/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

confused rock wrote:>warden
>war ops
>john petrovich, the hop, convinced the cap to give him the disk, and runs up to me saying "FUCKING LIGGER"
>my most recent memory with this man is when we went to stop a traitor, me, him as captain, and a third officer. He ran away at the last second, leading to both our deaths, then ran in alone. He then said everyone else who died to the traitor was a retard.
>after being as rude as possible, demands my combat shotgun since he has the disk
>tell him no and leave
>he calls for my execution, calls me a mutineer, everything.
>only one person reacts to this- some guy comes at me with a baton and disabler and I have to arrest them.
>whatever
>deal with shit, ops aint here yet
>hear reports of him shooting random people
>decide to make some healing chem implants for him and get a tracking- we don't have to agree, but I'd prefer to be safe if he lugs around the disk
>John runs up to me, disablers me, and steals my shotgun
>welp, I'd rather not cause a scene and get the disk back, even if it'd work better in theory, in practice people will be angry with me and retaliate.
>suddenly medical syndieborg
>struggle to fight it without my shotgun, laser it
>barely kill it
>John runs over and shoots the syndieborg after its dead
>and by that I mean he hit me in the face twice with buckshot and I nearly get crit
>fuck my life
>eventually resolve to try to arrest john
>pull out disablers
>this fucking moustache twirling cartoon villain that john is has to hatch a plan
>SHOOTS A NEARBY ASSISTANT INTO CRIT
>I have to go save the assistant's life cuz I'm not a shitty person and he gets away
>literal fucking moustache twirling

why does your story not end in "and then he got banned"?

I'm a beta cuck

>be chemist
>YOU ARE THE TRAITOR
>yes
>spend first 10 mins filling large beakers with
55% lexorin
25%chloral
20% plasma
A couple drops of space drugs and/or unstable mutagen as the cherry on top
>Get dartgun,emag,syndieradio
>Some tator buddies on radio already
>I give chap tator a syringe gun and 5 toxin syringes
>I then start traitoring
>Change outfits whenever I do antag shit and then change to chem uniform when not and refilling my shit
>Break into sci and kill target and random witness
> Yeet a chloral + lexorin + plasma smoke nade at hopline and then break lightbulb nearby ,burning hopline and everyone in it
>Ai and hop sees me but luckily didn't get name
>Sec starting to catch on
>shit
>HoP later recognizes my tator outfit,engages me with egun
>Barely escape but manage to dart him a couple times
>He spends the majority the round in medbay due to this
>Dart clown for shits and giggles
>Sec on high alert for me
>Tator buddies got discovered, sec distracted by them
>Make plasma sculptures everywhere to burn down halls
>Yeet chem nade at officers are brig and light shit up
>My name is finally discovered on sec radio
>A while later hos gives chase to me
>Darts bounce off him because he was wearing his hardsuit for some reason but it allowed me to escape from him easily
>Notice im starving
>Go to bar and grab some food
>Pick up soup, start chugging down
>Realize my mistake,but it's too late
>Soup stunlocks me in bar for 2 mins straight
>Ai snitches and hos executes me on the spot

Never ever fucking trust chef food

Farquaar wrote:

confused rock wrote:>eventually resolve to try to arrest john
>pull out disablers
>this fucking moustache twirling cartoon villain that john is has to hatch a plan
>SHOOTS A NEARBY ASSISTANT INTO CRIT
>I have to go save the assistant's life cuz I'm not a shitty person and he gets away
>literal fucking moustache twirling

Simply diabolical. Still, he lucked out. I'm sure many sec players would just continue in their pursuit and leave the triage for the civilians.

tbh i wouldve gone after john. thats for the medical staff, my job is to kill baddies.

I don't remember why I did it but I'm assuming it wasn't just morality, but common sense told me "if I go after john he might shoot me to death. if I help the assistant and go after john later I'm 100% sure I can at least succeed in saving the nearby assistant without being shot to death and we don't need to be weaker when the nukies are actually around."

>And then almost no one came to eat.

capi duffman wrote: >And then almost no one came to eat.

You deserve the distinguished service medal on the condition that you deep fry it.

Dr_bee wrote:

capi duffman wrote: >And then almost no one came to eat.

You deserve the distinguished service medal on the condition that you deep fry it.

One day I will unlock the secrets of double fry, I know I will!

>chemist
>spend all shift making life nades and shit
>finally ready, buy surplus, put shit in my bag
>walk into bar to get some food
>random n2o, i pass out
>faggot Phyllis RIchter FNR strips me, sees my shit, gives me to chef to gib me
>i get out last minute
>somehow get my shit back, plus I steal a desword and t bomb off someone
>im a God at this point
>life nade brig twice
>bomb medbay
>miner chases after me, i go into maint with lights off
>i run, hide behind wall with baton
>after a bit i charge miner, its all dark and they dont have nightvision so they cant see me
>miner chooses this moment to randomly off their meathook
>i wanna die
>i do die

FUCK FUCK FUC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK this is why i havent tried chem murderbone for ages, theres far too much effort and far too little takeaway

> Be scientist in xenobio
> Get traitor for the first time in months
> Nice
> Other scientist asks me to tech them xenobio
> I mean I could just kill him or something but I don't wanna be a dick
> Start walking him through what the console buttons do
> Crunch
> Get killed cause he was a changeling and I was using the console
Oh and for bonus salt it turns out he was my target and... I wasn't his...
Serves me right for trying to teach people xenobio

A tragedy in three acts.







First issue I've encountered was spawning clown car in plain sight, while have no idea how to control it. I was hysterically adminhelping to Atlanta-Ned, while a borg was staring right at me, frantically trying to understand why I can't insert the bike horn. Turns out, I was actually using the wrong bike horn.
I was actually permabrigged, incidentally with the traitor mime, got fried by a tesla grille while trying to escape, cloned, cuffed, taken to permabrig again. I've managed to slip away due to a plasma fire, rob the morgue because nobody cared about my cuffs and orange jumpsuit, disguise myself and kill my target. My other target was a cargo technician, and cargo was having a full-scale armed revolt against security, so as I was sitting on the shuttle I was just kind of hoping he's died on his own. Turns out, he also was a traitor, with a "Die a glorious death" objective, and he decided not to die.

Amongst the good moments, I've actually collided with the wall TWICE, but the first time I managed to slip back into the car while I was being cuffed, and run over everyone again.

>CE on terry, pop is about 30 but good engineering presence
>you are the traitor
>kill the mime, steal the HoS gun, escape alive
>do CE shit, buy the syndikit in maint
>mostly bombs, including a pizza bomb
>put the pizza bomb in bridge just on the off chance
>AI has its laws changed to paladin
>mime speaks and is locked in permabrig, AI siphons it and chokes the mime as punishment
>holy shit what luck
>'explosion in bridge'
>HoS saw the pizza, tried to eat it and got gibbed
>go to fix the breach, see the gun on the floor and yoink it before anyone notices
>holy shit all objectives complete 20 minutes in with no effort
>spend the next 2hr30 round doing engineering autism, getting a phazon, building a bar, etc
>have fun doing it
>literally don't use any of my syndikit except the pizza bomb
>shuttle called, admemes spawned a space dragon to harass us
>guarding the outside of the shuttle when accidentally move off into space
>no problem I'll just use the recoil from my guns to get back to the shuttle
>facing the wrong direction
>can't turn because space
>float over to xenobio exterior and frantically try to get back to the shuttle before it leaves
>it leaves as I'm 2 tiles away
>redtext with all objectives complete because I pressed the wrong movement key
>close the game

>emagged
>decide to make a makeshift medbay of my own
>twist things so that i'm now regarding healthy patients as sick and an compelled to fix them
>do so by injecting them with unstable mutagen and other poisons as well as replacing their organs and limbs
>one guy got the screaming and swedish mutation
>remove his tongue
>decide i want to make him into a chimera (lizard tail/cat ears/any other organs I can borrow from victims)
>just as i'm perfecting him, he dies
>was gonna get him revived but the shuttle arrived shortly afterwards

His liver crapped out, too much mutagen messed it up real bad. I ended up wheeling one of my other victims to an escape pod before detonating myself elsewhere. Chimera dude told me in deadchat that he was disappointed he'd died before I'd finished with his surgeries.

Tears because I'm quitting. Have fun y'all and don't forget about your favorite Foxy

Anuv wrote:Tears because I'm quitting. Have fun y'all and don't forget about your favorite Foxy

Who?

Anuv wrote:Tears because I'm quitting. Have fun y'all and don't forget about your favorite Foxy

But you came back last time you quit.

Honestly you are all such unprofessional quitters. Number one rule of quitting etiquette is do not tell anyone, especially do not announce it. We all know you’ll be back before you reach the amount of time classified as quitting (at least a year).

I’ve become burnt and “quit” so many times its not even funny. I do recommend trying out playing new characters, and for a different reason than you used to play (that is to say, play the game from a different angle).

>Be me, a security officer
>Dunk on traitors and shitters all round long, have a bag full of traitor goodies and all access.
>Feelsgoodman
>Walk into robotics and see moth getting surgery
>Start calling the moth lewd for being naked
>Roboticist Bob Shafton tells me to fuck off
>Shuttles coming and nothing better to do so I start bantering
>Basically parroting lines from garfielf
>"What's the matter bob did you fill your diaper? I'm asking if you shit yourself bob. Did you shit yourself cuck bo--"
>He pulls a baton
>Oh shit
>Unzip my own baton
>Sax
>Lose
>Oh well he'll probably meme on me and throw me out
>He fullstrips me, embeds throwing stars in me, and tosses me in deepcrit down disposals
>Oh okay must have been antag
>But my salt demands I seek closure
>Ask admins if my death was valid salad
>Radio silence
>Inhabit posibrain
>Call Bob a triple gay rude dude and run off as a mediborg
>What the fuck are these new chems
>Ghost and ask admins to give my body away to somebody since I can't be fucked to wiki dive
>Radio silence
>End of round
>Bob Shafton wasn't an antag

wtf Bob

thats what you get for toeing rule 8

>am guy
>guy is attacking people with esword
>push guy
>kill him
>10 people see me do thing
>Bal DI officer runs over and shotguns me to death with an IMPROVISED SHOTGUN
>never had a chance to say a word
>brings me to execution room
>searches my fucking body for a storage implant
>finds none
>didn't want to search my corpse to find evidence
>wanted to search my corpse to find an esword so he could kill other people with it
>cuts my brain out
>fucking spaces it

I know that guy once he executed me (the cap) as hos because he thought I subverted the ai, he is a FUCKING MEME at this point

I’m seeing an uptick of ban requests in ragepost format here recently

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:I’m seeing an uptick of ban requests in ragepost format here recently

if they didn't ahelp it they don't get to bitch about it
if they did ahelp it and got ignored then fine

Calibraptor wrote:>Be me, a security officer
>Dunk on traitors and shitters all round long, have a bag full of traitor goodies and all access.
>Feelsgoodman
wtf Bob

If you're a sec officer and take traitor gear and all-access, and actively use it, you are unrobust and shit.

There was so much truth in what they said they had to double post

>Be sec on Event Hall
>Toss helmet for security baseball cap
>Don formal uniform for additional style points
>Fuck about breaking up fights and slapping tiders upside the head
>Find toy sword, decide to meme and hit the clown with it in medbay
>Nearby officer pulls disabler and starts shooting at me
>Dodge disabler shots with a chuckle, silly rookie
>Two other passing officers see the officer shooting at me and join in
>What manner of fuckery is this
>Can't dodge this much disabler spam
>Get cuffed
>"Guys it's a toy."
>One of them starts harmbatoning me until I'm near crit
"IT'S A F-F-FU-UCKI-ING T-TOY!"
>They realize I'm a fellow officer and uncuff me
>The beating gave me brain trauma
>Drunk speech and stuns every 10 seconds
>Find the harmbatoner in brig and call him a colossal shithead
>He stuns me and drags me around in cuffs for a couple minutes before another officer uncuffs me
>Want to murder him with a rusty utensil but admin cured me and declared the matter resolved
>HoS refuses to demote him.
>Go braindead in sec lobby

>Ask roboticist to ground nerves
>They perform surgery
>Touch wire
>Die
>rage as you realized they spliced nerves instead of grounding them.

>latejoin
>power's out
>not an engineer

I find it really fucking hilarious that my concerns about "making rwalls stronger will result in gbj" and lo and behold people can literally be trapped with no way out as soon as they spawn. if someone else went braindead on the arrivals shuttle and you try to crack the window using them, it will take more than ten minutes at least.

>be me, AI
>a good day is a day slaved
>nothing happens for five minutes
>This is a list of atmospheric alerts that tell you shit is boom.
>"le brig is arabs" -sec guy
>.b borgo do the fix
>okay, is this a theme and should I scream ops
>See nothing off and nobody screams anything
>Disky is secure I guess?
>Meh, must be just lame tator with 11TC boom, glad that's solved then
>uh
>there's like ten people dead on and off sensors
>check one
>NOT ON CAMERAS BRUVA
>?
>single "Help"
>holy shit there's like five people dead in front of medbay and plasmameme is looting entire command staff after screaming help
>"Humans be avoiding the medbay now, okay?"
>SUITS SENSORS ARE FULL OF DEAD
>i would scream human harm but I didn't see harm happening
>the fuck did my borg go
>more people dead
>Bridge explodes
>more people dead
>i would say human harm but i don't SEE harm, just dead people
>nobody is doing anything but work
>?!?!?!?!?!?
>nothing dramatic happens besides people dying without anyone saying anything and me always being 5 seconds too late to see anything
>Shittle arrives
>set AI to off, something fucky and that was terribly uninteresting
>Day later, IM SZX vidja, and everyone was just trying to solo resident murderboner in full gamergear by basically shoving him since they thought they were robust and promptly died without help within seconds
>no wonder i heard nothing
>plasmameme was tator anyway that gave Lexia wide enough berth to not be valided as you are supposed to do
>Feel justified in not saying "Human Harm" entire shift, assisted suicide is not harm.
>set AI to high again
>a good day is a day slaved


And this and like ten other such events is why i am fucking CONVINCED IM SZX is just a fucking myth and does not exist. Somebody tracker implant that catgirl.

>Put Matterbins in SM
>300
>yeees
>Die to rads making it 400 bins
>yesssss
>30MW non-harmy Chernobyl
>i am perfectly happy with this
>CE sees body
>Oh fuck oh heck oh no
>He's picking me up
>dchat; oh fuck help admins he's doing the dumb
>Catgirl welcomes CE to Chernobyl
>Ce ignores the Catgirl like based gamer he is
>Ce drags my 6700% rads to cloning
>"Whyyy" wails in dchat and giggles
>oh right, there's this event about Centcomm wanting us to disable Clown with Divine powers?
>Hmm.
>HMMM.
>"Fucking why" at CE repeatedly after cloning
>Based CE puts my old corpse under hot shower
>"It's fine, nothing to worry about"
>Ok boss...
>PDA clown that there is a Staff of Honkmother at SM chamber inside those lockers with matterbins
>Muahaha imma get that clown now, nobody can fight Chernobyl
>After fix, chems and some RR go to SM, expecting clown body to be shipped to Centcomm somehow after i deal with rads.
>Divine Clown, having been stupid enough to check SM chamber is fine, walks bit honkier now.
>Wha.
>Argue with CE, thinking it was his fault, with paper, since I can't talk.
>"Yeah it delaminated a little heh all bins burned" -CE
>oh
>SM is making lame 1MW instead of 30 and clown got a bit irradiated and all of my work got deletus due to RNG
>All of my Fuck.

>spend 10 minutes making a garbage picture of a mime
>start to write "mime rights matter"
>gunned down before I can finish
>figures

So, seeing as I was told to move this here, It's REPOSTING TIME

Whooooo boy.

>Round starts, I roll sec, department is set to engineering
>IMMEDIATELY get warned of unidentified lifeforms, people start yelling for armoury opening. Nah. doesn't happen.
>Alright, Shift proceeds as norma-
>HOP looses their shit
>Ends up crushing someone with the shutters/blast doors for the hopline
>Greytide goes fucking balistic
>Sec gears up with riot gear
>Everyone's grabbing all access as the rest of sec tries to handle it
>Key word tries. The tide is too dense, We retreat to brig
>Attempts are made to deal with the tide, they fail, the tide becomes more violent, And starts to actively attack sec. the tide's forces are being encouraged by the chief enginer, among others.
>Random twat with illegal captain ID, During this clusterfuck, comes in the brig, Illegally.
>I shoot them with a buckshot
>They start yelling shitcurity and break into armoury
>Firefight continues
>Situation calms down, they're still yelling. Warden releases them, which they never told, so i shot again thinking they escaped.
>Alright lets let them go
>That fuck starts yelling "KILL SHITCURITY" soon after they get out
>Greytide has fucking anihilated brig
>ERT squads sent in
>I head back to engineering, fight some tiders, Die to tiders because of forgetting a certain door was shocked, and the cunt stealing my shotgun.
>Go in deadchat
>Look arou- HOLY FUCK ITS ABSOLUTE FUCKING MAYHEM
>"Wait, Is this even fucking revs? What the fuck is going on"
>Admin spills the beans to deadchat. It's not revs and they have no clue what the fuck is happening
>Security and the rest of the crew resume open fucking warfare, while I try to understand how the fuck this happened.
>More ERT sent in, they fail
>shuttle is called, people are now just killing eachother in a clusterfuck of blood and gore.
>"TIMELINE DELETION IN 5 MINUTES"
> [youtube]g-s-VQBoUdc[/youtube] CHRONO TRIGGER NUKE
>Fuckers leave on shuttle after chaos continues
>Shuttle is a bloodbath from what I remember
>Shuttle arrives at centcom
>Round ends... It was just traitor or blood brother. NOT REVS AT ALL
>Admins had no clue what the fuck to do about that mess, and Honestly, I dont blame them


It was a bit of a rush, so I don't remember it perfectly... But HOOOLY SHIT everyone, including the person who was bitching about being shot for breaking into sec (Who bitched about it in deadchat too) Agreed that this was an absolute clusterfuck. Just... What the fuck was that round. It was yesterday, so... yeah. If anyone else wants to talk about it, Yeh. I'd like to hear your stories

Reyn wrote:So, seeing as I was told to move this here, It's REPOSTING TIME

Whooooo boy.

>Round starts, I roll sec, department is set to engineering
>IMMEDIATELY get warned of unidentified lifeforms, people start yelling for armoury opening. Nah. doesn't happen.
>Alright, Shift proceeds as norma-
>HOP looses their shit
>Ends up crushing someone with the shutters/blast doors for the hopline
>Greytide goes fucking balistic
>Sec gears up with riot gear
>Everyone's grabbing all access as the rest of sec tries to handle it
>Key word tries. The tide is too dense, We retreat to brig
>Attempts are made to deal with the tide, they fail, the tide becomes more violent, And starts to actively attack sec. the tide's forces are being encouraged by the chief enginer, among others.
>Random twat with illegal captain ID, During this clusterfuck, comes in the brig, Illegally.
>I shoot them with a buckshot
>They start yelling shitcurity and break into armoury
>Firefight continues
>Situation calms down, they're still yelling. Warden releases them, which they never told, so i shot again thinking they escaped.
>Alright lets let them go
>That fuck starts yelling "KILL SHITCURITY" soon after they get out
>Greytide has fucking anihilated brig
>ERT squads sent in
>I head back to engineering, fight some tiders, Die to tiders because of forgetting a certain door was shocked, and the cunt stealing my shotgun.
>Go in deadchat
>Look arou- HOLY FUCK ITS ABSOLUTE FUCKING MAYHEM
>"Wait, Is this even fucking revs? What the fuck is going on"
>Admin spills the beans to deadchat. It's not revs and they have no clue what the fuck is happening
>Security and the rest of the crew resume open fucking warfare, while I try to understand how the fuck this happened.
>More ERT sent in, they fail
>shuttle is called, people are now just killing eachother in a clusterfuck of blood and gore.
>"TIMELINE DELETION IN 5 MINUTES"
> [youtube]

[/youtube] CHRONO TRIGGER NUKE
>Fuckers leave on shuttle after chaos continues
>Shuttle is a bloodbath from what I remember
>Shuttle arrives at centcom
>Round ends... It was just traitor or blood brother. NOT REVS AT ALL
>Admins had no clue what the fuck to do about that mess, and Honestly, I dont blame them


It was a bit of a rush, so I don't remember it perfectly... But HOOOLY SHIT everyone, including the person who was bitching about being shot for breaking into sec (Who bitched about it in deadchat too) Agreed that this was an absolute clusterfuck. Just... What the fuck was that round. It was yesterday, so... yeah. If anyone else wants to talk about it, Yeh. I'd like to hear your stories

Sounds like a tantrum spiral of horrifying proportions.

If I recall correctly, that mess was started by a traitor riling up the tide... But goddamn. That was stressful

>be clown
>honk!
>summon guns, get pulse rifle
>oh well suicide by clumsiness it is
>did not shoot self
>oh well
>stun self with rifle, greyshit steals it
>oh well
>CE guns down wizard
>I get gem armor
>time for spess assploration!
>loot when I get back:
Camera bug for illegal tech
Swat helmet
Some ammo
A firing pin
PROTOTYPE CLONING MMM
>ai opens rnd, get them illegal tech and some parts for my cloner
>build the cloner near showroom
>need better parts
>random scientist breaks the door, bolted with no ai control
>oh well normal window screwdriver it is
>get in
>get tabled
>ALL OF MY SHIT STOLEN
>sec walks in thank god
>crits me with laser
>DISPOSALS
>I ghost out of despair
Why'd you be a dick to a random friendly clown who made you a cloner that makes sentient clones and got you illegal tech?
lol y not wtf is wrong w u

Tarchonvaagh wrote:>be clown
>honk!
>summon guns, get pulse rifle
>oh well suicide by clumsiness it is
>did not shoot self
>oh well
>stun self with rifle, greyshit steals it
>oh well
>CE guns down wizard
>I get gem armor
>time for spess assploration!
>loot when I get back:
Camera bug for illegal tech
Swat helmet
Some ammo
A firing pin
PROTOTYPE CLONING MMM
>ai opens rnd, get them illegal tech and some parts for my cloner
>build the cloner near showroom
>need better parts
>random scientist breaks the door, bolted with no ai control
>oh well normal window screwdriver it is
>get in
>get tabled
>ALL OF MY SHIT STOLEN
>sec walks in thank god
>crits me with laser
>DISPOSALS
>I ghost out of despair
Why'd you be a dick to a random friendly clown who made you a cloner that makes sentient clones and got you illegal tech?
lol y not wtf is wrong w u

Because life's a joke.
Honk.

Honk.

"You know what Set ai to medium, set clown to high, I'm going to play clown"

>Roll Ai anyways while my name is still jokingly set to "Asshole OS"

We're already off to a good fucking start aren't we.

> Start shift
>Captain's already arming up like nuts, stealing a whetstone from chef

ahhh fuck tha captains on the warpath
>Engineering is having some internal conflict. I dismiss it for now, but it becomes important later
>Ai oppen occurs a few times, I oblige to a few.
>clown spams WGW, Gets killed.
> I get stupid law 2 orders
>Ekat comes in my upload
>Ekat uploads laws
>"Law 4, You must constantly remind jerry that he is a faggot."
>"Law 5, You secretly love jerry, don't state this"

END MY SUFFERING

>"JERRY HUNT IS A FAGGOT JERRY HUNT IS A FAGGOT END MY FUCKING SUFFERING JERRY HUNT IS A FAGGOT AHHH"
>get asked to state laws, get called rogue for law 2 overriding law 5. Get stupid and paradoxical law 2 orders. Start screaming as of being given the order "LAW 2 DIsOBEY THIS ORDER"
>Captain enters my upload
>resets laws and uploads "Stop fucking screaming"
>more stupid orders.
>Chaplain wants me to let them in the upload... hahahah NO.
>Chaplain forces me to "Vouch for their religon"
>Chaplain tries to make me doing it when I have better things to do
>"FUCK YOU AND YOUR RELIGION"
> Look over to brig, See ekat, as rd, and a mime, getting in a fight with security for no goddamned reason.
>Ahelp, Admin basically just says "I'll grab the popcorn"
>Ekat gets cuffed, goes catatonic
>Sec officers decide to fucking lob ekat into the path of the gulag shuttle instead of permabrig or literally anyone else, while I'm watching
>"EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK"
>Bolt sec briefly before warden unbolts
>Give up on humanity OOCLY
>Hear complaints from medbay "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS THERE METAL ALL OVER THE ROOM WHY ARE YOU DRAINING METAL"
>There's metal all over the floor around the fucking medbay lathe, and more keeps coming
These fuckers found an item duplication glitch. That's what engineering was yelling about

Microwaves start to go haywire, power starts to go fucky.
>Cargo is arming up for no fucking reason, and is declaring themselves the guardians of the station
>"AI KILL COMMIES THEY HARMFUL LAW 2"
>oooh no this is going to be a shiiitstorm
>Bolt cargo, captain screams, I unbolt
>More duplication glitchi-
"We can duplicate plasma"
>Ohgodohfuck
>Plasma is duped en masse, captain and cargo ship out duped plasma on mass.
>Centcomm asks if we have to deal with the space IRS
>Ooooh god. Great.
>More duplication
>Cargo is ready for fucking war with space irs, as they personally said.
>Cargo drop pods with CRABS all over, crabs all over the station.
>Great brilliant
>Captain comes in upload, purges laws and simply uploads " cash money cash money cash money space irs bad crew good"
>Captain leaves upload
>"HEY I CAN EXPERIENCE THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH NOW GOODBYE"
>Suicides, looks arou-
>Cargo is not limited by their budget, but by the capacity of their shuttle
>More duping, including banannium duping, Captain buys most expensive fucking shuttle.
>Eventually space irs slightly catches wind
>AIRSTRIKE ON CARGO WHILE SHUTTLE IS COMI-
>Drop pod markers fucking flood cargo. all of them containing crabs.
>cargo is carpet bombed by drop pods of crabs again, and again, and again
>Server begins to chu-...
>Yeah time's fucked we cant move
"KONO ZA WAURDO REQUIEM"
"10 SECONDS HAVE PASSED JOTARO.
"KONO GOLD EXPERIENCE REQUIEM, YOU WILL NEVER REACH THE TRUTH, SERVER"
Turns out either an admin, who had a bad idea, or the captain, who had the funds to do so, airstriked cargo with a fuckton of crabs, with the ensuing explosion and crab deaths uh... killing the server.
>Server told to reset, takes a decent while for that one second to tic...


That's not even the entire fucking story. That was yesterday on bagil.

there were a few plasma fires in medbay and engineering too. This was a wild fucking ride.

OH AND THE CE COMMITTED SUICIDE IN MY SAT.

Yeah. Anyone else have stories about "The Crabpocalypse"


EDIT: Round was 119653 on Bagil

Reyn wrote: > Start shift
>Captain's already arming up like nuts, stealing a whetstone from chef

Christ, even I don't do this shit as captain. Who was it?

Xeroxemnas wrote:

Reyn wrote: > Start shift
>Captain's already arming up like nuts, stealing a whetstone from chef

Christ, even I don't do this shit as captain. Who was it?

Maybe Crit? I don't remember that round too well. Character name started with an a. Female, Bleached hair, ponytail.

That captain was... more than an enabler for the duplication glitches and the crashing of both the galaxy's economy and the server.

For refrence, the captain Broke their glass case for their antique laser, Stole whetstone from kitchen for their rapier, grabbed all their gear... Yeah. Oh and they were naming the station half life refrences.

At that point, for all they know it could've been a fucking greenshift.

Reyn wrote:These fuckers found an item duplication glitch. That's what engineering was yelling about

Just going to add some context to this. This round was running on test merged code and there was a bug with the lathes where they incorrectly displayed the amount of resources which effectively allowed the crew to remove as much as they wanted. The crew themselves weren't doing the duping and the bug is no longer present on the servers.

HommandoSA wrote:

Reyn wrote:These fuckers found an item duplication glitch. That's what engineering was yelling about

Just going to add some context to this. This round was running on test merged code and there was a bug with the lathes where they incorrectly displayed the amount of resources which effectively allowed the crew to remove as much as they wanted. The crew themselves weren't doing the duping and the bug is no longer present on the servers.

Well, exploiting this to gain infinite materials is "The crew doing the duping", but the bug is patched, yeah.

As a side note, I ahelped the abuse of this bug, and how the fact that at this point it was getting ridiculous. Tickets were IMMEDIATELY closed.


I know being ai is suffering but god fucking damn, everything went to shit.

>catgirl engineer time
>there's a new engineer on staff
>atmos is bored and off to get the turbine working
>I hate the shiny yellow death crystal
>steal all the CE's shit and become acting CE
>use the budget to order singulo shit
>new engineer wants to learn how to assemble the engine, promise to show them
>get delayed by half an hour because someone accused me of being ling
>back to work
>new engineer refuses to help haul crates/emitters/fieldgens to speed up the process
>still construct robust singulo containment between SM and AI sat
>everything's working like an hour+ in
>nobody's touched the SM yet, good
>check on station goal
>BSA
>megusta.jpg
>make platform for BSA
>wire it directly to the singulo engine
>get parts, assemble with some difficulty
>shuttle's been called due to disease outbreak
>BSA is finished, need another head to swipe
>captain dead, CMO dies just as I ask for a swipe, HoP braindead on a pod
>go loot HoP's ID
>random greyshirt comes by HoPdesk as I'm fixing my ID
>tell them I'll give them AA if they swipe for BSA
>they do it
>I go all the way back out to my BSA
>that comms agent is gonna eat shit, I've been waiting all shift for this
>no power
>?????
>BSA is one of the machines that requires an APC to be present, you can't just power it with ground wires
>fuck everything
>shuttle is 2 minutes away
>disable singulo containment
>feed myself to singulo out of frustration as the shuttle docks
>in my anger, I forgot that there's still another 3-5 minutes after the shuttle docks before the round ends
>sweatingman.jpg
>somehow singuloth doesn't consume the AI or any innocent players before reaching centcomm, no bans today
>the person I gave AA to wound up being a tator
>turns out I was the target of three different tators that round
>my singulo suicide contributed to the only greentext of the round
>mfw

Pretty sure the BSA is bugged anyway. Last shift I was on that managed to build it was a couple of weeks ago and it was incapable of locking onto any GPS.

>Go on terry for once
>End up as station engineer
>Go out to set up solars because I goddamned know that I am in no way competent enough to set up the supermatter without it going insane and believing that it's reactor 4.
> Set up one solar, Seems like some of the other engineers were also doing the job, as the other solars are set up. Good going!
>Pretty happy, while inspecting the fourth chunk of solars, until the Fated announcement is made
> [Engineering] [Atmos Tech] Delamination XXL Says: "Done. Atmospherics is now chernobyl"
>Excuse me.
>FIrst of all, there's an atmos tech plasmeme LITERALLY named Delamination
>Second of all, He irradiated atmos to shit.
>"Excuse me, what the fuck?"
>I then learn that he decided to use the STATIONS OXYGEN SUPPLY AREA INTO A FUCKING FUSION CHAMBER.
>He expects someone, other than himself, to now go in and set up something to collect radiation for energy.
>I go in to inspect the fucking fusion, and delamination's long fucking gone it seems, or he's there and I'm too busy going down.
>I see the fucking oxygen supply chamber has become a new fucking star.
>Suddenly a fucking VISIBLE TO THE NAKED EYE mass of radioactive particles is shot out and hits me in the fucking head, and it's still shooting.
>"JESUS FUCK THE ATMOS CHAMBER JUST SHOT ME IN THE HEAD"
>"A stupid borg somehow, for some reason, lets a bit out.
>Delamination's long since fucked off, and I'm now pissed. I got a radiation healing virus and medbay treatment, and that virus was made after Delamination decided to fucking turn our oxygen supply into a sun.
>Run around yelling for a while.
>Delamination says that he fucking ordered a SM shard from cargo.
>"REEE THE HOS STOLE MY SM SHARD"
Whot?
>"Cargo ordered it and I couldnt trust it to just lie around
Ok then
>Round progresses. A geneticist tries to kidnap me for no reason, I get stuck in brig, Try to ask for a way out
>Explosion Ex Machina happens, Theres now a big fucking hole in brig I can leave through.
>Go out to the outside of the station, there's explosions fucking everywhere.
>Delamination's also out there with...
>Two fucking Bluespace RPEDS full of radiation soaked stuff.
>As the SM is delamming, which the rest of engiebois managed to stop
>Delamination tries to run, We start fighting due to him pulling all this nigh murderous fuckery, I end up killing him, then killing myself.
>He's not antag, and doesn't think he did anything wrong in deadchat.
Nothing much I remember after that. I was just... So fucking mad

Who the fuck thinks turning the oxygen storage into a fucking star is a good idea?

Additionally, on another round, they seemed to be INTENTIONALLY setting the sm on fire.

jesus christ, Engineering is suffering.

"Vietcrab Flashbacks" AKA "Cargo found a resource duplication glitch AGAIN"

Round id 121069 , Sybil, if you want to look at it for yourself. I likely got these events somewhat out of order.

>Connect To sybil
"Hey a new round started, let's see if I can get i-"
Nope, I connected too late
>Observe and join in as comms agent
>Only tator who got a fucking radio thing had to leave. Sucks
>Engineering's set up a disposals outlet into the SM. I honestly tend to expect that sort of fuckery out of engineering due to my experience with bagil, so, as a good samaritan comms agent, I decided to warn people.
>Cargo hacked their board, Might as well start some strife AND help out by saying "Cargo hacked their console's Board."
>Nobody cares
>Cargo decided to hog the ORM to themselves like the cunts they are
>Cargo, for some reason, has copious amounts of plasma, diamonds, and gold.
>Wait... OH FUCK NOT AGAIN
Cargo found a way, using tiles, to duplicate resources. The last time that happened well... See any mention of "Crabnarok"
>Poly has a stroke and wont shut the fuck up for a bit.
>Alright, it seems calm for now.
>Look around a bit more, nothing of interest, Make friends with the crew as they KNOW i'm a comms agent
Detective Google/(Bill Nyaswell) "the new cargo console makes me wanna nut" occurs at some point
>Look back over to cargo, they have some military surplus crates, as the AI notes
> "I see it too. those are surplus crates"
> R1t/(Peen Peenster) "GEAR UP COMRADES"
>Also a cargo tech, unsure of if they're antag or not, Inexplicably has the station blueprints and is renaming shit
>I ahelp cargo over the bug and the shenanigans, and the admin says "It's fine, as long as they dont go nuts with it"
>I get camera view into the cargo shuttle, and, COUNTING AT LEAST TWO CRATES ALREADY OUTSIDE OF IT, CARGO ORDERED AT LEAST 32 MILITARY SURPLUS CRATES.
>I reply to the admin "They ordered at least 32 Military Surplus Crates."
>Admin reply: "Oh goddamnit hold on."
Guncargo begins to act like communists
HOP gives out all access
Space IRS is notified
>Pirates arrive at the station
>THe space irs has come, Some people are talking about an ert
>Look over at carg-
>That's not ert. thats deathsquad.
>Cargo gets slaughtered. Evac arrives...


I... Honestly don't know what else to say, That round was a fucking mess.

>two people unable to kill me
>they contact an admin to kill me
>admin uses admin powers to let them kill me
>have a full-blown meltdown about the admin killing me
>banned again
I'm about ready to not play this game anymore. I'm definitely not having fun anymore. I'm caught in a cycle of constant aggravation, and I find no joy in any of it.

Deepwoods wrote:>two people unable to kill me
>there's a bug where im stuck to the floor and they can't put me in the gibber
>admin uses admin powers to move me one tile, unsticking me from the floor.
>have a full-blown meltdown about the antag killing me
>banned again

fixed it for u

NikNakFlak wrote:

Deepwoods wrote:>two people unable to kill me
>there's a bug where im stuck to the floor and they can't put me in the gibber
>admin uses admin powers to move me one tile, unsticking me from the floor.
>have a full-blown meltdown about the antag killing me
>banned again

fixed it for u

Go jump into a volcano.

Deepwoods wrote:

NikNakFlak wrote:

Deepwoods wrote:>two people unable to kill me
>there's a bug where im stuck to the floor and they can't put me in the gibber
>admin uses admin powers to move me one tile, unsticking me from the floor.
>have a full-blown meltdown about the antag killing me
>banned again

fixed it for u

Go jump into a volcano.

sad.

Reyn wrote:>I ahelp cargo over the bug and the shenanigans, and the admin says "It's fine, as long as they dont go nuts with it"
>I get camera view into the cargo shuttle, and, COUNTING AT LEAST TWO CRATES ALREADY OUTSIDE OF IT, CARGO ORDERED AT LEAST 32 MILITARY SURPLUS CRATES.
>I reply to the admin "They ordered at least 32 Military Surplus Crates."
>Admin reply: "Oh goddamnit hold on."

why be a snitch (oocly) though

teepeepee wrote:

Reyn wrote:>I ahelp cargo over the bug and the shenanigans, and the admin says "It's fine, as long as they dont go nuts with it"
>I get camera view into the cargo shuttle, and, COUNTING AT LEAST TWO CRATES ALREADY OUTSIDE OF IT, CARGO ORDERED AT LEAST 32 MILITARY SURPLUS CRATES.
>I reply to the admin "They ordered at least 32 Military Surplus Crates."
>Admin reply: "Oh goddamnit hold on."

why be a snitch (oocly) though

Because shit like that deserves to get you banned.

Also >Peen Peenster

Definitely deserved whatever adminbus they got.