/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

NikNakFlak wrote:Ghall Meyy hisses, "The girl iss-s-s alive I think."
Nickolas Roberts says, "Yeah, she'll be our reproduction stock"
Ghall Meyy exclaims, "Yippee!"
Nickolas Roberts says, "We'll repopulate on this here asteroid"

AssassinT90 wrote:OOC: Hobobiscuit: 49/10 cap'n, Id follow ye inta themawo'thekraken!
OOC: Turokki: Take a truly demented captain to earn loyalty on this crazy ass station

[Common] Aden Mcclymonds says, "AI close all external airlocks and call the emergancy shuddle. after calling the shuddle detstroy anything that could re-call the shuddle and then self-desturct"

Rumpelstiltskin3 wrote:Stickymayhem: You deep throated your sobbing gf at TGIFridays?

Runtime is hit by a heavy laser in the chest!

Cecily wrote:

[Common] Aden Mcclymonds says, "AI close all external airlocks and call the emergancy shuddle. after calling the shuddle detstroy anything that could re-call the shuddle and then self-desturct"

To further stories of this fucking legend, he broke into Engineering a few days ago claiming that he was here to "fix the ai it is broken", despite it being alive & well.
When I stunprodded his shit, he dropped... The AI Integrity Restorer board.

Truly, a testament to the autism that lies within us all.

danno wrote:

Spoiler:

[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "UNH"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "FENEX GREEN ON THE MIC"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "SWOLLOW IT SLUT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "EATING MY OWN CUM, THATS THE ISH THAT I LIKE"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "I like jizz in my mouth"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "Lewd"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "Said fenix"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "Not me"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "I don't auto"
[Common] Morrigan De Fey [Sec] says, "You guys are weird as shit."
[Common] Luck [Sec] exclaims, "SWOLLOW IT!"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "ERP'S BANNED SO I SAY IT DONT MATTER, BUT COME UP IN MY KITCHEN IF YOU GOT SOME BABY BATTER"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "AYY"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "DICKJUICE IS MY LIFE BLOOD, MY BREAD AND BUT-TER"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Get my girl to kiss me right after I nut'er"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "HAHAHA"
Morrigan De Fey says, "Oh fuck"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "This is gold"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "OPEN MY MOUTH AND SPIT IN SOME SAILORS"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "BRING A FREAKY BITCH TO ME, YOU KNOW IMMA NAIL HER"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "MY WORDS IS TOUCHIN, JUST LIKE MY UNCLLLE, LIKE LIKE LIL JON BRUH I KEEPS IT CRUNKLEEE"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "WHEN I GET ON THE MIC, I REDEFINE SPIT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "LIKE A TACO BELL TOILET I GOTS THE HOT SHIT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "IM THE KING OF THE WORLD, YOU NIGGAS JUST DREGS"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "I SPREAD MY CHEEKS APART AS I GET READY FOR THE PEG bars"
[Common] Krystal Symers [Miner] says, "What."
[Common] Dave [Engi] says, "BITCH I'LL SEND YOU BACK TO THE DEEPEST PIT, MY RHYMES ARE RUFF SO YOU BETTER SIT"
[Common] Dave [Engi] says, "FOLLOW YOUR MASTER, FETCH ME THE PAPER WHEN THEY CHAT BOUT THIS BATTLE THEY'LL SAY "HE RAPED HER""
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "YOU COULDN'T RESIST MY FLOW WITH A MAXIPAD VEST, POP A squat over me and shit on my chest hahahahahaha"
[Common] Veezara [QM] hisses, "I am not into that."
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Like the steak I rub my dick on, my rhymes is raw, Now hold on, someone's here, I gotta suck on his BAWLS"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "IF YOU NEED SOMETHING TO SIT ON"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "I'LL UNZIP MY DICK"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "CALL ME YUNG EBOLA"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "CAUSE I'M ALWAYS SICK"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "MY DONG'S HANGING OUT SO COME TAKE A SEAT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "AND LISTEN AS MY HOMIE LAYS OUT THE BEAT luck beatbox please"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "Uh"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "Beatboxing noises"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE? YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A POSA"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "SEGREGATION RULES, BITCH, BACK OF THE BUS, ROSA"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "OH SHIT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Lizards are subhuman"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "My raps are about learning."
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Imma drop the mic, but before I go"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "I'm down on my knees and I'm ready to blow"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Repping skeet street mafia for life"

Good thing you have that spray bottle of lube in your pocket, because you are robust and you play SS13 to win. Utilize your ancient knowldge of Clownjutsu's tricky slippy left right bowling alley technique and slip those fuckers to get away to chem to make a beaker of thermite. Grab an extra beaker and take the space suit out of your bag of holding and go EVA to the north of the station. Thermite through to armory and nab all the laser guns, eguns, flashbangs and smoke bombs. Get to genetics and use the mem exploit to find the xray genetics block.
Now go raid the bridge or atmosia for dat fukken fireaxe. Go get a red space suit from space for minmaxing brute resistance coverage. Now find the nearest catbeast and cut his fucking head off, but not so quickly that he can't scream for help. When the pack of unrobust furries swarm at you pop some smoke for cover, then throw flashbangs. Laser two to death, then whip out an egun and hit the other catbeasts so they stay down. If you are robust you can empty two full laser pistols on a downed target before a flashbang's stun wears off. If not, just alternate lasering them to death and hitting them with more stuns.
Now shitcurity and the rest of the crew will either be laughing their asses off (like they should) or will get upset. Be sure to pop smoke so you have a continual shroud. If you run out of ammo just use up the rest of your flashbangs for stun and your fireaxe to cut their heads off.
Cut off the heads of the husked catbeasts you should have made when you lasered them to death and put them in the backpack you should have in your bag of holding. Evade the inevitable tasers from sec who should just be arriving on scene now. Change your clothes and put back on your ID (you should have taken it off so you can't be identified) and make your way to engineering. Toss the backpack(s) full of catbeast heads into the singulo to make sure they can't get back into the round. Destroy all positronic brains.
You will have just left whatever furryloving badmins who are metafriends with the catbeasts for ERP purposes online so enraged they will be physically unable to click any buttons for the remainder of the round. All the goodmins will bwoink you for your service and probably reward you with trophies and medals and whatever your heart desires. Hell they'll brobably ask you each round to do another purge of the furries and give you an energy axe to assist you in this goal.

danno wrote:

Spoiler:

[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "UNH"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "FENEX GREEN ON THE MIC"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "SWOLLOW IT SLUT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "EATING MY OWN CUM, THATS THE ISH THAT I LIKE"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "I like jizz in my mouth"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "Lewd"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "Said fenix"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "Not me"
[Common] Johnny English [Assnt] says, "I don't auto"
[Common] Morrigan De Fey [Sec] says, "You guys are weird as shit."
[Common] Luck [Sec] exclaims, "SWOLLOW IT!"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "ERP'S BANNED SO I SAY IT DONT MATTER, BUT COME UP IN MY KITCHEN IF YOU GOT SOME BABY BATTER"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "AYY"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "DICKJUICE IS MY LIFE BLOOD, MY BREAD AND BUT-TER"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Get my girl to kiss me right after I nut'er"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "HAHAHA"
Morrigan De Fey says, "Oh fuck"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "This is gold"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "OPEN MY MOUTH AND SPIT IN SOME SAILORS"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "BRING A FREAKY BITCH TO ME, YOU KNOW IMMA NAIL HER"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "MY WORDS IS TOUCHIN, JUST LIKE MY UNCLLLE, LIKE LIKE LIL JON BRUH I KEEPS IT CRUNKLEEE"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "WHEN I GET ON THE MIC, I REDEFINE SPIT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "LIKE A TACO BELL TOILET I GOTS THE HOT SHIT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "IM THE KING OF THE WORLD, YOU NIGGAS JUST DREGS"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "I SPREAD MY CHEEKS APART AS I GET READY FOR THE PEG bars"
[Common] Krystal Symers [Miner] says, "What."
[Common] Dave [Engi] says, "BITCH I'LL SEND YOU BACK TO THE DEEPEST PIT, MY RHYMES ARE RUFF SO YOU BETTER SIT"
[Common] Dave [Engi] says, "FOLLOW YOUR MASTER, FETCH ME THE PAPER WHEN THEY CHAT BOUT THIS BATTLE THEY'LL SAY "HE RAPED HER""
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "YOU COULDN'T RESIST MY FLOW WITH A MAXIPAD VEST, POP A squat over me and shit on my chest hahahahahaha"
[Common] Veezara [QM] hisses, "I am not into that."
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Like the steak I rub my dick on, my rhymes is raw, Now hold on, someone's here, I gotta suck on his BAWLS"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "IF YOU NEED SOMETHING TO SIT ON"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "I'LL UNZIP MY DICK"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "CALL ME YUNG EBOLA"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "CAUSE I'M ALWAYS SICK"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "MY DONG'S HANGING OUT SO COME TAKE A SEAT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "AND LISTEN AS MY HOMIE LAYS OUT THE BEAT luck beatbox please"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "Uh"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "Beatboxing noises"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE? YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A POSA"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "SEGREGATION RULES, BITCH, BACK OF THE BUS, ROSA"
[Common] Luck [Sec] says, "OH SHIT"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Lizards are subhuman"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "My raps are about learning."
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Imma drop the mic, but before I go"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "I'm down on my knees and I'm ready to blow"
[Common] Jane West [Assnt] says, "Repping skeet street mafia for life"

[Common] Anne Arky says, "Captain"
[Common] Anne Arky says, "You're a gay bitch and I hate you"
[Common] Daman Caperton says, "Ok"
[Common] Delaron Ereborn says, "Lol"
[Common] Anne Arky says, "I hope you get cancer"

Attention:
medical teams to the bridge with ointment, the captain is suffering life-threatening burns thanks to Anne

Rumpelstiltskin3 wrote:OOC: Earthykiller127: we were about to erp bdsm with the larva

Jim Dandy hisses, "I jus-ss-s-s-st wanted to hug it"
Jim Dandy hisses, "And it ate me"
PHOENIX states, "I assume it thought you very pretty."
PHOENIX states, "It wanted to have you deep inside."
Jim Dandy hisses, "Is-ss-s that how xenomorphs-ss-s s-ss-show attraction?"
Jim Dandy hisses, "Eating people?"
Jim Dandy hisses, "That can't be right"

and then they went on on a 15-minute long discussion about vore fetishes

peoplearestrange wrote:^ Both valid answers

NikNakFlak wrote:(Evil I orchestrated)

Derrick Cobb whispers, "Take up lepidoptery."

danno wrote:OOC: WeeYakk: >You will never coat Krystal Symer's dark thighs in your pearly white baby batter

<fleure> So what is AGPLv3 exactly
<sawu> a gay penis lover v3

danno wrote:OOC: WeeYakk: >You will never coat Krystal Symer's dark thighs in your pearly white baby batter

DemonFiren wrote:The name Krystal alone implies otherwise.

cedarbridge wrote:

Cuboos wrote:https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/965 ... elcome.wav

Played around a bit, how would this sound for an AI personality?

What exactly is a station poo? An assistant?