Human Fortress 13, Masterwork edition

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 5:02 pm #107568

Bottom post of the previous page:

So we have two choices for our melee fighters at our shiney new garrison building. They can take guardsmen training, which costs 2500 gold and gives them a slew of benefits right away such as increased bravery, physical stats and combat skill learning speed increase. They can also become squires which is free, but has very few immediate benefits. After a few months they become a knight, and after a year they become a paladin. Overall the benefits are far greater but it is an investment of time. I post here becasue i am curious what Galv and Anon3 want for their dudes.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:08 pm #107579

Here are two pictures showing our current holdings and the progress of the moat construction

South: http://i.imgur.com/nHLkzDJ.png

and North: http://i.imgur.com/8wxuhVN.png

The moat is nearly ready to fill with water, and in the south picture you can see the beginning of the military garrison. A new trade depot will be constructed near there, and one of the cannons moved to the second floor along with some fortifications and a barracks so there will always be troops nearby in case of emergancy

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 6:55 pm #107584

Squires, long term is worth

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Jul 27, 2015 7:22 pm

Squires fo' sho'. THERE'S NO EASY WAY OUT!

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:00 pm #107607

We did it folks

http://i.imgur.com/b4iHTzZ.png

We are the proud owners of a big old pile of muskets, all we need now is a few folks to shoot them. We got 3 new migrants in a wave, all female and with no combat skills. I am setting one of them as a hunter to get some skill with the musket, as well as to obtain some leather so we can make quivers.

Anon3 and Galvatron have both been sworn in as squires, and the actual guardhouse is still under construction.

We found a vein of gold, which is being processed and smelted so that we can mint our own coins and dont have to sell all our metals to get cash. Scones convinced sticky to invest in a smithing guild next so we can get some steel and better melee gear, so a second level is being added to the guildhall.

It is a good time to be in Souldefences, all we need now is more migrants

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:12 pm #107608

Well that was certainly the fastest i have ever had a vile force of darkness show up

http://i.imgur.com/rk1f11m.png

Apparently some fucking frogpeople thought we would be easy pickings for some reason. The moat is not yet filled with water completely, and they can probably swim anyways. The alarm is sounded and everyone is corralled into the dining hall except Galvatron, Anon3 and Eponymous, who is sent to man the cannon. This is going to be interesting

tedward1337 · Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:16 pm

Awh fuk yis

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:24 pm

Tonight we dine on frog legs!

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:31 pm #107614

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Gonna writefag it up a bit i think.

The alarm rang out from the half completed guardhouse. Djingle Django noticed it first, a squadron of squat frogmen in the distance. The moat was still filling, and it probably would not stop these creatures anyways. Everyone filed into the dining room in a panic, with the exception of 3. Galvatron and Anon3 stood in front of the doors, the former staring in disbelief at the latter claiming that he needed no weapon with a menacing crack of his knuckles. Eponymous stood at the cannon, a slap happy grin on his face.

The creatures came in a slathering horde of horrible flabby green bodies. As soon as they rounded the corner a blast rang out. The cannonball went a little wide, but the blast was enough to destroy one of the creatures entirely, small froggy chunks raining all around. a few of the creatures were ahead of the pack, and that turned out to be a huge fucking mistake.

The two soldiers sprinted forward. Galvatron sliced the limbs off of one even as Anon3 worked his kung fu magic, beating a frog into submission before snapping its leg. The frogs had only copper weapons, unable to do much more than cause nasty bruising. However one of them managed to knock Galvatron down and get a good hit on her head, giving her a mild concussion. She responded by cutting the bastard in two with a single strike.

This display of pure ferocity was too much for the diminutive creatures. They fled to the north, tripping over each-other in an attempt to escape the wrath of the two humans. Souldefences holds, although we kinda need a hospital pretty bad now

Attack logs

http://i.imgur.com/fSZdvp2.png
http://i.imgur.com/drYSQSV.png

The aftermath

http://i.imgur.com/N1pLv3i.png

The black shit is ashes from the cannon explosion

Good fucking god that was a close one, i thought we were all fucked.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:40 pm #107617

In the aftermath of the surprising attack life begins to return to normal. Some of the gold is minted into coins, the guild and guardhouse continue to be built, and Stickymayhem finally gets the damn tomb he had been complaining about for so long.

Anon3 is granted a pair of Iron ass kicking gauntlets so that next time he can get a couple kills

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Jul 27, 2015 10:42 pm

Wyzack wrote:and Stickymayhem finally gets the damn tomb he had been complaining about for so long.

Can we shove 'em in there now? Wasting our resources with 'muh tombs'.

Post by **lumipharon** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 11:17 pm #107623

Can we make frog hats or something out of the corpses?

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 1:53 pm #107775

We get another handfull of migrants, among their number are Robert Cop, Oranges, and Mister_Doc. Robert is immediately appointed leader of the first squadron of Souldefences musketeers, and is given command over a few of the fortress rabble as our first musket militia. Mister_Doc is another musclegirl with good combat skills, so she is squired and put under Galvatron's command. We have a decent military now!

tedward1337 · Post by **tedward1337** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 2:31 pm #107778

Freeze, crime.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 28, 2015 2:35 pm

tedward1337 wrote:Freeze, crime.

Spoiler:

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:49 pm #107801

Azari you never posted so i forgot about you, you are on the next wave i suspect.

We got our first artifact, and it is actually pretty cool

http://i.imgur.com/iW77fST.png

I guess the attack of the frogmen inspired him to create a diorama of another confrontation in which a human settlement was attacked by badgerpeople. This is a placable statue, so i was thinking we could maybe set our sights on building a church next. I like making them classic cathedral style with gem windows and a high ceiling, and we could make a statue garden in there to get people to congregate. The added bonus is that we could throw up some altars. Preists can curry favour with the gods through sacrificing material goods, and can then grant us boons from time to time.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:51 pm

It's cool, I'd probably best for an administrative or manual labor role. Not much interesting I can do.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:54 pm #107803

A caravan from the homeland shows up, and we haul some coins and other shit over to trade for much needed leather to make quivers for all those muskets. At the same time a pair of kobolds shows up. Leave it to fucking Oranges to shoot one of them in the dick.

http://i.imgur.com/D2T7MYM.png

The fucker escaped, but you can bet your ass they will not be sending more thieves any time soon

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:57 pm #107805

There was a third lurking around, and Anon3 got to him. This guy was not so lucky

http://i.imgur.com/UnKEzLv.png

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:59 pm

>Shot in the ass twice
>Legs ruined
>Almost lazily beaten the shit out of

Jesus Christ.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:12 pm #107809

Liasons came by again to inform us that we are now a county, despite have jack shit in terms of population. Gonna start crafting with some of our extra gold to get that worth up. Another housing building enters construction, and the smiths guild is beginning to be developed pending creation of more coins

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:23 pm

Nothin' but good things happenin' to this site, yes sirrah!

(I think we're going to need more soldiers soon.)

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:55 pm #107819

A handful of migrants arrive. Two (including the now arrived Azari) are squired and drafted into the military, two others are added to the ranks of the musketeers.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:58 pm

IMMA B A PADALIN

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:08 pm #107822

Okay here is my dillema. We almost have a cruicible, which means we can make steel. I can either outfit our troops now with run of the mill weapons, or i can wait for the advanced forge to make zwiehanders, poleaxes, and other xbox huege no shield killing devices. Discuss.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:12 pm #107823

A succubus showed up to try and steal our kids or some shit. She was immediately shot like 4 times and then Anon3 ran over and executed her via falcon punch

http://i.imgur.com/OQi7Fqh.png

The freedom is palpable in this place, time to make more guns

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:13 pm

Just outfit the troops with average stuff right now, later on we can outfit the best troops with tacticool armor or whatever.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 28, 2015 6:26 pm

Agreed, but I want to eventually be kitted out like this:

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 7:50 pm #107839

Our second year here in SoulDefences is drawing to a close as winter approaches. The swamp is slightly chilly this time of year, but not enough to freeze the water.

Some random got taken by a mood and created a fucking guitar covered in spikes

Once we get a tavern built we can actually have people play it to give buffs to the fortress.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Jul 28, 2015 8:15 pm

Wyzack wrote:a fucking guitar covered in spikes

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 10:47 pm #107879

The sweet ass axe was lost when a crash made me have to rollback a few ingame days, he made a brazier the second time around. laaaaame.

Stickymayhem is literally making mandate after mandate for more torches. We have a shitload of them now. I guess it is useful if we ever decide to explore the caves, but other than that they kinda lay around in piles. Maybe he is afraid of the dark?

Anyways the first floor guardhouse is done

http://i.imgur.com/t6WysdF.png

The office and stuff are Anon3's. For some reason the human sheriff does not head a military squad like the dorf captain of the guard, so Anon3 is second in command of the Roomy Habits. Might give him his own squad of badass punchers later on. The stairs on the left lead to the dungeon, the ones on the right lead to our vault coin storage.

As per my last two games i also can post your character's page on request

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 10:52 pm #107881

For some reason Scones made this weird fucking statue of stickymayhem

http://i.imgur.com/OJBINLJ.png

For reference, Giant Olms are nasty blind white lizard creatures that live in the caverns. Scones confirmed for creating scaly statue smut

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:01 pm #107882

Ding ding ding, invasion number 2 is here

http://i.imgur.com/hTr353x.png

This time it is a bunch of weirdo fucking monsters called Dark Stranglers

http://i.imgur.com/vkK18pM.png

Time to put our riflemen to the test

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:07 pm #107883

The mob of slavering beasts chases a poor fishery worker around the garrison, where our soldiers await to unleash a massive can of whoopass

http://i.imgur.com/1t9YFF1.png

It is about to go down

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 11:18 pm #107887

That was actually pretty surprisingly a complete massacre. They mobbed our melee fighters, but the barrage of bullets kept them on their toes, and after a few of them were killed the rest took off running. Anon3 cracked a few skulls with his flying haymakers, Galvatron was slicing off limbs left and right. Since i was waiting on steel to make more weapons Azari was swinging a copper buckler taken from a dead frog, and mister_doc was punching. Our other random squire's only combat skill was biting, and they literally did nothing the whole fight but bite a dudes nose off

http://i.imgur.com/xN70V4C.png

not very chivalrous if you ask me

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 12:20 am #107894

Some migrants have arrived! Among the bunch is Tornadium Axonium, single father of two girls. He and one other are squired an drafted. We finally have a decent stockpile of steel, so Scones takes a break from carving smut to forge some nice weapons, and more gold is piled into the smiths guild to upgrade the facilities. This just in, apparently Takeguru and Stickymayhem are romantically involved. Man these humans really breed more than dwarves. Takeguru is now a legendary lumberjack from comiting large scale tree genocide of the surrounding area, as is Djingle Django. Loraydrel has been excavating more precious minerals as well as carving out a small dungeon below the guardhouse. Epnoymus Rex has been making some mechanisms to set up cage traps in the surrounding area. Now that a nice bunker has been set up for the cannon he might actually get to use it a bit. Lumi has continued his academic pursuits by making the fortress some much needed soap. Everything is going pretty well right now, the stranglers are butchered and will make some nice shoes and quivers.

Post by **lumipharon** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 2:16 am #107940

Jesus Christ, our melee guys are savage as fuck.
What kind of squire bites a monster's nose off?

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 3:35 am #107973

"As per my last two games i also can post your character's page on request"

I would like to see Djingles pls (maybe if not too much work show/tell me what I'm good at right now too?)
things are looking good, every time I see the logs about an0n3's haymakers it makes me chuckle.

srifenbyxp · Post by **srifenbyxp** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:07 am #108015

Sticky is getting DP'd by Olms

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:16 pm #108147

Here is Djingle's profile:

http://i.imgur.com/xVy93zr.png

And here is his skills:

http://i.imgur.com/qfN3Z3T.png

Bonus snapshot of the bloodstained ground. Essentially Djingle is a huge gnomaboo engineer, but became a ledgendary lumberjack because initially we needed a lot of woodcutters and he stepped up to the plate. He has also designed all our drawbriges and made a pile of mechanisms

EndgamerAzari · Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:29 pm

Lemme see what kind of anacephalic simpleton I wound up bearing my moniker this time.

Also, >fighting with a buckler

I NEED NO WEAPON, GIVE ME ALL THE SHIELDS

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:46 pm

EndgamerAzari wrote: I NEED NO WEAPON, GIVE ME ALL THE SHIELDS

One in each hand, one more on the back. Tri-wielding shielding.

The bolder can wear two more like ski's. Quint-wielding shielding.

EndgamerAzari · Wed Jul 29, 2015 5:52 pm

Just fuckin cover me with shields and armor and load me into the cannon.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 8:53 pm #108209

FILL THE MENAGERIES! BUILD THE LABYRINTH FOR THE MUTATED CHILDRED.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 9:59 pm #108229

Here is Azari

http://i.imgur.com/jFuE6AE.png

>Likes to consume liquid evil

Holy fuck masterwork can have some wonky preferences. Metal as fuck though, no one is gonna want to mess with our city.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Wed Jul 29, 2015 11:55 pm #108267

Wyzack wrote:Here is Djingle's profile:

http://i.imgur.com/xVy93zr.png

He absolutely detests mosquitoes

Awesome lol

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 2:56 am #108317

Elves came again, this time they brought another seige of stranglers on their tail:

http://i.imgur.com/svEBug8.png

Probably another sad attempt at making us not commit tree genocide to build houses. Bah, let them come. Lets see how these fuckers fair when our military is actually armed

EDIT: Sweet christ there is so many

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:03 am #108320

All of deez niggas

http://i.imgur.com/gMLbh4q.png
http://i.imgur.com/S9fG01U.png

First squad got shot a few times and took off running, which is drawing our fighters into the bulk of the horde with no way to call them off. Dis gon b gud

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:09 am #108321

First clash at the gate ends bloody for the beasts, with Anon3 delivering one of his trademarked asswhoopings, but more troops are on the way

http://i.imgur.com/vYnihWI.png

There is a lul in which our forces fall back to the more defensible bridge. Robert Cop and a few other musketeers apparently had no ammo, and decided our expensive muskets would make nice clubs. Remind me to make more fucking ammo

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:11 am #108322

Well it is over. The Elf liason's retuine killed all the war jaguars and a pair of stranglers, and the rest ran off. Next time they will find us with more ammo and better armor. Now there is the matter of dealing with the elves themselves.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jul 30, 2015 3:14 am #108323

I hate elves so goddamn much

http://i.imgur.com/0bAwaZn.png
What do you think, should we start shit with the liason and his trio of asskicking bodyguards?