/tg/Station 13

Crab People playable race when? They walk like crab, talk like people. They can only move forward and backwards, A&D rotate. Tank controls, like mechs. But they talk like people, with no buzzing or hissing or whatever.

They can't wield guns properly, their rate of fire is significantly reduced because big claws are not great at pulling triggers. They can hold stun batons just fine. Their claws by themselves do damage and cause bleeding, but can be used to hold people in place as well. And heir carapace can mitigate serious brute force, and they can't be pushed away or pushed through. All this would make them ideal Wardens or Head of Security.

HoS simulation: Because they have many legs, they are unaffected by lack of gravity as they can hold on to surfaces and objects to propel themselves easily. Their carapace is also space-worthy, they only need a mask and tank to go into space. They are Crab People after all, not mere crabs. That makes them suitable Engineers as well.

Engineer simulation: Because they are sorta like space-american-italians, they could be great chefs as well, making pizzas and stuff. Unfortunately I couldn't find chefs hat on wiki to make a proper simulation.

Chef approximation:
As you can see, Crab People are a breath of fresh air. They are not humanoids for starters, which makes them unique in itself. They are also not basically humans on fire, which is a huge win for everyone. Including your fucking lack of imagination.

Crab People 2016. Thank you. You can post other Crab people simulations below.

I'm going to figure out how to give a crab mob hands, then turn you into it when you least expect it.

This is just stupid enough to get implemented

We need this

Now THIS is quality shitposting

You think that's shitposting or a joke, but it ain't. I'm deadly serious. If you want snowflake races, make something fun and unique. Something that plays differently, something with its own set of pros and cons.

I'm deadly serious.

I'll take you at your word then, and address it seriously. In my opinion, all playable races should hope to fulfil two goals. First, that it fits with the setting in a creative manner. Second, that it has real pros and cons which leave humans as a still-viable choice. I reckon plasmapeople and slimepeople are the best at this, though I know you disagree.

So the first goal means either making something that fits with established ss13 lore (a plasma monster, a toxic slime hybrid), or the science fiction motif generally (fly hybrids, synths, though I'm not such a fan of either). The least good, setting wise, is a race that does neither. Normally that's Human + Earth Lifeform = Animalrace. Lizard People. Crab People. Fly People would be here but for 'The Fly'.

However, that can be redeemed if they're awesome enough at the second goal. Pros and cons. At its simplest form, with lizards, this is pros=more unique, cons=nonhuman. Lizards get racism as a con too, because arguably that wasn't good enough as a concept. With something more complex, slimes, you might get pros=poison blood, body switching, cons=medicine allergies, nonhuman, generic look. Plasmas get very little in terms of pros, but cons=burn in oxygen, uncloneable, breathe plasma, nonhuman. Unless you want 'cantina station' (nobody's human, everyone's a snowflake)

Your Crab People pros and cons are like this. Pros = spaceworthy, magbooted, armoured, knifehands, quickchoke claws, mech movement. Cons = fires guns slower, nonhuman (but impossible to tell at a difference). Who wouldn't want to play one? There's no downside! It reads like you're so enamoured with the concept that you're too afraid to make them face any genuine difficulties.

That's why people think it's shitposting. It's an overpowered animalrace being presented with amusing pictures, and a straight face. Deadpan humour. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

You forgot about the moving like a mech part, meaning any greenshirt with working pair of legs can just run away. Or circle strafe and toolbox to death. I actually thought it would be too big of a con in the first place, and you omitted it entirely.

add all the FTL races so we can have engi engies building autismforts and lanius driving all the atmotechs crazy

and the chittering shrieks of a million mantis assistants breaking stuff and never doing anything useful or productive

Lumbermancer wrote:You forgot about the moving like a mech part, meaning any greenshirt with working pair of legs can just run away. Or circle strafe and toolbox to death. I actually thought it would be too big of a con in the first place, and you omitted it entirely.

No, I put that as a pro. A big one. You're in any kind of narrow area, nobody's getting past you. You just throw things out of the way. Forget slipping or having to watch out in maintenance. Everyone moves away from you. Sure you can't turn as much, but for a lot of stuff that really doesn't matter. It's like having a nodrop riot shield, especially since your melee attacks will be omnidirectional anyway. In an airlock? You can block it totally by just existing. Moving like a mech is a big benefit in any situation but running away.

Mech melee attacks are not omnidirectional, though. You need to move and face the enemy.

Ah, I see. Still think they're very powerful for any non-combat job, then, which is most of them. So long as you can still face a narrow enough area, you're still good. After all, many mech users do very well with mostly punches, and like a mech crabs can use guns.

Coded: https://github.com/tgstation/-tg-station/pull/15594

Question. Do they taste like crab and talk like people?

kazeespada wrote:Coded: https://github.com/tgstation/-tg-station/pull/15594

A good first step.

ThanatosRa wrote:Question. Do they taste like crab and talk like people?

They taste like drone(totally not a drone in a crab suit), and talk like people.

This is an alternative species idea I can get behind.

Scott wrote:This is an alternative species idea I can get behind.

it's not a species, it's a reskinned drone

edit: wait i'm stupid you mean the thread topic not the actual PR

I read that as "cat people" and thought "hold on a minute".

FUND IT
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crab people, crab people, taste like crab, talk like people

I don't know if you're aware of this but having multiple crab legs wouldn't counteract antigravity.

As long as the meat can be processed into sea food and crab sticks (Space lobster females/Snowflake alt features like lizards?) im happy.

Just say that due to sea pressure, the crabs cling very tightly to the floor and have additional feelers/suckers to keep still in the face of space wind/antigrav/water.

Were these added yet

Best idea 2k16.


Crabperson inquisition when.