Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:25 am #199620

Bottom post of the previous page:

i had a very long and whimsical journey through parts of philadelphia's chinatown after a show thanks to the subway home being out of service. my body is starting to creak and ache like that of a much older man

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 6:20 am #199639

Who'd you see?

EndgamerAzari · Sat Jul 30, 2016 7:24 am

Oh shit, nsos, you're in PA? I'm in Wheeling WV so I'm only about a 15 minute drive from the border.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 11:23 am #199682

You ever been asleep and the cat has woke you up by shoving her face into your mouth?

Well apparently the reason they do this is to check if you're still breathing.
Now you might be thinking "Aww thats cute, my kitty's checking I'm still alive".

Well its not cute, because the little fucker is actually checking if to see if you're dead yet so it can start eating you.

Cats are cunts and will happily start munching on your freshly dead corpse before you've even gone cold, unlike dogs who will atleast wait a few days before they're so starving they need to eat you to live.

This has been your monthly PSA of: Dogs are better than cats.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:25 pm #199719

I'm dead, who cares what happens to my meatbag?

Remie Richards · Sat Jul 30, 2016 2:26 pm

Cats are just better than Dogs.
it's fact.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:28 pm #199725

Cats also have parasites in their shit that burrow into your brain to make you tolerate the fuckers more.

Its a symbiotic relationship because the breeding cycle of the parasites requires them to go into a mouse first which then gets eaten by a cat. So what it does is it makes the mouse no longer fear cats and in fact makes it attracted to cat piss.

If your cat has ever pissed on a something and you're like "This smells disgusting but I also can't stop sniffing it", you have feline fecal brain worms.

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:57 pm #199730

"Human! You have no fur and your face is exposed to the cold night air. Here. I'll help!"

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 3:59 pm #199731

"Oh no! He stopped breathing!"
"Better not let this go to waste!"

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 4:47 pm #199736

EndgamerAzari wrote:Oh shit, nsos, you're in PA? I'm in Wheeling WV so I'm only about a 15 minute drive from the border.

you're very close to pittsburgh then, i'm on the opposite side of the state but i've been pretty close before

An0n3 wrote:Who'd you see?

like 6 or 7 __core bands, the last ten seconds of life was the headliner, i went for barrier and darke complex who joined at the last minute (someone dropped out) even though they were playing in allentown the next day. they all played about 20 mins each which kind of sucked though. originally i was gonna go watch plebeian grandstand and some grind/bm bands at a "secret show" (which is kind of pointless bc i already knew the location, i've been there before) but i didn't have my car and the guy i knew was busy so i went to a friday show at a local club/bar/lounge thing instead. venue was good. no edgelords, no karate beyblade moshpit exhibitions, held conversations with bandmembers in between sets and everyone i talked to was chill. the first two opening local bands looked full of high schoolers.

the first local band that played had a black dude on guitar who i swear to god had a 2008-era scene haircut with the long straight blowout hair dyed red/blue. i couldn't look at him for very long because i kept getting myspace flashbacks.

it was mostly decent, even though i specifically remember the vocalist for the 2nd-to-last band on getting progressively angrier through his set because literally no one was moving. his band wasn't even bad jus kind of edgy but i felt bad for him the "mosh pit" was just 2 people. oh well.

i went to chinatown subway station and waited for 30 mins until it occurred to me the subway spur route wasn't fucking running. my phone was dead so i just wandered past chinatown landmarks to figure out where i was going. eventually i got to around city hall and i knew the other station was nearby but i was tired so i was like fuck it. went inside the train station, kiosk tells me next train home is in 55 minutes, i'm like "fuck that" and use the last 15% of my phone charge to guilt trip my friend into picking me up.

chinatown at night is like 90% yuppies and vaping hipsters.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 5:11 pm #199741

no karate beyblade moshpit exhibitions

There's no shortage of suburban white boy kung-fu practitioners up here. Every show is some dude trying out the shit he saw on a "Michael J Fox Teaches Capoeira" VHS tape.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Sat Jul 30, 2016 5:35 pm #199747

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Jul 31, 2016 3:12 am #199898

Took me just a sec. God dammit.

DrPillzRedux · Sun Jul 31, 2016 9:22 am

It's 2 in the morning and I'm about to do some tabs, meditate and sleep. Life is good.

420weedscopes · Sun Jul 31, 2016 5:02 pm

ColonicAcid wrote:broscience is good but now all the normies watch him so i can possibly ever watch him because i wont be niche enough like smh

Maccus wrote:colonic looks and sounds like he wants to play league professionally

ColonicAcid · Sun Jul 31, 2016 10:23 pm

i will fucking slap u

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Sun Jul 31, 2016 11:25 pm #200112

colonic can't be a leader because everyone who follows him dies

EndgamerAzari · Mon Aug 01, 2016 2:18 pm

420weedscopes wrote:
Maccus wrote:colonic looks and sounds like he wants to play league professionally

Still the most outright uncivilized thing I've ever seen

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Mon Aug 01, 2016 10:56 pm #200294

Sent a warning out to the other Oxford houses in my area not to let this guy we kicked out last night for relapsing move in. The guy drank four tall boys in his room and wandered into the kitchen completely wasted so we kicked him out on the spot (general rule of Oxford is that if you relapse you've got 15 minutes to pack your shit and get the fuck out, but if you're intoxicated you're not even allowed in the house). That's not all though. We had a guy moving in the next morning and while this guy was wasted he:
- pissed in a waste basket that was in his room
- left his beer cans strewn on the floor along with a couple more unopened tall boys stashed in the closet
- spat a huge gob of chew on the carpet
- left empty soda bottles filled with chew spit all over the fucking room
- spat EVEN MORE chew on someone's towel in the downstairs bathroom
- kept demanding we let him stay and even tried bribing us with beer

I've lived in three Oxford houses for the past year or so, seen people relapse and get kicked out, but I have never had any housemates do something as disgusting and disrespectful as this, hence the reason I was salty enough to warn the other houses about the cock sucker instead of letting them figure it out the hard way.

420weedscopes · Tue Aug 02, 2016 2:40 am

the flu is fuckin bad
somebody pet

Post by **oranges** » Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:42 am #200360

I'm late but dogs are literally the best pet, cats can't even compete with that shit.

IrishWristWatch0 · Tue Aug 02, 2016 11:02 am

Jacough wrote:
four tall boys
completely wasted

Lmao. Either he's a massive bitch or i have alcoholism.

Remie Richards · Tue Aug 02, 2016 11:03 am

oranges wrote:I'm late but cats are literally the best pet, dogs can't even compete with that shit.

Screemonster · Tue Aug 02, 2016 11:30 pm

IrishWristWatch0 wrote:
Jacough wrote:
four tall boys
completely wasted
Lmao. Either he's a massive bitch or i have alcoholism.

Other way around.

Actual full-on alcoholics lose their tolerance for alcohol and like one drink can get them wasted 'cause their liver just gives up on processing it.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:07 am #200521

>http://www.brad21.org/bac_charts.html

Looking at this chart I should definitely be dead from some of the shit I've pulled.
I've had two bottles of wine by myself multiple times, which is so much alcohol it's not even on the chart. Tops out at "DEATH POSSIBLE" and then stops.

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Wed Aug 03, 2016 2:11 am #200539

Depends on if it was good wine, or just the junk they top off with water

IrishWristWatch0 · Wed Aug 03, 2016 3:14 am

Screemonster wrote:
IrishWristWatch0 wrote:
Jacough wrote:
four tall boys
completely wasted
Lmao. Either he's a massive bitch or i have alcoholism.

Other way around.

Actual full-on alcoholics lose their tolerance for alcohol and like one drink can get them wasted 'cause their liver just gives up on processing it.

Oh ok ill take that knowledge and drink more. Drunk Irish return this Friday 10pm EST. 2une into Sybil for bans.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Aug 03, 2016 4:21 pm #200612

Since having my gallbladder out my alcohol tolerance has gone to shit.

EndgamerAzari · Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:04 pm

I'm going to try something once I start this Software Guild program next month. I'm going to be in a new environment with new people, so I'm going to try to reinvent myself as someone with a more positive outlook and not be constantly talking about how inept I think I am all the time.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:15 pm

EndgamerAzari wrote:I'm going to try something once I start this Software Guild program next month. I'm going to be in a new environment with new people, so I'm going to try to reinvent myself as someone with a more positive outlook and not be constantly talking about how inept I think I am all the time.

Oh oh oh! You can also give yourself a new name, call yourself The D or something.

EndgamerAzari · Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:17 pm

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON wrote:
EndgamerAzari wrote:I'm going to try something once I start this Software Guild program next month. I'm going to be in a new environment with new people, so I'm going to try to reinvent myself as someone with a more positive outlook and not be constantly talking about how inept I think I am all the time.
Oh oh oh! You can also give yourself a new name, call yourself The D or something.

It's a shame I'm not more assertive because there are SO MANY pick-up lines open to me because my name starts with D.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:30 pm #200639

one guy i knew called himself dagger dick

he's in jail now

EndgamerAzari · Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:31 pm

Good thing he's got a built-in shiv

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:48 pm #200644

If he is in jail then Dagger Dick is up for grabs dude!

Also be sure to brag to everyone about your internet fanclub and show them all the pictures Wiznard made

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:41 am #200668

My initials are DTF.

Like, no, seriously those are my actual initials.

captain sawrge · Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:49 am

i hate working my shitty minimum wage job but the idea of going to school makes me insanely fucking anxious but i guess that's life

420weedscopes · Thu Aug 04, 2016 12:08 pm

An0n3 wrote:My initials are DTF.

Like, no, seriously those are my actual initials.

Dad That Farts

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 3:06 pm #200757

Cosmic that is pretty rough dude. One of the worst parts of growing up is losing a lot of your old friends, they just kind of peel away even when you make some effort to retain them.

EndgamerAzari · Thu Aug 04, 2016 4:51 pm

420weedscopes wrote:
An0n3 wrote:My initials are DTF.

Like, no, seriously those are my actual initials.
Dad That Farts

When I was a kid, one time after reading me a bedtime story, my dad ripped one right before he left my room and the whole place smelled like deviled eggs for half an hour.

DrPillzRedux · Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:00 pm

I decided to strike while the iron is hot and take up that offer my previous employers competitor gave me. Hired an hour after arriving and a $1000 signing bonus.

Now what to spend it on.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:03 pm #200787

I'll gladly take it.
Expect many beautiful lizards.

EndgamerAzari · Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:05 pm

DrPillzRedux wrote:Now what to spend it on.

Be responsible and put it into savings. Feel mature while trying to ignore the implications that every good thing that happens to you as an adult must be used towards a non-fun end.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:15 pm #200795

Spend every dime on garbage from the dollar store, melt down all the plastic and use it to cast a gigantic statue of something dumb

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:41 pm #200796

I have my money in savings.
Every year it gains a bit of more whilst actually loosing much more.

Low interest rates in a high inflation economy only benefit the irresponsible.
Pension plans are basically fucked.

Speaking of pensions.
I've realised that by the time I reach retirement age the retirement age will probably be close to 70.
This means two things:
1. I've got another forty fucking years of work ahead of me, I'm already tired of it...
2. Given that I've had to have two surgeries this past year and I've lead a far from healthy lifestyle... I'll probably be dead before I collect my first pension slip anyway

Maybe its time to blow all my cash on a hot red sports car and drive about drunk with the top down?

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 9:43 pm #200831

I'd say don't put it all into savings, buy yourself something nice and maybe take the parents out to dinner at a restaurant. But do put some of it away for when you need it

As mentioned above, putting money into savings actually decreases the value thanks to inflation. That doesn't mean you should spend it all immediately, but it does mean that the economy is set up so that only a fool will sit on the money in a savings account

If you want to keep it for later, you need an investment fund that will outperform inflation at the least. And that's pretty hard to get into if you don't have loadsamoney. And it risks losing the money if the investments are shit

Remie Richards · Thu Aug 04, 2016 9:50 pm

Malkevin wrote:I have my money in savings.
Every year it gains a bit of more whilst actually loosing much more.

Low interest rates in a high inflation economy only benefit the irresponsible.
Pension plans are basically fucked.

Speaking of pensions.
I've realised that by the time I reach retirement age the retirement age will probably be close to 70.
This means two things:
1. I've got another forty fucking years of work ahead of me, I'm already tired of it...
2. Given that I've had to have two surgeries this past year and I've lead a far from healthy lifestyle... I'll probably be dead before I collect my first pension slip anyway

Maybe its time to blow all my cash on a hot red sports car and drive about drunk with the top down?

I assume this was written post-knowing about the recent interest rate cuts in the UK.
which is sucky as butts.

Super Aggro Crag · Thu Aug 04, 2016 10:12 pm

I'm sick of people calling me a terf. Its rude and inaccurate.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Aug 04, 2016 10:44 pm #200854

A what now?

ColonicAcid · Fri Aug 05, 2016 12:58 am

OLYMPICS START SOON BOYS

THAT MEANS I GET TO WATCH WEIGHTLIFTING WITH A COUPLE OF SHIT WATERED DOWN KOREAN BEERS. I AM ROOTING FOR LU XIAOJUN TO BREAK THE SNATCH AND TOTAL WORLD RECORD JUST LIKE HE DID LAST OLYMPICS. There's also the sad matter that Ilya Ilyin got banned from doping allegations so no world record in the 105kg or gold medals for Kazakhstan in the 105kg category.

Oh yeah we also get to see this fuckin guy as well:
[youtube]1mxcyByOfIY[/youtube]

Screemonster · Fri Aug 05, 2016 2:16 am

Malkevin wrote:I have my money in savings.
Every year it gains a bit of more whilst actually loosing much more.

Low interest rates in a high inflation economy only benefit the irresponsible.
Pension plans are basically fucked.

This is why I just put extra cash into paying down my mortgage instead of paying extra into savings/pension. I'm never going to earn as much interest on my savings as I'd pay on an equivalent debt, so better to just minimize the latter.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Fri Aug 05, 2016 4:04 am #200952

waiting for frank ocean album to release