/tg/Station 13

Sometimes we make rage cages, and some times we hold cook offs and stripper rave parties in the bar or cargo. When admins aren't pressing buttons we're pressing buttons, in our hearts.

Let's list ideals that will we'll do when no admins are on for maximum griffage and release some pent up boredom among the crew when it passes that dreadful hour mark.


1. My famous laser grid rage cage with a twist! Of course I always make good on promises whilst I also promise to up the stakes and next time add super matter shards to the ring. And on the off chance cultist are on board I plan on having them fight security in full riot gear vs cult robes. Make it a fight for the ages.

2. Deconstruct Dorms/Bathroom/Gym into a demilitarized zone allowing all crimes which do not stick once they leave the DMZ. Any crimes out side the DMZ will be treated as such.

3. Make a trading booth from cargo's upper room in front of cargo/hop hallway.

4. Enforce new arrivals with a toll booth in front of locker room whilst asking random questions causing unnecessary delays and acting like lefonda talking to a co-worker while 15 grey shirts riot outside the toll.

5. As CMO list everyone on the station medically insane and refuse those listed insane medical treatment until they pass a psychological evaluation.

Called gimmicks fool, not player events.

Here is a few I have seen:

1. Turning the ai into the captain
2. Replacing all the tiles on the station with grass
3. Be a chemist and actually do your job!
4. As geneticist, turning everyone into the same person(rip god emperor of mankind disk)
5. As captain, do inspections of each department. Rewarding the best one with some kind of gift.

I used to name myself Magical Talking Closet and lockerweld id-lock myself inside one.

The entire crew would fight over me while I claimed I could grant wishes, then I'd monkey paw them into getting nothing.

When they finally cracked open there was just a screaming naked old man inside.

Be captain, claim you're a member of the NRA, spend all the supply points on guns and hand them out freely at the arrivals checkpoint, claim a well armed society is a polite society, Spout random gun rights propaganda over your announcements console.


I've actually done this, twice, A long time ago, it went exactly as you probably suspect it did.
Like summon guns, before it was a spell.

ThatSlyFox wrote:Called gimmicks fool, not player events.

says you

Nuke op hostage situation was good too.

>Get the free teleporter board
>Send a guy to hack the camera network
>Wait for the Captain to appear on the bridge
>Teleport through with the nuke
>Gun the Captain down, tell the syndiborg to force the upload open and subvert the AI
>Bridge lockdown
>Hold the station hostage for all the valuables you can carry while resetting the nuke as a failsafe in case you all die.
>Pray for Payday 2 music

Also fun is PIRATE CULT
>Get to the white ship
>Research safely
>Set up a teleporter room
>Plant rune in perma bathroom with one of the med hardsuits
>Teleport everyone in
>Swarm the armory, loot it
>Dock the ship at arrivals and swing in yelling yarrrgh while constructing everyone

>pirate cult steals the whole armory
>promptly attacks arrivals and loses to security

laughing_hos.NTpng

that was actually a pretty funny round though

Scones wrote:>pirate cult steals the whole armory
>promptly attacks arrivals and loses to security

laughing_hos.NTpng

that was actually a pretty funny round though

YARRGH HARRGH FIDDLE-DEE-DEE
WE ALL JUST WANT TO SUMMON NAR-SIE

Stickymayhem wrote: Also fun is PIRATE CULT

Get completely gunned down by security and lose.

I remember this, that security closed the brig "services" to watch the fight, thankfully you waited until the rage cage battle ended before getting your collective shit kicked in. I would had done crew vs cult death match with the losing side being de/converted to the winning side. Would had been more fun.

I hosted a drinking party in the captain's office once.

I kinda did something last night where I was a ling. I immediately outed myself to everyone who was cool with it before eventually the warden and I switched places.
After that, I began converting willing people into myself, as the warden, until about half the station was me. It's important to know the warden was a lizard too so I was de-humanising but the borg couldn't do anything because everyone I converted consented.
Except the CE but he tried to kill me so I claim that as valid.

I forced a shuttle call then snuck aboard through the side entrance and fought off about 5 people hacking the doors trying to space me and even spaced one of my attackers. I red-txted but I don't care, I had fun.

I like to make rage cages with environmental hazards, but I only have a few designs.

Sometimes I line the windows of the cage with shocked grilles. I've made this one a few times and it leads to pretty lethal quick matches, generally.

One that I've tested on a private server but haven't yet done on a live server is placing emitters intermittently on one end and consoles on the other (because consoles should block the emitter beams but not your vision, so you can still spectate).

One that you probably need to be an antagonist to do is just a plain and simple rage cage, but with a supermatter shard in the middle surrounded by four windows/windoors.

Ones that kill the contestants really often are generally more fun to watch but not as fun to fight in, and you'll probably have to be an antagonist and force people to fight to the death in them if you want to do them. Another fun one is a cage with a TTV in the center that runs on a timer and that only the referee can disarm.

Another one with the same principle as the TTV cage, but less explosion-y: A cage with an air scrubber that, once the match starts, begins slowly siphoning the air from the cage. Fight or die.

Cages with tables along the windows can also be fun but lead to stunlocky matches. Same with removing the shoes of the contestants and sprinkling the area with glass shards.

A 2v2 cage where they all wear electropacks and there's a spot in the center with a signaler for each person. The signalers are unlabeled.

I've seen a few scientists run a funny slime nomad event. They grow slimes until they obey their commands, then they grab tools and monkey cubes and move into the hallways where they feed the slimes, extract the cores with their tools and scare the occasional assistant who runs into them.