/tg/Station 13

Welcome to the Stat@#%@#%ase En@#%$@####

CONNECTION OPEN
BLUESPACE UPLINK ESTABLISHED
PING: 4654.77 ms

ATTENTION NANOTRASEN PERSONNEL
THE SYNDICATE IS NOW FIELDING QUESTIONS

YOU MAY DIRECT YOUR QUESTIONS TO REPRESENTATIVES OF A PARTICULAR SYNDICATE GROUP OR THE SYNDICATE AS A WHOLE.

STANDING BY

What happens to people who waste their telecrystals on ten soap

That depends on if they completed their objectives.

Why is your recruiting process for nuclear operatives so loose? It's like nobody has ever been in a military squad everytime I see them try to kill us on the station.

CYBERSUN INTERCEPTION: The Marauders run a lottery that includes everyone they have available, including kitchen and custodial staff. Those who are selected are sent out at gunpoint.

Why do your agents, even confirmed ones operating openly, never face any repercussions from Nanotrasen Command?

I mean, we could have the heads of security and personnel, plus the captain aware that Cindy K. Traitor is running through the halls, E-Bow in one hand, E-Sword in the other, murdering everyone and screaming "FOR THE SYNDICATE!" over the radio, but they show up for work the next day like nothing ever happened. Like Nano didn't even do anything.

What gives?

Why is it that the your nuke squads have jetpacks that are just as good as NT brand yet fit in an ordinary backpack, but you still sometimes ask me to steal jetpacks?

Dear Syndicate:

Please take this valuable information in exchange for not brutally murdering me for going AWOL.

""... therefore Nanotrasen employs the use of a Nuclear Quarantine an--[NANOTRASEN ENEMY COMMUNICATION INTERCEPTED SCRAMBLING SIGNAL. WIPING LOGS. DISPATCHING ERT TO SIGNAL SOURCE. THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING NANOTRASEN.] [END OF LINE]

Psyentific wrote:Why do your agents, even confirmed ones operating openly, never face any repercussions from Nanotrasen Command?

I mean, we could have the heads of security and personnel, plus the captain aware that Cindy K. Traitor is running through the halls, E-Bow in one hand, E-Sword in the other, murdering everyone and screaming "FOR THE SYNDICATE!" over the radio, but they show up for work the next day like nothing ever happened. Like Nano didn't even do anything.

What gives?

We suspect that Nanotrasen executes agents we hire, followed by cloning a backup copy made prior to us arranging a contract. Unethical and inhumane actions like these is why we want to get rid of the bastards.

Drynwyn wrote:Why is it that the your nuke squads have jetpacks that are just as good as NT brand yet fit in an ordinary backpack, but you still sometimes ask me to steal jetpacks?

We retrofit jetpacks you steal into the more convenient Jet Harness for our operatives. Modern jetpacks are much more advanced than they look at first glance: Since they need to be able to support a set of internals, they need special parts designed in such a way that they do not expose the lungs of the user to vacuums or hostile environments, even for a split second, and we have not yet managed to reverse engineer these yet. Stealing NT jetpacks simply saves us a lot of time while we figure out how to produce our own.

-Agent codename "Lancer"

Do you have anything to say about the rumors that Syndicate High Command and Nanotrasen High Command are really the same people?

Psyentific wrote:Do you have anything to say about the rumors that Syndicate High Command and Nanotrasen High Command are really the same people?

It's true.

Why don't we nuclear agents get to keep our last names?

Signed, Gabriel GAYFARTSNIFFER

WeeYakk wrote:Why don't we nuclear agents get to keep our last names?

Signed, Gabriel GAYFARTSNIFFER

Due to a clause tucked away in our meager employment forms which is really just a small man named Pat with a photographic memory all staff waiver rights to surnames, among many, many other things, in the event of a station-wide lottery, emergency, hostile invasion, or pot luck dinners.

Psyentific wrote:Do you have anything to say about the rumors that Syndicate High Command and Nanotrasen High Command are really the same people?

N-no

Sh-shut up

B-baka

No but uh we don't really have a High Command; we're a decentralized association of likeminded individuals seeking to end Nanotrasen's flagrant abuses of human rights, anti-competitive business practices, and other inhumane actions. Are some high-ranking Syndicate members also affiliated with Nanotrasen? Probably. They have no doubt learned enough to see that Nanotrasen needs to fall.

WeeYakk wrote:Why don't we nuclear agents get to keep our last names?

Signed, Gabriel GAYFARTSNIFFER

Th-those are CODE NAMES. You don't get to keep your first names either.

What sort of Benefits and Severance packages do the Syndicate have?

signed Eponymous Rex

Benefits:
Helping take down a tyrannical megacorporation
Freeing the galaxy from Nanotrasen's monopoly
Democratizing bluespace and plasma technology
3 months paid vacation each year
Full Syndicate dental (for all those syndicakes you might eat) and Syndicate legal team if you're taken to court
Lifetime guarantee of hacking NT databases to keep you registered for cloning

Severance:
Uhhh we're still figuring that one out. Most of us have sworn not to rest until Nanotrasen or we are dead, but I guess we could give you a bunch of money and a new identity if you really wanted.

Where do you get Ninjas from? And why don't you use them more often?

Space Ninja are Spider Clan contractors.

If you had to bankroll the greedy motherfuckers, you wouldn't use them often, either.

Pandarsenic wrote:Benefits:
Helping take down a tyrannical megacorporation
Freeing the galaxy from Nanotrasen's monopoly
Democratizing bluespace and plasma technology
3 months paid vacation each year
Full Syndicate dental (for all those syndicakes you might eat) and Syndicate legal team if you're taken to court
Lifetime guarantee of hacking NT databases to keep you registered for cloning

Severance:
Uhhh we're still figuring that one out. Most of us have sworn not to rest until Nanotrasen or we are dead, but I guess we could give you a bunch of money and a new identity if you really wanted.

That sounds Pretty Nice.

Why did you stop recruiting security officers for work?

We didn't stop recruiting them; Nanotrasen stepped up its security protocols. Loyalty-implanted personnel receive thorough background checks to ensure their lack of... prior commitments to us... and missing pets, friends, or family members... not that those would be related.

Why do you rat bastards always interrupt my research right as I'm finishing up?

Because your research is being used to keep the common folk down! Rise up against your Nanotrasen oppressors!

Can I have a cookie?

How much does the Syndicate know about the recently decommissioned CentComm Death Squads?

Brotinheyst wrote:How much does the Syndicate know about the recently decommissioned CentComm Death Squads?

Where do you think the good nuke ops come from?

Pandarsenic wrote:Benefits:
Helping take down a tyrannical megacorporation
Freeing the galaxy from Nanotrasen's monopoly
Democratizing bluespace and plasma technology
3 months paid vacation each year
Full Syndicate dental (for all those syndicakes you might eat) and Syndicate legal team if you're taken to court
Lifetime guarantee of hacking NT databases to keep you registered for cloning

Severance:
Uhhh we're still figuring that one out. Most of us have sworn not to rest until Nanotrasen or we are dead, but I guess we could give you a bunch of money and a new identity if you really wanted.

How long until the vacation time kicks in?

How does the teleportation of ones gear work? It seems a tad... Strange.

Also, why do you never send out people to recruit more, why do so many of your "spys" go loud the second they get on, thus defeating the purpose of being a spy, and why cant you just download the blueprints instead of having us steal them?

Have you ever considered that instead of wasting extraordinary numbers of personnel by doling out resources in small amounts daily, you should just throw it all together for one full scale invasion?

^^^ You haven't asked. Also, you still work for Nanotrasen during your vacation unless you get vacation from them on the same days.

^^ "The telecrystals use quantum entanglement to... fuck it man I don't know we didn't bring the scientists. And some of our spies aren't so clev-" "TIGER!" "Or they work for the Tiger Cooperative, yes."

^ One invasion of what? Nanotrasen's resources are scattered across the galaxy; if we had the numbers to take them in a war, we would. But we don't. Nobody does.

Why did you ask the CE to steal his own bloody RCD?

RogerWilco wrote:Why did you ask the CE to steal his own bloody RCD?

Why wouldn't we? We don't hire people to give them challenges, we hire them to do a job. Who can be more relied upon to acquire Rapid Construction Devices than the people who are supposed to use them?

-Agent codename "Lancer"

Well, thinking of it like that, why don't you just buy an autolathe and hack it for infinite RCDs?

This one wasent answered...

Why cant you just download the blueprints instead of having us steal them?

Why are the syndicate balloons so expensive. If TCs are so valuable that you cannot distribute more, then wasting ten on a useless, albeit manly, balloon is madness

Myroc wrote:

RogerWilco wrote:Why did you ask the CE to steal his own bloody RCD?

Why wouldn't we? We don't hire people to give them challenges, we hire them to do a job. Who can be more relied upon to acquire Rapid Construction Devices than the people who are supposed to use them?

-Agent codename "Lancer"

You fucking liar. Last week someone tried to steal the emergency shuttle. Why the fuck do you need an emergency shuttle? I can't imagine multi billion credit syndicate agencies need to steal low-fuel emergency spacecraft other than to be gigantic assholes and strand half of the crew on a station.

dear syndicate

how do you have such a crappy internet connection that has a ping of 43 seconds

AseaHeru wrote:This one wasent answered...

Why cant you just download the blueprints instead of having us steal them?

http://i.imgur.com/ltv7c.jpg

Stickymayhem wrote:Why are the syndicate balloons so expensive. If TCs are so valuable that you cannot distribute more, then wasting ten on a useless, albeit manly, balloon is madness

Summon Balloon is the official Syndicate equivalent of Summon Guns. Have you ever seen a station tear itself apart over one? They have PHEROMONES(tm) and no human can resist the mating call of the balloon.

paprika wrote:You fucking liar. Last week someone tried to steal the emergency shuttle. Why the fuck do you need an emergency shuttle? I can't imagine multi billion credit syndicate agencies need to steal low-fuel emergency spacecraft other than to be gigantic assholes and strand half of the crew on a station.

The shuttle has several other things of use - Identification codes we can use, navigation coordinates, and so on. Besides, sometimes we retrofit them to allow nuclear operatives to approach without being acquired by station sensors as an illegitimate entity.

Kraso wrote:dear syndicate

how do you have such a crappy internet connection that has a ping of 43 seconds

MOTHERFUCKER

WE'RE IN SPACE

DISTANCES ARE BIG AND LIGHT ONLY GOES SO FAST

It's only with bluespace relays that we're even able to communicate with you in our lifetimes at all!

Why is syndicate space right next to centcomm?

Pandarsenic wrote:

Kraso wrote:dear syndicate

how do you have such a crappy internet connection that has a ping of 43 seconds

MOTHERFUCKER

WE'RE IN SPACE

DISTANCES ARE BIG AND LIGHT ONLY GOES SO FAST

It's only with bluespace relays that we're even able to communicate with you in our lifetimes at all!

you go unexcused, nanotrasen always tells the station an electric storm hits it as soon as it does

>they never tell us on time when an alium queen appears

fucking centcom

When are you going to employ me again?

Also the Syndicate brand Changelings have gotten pretty weak lately, plan on giving them better training?

Question: Why do the NukeOpps team members often fight eachother?
Also: How are the NukeOpps teams able to use EGuns, which I believe have just been issued to Nanotessen stations in the past two years? You dont seem to send agents to collect them...

AseaHeru wrote:Question: Why do the NukeOpps team members often fight eachother?
Also: How are the NukeOpps teams able to use EGuns, which I believe have just been issued to Nanotessen stations in the past two years? You dont seem to send agents to collect them...

OOC but:

The first one is a bannable offense, I've literally seen someone get replaced by a ghost for shooting fellow team mates during nuke ops intentionally, unless you mean traitors in which case traitors aren't required to team up.

The second one is hopefully being fixed on NTstation once inhand .dmi limit issue is fixed. Good to see other people take issue with the eguns tho.

Allrighty then, that's those two.
And I did mean operatives and not trators.

Are the syndicate involved in the blobitis disease getting aboard the station? And are you in league with the wizards federation?

Yeah, why do the wizards have a syndicate wall-mounted intercom in their den? Why?!

Wait, wait, wait. MORE IMPORTANTLY, why do you always give your nuclear agents the ONE nuclear device that requires them to tear through half the station in order to acquire from its captain?

I think that can be answered simply, the nuclear bomb the Nuke Ops are using is a Nanotrasen bomb, as evident by a identical bomb being held in the vault. As such a nuclear authentication key is required to activate it, and only station Captain's hold such disk (To activate their own station bomb).

Why isn't there a 'steal the nuke' objective for traitors?