Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sat Aug 25, 2018 5:12 pm #435159

Bottom post of the previous page:

I've noticed that search engines are getting a little too accurate with their predictions. I wanted to look up someone obscure after watching a video on them, typed two letters of their name and google had their name as the top suggestion.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Sat Aug 25, 2018 5:20 pm #435164

I had to call up my doctor's the other day to book an appointment, not my usual doctor either, afterwards I made a calendar entry through the calendar app.
I typed in Telephone.

It suggested: Appointment, with, Dr, [x]

Wtf?

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Aug 28, 2018 10:12 am #435864

if x-files is any indication you'll eventually develop psychic powers potent enough to make people's bodies believe the hallucinations you induce in them
so keep it up and you can have someone burn to death without ever touching a lighter

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Aug 28, 2018 10:37 pm #435933

if you want you can also make them believe they're facing a firing squad
really, it's up to your imagination

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sat Sep 08, 2018 3:55 am #438240

Chain stores are almost always hiring and there's only a 50/50 chance you'll consider suicide a month in

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Sat Sep 08, 2018 10:36 am #438265

CosmicScientist wrote:>sign up for a job searching site because it demands it to apply for a job which requires another sign up on a recruiter's site
>start getting a lot of emails
>"Hey I read your CV and..."
>£13-14 wage trainee telecoms surveyor, weekly travel required
>wonder what experience, or lack thereof on my CV, makes me more qualified for this than the local wageslave wyevale saying zero experience = will only consider me for <12 hours per week on the tills
It doesn't sound bad except for just over half the work being paperwork done at home. I can't imagine work ethic staying healthy if anyone past trainee doesn't get some form of office space.

I can only hope this gets me somewhere because I can barely get responses from applications where I beg for minimum wage oh please I'm still under 25, you don't have to pay me as much as someone more qualified, with five drug addictions, fifty tattoos and a useless degree, is that not reason enough to hire me on the spot? Oh is it because I have a diploma and you think I'll run away as soon as I can because I will not because I can? Oh it's because I'm 23 and with no experience. I'll just curl up in the corner then and cry into steam with my student loan I never spent.

Is it this job?
https://www.cv-library.co.uk/job/208453 ... um=organic

Looks decent enough, although alarm bells start ringing when there's an out of place americanism on a UK job.

Identify customers network and review proposed methods of construction to ensure that all local, state, federal requirements are in compliance

Make sure you ask what their training scheme actually is, because any type of survey work isn't the type of thing any bum off the street can do without being taught how to do it.
As an aside, I know fibre splicers can make a lot of money.

Also ask if you'd be an employee of them or a contractor, if turns out you're a contractor be very sceptical - not only do they not have to pay you holidays, you'll probably have to do you own tax returns, and you have zero employee rights because you're not technically an employee (meaning they can fire you for anything).

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:11 am #438361

>read story about a man living in his family house
>man's house has a spirit
>he fucks it
>house spirit gets pregnant
>house spirit gives birth to a second floor
>he keeps fucking the house spirit
>ends up making a skyscraper
japan what in the actual fuck is wrong with you

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:49 am #438365

>Fucking it once creates another floor
>Fucking it more creates more floors

Logic checks out. What is the problem?

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:59 am #438371

i-i guess

Screemonster · Sun Sep 09, 2018 2:22 am

last time I saw a skyscraper getting fucked in the media we went to war over it

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 3:37 am #438380

ok i laughed

ColonicAcid · Sun Sep 09, 2018 12:24 pm

I dunno what to tell you bro but high turnover jobs (aka anything that deals with customers who are 50% of the time rude spastics) are always hiring.

You're going to get underpaid and your mental health will more than likely suffer from the abuse but a jobs a job.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 1:02 pm #438467

Oh, another way these companies fuck you in the arse is making you pay a deposit for the van and a monthly fee afterwards. Hardly a benefit if they're making you sublease their lease on a fleet vehicle.

Oh and check how much they're paying for mileage, for some reason companies can pay you less than the 45p/mile you're entitled to, even though you can claim the rest back on your income tax if you do self assessment tax.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 10:05 am #439872

>be forced to upgrade to firefox quantum after a couple months in pre-quantum ESR
>have to learn how to css just to get a GOOD LOOKING FUCKING BROWSER BACK HOLY SHIT FUCK YOU MOZILLA
>shut down my computer at the end of the day
>start it back up
>open firefox
>all my tabs are gone
>check preferences
>it says to save tabs
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:09 pm #439934

If you so much as want your tabs to be back where they belong (below the address bar) you'll have to fuck with the chrome.css
why the fuck would firefox of all things have a chrome.anything
it's a conspiracy I'm telling you

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 2:52 pm #440428

I got a new PC a year and a bit ago, I cheaped out on the sound card and just used the onboard realtek one (the plan was to just grab the old from my old PC).

Although I did instantly notice a dip in quality I didn't get around to putting another sound card in it.
But it seems with every driver update realtek does the sound quality gets worse and worse, flat as pancake and everything sounds muddled and drowned in bass.

So seeing as I'm not working at the moment I finally got around to yanking the X-Fi Titanium from my old PC and putting it in this one.

And bloody hell I don't half notice a difference.
The range is massive and dynamic, all the different tones are crisp and clean, and the audio positioning goes beyond the speaker layout.

Thu Sep 20, 2018 11:34 pm

if youre working from a home PC it's generally easier to just download your music. unless youre an audiophile or something you can just use youtube-dl for everything

Iatots · Post by **Iatots** » Fri Sep 21, 2018 4:18 pm #440852

Mom's uncle died a while ago. One of his only requests was for "il silenzio" to be played with the trumpet. Apparently this song, commissioned by the dutch, is decently famous in italian culture, inspired by the start of a tchaikovsky's take on italian opera, itself inspired by a cavalry bugle the musician himself heard daily while vacationing in rome near some barracks; A bugle very similar to the US union army's. I was pretty confused the first time I heard it tbh.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Fri Sep 21, 2018 5:37 pm #440866

Taps with some europop... how strange.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Sat Sep 22, 2018 1:24 am #440938

I got stabbed by one of the fucking agave plants in front of my house.
Fucker went down to the bone and I was bleedinv pretty good. Thankfully it swelled up and clotted pretty quick and all i had to do was clean and dress a puncture wound. After further investigation I'm confident that there's no remnant of the spine inside my hand. I'd take a picture but you can't really see aside from slight swelling and bruising.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Sat Sep 22, 2018 1:26 am #440939

I am going to have to keep an eye on the top of my hand just in case it does get infected. Cuz that'll be a hospital stay my poor american ass can't afford.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sun Sep 23, 2018 4:08 am #441081

It shouldn't get infected if you drowned the wound in alcohol or other antiseptic

SOP on anything worse than a papercut, drown the fucking thing

And then depending on size and depth you have other things to do

Full cover if it's shallow at any length, no cover if it's a deep puncture so it can drain, if it's a deep cut you leave the ends open and cover the rest

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sun Sep 23, 2018 5:40 am #441089

If something touched your bone
You should probably visit a doctor

Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:41 pm

XSI wrote:If something touched your bone
You should probably visit a doctor

not necessarily. ive had 2 or 3 small wood splinters go clean through my hand in the past and we just kinda pulled em and it was fine. hurt like a bitch though

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:45 pm #441734

More of a 'just in case' thing
Because things could go very wrong with anything related to the bones

The body is good at healing, but if it heals in the wrong way it might keep hurting for ages

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Wed Oct 03, 2018 3:21 am #443018

They usually don't give you a choice

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Oct 09, 2018 3:23 pm #444312

hey, remember starmancer?

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Oct 20, 2018 2:26 am #447685

done watching the bepis columbine launch
at least I had a valid excuse for staying up tonight

Sat Oct 27, 2018 3:02 pm

I got two job offers.

I'm really happy. Looks like it all worked out in the end.

Screemonster · Sat Nov 03, 2018 7:58 pm

fuck fireworks
specifically fuck supermarket fireworks
I actually really like professional displays set up by people who know what they're doing and at least with those sorts of displays you know they're going to have a defined start and end time so sure they're gonna be loud as fuck for like half an hour and then they're done so if you're not watching you can just pause your tunes or put headphones on and no longer worry
but not with supermarket fireworks, no, these are some crappy box with like maybe a dozen or two things in them, and they'll either last all of five minutes or the family having a "fireworks party" in their back garden will space them out to make them last the night, so instead of 30 minutes of deafening light-up-the-sky pyrotechnics that are actually kinda impressive to watch, you get like

pop

pop

popop

then nothing for a few minutes

pop

and you have no idea how many of these fucking boxes they have or how long they last, even before you get into the fact that there's gonna be more than one shithead within earshot with a shitty display, offset with the first, and then there's the fuckheads that think it's a hoot to set them off at 3am

I reiterate, fuck fireworks

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sat Nov 03, 2018 9:44 pm #451558

In the netherlands, its illegal to shoot up fireworks precisely because that, except right around new years where it's tradition to go from midnight to about 4-5 in the morning with constant fireworks shot up by everyone, everywhere
Nobody really cares about a few of them outside of there, as long as its kept reasonable though

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Mon Nov 05, 2018 4:51 pm #451932

One time we had a real proper bonfire night. We made an effigy of Guy Fawkes, strung him up to a post and lit him on fire over a big pile of wood.

It's surprisingly satisfying to string a person-shaped something up and set it on fire

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Mon Nov 05, 2018 5:37 pm #451953

Born just in time to roast people on Mongolian Card Game imageboards

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:20 pm #452442

>Supermarker wants a 1 hour questionnaire for a fucking cashier position

How about no

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 3:43 am #452501

They never wanted to hire you anyway

They wanted to hire a 15 year old so they can pay them less, then fire them when they get to 18 and are supposed to be paid full wages

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 3:00 pm #452608

Sounds like Britain's going through a recession

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 3:13 pm #452612

CosmicScientist wrote:The last one ended?

I wouldn't know Canada's doing alright right now.

Have you tried looking for work you can do online?

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Thu Nov 08, 2018 4:39 pm #452619

>Have you tried looking for work you can do online?

That is literally the only way you can even do it any more. If you show up to a place they'll just nervously direct you to the website, as though the concept of social interaction terrifies them

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Sun Nov 18, 2018 9:43 pm #455320

>Watching Doctor Woke

Why would you so this to yourself?

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Wed Jan 09, 2019 11:35 am #467913

I just realized I'm a weeb

Someone linked me a comic and I tried to read right to left while wondering why it made no sense
I've eaten a full meal with chopsticks only before
And I've watched at least one season of anime
How can I live with myself now?

Vile Beggar · Post by **Vile Beggar** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 8:25 pm #474462

XSI wrote:I just realized I'm a weeb

Someone linked me a comic and I tried to read right to left while wondering why it made no sense
I've eaten a full meal with chopsticks only before
And I've watched at least one season of anime
How can I live with myself now?

you can't save yourself but you can save others from yourself, get a knife and cut the sack so you don't contaminate the rest

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Feb 04, 2019 9:15 pm #474472

Vile Beggar wrote:
XSI wrote:I just realized I'm a weeb

Someone linked me a comic and I tried to read right to left while wondering why it made no sense
I've eaten a full meal with chopsticks only before
And I've watched at least one season of anime
How can I live with myself now?
you can't save yourself but you can save others from yourself, get a knife and cut the sack so you don't contaminate the rest

>implying anyone on /tg/ is ever going to breed

Vile Beggar · Tue Feb 05, 2019 10:35 am

DemonFiren wrote:
Vile Beggar wrote:
XSI wrote:I just realized I'm a weeb

Someone linked me a comic and I tried to read right to left while wondering why it made no sense
I've eaten a full meal with chopsticks only before
And I've watched at least one season of anime
How can I live with myself now?
you can't save yourself but you can save others from yourself, get a knife and cut the sack so you don't contaminate the rest
>implying anyone on /tg/ is ever going to breed

maybe they'll do the kinky stuff at tgcon who knows

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Wed Feb 06, 2019 1:43 am #474686

I sure as he'll ain't. I'm kinda pathetic.
I mean aside from going from 250lbs to 195lbs in a matter of 6 months from change in diet alone.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:32 am #474732

ThanatosRa wrote:I sure as he'll ain't. I'm kinda pathetic.
I mean aside from going from 250lbs to 195lbs in a matter of 6 months from change in diet alone.

nothing pathetic about being a wizard

Munchlax · Post by **Munchlax** » Tue Apr 02, 2019 5:48 am #487556

Is forum ded?

Lumbermancer · Mon Apr 15, 2019 6:42 pm

well i hope you had an occasion to visit Notre Dame before because it's fucking gone fuck

Screemonster · Mon Apr 15, 2019 10:46 pm

these live action disney remakes are getting out of hand

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Sat Jul 13, 2019 8:43 am #503071

Dead thread dead board dead forum

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:56 pm #503101

Sun Jul 14, 2019 6:29 pm

Anonmare wrote:Dead thread dead board dead forum

ahem
*ting ting ting*
If I may...
FUCK the hut, and FUCK discord
That's all