Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

EndgamerAzari · Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:21 pm

Bottom post of the previous page:

PREPARE FOR DRUNKS

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:24 pm #129665

Overnights at my store are nothing but drunk ass students, it fucking blows. This job would be great if it wasn't for all the fucking customers.

actually that is a lie, it sucks regardless

EndgamerAzari · Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:25 pm

Wyzack wrote:This job would be great if it wasn't for all the fucking customers.

Retail.txt.

Screemonster · Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:32 pm

I landed christmas AND new years day on my rota, that'll be fun.

(actually it'll be pretty chill 'cause I get double time and I'm not likely to have to actually do any work)

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:32 pm #129669

clerks.mp4

If I had to deal with all the fucking mouthbreathers non-stop without a break, I'd put my head in the deep-fryer......balls too.

EndgamerAzari · Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:53 pm

I had to work on Thanksgiving two years ago, when I worked as a catering delivery driver at Boston Market. SO MUCH GRAVY.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Oct 26, 2015 9:05 pm

Just finished my second day at the Disney Store. Almost broke down and cried because the children were just so nice! They actually helped pick up after themselves.

And there was a raffle for a limited edition die-cast General Grievous, that I didn't get to participate in because I as working! Bah!

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 5:23 pm #130025

Just binged watched Rick and Morty season 2.

The ending FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Gonna fucking blow waiting for the next season

EndgamerAzari · Tue Oct 27, 2015 5:25 pm

OLD RIIIIICK
RUININ' EVERYTHIIIING

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Oct 27, 2015 5:36 pm #130030

Holy fuck rest of the season was amazing though

EndgamerAzari · Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:04 pm

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT

Maccus · Post by **Maccus** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 6:28 am #130139

See, I lucked out on dat retail life. My store has multiple locations, so if I don't know how to handle/don't want to deal with one problem, I just send the customer to one of the other locations "because they specialize in it."

I've literally done it in front of the manager and she didn't stop me. It's probably a matter of time before the guys from the location across town realize I'm the reason they get ornery customers, though.

EndgamerAzari · Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:03 pm

Delegation* is the key to success.

*Making someone else do it

So, since my previous diet failed, today I'm starting Weight Watchers. I'm at 236 pounds right now, 18% body fat. Hoping to get back down to around 210.

420weedscopes · Wed Oct 28, 2015 5:39 pm

>dad sends me five texts asking me to clean the kitchen
>i cleaned it 9 hours ago
>when he was here
>it's still spotless

thanks for believing in me, dad

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Thu Oct 29, 2015 5:04 am #130397

I had this bag of animal crackers and got tired of eating them.

Then I bought a thing of cheese spread and I've been scraping the crackers in the spread.

Holy shit this is delicious.

I'm running out of spread.

invisty · Post by **invisty** » Thu Oct 29, 2015 7:16 pm #130523

The female flatmate comes home last night, while I'm watching that fantastic SJW episode of southpark on TV, eating dinner, and immediately labels me as "rude" for watching [her] the TV in the living room.

The irony is not lost on me. She's been really cranky in recent weeks, but maybe it's just a period thing...

EndgamerAzari · Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:03 pm

wew lads

I just got done with a phone interview for a position at the University of Nevada Las Vegas. I think it went pretty well, though I had to spin some bullshit about supervisory experience and dealing with problem patrons out of thin air.

I'll know if they're gonna invite me to an on-campus interview tomorrow.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:28 pm #130546

Man like 90% of applying for a job is coming up with flimsy justifications for why your shit covered their needed experience

asskek · Post by **asskek** » Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:41 pm #130549

im pbanned again

asskek · Post by **asskek** » Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:43 pm #130550

Wyzack wrote:Man like 90% of applying for a job is coming up with flimsy justifications for why your shit covered their needed experience

just pull a terbs and lie
lying is 100% healthy
i assume this is after the fact though
did you land the job?

EndgamerAzari · Fri Oct 30, 2015 2:36 am

I put out a big bucket of candy for the town's trick-or-treat tonight and when I got back from the gym the whole thing was missing. I really hope it was some hungry homeless person that took it and not some jackass. I'm sad now.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 7:11 am #130633

Fuck yes the commissary has started stocking egg nog

My fucking favorite part of the winter.

Though, for some fucking reason, none of the mcdonald's in this shit hole of a state carry egg nog shakes, which is the only reason I go

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:13 am #130637

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:51 am #130643

TheWiznard wrote:
Takeguru wrote:Fuck yes the commissary has started stocking egg nog

My fucking favorite part of the winter.

Though, for some fucking reason, none of the mcdonald's in this shit hole of a state carry egg nog shakes, which is the only reason I go
wait wait mcdonalds sells egg nog shakes??

Back in NY they did.

I always assumed they just existed everywhere

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 7:52 pm #130739

Takeguru wrote:Fuck yes the commissary has started stocking egg nog

My fucking favorite part of the winter.

Though, for some fucking reason, none of the mcdonald's in this shit hole of a state carry egg nog shakes, which is the only reason I go

Fuck you I can't drink egg nog due to horrific suffering from lactose intolerance. I deal with milk based dairy like an autist with change. Can still eat cheese and yogurt mostly alright though.

Maccus · Post by **Maccus** » Sat Oct 31, 2015 4:03 am #130799

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Sat Oct 31, 2015 6:16 am #130814

Ricotez wrote:also WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT USE PROTECTION SERIOUSLY WHY THE FUCK

It was kind of a spontaneous thing. We were watching some shitty Halloween romance movie on tv. Had my hand up her shirt fondling her tits. One thing lead to another and before I knew it we were making love on her couch. I think I'm good though. She had some tests done on Wednesday and I guess the doctor said it was inactive or something? Like her body had cleared it out during the acute phase or some shit. I'll probably still get tested when I get the chance.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Sat Oct 31, 2015 6:23 am

Maccus wrote:[youtube]j0sJqhW9v54[/youtube]

Pretty sure the Geneva Convention banned psychological warfare like that.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sat Oct 31, 2015 11:38 pm #130914

Two and a half hours until my eight hour stint in hell begins. Hope everyone is having a pleasent spoopy holiday, pour one out for me

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 12:07 am #130922

Jacough wrote:we were making love

Look at this romantic sumbitch.

I'm sure you paused the film to put on the Manilow and light some candles before progressing any further.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 1:59 am #130941

>Watched some kid walk up to the house across the street, grab the table candy bowl, and dump the entire thing in his bag

The cheeky little cunt

Gave me a fucking laugh though

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 8:10 am #131000

An0n3 wrote:
Jacough wrote:we were making love
Look at this romantic sumbitch.

I'm sure you paused the film to put on the Manilow and light some candles before progressing any further.

Didn't go quite that far but yeah she loved it. It's funny because I don't really get much out of sex. I guess it's because I'm on a really high dose of lexapro but my dick is desensitized as fuck. I can pop a boner practically on command no problem but when it comes to getting off I need to be at it for at least two hours at a time. I rarely bust a nut, I mostly just have sex to express my love and desire to please the girl I'm with.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 8:10 am #131001

Oh god because of the time change it is actually 9 hours. 3 to go. Please kill me

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 4:06 pm #131042

>zombie dick mechanical fucking just to make someone else happy
>"making love"

Just don't tell her you call it that and you'll be okay.

Post by **oranges** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 8:20 pm #131075

Takeguru wrote:6'6" and 200 even, at last weigh in.

I feel like a rail even though I know I'm not.

you're also a fucking giant, it's not often I meet someone 2 inches taller than me, do you do autographs?

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 10:09 pm #131096

No, but I'm willing to stand back to back for photos.

Some girls can wear my shoes over their own as I wear size 15/16, depending on brand.

Remie Richards · Sun Nov 01, 2015 10:13 pm

jfc you have big feet.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 10:16 pm #131099

Yes

You know what they say, though

Big shoes

Spoiler:

Remie Richards · Sun Nov 01, 2015 10:19 pm

Haha, touché.

asskek · Post by **asskek** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 10:24 pm #131102

I thought you would say big fucking dick

Post by **oranges** » Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:03 pm #131109

that's the joke terbs.

420weedscopes · Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:00 am

i spent like two weeks on this because the footage was recorded at the wrong res and everything fucked up
i'm sure when i get better footage of different shit i'll make these faster
[youtube]rFbuZAuyCpg[/youtube]

asskek · Post by **asskek** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:34 am #131146

whenever I'm about to do something utterly disgusting like eat a slightly bruised banana or drink from a two-day old unsealed water bottle, I think of what guerillas and us soldiers in vietnam had to do

asskek · Post by **asskek** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:35 am #131147

oranges wrote:that's the joke terbs.

I know I just wanted an excuse to post

Post by **oranges** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 2:10 am #131152

I love you too

asskek · Post by **asskek** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 3:12 am #131160

ily2

now get loller to unban me

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 4:00 am #131175

so apparently over the month of november my dorm complex is going to be playing a massive game of "assassin," which is basically "humans vs zombies" but they named it assassin because for some reason everybody fucking loves assassin's creed where i live.

at any rate, if you aren't in the know of how this shit works, basically its one person starts as the first "assassin," gets a "target," and must "assassinate" them, in this case by touching them with a plastic spoon. if you get "assassinated" you become an "assassin" yourself and get your own "targets." this continues until one person is left and is named the "master assassin."
however, you are immune to "assassination" if you:
-are visibly carrying a plastic spoon of your own
-are in "vulnerable" areas (showers, toilet, lecture halls, etc)
-are in your dorm room

...

-ARE IN YOUR DORM ROOM

jesus christ deez niggas got no chance, i have a single-person dorm and im always in it playing spessmen; its not like anyone ever comes in or says hi or anything either so its gonna be super obvious that someone is targeting me if they start trying to get all buddy-buddy

s-see mom! being weebshit pays off...!

asskek · Post by **asskek** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 10:33 am #131211

but deitus, that's no fun

I did something like that in highschool senior year.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 10:41 am #131212

Go steal all of the plastic spoons and make a necklace out of them.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 5:05 pm #131242

DemonFiren wrote:Go steal all of the plastic spoons and make a necklace out of them.

thats actually a fucking awesome idea since there's a rule that if you break the spoon someone is holding its not longer valid. ill make two bracelets to be extra safe. ill try to whip something together and post pics when im done.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 5:31 pm #131245

Well, if you're like me and have access to plexiglass, you could just be wearing an encased spoon instead.