Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

[Xhuis]

Bottom post of the previous page:

>Latejoin miner
>You are the traitor!
>Steal magboots, escape alive
>Code Words: Research Director, whiskey soda, kill
>Code Response: (some name), label, long island tea
>Mine for a little bit, kill two goliaths with a kinetic accelerator and reinforce my hardsuit
>Janitor asks over radio: "Do we have a Research Director?"
>Respond with long drawn out response along the lines of "I know one, (some name). He enjoys whiskey soda and long island iced tea, and I'd kill for some of his food."
>Janitor says that I was odd, I respond with a "whatever"
>PDA message from janitor - "Well well well. What are your plans?"
>Meet up in arrivals, get all-access from janitor who has subverted AI
>Go mining again, revive a goliath with a lazarus injector but it's docile
>Two people trying to make a H.O.N.K.
>Ask for one, they agree
>Help make two, DNA-lock mine
>Other guy leaves, roboticist can't climb in
>Suddenly, idea
>Climb in, DNA lock it, say I don't know why it let me in
>Quickly message janitor, who comes
>Un-lock it, have him get in and lock it
>Slip away in our dual H.O.N.K. mechs, use the maint mechbay to get weapons
>Mine has a diamond drill, Hades carbine (fire bullets), and honker blast
>His has a laser gun, honker blast, and something else
>hunke
>Station in chaos, people being honked and shot/lasered/drilled to death
>AI calls shuttle
>Make sure pods are empty and destroy cloning, go on shuttle
>ASSISTANT WITH ION RIFLE
>Plus some random person with a pickaxe
>Dodge ion shots, hunke+drill
>Janitor comes in on his mech
>Ride the shuttle to victory

[IcePacks]

hey nerds

remember how you spared me

i completed my objective so you can huff my paxchode

[Vekter]

Nerf the HONK pls

[dionysus24779]

> Get borged, engieborg, oldskool for me
> Help set up singulo and stuff
> Cult round!
> Try to help take out their base in chapel maint, but no real chance
> Drag security guy to genetics and speedclone him
> Juggernaut breaks through the wall
> Pwn Juggernaut with my welder and secguy throws some floortiles too I guess
> Juggernaut defeated, proclaim how engieborgs are the masterrace and superior to juggernauts
> Suddenly Nar Sie
> Get gibbed by Nar Sie but MMI survives
> Sit in Medbay taunting Nar Sie for not being able to kill me because I'm too powerful
> Many skulls and ghosts appear around me
> Explode in firery explosion of awesomeness

>Yay~

[ThoughtSynapsis]

Oh my lord, This round was fantastic in every regard for me.

>Spawn in for science! Decide to do Xenobio work.
>My lovely love forever love and some more love things Kenzie wants to work with me, We both promptly start working on slimes while I inform her of a few tips.
>About twenty minutes in we're making good progress despite me kissing her enough to convince deadchat we're ERP'ing, The station radio is talking about lings and "The arm blade leader"
>"Eh, Keep working in science."
>Twenty minutes later, Ward PDA's Kenzie.
>Ward arrives in Xenobio to inform us that the station is under control of a changeling coalition that killed off security and the heads of staff, And that he needs a place to hide.
>Me and Kenzie keep breeding slimes like crazy, We start becoming a bit paranoid.
>The coalition arrives in xenobio, Five ling's come in and beat Ward to death and drag him off to the great beyond. They leave us to our work.
>"John, What do we do now?"
>"We make an army"
>I try as quick as possible to finish breeding Cerulean's and Adamentite's
>The shuttle is finally called because Jane probably figured out they ruled everything
>We finally breed adamentites.
>I explain what the cerulean slimes do, And use them to boost the adamentite runes.
>Three golems come in, I tell them to protect Kenzie and to kill off the ling army.
>Three isn't enough.
>I go to escape, And make six more runes hoping ghosts will want to jump into the action.
>First one golem...
>Then another...
>Then another...
>All of the runes become golems, And my army is ready. Tell them all to aim for Jane, Danny, and the other lings.
>We all hope on the shuttle, Including the coalition.
>A giant fight starts, Jane is beaten to an absolute pulp while danny tries to kill me. He and another ling either fled or quickly transformed themselves to blend in and not get beaten.
>Tell the golems to party for a job well done.

That was infinity satisfying. Nothing feels quite as amazing as watching the culmination of you and your waifu's work.

[Kavaloosh]

Spoiler:

Oh my lord, This round was fantastic in every regard for me.

>Spawn in for science! Decide to do Xenobio work.
>My lovely love forever love and some more love things Kenzie wants to work with me, We both promptly start working on slimes while I inform her of a few tips.
>About twenty minutes in we're making good progress despite me kissing her enough to convince deadchat we're ERP'ing, The station radio is talking about lings and "The arm blade leader"
>"Eh, Keep working in science."
>Twenty minutes later, Ward PDA's Kenzie.
>Ward arrives in Xenobio to inform us that the station is under control of a changeling coalition that killed off security and the heads of staff, And that he needs a place to hide.
>Me and Kenzie keep breeding slimes like crazy, We start becoming a bit paranoid.
>The coalition arrives in xenobio, Five ling's come in and beat Ward to death and drag him off to the great beyond. They leave us to our work.
>"John, What do we do now?"
>"We make an army"
>I try as quick as possible to finish breeding Cerulean's and Adamentite's
>The shuttle is finally called because Jane probably figured out they ruled everything
>We finally breed adamentites.
>I explain what the cerulean slimes do, And use them to boost the adamentite runes.
>Three golems come in, I tell them to protect Kenzie and to kill off the ling army.
>Three isn't enough.
>I go to escape, And make six more runes hoping ghosts will want to jump into the action.
>First one golem...
>Then another...
>Then another...
>All of the runes become golems, And my army is ready. Tell them all to aim for Jane, Danny, and the other lings.
>We all hope on the shuttle, Including the coalition.
>A giant fight starts, Jane is beaten to an absolute pulp while danny tries to kill me. He and another ling either fled or quickly transformed themselves to blend in and not get beaten.
>Tell the golems to party for a job well done.

That was infinity satisfying. Nothing feels quite as amazing as watching the culmination of you and your waifu's work.

it was good, real good

[danno]

>they thought I was the ringleader
haha what

[Kavaloosh]

all lings are born equal

[Alzam]

>start round as clown
>I'm bored so I decide to see how long it takes for me to get valided so I name myself STEAL JETPACK ESCAPE
>borg brings me a jetpack out of the blue
>well damn
>I tell the borg that I'm the highest ranking member of the crew and I demand to be let into the captain's quarters
>it complies, I become the Head of Honks
>CE recognizes my status in exchange for all access
>walk around, autumn sinnow kills punpun at one point and gets robusted for it
>i make a captains announcement that bullying is against the law
>at some point the CE and someone else (can't remember) start beating the chaplain with the telescopic baton for being an athiest, they give him my UE and a sex change, and force him to wear the maid outfit and chicken head (what the fuck)
>clone autumn
>she pops out claiming that the bartender was bullying her
>i tell her that's no good and give her an egun, because I was feeling like an enabling shithead even though she clearly was the aggressor
>Reese and Autumn are getting bullied by the AI upload turrets so I turn them off and help them build an AI, a second clown joins around this point
>clown, reese, autumn, and miku (the bartender) all in the ai upload with exposed law boards
>I bid them farewell and say I trust them to not abuse the upload
>Johnny English the librarian screams for help from the library
>i rush over there, and there lays his body, with a note giving a clue
>can't find the clue for a bit (it's behind a chair sprite)
>eventually a silent secmask wearing man by the name of "Danny Spanish" appears, and becomes my watson as we find clue after clue pointing to the culprit
>AI is getting its laws fucked with constantly, autumn and miku are both antagonizing the shit out of eachother and I'm completely oblivious to all of this since I'm having my own adventure
>miku apparently goes on a rampage, and the HoP ends up with my UE as well as like two other people I think
>Autumn and Reese eventually killed and borged for being bullies, and become anti bully bots
>the anti bully bots are apparently accusing people of being bullies due to law conflicts, however I remain completely oblivious to this
>more clues, which point towards Miku Frost, but I claim that it's cold after Autumn (the clue was Frost) so clearly Autumn sinnow is the killer
>end up on clown planet with Danny Spanish where I accuse him of being the TRUE murderer.
>find out that the killer was Danny Spanish, who was posing as Autumn Sinnow, who was actually Johnny English all along
>well shit
>bully bot tries to arrest miku, ends up spacing itself, RIP.
>round ends.


10/10 would play again.

[Cipher3]

>find out that the killer was Danny Spanish

Do I get points for having guessed this all the way back at the line he was introduced?

[bandit]

The creamatorium.

[Preamble]

>Play SS13
>shitstir in OOC

[Braindude]

xpost from stories of rage, tears and regret

>Late join as engineer
>The Syndicate have cunningly disguised a Syndicate Uplink as your PDA-Apple Ringer (Station Engineer) . Simply enter the code "581 Bravo" into the ringtone select to unlock its hidden features.
The Syndicate provided you with the following information on how to identify other agents:
Code Phrase: skill, Clown, honesty.
Code Response: beliefs, Virologist.
Use the code words in the order provided, during regular conversation, to identify other agents. Proceed with caution, however, as everyone is a potential foe.
You are the traitor.
Objective #1: Assassinate Loreto Todd, the Chef.
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle or an escape pod alive.
>Ok
>Roam around
>Head for engineering, get some stuff
>Alexandria Viorre [145.9] stammers, " hel-lp-p to t-tox-xin-ns-s-s-s"
>Go there
>Captain arresting Chemist Engineer (wot)
>Stunned by borg
>Take Chemist's bag, grab emag and advanced egun, neat
>Put in bag so am not spotted
>Disguise as atmos tech clad with black gloves, emag in captain's office for muh spare ID
>Ain't there
>Try to find the chef, can't
>Go to engineering, borg goes check the singulo, p suspicious
>I wait for the borg to leave with me so it doesn't release it
>Borg tases me, cuffs me, brings me to maint next to grav gen and lasers me.
>Puts me on solars.
>Borg is ordered by master, Alexandria to bring to robotics
>Am brained, alexandria seems to have ADHD, takes 10 mins to put me in a MMI and 10 mins more to put me in a borg body.
>Once i'm in a MMI, I tell her I was a traitor too, our codewords match.
>She puts me back in my body and clones me, gives my shit back including PDA.
>Tell her my objective, my target is killed by borgs
>Lures me into R&D, play along.
>She's probably planning something, I buy parapen and c4 (scrub tier but there's no risk of fucking up)
>Jam her with the pen and C4 her, give her the middle finger
>Run off to engineering, act like I don't know she died or what, her body wasn't even found when the shuttle left.
>Turn the PA up to 2, say i'm heading for engineering pods, go to arrivals pods.
>Sweeeeet victooory.

[Miauw]

>Latejoin miner
>You are the traitor!
>Steal magboots, escape alive
>Code Words: Research Director, whiskey soda, kill
>Code Response: (some name), label, long island tea
>Mine for a little bit, kill two goliaths with a kinetic accelerator and reinforce my hardsuit
>Janitor asks over radio: "Do we have a Research Director?"
>Respond with long drawn out response along the lines of "I know one, (some name). He enjoys whiskey soda and long island iced tea, and I'd kill for some of his food."
>Janitor says that I was odd, I respond with a "whatever"
>PDA message from janitor - "Well well well. What are your plans?"
>Meet up in arrivals, get all-access from janitor who has subverted AI
>Go mining again, revive a goliath with a lazarus injector but it's docile
>Two people trying to make a H.O.N.K.
>Ask for one, they agree
>Help make two, DNA-lock mine
>Other guy leaves, roboticist can't climb in
>Suddenly, idea
>Climb in, DNA lock it, say I don't know why it let me in
>Quickly message janitor, who comes
>Un-lock it, have him get in and lock it
>Slip away in our dual H.O.N.K. mechs, use the maint mechbay to get weapons
>Mine has a diamond drill, Hades carbine (fire bullets), and honker blast
>His has a laser gun, honker blast, and something else
>hunke
>Station in chaos, people being honked and shot/lasered/drilled to death
>AI calls shuttle
>Make sure pods are empty and destroy cloning, go on shuttle
>ASSISTANT WITH ION RIFLE
>Plus some random person with a pickaxe
>Dodge ion shots, hunke+drill
>Janitor comes in on his mech
>Ride the shuttle to victory

That is amazing

[AzianPowah]

A story of half-awesome:

>be assistantling
>objectives to kill the chef and steal the reactive teleport armor
>run around the maintenance tunnels looking for braindead people
>awildassistantappears.jpg
>absorb him and stash him into a locker
>transform into him
>fuck yeah xray
>destroy beepsky and loot the stunbaton
>commence plan "fuckthechef1.0"
>hack into kitchen backroom
>hide in locker
>wait ten minutes for chef to use the gibber
>fuck that shit i'll get Tau to help me
>Tau brings chef a braindead body
>chef stands next to the gibber
>mutestingharmbatonharmbaton
>chefdown.jpg
>run away into the maintenance tunnel
>spend the remaining 30 minutes of the round looking for the research director
>mfw research director became a slime and fucked off to nowhere
>nogreentext

[RG4]

>Be traitor RD,had to kill two people.
>Got killed by getting flashed by traitor scientist, gonna save one of my robo buddies
>Chaplin revives me with his book.
>Retard, fuck.
>Continue RD work till I believe I got blown up.
>Upset that I'll never greentest
>Blessed H. Legionare comes out of fucking know where and starts seed pod growing me
>So fucking happy as I'm drug around as a seed pod to the escape pods.
>Anchors me down in the pod and grows me
>Greentext
>Helped the potatoe with a potatoe
>Blessed is love, Blessed is life.

[Swagile]

>hos
>my sec team is quiet
>i run around a bit, patrolling with a cool sec borg
>"gateway is online"
>why not
>find out there are disablers there
>engineer brings a butt load of them to the crew
>decide that fighting against it would be boring and stressful so i just have fun with it
>entire crew fights each other with disablers
>suddenly "gateway is now broken"
>spiders flood from gateway
>everyones panicing
>give everyone guns from armory and take riot shotgun for myself
>virologist friend i kept fighting with in good sport gave me a super disease
>geneticists gave me cold res and hulk but i lost it due to feeling weak, so i still have cold res
>run about the station with miner's shotgun thingy and combat shotgun filled with lethals
>kill spiders with miner shotgun and riot shotgun
>drag dead bodies to medbay and save two borgs
>manage to get them to the shuttle before it lifts off
>extended

ah what a wonderful round

[Miauw]

>HBL's birthday
>America round on Artyom
>Join as a borg
>go to bar
>Start talking about the pointlessness of life and how death is the only true freedom and how we fear it
>Barman is fed up with my shit, orders me to go away
>I do
>Go to science
>Start over again
>He tells me to shut up
>I do
>Head to robotics
>Start over again
>Guns appear
>adminslaughing.png
>Manage to convince the roboticist
>We go spread the word togheter
>Talk to a guy in the halls
>He says he's off the grid
>We go to his hideout (meta maint bar)
>Talk to him
>Keep talking
>Other guy arrives
>Keep talking
>They don't agree with me
>Meanwhile more guns have appeared
>Greyshirts decide to play blackjack for guns
>Roboticist joins them
>I leave to spread the word more
>Meanwhile SHIT HAS GONE DOWN and the shuttle has been called and recalled a dozen times, people have respawned a lot and the halls are littered with corpses
>Spreading the word doesn't go very good
>Almost get killed twice
>Go back to the hideout
>Say that I have changed my mind somewhat
>Life is pointless, but I too am afraid of the freedom that death brings
>So I could as well enjoy it
>Ask to be made human again
>Bros agree
>We go to the halls
>Steal a corpse of a random assistant laying around
>Go to operating theatre
>Debrain assistant
>Ask the AI to blow me
>It does
>Roboticist unlocks my MMI, we go to cloning and bug the geneticist to clone me with maximum priority
>Meanwhile the shuttle has docked
>A bug makes my MMI unable to be emptied
>tfw I probably caused this bug myself
>Bros take me to the shuttle
>Have to duck to advoid bullets
>Ride to centcomm with my bros.

10/10 round.

[Hibbles]

6:36 PM - Hibbles: Double Agents
6:36 PM - Hibbles: normally worse than 10 Hitlers
6:36 PM - Hibbles: Cap gave all-access to an Assistant for helping set up the Singulo, as promised. So he gave it out.
6:36 PM - Hibbles: Assistant did bad things, Sec takes all-access and decides to remove Captain from power.
6:36 PM - Hibbles: Captain breaks free, gets AI and borgs (Corporate) on his side, and raises a Cargo militia to rebel against Sec and arrest them all.
6:37 PM - Hibbles: A literal civil war breaks out on the station with both sides non-antag.
6:37 PM - Hibbles: It was incredible to watch.

DEAD: Kels Orvinson says, "Any Captain that hands out all-access to assistants deserves to be brigged."
DEAD: Yig says, "Kels, not when that assistant sets up the engine."
DEAD: Kels Orvinson says, "If he uses it to take guns from the armory, yeah."

[Swagile]

I was the captain :^)

[Jacough]

Happened on Artyom
> Cargo Tech
> Changling running around turning everyone, including me into Bryce Pax
> Eventually the emergency shuttle is called
> See an unknown guy with a space suit helmet dragging along a guy and wailing on him with a meat cleaver
> Only weapon I've got on me is a broken bottle and I'm not exactly robust so I call out his location and leg it
> Shuttle arrives
> People start boarding
> Cleaver guy drags beepsky on to the shuttle with him
> Officer Beepsky starts going to town on everyone (I think it's because Bryce Pax was wanted and surprise surprise, almost everyone on the shuttle had been transformed into him)
> Cleaver guy is running around the shuttle with a taser and meat cleaver, slaughtering everyone in sight
> I spend a good portion of the countdown to launch dodging his shots and yakkity saxing around the shuttle avoiding him and Officer Beepsky
> Finally manage to escape into that storage room area of the shuttle
> He comes in
> Nowhere really left to run
> Draw my broken bottle, know I'm pretty fucked
> We run around the storage area trying to land blows on eachother
> I'm hurting pretty bad
> By some miracle manage to knock him down, not sure if I critted him or not, don't care
> Grab his meat cleaver and immediately start hacking away at him even after he's unconscious
> Ling warden walks in just as the shuttle's about to launch
> tasers me
> Just able to scream out "he's a traitor!" before he switches to lethal and unloads the rest of his egun on me

I may have died but that was still a beautiful fight

[cedarbridge]

>Drones on Artyom.
>nest buildin, botany raidin, light bulb replacin
>AI announces "oh dear the singularity is loose
>drones reason that this is probably a bad thing for the long term station removal plans and prepare to triage any repairs needed
>all of the drones except for 208
>208 runs to the nest (with a protolathe) and prints a bag of holding and rushes at the singuloth
>in a last act of defiance, the little drone that could jumps into the singulo
>AI announces "The singularity is gone"
>cheers and mourning in dronechat

Drones are the best

[Cipher3]

I feel like that's somewhat iffy on drone laws though, honestly. They just stopped something probably done by a traitor that was intended to screw over the entire station and get a shuttle here.

[Rhisereld]

>Doing genetics stuff
>Five minutes in so no powers yet
>Some greyshirt comes and starts whining for powers.
>"Go away, please."
>tfw he doesn't start breaking shit
>tfw he doesn't start screaming "do your job"
>tfw he actually goes away

It's sad that I consider this a win.

[cedarbridge]

I feel like that's somewhat iffy on drone laws though, honestly. They just stopped something probably done by a traitor that was intended to screw over the entire station and get a shuttle here.

There is no way for the drones to have that information.

[NikNakFlak]

>Drones on Artyom.
>nest buildin, botany raidin, light bulb replacin
>AI announces "oh dear the singularity is loose
>drones reason that this is probably a bad thing for the long term station removal plans and prepare to triage any repairs needed
>all of the drones except for 208
>208 runs to the nest (with a protolathe) and prints a bag of holding and rushes at the singuloth
>in a last act of defiance, the little drone that could jumps into the singulo
>AI announces "The singularity is gone"
>cheers and mourning in dronechat

Drones are the best

[16:41:03]SAY: Ghost/Isane : THE DRONE DID IT
[16:41:03]SAY: NikNakflak/(drone) : WOO HOO
[16:41:08]SAY: *Mute/ThatSlyFox : that drone just saved all of you
[16:41:16]SAY: Ghost/Mechoid : It just took four bags of holding.
[16:41:17]SAY: NikNakflak/(drone) : I DID IT
[16:41:17]SAY: As334/(drone) : WOOT WOOT! Now we just have to rebuild.....
[16:41:24]SAY: *Mute/ThatSlyFox : Praise drone 208
[16:41:26]SAY: JJRcop/(drone) : Singularity is gone then
[16:41:30]SAY: NikNakflak/(drone) : IM A HERO


Mechoid and I were both bombing it, it was a group effort, my bag of holding was the final one though.
Now I'm not sure if this violates Drone policy. I dont know drone policy. AURX: WHAT ARE THE LIMITATIONS OF DRONES?

[Psyentific]

AURX: WHAT ARE THE LIMITATIONS OF DRONES?

Nobody knows!

[Alzam]

>latejoin mime
>you are the tator!
>steal magboots, escape alive
>emag my way into the CEs office and steal the boots, then decide to fuck with the singulo to get the shuttle called
>captain comes in with a straightjacketed assistant
>manage to yakkity my way to safety
>People are calling for my head
>stash boots and emag and decide to turn myself in, might get lucky
>make up a bullshit story about trying to just supercharge the engine to be an asshole, not grand sabotage
>no one buys it
>captain keeps asking if I'd like a drink
>am retarded and don't notice that he's acting captain, not the real one
>he finally gives up and whispers that he's working for the same people
>his assistant sec officer comes back with a chem implant
>cap pulls out a revolver and insta crits them, bodybags and stashes them with no one the wiser
>lets me out
>chef comes with food
>gets gunned down
>traitor cap kills everyone else on the station
>we both make it to the shuttle, and I emag it
>a minute before we land
>he asks how I feel when hes about to cash in both paychecks
>stun and cuffs me
>OHFUCK
>"Just kidding"
>he hugs me as I fear for my life and the round ends

[Miauw]

yeah that is blatantly breaking drone laws

[NikNakFlak]

Singularities are not beings.
In argument, destroying the station destroying blackhole helps fix things.
That's all I got.

[miggles]

would boh bombing the singulo really be considered interference if no other living being is trying to stop the singulo
it could easily be justified with "were trying to protect the station"
just like fixing a breach isnt interference because its done to fix the station, not save people from lack of air or whatever

[cedarbridge]

yeah that is blatantly breaking drone laws

If it were "blatantly" breaking the laws then that violation could be made clear. As it is, the only explanation given for "that breaks drone laws" is the idea that the singulo was ~probably~ set loose by a tator and drones can't interfere with a tator's plans to ruin the station. The probably bit hangs there because there's no way for the drones to know what caused the singularity to get loose. Simply that it is damaging the station and mitigating damage without interference with others is the entire word and spirit of drone law. To do otherwise would require drones to have way more information than they would ever possibly have.

It was awesome.
Drones were awesome.

[Miauw]

The point of drones is letting people back into the round without giving them a chance to fuck up traitor's shit.
When the singulo is loose and it's not just 10 minutes into the round, you KNOW it is a traitor so you should just stay the fuck away from that shit.

E: Eh, this is why there are so many fucking policies for silicons. I guess your interpretation of these laws is also sort of correct so this discussion can only end in a shitstorm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Swagile]

Singulo already achieved end result anyway. Shuttle called with no recall chanxe. *shrug

[ColonicAcid]

yeah but what if the singularity went through escape.
Or the traitor bought a beacon.
Seriously tho I like drones and everything but don't pull stuff like this, just make your autism fort and don't worry bout nothing else going on.

[bandit]

Recreating the Milgram experiment as antag with the mime and a few assistants. Having people not even validhunt me for it.

[Rumia29]

Became a blobs arch-nemesis, practically pushing it back on my own.
The dead was cheering and the admins gave me an objective yo kill the blob.
The admins had to end the round VIA nuke because it was going on for too long though. Although they sent the ferry for me.
Was a ton of fun!

[Crushtoe]

>start round as clown
>I'm bored so I decide to see how long it takes for me to get valided so I name myself STEAL JETPACK ESCAPE
>borg brings me a jetpack out of the blue
>well damn
>I tell the borg that I'm the highest ranking member of the crew and I demand to be let into the captain's quarters
>it complies, I become the Head of Honks
>CE recognizes my status in exchange for all access
>walk around, autumn sinnow kills punpun at one point and gets robusted for it
>i make a captains announcement that bullying is against the law
>at some point the CE and someone else (can't remember) start beating the chaplain with the telescopic baton for being an athiest, they give him my UE and a sex change, and force him to wear the maid outfit and chicken head (what the fuck)
>clone autumn
>she pops out claiming that the bartender was bullying her
>i tell her that's no good and give her an egun, because I was feeling like an enabling shithead even though she clearly was the aggressor
>Reese and Autumn are getting bullied by the AI upload turrets so I turn them off and help them build an AI, a second clown joins around this point
>clown, reese, autumn, and miku (the bartender) all in the ai upload with exposed law boards
>I bid them farewell and say I trust them to not abuse the upload
>Johnny English the librarian screams for help from the library
>i rush over there, and there lays his body, with a note giving a clue
>can't find the clue for a bit (it's behind a chair sprite)
>eventually a silent secmask wearing man by the name of "Danny Spanish" appears, and becomes my watson as we find clue after clue pointing to the culprit
>AI is getting its laws fucked with constantly, autumn and miku are both antagonizing the shit out of eachother and I'm completely oblivious to all of this since I'm having my own adventure
>miku apparently goes on a rampage, and the HoP ends up with my UE as well as like two other people I think
>Autumn and Reese eventually killed and borged for being bullies, and become anti bully bots
>the anti bully bots are apparently accusing people of being bullies due to law conflicts, however I remain completely oblivious to this
>more clues, which point towards Miku Frost, but I claim that it's cold after Autumn (the clue was Frost) so clearly Autumn sinnow is the killer
>end up on clown planet with Danny Spanish where I accuse him of being the TRUE murderer.
>find out that the killer was Danny Spanish, who was posing as Autumn Sinnow, who was actually Johnny English all along
>well shit
>bully bot tries to arrest miku, ends up spacing itself, RIP.
>round ends.


10/10 would play again.

I was the CE, one of the best rounds ever. The chaplain was honestly one of the best because he actually roleplayed as a Chaplain, but...yeah. Athiest Chaplain.

[BlessedHeretic]

> Start round as miner
> OH GOD PEOPLE ARE FLASHING
> My body is ready, and my mind is sharpened.
> Mine for materials, get jetpack, get stims
> Break into arrivals and steal jumpsuit, flashbang, spray and flash, sec radio and HUD.
> Begin patroling after gearing up
> See officer being killed and dragged to maint
> chase , but ulitmately fail
> Hos comes, Join up and search for missing sec officer
> Find assistant with basically the whole armory in his backpack, flashbanged him, saved HoS, took a few tasers and an e-gun and 2 batons
> Say farewell to HoS
> go to armory, take shots at looters without implants
> Meet up with 2 implanted
> March to medbay
> things seem ok until
> OH SHIT AN IMPLANTED IS BEING CUFFED DRAGGED AROUND
> save them
> MEDBAY GOES HOSTILE AND STARTS TO ATTACK
> BATON PICKAXE STANCE MASTERY
> Beat down 7 revs
> Search for my team
> Ded
> BEGIN REVENGE MURDER OF ALL NON IMPLANTED
> Begin attempting to clone fallen
> Miku Frost begins to clone
> PEOPLE ARE COMING AND THEY ARE NOT IMPLANTED
> gun down anyone with weapons whom are not implanted
> Others join them to try and stop me, murder them too
> Wave after wave of revs swarm medbay
> Medborg finally subverted and tries to tray me to death
> Flash it and beat it to death
> ANOTHER MINER JOINS THE ASSAULT ON THE ENEMIES SIDE
> but I am goliath plated so i win hands down.
> Keep murdering and attempting to clone loyalty
> Roboticist is playing it REALLY defensive, assuming head rev but no stun gun
> Finally take a buddies PDA and recharge my main weapons
> STUN ROBOTICIST AND BEGIN THE PICKAXE PAIN TRAIN
> Finally dies
> REVOLUTION HAS FAILED
> I solely took out 20 revs at the least (maybe a few innocents.)
> OOC "I win!"
> Get called meta faggot.
> Also was never implanted myself.

I kind of want fan art for this. That was a really intense round.

[Cipher3]

> Also was never implanted myself.

> go to armory, take shots at looters without implants
> BEGIN REVENGE MURDER OF ALL NON IMPLANTED
> PEOPLE ARE COMING AND THEY ARE NOT IMPLANTED
> gun down anyone with weapons whom are not implanted

[Tokiko2]

Don't know if I should post this here or in the regrets thread...

Lowpop round, am an atmos tech, only person in engineering so captain asks me to set up the engine. Seeing the freezer in atmos reminds me that you can cool down plasma to fit more moles into a tank and get more power out of the collectors. Thinking about how to make the engine more powerful, an idea comes to mind: What if we used two singularities? I ask the crew if they're fine and the captain, HoS and AI are all very excited about such an idea and agree to test this out...

Set up the engine and wrench a second singularity generator into the containment field. Captain, HoS, HoP, AI all gather and watch as we turn on the engine, captain having a box of medals ready at hand. We successfully create the twingularity! But as they reach stage 2, they immediatly eat the containment field and everyone panics. Grab the CE hardsuit and continue to observe the singulo as it drifts around near the AI sat (not sure where the other one went but there was no other damage to the station so I assume it left for space).

Suddenly, one of the singularities immediatly starts heading directly towards atmos. Move back a bit and notice thanks to my mesons that there's a tile of plasma in the mixing chamber...and then there's 3. But before the chamber is even fully filled with plasma the singulo already eats away the mixing chamber, then eats all the harmful gas chambers and moves back towards the AI sat. Shuttle arrives, everyone is safe, no further damage. Plasma flood unsuccessful.

Turns out the AI was subverted and singulo actually saved us. Still can't believe how perfect the timing and precision of the singulo was.

[Rumia29]

I think this is a story of awesome for the SINGULARITY, so I think it fits here.

[BlessedHeretic]

> Start round as Xeno Bio Scientist
> YOU ARE A HEAD REVOLUTIONARY
> Well joy, this is gonna be fun
> Flash a few scientists
> Go back to working slimes
> Shitty mutations
>Holy fuck give me something not orange and light blue
> 5 minutes later
> Gold slimes, FUCK YOU GAME
> Adamt slime
> Finally
> Start making golems
> FINALLY GET PURPLE
> Make more golems, give one golem a backpack full of gold slime cores and tell him to ji-had non revs with it
> GREEN SLIME
> Still making more golems
> Flash runs out, oh well
> BLACK SLIMES
> Begin injecting my rev children to turn into slimes
> THE RECKONING BEGINS
> Slimes nom people in the halls
> Cap and Hos Nomed
> Gear up as HoS / Captain
> Final fight at arrivals
> Golems and Slimes power overwhelming
> REVOLUTION HAS WON
> VIVA LA SLIMES

[Raven776]

>Be Traitor Scientist
>Kill John Doe, the Quartermaster
>Escape by hijacking the shuttle alone
>Have .5 second lag. Well shit.
>Dick around in telescience for a while. Lowpop round, and I like to take it slow.
>Wait for research to be done. Print AI upload board.
>Set it up in scientist breakroom. No one goes in there but assistants. Screwdriver to hide it in the corner.
>Subvert AI. Tell it to be cool for a while.
>Go about emagging the doors shut to the shuttle. Tell AI to turn off bolt lights.
>Wait around 20 minutes. Equip assistants with Eguns to pass the time.
>About to give up and go try to murder this guy and make my escape when the door hisses open.
>Quartermaster asshole has all access somehow, loaded up with dozens of guns and captain's hardsuit.
>Oh shit, he must have carded the AI and saw the laws.
>Asks to go to the clown asteroid.
>This was before clown planet. I was known to teleport people around Z levels so he assumed I had the coordinates ready.
>Heart stopped. Time stopped.
>Tell him to get on the telepad and I ask him if he has enough oxygen, explain the GPS communication procedures, secretly doing the math for an entirely new set of coordinates...
>He says he's ready. Tells me to send him now or else he tazes me and takes me prisoner.
>Wat.
>Press send. Z layer 1.
>Hear on radios, "The Quartermaster is dead in space."
>"Wait, now he's gone..."
>Manhunt ensues for QM and their murderer.
>QM was eaten by singularity I teleported him into.
>People ask to teleport to deep space to look for him.
>Lord Singulos gets his nummy nums.
>Tell the AI to lock everything down, everywhere down, and to tell people that the singularity was loose and to lead people directly to escape pods, not shuttle.
>Wait five minutes.
>Someone comes in to get teleported to shuttle. I singularity them too since the coordinates were already in.
>People are lining up outside the shuttle anyways. Haven't noticed the doors are emagged yet. AI is telling me this, asks me if I want him to syphon plasma.
>Hold the fucking phone, AI. I told you not to kill anyone.
>Complains that it is the only way to stop human harm.
>I tell him to pump N20 if he really wants to, but no plasma. I figure I can quench his murderboner with this for a while.
>Shuttle docks. I warp directly in front of the command console, slam my Emag into the computer, and then hide in an oxy locker while I wait.
>Shuttle departs, see someone almost get in.
>Apologize over the intercomm.

[IcePacks]

>captain
>stuff
>catch reese shooting people up with horrific deathjuice syringes
>shoot him up with them
>make him ai
>try to acquire c4 to deter ian theft
>decide he'll never give me the code to his pda OR approve of me jamming a remote-detonated block of explosives in kevin's chest
>purge all his laws
>acquire c4
>jam it in kevin's chest and tell him to stop trying to steal ian (jesus fucking christ)
>reesebot informs me he was sent here to kill johnny english
>tell johnny english to standby in maintenance for an identity change
>he goes MUH SLIMES and cuts all the cameras while an ostensible murderbot watches him do it
>MUH SLIMES
>MUH SLIMES
>MUH SLIMES
>mime blows him up
>call shuttle
>everyone gets guns
>head of security tries to go all nazi over shuttle rights
>tell him to shut the fuck up
>no coup
>leave on the shuttle
>catch the clown with what i thought was his own brick of c4
>blow him up with it
>oops that was kevin's
>oh well

[BlessedHeretic]

> Time to mine
> No it's time to VIVA
> You are Head Revolutionary
> KILL ALL 5 HEADS (holy shit fully populated round!)
> Go to mining
> Get enough points for stims
> SHAKING BEGINS TIME TO VIVA.
> Flash cargo tech, rush to HoP afterward
> CMO in line up? Flash drag into cargo and then into space.
> toss CMO's cold dead corpse into space
> Raid arrivals
> Flash a few people
> Go back to cargo
> Kill the QM
> Wild CE appears in cargo, trying to tile me to death. Soap of death leads to their downfall
> Go to engineering with newly found Engineering Access
> Flash atmos tech
> Go to xeno bio
> BUST WINDOWS IN
> flash flash flash
> HoS appears , Pretend to back out into maint only to rush back in and disarm and steal e-gun
> Xeno bio team swarms HoS
> I drag their beaten body into space, In the radio "You are all my meat puppets."
> take id, go to sec airlocks
> Stun captain and security
> Drag into space , almost lose them but 2 swift shots stun them and they float into space
> Stun captain one extra time for assurance.
> See perma has prisoners, Promise to return and free them, VIVA!
> Bust into perma after recharging a few e-guns and stun guns
> Give prisoners guns after ensuring we're all VIVA
> Perma is shutter locked
> Slide around EVA to the perma window
> Sec guard, Warden and Detective eyeballing perma cells. "You are fodder for my slaughter" Cryptically said towards them.
> Drag sec guard into space after a quick stun
> Break window and begin shoot out with warden and detective. Detective escapes.
> they run away after ammo runs out
> Unlock perma and free the viva
> warden and detective come back... To a swarm of e-guns and tasers.
> Sec is now over run (Bonus points : saved Head Rev miner!)
> At some point Xeno Bio viva overwhelm the RD
> Final head at the bridge
> RALLY ALL VIVAS TO ME
> Rush into bridge, quickly shotgun cowardly detective who abandoned sec and HoP before they can even retaliate with bean bags
> BASH BASH BASH with pickaxe
> REVOLUTION HAS SUCCEEDED

[Ikarrus]

Why do wizards rounds make far better changelings than actual changelings?

>Wizard takes mindswap and spawns three mindswapping apprentices, I am one of them
>Gotta steal the nuke disk, easy!
>I get on station, swapped to the HoP in the halls.... got seen by a doctor
>Cause confusion by screaming that the doctor is a changeling who stung me
>Swapped to the doctor in the confusion, sneak away
>find another braindead doctor in medbay, swap to him
>Captain and security are buzzing around in the bridge and brig. Can't even approach them as they have become very paranoid.
>Straight jacket myself before finding another officer wandering the halls
>Swap to him, kill old body and stuff him in a locker
>Find another apprentice in perma. We exchange codewords
>Sneak him out in a body bag
>Captain calls out wizard in the dorms, calls for help
>I respond first with straight jacketed and prisoner-co-apprentice in tow
>Prisoner mindswapps to captain, just as an engineer walks in and sees it
>Engineer starts to cuff the now wizard-apprentice while he's still unconcious
>I remove my headset and mindswap with the engineer
>Captain-apprentice gets up, stuns now officer-engineer, and we both kill all witnesses
>HoS finally walks in. Asks captain for the code word. He's hesitant to get near us
>I, a mere engineer now, calmly walk by him on the way out
>HoS walks into disposals, I walk in after him and MINDSWAP
>We kill the HoS-engineer. Space all the bodies with the mass drivers
>Station is in total utter chaos with the shit we all pulled. Shuttle is called
>People are PDAing me their codewords the original HoS set up
>One guy, former-officer-swapped-into-doctor figure out I'm a fake and try to kill me.
>I have him arrested with the full force of a loyal security team
>Captain finds his codeword still stored in his PDA, along with our objective, the nuke disk.
>We take the dead apprentice (The original one that was fighting with the captain) to get cloned
>On shuttle, I get a seat next to my original body, who was formerly the HoP, and is wearing the HoP uniform again
>Before we land I whisper "By the way, HoP, I want my body back if you don't mind"
>All three apprentices survived and we have the nuke disk

But the wizard supposedly died to a mindswapping bug so RIP

[IcePacks]

>join
>ur da traitorer
>five ais
>hack them all to kill everything

pretty much all that needs to be said here

[bandit]

There was a cult on station. I signed up as HoS. Here is what happened next.

The staff managed to stop the cult!
Cultists escaped: 0
The cultists' objectives were:
Objective #1: Make sure at least 15 acolytes escape on the shuttle. Fail.
Objective #2: Sacrifice Mayan Pete, the Juggernaut. Fail (Gibbed). (lol)

The cultists were:
FishoftheDerp was Russel Krieger (died)
Thecoldbard was Eliot Matthews (died)
NegaShadow was Dan McNeely (died)
HansDampf was Tristen Winton (died)
Mad Mat was Max Lazer (died)
UtterNewbie was Kade Shaffer (died)
Achery was Issac Clank (died)
Firefox42 was Tina Lynx (died)
Eggheaded was Sebastian Pratt (died)
HappyMacabre was Shade of Ivan Denisovitch (survived)

[Mandurrrh]

>Decide to make larger than max cap bombs in toxins and figure out best recipe.
>spend three days working toxins
>Begging Admins to come on every round to test another few bombs
>Stalk down the great freakym to pick his brain and compare all my current results.
>Senpai helps me work through everything I've figured out so far
>waxonwaxoff etc
>Mfw make a 10 20 41 toxins bomb
>Muh spessmen great accomplishments after hours and hours of hard work, toxins and math.
>feelsgood.jpg
>Do happy dance


Take that Cuban Pete. Boom.

[Kuraudo]

> Start as Cargo Tech. We have one QM and several other cargo techs.
> Station is slowly going to shit like always; Admin event: Fighting tourney in dorms. WTF ?
> Autolathe hacked. Cargo Points are starting to go up.
> Fellow Cargo crew order shotguns, one Cargo Tech brings the russian revolver, we manage to open the crate.
> We start discussing about the opportunity of becoming the independant nation of Cargonia.
> I bring a recharger and order a crate of eguns and armor.
> Arm myself like a motherfucker.
> HoP forgot his ID in the console: All access for Cargonia
> At this point we have everything we need
> CARGONIA DECLARES INDEPENDANCE
> We are recruiting more and more people
> Cargonian clown brings HoP locker, Cap locker: I choose the most useful item of them all: Cap's headset.
> Smile at how Sec seems uneasy with this over radio. Some of sec want to attack us, others don't see the point.
> Start propaganda over our own comm console. Brag about how powerful we are, insist we are peaceful and never attack anyone. Brag about big stompy mech. Lie about us having pulse rifles.
> Sec start crapping their pants. They prepare their attack anyways. We prepare ourselves for a welcome.
> Sec first wave of attack. Things get serious when they start using lethal means. We respond: They get wrecked.
> Battle became known as Cargonia vs Brigandia's cowardly agression.
> We become ultra-cocky on comm console: Brag about having zero casuality on the war but can't count the bodies on Sec's side.
> After some time Sec attack again with two big stompy mechs spawned by admins as a reward for the fighting tournament. No mention of the mechs in sec radio before.
> Cargonian start dying during the attack. We fight bravely.
> I fight a mech head on, manage to inflict some damage before being cut by bullets
> Big smile on my face as everything turns to white: Lived as a Cargonian, died as a Cargonian.
> CARGONIA !