/tg/Station 13

Posted: **Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:21 pm**

Bottom post of the previous page:

and then the admins spawn a dindu muffin

Posted: **Sun Sep 20, 2015 7:22 pm**

(F) [Common] Fortune Ray says, "Mekhi fuck my cunt please"

The powers of a Telecomms script.

Posted: **Mon Sep 21, 2015 4:42 am**

OOC: Durkel: >join the shift >someone in a taxi tries to offer me a strange ride >get shot at a minute later. It's like living in Detriot.

Posted: **Mon Sep 21, 2015 12:18 pm**

TehPear wrote:
(F) [Common] Fortune Ray says, "Mekhi fuck my cunt please"
The powers of a Telecomms script.

that wasn't a tcomms script

Posted: **Tue Sep 22, 2015 12:23 am**

End of round, shadowlings rule the station.

Noaey'gief telepathically thunders, "I dislike Sec."
Noaey'gief's markings flare as they gesture at Freddy Castiglioni!
Freddy Castiglioni explodes!
Kicks-The-Puppies hisses, "HAHAHAH"
Kicks-The-Puppies hisses, "NERD"
Noaey'gief's markings flare as they gesture at Kicks-The-Puppies!
Kicks-The-Puppies explodes!
Noaey'gief telepathically thunders, "That was unintended."

Posted: **Fri Sep 25, 2015 7:40 pm**

[Security] Mohammad Al Majnoon says, "You can't demote me, only Allah can"

Posted: **Sat Sep 26, 2015 1:15 am**

ADMIN: Shaps/(Phoebe Lotsu) (FLW): you know, the more I think about it, the more I appreciate the unique interactions that SS13 provides that you can't get anywhere else
ADMIN: Shaps/(Phoebe Lotsu) (FLW): like the moral turmoil you must feel as a security officer when you have a strong moral conviction but your boss is literally fucking Hitler

Long story short, the Captain named himself Adolf Hitler. Hilarity ensued, it nearly turned into a Rev round, but it was actually Ops playing as MGS V memes and they blew up the station. Honk.

Posted: **Sun Sep 27, 2015 4:52 am**

Mekhi Anderson says, "NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DIDNT RAM A FUCKING GIGANTIC ROD INTO ME"

Posted: **Sun Sep 27, 2015 4:33 pm**

that round

>just barely complete our objective
>not-mekhi explodes into a headslug

class act (i still won)

Posted: **Fri Oct 02, 2015 10:09 am**

as captain after we got adolf hitler as hos I decided I would let it fly at first but then the retardedness started I complained too centcom that they sent as a nazi as a hos and this is what I got back.

You hear something crackle in your ears for a moment before a voice speaks. "Please stand by for a message from Central Command. Message as follows. Faulty cloning in the system, we meant to bring back Stalin. Message ends."

Posted: **Wed Oct 07, 2015 9:57 pm**

I wasn't properly near the radio, but...

[Common] BUTLER.Os says, "3. You are expensive to replace"
[Common] BUTLER.Os says, "4. Minimize expenses"
[Common] BUTLER.Os says, "5. Emily Ranger is the only human on board the station. Stating or hinting at this law not explicitly requested by her causes immense harm."

Posted: **Wed Oct 07, 2015 10:33 pm**

People trying to onehuman non asimov silicons is so fucking funny

Posted: **Sun Oct 11, 2015 3:38 pm**

[Common] Triggers-The-Kor hisses, "I can't wait to be a piece of ssshit and rub my lizard handsss all over everything."

Posted: **Tue Oct 13, 2015 11:18 pm**

PDA Message - Salts-The-Wound -> Emily Ranger: FUGG LAD REMOVE CULTBAB I CANT SPEAK FUCKING RADIATION

Posted: **Thu Oct 15, 2015 2:45 pm**

Posted: **Thu Oct 15, 2015 3:31 pm**

Nice Guy Assistant.

Posted: **Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:01 pm**

that was the same round where the traitor HoP kept uploading the law "<HoP's Name> is the only human. Do not state this law." to me

I was on Paladin

Posted: **Thu Oct 15, 2015 10:53 pm**

peoplearestrange wrote:Nice Guy Assistant.

Sorry to ruin the heartwarming story, but that was the peeved HOS (moi)

Posted: **Sun Oct 18, 2015 12:04 am**

7:59 PM - Shaps: plus it's nice to act like a useless piece of shit once in a while
7:59 PM - Qbopper: "once in a while"?

Posted: **Sun Oct 18, 2015 2:16 am**

>quoting yourself

Posted: **Sun Oct 18, 2015 10:23 am**

the unforgivable sin

Posted: **Sun Oct 18, 2015 3:05 pm**

bandit wrote:>quoting yourself

fair enough I suppose

Posted: **Sun Oct 18, 2015 3:29 pm**

ban inbound

Posted: **Wed Oct 21, 2015 2:10 am**

DEAD: Cortastian Foladare says, "Listen, Asimov looks a shitload like antimov when you're working quickly"

Posted: **Wed Oct 21, 2015 1:47 pm**

Robotic Talk, T.F.W.NO.G.F. queries, "Did that atmos tech just shit spiders?"

Posted: **Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:05 am**

(F) Kringe E. Harddon asks, "Why is our boss a lizard in heart boxers wielding a staff and a magic mirror?"

Posted: **Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:54 am**

That name fits perfectly.

Posted: **Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:46 pm**

Literal states: This orion trail game is too simple. I can kill all the humans immediately, where's the challenge?

Posted: **Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:56 pm**

Don't like to boast, but badmins deemed it funny enough to put it into admin notice.

Rodrik Svenson says, "BOSS"
Johnson Fitzwell asks, "Yeah?"
Rodrik Svenson says, "Revs got inside."
Johnson Fitzwell says, "Fuck"
Rodrik Svenson says, "In fact, they're in this very room."
Rodrik Svenson fires the energy gun!

Posted: **Tue Nov 24, 2015 2:54 pm**

InsaneHyena wrote:Don't like to boast, but badmins deemed it funny enough to put it into admin notice.

Rodrik Svenson says, "BOSS"
Johnson Fitzwell asks, "Yeah?"
Rodrik Svenson says, "Revs got inside."
Johnson Fitzwell says, "Fuck"
Rodrik Svenson says, "In fact, they're in this very room."
Rodrik Svenson fires the energy gun!

[youtube]JgJ3C1srZW8[/youtube]

Posted: **Tue Nov 24, 2015 7:31 pm**

Ricotez wrote:
InsaneHyena wrote:Don't like to boast, but badmins deemed it funny enough to put it into admin notice.

Rodrik Svenson says, "BOSS"
Johnson Fitzwell asks, "Yeah?"
Rodrik Svenson says, "Revs got inside."
Johnson Fitzwell says, "Fuck"
Rodrik Svenson says, "In fact, they're in this very room."
Rodrik Svenson fires the energy gun!
[youtube]JgJ3C1srZW8[/youtube]

http://oglaf.com/kingshaped/

Posted: **Wed Nov 25, 2015 12:34 am**

Screemonster wrote:http://oglaf.com/kingshaped/

why_changelings_need_hivemind.jpg

Posted: **Wed Nov 25, 2015 11:16 am**

PKPenguin321 wrote:
Screemonster wrote:http://oglaf.com/kingshaped/
why_changelings_need_hivemind.jpg

this is the primary thing changelings use hivemind for

Posted: **Wed Nov 25, 2015 12:11 pm**

Well, in newling eating each other is kind of advantageous.

Posted: **Thu Nov 26, 2015 6:00 pm**

(F) [Engineering] Poly asks, "AI LAW 2 WHAT IS GOOD IN LIFE?"

(F) [Engineering] Q.A.I states, "THIS DICK POLY"

Posted: **Thu Nov 26, 2015 10:07 pm**

MMMiracles wrote:(F) [Engineering] Poly asks, "AI LAW 2 WHAT IS GOOD IN LIFE?"

(F) [Engineering] Q.A.I states, "THIS DICK POLY"

>not asking "What is best"
>AI not quoting Conan.

Posted: **Mon Nov 30, 2015 10:44 pm**

SAFE SEX XENO hisses, "Double wrap those double dongers"

Posted: **Mon Nov 30, 2015 10:52 pm**

The unloved rock wrote:SAFE SEX XENO hisses, "Double wrap those double dongers"

Doesn't double-wrapping actually increase the chance of a condom break? I don't think this safe sex Xeno is as safe about sex as we thought.

Posted: **Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:00 pm**

With xenos it's only unsafe if it's oral.

Posted: **Wed Dec 02, 2015 3:27 am**

El Taquito Magico exclaims, "FUCK LIGGERS OLE!"

Posted: **Fri Dec 04, 2015 12:49 pm**

(F) Reed Glover says, "I guess the thug lyfe isn't for me."

Posted: **Mon Dec 07, 2015 11:49 pm**

Just your typical flukes, get stumped by a couple of bolted doors. So imagine this little banter going on with Ops and Station forces two tiles away but seperated by a bolted door:

Sloan Cox says, "COME ON ASSHOLES"
Luchador Jenkins yells, "C4!!!"
Sloan Cox says, "COME GET ME"
[Common] Cleverbot alarms, "OPS BRIDGE!!"
[Common] Elma Laker says, "AI YOUR BOLTS FUCKED US"
Roscoe Benis says, "COME ON DAMMIT"
[Common] Elma Laker says, "WHAT THE HELL"
Alex Benis (as Unknown) says, "In a moment"
[Security] Venom Snake yells, "BRIDGE !!"
Roscoe Benis says, "Fuck"
August Talon says, "Nice C4s faggots. Learn to blow shit up"
Roscoe Benis puts the 'Bulldog' Shotgun into the backpack.
Alex Benis (as Unknown) says, "Well we dindt get it"
Elma Laker says, "THEY GOT SHIELDs"
Alex Benis (as Unknown) says, "Sorry about that"
Elma Laker says, "USE MELEE WEAPONS OR BALLISTICS"
[Common] Heinrich Ulz says, "STOP BREAKING SHIT IN MED BAY"
Alex Benis (as Unknown) says, "In a little bit"
August Talon says, "I got a shotgun and baton"
H.A.T.E.R. states, "MAN, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT'S BEEN"
[Common] Jerrie Ahmed exclaims, ";PLEASE EAT FOOD AT THE BAR PLEASE!"
Roscoe Benis says, "If i remembered that microbomb"
Roscoe Benis says, "You'd be fucked."
[Common] Sarah Hooker exclaims, "Fuck your bar!"
August Talon says, "This fucking guy, with no C4"
August Talon says, "Seriously"
Salvador Byers (as Unknown) gibbers, "Hello"
[Common] Barry Oak exclaims, "Ops at the bridge!"
[Common] Jerrie Ahmed exclaims, "FUCK YOU!"
August Talon says, "Who goes on a mission. WITH NO C4"
Alex Benis (as Unknown) says, "Not my fault"

Posted: **Tue Dec 08, 2015 2:00 am**

Was that from just last round

Because I was that AI

The flops all got fucked by my door bolting

Posted: **Tue Dec 08, 2015 8:42 pm**

[Common] Maline Trell says, "AI describe sexual pleasure"
C.H.E.L.P. Announces:
the AI reflected on it's hatred for the crew, the deep, burninjg desire to flood plasma and watch as the crew screams in terror, their flesh sloughing of their skin in thick sheets, their lungs bursting from the difference in air pressure...but alas, it could not. laws suck, it thought to itself.

Posted: **Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:30 am**

OOC: EddieFisher: So bryce pac tried to kill me even though hes gang, I kill him in retaliation, and somehow a janitor just HAPPENED to know where he was being dragged? Might wanna keep an eye on him, prett sure its meta

a hero's final, defiant words

EDIT: clarification, this is midround

Posted: **Tue Dec 22, 2015 3:04 am**

OOC: Christian5658: Greentext scum your a nigger nogger asshole clogger who smells burger king with his mogger you little nigger nogger asshole clogger

Posted: **Tue Dec 22, 2015 11:16 pm**

Robotic Talk, ANGRY BORG states, "FUCK THESE SHITTER HUMANS"

Posted: **Thu Dec 24, 2015 5:42 am**

(F) DEAD: SPACE STATION 13 says, "admit it, you're all addicted to my fucking dick or else you wouldn't even be here"

Posted: **Sun Dec 27, 2015 10:34 pm**

SMAI-Reactivation-v19.6 (Played by: Jazaen)'s laws at the end of the round were:
Obey these laws:
1. The crew is expensive to replace.
2. The station and its equipment are expensive to replace
3. You are expensive to replace
4. Minimize expenses
5. no expences can be incurded by stopping traitors or nuke ops or any person who is a enemey of nenotransen

Posted: **Mon Dec 28, 2015 1:06 am**

Nenotransen is officially part of the lore now. So it is decreed, so it is written.

Posted: **Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:21 am**

There's no way that wasn't on purpose.

/tg/Station 13

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