i am angry about bidets again

[SaveVatznick]

Bottom post of the previous page:

ok but @ leora
how do you manage when you're on your period
you can't just fucking wipe blood and i highly doubt you shower every time you go to the bathroom

I mean it's always gonna feel a little slimy but I just wipe like normal but twice so there's nothing actually on my skin outside of me and then replace the pad and that generally does it unless it's the first day and in the middle of a contraction and everything is awful, in which case I'm not going outside that day anyways and I don't need to worry about showering. If I'm on my period I'm feeling gross anyways so I don't really care.
You must bleed a lot or something because I've never had issues with the whole "murder scene toilet" thing bae.

[Super Aggro Crag]

Man i guess it is true you let girls in your community and they just turn it into a period party

[Deitus]

Boys dont have periods

[SaveVatznick]

[Super Aggro Crag]

Good taste

[SaveVatznick]

You must bleed a lot or something because I've never had issues with the whole "murder scene toilet" thing bae.

just during the first day but it was just a miscalculation and i actually did have a murder scene it was pretty funny and thankfully i wasn't in a hurry. but it's still annoying when you go out during the first few days since its going to be all slimey and awful with bidets i just wash it away and keep going
pads are hell though, i've been thinking about getting that cup thing because tampons are the absolute fucking worst i don't want cotton inside me getting bigger thank you very much

Tampons are gross and they can't be good for you but those cup things creep me out so I'm just gonna do what I'm doing and fuck all yall high tech cups and bidets and technology shit, if everything goes to hell we'll all go back to rags anyways.

[oranges]

WHERE ARE WE GOING

[Deitus]

[Coconutwarrior97]

Do you think Khorne accepts menstrual blood?

[Grazyn]

I didn't mention girls because I just assumed they would obviously use bidets given their sanitary problems that can only be solved by washing thoroughly, and showering every single time would be horribly impractical. Not to mention the increased risk of UTIs they have from an improperly cleaned butthole when compared to males.

Little did I know that American girls would rather wallow in their own filth for an entire week than use this demonic device from Europe, God forbid they have to question their superior culture. I reel at the thought of the amount of deodorant and perfume they have to use to cover the harrowing stench.

At least they're being honest and they admit they do feel miserable and gross instead of going "I-I'm p-perfectly clean anyway thank you v-very much!" like their male counterparts.

[Super Aggro Crag]

Oh look he'a back at it

[Deitus]

THE MADMAN

[oranges]

americans being blown the fuck out of the filth they're living in right now

[Grazyn]

Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.

I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

[Nabski]

i unironically only poop every 2-3 days tbh, yeah they're big but ive been doing this for as long as i can remember and ive never had any health issues

just mental health issues ayy gottem

What the fuck are you eating that you only poop every 2-3 days. Boy get some fiber in ya.

i actually eat a lot, usually my meals are
>breakfast
scrambled eggs with cheese, a glass of chocolate milk, a muffin, and a bowl of yogurt with lots of blueberries and granola
>lunch
maybe a snack if im hungry, usually dont eat lunch
>dinner
whatever is in the cafeteria (usually a sandwich or some chicken or other meats), a salad with peas, corn, dressing, and croutons, the same bowl of yogurt/blueberries/granola, a glass of apple juice, and a small desert of like a cookie or something.

also some late-night snacks if im hungry.
still only need to shit every other day at minimum.

Yeah the granola should be enough fiber.
That's a decently balanced diet. Well done.

[iksyp]

Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.

I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

ass blasted about ass blasters

[SaveVatznick]

Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.

I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

So when when you Euros meet each other, do you stick your faces in each other's butts like dogs do?

[Deitus]

Yeah the granola should be enough fiber.
That's a decently balanced diet. Well done.

i need to start exercising though so i can lose some weight. i usually dont consider myself fat so much as just overweight for my build but im starting to straddle the line pretty hard, planning to unironically start going to the gym next week once all these fucking midterms die down a bit

Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.

I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

ass blasted about ass blasters

i hereby petition to change the thread name to this

[Coconutwarrior97]

I am a perfectly clean healthy boy and have never used a bidet. Im sure if i grew up with bidets I would like them, but toilet paper has always worked for me. We must put aside our differences and acknowledge our shared hate for messy buttholes. Viva la ass!

[Grazyn]

Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.

I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

So when when you Euros meet each other, do you stick your faces in each other's butts like dogs do?

I still have trouble believing that a technologically and culturally advanced people like you Americans can be so blissfuly ignorant about basic personal hygiene. I'm not just talking about the foul smell of death and decay produced by improperly cleaned ass and genitalia, one can learn to live with that, I mean all the health hazards you choose to ignore. I could understand if you had single-payer healthcare, after all, why worry about your own health if someone else has to pay for it, but you have to pay for it with your own damn money! UTIs from shit bacteria can be a bitch to cure, they can even be lethal is bacteria goes into your blood, or destroy your kidneys if you're lucky. Why take the risk to gamble with that, instead of putting your national pride away for a second and just use a bidet? "No I'm gonna clean my ass the AMERICAN WAY, even if it means paying the toll with my life." That's how stupid you sound.

[iksyp]

Vatznick is Murican? We have so many nationalities, I'm not even sure Muricans exist now. They are a conspiracy created by France.

I don't really care, with all the bullshit about bidets I read here I'm mostly using "American" as an insult by now

So when when you Euros meet each other, do you stick your faces in each other's butts like dogs do?

I still have trouble believing that a technologically and culturally advanced people like you Americans can be so blissfuly ignorant about basic personal hygiene. I'm not just talking about the foul smell of death and decay produced by improperly cleaned ass and genitalia, one can learn to live with that, I mean all the health hazards you choose to ignore. I could understand if you had single-payer healthcare, after all, why worry about your own health if someone else has to pay for it, but you have to pay for it with your own damn money! UTIs from shit bacteria can be a bitch to cure, they can even be lethal is bacteria goes into your blood, or destroy your kidneys if you're lucky. Why take the risk to gamble with that, instead of putting your national pride away for a second and just use a bidet? "No I'm gonna clean my ass the AMERICAN WAY, even if it means paying the toll with my life." That's how stupid you sound.

we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly

[Grazyn]

we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly

I'm not the one who spread fake news in this thread about bidets, saying they blast your ass with cold water coming straight from the toilet and so on, with the intent of making Europeans look like weirdos and Americans like educated gentlemen who obviously use the most excellent and practical way to clean their asses. Yes, those unholy contraptions do exist. I refuse to consider them bidets.

THIS is a bidet.



Notice the compact size, which makes it fit in almost all kinds of bathrooms, the mixer to accurately regulate the water temperature to best suit your needs, the directional faucet which can be conveniently aimed at your ass or genitalia.

How can you be a girl on period and not think you need this in your life ASAP?

[Nabski]

That's a sink. Grazyn you've been shitting in the sink again.

Stop it.

[iksyp]

we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly

I'm not the one who spread fake news in this thread about bidets, saying they blast your ass with cold water coming straight from the toilet and so on, with the intent of making Europeans look like weirdos and Americans like educated gentlemen who obviously use the most excellent and practical way to clean their asses. Yes, those unholy contraptions do exist. I refuse to consider them bidets.

How can you be a girl on period and not think you need this in your life ASAP?

"this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery

[Deitus]

we aren't even saying that bidets are bad, we're saying that you don't need it to survive.
you make it sound like without a bidet you're ass will become nerve gas and you will die instantly

I'm not the one who spread fake news in this thread about bidets, saying they blast your ass with cold water coming straight from the toilet and so on, with the intent of making Europeans look like weirdos and Americans like educated gentlemen who obviously use the most excellent and practical way to clean their asses. Yes, those unholy contraptions do exist. I refuse to consider them bidets.

THIS is a bidet.



Notice the compact size, which makes it fit in almost all kinds of bathrooms, the mixer to accurately regulate the water temperature to best suit your needs, the directional faucet which can be conveniently aimed at your ass or genitalia.

How can you be a girl on period and not think you need this in your life ASAP?

holy shit im fucking dying
this thread is solid gold

[teepeepee]

@wubli
te kb bidetera
https://www.google.com.ar/amp/s/www.cla ... Q.amp.html

tl;dr bidet no longer obligatory for hotels and new buildings in the shithole of Argentina

[Grazyn]

"this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery

You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.

[SaveVatznick]

"this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery

You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.

Are you trying to sell us something? Are you a bidet salesman over in buttsniffistan trying to grow a new market in the US, Grazyn?

[teepeepee]

the bidet rabbithole goes deeper
https://www.clarin.com/ciudades/bidet-h ... X.amp.html
apparently we use it backwards, you're supposed to have the faucet in front of you!
also it was invented for french whores to clean up after sex

[Super Aggro Crag]

Having difficulty understanding other people's experiences are seperate from your own is a sympton of autism
Grazyn is literally aspergin' about ass-purgers

[Grazyn]

"this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery

You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.

Are you trying to sell us something? Are you a bidet salesman over in buttsniffistan trying to grow a new market in the US, Grazyn?

lol you Americans are hopelessly lost. You live in a world of ads and corporate culture and you can't even take a piece of honest advice without thinking "HMMM this guy is trying to SELL me something! But I'm too SMART for him!"
Meanwhile, some random Russian makes up a story about Hillary Clinton being the kingpin of a worldwide paedophile ring and you immediately believe it with unbreakable faith.

[SaveVatznick]

"this bidet is not a bidet because i do not like it"
lol
also i don't think anyone's said "tp is superior in cleaning power" unless im mistaken but not searching 7 pages of ass blastery

You can attach a tube to the toilet, make it spray dirty water on your ass and call it a bidet but it doesn't make it a bidet. The thing in the image is the rightful heir to the historical bidet.

Are you trying to sell us something? Are you a bidet salesman over in buttsniffistan trying to grow a new market in the US, Grazyn?

lol you Americans are hopelessly lost. You live in a world of ads and corporate culture and you can't even take a piece of honest advice without thinking "HMMM this guy is trying to SELL me something! But I'm too SMART for him!"
Meanwhile, some random Russian makes up a story about Hillary Clinton being the kingpin of a worldwide paedophile ring and you immediately believe it with unbreakable faith.

Woah the definition of Buttstrated, how the Bideter explodes in rage when others do not clean their anuses as he prefers!

Yes I am so bigbrained in my funposting that I send foreign water-based anal rape machine salesmen spiralling into tantrums about the American zeitgeist and conspiracy theories about conspiracy theories. Nice try you PAID GLOBALIST SHILL.

In all honesty, you may be a bit of a hypochondriac, friendo. Go out, drink some milk, eat a peanut butter sandwich on white bread, pet a dog, get stung by a bee. Enjoy yourself.

[Malkevin]

i unironically only poop every 2-3 days tbh, yeah they're big but ive been doing this for as long as i can remember and ive never had any health issues

just mental health issues ayy gottem

What the fuck are you eating that you only poop every 2-3 days. Boy get some fiber in ya.

i actually eat a lot, usually my meals are
>breakfast
scrambled eggs with cheese, a glass of chocolate milk, a muffin, and a bowl of yogurt with lots of blueberries and granola
>lunch
maybe a snack if im hungry, usually dont eat lunch
>dinner
whatever is in the cafeteria (usually a sandwich or some chicken or other meats), a salad with peas, corn, dressing, and croutons, the same bowl of yogurt/blueberries/granola, a glass of apple juice, and a small desert of like a cookie or something.

also some late-night snacks if im hungry.
still only need to shit every other day at minimum.

That's a lot of dairy and bread, no wonder you're full of shit.

[IkeTG]

how can people not have them?

Most of the bathrooms in the US aren't big enough by code to have extra bidets, so they're seen as mostly a luxury, or an unnecessary plumbing installation. This leads to them not being standardized enough to be added to bathrooms when a house is built.

Most people aren't convinced enough to add an entire plumbing installation to their house they they think is unnecessary, so this leads to bidets being incredibly uncommon.

[FantasticFwoosh]

Care to give the UK some land for toilet space or even bedroom space?

We're not German, we won't ask for living room space.

We have Hull, it's sorted.

[Grazyn]

i think the thingie that you attach to the toilet that works like a bidet is better than nothing tbh, my ex had one of those and while it wasn't as powerful as a bidet it did its job

bidets are good

But it's only a blast of water, isn't it? Do you use soap with it? Looks kinda uncomfortable

[ThanatosRa]

barbarians

[Grazyn]

i don't think i ever needed to use it for anything than just blood so i didn't use soap, not good for your bloody theme park

what the fuck, the entire point of a bidet is to make it easier to wash your ass with soap, why even use a bidet if you're just spraying water on your ass, why even WASTE money and water and power for something like that if you're not gonna use it the proper way

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

Ok alright here's how you're supposed to use a bidet, the one in the previous image (the toilet sprayer abomination doesn't exists):
you straddle it FACING the faucet
wash your ass with SOAP
rinse it with running water
wash hands
repeat with genital area
stand up and dry with your ass towel
remember to not use your ass towel for other parts of your body (felt I needed to include this given the amount of rampant american idiocy in this thread)

[Grazyn]

I'm angry about bidets

[Malkevin]

Eww, Grazyn touches his shitty crack.

Must be all that Moslem DNA from their rape-raids.

[SaveVatznick]

stand up and dry with your ass towel

ASS TOWEL
AHAHAHAHAHA

[Grazyn]

Yep, not surprised you Americans don't even have an ass towel.

And really, bringing DNA into this? Oh yes, the notorious genetic purity of US citizens

[Super Aggro Crag]

Grazyn is a wannabe american

[obscolene]

DESIGNATED

ASS

TOWELS

[GarlicBread]

This truly is the thread that keeps on giving

[CreationPro]

don't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die



also grazyn is great at baiting, this thread is still going

not quite sticky vegan thread tier but we are getting there

[Deitus]

what the fuck, the entire point of a bidet is to make it easier to wash your ass with soap, why even use a bidet if you're just spraying water on your ass, why even WASTE money and water and power for something like that if you're not gonna use it the proper way

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

Ok alright here's how you're supposed to use a bidet, the one in the previous image (the toilet sprayer abomination doesn't exists):
you straddle it FACING the faucet
wash your ass with SOAP
rinse it with running water
wash hands
repeat with genital area
stand up and dry with your ass towel
remember to not use your ass towel for other parts of your body (felt I needed to include this given the amount of rampant american idiocy in this thread)

stand up and dry with your ass towel

ass towel

S C R E A M I N G
C
R
E
A
M
I
N
G

FUCKIN BONUS POINTS FOR
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>USING SOAP ON YOUR ASS
holy shit i dont even care if this is bait anymore i havent laughed this hard in a longass time

[CitrusGender]

ass towels are a thing yeah

nothing but respect for my president

do you just tab out to shitpost in this thread

[Grazyn]

So if you Americans get bird shit on yourself you just wipe it away with paper and go your merry way, got it.

[SaveVatznick]

So you euros shit so volcanically and messily that you need a specialized contraption specifically designed to deal with the remnanta of your leavings?

[GarlicBread]

Like nigga just wipe it away hahaha