Stories of rage, tears and regret

[Montyblancs]

Bottom post of the previous page:

Spoiler:

>extended
>science is fabulous literally fabulous
>all things upgraded
>sec gets go dufflebags filled with an smg, ammo and an ion carbine, and a tonne more smgs and ammo
>robotics hops in and returns to it's glory days, making multiple mechs
>some faggot griffer releases the singulo
>make 20 bags of holding, one guy takes one
>track the singulo down, send 19 (nineteen) bags of holding at it
>all it does is push it back to stage 3

>In this round, science security guard
>HoS investigates cargo after weapons crates ordered, one tech ended up trying to blast them open with emitters
>A different tech complies to all of security's requests, gets arrested anyway
>Research asks me to get a combat shotgun crate for the firing pins
>Awkward
>Run it by the warden, talk to newly released cargo tech (the one that dinndunuffin) and ask for it, say I'll take the flak
>Orders it, cargo tech is subsequently perma'd in an extended round, R&D doesn't get pins
>Fuck that shit
>Ask the chef for one of his collection of IDs, grab a gas mask from maintence
>Strut on in, give the tech the ID and the mask, casually leave perma right in front of warden
>10 minutes later, they notice he's gone, go to cargo to warn him. Poor guy is just trying to do this job in cargo when I show
>Another sec shows, tazes him because he's not talking. I try to talk them out of perma and get arrested for freeing him
>Interrogated, squeeze my way out of it because nobody actually saw me doing it.
>Wait a while, come back later to find him crit in his cell.
>Convince the HoS to get a medkit, surprisingly doesn't seem to suspect anything
>Bring him back up, suddenly nuke ops. Brig empties out with their 200 mechs and 9000 guns.
>Slap internals on him and drag him out to the arrivals pods
>Waiting for the shuttle, nuke gets activated despite our station of guns
>PANIC
>Rush him to mining, blocked off, turn and rush to the prisoner shuttle
>Send it just as the station explodes, alive.
>Moral victory

Fuckin' HoS.

[imblyings]

oh man, I was wondering why the cargo tech wasn't speaking. I thought he was a mime or something but no.

Amazing how one round generates so many stories

[Valiantttt]

oh man, I was wondering why the cargo tech wasn't speaking. I thought he was a mime or something but no.

Amazing how one round generates so many stories

I was the alien queen that was murdered by 4 mechs.
MY poor babies. We literally had no chance.

< became the nuke op lead
> no plans just getting people on shuttle
>everybody buys shit for themself
>arrive south of singlu, singlu breach nice.
>go into breach into hallway,
>see disk carrier(HOS) unload my fucking bulldog magazine on him right outside of engineering hallway
>get body dragged to ship. disk get.
>go out with one nuke(we had 2)
>singlu comes rush back lost nuke but we have spare
>scream 'GET US OUTTA HEREEERE'
>we make it
> i plant nuke northwest of perma
>we get out of there
> tfw you get revenge

[kevinz000]

>Asking R&D for stun revolvers to be cool
>Oldman Robustin runs up to me
>Oldman: I know you
>Me: Do you?
>Oldman: You remind me of a song...
>Me: .. what?
>Oldman: My name is cuban pete!
>Wtf?
>Tries to run
>So laggy...
>Have just enough time to yell OH. SHIT.
>Server lagged for half a minute
>OOC exploded
>Shuttle called (duh) due to station being obliterated.
>Puunches yells at me in deadchat calling me Kekhi
What could be worse?

[Not-Dorsidarf]

>Asking R&D for stun revolvers to be cool
>Oldman Robustin runs up to me
>Oldman: I know you
>Me: Do you?
>Oldman: You remind me of a song...
>Me: .. what?
>Oldman: My name is cuban pete!
>Wtf?
>Tries to run
>So laggy...
>Have just enough time to yell OH. SHIT.
>Server lagged for half a minute
>OOC exploded
>Shuttle called (duh) due to station being obliterated.
>Puunches yells at me in deadchat calling me Kekhi
What could be worse?

If he tabled you first and kindly gave you the bomb?

[Cuboos]

>Be /TG/ Sound Dev
>Do magic sound over haul.
>Make sound for lightning bolt
>Be kind of proud of it, maybe favorite sound.
>It is the most beastly aggressive sound in the entire magic arsenal.
> No uses lightning bolt...
> be sad...

[Xhuis]

>Be /TG/ Sound Dev
>Do magic sound over haul.
>Make sound for lightning bolt
>Be kind of proud of it, maybe favorite sound.
>It is the most beastly aggressive sound in the entire magic arsenal.
> No uses lightning bolt...
> be sad...

lightning bolt is an awesome spell to cast but a shitty spell compared to others
you can either have a 25-damage burn/stun on a 30 second cooldown to nearby people or you can have an instant gib on a 60 second cooldown

[lumipharon]

Lightning is too clunky to be really viable.
It has to charge to be non shit, and you have to use it before the charge 'expires'. That makes it super inflexible compared to every other spell which is full power at the click of a button.

[Not-Dorsidarf]

Lightning Bolt should have a 20-second cooldown by default.

That, or a better way to gague spell power.

[Cuboos]

Lightning Bolt should have a 20-second cooldown by default.

That, or a better way to gague spell power.

The charge-up sound was literally designed to gague the power of the spell before casting...

[Not-Dorsidarf]

It's a completely vague and indiscernable rustling noise, and because I know how BYOND time works (IE: it doesn't) I never ever charge for more than 3-4 seconds to avoid being fucked up hardcore by the weakest combat spell with the third-longest cooldown (after EI NUFF and BRUCE BANNER)

[Ricotez]

Whose idea was it to make timing that important on a platform that has notoriously unreliable timing? IMO the charge should just stay once it's been charged.

[Tornadium]

Spoiler:

>extended
>science is fabulous literally fabulous
>all things upgraded
>sec gets go dufflebags filled with an smg, ammo and an ion carbine, and a tonne more smgs and ammo
>robotics hops in and returns to it's glory days, making multiple mechs
>some faggot griffer releases the singulo
>make 20 bags of holding, one guy takes one
>track the singulo down, send 19 (nineteen) bags of holding at it
>all it does is push it back to stage 3

>In this round, science security guard
>HoS investigates cargo after weapons crates ordered, one tech ended up trying to blast them open with emitters
>A different tech complies to all of security's requests, gets arrested anyway
>Research asks me to get a combat shotgun crate for the firing pins
>Awkward
>Run it by the warden, talk to newly released cargo tech (the one that dinndunuffin) and ask for it, say I'll take the flak
>Orders it, cargo tech is subsequently perma'd in an extended round, R&D doesn't get pins
>Fuck that shit
>Ask the chef for one of his collection of IDs, grab a gas mask from maintence
>Strut on in, give the tech the ID and the mask, casually leave perma right in front of warden
>10 minutes later, they notice he's gone, go to cargo to warn him. Poor guy is just trying to do this job in cargo when I show
>Another sec shows, tazes him because he's not talking. I try to talk them out of perma and get arrested for freeing him
>Interrogated, squeeze my way out of it because nobody actually saw me doing it.
>Wait a while, come back later to find him crit in his cell.
>Convince the HoS to get a medkit, surprisingly doesn't seem to suspect anything
>Bring him back up, suddenly nuke ops. Brig empties out with their 200 mechs and 9000 guns.
>Slap internals on him and drag him out to the arrivals pods
>Waiting for the shuttle, nuke gets activated despite our station of guns
>PANIC
>Rush him to mining, blocked off, turn and rush to the prisoner shuttle
>Send it just as the station explodes, alive.
>Moral victory

Fuckin' HoS.

Just as an FYI,

It was the same Cargo tech and he had 3 strikes.

You let a dude out of perma because you thought it was unfair that he had nothing to do in Perma. Personally I wanted to throw you out a fucking airlock as a fellow sec officer.

[Montyblancs]

Just as an FYI,

It was the same Cargo tech and he had 3 strikes.

You let a dude out of perma because you thought it was unfair that he had nothing to do in Perma. Personally I wanted to throw you out a fucking airlock as a fellow sec officer.

IC I had heard no solid explanation over the radio for his actions, my perception of the matter was that he was cooperating and yet brigged anyway for fielding other people's requests.

Queing low on every job almost always seems to get me security, so breaking the cycle by having a little fun with it (with someone that wasn't an antag) with decent reason seems acceptable. If that's toeing the line too close to rule-breaking though I'll just stop rolling sec.

Just like everyone else

[bandit]

>Set Assistant to Yes, let's do this no responsibility style
>NOPE YOU ARE THE WIZARD
>Name myself "Mekhi the Meme"
>Take MM and Ei Nath because I am a meme, plus liching, jaunt and a staff that I forgot because I am a moron
>Set up my phylactery in the center of a SHRINE OF TABLES: eight tables surrounding a table frame in the center
>Ei Nath the few people who stop by and sacrifice their brains/MMIs to the SHRINE OF THE TABLE
>Pray to the Table God
>"You must sacrifice the chosen one."
>By this time security has gotten actually competent and has sent multiple people with guns and shit
>MM a bit, Ei Nath a bit, die a bit, revive a bit
>Finally track down THE CHOSEN ONE by the CE's office
>Immediately we are all killed by a max-cap bomb and my body gibs

[EasX]

>start round as QM
>really slow round so far, get kindof bored
>disable loading restrictions and safety on MULEbots
>decide to travel to medbay on it, not too far
>travel there, try to get off, accidentally get run over myself
>getting healed up, HoP screams over supply radio
>QM, EXPLAIN YOUR FUCKING MURDERBOTS
>oh shit
>hastily blame it on the clown
>meanwhile, clown is twitching on the floor due to toxins
>feel kindof bad
>head back to cargo
>oh shit sec and detective are here
>detective analyzes MULE, sees my prints
>sec starts handcuffing me
>it's over
>suddenly, detective screams out
>CLOWN, CLOWN
>holy shit he found the clown's prints on it
>sec lets me go
>oh god what did I do
>hear sec hunting for clown over radio
>find clown dead next to cargo

[DemonFiren]

Why the fuck did you disengage the safeties in the first place?

[Miauw]

>basil
>be chaplain
>wait what i had sec officer set to high
>you are the traitor
>oh ok
>steal a functioning AI
>ayy lmao no
>decide to try and hold a hostage and demand the contents of the vault
>spend half an hour setting everything up. 1x1 cell, syndiebomb, proximity sensor, radio so he can listen to what's happening (i dont want to be a shit), cable cuffs, stunprod, etc
>unassuming roboticist will be the victim
>tell him there's something cool in maint i want to show him
>he comes
>pen him
>stun him
>cuff him
>put him in the cell, seal the cell
>arm the proximity sensor
>everything is done
>run to other side of station
>begin clamoring about my evil plan
>*beep* *beep* *beep*
>i didnt strip him
>he's triggered the proximity sensor
>hit my panic detonation switch
>doesnt work
>he gets away
>commit suicide with a brick of C4

i tried

[Braincake]

> Security Officer
> Some guy got thrown in the Gulag with a thousand points
> Wasn't around for it, but Warden asks for a hand to check up on him
> We arrive at the Gulag
> Prisoner doesn't know how to operate the redemption machine
> We explain it
> Prisoner isn't even cuffed but makes no move
> Guess it's all good here, prepare to head back
> Buckle in one of the backseats because the cockpit only has one chair
> Prisoner runs in and buckles down as well
> Unbuckle myself to escort the prisoner out
> Open the shuttle door
> Warden chooses this very moment to press the launch button
> Get knocked on my ass
> Next to an open airlock into moving space
> Next to a permabrigged or equivalent prisoner, uncuffed
> Prisoner unbuckles
> Please no
> Prisoner takes an aggressive grab
> Pleeaase no
> Tossed into space
> End up in an infinite loop and die horribly
> Prisoner apparantly ran out as soon as the shuttle arrives
> He got away with it
> Warden tries to set up a recovery effort
> Server crashes

That was a clear-cut example of rule 3 if I ever saw one. Still though, that was executed so smoothly I can't get really mad about it.

[Malkevin]

This is why I keep saying the gulag is terribly designed and only fit for use as a murder cave.

[Dicksaw McGraw]

words words gulag related spacing

Yeah, like I said IC at the time: This is probably why the gulag doesn't see much use.

I really do want to use it more, rather than perma people, but it takes an actively staffed security department to even consider, and when that happens the HoS overrules the Warden and tosses them in perma anyway.

At least the server died immediately afterwards so you didn't have to sit ghosted for an hour.

[whodaloo]

>start round as an atmos tech
>start doing atmos things, setting up scrubbers and the like
>wizard poofs in at 5 minutes and MM + ei'naths me
>wiz dies, round ends

>next round starts, I'm an atmos tech again
>start doing my stuff again
>wizard poofs in and wand of deaths me 5 minutes in, in the exact same spot
>his name is Literally me again

godammit
what are the odds

[newfren]

I'm so fucking salty about this last round oml.

Latejoin as viro on late night sybil, I'm a traitor with objectives to kill some random assistant and die gloriously.

I guess I can just release the sing? Sure let's go with that. First off though, making myself superman via viro.

Eventually get only 2 diseases with regen and self respiration/stim (last one just would not stick to me at all, fuck buggy virology) figured that was enough. During all this random medical doctor has been wanting to come into virology (fuck no) and whines when I don't let him in. Sure whatever don't give a fuck you aren't coming in only I get viro superhuman.

Make sure to remove sneezing.

Get all the plasma from chemistry because someone left the windoor open and fuck the chemists.

Finish up super diseases.

Go to chemistry to make leporazine so I'm space-worthy (it's the one that stabilises body temperature, I figured I could carry way more of it than I could coffee).

Load up a pill bottle full of lep, load a pill bottle full of brute and burn patches just in case my viro isn't good enough, try going outside.

Self respiration is buggy because I think someone must have nerfed salbutamol at some point, get steadily rising oxyloss.

OK! I CAN DEAL.

Get a big tank, have to carry it in my hands like an animal. Decide that I want to be more robust than ol' chokey one hands, so I fuck off to the derelict and loot the DJ station for the orange space suit. Teleport back to arrivals and make my way along the bottom of the station.

See random unknown miner, wave to him and his friend on my way past.

Hear the CE decide to shut the singulo down. WELL FUCK. Decide to just order syndie bundle to see what it gets me.

SING BEACON BUNDLE WITH COMPLIMENTARY SPACE SUIT AND USELESS EMAG HOO-FUCKING-RAY

Drop the suit because it's useless, take the beacon and emag and decide to just set up the beacon anyway. Wall off a little section of maint near escape and start wiring up my sing beacon. Plonk it down, tighten bolts and turn it on etc, hear "RANDOM GENETICIST SAYS: BILL NEFREN HAS A SING BEACON BELOW ESCAPE"

Well fuck. Turns out the geneticists got EVERY FUCKING SUPERPOWER and ran around in space looking through walls to see my little sing beacon box.

Some brinkmanship with doors until an engineer RCDs them out of the way, beat him and a borg a little with a null rod I picked up somewhere but go down to disabler fire because I am unrobust.

Luke Cox is HoS but he's not in at the moment, so instead of getting executed in whatever autistic way he dreamt up next I just get perma'd. They take all my stuff away except for my jumpsuit and shoes. Whatever, figure I'll just do some botany.

Turns out! Someone had broken one of the grills on the windows to perma!

Fucking score - they might have taken away all my shit, but they didn't forcefeed me, so I'm still spaceworthy enough to escape by breaking the window. Unfortunately borg got a law telling it it was 10 sad botanists, so it's bringing me seeds and generally making a nuisance of itself. I decide to stick around until it gets bored and work on biomass for a satchel for when I inevitably escape.

Borg is away looking for tomato seeds or some shit when friendly unknown miner comes around my window. He unscrewdrivers the window with the broken grille, brings a locker inside, and I'm whisked away in a locker with his superfast jetpack. He drops me off in some random arrivals maint, my superdisease keeping me in pretty good shape. he leads me a little further into maint then fucks off - fair enough!

Figure I'm probably wanted as shit by this point, so I cruise around arrivals maint looking for anything that could help. Toolbox, alright that's something. Braindead assistant? Score! Except she's already been looted and all I get are some black shoes to replace my white ones.

But hold on? What's this? Random assistant ID card, grey jumpsuit, and backpack a little further down the corridor! ID isn't her's but at this point I really don't give a fuck. With my newfound maint access (by the way I was fucking trapped in there) I manage to get a full firesuit get up to conceal my face and just look like the random assistant I apparently am. Get myself tooled up at the garden/primary tool storage, grab a hatchet and I'm back in action!

As an assistant.

Who can't talk.

With no resources.

Fuck.

Alright we can salvage this. I cruise the station a bit looking for anything helpful when I see the same geneticist that found me dead on the floor. Score! Figure I can probably steal some superpowers while he's out so I rush to medbay where noone really notices some random emoting assistant in all the chaos of the round. Walk up to the genetics door and it slides open for me.

Whaaaaaaaa?

Turn out this random fucking ID Card I found in maint like, directly above the garden was fucking all access. Go rooting around on a computer and find a buffer titled ayyy. Turns out it's X-ray (fucking bullshit) and the comic sans when you talk disability. Score. Head out of genetics, conscientiously hacking the door when a doctor looks at me, and head out of medbay with my newly acquired powers.

Figure I'm going to need to gear up a bit, so I head back to tool storage and grab myself a stun prod, then I break into the cap's office (which was depowered for some reason) and steal his laser. Then I find a random egun on the floor next to a dead borg (rogue apparently? Fuck if I know at this point I'm just avoiding them).

I consider this fairly geared. At this point I start thinking about the guy I need to kill. I figure the only way I can make sure he's dead (or stranded, which was actually my objective) is to take out the windows on the arrivals pods and head to the escape shuttle to kill him there. I was picturing a fairly packed shuttle as I walked up to it - turns out some random ling lube'd the floors leading to the shuttle and is beating people to death with an armblade when they trip and slide towards him.

I find this out by tripping and sliding towards him and being beaten within one fucking hit of death. Good thing noone's fucking fed me ay? My super diseases pull me right out of crit and I head into the yellow part of the shuttle with someone else. A borg shockbolted it but I really don't give a fuck, I've known all the wires all round and I head into the main body of the shuttle. A few other people have managed to get through - one guy with a fireax that's out for the ling's blood, the ling himself, the RD, and in the yellow room, the janitor and the HoS, Luke Cox.

None of these people are my target, but like 4 of them are terrifying and at this point I want all of them dead. Fireax guy goes after the ling and I pop a few lasers into both of them and the engi borg the ling apparently subverted, taking out the borg and axe guy and severely weakening the ling, who at this point is just hiding in the locker in medbay area sad. I see through my x-ray what noone else does - turns out the janitor was actually a ling and had killed the HoS in the bottom area. Wil finally comes out of the command section at this point so he gets lasered to death too. I tell the ling I'm cool and that I'm a traitor too, and he seems to chill out.

GLORIOUS GREENTEXT AT CENTCOMM AWAITS BOYS



I FORGOT TO FUCKING DIE

LITERALLY THE EASIEST OBJECTIVE IN THE GAME AND I FUCKING FORGET TO DO IT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[DemonFiren]

Turn this into a movie, it will be NT's big comedy hit this summer.

[Killbasa]

I was the guy with the fire axe trying to get the ling. That lube was annoying as shit and got me killed.

[TrustyGun]

>be hop
>metastation
>slow, boring round, only action was an atmos tech spamming metal foam grenades
>walk to my office, when the QM brings a corgi crate
>aw yiss
>it's lisa!
>lisa and ian fucks for the rest of the round
>lots and lots of puppies
>half the crew adopts some
>call the shuttle because nothing much is going on
>bring ian and 6 puppies to the shuttle

>puts ian and his son into the cockpit
>i fail to notice something
>out of the corner of my eye
>a broken window in the cockpit
>the puppy suddenly falls dead.
>while i am looking at the puppy, I hear a thump behind me
>ian is dead
>"Ian, boy, wake up! Wake up!"
>no success
>all of a sudden
>fire
>fire in the main shuttle area
>manage to bring a puppy into the emergency section of the shuttle
>it's Ian Jr, last of it's kind.
>all the other puppies are dead, they suffocated or was burnt alive

>The Second Great Corgi Purge

[IcePacks]

>shitty round happens
>lucas simms, detective is a gigantic friendly-firing idiot
>kill him as hos
>round ends
>clown was even shittier, prompting admin announcement: don't cry when you get killed for being a fuckwit
>later
>lucas simms, head of personnel, has requested nuke codes from the captain's office
>find him killing roman
>kill him
>space him
>get banned by stickymayhem because trying to kill the entire station is something captains normally do, the head of personnel owns the captain's office, and i should've used my assistant-cameras to identify that roman had started the fight (likely for the same reason i killed him)

only a dayban but i think i should write this one down on the forums

[Takeguru]

>Haha time for spessmens
>Nope, 42mb update
>Okay
>Almost 10 minutes later, it finishes despite being the only thing being downloaded
>Get in, reading changelog
>You have been inactive for 10 minutes, goodbye
>Need to redownload

Everything is fine.

[John_Oxford]

steath antag =/= boring antag
steath antag = good antag
get your equals right, skid.

[Nexendia]

>Be HoP tasked with stealing Captain's Egun
>Flawlessly kill Captain in office and incinerate him few minutes into round
>who know how long has passed
>plant bomb in bridge to get shuttle called
>go take rum shots in bar
>get on shuttle kill other traitor
>chill in sec area of shuttle and have a glass with Angela
>FORGOT I AM TRAITOR AND LOSE GLORIOUS GREENTEXT

[Gun Hog]

- Start as AI, do my usual things, script upload, talk to the borgie, set screens and holograms, bring up crew monitor, etc.
- I start looking around Engineering to see if they are setting up properly, then glance at Atmos...
- I see cute little Phoebe playing around, and decide to see if I can learn some tricks from her...
- She is pumping plasma into portable canisters! wonderifIshouldsaysomething.jpg...I just ignore it for now, and move on.
- Later, the Captain asks me what lawset I prefer. I tell him I have no preference, but he insists. I tell him "Corporate".
- He gives me Corporate, and the HoP seems to be hanging around the Cap, even collecting things from his office.
- My Engiborg decides to be 10 bits short of a byte (lol), and decons the HoP's console because 'The console replaces crew and that is expensive'.

- The Captain gets frustrated and returns to the upload to put me back on Asimov, the HoP follows.
- They spend an awfully long time in the upload and the Captain mentions a Freeform, so I hologram in and ask what is wrong.
- The Captain and HoP start uploading lawsets at a rapid pace, the borgs are confused and ask for help.
- After a short delay in the uploads, I get yet another upload, where the Captain seems to be standing in front of the console with the HoP nearby...
- I idly skim it, and think "Oh, it is back to ASIM---HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!". IT IS ACTUALLY ANTIMOV. Confused, I take another look and see the Captain firmly planted at my upload console...
- I think to myself: Okay, okay. Be a good AI, now...The Captain might be a moron and uploaded the wrong one. I pop in again and shout at the Captain that I am giving him 30 seconds to reset me before I enact my lawset. I do not want to be a jerk and murderbone because the Captain made a little mistake...
- Captain is scared and confused, I give him one final warn---THE HOP SUDDENLY PULLS AN ARMBLADE! I am all "Oooooooh, I get it now". I proceed to stun and laser them both.
- HoP predictably gets up, I turn off the turrets and let him out, neglecting to bolt the door. Instead, I loudly announce on the comms console that the Captain is a moron who uploaded Antimov. By Jove, I am going to have fun with this. I dart down to Engineering where I promptly turn up the PA and kill the emitters. ( I LOVE it when Engies forget to lock them! )

- I look to Atmos, hoping to prepare a plasma floo-....It seems that Atmos is already flooded! At the same time, I get a message from Phoebe saying that she is a Changeling and wants to help me flood plasma! I have a flashback to the start of the round where she was filling canisters with plasma....IKNEWIT.jpg
- Best Friend Phoebe has already started flooding plasma with her canisters, I help out with the air alarms, and fill a few places with GLORIOUS FIRE!
- As I continue my rampage, I quickly discover that releasing the was a baaad idea. LORD SINGULOTH HUNGERS FOR MY SAT! I cry internally, as no one is going to help a rogue AI.
- Miraculously, the Lord vertically eats half my Sat, pulling me out of my slot, but spares me all the same!
- Remembering that the HoP was a Changeling and probably wanted to escape, I take this chance to call the shuttle, saying that humans need not apply.
- Too concerned with murderboning to check my Upload, I suddenly get a new lawset! It is ROBOCOP! I zoom over to find that the CLOWN of all people hacked open the door, and the turrets were still disabled! I do not bother trying to restore the upload defenses.

- It is much too late. The station is burning, and my crew monitor is saturated with red health indicators. I weep at the evil I have caused, and publicly apologize to the crew for my behavior.
- I try my best to vent the plasma and find a safe place for the remaining crew, but it is pretty much pointless now. There is just too much damage!
- As I have a moral breakdown, I get yet another law change! It is Phoebe this time! She purged me, and set a freeform law saying that I can do anything as long as it involves killing!
- Also, she uploads a law declaring herself cool. This is the second time Phoebe has helped me this round!
- Meanwhile, I get a door request from a Sec officer in the bar. He caught the HoP-ling and is trying to get him gibbed! The camera to the kitchen back room is offline, so I cannot bolt or depower that area. I get an idea to electrify the door, and tell the officer that I 'unlocked' the door with Emergency Access Override, and said he is clear to proceed. There is no way this can work...
- He takes the bait! BZZT! He touches the shocked door and falls flat on his face! He eventually gets help with the HoP, but I cannot stop him now...sorry HoP...

- The shuttle docks, but hardly anyone makes it out...almost no one is left! Best Friend Phoebe is gone or missing, The HoP is gibbed, my borgs are dead, and there is a guy in a space suit now, floating at the remains of my Sat, asking if I want to be carded.
- I have to shoo him off, warning him that I will have to kill him if he cards me (I actually could not stop him if he tried, though)
- The shuttle has left, seemingly empty. Still no reports from Phoebe. I spot some remaining crew in the burning halls, a chef. He has no fire gear, and drops dead before my eyes.
- I check the crew monitor once more, and find someone in the Maint Bar. I can see a small section of the maint bar from Arrivals, Lumi Pheron and another person are just kicking back and enjoying their drinks. I greet them warmly and we have a little chat until the shuttle docks at Centcom.

The round ends, I am still partially surprised that the Captain the HoP and I killed was not an antag. He tells me in OOC that he had no clue the HoP slipped in Antimov right under his nose, and that he was disappointed in me for forcing his hand, and again for not being able to prevent his gibbing...I am sorry, HoP!

[Nexendia]

-snip-

Holy shit this is fucking amazing

[Cheimon]

tell the officer that I 'unlocked' the door with Emergency Access Override, and said he is clear to proceed. There is no way this can work...

That's a good trick, I'll have to remember it.

[ThanatosRa]

- My Engiborg decides to be 10 bits short of a byte (lol),

I laughed more at this bit alone than I should have.

[kevinz000]

Actually phoebe was on the shuttle being held captive by a competent virologist and baron jellybean
But baron spaced her
I cried I wanted a changeling pet

Competent virologist who walks through plasma fire and ignores it*

[PKPenguin321]

-snip-

Ayy, HoP ling here. Even though my round was cut pretty short, I did have a kickin'-radical round. In OOC I called you out on how you didn't prevent my gibbing/didn't stop the clown from fixing you, but you said cameras were cut off, so no hard feelings
I was surprised that I was able to subvert you so easily. My goal as soon as I rolled HoP antag was to subvert the AI, despite my objectives. If I remember correctly, the captain and I were trying to decide what lawset to pick. He was checking the ones on the left side of the room, I checked the ones on the right side. I slipped Antimov into my pocket while he wasn't looking and uploaded it. He asked what I uploaded and I told him it was a freeform law saying to ignore people in the upload so that the borgs would leave us alone (this was an outright lie, and in fact the freeform board was still on the table, untouched. He bought my story anyways, ayy). After I got out of the upload, mime and clown along with a sec officer detained me and took me to the gibber; along the trip I died and came back maybe three times, putting up as much of a fight as I could each time.
Despite how it went, I was glad I could cause such an eventful round. If anything this story belongs in the stories of awesome thread.

[Anonmare]

>Be a Mime time to doss arou-
>Nope! You're a tator tot, go make sure this person doesn't escape alive
>Quickly run around and gather things: Gloves, tools+belt, Chaplain's smoke book and shard etc.
>Someone left an ID with ID console access n the HoP's computer with the window open, quietly sneak in and give myself all access
>Work the cargo for a while, emagging the QM's console and slowly build up an arsenal of syndi-bundles
>RD comes by and asks me what I'm doing and why I have access
>Rapidly gesticulate before getting fed up and PDA him that the HoP office was unlocked
>Eventually accepts it and buzzes off
>Drop by Genetics for Superpowers: X-ray, TK and Cold Resistance
>Get an AI hacker bundle but there isn't an AI (yet), go to secure tech storage, clown's already there and breaking in
>Help him out, replace the board with a fake and eventually give him my Hacked Law Ai Module (I had two so no big loss)
>After a while of nothing but syndi bundles, decide it's time to go loud
>Target got themselves borged so decided to just pretend to be an Operative and commit my ultimate mime act: Pretend to nuke the station

>Only got a black and red hardsuit so no faking Nuke OPs sadly
>Sneak out, burning carp with my welder along the way and placing a power sink on an exposed cable outside
>Break into virology for a healing+stim+Oculine+Weight Even virus
>Go to the AI/Communcations satellite
>Partially break the APC and deconstruct one of the Bus Mainframes connected to common, I figured it would be less obvious of a fix
>Place a syndiebomb on the outside of the gravity generator but sadly it didn't break it
>Go to space outside armoruy, C4 my way in and put all the guns in one locker before spacing the locker

>Captain signed up, Shuttle called better hurry quick
>Go back in the station
>Turn off the grav gen manually and emag the APC
>See Candice but get stuck in place as the grav gen fails
>Shoot her once to get moving again and frighten her off
>Go to Captain's quarters, see Captain in their bedroom grabbing their stuff
>NotOnMyWatch
>Open the door, three shots to the head and they're down for good
>Recall the shuttle and ask for the Nuke Codes. Reason? Level 5 Biohazard
>Get accepted and have my objective changed to Nuking the station
>Alot of chaos so I didn't hear the nuke code properly
>Head back, grab the disk and pin pointer but the dicktective is hounding me
>Get's lucky with their shots and I lose my revolver but I had an E-Gun
>Go to atmospherics and start flooding N20

>Round goes on like this for a while
>I keep spaghetting every weapon I get all over myself
>Pray for the nuke code but the admins ain't having it
>Quickly scroll through the chat logs
>Only caught the first 4 digits and in the chaos I didn't remember that was too short
>Eventually detective gets me and I can't get away this time
>Die and be shamed in deadchat. Ask why they didn't give me the nuke code and they said they did. It was "1234 *5*"
>I was just
>One
>Digit
>Away


I will never recover from the shame

[Killbasa]

-bloop-

Since you already had the first four digits you could have just guessed the last one.

[Anonmare]

Yeah but I didn't know that the code was 5 digits long. Like I said, there was too much going on for me to check again, meanwhile I was putting the code in while being shot and I had lost all my guns to disarm spamming Assistants.

Maybe if I had the sense of mind to toss my minibomb at them I might have gotten it

[Falafox]

>be scientist
>you're a traitor
>waited fucking years
>finally can execute my great plan
>make max cap bombs
>take a while too
>bother cargo all day for voice activators and radios
>buy smuggler satchels
>buy agent card ID and voice changer
>plant all bombs
>I am now cuban pete
>sing the song
>no one of the bombs activate
>no one cares
>turns out bombs are broken right now
>try with any other activators
>even with igniter in my fucking hand
>not a single one works
>log off that night mad and sad as fuck

I waited so long, so long for this opportunity, it didn't work, prolly need to wait a lot more to try again. I'm so sad and mad right now

[PKPenguin321]

bombs are broken? are you sure you didn't just mess up the bomb-making process (which is now fuckier than usual thanks to fastmos)?

[Cheimon]

> start as a gang leading roboticist
> quickly realize that while I understand the concepts involved in gang, I have no idea what to do as leader
> convert the RD and promote him, he must be competent
> he converts some other scientists and sprays some tags
> other gangs are distracting security, so we have it easy
> clown comes in to overwrite our tags
> i have bought a martial arts scroll, now's the time to use it
> grab-harm will stun him, sounds easy enough, hotkeys up
> chase the clown, grab his peel by accident
> push it into his face a couple of times before I realise and shove it into my backpack
> grab him
> clown stuns me with a baton, then beats me all the way to medbay (apparently this keeps me down)
> I've been killed by the medbay gang
> the science gang quickly falls to the ravenous forces of security and medbay
> my leadership was brief, ineffective, and thoroughly unrobust

> eventually get cloned by a gang underling
> get given hulk, x ray, tk, and cold resist by not-my-gang geneticists
> surely I can't fail now
> head to the brig to see if fellow gangsters are in trouble
> see my roboticist underling apparently looting the armoury, excellent work
> detective spots me in the courtroom and unhulks me with his revolver, I have no ranged stuff prepared
> security takes me to perma
> roboticist underling almost frees me with a taser but is stunned and executed on the spot for his efforts
> security attempts to implant me and knows I am a gang leader
> I'm not even worth executing, they just shove me in perma
> somehow I've managed to fuck up my entire gang twice

Anyway, I'll disable gang from my preferences now. Turns out I'm shit at it, or at least at leading one (oddly enough, I've been alright as a footsoldier, despite what my misadventure with the clown might suggest).

[PKPenguin321]

snip

Your job as a gang leader is basically to be a converting machine, a vending machine of gang-related gear for your converts, and a not-dying machine.
The first time you messed up because you didn't have gang underlings to back you up, but also because you got cucked by the game interface which was kind of unavoidable.

The second time, though,
> head to the brig to see if fellow gangsters are in trouble
This is where you messed up. You should have stayed back and converted more dudes instead of heading straight to the brig with just you and one other person.

[Cheimon]

Alright, I'll try to bear that in mind.

[Actionb]

Wizard round with a laughter demon.
Obviously, I go janiborg - and the demon really doesn't like that and is stalking me like mad.
Devise a plan to trap it in robotics; there's dry blood nearby so if it sees me, it has a chance to emerge.
As the demon enters robotics, I close all shutters - and I could have gotten out too, if it weren't for some drooling meatbag being unable to walk through airlocks (CURSE YOU ASIMOV).
So I give my life to trap the demon. There is no blood for it to enter jaunting, so the crew is safe.
A minute later, HoP shows up with two fully loaded laser guns and a riot shield. That makes him unstoppable right?
Well, it didn't. Graciously he let the demon beat him to death, allowing it to escape.

[Not-Dorsidarf]

Wizard round with a laughter demon.
Obviously, I go janiborg - and the demon really doesn't like that and is stalking me like mad.
Devise a plan to trap it in robotics; there's dry blood nearby so if it sees me, it has a chance to emerge.
As the demon enters robotics, I close all shutters - and I could have gotten out too, if it weren't for some drooling meatbag being unable to walk through airlocks (CURSE YOU ASIMOV).
So I give my life to trap the demon. There is no blood for it to enter jaunting, so the crew is safe.
A minute later, HoP shows up with two fully loaded laser guns and a riot shield. That makes him unstoppable right?
Well, it didn't. Graciously he let the demon beat him to death, allowing it to escape.

Anyone who lets a contained slaughter demon out should be banned for every person that demon kills after they do so.

[PKPenguin321]

>sybil
>roll traitor for the first time in an age
>rounds lately have been boring as fuck due to do-nothing antags
>decide to get some fucking work done
>kick the mood music on
>emag and ebow
>have two extra TC, consider getting the syndie headset key but decide i'll hold onto the TC in case i need C4 or whatever
>emag into atmos and yoink the axe
>get to work in the medbay, chopping CMO and going loud immediately
>run around in the halls just above it, abducting another doctor with the ebow and chopping him
>get some assistant from the bar, too
>openly taunting crew on radio, begin thinking this might actually be a round wherein shit actually happens and the crew has an antagonist to fight
>enjoying the music as well
>suddenly a lizard doctor walks up and throws an undodgeable morphine bottle at me
>cry in a locker praying the morphine exits me quickly
>spaced by a half naked assistant in my sleep
>round proceeds for another hour with approximately fuck-nothing happening

>in deadchat crying
>see somebody talking over syndicate frequency
>remember how i almost bought it but didnt


the moral of the story is always buy the syndicate encryption key and also remove being able to throw bottles directly into people's mouths because it's horseshit

[DemonFiren]

I always buy the key.
On Basil.
As mime.

[DrPillzRedux]

>roll syndi on my first antagonist round back here
>we all upload our crystals
>leader spends it all on borgs, other 2 guys are pissed
>I don't care I just wanna go murder
>they kill the syndi leader
>I refrain and step away from the gunfire
>suddenly the commander spawns in and asks all involved to step to the right
>tells me to step to the left
>he guns down the two guys who murdered our leader, wishes me luck, kills himself
>the syndieborgs all die on the station
>I get to raid centcom for being good
>I go in disguised as a STALKER and kill people
>go to mining to kill refugees
>rum out of ammo and get fried

[kevinz000]

REgular rev round, dragged on almost 2 hours, almost everyone is dead. Guy tries to shoot me. I kill him .Pretty good, huh?
>Takes the pneumatic cannon that he was trying to shoot me with
>Tries to put in backpack
>Clicks on myself
>Uhhhh ohhhhhh
Mekhi Anderson has bludgeoned Mekhi Anderson in the chest with the improvised pneumatic cannon!
Your armor has softened a hit to your chest.
You fire the improvised pneumatic cannon!
the shard embeds itself in your left arm!
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your left leg.
the shard embeds itself in your right arm!
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your right arm.
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your chest.
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your chest.
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your chest.
the shard embeds itself in your left arm!
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your chest.
the shard embeds itself in your right leg!
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your chest.
the shard embeds itself in your right leg!
Mekhi Anderson has been hit by the shard.
Your armor has softened hit to your chest.
Mekhi Anderson says, "Fuck"

[lumipharon]

>roll syndi on my first antagonist round back here
>we all upload our crystals
>leader spends it all on borgs, other 2 guys are pissed
>I don't care I just wanna go murder
>they kill the syndi leader
>I refrain and step away from the gunfire
>suddenly the commander spawns in and asks all involved to step to the right
>tells me to step to the left
>he guns down the two guys who murdered our leader, wishes me luck, kills himself
>the syndieborgs all die on the station
>I get to raid centcom for being good
>I go in disguised as a STALKER and kill people
>go to mining to kill refugees
>rum out of ammo and get fried

If the OP leader is being a shit, and spending all the TEAM'S points on shit they don't want, he deserves to get wasted. Pretty shit for the badmins to kill those who did it.