ITT: We make shitty suggestions and come up with poor ideas.

Post by **Armhulen** » Tue Jun 07, 2016 7:41 pm #184670

Bottom post of the previous page:

The unloved rock wrote:
Wizardjenkins66 wrote:
Gamarr wrote:Some lavaland/'random' sleepers and-or Shaft Miners get a volleyball with a face upon spawn. Using it is like asking for a pAI, except if the ghost accepts, they can now talk to just the creator of the volleyball, who likewise is the only one who can hear them. No, no pAI functionality. This is purely a talking volleyball idea for the hermits that need them most.
Wrong thread

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:18 pm #184722

I'm tellin you man, full lycra bodysuits in different colors with full hoods.

Gamarr · Post by **Gamarr** » Fri Jun 10, 2016 6:21 pm #185564

Clown/mime masks are applied 'like lipstick.' That is, no moreworn mask, and the clown and mime start with a makeup kit to apply it. Why? It's fucking annoying being unable not to smoke with the masks along with little things like that, when I'm sure we can translate the different masks 'mode expressions' into the make-up kit as an application option.

Further options include:
-Limited uses in the kit
-Mime/clown only ones trained to apply their particular type
-People painted gain no discernible bonus outside of Clown-face person plays sad trombone when dying like the Clown, and Mime-face person... I dunno. Just the silence Vow, but not the wall. It's not meant to be powergamey
-Add as gang-faction for nightmares; clown/mime gang boss includes option for clown/mime gang uniform, including facepaint purchases.

Screemonster · Sun Jun 12, 2016 1:38 am

Make Nar-Sie and Ratvar act as singularity beacons

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Jun 18, 2016 5:16 pm #187831

Here's something I came up with while shitposting in OOC.

Connect toilets to disposals and make them able to flush small or tiny items.
Give lizards the disposals-crawl ability on the block where humans get Hulk.
Now sewer alligators are a reality.

Screemonster · Sat Jun 18, 2016 5:59 pm

Make the floral somatoray give pod-people superpowers

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Jun 18, 2016 6:35 pm #187841

Wrong fucking thread.
This is what plantmemes need in lavaland.

Ezel · Post by **Ezel** » Sat Jun 18, 2016 7:50 pm #187848

Make the singularity play a sad trombone by every gibbed person

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sat Jun 18, 2016 9:52 pm #187867

Screemonster wrote:Make the floral somatoray give pod-people superpowers

It actually does already, just switch it to the mutation setting. Can't shoot yourself though and you can get disabilities in addition to powers from it.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:56 pm #187883

Cardboard boxes should be invisible for security personnel, and they should be able to walk over them even while closed.

Screemonster · Sun Jun 19, 2016 8:44 pm

add balls of string that you can attach to objects and stand down the hallway to yank them away when someone tries to pick them up

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jun 19, 2016 8:45 pm #188091

Make it happen with cable coils.

Screemonster · Sun Jun 19, 2016 9:34 pm

Resting on the ground behind someone should make any disarm against them from the front an automatic success like so

Gamarr · Post by **Gamarr** » Mon Jun 20, 2016 4:18 am #188229

Traitor AIs get a one-time use button that lets them drop their NT-friendly name and assume their supervillain one, which is basically a rename for malf/Traitors when they start flashing the red lights and going loud.

Davidchan · Post by **Davidchan** » Mon Jun 20, 2016 8:06 am #188303

Wrong thread.

"Ha ha you stupid carbons. You thought I was the harmless N.E.M.O. when infact I am the terrible O.M.E.N. Victory is mine!"

Screemonster · Mon Jun 20, 2016 9:14 am

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Mon Jun 20, 2016 9:09 pm #188527

Add a rare structure to lavalands that has like a 5% chance of spawning. Inside are two ash drakes and a colossus. Past the ash drake and the colossus is a room that contains an item. There's a 50/50 chance that it'll just be a bowl of wish soup OR a very special item called a wish stone. Using the wish stone will let you spawn one of any item in the game, and I mean ANY item. It's a one time use so choose wisely.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Jun 20, 2016 9:36 pm #188537

The obvious choice is to spawn the "no one will ever use this" adminspawn-only infinite use version of the wish stone.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue Jun 21, 2016 12:09 am #188592

The Uplift Device!

It is able to increase the mental faculties and dexterity of monkeys on the station to allow them to act as crewmembers!
It would make monkeys playable(and pulling players from the ghost and observer pool) with full manual dexterity to use guns and computers and equipment and such.
Might even be able to make them speak in a limited manner.

And also probably have full simple mob status so they can do whatever or something I dunno.
I did just post this in the bad ideas thread. I guess it could be built by R&D or maybe be a genetics thing or something I dunno. Someone in science is gonna get lynched.

Gamarr · Post by **Gamarr** » Tue Jun 21, 2016 3:15 am #188644

Always felt some of the genetics monkeys should be allowed playable from round start right with job prefs settings. I mean, assistants have to come from somewhere.

Screemonster · Tue Jun 21, 2016 10:08 am

Dumping large quantities of water on a tile should make it spread to neighbouring tiles, mopping only wets the targeted tile

if the puddle reaches a bare cable or shocked machine it should shock everyone standing in it unless they're wearing galoshes (specifically galoshes, not noslips, noslips aren't waterproof)

TheNightingale · Tue Jun 21, 2016 12:58 pm

Screemonster wrote:Dumping large quantities of water on a tile should make it spread to neighbouring tiles, mopping only wets the targeted tile

if the puddle reaches a bare cable or shocked machine it should shock everyone standing in it unless they're wearing galoshes (specifically galoshes, not noslips, noslips aren't waterproof)

Wrong thread.

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Tue Jun 21, 2016 4:07 pm #188734

Adding space lube to shoes lets you go super fast but makes touching anything knock you down.

Screemonster · Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:02 pm

the iMag

it's exactly the same as an emag but it has a thinner, lighter sprite and costs twice as many telecrystals

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:18 pm #188768

FUCKING IFAGS WHEN MY EMAG BREAKS I CAN ACTUALLY FIX IT MYSELF NOT TO MENTION UPLOAD MY OWN HACKING PROGRAMS AND SHIT ONLY CASUALS USE THE IMAG

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:29 pm #188773

Emagging an emag should cause it to explode with the force of a minibomb on tile and gib the user.

Screemonster · Tue Jun 21, 2016 5:36 pm

Anonmare wrote:Emagging an emag should cause it to explode with the force of a minibomb on tile and gib the user.

make it explode the next time it's used and put this in another thread 'cause I would totally leave an explosive emag in the halls as bait for assistants

Gun Hog · Post by **Gun Hog** » Tue Jun 21, 2016 7:59 pm #188817

The DEATHSQUAD CYBORG!

Module contents:
- Pulse Rifle (Standard, three settings)
- Energy Sword
- Flash (Standard on all borgs)
- Medical Beamgun (For healing the human squaddies)
- "Combat" Cyborg RCD (More power efficient than standard borg RCD)
- Zipties
- Hailer
- Cyborg welding tool (Repairing itself or other borgs)
- Cyborg Crowbar (Opening depowered things)

Borg properties
- Immune to EMP and flash, DS borgs are intended to fight the toughest of admin spawned abominations, they should not have any 1-hit-GG weaknesses.
- 25K power cell
- Pre-installed Self-Repair module (even though it hardly makes a difference)
- Deathsquad Lawset (Same as human squaddies: obey orders from the spawning admin, possible line mentioning Ian)
- Integrated thermals, like the human squaddies.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Jun 21, 2016 8:04 pm #188821

So kinda like Bay's combat borgs, except it doesn't have droideka mode or a shield.

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:13 am #188859

Borg modules replaced with tool sets and general tools, the robo can install up to X amount (Have it scale with a matter bin maybe), so you place a full toolbox on them to give them a tool set, install a chem dispenser board to give them internal chem options, etc. Emagging borgs would just unlock them for installing traitor items rather than giving them entirely new ones, installing certain items needs a certain level of access, an RPD needs an engineer to swipe the borg, a stunbaton or laser needs HOS or captain ID to install. Assistant ID to install tablecrafted stuff. The borg needs upgrades as well, better matter bins means more material made (for metal sheetd/wire) and more toolsto be added, better capacitors mean more effecient power use, better manips mean faster use with tools/more options with tools/robo hands.

Borgs can be pimped out with material mods, gold makes them shiny as fuck, diamond reflects laser fire, glass makes them easily beaten but immune to non kinetics, plasma makes them more power effecient, uranium makes thm radioactive/have more health, plasteel makes them slower but lets them mount mech gear/ machines.

Borg machines: Re-enforcing with plasteel lets a robo mount special machines into borgs, for example a mobile ORM, or a cloning borg that can copy info from the cloning scanner then carry the person being cloned in a back mounted cloning pod, a cryo borg that can scoop up people into back mounted cryo pods for healing, brig mounted borgs can put people in cages.

Get rid of borg modules and make them entirely modular starting with no tools at all, and if the robo doesn't have it on hand it doesn't get installed. Crayonsshould be able to recolour borgs, using Ians skin should make them into T-800 Ian.

Reimoo · Post by **Reimoo** » Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:37 pm #189108

Give the chef no slips because real fast food workers wear no slips

Ezel · Post by **Ezel** » Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:53 pm #189119

Every time you honk with your bike horn a banana should spawn somewhere on the station
----------
Make the chaplains unholy pitchfork turn meat into steak when butchering animals
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Gun Hog · Post by **Gun Hog** » Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:08 am #189155

Briefcase turrets! As seen in Payday 2 and 007's Phoenix Ronin (the item), these are portable area denial tools which are a wonderful source of !!FUN!!. Our current "porta turrets" are actually permanent installations. Why not have a hand-portable one which can take nearly any gun? If you add a projectile weapon, you must supply the turret with ammo as well. If you insert an energy weapon, it will draw charge from its power cell. If the weapon used has a firing mode (semi, burst - stun, kill), it can be controlled via the turret's alt-click option or interface.

The user can deploy the turret on any non-space/lattice/catwalk tile. Once deployed, the turret will be all-access until restricted by the user. This includes silicons unless the wireless mode is disabled.

Possible firing configuations:
- Security: Fires on wanted people.
- ID: Fires on everyone not having your name (works the same way mouseover does).
- AI: Fires on anything not of the "silicon" faction.
- Emagged: Fires on ANY LIVING MOB, including silicons and the original user. (Small delay to let the emagger escape)
- Manual: Click-override that causes the turret to continually fire at anything clicked. Ends only if turret runs out of ammo/charge, target is no longer in LoS, or cancelled.
- pAI: Inserting a pAI into the turret (must be unlocked) will give the it control of the turret until ejected. The ultimate option for fine turret control!

One can be spawned in the armory, empty, for immediate customization and deployment by Sec. Additional units can be ordered by Cargo.

TheNightingale · Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:15 am

Wrong thread, I never knew we needed those so much.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:02 pm #189240

Those things should obviously stand out, make them highly obvious metal cases with the corporate logo on.

Disguised briefcase turret frames for the Syndicate uplink are the logical conclusion.
Put 'em in for 7 TC to complement the revolver's 13. You get no more telecrystals and still only have seven shots, but now your murderboner is a halfway-inconspicuous portable item.

jaxy15 · Post by **jaxy15** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 8:38 pm #189793

Supermatter spears, created by clicking supermatter shards with wired rods.
Works like a one-use supermatter sword.

Cheridan · Post by **Cheridan** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:14 pm #189803

replace lizardmen with pepes aka sadfrogs they mope around the station being awkward and antisocial

it fixes the problem of lizardmen ERP because pepes have no gf canonally

pepes are similar to mimes in that they have some special powers. these powers are called meme magic of a number of pepes group up their collective consciousness can alter their surroundings

confused rock · Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:19 pm

Cheridan wrote:replace lizardmen with pepes aka sadfrogs they mope around the station being awkward and antisocial

it fixes the problem of lizardmen ERP because pepes have no gf canonally

pepes are similar to mimes in that they have some special powers. these powers are called meme magic of a number of pepes group up their collective consciousness can alter their surroundings

yes

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:35 pm #189825

When near members of the opposite gender spaghetti fall from their pockets and fanny packs

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 8:50 am #190197

Steal Goon's urine. Eating or drinking something with piss in it gives you a message saying "this tastes funny". Cry when a traitor chef kills you by force feeding you a shit ton of poisoned piss covered burgers and then makes you into more poisoned piss covered burgers. Murder the shit out of Golden Showers the clown as the janitor for drinking every fucking soda in the vending machines and pissing all over the god damned station. Slip the janitor as the clown when he tries to murder you and throw beakers and drinking glasses full of piss at him while playing the sad trombone on your PDA.

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 8:52 am #190199

Since when has Goon had piss?

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 8:57 am #190200

Zilenan91 wrote:Since when has Goon had piss?

http://wiki.ss13.co/Chemistry#Miscellanea

N/A. Fill your stomach with water, then use the *piss emote or pee in a drinking glass.

5+ UNITS: Temporarily creates slippery puddles of urine when applied to floor tiles.

Don't forget, this is the server where you used to be able to shit everywhere we're talking about here.

Ezel · Post by **Ezel** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:18 am #190219

Bring back poo

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:27 am #190220

incredible

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:50 am #190222

Ezel wrote:Bring back poo

God damn, those days back on Donut Station when poo was still around. After roughly 5-10 minutes in the bar was guaranteed to be a horror show of broken glass, puke, blood, shit, and piss with assistants running around throwing turds at everyone and drinking space wind so they'd get diarrhea and shit themselves. People using the bartender's russian revolver to blow their brains out. It was less of a research station and more of a criminal asylum in space.

And it was hilarious

Reece · Post by **Reece** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 12:29 pm #190234

Bring back poo and let you graffiti with it. Make a new antag cult serving 'Lord pestilence' which makes runes in shit.

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sun Jun 26, 2016 12:53 pm #190240

Take the poo to the loo SHITcurity

Screemonster · Sun Jun 26, 2016 1:37 pm

one of my favourite "pubbie tears" stories from goon was the time admins responded to a whinging captain's ahelps by making someone a traitor with the objective "make the captain piss himself then slip him in his own piss"

and he succeeded

Gamarr · Post by **Gamarr** » Tue Jun 28, 2016 3:39 am #190763

Remove lavaland-side shuttle-consoles. They are bad etiquette and a security risk! QM or CTs can use the outpost camera network/shuttle console and support their allies to bring them up, but it will build dept. cohesion! Forcefully, if need be.

Second idea: Bluespace anomalies now instead send the area to lavaland, like the Vet ruin circumstances.

Gun Hog · Post by **Gun Hog** » Thu Jun 30, 2016 1:39 am #191445

Make the clown bomb

reserachable!

Requiring a bit of high weapons and illegal tech, along with some Bananium, you can produce the

clown bomb payload!!

Shove that horrible monstrosity into a bomb casing (which you can currently make for other applications), and you have yourself one of the deadliest weapons ever deployed by clown kind!

MrEousTranger · Thu Jun 30, 2016 3:24 am

Replace liggers with predators

Downsides
> 2 tall to hide behind shit
> can't fit in lockers
> green blood
> must speak with lots . of . spaces . in . between . or . no . one . can . understand . you.
> w/o mask your ugly as fuck
> racism
> mask isn't space worthy but can use internals

Upsides
> badass with mask on
> gets rid of those disgusting ass fucking butt ugly goddamn Liggers
> Will make SemenFiren very angry