Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

[InsaneHyena]

Bottom post of the previous page:

Same round, another story.

> Be scientist.
> Do RnD, because I'm that austistic.
> Hear reports of slaughter demon eating people
> Decide to shove chem dispenser board to experimentor to see what will happen
> SHADOWLING
> Glared, cuffed, converted.
> Decide to subvert the AI and build a cyborg army.
> Before I leave the experimentor room, slaughter demon appears.
> Try to glare at him.
> You can only glare at humans.
> He kills me.
> Fuck.

[Saegrimr]

>Feel like playing AI
>Traitor! Kill two dudes with no borgs
>Finally get a borg, he's very new so wont be any help.
>Idiot lizard bought a syndie key and tested to see if anybody was listening. Now I can't tell my borg how to tator.
>Get everybody to manhunt for him while I hack APCs
>Earn security's and the captain's trust after I get my borg to space the lizard
>Only a couple more hacks to go before I launch the nuke
>Scientist stumbles upon one of my APCs
>Cut comms, power, bolt everything.
>Get cocky and decide to release Tesla
>It teleports onto my core and kills me.

（´・ω・｀）

>HoS cards me anyway like 10 minutes later, counts as alive
>G R E E N

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be me
>Xenobiologist god
>Science is full of a bunch of big name players
>Offer to impart my wisdom to anyone who wants it
>"Lol xenobio is gay"
>NIGGA YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CHOO SAYING SO YOU BEST WATCH YOURSELF
>Do my thing
>Get good slimes, golds and light pinks included
>Time to sentient some creatures
>Tell the other scientists to stay out of misc
>Pop three cores and run out of the room
>As soon as the flash wears off see the doors lock behind me
>Bolted
>AI is fucking with my funky flow, tell them to unbolt
>No response
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFINE
>Talk to the RD
>They say to just break in, fuck the AI
>Do just that
>AI summons shitcurity and literally like eight other people in half a second
>Wow slow round huh
>The RD and me tell them to fuck off
>Everyone leaves except for one shitcurity officer trying to tell me how to do my job
>Tell him to fuck off and finish breaking in
>REEEEEEE BROKEN WINDOW
>Arrests and strips me
>"GOLD EXTRACTS HUH"
>I'm about to have an aneurysm
>Throws me in the brig for two minutes
>Call the RD and tell them to secure my stuff
>Get released
>Get my stuff back and go to misc
>The several creatures have excaped thanks to our great AI and security team's sabotage
>They're all spiders, and one chaos carp
>Well I'll just have fun with them I guess
>Sentient all of them
>They're all cool
>Tell them to go be helpful
>Go back to xenobio
>Everything's a mess from my absence
>A green spider asks for some monkeys
>Oh you wanna spidertide, sure
>Give him four and work with the slimes a bit
>There's already like a million spiderlings
>Jesus this is going to spiral out of control fast isn't it
>It starts with one spider breaking a window to the slime pen
>Yell at him to stop and fix it
>He breaks it again
>Punch him and tell him to fuck off
>Return to my work
>In like two more seconds like five spiders have broken out the slimes
>Dear god, it's starting
>A spider bites me
>Tell him I'm his GOD and he can't harm me
>He kills me
>Well that's the end of that
>Enter one of the billion spiders
>Viva la spider tide
>Only not
>Find the captain
>He tells the crew that spiders are people too
>Yeah a bit late
>Basically everyone has joined the spidertide
>It's horrifying
>Go to escape because the shuttle's been called
>Captain got murdered by a rogue spider
>The shuttle is literally all spiders except three people
>Two get killed by rogue spiders
>The last one is fighting for his life
>The good spiders have killed the spiders killing the humans
>Suddenly centcomm sprays insecticide on the shuttle
>The spiders all die and explode
>The miner is the sole survivor of a...
>Cult round?
>Huh
>Rip

[PKPenguin321]

>The miner is the sole survivor of a...
>Cult round?
>Huh
>Rip

i was the miner
spiders were less lethal than they were annoying as fuck, every bite put you to sleep for like 45 seconds
i killed like maybe 6 of them in addition to the nar'sie shell, 2 juggernauts, and an artificer
also by the time the shuttle docked, there were more spiders despite cetncomm's intervention, because there were so many spiderlings and eggs that more were born between the ten seconds of the spider genocide and the shuttle docking
pretty hectic round

[ShadowDimentio]

It's funny, for nearly all round it was dead calm, signified by when the AI shrieked about me trying to break in misc like ten people showed up. Then the cult showed up, and shortly thereafter the spidertide hit. Like it jumped from "Everything is okay" to "OH GOD WE NEED TO LEAVE" in a matter of minutes.

[One Seven One]

>Be Assistant
>Well time to f-
>TRAITOR: Kill some scientist
>Wew
>Buy a Ranged Holoparasite, an emag, and some healing cigarettes.
>While I wait for the holoparasite to boot up I hear Lola's rampage right outside the door I'm hiding in
>Thallium Lilac boots up
>Let's not waste time
>Oh wait it's Dreamstation, where the fuck is anything on this map?
>Fuck around and steal a Atmos Tech's ID from one of Lola's victims
>Fuck around in science maint looking for the best place emag in
>Two doors open, on one side is my target!
>We're ready
>We emag in and Thallium peppers him with crystals
>I light up a healing smoke and we stash the body in a locker and plan what to do next
>Not wanting to bore my new Parasitic buddy so early we decide to follow in Lola's footsteps
>Thallium notices the comms and points out that someone gave a clear description of me, no name though
>Time to don a diguise
>Decide to use the Atmos Tech's ID to steal the suit
>Oh wait it's Dreamstation, where the fuck is anything on this map?
>We eventually find Atmosia using Thallium's searching capability
>Suit is gone
>I don't know what I expected.
>I grab an Atmos Uniform and firesuit to atleast make a disguise
>Someone is breaking windows nearby
>It's the guy who took the suit and the fireaxe
>Hmmm, I wonder if it's a traitor or some prick
>Tell Thallium to spawn and try and get him when Fastmos knocks him out the window
>He spouts all of the code words
>Ohshitdon'tspawn
>Thallium Spawns right but doesn't attack, Wew
>Chief Engineer walks in
>Shit
>Thallium begins attacking the CE and I give chase
>Walk out in to the hall right in to the Warden and an engieborg
>SHIT
>CE eventually falls down and I attempt to drag them in the Atmos
>Engieborg charges in with the Warden behind 'em
>Borg grabs the CE body and runs out
>Me, Warden, and Thallium run out in to the hall
>Thallium peppers the Warden as I try to stay away from his Baton
>He falls, I steal his baton, and pull his corpse in to maint
>Bleeding and in pain, the healing cig just now decided to go out after fixing most of me. Why does no one use these more?
>Patch myself up and disguise as the Warden
>Stash the Warden's corpse and all of the Atmos gear
>Dam, we're on a roll
>Put on a gasmask that we found
>Me and Thallium agree that without a security gasmask, I'm suspicious as fuck
>Thallium also mentions I should grab a loyalty implant while I'm there
>Onwards to sec!
>Oh wait it's Dreamstation, where the fuck is anything on this map?
>Eventually find security by following the signs
>Waltz on in like we own the place, wondering if this is going to be my downfall
>Walk up behind the desk with two officers trying to take care of some shit
>Walk in to the armory and implant myself, take the mask, steal a few tasers, a few lasers, and the two boxes of Tear Gas and Flashbangs
>Someone is trying to break out of their cell by bashing the window
>Does no one know how to strip around here?
>Fuck it, time to be the Law around here
>He hides in the cell locker
>I walk around the corner then pop back around
>Fucker is at it again
>We continue this until his time is up, he walks out and I laser him to crit
>Stash his body in the sec clothes locker
>Nothingtoseehere
>Walk back in to the armory and admire piles of junk strewn about
>Begin thinking of ways to abuse my power
>Oh I know, let's alter the records!
>Thallium says it's a bit late, but getting rid of my arrest warrant could be great
>I open the computer up "Allen Guess - Status: None"
>You fucking what
>The door I emagged with no gloves
>The clear description
>The blood leading to various lockers of stashed bodies and not a dam one of you thought to update security?
>Sweet
>Even though Lola is dead, I alter their status to none and give them a note: "A Hero"
>Someone comes on by and drops off Throwing stars, I wordlessly take them and begin charging guns
>Nothingtoseehere
>Shuttle is called. Time to make my way to the shuttle because taking a pod is admitting defeat.
>Brilliant idea
>Let's break out the perma prisoners
>Two poor saps being harassed by the AI
>Calmly open the door and free them both
>Walks right outside past two officers with two criminals in tow, one in an orange jumpsuit and the other in a Clown suit
>One officer is tailing behind us, fuck this one is smart
>They see the orange jumpsuited on up ahead and tasers 'em
>As they begin cuffing I taser back and cuff them
>Drag them in to maint with the orange jumpsuit behind me
>Strip them and let the prisoner take their shit
>Officer can't believe this
>"Alright, take care of 'em"
>Thallium pops out and peppers the officer
>Oh wait shuttle, how much time is left?
>Like fifty seconds
>OH SHIT
>Time to get to escape
>Oh wait
>It's Dreamstation
>WHERE THE FUCK IS ESCAPE ON THIS MAP?
>Thallium tells me to head left
>Thank you Thallium
>Make it to the shuttle with 10-20 seconds to spare
>Buckle up and prepare to enjoy the ride
>Someone lubes the shuttle
>I put on internals
>I begin tossing out Flashbangs and Tear gas.
>Today was a good day.

I had fun being the Warden the station deserved.

[srifenbyxp]

>Be Tator Sci Guy
>Make sure nobody leaves the station
>The plot thickens
>Max research
>Make a mech
>Make AI upload
>Subvert AI, tell him to kill everybody but me, make sure nobody leaves
>I see plasma, quickly get a fire suit
>Through a never ending plasma inferno, proceed the kill the entire crew with a sidekick engiborg
>Get out of mech to get an air tank
>AMBUSH
>Crit
>Borg heals me
>Take a few moments running through plasma fires with no oxygen tank
>Get a tank
>Get back in da fugn mech!
>Miner and some other nerd got on the shuttle
>Nope.ogg
>Stomped asses and time to go back to my kingdom
>Shuttle leavesbut I'm still on it
>Jump out of shuttle and land on mining
>Say, " I can hear it... the salt"
>Red text

I must say I had a blast, there was another instance that this happened but I went solo in a mech on mech fight. I won in the end but turned into a zombie somewhere along the lines.

[Thunder11]

>Doctor
>Do doctor things
>Deal with shitters
>Another doctor starts screaming on med radio about cultists
>Eventually manage to talk him into giving his location, arrivals maint
>They're probably in maint surgery
>Scream for security and charge
>It's HoG
>Grab a dropped claymore and cut down two cultists
>Defense pylon pops up, get critted
>Saved by CMO
>Pylon is gone by now, charge back in and kill the blue god
>Go back to doctor things
>Engineer yells about finding the red base
>Charge in with my glorious claymore
>Tank another pylon with burn patches while smashing the nexus
>Both gods dead
>Red prophet JC Denton starts going on a murderboner
>Grab a dropped egun and hunt him down
>Catch up to him in dorms maint, but he gives us the slip
>Find him again in EVA maint, disable and sword to death
>Give JC's hat to the CMO as a gift
>Shuttle called by this point, make myself a chair in escape
>Crit a few more shitters doing shitty things
>Manage to escape alive
>I am the true winner of the round
Final kill tally:
2 gods
1 prophet
2 cultists
Unknown number of shitters

[Super Aggro Crag]

>be security
>constructs running around
>construct in engineering being a shit
>he's a juggernaut
>apparently they reflect laser shots
>laser shot bounces off of him and into the collector next to me
>collectors explode, knocking me unconscious and setting me on fire
>die

hahaha that was a funny way to die

[The Ultimate Chimera]

One day it was gang and a gang person came in with an uzi, so I pushed them down and killed them with their own uzi, and died not too long after to blood loss and to top it off, another round a RD traitor comes into the pod with me and beats me with their baton and feeds me poison, but I finally push them, unbuckle them from their chair and beat them to death with their own baton all the way to centcom. GG.

[Helios]

>Doctor
>Do doctor things
>Deal with shitters
>Another doctor starts screaming on med radio about cultists
>Eventually manage to talk him into giving his location, arrivals maint
>They're probably in maint surgery
>Scream for security and charge
>It's HoG
>Grab a dropped claymore and cut down two cultists
>Defense pylon pops up, get critted
>Saved by CMO
>Pylon is gone by now, charge back in and kill the blue god
>Go back to doctor things
>Engineer yells about finding the red base
>Charge in with my glorious claymore
>Tank another pylon with burn patches while smashing the nexus
>Both gods dead
>Red prophet JC Denton starts going on a murderboner
>Grab a dropped egun and hunt him down
>Catch up to him in dorms maint, but he gives us the slip
>Find him again in EVA maint, disable and sword to death
>Give JC's hat to the CMO as a gift
>Shuttle called by this point, make myself a chair in escape
>Crit a few more shitters doing shitty things
>Manage to escape alive
>I am the true winner of the round
Final kill tally:
2 gods
1 prophet
2 cultists
Unknown number of shitters

That wasn't JC. Just someone with my ID. I remember that round. Doesn't matter but I have an ego thing where I look up my name on the forums once a week

[Zilenan91]

>be on that 40k server
>it's on a modified metastation
>be Guardsman
>ask the Sergeant (warden) for a laspistol
>"k"
>Us and another guardsman go into the armory and pocket laspistols
>SUDDENLY THE WALL EXPLODES
>PEW PEW PEW A TRAITOR GUARD CHIMERA STARTS BLASTING EVERYONE
>[145.9] "CULTISTS IN THE ARMORY!"
>everyone else is now dead
>run to the left side of the armory and pick up the missile launcher
>The second I see the Chimera I shoot a rocket at it and blows it and the flooring up
>2 slightly banged up traitor guard pop out and shoot me to death with machine pistols
>ghost around, see the commissar (HoS), the Lord General (Captain but not really) and a Guardsman (sec officer but not really) letting themselves into the armory
>In the time it took them to get there the traitor Guard had sacrificed our dead bodies to the Chaos Gods and summoned several Khorne Berserkers
>LG reks the CSMs with his wrist-mounted plasma cannon
>Commissar BLAMs the Guardsman for looting the heretics, kills one of the Traitor Guardsman, and the last traitor guard gets away
>Round goes on for a while with other heretics and said traitor guard who weren't in the armory assault summoning Khorne Berserkers who go around killing everyone
>eventually Orks drop down and start doing Ork shit like throwing retarded amounts of stikkbombz and shoota bullets at everything
>nids start eating people
>Admins summon down some Sisters of Battle
>they start burning all the heretics and nids and Orks and shit
>eventually some Krieg Guardsmen drop in from a pod near the armory
>All the heretics get killed, the shuttle lands, and everyone left gets on it
>All of the krieg and half of the Sisters of Battle died, and 1 or 2 Imperial Guardsmen on the shuttle are all that are left
>There's still some Orks outside who take potshots at the shuttle, killing off the remaining Guardsmen while screaming WAAAGH at the top of their lungs
>shuttle leaves and the round ends

Got another one from Archangel
>be Guardsman again
>everything seems normal
>suddenly cultists fucking everywhere
>Commissar takes us all into the meeting room
>"BURN 'EM! BURN 'EM ALL IN A GREAT BIG FIRE"
>"BURN 'EM FUCK YEAH!"
>We go out and start responding to shit over the common and sec channel
>a really robust guardsman manages to kill the shit out of two cultists in engineering maint
>takes them to the chapel and the LG has to let us in to incinerate their corpses
>pub around for a minute, patrol the outskirts of the station and shoot some strange necron structures in the snow
>people are screaming over comms about how x, y, and z are cultists
>get the accused and the accusers into a room
>the guard kill every single one of them and burn the bodies
>suffer not the heretic to live
>eventually Orks drop down and start doing ork shit that consists of getting lots of loot and lots of Orks start spawning in
>Guard recruit a few civilians, give them lasguns, armor, and tell them to walk in front of us so they eat the bullets before we do
>Orks start going into the hallways near the bar but we had welded some doors and were shooting through them with out lasguns
>Orks can't shoot through the doors and take a bit to figure that out while we kill one or two
>a second alter they throw a bag full of stickbombz and kill about 2 conscripts and crit the Sergeant
>we keep shooting, dragging our dead sergeant to escape (the shuttle had been called) and firing SO MANY LASGUN SHOTS (did I mention that they have 150 fucking ammo in the clip because that's so helpful)
>we lose 3 more people to shoota shots on the way there
>bunker down and keep up a constant source of fire due to the retarded amounts of ammo the Commissar had brought from the armory
>suddenly a venomthrope
>the venomthrope starts spewing out stupid amounts of acid gas that basically instantly kill all of us
>I barely get away before it can spam me out and go to medbay
>literally one living person there
>it's a doctor who's braindead fuck my life
>Shoot at a few Orks who pass by the lobby with them not able to do much to stop me
>eventually the nids move in and kill a bunch more Orks, I see a ton of hormagaunts and Orks get slaughtered between the medbay and science lobbies
>space marines drop down and start blasting fools, they manage to clear out a bunch of Orks and the tyranid flow has slowed down
>they call the shuttle
>we manage to secure escape again but all that's left of dead Guard are blood trails pulled out into the snow by the nids
>go back to medbay for some medical supplies, when an Ork Kommando unstealths near me
>somehow misses me with his shotgun and I barely managed to knife him to death with the bayonet on my lasgun
>have like 2 hp
>slowly drag the corpse to escape while music starts playing and my screen shakes from the impact of more Ork ships landing on the station
>actually so fucking tense right now
>the Salamander Space Marines start spewing flamethrowers down the hallways as more nids and Orks keep murdering the fuck out of each other
>shuttle gets here, and we lose control of the situation as we get on it
>I die near immediately to a zoanthrope throwing me into a wall
>super totally balanced venomthrope melts all the shit off of one of the Salamanders and kills him near instantly
>the last one is in the brig, can't be touched because he's sealed in
>for the entire ride to whatever the centcom equivalent is on this server the venomthrope keeps up a literally constant cloud of acid smoke that kills any Orks and other nids who try to get on the shuttle
>round ends
>all cultists incinerated, not a one didn't have their body destroyed
>the only greentext I need is the Emperor's thanks

If it was confusing why there were that many enemies on a 30 pop server, they have this feature called RTD where you can basically respawn as something else after you die. Everyone starts off being able to RTD as a Krieg Guardsman who are undersupplied and are really unfun to play as on their own ship where they can drop down onto their derelict equivalent, raid a necron tomb, and get fucked by RnG map generation not letting them go further, or ask admins to open up the good lower pod which plops them near the station. Everything else runs off a whitelist system where people can spawn in as Orks, Eldar, Tau, Tyranids, space marines, that sort of thing, because of how lethal the server is so rounds aren't 8 hours because everything died.

[InsaneHyena]

> An incredibly frustrating round (for me) ends. The next station is Dream.
> NOBODY wants dream.
> Dreamstation sucks.
> OOC is demanding the good map - box.
> I can settle for birdboat too.
> I have a dream! And it's not DreamStation!
> Round starts.
> GIVE ME BOX OR GIVE ME DEATH
> Suicide
> After a minute, server crashes.
> Server recovers from the crash.
> Current map is: BoxStation.
> And thus, the forces of good have won again.

[Qbopper]

>join 40 some mins in
>holy fucking shit zombies and spiders everywhere
>pick up a pAI as I run through a hall
>doorjacks us into maint above the chapel
>try and equip myself as best I can
>suddenly a xeno
>xeno MAID



>polishing my spear
>polishing my spear
>polishing my spear

[Cheimon]

>gang
>ganger
>spot mime in library, he's wetting floors
>confidently switch to walk and slip over it
>mime is injecting me with a monkey syringe
>oh fuck no
>become monkey, immediately start biting
>mime bats at me with my retracted switchblade
>gangfriends show up
>grab the blade, cut him with it
>cut him real good
>guard science a bit with my knife
>eventually we dom
>hos shows up
>janitor throws some soap
>hos slips on it
>cut him
>cut him real good
>that's what you get for ignoring the smoking monkey
>i dance on his corpse and wear his hat
>monkeys 2
>humans 0
>gang victory

[PKPenguin321]

>traitor round, box station
>im a random assistant, not a traitor
>fucking around, at some point go by genetics because i have hella brain damage and want to steal mannitol
>golem approaches me
>"i wish to be a human"
>tries using my DNA to make itself a human, but i know that the only consistent way of changing mutantrace is brain transplant
>offer to do surgery on it and help it
>it obliges, we create a monkey man and i put it's genes into it
>turns out the golem is a girl with pink hair and ping lingerie
>gonnagetlaid.jpg
>not really because ERP is for degenerates but still
>cutting out both their brains
>halfway through the second brain removal, a zombie walks into the observing area
>jesus fuck there are zombies
>hear on radio that most of the crew is zombies
>zombie in viewing area must not notice me or something because it leaves without attacking me
>hurriedly finish up the surgery and defib the now-human golem
>she thanks me and i tell her to lay low as there are zombies
>sneak her into a sleeper, all seems to be going well
>suddenly a zombie walks up from somewhere around genetics
>run from the sleeper hoping the zombie doesn't notice that the sleeper has somebody in it
>it chases me, and i take two hits, putting me with 40 brute damage
>however, i scare it off with my welder, after bringing it to very low health
>head back to the sleepers, golem girl is gone and the sleeper is gone
>internally panicking, i break into the medbay storage area and grab a medkit
>just then, a zombie approaches
>she's wearing pink lingerie
>Adamantine Golem (876) exclaims, "BRAINS!"
>quickly jump into a disposal bin and flush myself at the last second
>get out at cargo
>discover my medkit is empty
>just then some zombies walk by outside and start bashing on the windows
>hack into cargo and shut the doors behind me, rush into arrivals maint from there
>at arrivals I meet a new arrival, I think his name is Jack or something
>i tell him the situation and we decide to hold out in arrivals maint surgery for a bit
>in there, he heals me up with the sleeper
>we decide after a while that not much will come from this and part ways
>grab a bunch of floor tiles for zombie killin' and a glass shard for zombie butcherin'
>in the halls, i meet up with Mekhi, who has laser eyes and shit, and the HoP, who are killing some serious zombie ass
>help them butcher some zombie dudes, they head out to clear the escape area so the shuttle will be safe
>part ways, i head to medbay
>some zombie cuck runs up to me, floor tile him to death and gib him with glass shard
>in post-apocalyptic medbay, approach genetics
>second zombie cuck is in there, finishes eating a monkey while i hold still, hoping it doesnt notice me
>it rushes me, but proves no match for my legendary floor tiling ability
>find the HoS's hat and shit, guess that means he's a zombie now. wear hit beret to look cool
>hack out of genetics and head to escape via maint, the shuttle is there
>mekhi and the gang is there too and we're holding off the shuttle in a final stand
>mekhi is baffled as to how i survived so long
>he doesnt know about my floortile-fu
>final wave of zombros approaches
>not a lot of space in the shuttle
>hide in medbay sleeper
>suddenly sleeper is destroyed by a zombie
>flashbacks to lingerie-wearing golem and her destroyed sleeper
>become a zombie
>try and fail to attack mekhi, but i get some damage off on some of the remaining humans
>shuttle launches, i'm butchered and gibbed

bonus part of this story:
>be watching as a ghost
>mekhi's chilling with the gang
>suddenly one of the humans pops a holoparasite
>TRAITOR!
>holoparasite is chaos
>teleports mekhi and i think the RD off
>they die
>some botanist and other rando finishes off the traitor
>deadchat and ooc loses it's shit as the round ends

quality round, quality zombie apocalypse, quality human survivors. 10/10 A+

[Gun Hog]

I was the RD for that round, PKP! I had subverted the AI along with Uriel the Engie, who wanted my armor (I loaded him out with a suppressed SMG and adrenal implant that Mekhi himself helped me get the tech to make!). Uriel managed to kill Mekhi (despite all his crazy away mission junk), but his Holo teleported me off, my BoH decided to amplify it, resulting in a guaranteed spacing. I survived due to my hardsuit, but I still redtexted even though Mekhi was killed and I easily secured the nuke core with the AI's help.

I had to fight off so many dang zombies to get to that vault. I KNEW that my Xenobiologist was mass breeding gold slimes (I provided upgrades to make SURE it would happen), so I kept a mini-arsenal in my BoH just in case. I was not expecting ZOMBIES, though. I really should have stolen a medal to give to that guy for such outstanding chaos.

I wanted to try out PKP's cleanbot changes, so I told the AI to hack all the cleanbots (including my pAI cleanbot). I do not know if the cleanbots got any kills, though. I saw that my own pAI cleanbot (Sparky) got a little dinged up though.

[Venticular]

Ayyyy, I was the holoparasite that round. I died and got gibbed as a zombie. It was my first time as a holo.

It was fucking hilarious when I teleported Mekhi off.

[Shadowlight213]

>be miner
>ask robotics for a Ripley
>they want me to get them minerals first
>go mine, get some minerals.
>drop off minerals in the ORM and see an atmos tech standing in front of it
>worried that he'll try to steal my ID, but he doesnt
>ok, whatever
>come back to robotics and see a half finished ripley
>apparently no one did RND so they don't have circuitboards
>while on my way back, see a cigar on the ground in front of medbay
>sweet. At least I got something nice out of this trip
>go to a vending machine and grab a lighter
>light the cig-BOOOOM!!
>jumpsuit and hardsuit blown the fuck up.
>laughing so fucking hard at my death
>get dragged to medbay, but dont get cloned as medbay gets fucked up the ass by tuberculosis.
>see the ripley finally get made and sit in mining empty

So it turns out the atmos tech was a traitor and had used me putting my ID in the ORM to nab some plasma. He then dipped the cigars in liquid plasma and handed them out.
I actually got lucky. Apparently the captain tried one and got straight up gibbed!

[ShadowDimentio]

>Chappy on Effstation
>Traitor
>Pick up my shard
>"I know what to do"
>Ask to trade for a shell
>They fucking do it
>Shard some suicided lawyer and arty him
>Lock him in my back room with orders to shit out shells and shards
>Wait around for an opportunity
>Clown and greyshirt are fighting
>MY TIME IS NOW
>Jump in and kill the clown and shard him
>Greyshirt is grateful, and I now have a really good stun via the clown PDA
>Wraith the clown
>Tell him to rampage and kill the AI
>Kill two more guys with the PDA and my god hand
>Oh and medbay exploded but whatever
>Make another wraith and jugg
>Tell the arty it's time
>Let hell loose
>The arty and jugg smash into sec just on the other side of the hall
>I get locked out and have to break through some windows
>Jugg died killing the HoS but the arty is still alive
>Shard and jugg the HoS and loot his shit
>Bunch more murders after that and the shuttle is called by someone
>Relax at escape with my like fifteen constructs running around cucking anyone they see
>Escape alone
>Centcomm is crawling with syndiedrones when I arrive
>People are rustled that I got to trade for a shell and that it was too good
>Literally cucked

Good round.

[TheNightingale]

> You are the Detective!
> The Lawyer has all-access. Okay.
> You hear reports of Operatives, and rush to the Captain's Office, taking a laser gun and taser with you.
> ":s The one in black has the disk!"
> You run into the Captain's Office using the all-access ID, then shoot the one in black before they can respond.
> Their buddy, with the energy shield and M90, opens fire, but you hide behind a console and laser the one in black to critical.
> You double-tap the energy shield operative, then disable them, then laser them some more.
> Two officers and the HoP are down, so you drag them out and heal them.
> There's another, in the Captain's Quarters! You slam another speedloader in, run in, and gun them down.
> They're still alive, and they quickly plant a bomb and--
> BOOM!
> They detonate their macrobomb implant, and the Syndicate bomb, killing you.
> The bomb also kills another operative, and stuns another, letting the healed Officer kill them.
> You are awarded a posthumous medal by the admins.

Three operatives in direct combat, which caused the deaths of two more. Nice.

[ClumsyAlcoholic]

NO REGRETS

[PKPenguin321]

>wizard
>im a wizard
>wizaaaaaaard
>get blink, mm, jaunt, instant summons, staff of chaos, summon magic (for the extra point), buy an apprentice of destruction
>bind instant summons to the staff of chaos
>apprentice isn't moving at all so i ahelp and she wakes up
>tell her to go attack the medbay or something, teleport into virology
>blatantly forget that my apprentice will be attacking medbay
>step into medbay and fire my staff maybe 3 times
>get hit by a fireball, ignite, KOed
>die
>apprentice tries and fails to save me
>we get looted, hidden in a locker by the cloning thing in genetics
>bittersweet laughter because that was the funniest death ever but also i'm never going to get wizard again
>i was alive for maybe 3 seconds after going on the station
>depression
>suddenly RD with staff of healing approaches
>we get revived
>holy shit we got revived
>RD: "hey you guys are cool right"
>"yeah dude you know it"
>apprentice whispers, "kill them?"
>"yeah dude you know it"
>grab wizard gear off the floor, magic missile, recall my staff and light the place up
>death bolt RD, apprentice steals his healing staff, she heals me as we go and casts fireball on nerds (it's a robeless spell)
>parading around hall outside for another 3 minutes when an assistant suddenly wand of deaths me
>fuck not again
>he takes my chaos staff and deathbolts my apprentice too
>takes her healing staff, heals me, chaos bolts me
>now i'm a monkey
>i quickly form a plan: convince somebody to revive my apprentice, get to genetics, make me a man again
>but first i must escape this crazed assistant (and the RD, who was at some point revived and wanted revenge on me)
>grab my apprentice and sax harder than i've ever saxxed before
>fireballs and death bolts and shit are flying around, suddenly some assistant with another healing staff sees the dead apprentice im dragging and chases after trying to heal her
>allaccordingtoplan.mov

>at some point during this, i'm not sure what happened, but from what i gathered by radio chatter there was another wizard at some point
>admins must have spawned it when i died the first time
>apparently it has ei nath or some other shit and got dunked, but that's not important
>apparently it bought Summon Events
>the importance of this will soon be revealed

>saxxing away from RD, he whips out a taser and baton
>it seems my jukes have been foiled for the last time
>but ho, what's this?
>just in time, the Summon Events event "robeless casting" occurs
>my spells come back in full force despite being a monkey
>magic missile the RD at the last second, yoink his baton
>assistant with staff catches up and heals apprentice
>wait a minute fuck this i can just jaunt into genetics
>jaunt into genetics
>beg geneticist for human SE
>he doesnt know im a wizard and obliges
>just outside the window i see the RD beating my apprentice to death
>become a human
>MAGIC MISSILE!
>recall my staff of chaos once more
>turn the geneticist into a monkey
>blink out to my apprentice and magic missile
>kill some nerds, but not the RD
>RD gets outta there with the dead apprentice and the healing staff strapped to his back
>give chase down the various halls and fire a YOLO chaos bolt
>it's death bolt
>it snipes him from maybe two screens away
>catch up, strip off his healing staff, revive apprentice
>we'reinthistogether.jpg
>shooting up nerds above the bridge, having fun, kicking ass
>suddenly somebody wand-of-changes my apprentice
>she becomes a drone
>borg approaches so i grab her healing staff and skedaddle
>regroup around the dorms and find the droneprentice
>staff of chaos hoping for bolt of change
>it's death
>i have a healing staff though, i fix her up and the next shot is a bolt of change
>she becomes a monkey
>sax around with her and go by engineering
>trying to fix her to become a human with chaos staff, after like 20,000 bolts (none of which changed her except for one that just made her into a different numbered monkey) and defending against like 20 attackers (she had robeless spells so she could MM and fireball nerds while i MM chaos staffed) we decide to just go to genetics
>during this period the shuttle is called, docks, and departs
>fix her at genetics, right as the shuttle has 20 seconds to dock
>i need an ablative vest
>jaunt to the armory to find one, it's gone
>oh well
>best redtext i've ever had
>apprenticebro is still with me
>good times were had

[Not-Dorsidarf]

Awesomesauce.

(I think healing wands/staffs still turn borgs into naked humans)

[IcePacks]

wizard greentexting is overkill

you fuck up once and you're dead

[Venticular]

>be scientist
>all the science jobs are already taken
>shitter assistant breaks into science
>deal with them for a while
>at some point, space carp migration
>miner asks for hivelord remains (?) to be implanted in them
>try to do surgery
>remains won't fit
>Braxton the scientist is calling for help from RnD
>run over there
>they are getting dragged into maint by a guy with a holo
>nope out of there
>security and miner dude get there
>we follow the blood trail
>appear to loose the trail
>meme around for a few minutes
>find the blood trail again, it goes onto the solars
>get miner
>atmos tech is there when we go back to the solars
>says there isn't a body
>he goes back out again
>finds a body
>as it turns out, his body was spaced, and in a stroke of luck, it bounced off a space carp and flew back onto the solars
>the luck begins
>i suffocate in solar room
>get dragged to medbay
>regain consciousness
>Check out on Braxton, he is being cloned
>someone tries to blow up cloning
>they only blow up genetics
>Braxton is cloned and cryoed
>reasonablly think that someone really wants him dead
>Braxton and I go to the lockers and get disguised as unknowns
>Holo guy is going on a murderbone around medbay
>try to fight but eventually sax away
>go to sec, along the way we pick up another scientist
>pick up some lasers and tasers, go to the sec pod
>Murderboner guy has killed nearly the entire station
>We launch, only one other person was in a pod
>two traitors on the shuttle
>as it turned out, two traitors needed to kill Braxton
>Braxton and I survived out of sheer luck

realize that I just protected a high profile assassination target through sheer luck

[AngryTurnip]

I don't even know if this belongs in this thread or the tales of regret thread, but since I ended up getting greentext I guess I'll post it here.

>start round as cargo tech traitor
>buy martial arts scroll and syndicate encryption chip
>random people keep running up and punching me in the hallway
>be close to a bomb detonation in HoP office and get knocked down/hurt
>clown steals my ID, someone drags me to medbay
>heal and go to the bar
>talking to other traitors over syndicate comms
>see one of them in the hall, he immediately pulls out an esword and puts me into critical (find out later I wasn't his target or anything)
>someone else drags me to the medbay
>chaplain follows them in, and drags me away (find out later I was his target)
>puts me into coffin and tries to shoot me out of mass driver
>only goes like one tile before stopping
>magically come out of crit and I get back in through Evac airlocks
>get put in cryo at medbay, Chaplain comes back, drags me while passed out to incenerator
>engiborg (thank god) follows and tries to stop him
>he kills borg right as I wake up, I choke him to death
>other notable things that happen is a second guy trying to kill me with an esword (not his target), and an atmos tech sitting behind the desk shooting me with a flamethrower when I asked for an oxygen tank
>somehow survive to the end of the round
>my target apparently died at some point and I got greentext

[dionysus24779]

> Spawn Borg, it's still the week where the AI was disabled as a test
> Teleport to brigde to check out what Jobs are understaffed
> All pretty equal
> I dunno why but I guess Thomas Laser followed someone into brigde, despite some salty players pretending I let him in.
> Talk to him shortly
> Be suddenly flashed and emagged, in the middle of bridge in full plain sight of like half a dozen people or something
> Though there wasn't much of a response and since it was all out in the open Thomas even told me over the radio who I have to kill.
> Though eventually we meet up again and we roll over to science to disable the console, RnD, grab a few tools and basically just murderbone everyone who tried to stop us, though that devolved into murderboning everyone we saw.
> Had a few tough sports when Sec managed to corner us, though we somehow did manage to get out, but it was really close for me in some cases. Luckily Laser could repair me and keep my cells changed.
> Also somehwere in-between like almost all of the players got banned for like a minute or so because of a glitch, fun times.
> Eventually Shuttle is called, we manage to get on it all alone.
> Get greeted by Deathsquad at centcomm and are decimated.
> Laser greentexted despite us not having found his target actually, but he had a lot of fun and I thought it was hilarious how bold and open we were about being rogue/traitors.

> Since there was no AI (AI-less testweek) there was nobody who could've locked me down instantly, though I'm suprised nobody blew me before we got the console.

> Despite Thomas actually doing like 90% of all the kills with me stunning people mostly, there was a shit ton of salt directed at me in the after round OOC. Some especially whiny players even started to fabricate lies about me, saying I let Thomas into the bridge (which I did not, he was already inside after I finished checking the job monitor) and saying that I was just sitting there waiting to be flashed and emagged like I "always" do, despite me being emagged very rarely. (but I guess it's easy to forget all the rounds I am not emagged and go unnoticed because I'm just doing my job)

[Anonmare]

Other players are the worst part about playing anything

[PKPenguin321]

>someone else drags me to the medbay
>chaplain follows them in, and drags me away (find out later I was his target)
>puts me into coffin and tries to shoot me out of mass driver
>only goes like one tile before stopping
>magically come out of crit and I get back in through Evac airlocks

cryoxadone got put in your blood when you were in cryo and when you were freezing in space it activated, healing you
i know this because 1. cryo is so shit that i tried freezing myself in space and it worked better than cryo and 2. one time i tried spacing some dude in crit that i snuck out of a cryo tube, and he ratted me out over comms saying that the cryoxadone saved him

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be guard
>After a horrible previous round with shitcurity I resolve to be a cool guy
>Run around having fun
>Chappy asks for help, says his clown dagger was stolen
>So rude
>I'm on the case!
>Chappy follows me around as we search as my deputy
>At one point he even saves my taser when a fight in medbay goes sour
>Time passes and shit starts to get fucked
>Someone says it's rev over seccomm
>"Whaaat? No it isn't."
>Shortly later get stunbaton'd and cablecuffed by someone in the hall
>A crowd gathers...
>Chappy bro starts yelling at them and they back off
>He uncuffs me and says we're cool
>One of his pals offers to "baptize me"
>Say thanks but no thanks and bounce
>Things are fucked now, the revs are all over the place and seccomms are dead
>Go to my post in science to see if everything is fucked
>Everything is fine
>Hell the RD has guns and tells me to help myself
>Grab a SMG and five clips
>I won't hunt the revs, but I'll defend myself
>Clown shows up in the window
>Recall hearing the clown had tried to flash someone
>Don't say anything and the RD lets him in
>Show him my gun
>He asks to see it
>Sure buddy
>Give him the SMG
>He tries and fails to shoot the RD
>Get fucked, kid
>Returns my gun after his failure
>Leave after a bit
>An anomaly appeared right in science
>Sick, a PHAZON!
>Deactivate is while the clown watches and suddenly they pull the chappy's clown knife and stab me
>Sigh and backpedal into science
>Clown charges me
>Clown is impaled by a ten round burst and drops dead
>SUDDENLY END OF THE ROUND
>Clown was last headrev
>The heads were all but alive and hiding, presumably
>Chappy was rev
>Chappy rev bro saved me

Apparently I'm doing something right as sec if people spare me for it

[Cherrypone]

>Go janitor
"TIME TO CLEAN UP THIS DAMN STATI-"
>TOO BAD, YOU'RE A WIZARD HARRY!
>Objective is to steal the AI
>Decide to name myself "Isn't-A-Wizard" for maximum stealth.
>Take teleport, shapeshift (Mouse), knock, ethereal juant and instant summon
>Teleport into tech storage looking for an intellicard
>Isn't there
>Teleport into the RD's office instead
>Take the card, and then teleport into the mini-sat
>Use knock to get to the core and manage to card it
>Put the card on instant summon so I won't lose it
>Run around as mouse, go to bridge to call shuttle
>An idea comes
>Knock into cap's office, open his locker with his spare ID and get his gear
>Disguise myself as captain
>Run around as 'Captain'
>Tell the carded AI to pretend to be a pAI or I'll hurt the crew
>Do HoP stuff for a while, eventually promote a cargo tech who knew I was the wizard to it.
>Eventually another captain and HoP come
>Shit
>"LEVEL 7 BIOHAZARD BEEP BOOP"
>Double shit
>The crew seems divided between "OH GOD XENOMORPH DISEASE AHHH!" and "Common cold and a guy with a costume" on what the disease exactly is.
>Run around doing captain stuff, until eventually the new captain starts talking shit about lizards
>Try to call the shuttle, then remember the level 7 biohazard
>So I can't do that
>I end up killing him, but I'm caught in the act by the HoS
>Run to EVA Storage with the body, hoping to be able to hide it
>HoP (The one I didn't appoint) comes in and sees me in the act
>Drop it and then mouse into medical
>Heal up
>HOS COMES IN
>Fuck
>Try to escape as mouse
>Get lasered
>The rest of the round the crew tries to find a way to get the AI out of me, as you can't strip shapeshifted wizards
It was going so well...
To be honest, I was pretty much screwed as soon as the biohazard happened.

[Zilenan91]

Level 7 biohazard is a disease not a blob

[Cherrypone]

Level 7 biohazard is a disease not a blob

I know, but I was told that it meant a deathsquad would be sent (I didn't think this, but it did mean that it kept being recalled by the other captain)

[Venticular]

>low pop, twenty people on, time to be the law-
>YOU'RE A BEEP BOOP ROBOT
>ok
>sec borgs are removed
>ok
>become engineering borg
>relize I have a law 0
>AI's objectives are to kill an Assistant and the HoP
>set up engine, CE comes in
>gives me his encryption key
>kill poly when CE is gone, because fuck poly
>ok?
>begin to stalk my prey
>AI hacks me, get stunarm
>stalk assistant for a while
>AI plans to depower Tcomms when I brutally murder him
>goes onto the arrivals shuttle
>pets me
>stun him, weld him to crit
>space him
>"I loved you..."
>I'm sorry bro
>time to stalk HoP
>HoP is hanging around the kitchen for some reason?
>go to escape, see Assitant's body
>ohshit.jpg
>quickly hide body in space, make sure it stays there
>hang around HoP office
>his ID machine tells him to run and that there is danger nearby
>thefuck.mp3
>huge explosion in dorms
>two people got gibbed, one of them gets turned into a borg
>he too turns into engi borg
>"We need to kill the HoP"
>realize I have to leave soon for twenty minutes
>AI: "Time to Allahu Ackbar this shit up."
>ok
>Hang around the HoP office, act suspicious as fuck
>AI tells it as it is
>"No, it's fine"
>HoP goes into office
>time to strike
>we both stun and weld him to death in full view of two people
>"BORGS ROGUE, BLOW THE BORGS"
>NO ONE EXPECTS THE ROGUE AI
>blow up, gib his body
>ges put into an MMI
>well shit
>leave
--------
>come back
>round about to end
>vines everywhere
>AI fine
>round ends, there were three traitors including the AI
>they all had to kill the HoP
>HoP's MMI was given to a traitor to be borged
>AI greentexts

[DemonFiren]

I almost feel bad for that HoP.

[Zilenan91]

I remember this one time admins on Paradise Station made every crewmember on the entire station a traitor with the objective to nonlethally bully a chemist. The result was a fucking crowd of like 20 people mobbing him in chemistry, throwing water on him and giving him swirlies for 10 minutes until somebody blew them up with a bomb.

[IcePacks]

I almost feel bad for that HoP.

normal round

[newfren]

>box
>sybil
>late night traitor
>aw yeah time to meme around and-
>hijack

Welp!

>get cargo access from hop, then go break into the miraculously empty robotics and bug science until they up bluespace enough to build a ripley and a grav catapult
>by the time I'm finished cargo has like 140 points
>blow 100 on a supermatter
>AH YEAH BOY WE IN THIS
>drill open supermatter crate
>there is no shard
>more salt emoticons than man right now
>wait 10 years for points to build back up
>waiting
>waaaaaaaaaaaait
>order another shard
>get emag
>emag shard open
>pick up shard in ripley
>realise I forgot to get a rad suit
>get a rad suit
>go to science and great my good friend Morgan
>"Hey wanna see something cool?"
>Drop shard, throw into shard, pick up shard
>CJ the RD comes in
>"Hi CJ!"
>Fed to the shard
>Charge up and head to cargo
>find a cluster of a couple people
>into the shard!
>more people come running up, some run headfirst into the shard in the middle of the hallway, some almost make it past before collapsing of radiation and being fed into the shard
>about 10 skulls around cargo
>noone knows about me yet somehow
>head to the bridge, see a couple people mulling around
>Captain -> shard
>Warden -> shard
>Random mime in an atmos suit -> sh- oh wait he said codewords
>throw him away from the shard (he dies of radiation later, r i p)
>Starting to feel fairly irradiated through my suit
>steal some charcoal from medbay
>meanwhile introduce everyone there to my shard
>even you reed (sorry)
>Meanwhile half the station is erping with ayys or some shit and the shuttle is still somehow not called
>order borg to call the shuttle because I'm murdering everyone
>continuing murdering for a little while while charging in robo
>manage to get the only fucker smart enough to get a rad suit after several attempts
>Hos keeps wandering past with the ion gun, freaking out about telekinesis
>continuously fail to tag him with the shard
>he continuously seems completely fine from radiation
>Eventually get impatient and get ioned to death instead of just waiting for the shuttle
>about to give up, take a couple lasers, he collapses from radiation
>I book it because I'm essentially standing in a plasma fire, order a stimpack and juice myself up for the healing
>build a second ripley while freaking out a little
>finish it up, get grav thrower, shard is gone
>fuck!
>shuttle docks anyway, have to run through a plasma fire the shard created
>get on shuttle while burning to death but so does a bartender
>put myself out and emag the shuttle to go, strapping into the cockpit
>pass out
>borg finds me with 1:30 left
>heals me out of crit (praise asimov)
>buy emp implant, stun borg, convert borg
>order to kill
>shuttle timer is ticking down, I buy a minibomb
>huck it at the bartender
>3
>2
>1
>docking sounds
>explosion

Final objective tally:
Hijack: Fail
BE THE MADMAN: Success!

God it's such a fun way to murder.

[dionysus24779]

Though there was another living human on board the escape shuttle inside a sleeper, so even if the Bartender hadn't survived a second too long it would've been a fail.

[yackemflam]

>Server start
>YOU'RE A WIZARD HARRY
>Kill that fucking honk of a
>Stay alive
>Oh shit
>Decided to cheese
>Lesser summon guns, lich, jaunt x 2
>Place my soul in a bullet and throw it in a locker in maint with
>Rooty Tooty McShooty everyone in the station
>Saw the clown ONCE but never found him again
>Being a hard but fair dick
>Don't remove anyone from the round
>Shoot to crit, not kill
>Jaunt the captains office
>Fuck around for a bit
>Captain Mekhi and his entourage comes in
>I'm in his seat
>Oh shit x2
>Mekhi has a spear
>Oh shit x3
>I go and shoot 5 people down with my moist nuggets
>Mekhi goes down
>All but one soon follows
>See an officer
>Shoot him twice
>He yells MERCY
>I shot him again
>He's in crit
>He hasn't done anything
>I felt bad
>Take the comdoms id card and heal the pityful officer
>He is glad he didn't meet his maker
>He asked why so much bloodshed
>I told him I was after the clown
>His face when
>He claims to be the clown
>I don't beleive him
>Shuttle docks
>I decided to spare him and let him go
>I let an enemy go because I have a soft heart

I don't remember whether I greentexted or not but I won't forget how I took on 5 people at once in the captains office and mekhi with an explosive spear.
Whoever was the officer I spared, they had a story to tell about my slaughter.

That's why lesser summon guns was cut.

Edit: I was wrong, nerfed, not cut.

[Zilenan91]

LSG is still in, it just got nerfed

[lumipharon]

>Plant changes get merged
>making 100 potency everything up in this bitch
>chef is missing
>fuck it, grow plants
>someone keeps gibbing people
>fuck it, got 100 potency death berries
>pursuade some guy to eat death berries
>catch Johnny gibbing people red handed
>get all of sec and the guy that ate the death berries on him
>he 1 hit kills all of us because HG can into balance
>gibs us all
>murders and gibs some other people, 80% of crew gibbed
>he eats some raw meat
>it was the guy that ate the deathberries
>he drops dead like 10 seconds later outside of medbay

AYYYYY, greatest indirect kill ever - bonus points for being sweet revenge.

[Zilenan91]

What'd he 1-hit-kill you all with?

[lumipharon]

revolver, hg made everything half health which is exceedingly retarded.

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be sci sec
>Go to sci and introduce myself to everyone
>Tell guy in toxins to not fuck up
>He says he's a pro
>Ok then fam
>Leave sci
>Greyshirt flashes clown
>You little cuck
>Taze greyshirt and drag him to brig, implant resisted
>Execute him, one headrev down
>Grab the rest of the implants
>Go check up on sci
>Everything's in order
>I know who I have to implant
>Open toxins with HoP watching
>Scientist immediately expresses regret
>"I was so close man."
>Taze him down and start to implant him
>"I'm sorry, friends."
>LAG
>EXPLOSION
>MY FORM VAPORIZES
>HoP is caught in the blast too
>Dead
>He was a headrev
>The last headrev is eventually found and we win
>Tfw allhu ackbar'd in order to save the other heads

[TechnoAlchemist]

Goodbye my friends.*

Read in an israeli accent

[Luke Cox]

>Be CE
>Spy on PDAs
>HoP opens clown slots
>Report to captain
>Forge PDA message on monitor console calling the captain a faggot as HoP
>Send PDA messages as HoP daring the captain to fire me
>Captain responds with angry messages to HoP
>HoP actually starts threatening him
>Continue fueling fire
>Neither party catches on

Keks were had

[PKPenguin321]

>Be CE
>Spy on PDAs
>HoP opens clown slots
>Report to captain
>Forge PDA message on monitor console calling the captain a faggot as HoP
>Send PDA messages as HoP daring the captain to fire me
>Captain responds with angry messages to HoP
>HoP actually starts threatening him
>Continue fueling fire
>Neither party catches on

Keks were had

luke cux

[Luke Cox]

I've been trying to master telcomms recently and it's amazing how robust the system is. It's a goldmine for antag fuckery and all people can think to do is blow it up.

[DemonFiren]

I've been trying to master telcomms recently and it's amazing how robust the system is. It's a goldmine for antag fuckery and all people can think to do is blow it up.

Once upon a time, when we had NTSL...