reyn** » Sat Nov 12, 2016 9:26 pm #225940

X-Com Captain event

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sun Nov 13, 2016 3:42 am #226056

Capte the flag captain event. Divide the departments into two teams and define two somethings as the flag, preferably something that can't be forged. Teams have to capture the other team's flag with the reward being all-access. No lethals allowed or your disqualified.

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:16 am #226065

Anonmare wrote:Capte the flag captain event. Divide the departments into two teams and define two somethings as the flag, preferably something that can't be forged. Teams have to capture the other team's flag with the reward being all-access. No lethals allowed or your disqualified.

Medbay's hypospray and engineering blueprints. Rd react armor. Secs reflect vest.

Isane · Post by **Isane** » Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:32 am #226068

The ablative armor can just be ordered from cargo.

Anyway, actual fun and engaging Captain events would be great. So far I've mostly just seen them as an excuse to be a dick ("Kill all lizards" "Taze and demote everyone" etc)

Professor Hangar · Mon Nov 14, 2016 3:53 am

Space Station 13's Got Talent.
Bonus points for the captain going all Nero.

Oh, while I'm at it: WWE Station, and the captain will probably physically incapable of not being Vince McMahon.

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Mon Nov 14, 2016 5:24 am #226385

Stand-up comedy event with the Syndicate competing as a team. The prize is the Disk

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Nov 14, 2016 6:36 am #226394

Oh man.
Pun duels.
I'd actually play for this.

Cw3040 · Post by **Cw3040** » Mon Dec 05, 2016 1:13 pm #232542

A good captain event I saw on Sybil was the Cap giving two random assistants all-access and announcing that there would be random "robustness tests", but not what they would entail.

The testers were to go to a random person and start wailing on them with a toolbox. If they disarmed them, the test was passed. If the tester gets 5 hits off beforehand, the test was failed.
He let a traitor be one of the robustness testers.
I used guns instead of a toolbox.
I got superfucked

Doctor Pork · Post by **Doctor Pork** » Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:10 am #233308

Cw3040 wrote:A good captain event I saw on Sybil was the Cap giving two random assistants all-access and announcing that there would be random "robustness tests", but not what they would entail.

The testers were to go to a random person and start wailing on them with a toolbox. If they disarmed them, the test was passed. If the tester gets 5 hits off beforehand, the test was failed.
He let a traitor be one of the robustness testers.
I used guns instead of a toolbox.
I got superfucked

Ha, I was the other one "Sandy Ravage" and I was a macho man gimmick.