Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Fri May 13, 2016 3:39 pm #176207

Bottom post of the previous page:

Subject*
Your Mom

Priority*
Low

Status*
Open

Remie Richards · Fri May 13, 2016 3:40 pm

>Visable

>visAble

>A

jesus.

IrishWristWatch0 · Fri May 13, 2016 3:46 pm

Jesus can't help me. The ticket stays for a month. No less

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Fri May 13, 2016 4:36 pm #176237

Do your job and do what they ask for.

Straighten those 'cords'. Tie them up with pretty ribbon so they stay straight.

IrishWristWatch0 · Fri May 13, 2016 4:46 pm

This is the reason I'm trying NOT to do IT work when i graduate.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Fri May 13, 2016 4:59 pm #176248

yeah I would not recommend IT to anyone.

When you go into it you think you'll be working (or more likely playing muds) in a server room all day in a basement far away from dumb people, then you get into it and realise your entire day is dealing direct with dumb fecktards - especially management divs that always ask the exact same phrase "And whats the way forward with this?

The way forward is you stop bugging me and call your ISP who is the company responsible for your web filtering and they are the ones blocking our job system because they're a bunch of cunts that are being dicks because we got you to go with a better ISP.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Fri May 13, 2016 10:08 pm #176312

My favorite was when I was still working for Natwest on their cards online helpdesk

Some idiot of a customer calls up saying he's locked out of Cards Online, I ask him for his credit card number and take him through security whilst he's yammering away.
I look at my cards online screen and go "Oh its not showing as locked out, what are you trying to do"
He says he's trying to pay online with his card, I go "Ah, secure pay" and glance at my securepay screen (I had a lot of fucking screens, especially as I was still doing the online banking helpdesk at the same time... and shortly after this I started doing telephone banking calls too and went depressed for the next year from the stress of now having three jobs at the same time AND sales targets on top of it) and see its not locked out there either.

I ask him again what he's trying to do.
Finally he tells me he's trying to pay his credit card with his debit card, and thats where the securepay screen was saying his card was locked. I tell him debit cards are handled by a different team and that I'll transfer him to the correct team.
Que Mr Dumbfuck suddenly becoming an expert at all the online things and adamantly refusing to be transfered, even going as far as saying "You don't know your own system. Its got nothing to do with my debit card." to which I replied "I know the system quite well actually, in fact I know it well enough to be one of the points of referral here on the system. And it is to do with your debit card as that is what you're trying to make the payment with"

"But its a message on my credit card online banking"
"Yes, but it connects to the debit card secure pay page to authorise the debit card transaction"

We literally spend the next five minutes arguing back and forth, eventually I just say to him "Okay, we're just going back and forth here. Who's the debit card with? Us?"
"Yeah, natwest"
"Alright, as its a natwest card I can check the status of it. Can I have the debit card number please?" - wasn't actually allowed to do this at all, but I had access and I had KPIs to meet.
"Fine... its..."
"No no, the debit card number please. Starts 4751"

He finally gives me the debit card number
"Alright, I can see here that I my assumption was correct. Your debit is indeed locked out on its securepay system". He sighs. "I can't unlock that debit card myself as it is a different team that handles debit cards. I will now transfer you to the correct team" he sighs again "as I said I would do five minutes ago. Alright." He's finally silent and I transfer him.

IrishWristWatch0 · Sat May 14, 2016 12:22 am

Some older fucker decided to pop a squat in my office. It is also not an office to visit. He didn't like any solutions I gave him. Even when my solution was just bring me the laptop. He didn't even like my phone number. Just didn't like it. So I told him to leave as I don't have to help non student/non faculty. He was upset. I still got paid.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Sun May 15, 2016 5:57 am #176542

420weedscopes wrote:wow why did you get super fucking real dude this is watercooler
add more memes v͍̠͈͓͓͗̏̎͒̊͟ ̩̭̙̘̲̪͐ͧ͆ͩ̅ͭ̇ạ̻͔̳̙̣͆̌ ̗̗̠͑͢p͓̫̎ ̝̱͙̩̻̼̔̂ͯ̃ͬͅo͍̤̦͔͔̩ͬ͌͒͜ ͎̮͎͓͔̖̻ͫr͡ ̢ͬͣ̊̅ͣw̷̾͒ͮͤ̓͐ ̪̗̄ͤ͐̇ͥ̚̚a̵͈̓̒͆ ͛ͪͣ҉̪̲̹v̢͉ͭ̈́ ͙̭̣̰ͭ̆̈͛ͩ͐̐eͩ͌ͬ͏̘͖̦ for the kidzng

EndgamerAzari wrote: Nothing wrong with liking cats. They're not for everyone, sure, but they can be pretty great.
w a e v r o e a p
w a v e
a
p
o
r

[youtube]FCb3rblTEds[/youtube]

EndgamerAzari wrote:Jesus Christ, you guys W̴̫̞̖̝͖̦̺͠͡ͅ ̴̹͔̝̠͙̬͖͍̺̘͉̞͕̩͉͇̞͇͢U ̡͖͔̬̫̜̖̰͍͉̗̳̖̥̞̲̝͖̀Z͏̵̞̳̼͚͓͇̬̫̮͔̱ ̵̷̵̴̭̳̣̠̳̜͔̣̹̫͖̗̰̳͉͇̜̥͘n̖̳̞̬̫͓͓͕̫̞͈͡ ̵̟̦̝͕̲͈͕̖̱̬̯̹̠͔̯̲̮̮͙̀͝A͏̲͓͇͞ ̭̞̜̤͜͝͡͝ͅR ̷̰̯̙̙̭̟̟̘̖́͡ͅͅD҉̷̸̘̦͎̥͕̹̱̱͉̰̠̭̞̝̺̜̠̮͈̀͝ ̡͞͏̮̮̟̱͎̰.

W U Z A R D
Z A W R U D
ZA W R D

ZA WARUDO

I spent way too much time on this

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun May 15, 2016 7:20 am #176557

Neat. Something about using the Simpsons for it is kinda silly though.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Sun May 15, 2016 9:13 am #176574

An0n3 wrote:Neat. Something about using the Simpsons for it is kinda silly though.

it's a meme of a meme
vaporwave turns into simpsonwave when you add the simpsons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL4br6H ... d3GjF2XSh1

plus it was what I was listening to at the time and it was a bad idea of the moment kind of thing.

420weedscopes · Sun May 15, 2016 1:15 pm

TheWiznard wrote:it was a bad idea

Sun May 15, 2016 7:52 pm

thewiznard that sounds like synthwave though???

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Sun May 15, 2016 11:54 pm #176779

PKPenguin321 wrote:thewiznard that sounds like synthwave though???

you're a synthwave

we're all waves in the end

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Mon May 16, 2016 1:28 pm #176866

Debating whether to get a new gaming PC and if I should spend a grand or a grand and a half on it, my current one is seven years old nearly and I haven't done much with it, so might treat myself.

IrishWristWatch0 · Mon May 16, 2016 1:30 pm

Malkevin wrote:Debating whether to get a new gaming PC and how much I should spend on it.

yes, a lot

EndgamerAzari · Mon May 16, 2016 2:14 pm

Bluh

Back to work after taking a three-day weekend

I shouldn't have slept the whole time

420weedscopes · Mon May 16, 2016 4:27 pm

sleep is honestly underrated

EndgamerAzari · Mon May 16, 2016 4:36 pm

Well, it wasn't like I was asleep the whole time I was in bed. Half the time I was just lying there, hitting the snooze on my phone every ten minutes for like four hours straight. Occasionally I'll fall asleep for brief stints and have brief, insane dreams.

EndgamerAzari · Mon May 16, 2016 9:38 pm

dubble post

fug

My computer's bluescreening shortly after loading Windows. The error is usually "memory management". Might need to replace my RAM, which, honestly, I was planning on doing anyway. I've had these sticks since 2010, and honestly it'd be nice if the solution was that straightforward.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Tue May 17, 2016 12:43 am #177005

I doubt they'd break all at the same time so try removing them one at a time. If your computer boots normally you found the faulty stick. If you don't find it then you have bigger issues.

EndgamerAzari · Tue May 17, 2016 1:29 am

Well I'll be Goddamned. I pulled one and it's run for ten-plus minutes so far without issues. Guess I'm going shopping tomorrow.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Tue May 17, 2016 5:21 am #177054

Just spent an hour cleaning up vomit

Never have kids

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Tue May 17, 2016 5:23 am #177055

The yellow baby poop is the worst

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Tue May 17, 2016 5:39 am #177057

Thankfully, I skipped that stage

Just

No

No kids, ever

I washed and then soaked my hands in vinegar and I can still smell the fucking vomit on them

APPARENTLY she also had explosive diarrhea

I'm thrilled she chose to wait until the hospital to grace us with that knowledge, I do feel bad for hospital janitors now, though

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue May 17, 2016 8:55 am #177075

I sure am glad I decided to become a wizard.

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Tue May 17, 2016 5:31 pm #177160

You know that whole thing in philosophy as to why pain and suffering exists if god exists?

There's a theodicy about it that for Humans to know happiness, they must also experience pain. Everything sweet must also be bitter etc.

Well that applies to children as well.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Tue May 17, 2016 5:38 pm #177162

What joy does a child who watches his mom get her head cut off by militants and then literally shits himself to death from diptheria possibly know?

Skorvold · Post by **Skorvold** » Tue May 17, 2016 5:45 pm #177165

I purchased a new keyboard via NewEgg Friday and I have still yet to receive it, despite the fact that it ships from the state directly above me. When I look up the tracking number it tells me it will get here Friday, though the numbers have been wrong before.

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Tue May 17, 2016 5:49 pm #177166

Wyzack wrote:What joy does a child who watches his mom get her head cut off by militants and then literally shits himself to death from diptheria possibly know?

Hey don't ask me ask the philosophists. There should be a shit ton of philo majors at your local cafe working as servers/baristas :^)

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue May 17, 2016 8:42 pm #177204

The joy that his mother didn't suffer as much as he did.(provided the militants didn't rape the mother first, or something i don't know)

Also, I love how we're getting shit because out service tier at work is doing it's actual job and not the job of the previous tier which is justifiably slacking off due to being dicked out of a bonus due to poor management, in addition to bad scheduling(They put them on a splitshift because closing doesn't have enough people, when midday is often as busy, or more so, than closing.) Attendance is an issue due to FMLA AND Burnout(exacerbated by the previous cockup with the bonus pay for people taking split shifts) as well. Just got pestered 3 times in five minute intervals while we're all actively working with customers through the chat and other systems. Which takes up our attention and something our boss told us takes priority over phone calls before he went on vacation. Yea. A mismanaged clusterfuck that makes our meager attempts to compensate in my department(which admittedly finds itself with moments of furious work and moments of downtime in an erratic and hard to predict schedule) little more than drops in the bucket. Which is caused by the first tier being lazy or incompetent asshats who are dumping everything that even slightly confuses or makes them work slightly into the second tier queue.

Oh and we're not allowed to take overtime. Technically we need to compensate our hours with late ins, early outs, or long lunchs. Nevada is a right to work state so I wouldn't be able to do or complain much especially not being a union job.

To be fair though, we do work in a separate room so they can't see if we're working or slacking off easily.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Tue May 17, 2016 8:46 pm #177205

Is the american employment system so backwards and corrupt that if they did fire you for standing up with your rights of not having to do unpaid overtime that you wouldn't be able to take them to a tribunal for wrongful termination of contract?

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Tue May 17, 2016 8:46 pm #177206

Malkevin wrote:Is the american employment system so backwards and corrupt that if they did fire you for standing up with your rights of not having to do unpaid overtime that you wouldn't be able to take them to a tribunal for wrongful termination of contract?

Welcome to America.

Oh, and we have an overflow queue for my department in the Philippines. Which we have to compensate for and clean up after on a weekly basis. ANd they purposely fake their numbers. And they're sitll there even though we sell the service to the client company that all of our support is in America.

EndgamerAzari · Tue May 17, 2016 8:52 pm

Malkevin wrote:Is the american employment system so backwards and corrupt that if they did fire you for standing up with your rights of not having to do unpaid overtime that you wouldn't be able to take them to a tribunal for wrongful termination of contract?

The vast majority of jobs here are at-will employment, which means the agreement can be terminated at any time by either party for any reason. There are, of course, exceptions to the 'for any reason' rule but the bar for proving they didn't fire you for one of those is so low that you'd have to basically have video footage of them burning a cross on your lawn or something similar to prove it.

Fistofbrick · Post by **Fistofbrick** » Wed May 18, 2016 8:01 am #177362

So apparently my account from the old forums got grandfathered over here or something. Neat. It's been wayy too long.

420weedscopes · Wed May 18, 2016 12:42 pm

suhh dude

EndgamerAzari · Wed May 18, 2016 4:24 pm

Goddammit I'm up 2.8 pounds this week after losing two pounds in the past two weeks.

This Weight Watchers session has been a complete bust.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Thu May 19, 2016 1:54 am #177602

Oh, animated billboards are the fucking worst

The base put in a few several months because they're awful with money

In the middle of the night, they light the streets better than the street lamps

And blind everyone who looks at them

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu May 19, 2016 10:51 am #177701

If I ever meet the person that invented the work shirt and pants combo I'm going to kick them square in the nuts.

420weedscopes · Thu May 19, 2016 11:45 am

maybe you? should get used to it? aren't you a cog of The Machine now?

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu May 19, 2016 3:10 pm #177757

420weedscopes wrote:maybe you? should get used to it? aren't you a cog of The Machine now?

Worn the damn things for 10 years, they have never gotten comfy, if anything they've gotten more uncomfortable as time has past due to the impact of crappy eating and being glued to a chair all day, everyday.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Thu May 19, 2016 3:23 pm #177758

Don't have a lot of options. Unless you've got the money to buy a bunch of tailored suits you're not getting any better.

EndgamerAzari · Thu May 19, 2016 5:12 pm

Jesus Christ, I'm so bad at this.

I'm only 40% of the way through CodeCademy's JavaScript program and I keep forgetting everything. I don't know if I can actually handle real programming.

BLUUUUUHHHHHH I SHOULD GIVE UP

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu May 19, 2016 5:26 pm #177805

Depression sometimes shares symptoms with dementia.

Also, drinking doesn't help. You might catch Korsakoff's syndrome later in your life if you've been drinking heavily and/or abusing painkillers.

EndgamerAzari · Thu May 19, 2016 5:31 pm

I think I'm just bad and the untreated-because-my-psychiatrist-is-overworked/doesn't-care ADHD probably isn't helping.

But yeah, I really should drink less. But that shitty gin that I had sitting in my carbonator bottle wasn't gonna just go away on its own.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Thu May 19, 2016 7:38 pm #177833

Programming skills are 90% transferable between programming languages. Stuff like juggling variables, designing efficient algorithms and making a good data structure for what you're actually trying to do. When you learn a new language you just have to learn the syntax and any specific peculiarities that language has.

Javascript is heavily object-oriented and treats a web page as a huge data structure. That's why you're constantly doing stuff like page.objectOnPage.methodOfThatObject()

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Thu May 19, 2016 7:59 pm #177840

So I bought recently some wax from the red button nip monkey land.

it's pretty good, i started to kinda hate the wax that brylcreem do. Put too little and it doesn't stick shit, put too much and it looks like you're straight from the fucking battle of britain. I mean it's not as bad as original brylcreem which will make you look like you got fucking time travelled from the 20's with just one tiny fucking bit of it but damn........

but yeah gatsby would recommend it's matt and doesnt look oily even if you put the whole fucking thing on.

only problem was that it fucking TOOK 8 DAYS TO GET HERE

EndgamerAzari · Thu May 19, 2016 8:03 pm

I know it's basically just learning a new language, just one that talks to machines instead of people. I've never been that great at learning languages, though I did get at least a B every 4 semesters I took Japanese. At least this way I don't need to learn a completely new alphabet. Or three.

New RAM got here and is installed. Computer back to and better than normal!

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Thu May 19, 2016 8:05 pm #177844

한글배우다!

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Thu May 19, 2016 8:28 pm #177850

case in point what i was talking about looking like you're straight from the 1940's.

Spoiler:

WAX SHOULD NEVER BE GLOSSY AAAAAAAA

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Thu May 19, 2016 8:48 pm #177856

well good news on my end. The shitstorm was partly miscommunication and not caring about details. They still need our help to clear the queue, but it should be less of a demand now that they understand that our phones don't have to be open for us to receive customers and we use a system that's not tied to the phones at all. All they were claiming they saw was "Not Ready". And not that we're in a specific not ready state. Hopefully this idiocy will be solved entirely soon.