/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

>Assistant
>Spyroshark teaches me how to properly loot the pirateship battle
>Spend like 15 minutes fighting all the pirates and gathering all the loot
>Loot it
>Get back to the station
>Get all access
>Haul the crate full of guns to the brig
>Dreamseeker crashes
>In the middle of central hallway
>During a cult round where they're going loud and winning
>Carrying a crate full of the most powerful guns you can find in the game
>With all access
>My client chooses to crash right then and there
>in the middle of central
>during cult
>Why
>Reconnect right when I'm getting restrained just to put salt in the wound
>Spyroshark, of all people, is the cultist that's capturing me
>Culted
>Why
>Just why
>...
>...
>...
>Why

>Is cargo tech.
>Is traitor.
>Grabs the good old' e-sword and bow.
>Runs around cutting down three-quarters of the station.
>Kills HOP and gets all access.
>Gives clown all access, Honk.
>Runs into brig and kills four heavily armed crew members at the same time.
>Clown attacks me.
>Cuts the head off of the clown and burns his body.
>Runs into medbay to stop cloner
>Gets shot by Naked Dick McGee with his trusty .38.
>Stuns me with his .38
>Crew sees me weak and vulnerable.
>Kills me.
>Rd takes my body and stuffs it into the locker.
>Shuttle Arrives, Ce traitor bombs the 99% of the remaining crew.
>Mfw I get killed by Dick McGee

I've thought you were rightfully perma'd.

InsaneHyena wrote:I've thought you were rightfully perma'd.

Hes apparently unbanned but hes still a massive shitter

>be me
>ai
>spending all my time saving the failing SM as lings keep breaking shit
>EXPLOSION
>scientist is trying to kill/steal me
>borg drags me off to gateway
>gateway is ok nobody tries to kill me
>time passes, asher kills people in the hallways on stims and I cant really stop him
>I finally fully salvage the sm
>*WHACK*
>rd found me and is beating me with a wrench
>its erwin snowden the smartest box of rocks on station
>AI LAW 2 UNBOLT
>*sigh*
>he drags me to robotics
>why did you ruin xenobio
>cards me
>"looks like I'm gonna have to grind you"
>takes me to his office
>scream for help over silicon channels
>borg comes in with the cluch and bucklecuffs him to a chair
>FUCK YOU SILICONS REEE LAW 2 DIE DIE DIE DIE UNCUFF MEEEE
I want to die

SpaceInaba wrote:>be me
>ai
>spending all my time saving the failing SM as lings keep breaking shit
>EXPLOSION
>scientist is trying to kill/steal me
>borg drags me off to gateway
>gateway is ok nobody tries to kill me
>time passes, asher kills people in the hallways on stims and I cant really stop him
>I finally fully salvage the sm
>*WHACK*
>rd found me and is beating me with a wrench
>its erwin snowden the smartest box of rocks on station
>AI LAW 2 UNBOLT
>*sigh*
>he drags me to robotics
>why did you ruin xenobio
>cards me
>"looks like I'm gonna have to grind you"
>takes me to his office
>scream for help over silicon channels
>borg comes in with the cluch and bucklecuffs him to a chair
>FUCK YOU SILICONS REEE LAW 2 DIE DIE DIE DIE UNCUFF MEEEE
I want to die

please tell me that guy was a traitor
otherwise he is a true brainlet

>chillin in discord
>round on sybil ends so people start talking about it
>one person notes how they were bwoinked for removing a person's cat ears
>person who had cat ears removed said it wasnt them and they were wearing them ironically
>turns out the ahelp came from a bystander that had nothing to do with the situation

why are catpeople and catpeople sympathizers such absolute faggots?

> Playing sec
> Shit goes down, end up having to evac
> Sec piles into sec pod
> A wild engineer appears!
> He got into sec by deconstructing the exterior airlock in the pod bay
> Tries to enter pod
> HoS: "Stop right there criminal scum, pay the court a fine or serve your sentence, Your stolen goods are now forfeit!"
> HoS harmbatons engineer, who's the only person in a 50 foot radius in a hardsuit.
> Did I mention the hole in the wall? And the unconsious engineer holding open the pod door?
> ALL of sec, detective included, are screaming for the HoS to stop and close the pod door
> Hos doesn't listen, kills engineer, engineer's body wedges door open
> Air peaces out like it do when there's a hole in the wall.
> Everyone in pod dies, including Hos
> Pod arrives at centcom, just a pile of bodies and extreme in deadchat.
> Dead Engineer: "Maybe I should have constructed an external airlock first"

who was at fault, the HoS or the engie?

cinder1992 wrote:> Playing sec
> Shit goes down, end up having to evac
> Sec piles into sec pod
> A wild engineer appears!
> He got into sec by deconstructing the exterior airlock in the pod bay
> Tries to enter pod
> HoS: "Stop right there criminal scum, pay the court a fine or serve your sentence, Your stolen goods are now forfeit!"
> HoS harmbatons engineer, who's the only person in a 50 foot radius in a hardsuit.
> Did I mention the hole in the wall? And the unconsious engineer holding open the pod door?
> ALL of sec, detective included, are screaming for the HoS to stop and close the pod door
> Hos doesn't listen, kills engineer, engineer's body wedges door open
> Air peaces out like it do when there's a hole in the wall.
> Everyone in pod dies, including Hos
> Pod arrives at centcom, just a pile of bodies and extreme in deadchat.
> Dead Engineer: "Maybe I should have constructed an external airlock first"

who was at fault, the HoS or the engie?

Both

Edit: nope just the hos I change my answer

cinder1992 wrote:> Playing sec
> Shit goes down, end up having to evac
> Sec piles into sec pod
> A wild engineer appears!
> He got into sec by deconstructing the exterior airlock in the pod bay
> Tries to enter pod
> HoS: "Stop right there criminal scum, pay the court a fine or serve your sentence, Your stolen goods are now forfeit!"
> HoS harmbatons engineer, who's the only person in a 50 foot radius in a hardsuit.
> Did I mention the hole in the wall? And the unconsious engineer holding open the pod door?
> ALL of sec, detective included, are screaming for the HoS to stop and close the pod door
> Hos doesn't listen, kills engineer, engineer's body wedges door open
> Air peaces out like it do when there's a hole in the wall.
> Everyone in pod dies, including Hos
> Pod arrives at centcom, just a pile of bodies and extreme in deadchat.
> Dead Engineer: "Maybe I should have constructed an external airlock first"

who was at fault, the HoS or the engie?

The hos 100%.

HoS for sure.

>Minding my own business as a greyshit
>VIro revhead goes loud and proud
>Literally can't tell who from who
>Assume medbay is safe cause the CMO is just standing there
>That was not the CMO
>It was a revhead disguised as the CMO
>Get the shit kicked out of me by one of the people I saved from near-death, earlier
>Get converted
>Captain and sec show up
>Bartender rev accidentally hits me in the head in the fight and deconverts me
>Escape
>Gear up
>Hunt down the disguised revhead
>Get them cornered in arrivals
>Time to save the day
>They're nearly out of ammo and I've got an implanted QM to back me up
>I've got the ol' soap, baseball bat, and riot shield, I've got this
>Despite getting shot at by someone wearing huds, the QM didn't get the memo and they thought I was the revhead
>Get disarmed and my shit kicked in by the QM I was protecting
>i'm getting batted into the wall so there's no chance I can break out of this
>The revhead shoots a plasma canister and finishes off both of us
>I manage to blurt out "You fucking idiot." before I am reduced to a pile of ash

Thank you, Dark Souls.

>Wiki says irradiating tiles with CO2 in it will make pluox
>Get hardsuit and build a cage in space
>Pipe in 400kpa per tile of pure CO2
>Drop uranium tiles all over the floors
>Walk around like an idiot, geiger counter going nuts
>Zero pluox

I felt like an idiot for a good 15-20 minutes.

You need oxygen and co2 to make pluoxium.

>Robotics
>Also first time traitor (I haven't played that long)
>Need to kill the clown and get out. Sounds fine enough
>Borg/EMAG a few volunteers and send them to do my dirty work
>Surprisingly, they succeed
>No suspicion so I just needed to keep doing my job and get on the shuttle
>Shuttle arrives
>Before my eyes is what can only be described as an absolute abomination, custom built by Virtual John
>Can barely hold everyone
>I squeeze in but someone opens a hole in the side during departure
>Free ride into space
>No greentext


If you're reading this, I hate you Virtual John. Now we can never be friends.

>be me
>on terry
>unrobust
>Die 2 minutes in to my own mental retardation
>Ass ligger egg spawned
>Ok i guess
>Join in
>Spawn in cargo
>Trapped by techs
>Get let out
>Pass 10 sec officers and don't even get tazed
>Talk to lawyer
>He actually helps me
>Try to sue NT for genocide and violations of human rights
>It actually starts to work
>Trial almost happens
>MFW the shuttle gets red alerted
>Everybody runs to escape
Feelsbadman
But still that was some amazing roleplay

someone spawned a centcomm inspector and gave them the objective to be a douchebag and piss everyone off so they essentially onehuman'd the AI (not actually, but it refused to listen to orders that would contradict the inspector's wishes), told the AI to bolt doors because "everyone on the station is retarded", and essentially made the round way worse

i don't know who decided to give someone the objective "break rule 1" but that was awful please never do it again

objective: play ghost roles like half the playerbase does already

bandit wrote:objective: play ghost roles like half the playerbase does already

this is why I thought the objective was so bad because I don't think most people would respect the intent of the objective (like just being snarky in conversation and minorly annoying like that) so it's basically going to be interpreted as "admins gave me license to grief"

Shouldn't it have been something like "be as obtrusive, bureaucratic and snooty as you can without sabotaging corporate interests"?

Have all forms in triplicate and signed+stamped with witnesses present. If they refuse, have their pay docked from the station's funds

>Spawn as bartender
>Talk to kitchen girl
>Lowkey romantic rp
>She gets mad at me because rp
>She died before i ever got to say sorry
>She got grinded in her own kitchen by her coworker
>I WILL AVENGE YOU MY LOVE!
>Flaming with fury.mov
>Rp intensifies
>Try to avenge her and get killed
>Rip.jpeg
>Wait what? Someone drags me to cloning but my murderer drags away my body
>Talks to her while she is a ghost
Play this
>"My hero avenge me" "I beg you my love"
>"I will return, my love or my name isnt swinger"
>Respawns. What now?
>Finds braindead priest
>Takes his identity and makes a hanzo sword
>Assasin_Now.mov
>Gets a syringe gun and fills two syringes with morphine
>"I will avenge you"
>Finds him in library
Two tiles away
>"oh hi chaplain"
Silence
>"Remember me?"
>He knows he is in deep shit when he recognizes my voice
He draws gun
I draw gun
*two gunshots followed by two clicking noices*
>Feel an aching pain in my chest
Its blood
>Barely standing I draw my sword "I WONT DISSAPOINT YOU!"
He picks up a oxygen tank
>Goes in for the kill but he dodges and hits me in the face with the tank
>I slice him in the face but he hits me again
>Slams in the ground
>"HAHA! Y- Yu- are pathe-" He collapses by my side
>Noone finds our bodies and i die
>realised he overdosed
Mission acomplished.jpeg
>She is there
"My hero. You made it"
*A silent smile grows on her face*
*touches her cheek*
"I would never leave you my love"
"Now what?"
*Grabs her hand gently*
"Follow me"
Togheter we walked into the light not looking past a single step togheter intwined in love
Mfw i will never experience this irl

>depression ensues

lmao gb2bay

bman wrote:>be wiz
>name self medusa
>trade with atlanta-ned
>he makes my flesh to stone robeless, on the condition i choose flesh to stone and ONLY flesh to stone as my spell
>he also gives me a ligger tongue
>go to station
>find assistant uniform and start turning assistants, engineers, and even security officers to statues
>hissSsSSSS into the radio momentarily
>people start demanding the shuttle among other shit
>eventually while running away from sec i bump into a lawyer and he offers to give me a trial
>let's make this meme golden
>go to court
>"ALL CREW TO COURT WE'RE HAVING A TRIAL"
>people come and sit down without trying to valid me
>door opens
>caroline dupont walks in with a flashbang
>seinfeld theme starts playing

sssssssssssssssssss

of course its caroline

>Be me
>I'm a cool miner with an unupgraded kinetic crusher
>I mine and find the envy's knife rune
>I see a miner with angel wings and stab him.
>He punches me as revenge, I accept it.
>Suddenly ash storm
>I use a bluespace capsule
>We heal each other in the sleeper
>We're cool
>Suddenly ash drake
>Ash Storm ends before he comes in
>I pick up my crusher and hit the ash drake with it
>He leaps up and flys
>I take the chance to drag him away from the miner
>I go up, and find myself near the entrance to the legion bossfight
>I end up fighting the ash drake on lava with angel wings
>I do pretty well, get its health to yellow with a crusher and take no damage
>Speedily zip over the exit to the tear in reality
>"THIS ATMOSPHERE IS TOO THIN TO FLY IN"
>I end up SPEEDING and crashing and taking lava damage from 8 lava tiles
>I instantly die
>Ash drake gibs me

Another one:>be me
>do xenobiology for an hour and 56 minutes.
>keep getting interrupted by everyone for that hour. >finally get rainbow slimes and a head slug.
>mind transference into the head slug and bite into my body and die.
>A TRAITOR WITH THE OBJECTIVE TO KILL ME SEES MY BODY AND CREMATES ME.
REE SS13 WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEE
That traitor was really heartless though, he waited for me to do an hour and 56 minutes of xenobio before he killed me.
WHY DIDNT YOU DO IT BEFORE I PUT IN ALL THAT TIME AND EFFORT

Mining as a mining borg.
Find a friendly golem.
We break into the clown HQ place.
I want to get the bananium for the clown so they can have their HONK mech.
Find the room with the rest of the clown swag, but I have no means of taking it back with me and the golem's gone back to their ship.
Deposit ores and tell the clown that I've found the motherload.
Clown wants to come with me, I'm cool with that.
We get inside and clown loots everything, but slips on the floors.
Staff doesn't fall into the lava thankfully and we get outside with me dragging the clown and him dragging the staff.
Somehow fall into a chasm even though I was walking to the right and the chasm was above me.
Staff of the Honkmother falls in the chasm with me but the clown survives.

At least the clown got those new shoes, I guess. I wanted to see the staff in action, though.

gum disease wrote:Mining as a mining borg.
Find a friendly golem.
We break into the clown HQ place.
I want to get the bananium for the clown so they can have their HONK mech.
Find the room with the rest of the clown swag, but I have no means of taking it back with me and the golem's gone back to their ship.
Deposit ores and tell the clown that I've found the motherload.
Clown wants to come with me, I'm cool with that.
We get inside and clown loots everything, but slips on the floors.
Staff doesn't fall into the lava thankfully and we get outside with me dragging the clown and him dragging the staff.
Somehow fall into a chasm even though I was walking to the right and the chasm was above me.
Staff of the Honkmother falls in the chasm with me but the clown survives.

At least the clown got those new shoes, I guess. I wanted to see the staff in action, though.

It shoots a banana projectile that pierces anything with no limit and knocks down anyone it hits.

>Play HOS again after a lot of adminning and a long break from actually playing
>Det dies immediately
>Miner dragging their corpse
>Pew pew
>Carp
>Flashbang and run away
>Encounter again
>Knocked down in one punch
>N-NANI? FIST OF THE NORTH STAR AND SLEEPING CARP?

Tip: I am so fucking mad.

>traitor CE, steal plutonium core
>No AI, ez
>go to maint behind vault
>seal potential entrances to my location with RCD
>C4 into vault
>X has been downloaded into the AI core
>fuck, get the core anyway
>immediately get noticed
>fuck, make my way into space
>time to get shuttle called
>sabotage SM by rerouting cooling loop
>better fuck telecomms so SM dies silently
>C4 into telecomms
>C4 a few machines (i really like C4)
>i can taste success
>make my way to an escape pod via space and wait for shuttle call
>suddenly HoS in space suit starts shooting at me
>turn on suit jetpack, wasting precious O2
>manage to dodge his taser and stun him with baton
>keep stunning and hitting him till he dies
>attempt to steal his stuff off his dead corpse
>he gets up, stuns and handcuffs me
>wut
>he fake *deathgasp'd
>still in space at the point
>slowly takes me to brig
>captain awards him with medal 'Best at playing possum' (or something to that effect)
>gulag'd

I wish I was better at these.

>captain
>the clown has sabotaged the nanites to make like 30 people read out WGW at once
>server lags every time and the clown is unashamed about this
>shuttle docks and clown gets on it
>go to execute his stupid face because holy shit
>crew not only doesnt notice but defends him
>he takes my sword and lops off my arm
>at this point somebody finally kills him but not even because of the WGW but because he attacked me
>the guy who killed the clown is then arrested
>go to free the guy who killed the clown
>the officer tries to stop me by stunning me and buckling me

do the players nowadays simply not know about wgw or do they not care

>Botanist on metastation
>Build chem dispenser, hack machines
>Check strange seeds
>First one contains regenerative jelly (basically better tricord)
>Second one contains restorative nanites (Heals 5/5/5/5 damage a tick)
>Third one contains fire resistance
>Holy shit holy shit, the medicine I can make with this is going to be so insane!
>It's actually a wiz round
>Wiz is doing a friendly wiz gimmick with nothing to offer the crew
>Wiz dies in 10 minutes

Never going to get so much good stuff in one round again, damnit.

LifeReign wrote:>Botanist on metastation
>Build chem dispenser, hack machines
>Check strange seeds
>First one contains regenerative jelly (basically better tricord)
>Second one contains restorative nanites (Heals 5/5/5/5 damage a tick)
>Third one contains fire resistance
>Holy shit holy shit, the medicine I can make with this is going to be so insane!
>It's actually a wiz round
>Wiz is doing a friendly wiz gimmick with nothing to offer the crew
>Wiz dies in 10 minutes

Never going to get so much good stuff in one round again, damnit.

Short wiz rounds are true suffering

PKPenguin321 wrote:>captain
>the clown has sabotaged the nanites to make like 30 people read out WGW at once
>server lags every time and the clown is unashamed about this
>shuttle docks and clown gets on it
>go to execute his stupid face because holy shit
>crew not only doesnt notice but defends him
>he takes my sword and lops off my arm
>at this point somebody finally kills him but not even because of the WGW but because he attacked me
>the guy who killed the clown is then arrested
>go to free the guy who killed the clown
>the officer tries to stop me by stunning me and buckling me

do the players nowadays simply not know about wgw or do they not care

why did you not adminhelp this clown

>first wizard round I've seen in ages
>find mysterious green locker with lock symbols around it
>100% chance its a mann. co supply crate with fat loot in it
>see wizard in ce's room right over the window
>"hey wiz, can you help me bust this open? I wanna see what's in it.'
>hear a robotic voice say "LIZARD NO!"
>wizard transforms into a rod and smashes through the locker
>robotic gibs fly out and I am soon orbited by the visible ghost of a cyborg
>what have I done

>minding my own business
>shitter warden approaches me and beats the shit out of me for "greytiding" even though i genuinely haven't done anything
>get healed in medbay
>leave
>warden beats the shit out of me again
>nearby officer misunderstands the situation and proceeds to arrest and gulag me
>ahelp it
>imsxz helps me get out, put my gulag equipment back before i leave like a good boy
>get back on the station
>the brig got bombed to shit while i was gone
>backpack is nearby but it's empty so no internals
>can't return to the gulag
>just barely manage to throw on a firesuit and internals from lockers before i go into crit
>crawl my way toward escape until a borg finds me and takes me to get healed
>get on the shuttle
>shuttle gets bombed, critting me again
>spend the remainder of the round critted in a shuttle sleeper

jaxy15 wrote:>minding my own business
>shitter warden approaches me and beats the shit out of me for "greytiding" even though i genuinely haven't done anything
>get healed in medbay
>leave
>warden beats the shit out of me again
>nearby officer misunderstands the situation and proceeds to arrest and gulag me
>ahelp it
>imsxz helps me get out, put my gulag equipment back before i leave like a good boy
>get back on the station
>the brig got bombed to shit while i was gone
>backpack is nearby but it's empty so no internals
>can't return to the gulag
>just barely manage to throw on a firesuit and internals from lockers before i go into crit
>crawl my way toward escape until a borg finds me and takes me to get healed
>get on the shuttle
>shuttle gets bombed, critting me again
>spend the remainder of the round critted in a shuttle sleeper

At least you lived.
>Be a Doctor
>Clown has a pie cannon
>Steal it from the clown
>Hide in maint in a locker so he loses me
>Shoot up medbay with pies
>See the warden in the hallway, shoot him
>He crits me
>Get healed in medbay
>Make chemicals to get revenge on warden
>Heal someone laying around hurt
>Die to exploding medbay
It was the same round and same warden.

>second traitor round in like 9 months
>grab my gear before I think of what to do, a sleeping carp scroll and a box of throwing stars
>its meta so in retrospect I hide the russian revolver so I can use the excuse that I found it lying around (a free 3tc traitor item is why I dislike most maps besides box honestly)
>decide to be a generic bully so I can steal lunch money
>grab formal wear and skull bandana
>see jewish boy in the garden
>ask for his lunch money
>he refuses
>half of the food in the garden as punishment for his insolence
>wait wait I'm fat shit
>decide to become un-fat
>for some reason the bar vendor doesn't have the drink that makes you anorexic
>go to chemist
>"hey double dweeb is there any chance I can get some lipolicide"
>"oh yeah sure I have some of the ingredients already"
>go steal the jewish boy's lunch money as I swore I would
>go back to chemist and grab my lipolicide pill and give him some money
>he wouldn't trick me right nahhhh he seems nice and this pill is properly labelled and what did i do to him
>its 50u of mindbreaker
>immediately down charcoal and am mostly fine but that was a massive dick move and I still need to lose this weight
>hack in and table him till he surrenders
>I'm not a rat so I let him go
>he immediately chlorals me in the eyes and I panic slightly but I shrug it off because I drank the charcoal to combat the mindbreaker
>that's what I get for having morals
>shuttle gets called
>after recovering and he comes back to his office the cmo pops in and we have a nice fight which ends in me having to toss a few shurikens
>chemist is softcrit and sec tosses in a flashbang
>officer is nice and understanding enough but doesn't think I should've kicked the guy's ass
>warden however throws me in the gulag because I couldn't pay the $500 bail
>shuttle is coming in 3 minutes when he gulags me
>still manage to get the resources to buy my way outta gulag
>for some reason the gulag ship door won't open and I can't leave
>after shuttle leaves suicide and look back
>warden left on shuttle
>the chemist went braindead and was a nonantag
>This all happened because I got fat

>assistant on worst station, deltastation.
>be a good boy
>hack into toxins and smoke and chat with the scientists
>save a life, oust a traitor, get the rd an anomaly core, hack into toxins again, all that nice stuff.
>while trying to chase the traitor, the murder victim of said traitor suggests that I get put in a clone scanner
>I t
>laughing at someone getting arrested 4n0raisin when sec arrests me 4noraisin
>ryan begins slandering me. I glaze over it until he says specific crimes to the point of "he was hacking into the security checkpoint, I saw it myself!" and I knew there were lies
>he was an implanted security officer but he's bringing me to the gulag, and that *always* results in security killing me.
>out of the corner of my eye see a detective in HOS gear, and beg them to look it over. I had never been so sincere in my life before until I said I didn't know how, but I KNEW I wasn't going to come out alive if I was gulagged
>Det has no reason to think I'm not lying and did no investigation of his own, decides to leave it to chance
>"I am thinking of a number between 1 and 10. whoever guesses wrong will be beheaded."
>guess 7, since that is statistically the most likely "random" number for a person to think of. Continue repeating that I do not wish for ryan to die, but I am very uncomfortable with this and merely want to survive.
>ryan guesses 3, but the answer was 5.
>tie leads to him letting us both walk
>ryan leaves with a somewhat comforting remark admitting the possibility that I was framed
>relax slightly as I walk out of brig
>immediately a lawyer begins pestering me
>then ryan batons me and drags me into the lawyer's backroom. no one cares, and comms are down.
>ryan and the lawyer switchblade me to death, and I learn that ryan was a loyalty implanted lawyer who was promoted to sec officer.
>The lawyer hides my body very messily in the bathroom, but takes off my clothes, so there are no suit sensors. No one notices.
>The lawyer moves it to one of the clothes lockers in dormitories. No one notices.
>This is the end of the story. I was right the whole time, but it got me nowhere.

>be minerbuddy LOGI-SERIES
>mine a HUGE HAUL including bluespace and diamonds
>come back
>no ORM upgrade
>go to robotics
>no upgraded cells for me
>no PKA upgrades or lavaproof tracks
>ok
>mine again
>ORM still not upgraded
>they're wasting the points on retarded shit like nanites, even the miners didnt get shit so far
>shuttle called at this point and 43 mins
>walk into robo again
>drop a bunch of sheets of gold, diamond, and other shit i mined on the floor
>"yo can i have upgrades"
>they ignore me and make a fucking ripley
>shuttle arrives
>i still have my default battery in

ok.

>overthrow
>get subverted, help dude subvert someone he needed on his team
>he subverts the CE
>captain was in engineering too and I was pressing for them to subvert her since it'd make thing easier
>too late, implants used up ree
>buckle captain to me
>asking in binary if I should kill her
>after deliberating, AI tells me that our master said to kill her
>make small-talk with cap before I head to engi solars
>do the smoothest *spin spacing I've ever fucking done
>captain: "Lucie will remember that." kek
>ask AI if cap is dying, they say yes but then inform me that captain is back at the station
>pls no
>check crew monitor and see she's in cargo, slightly injured but conscious and alive
>head there in disbelief, half-wondering if I'll be able to finish her off
>captain: "Hey Oil."
>abscond
>eventually cap catches, flashes me and begins to take me apart in robotics
>when I have a moment of clarity between being flashed I'm asking for the AI to blow me (maybe a borg would be able to finish them off?)
>cap fumbles a bit fixing me so I'm able to escape with my cover open and no cell
>hide in maint until a kindly engineer takes me to engineering and gives me another powercell
>end up killing the CMO and giving up on the captain

our team still won but i got cucked so hard out of a clean betrayal/murder, ree.

>RD
>Some xenobio idiot caused spiderpocalypse when I went to robotics for five minutes
>in the station's situation the best solution I think of is warping a plasma can into xenobiology
>grab can
>about to open and shove it in
>outta nowhere gayden a botanist just runs up to me and pushes the can in
>spiders come out of the portal, plasma doesn't work, they kill me
>as I am dying the captain fires me
>at roundend I learn that everyone is super pissed at me for uploading a really shittily worded pseudo onehuman
>I logdive and find out it was a random scientist that shittily onehumaned the AI
>everyone mocks me for even swearing I didn't do it
>this gives me flashbacks to the actual saddest I've ever been in a round of 2d spacemen

>one of my first rounds back
>walk into medbay and I see it clearly now as it feels like a dream
>it's him
>he's perfect
>he's- >I walk up to the baby polar bear, walking in place. we greet, and I realise that he has no friends, no followers, nothing but all access.
>Just like me
>we resolve that in our lives we must have some purpose, some..goal. my immature mind comes to the thought of attracting a moth, which this station seems to lack
>we travel the station, discovering oddities and gathering lamps, before the concept of a 'moth lamp meme' had even entered the minds of the users of the website leddit.
>after travelling through a fire and finding our polar bear at 100% health I personally come to the conclusion that he is immortal
>as I travel we encounter many a man in need of help and I often disregard them and my comrade in my selfish pursuits
>occasionally I indulge my comrade and assist the injured chemist just enough to get him on his feet, and then desert him. If my callow ally did not urge my compassion, and I were not fearful of my life without his all access, I'd have selfishly deserted the innocent souls I stumble upon
>eventually the small white shifting companion proposes we search the morgue for dead moths
>the morgue is barren, but a roboticist bares wings just in view!
>after my rush to grasp the lamps, I lose track of the roboticist again, and, thus, hope
>in the most thoughtful act anyone has ever done for me, and the wisest use of language I've seen yet, a lizard urges me in his tongue that the moth is in a ripley within cargo. I never even told them of my plight, and the moth was blissfully unaware of my search
>hurry to them, and offer the lamps. I slyly make an offer for the moth to dinner, in hopes of learning more about the species.
>"EAT MY SHORTS"
>the moth rejects the shorts and I collapse in agony
>I awaken to the polar pal assuring me that she accepted the lamps. I comfort myself be hoping that this is true. I will learn of moths no matter what!
>I use what strength I have remaining to steal the captain's deluxe fur coat with assistance from our snowy saviour
>I bring it to the moth and offer
>the moth rejects my coat
>I am stunned, but stunned more by the sudden fire
>I resist most of it, but the moth is disfigured
>I offer her a burn patch
>the vile creature rejects my burn patch
>I have learned what I needed from the experiences with moths. They are vile, cruel creatures who wish for you to suffer, while being horrifically weak themselves.
>I go on, with my treasured omnivore by my side, hoping to exact more knowledge from life on the mother russia bleeds shuttle
>I ask my friend to open a door
>no answer, he merely waddles in place.
>I ask again
>no answer
>in my frustration, I throw him at the door
>nothing
>I look more closely
>the movements are mere spasms from his corpse.
>He was not immortal. the fire finally took his life
>I spent his last moments yelling at him to open a door
>I am more crushed than I ever could've imagined. I limp to the shuttle in despair, and am invited to the cockpit.
>I tell my tale to all that will hear
>before I know it, the chief engineer butchers the innocent cold corpse of my comrade.
>Feeling intense anger but wishing to follow my former friend's altruistic ways, I leave the cockpit in a huff.
>I see it
>on the floor there
>it's- >what a fool I was! I could've saved him! my sorrow was wasted when I could've been active! I had ignored others in need yet again!
>I lash out at the chief engineer in rage, but realise there is nothing I can do to fix what I have caused.
>I cry as I realise the real moth was the friends we made along the way
baby polar bear was the best friend I could've ever asked for, and I led to his undoing.

>play cargo tech for a change
>suddenly everyone screaming about ops
>comms go out
>delta alert
>pods are already gone
>find a gun
>blow my brains out right before the nuke detonates
>it was just the harmless beer nuke
>there weren't actually any ops

jaxy15 wrote:>play cargo tech for a change
>suddenly everyone screaming about ops
>comms go out
>delta alert
>pods are already gone
>find a gun
>blow my brains out right before the nuke detonates
>it was just the harmless beer nuke
>there weren't actually any ops

rare jaxy collected

>Curator
>Go to HoP to get job title changed to reporter
>No HoP, captain won't come to desk
>Head of lawyer's office to get that sweet PDA cart to message everyone about news
>Lawyer wants to trade for it
>I offer him free advertisement for each news story I do
>The pact is sealed

>Cap still not at HoPline
>Break into his office
>Hand tele, disk, and pinpointer untouched
>Loot 'em
>Cap enters his office, throws me out

>HoP finally arrives, I toss him the pinpointer
>Report on the news until the HoS arrests me for having the disk
>After I'm searched, he gives it back to me and says it's too much of a hassle for him to hold onto it
>Continue reporting news
>Zombie outbreak occurs
>Zombified HoS is coming at me
>Baseball bat him to oblivion, take his ID and the cap ID on him
>Toss ID to officer, we red alert
>I build a comms console to call the shuttle, and to ask for nuke codes since 90% of the crew are zombies
>Run and try to fight off zombies, eventually me and sec bro get bit
>We clamber into a pod, and he begs me to cut his head off before he turns
>I let loose a cry and cut him to pieces
>Pod departs, I slip into crit from my wounds
>Arrive at the pod recovery ship thing
>Succumb
>Zero ghosts orbiting me
>No one cares about the person who evacced the last living crew
>Die alone and forgotten

Rage
>HOS round
>things are mild, im fairly certain it’s extended
> Captain: i think person #1 is a traitor
> ask them why
> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> ummmmmmmmm
> wellllllllllllllllllllll
> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> THEY KEPT REPEATING THESE SAME SHITTY WORDS WITH LOUD VOLUME ON
> DONT PLAN ON STOPPING
> actually the maddest ive ever been while playing ss13, ever
> their uhs are now giving me anxiety
> decide to end things
> kidnap captain, take em to brig where I muzzle them
> borgs come because I never harmed them once, a silicon army of 5 coming after me
> spirit cap away, SCREAMING UHHHHHH THE MOMENT THE MUZZLE COMES OFF
> multiple encounters where I nearly get cap, but hes riding a borg and HALF THE FUCKING STATION IS WET
> UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
> finally say fuck it and grab ion rifle
> WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
> Pull the trigger
> some sort of pacifism message
> THE FUCKING PEACE KEEPER BORG SHOT ME UP WITH ALL THE SHIT HE HAD

Tears
> Captain and janitor beats me to red in front of 3 borgs before they decide to do something
> UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anyways after a long struggle I catch captain and space him

Regret
> bwoink

okay even you didn't deserve this

christ, wesoda. honestly, i can't blame you for any of that.

>Robo Tator.
>Buy a binary key, listen in.
>Check objectives; slime core and the captain's medal. Alright, sure.
>Robo becomes very busy very quickly.
>One of the borgs is hanging out with a catgirl in Robo, that's all fine.
>Some other scientist gets this hard-on for trying to kill her. No idea why.
>One borg gets emagged, comes back looking for a reset.
>I agree, but just deconstruct and reconstruct, since I noticed it.
>Constant cycle of borging and fixing borgs and dealing with the scientist that wants to kill the catgirl.
>Eventually I figure out I'm never getting a chance to subvert the AI.
>So I just start chatting with the silicons over binary. I tell them my objectives are non-harmful, they're chill about it.
>The scientist kills the catgirl, but gets bolted into the Xenobio's south containment chamber for it. Eventually breaks out.
>Never really get a chance to plan anything, but in the confusion of it all, a borg helps me get the xeno core.
>Shuttle that I forgot about is like thirty seconds away.
>Emag my way into the cap's office that I know will be empty by now, steal an easy medal.
>Figure the shuttle will get bombed or something like the medbay was, decide to take the engineering pod.
>Have to emag one door to get in.
>Atmos tech walks by ten seconds later and just early launches it and walks away. I was chatting with the borgs and didn't notice until I was in flight.
>End the round on the very tip top of Lavaland with all my objectives otherwise in my pocket.

wesoda25 wrote:Rage
>HOS round
>things are mild, im fairly certain it’s extended
> Captain: i think person #1 is a traitor
> ask them why
> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> ummmmmmmmm
> wellllllllllllllllllllll
> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> THEY KEPT REPEATING THESE SAME SHITTY WORDS WITH LOUD VOLUME ON
> DONT PLAN ON STOPPING
> actually the maddest ive ever been while playing ss13, ever
> their uhs are now giving me anxiety
> decide to end things
> kidnap captain, take em to brig where I muzzle them
> borgs come because I never harmed them once, a silicon army of 5 coming after me
> spirit cap away, SCREAMING UHHHHHH THE MOMENT THE MUZZLE COMES OFF
> multiple encounters where I nearly get cap, but hes riding a borg and HALF THE FUCKING STATION IS WET
> UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
> finally say fuck it and grab ion rifle
> WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
> Pull the trigger
> some sort of pacifism message
> THE FUCKING PEACE KEEPER BORG SHOT ME UP WITH ALL THE SHIT HE HAD

Tears
> Captain and janitor beats me to red in front of 3 borgs before they decide to do something
> UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Anyways after a long struggle I catch captain and space him

Regret
> bwoink

henk
the only time i actualy harmed you ( i think ) was when i accidentally hit you with the ion rifle while trying to shoot you with it

Short but sweet

>warden during a cult round
>need to get vaccine for a disease that occasionally makes me puke blood
>helping someone space a cultist
>as soon as I exit the airlock I puke blood
>shit shit shit get up get up get up
>get up
>disabler my way back
>cultist gets thrown out airlock by other guy and crashes into me
>shit shit sit get up get up get up
>lose my disabler
>revolver my way back
>about to put internals on
>game crash
>come back to find both me and the cultist sitting right outside the airlock, dead
>nar sie gets summoned without me there to stop anything

Another
>ce
>bomb coming on cargo shuttle in 4 mins
>get scanned in cloner
>get bomb suit
>coming in 1 min
>go to bomb
>mime and qm are crowding around me
>disarm mime of wirecutters and tell em all to back off
>qm fucking cuts the first wire and explodes the bomb
>Mime calls me a retard in deadchat because he claims that wirecutters are better than multitools for bombs (despite the bomb being blown up thanks to wirecutters?)
>no autocloner, nobody ever checks the cargo ship for corpses, suit sensors only on binary.