/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

For everyone posting "get banned" I don't think you grasp the idea of reality.

Unless getting banned from life is simply death, then yes, that would probably happen.

Well, aside from BEING ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUS I'd break into EVA and get a hardsuit, make a stunprod, and hide in Maintenance until round end. Then I'd get on the shuttle, get to CentCom, resign, and find a better job ANYWHERE ELSE.

Spawn as HoP (there will not be a captain I hope).
Close all the shutters.
Go to bridge main control.
Close blast doors.
Tell AI to not open anything for anyone ever.
Wait until I can call the shuttle.
Call shuttle.
Go to brig (hopefully its not full of scum).
Hide in brig escape pod with Ian and laser gun.
Pray to gods for cookie.
Eat cookies on the way to centrecom and give the non-chocolate ones to Ian.
Get on the first ship back to earth.
Go home and play some tg-station-13.

DrBeach wrote:Spawn as HoP (there will not be a captain I hope).
Close all the shutters.
Go to bridge main control.
Close blast doors.
Tell AI to not open anything for anyone ever.
Wait until I can call the shuttle.
Call shuttle.
Go to brig (hopefully its not full of scum).
Hide in brig escape pod with Ian and laser gun.
Pray to gods for cookie.
Eat cookies on the way to centrecom and give the non-chocolate ones to Ian.
Get on the first ship back to earth.
Go home and play some tg-station-13.

You're missing the part where Centcom arrests you for deriliction of duty

Do my job because I'm not a fucking pansy.

Any more replies? :p

I hope for the red text telling me what to put into my PDA

If it never comes, I shit around in maint and wear the tackiest of clothing.

Hide in a locker in the old bar, until the shift ends. Then, take the engineering pods.

Kill the mime, give the clown all access, get blown up then bitch a lot as a ghost.

tbh

the first thing I'd do is probably masturbate

Ikarrus wrote:tbh

the first thing I'd do is probably masturbate

I can empathize with that

> masterbating at work

You guys

Depends. If I spawn as my engi character then I am going to try not to blow myself up or get merc'd in maint. If I spawn as my sec character I hope I rolled warden.

Go to the medbay and erp with the stuttering nurses

Start making a stockpile of snackfoods and sodas, and probably never leave the Custodial Closet.

What if we spawn as Silicons?
How do we cope with the fact our reality is defined by people who sometimes can't be bothered to use capital letters when writing new laws up.

I'd probably troll the shit out of everyone with law interpretations.

Deconstruct genetics and virology piece by piece to prevent the oncoming nightmare of reckless geneticists/viro giving out free powers and releasing viruses leading to my inevitable nervous breakdown because i love shouting at reckless assholes.

Amongst ten thousand other things i will probably get bwoinked for (how would i even respond to that? do i just talk in my head?) like *consensual ERP, and murdering people over not closing doors or running my efficiency format that actually works because they've never read the wiki nor possess enough imagination or patience to listen and improve their play-style.

Though its scary to think in that universe, there would be a 'god/gods' so i would be praying thine sins any spess jeebus would probaly tell me "LMAO scrub"

tell shaps phoebe to leave my fucking cat alone

die

Search for my waifu.

Lay pipes.

Push crates for an hour

go back to fucking sleep

i'm tired goddammit

Huh, I suppose it would make me care enough to clean the whole station instead of just the hallways.

Strap on the boots, sign up for security or any job nanotrasen would need done, and kick butt.

I would be more paranoid than I normally am too.

Cry, a lot.

Carry around Syndi-replica toys, a box of carp plushies with fire extinguisher and keep pens in my pockets to randomly jab people.
As well as steal a flash and scribble nonsense on bits of paper with red crayon to put in my internals box.
I'm gonna piss somebody off and get validhunted to hell and back.

Go hunting for waifus, beat some shitters, and meow for a while.

Desucake wrote:Strap on the boots, sign up for security or any job nanotrasen would need done, and kick butt.

I would be more paranoid than I normally am too.

Spoiler:

I'd have to probably learn to not cut my tongue on my teeth..

Imagine what would happen if you bit your tongue...

Anyone responding with anything other than "die" is false

The thread is "what would you do", not "what do you want to do"

I'm pretty sure I'd be able to masturbate for a little bit before I got killed.

I'm fairly sure I can assemble a chem grenade or at least be a bit more robust than I am in-game.

Except with bullets, fuck bullets.

If you smuggled out some autocloning tech you could very well live forever, especially since memories seem to persist and your cloning backup data doesn't age. Ghosts/souls seem to be an ingame concept too, so your clone could be /you/ not just somebody who looks exactly the same with the exact same memories.

What would I actually do? Well as I seem to commonly get lumped as CE when I play, I pray to god that the engineers are competent otherwise the power dies and everyone freezes in space.

What I would aim to do would be to hand in my resignation as the Chief Engineer and then take the first shuttle away from the station as fast as possible, and then sign on with the Syndicate because they're so much more well armed, more advanced and generally better in every way. If I get lumped as a scientist or an RD I'd aim to try and get the slimes making golem runes as fast as I can and then just hole up in my R&D autism fortress staffed by the cold, unfeeling adamantine automatons.

If it's something like cult, then I'm going to end up forcibly inducted or dead, if it's shadowling, same issue, if it's changeling...then I get murderraped, if it's revs then I get clubbed to death by the dickhead peons, if it's gang I get gunned down by a (space) African American youth with low trousers and a space glock.

If it was the entire station crew that woke up one day for a shift like this then it might actually go better, assuming that we get some form of knowledge from the body/mind transplant then we should be relatively okay as self preservation for all parties involved means that traitors, lings, revs, etc aren't going to be going around robusting because they can actually die. Assuming that someone fills an antag role and is still themselves rather than a meatpuppet with an antags motivations we might even meet some sort of research quota. Hell we might see a general quality of life improvement, genetics can give TK, X-ray vision and such, and Virology can give you literal unlimited life. The major downside however is that SS13 universe seems to be set in some horrible mix of Enders Game sans alien threats, 40K and 1984. So living on a nanotransen brand planet (they must exist) or company brand goods hauler is going to be horrible.

Or some try-hard edge lord masturbates until he bleeds from his urethra after flooding everything with plasma and we all burn because he wanted to pull the space version of a school shooting.

Be assistant, Gain tools, Break into everyone as a masked man, generally be a nuisance in as many ways as possible, get caught and permaed by security, die in the escape attempt