>Be Sheryl Sherman, your average HoP
>Open HoP line, do my average HoP business
>Clown throws two people in my office, who immediately use the opportunity to steal my shit
>Take out my gun and baton, defend my belongings
>End up one click pushed, my baton is taken from me, assistant batons me repeatedly as he strips me
>The other guy, meanwhile, visibly steals my ID from the console, as the clown throws the third guy inside
>The third guy does not join in, but does not help me himself
>He does scream over the radio that I'm being robbed, however
>Captain's arrival provides me a second of distraction that I need to take my baton back
>Arrest one of the shitbags, while the other one - and the clown - escape
>Me and captain perma him, spend the next ten minutes doing my job and hunting down the clown and the tider
>Clown has a license to grief, so I let him off with a warning in exchange for ratting out the assistant
>Catch and perma him. He screams that he dindu nuffin, and he didn't steal all access - he was given it by the assistant in green
>The very same whom I arrested right in my office. Likely story. Anyway, the clown ratted him out, so this is moot.
At this point, the round takes an interesting turn.
>Notice how there is an increase in lizards on the station
>None of them seem to speak Common
>Ash lizards!
>One of them disguised himself as the acting HoS I promoted five minutes ago
>I'm sure he got this gear non-violently and in a completely fair and lawful way
>The ash lizards don't seem OVERTLY aggressive, however, and seem to be integrating
>This will not stand
>Purity of our corporation must be preserved
>Announce that the ash lizards are stealing our jobs, and I'm starting a deportation campaign and paying generously for each lizard brought to me
>None of the lizards brought to me through the round were ash walkers, by the way
>CMO takes the side of the illegal immigrants and shields them
>Captain takes my side
>Deport one of the liggers to gulag with 500 points, let him earn his citizenship
>As I do it, he screams that he was born here on the station
>Yeah, likely story, Jose
>The "HoS" ashwalker disguises himself as the chaplain (I'm sure he got THIS gear non-violently too) to hide
>Recognize him by the color of his tail, baton him, take him to gulag
>Accidentally help him stand up instead of batoning him, he lubes the hallway and escapes
>I'll get you next time, Gadget
>Clown shares a book on the superiority of the white race with me, and muses that a black woman considering lizards inferior is absurd, as nobody is more inferior than me
>Resist the urge to shoot him
>Help medbay deflect the attack of violent xenobio creatures, as they're trying to create a vaccine against GIBS and brainrot that both found their way on the station
>RD has his own unique opinion on what should be done
>Return to my office afterwards
>Hiding in my locker, there's an ash walker
>He has a minibomb in his hands
>It's beeping.
>"Goodbye" - he says.
>Manage to run away far enough to avoid being gibbed
>Still lose two my limbs and fall into crit
>Warden who was passing by takes me to medbay
>I die in two seconds, of course, but the local doctor and medborg start reviving me
>It takes around 15 minutes, because I have no blood in my body and I'm missing two limbs, but they get there eventually
>Thank then from the bottom of my heart
>Tell the station the chilling tale of what happened
>You know what, I should probably vaccinate against brainrot.
>Head to medbay
>Suddenly collapse to the ground, as the vents expel foul green poison that fills my lungs
>It's a virus!
>I feel my body burn and contort in agony, as my bones warp and change shape, and my flesh is covered in rapidly growing scales
>I am...
>A lizard.
>In a karmic twist of justice, I have become what I hated
>I can not live on with the shame
>There is only one thing that can be done now
>Head to the brig in shame, hoping that nobody will recognize me on the way
>Put a cigarette into my mouth and light it
>Before putting the barrel of my energy gun to my temple and pressing the trigger
>As I join the realm of the dead, find out that the virus was released by that ash walker I gulagged for 500 points
>Two minutes later he will change the entire escape shuttle into lizards
