/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

Jarek wrote:

Qbopper wrote:-Snip-

Funny story, actually, That virus that the virologist released was harmless, There was no death virus, I was just microwaving people with the micro-laser and claiming the virus did it and people fell for it, it was great. I put toxin in cyro too in hopes that my assistant target (I was a traitor) would be dragged in and mindlessly cyro'd like everyone seems to be nowadays. I ended up forgetting I put toxin in there and cyro'd you to make it look like I was helping but as it turns out I ""accidentally"" killed you with a poisoned cyro pod.

insert sad trombone here.

If it makes you feel any better I got my just desserts when not 10 minutes later when a rogue borg sliced my head off with a circular saw, and then promptly got detonated with the robotics console. My round ended with a bang, you could say.

bandit wrote:>New cops, small team of 3
>To get another team member we sentience potion Cayenne and stick him with a macrobomb implant
>Kit up, get on the shuttle, ready to depart
>Idiot op #1 accidentally attaches C4 to his belt, which sets off Cayenne's macrobomb, which blows up the whole shuttle
>Idiot op #2 drags my critted body to the syndicate base lockers AND LEAVES IT THERE
>I'm literally in a locker in crit with full nuke op gear
>Finally heal into red somehow, use the bruise pack I have with me, wander over to the shuttle, it's gone
>Wander around the syndicate base trying to find an outlet into space but it's fucking cold even through a full hardsuit so I take more damage
>Pray to the gods, get dumped into space with no internals, die
>Turn into a huge-ass pulsating tesla ball of PURE SALT

bandit wrote:>New cops, small team of 3
>To get another team member we sentience potion Cayenne and stick him with a macrobomb implant
>Kit up, get on the shuttle, ready to depart
>Idiot op #1 accidentally attaches C4 to his belt, which sets off Cayenne's macrobomb, which blows up the whole shuttle
>Idiot op #2 drags my critted body to the syndicate base lockers AND LEAVES IT THERE
>I'm literally in a locker in crit with full nuke op gear
>Finally heal into red somehow, use the bruise pack I have with me, wander over to the shuttle, it's gone
>Wander around the syndicate base trying to find an outlet into space but it's fucking cold even through a full hardsuit so I take more damage
>Pray to the gods, get dumped into space with no internals, die
>Turn into a huge-ass pulsating tesla ball of PURE SALT

Qbopper wrote:

bandit wrote:>New cops, small team of 3
>To get another team member we sentience potion Cayenne and stick him with a macrobomb implant
>Kit up, get on the shuttle, ready to depart
>Idiot op #1 accidentally attaches C4 to his belt, which sets off Cayenne's macrobomb, which blows up the whole shuttle
>Idiot op #2 drags my critted body to the syndicate base lockers AND LEAVES IT THERE
>I'm literally in a locker in crit with full nuke op gear
>Finally heal into red somehow, use the bruise pack I have with me, wander over to the shuttle, it's gone
>Wander around the syndicate base trying to find an outlet into space but it's fucking cold even through a full hardsuit so I take more damage
>Pray to the gods, get dumped into space with no internals, die
>Turn into a huge-ass pulsating tesla ball of PURE SALT

I was there for the start of that round, I was hoping to read about the macro implanted Cayenne being hilarious

it was funny in the wrong way

EDIT: to avoid doubleposting

>Private Eye Mister Mime
>hop line for det access
>ID is in computer
>EMP goes off
>my ID is stuck in the computer
>see roboticist dragging someone to robotics with a double esword
>oh shit I'd better save him
>give chase
>follow into robotics
>flash the guy with the esword, grab it, kill him
>AI missed context and yells at me
>ONE OF THE DEAD BODIES IN ROBOTICS GETS UP
>realize my critical error
>try to attack him
>AI lets him out as someone calls for help
>he yells about the crazy murderboning mime
>PDA can't PM anyone from the EMP(? I think)
>no pen or paper
>no ID
>can't do anything

honestly the worst

Armhulen wrote: >revive
>this mime saved my life, better be nice to him
>thanks mime, please don-
>he slows walks towards me with the desword
>please stop i don't wanna hurt you
>no
>stop doing this
>eventually be let out by the AI
>no remorse on blaming you with my seven stings

Doctor Pork wrote:

Armhulen wrote:i have an image of the nuke ops doing one last duel against the captain for the nuke disk and the captain whispers that if he loses to shoot up the op

I SWEAR I'LL FIND IT

Bill Rowe and the cowardly murder of an honorable nuke op.

I'm like 100% sure it was Bill Rowe. Still better than throwing the disk at the nukies. :^)

MimicFaux wrote: >mime leaves HoPs office without a word

cedarbridge wrote:

MimicFaux wrote: >mime leaves HoPs office without a word

confused rock wrote:>come across a chaplain who was given a free riot shotgun and a fancy title PLAYING DND IN BAR WITH 3 CATGIRLS
>"theres a murderhulk cmo running around, you gonna use that?"
>"yea"
>he shoots me with multiple beanbags and fucks off

XDTM wrote:>Trying to get revenge on the murderous CMO
>Hear the AI calling for help from the satellite
>Get genetic powers
>Go to sat, find the AI bluescreened
>Drag AI to RD office
>RD cards it, doesn't try to revive it
>Insist
>He begrudgingly tries to revive it
>Spy on the console with TK to check the laws
>There's a law 4 saying there are no humans
>There's a borg around, warn the RD it might still have that law and it could be rogue
>RD opens the borg panel, cuts AI link
>"That's not how it works, but it's not harming anybody anyway"
>About to leave
>Flashed, esworded, Rd saying that i knew too much
>mfw borg was actually emagged
>mfw in dead chat turns out AI had a law 0 anyway

jaxy15 wrote:>you're a traitor, kill this pleb and escape alive
>oh shit it's probably DA
>fuck this, I'm gonna C4 a bomb payload and take the brig with me
>leave my PDA in the dorms for someone else to take
>C4 detonates
>die instantly
>bomb payload remains completely intact

jaxy15 wrote:>you're a traitor, kill this pleb and escape alive
>oh shit it's probably DA
>fuck this, I'm gonna C4 a bomb payload and take the brig with me
>leave my PDA in the dorms for someone else to take
>C4 detonates
>die instantly
>bomb payload remains completely intact

XDTM wrote:what the fuck

jaxy15 wrote:>you're a traitor, kill this pleb and escape alive
>oh shit it's probably DA
>fuck this, I'm gonna C4 a bomb payload and take the brig with me
>leave my PDA in the dorms for someone else to take
>C4 detonates
>die instantly
>bomb payload remains completely intact

DemonFiren wrote:Who's the admin who answered you.
You need to write a complaint, like, right now.

Screemonster wrote:

DemonFiren wrote:Who's the admin who answered you.
You need to write a complaint, like, right now.

This

Rule 1 that podman too

Screemonster wrote:Wait, how the hell is "I joined as a ghost role and murdered the person who cucked me in my last life" not an immediate cactusfucking

do we need saegrimr back?

DemonFiren wrote:

Screemonster wrote:Wait, how the hell is "I joined as a ghost role and murdered the person who cucked me in my last life" not an immediate cactusfucking

do we need saegrimr back?

>even asking

Deitus wrote:>extended
>admins spawn zombies because of course
>they immediately die
>they send in a shuttle full of naked people and give players control over them
>i am one
>grab a skateboard and scoot around like a pro
>hos walks up and tases me
>uh what did i do fam?
>he asks me if im one of the people centcomm sent in
>yeah why?
>takes me to transfer center and makes an electric chair
>why are you killing me?
>"because centcomm sent you"
>dude you're being shit just for the valids
>LITERAL QUOTE: "yeah, i am. what are you gonna do about it?"

players like this are why people hate security.

D&B wrote:>Join as HoS
>Put down a chaplain that had his grace out
>Respond to a security breach in HoP office
>Arrest a scientist that broke in and got the HoP locker open
>Also arrest a greyshit that broke in
>Decide to be lenient and let the greyshit off easy
>They slip me with soap and cuff me
>Spent 15 minutes or so cuffed while they undressed me, tried to turn me into a woman with surgery, and tried other methods to feminize me
>Was non antag

He got banned but this is probably the last time I'm lenient with greyshits tbh.

D&B wrote:Did cap even announce it?

Anyway the point is I still regret being lenient.

dionysus24779 wrote:> Spawn as Wizard
> Oh boi it has been ages and there are so many new toys and tools!
> Objective to escape alone
> Decide to try and build up an army of constructs
> Hm weird teleport scroll only lists "space" as possible location
> Oh well it has to be at least near the station so I can just jaunt in, right?
> Space
> Ded
> Round ends after like 5 min.

But admins and such are looking into it.

But I got a Wizard token out of it.

InsaneHyena wrote:

D&B wrote:FYI you can cremate Grace.