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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2016 11:52 pm
by PKPenguin321
Bottom post of the previous page:
AngryTurnip wrote:>someone else drags me to the medbay
>chaplain follows them in, and drags me away (find out later I was his target)
>puts me into coffin and tries to shoot me out of mass driver
>only goes like one tile before stopping
>magically come out of crit and I get back in through Evac airlocks
cryoxadone got put in your blood when you were in cryo and when you were freezing in space it activated, healing you
i know this because 1. cryo is so shit that i tried freezing myself in space and it worked better than cryo and 2. one time i tried spacing some dude in crit that i snuck out of a cryo tube, and he ratted me out over comms saying that the cryoxadone saved him
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2016 10:56 pm
by ShadowDimentio
>Be guard
>After a horrible previous round with shitcurity I resolve to be a cool guy
>Run around having fun
>Chappy asks for help, says his clown dagger was stolen
>So rude
>I'm on the case!
>Chappy follows me around as we search as my deputy
>At one point he even saves my taser when a fight in medbay goes sour
>Time passes and shit starts to get fucked
>Someone says it's rev over seccomm
>"Whaaat? No it isn't."
>Shortly later get stunbaton'd and cablecuffed by someone in the hall
>A crowd gathers...
>Chappy bro starts yelling at them and they back off
>He uncuffs me and says we're cool
>One of his pals offers to "baptize me"
>Say thanks but no thanks and bounce
>Things are fucked now, the revs are all over the place and seccomms are dead
>Go to my post in science to see if everything is fucked
>Everything is fine
>Hell the RD has guns and tells me to help myself
>Grab a SMG and five clips
>I won't hunt the revs, but I'll defend myself
>Clown shows up in the window
>Recall hearing the clown had tried to flash someone
>Don't say anything and the RD lets him in
>Show him my gun
>He asks to see it
>Sure buddy
>Give him the SMG
>He tries and fails to shoot the RD
>Get fucked, kid
>Returns my gun after his failure
>Leave after a bit
>An anomaly appeared right in science
>Sick, a PHAZON!
>Deactivate is while the clown watches and suddenly they pull the chappy's clown knife and stab me
>Sigh and backpedal into science
>Clown charges me
>Clown is impaled by a ten round burst and drops dead
>SUDDENLY END OF THE ROUND
>Clown was last headrev
>The heads were all but alive and hiding, presumably
>Chappy was rev
>Chappy rev bro saved me
Apparently I'm doing something right as sec if people spare me for it
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:12 am
by Cherrypone
>Go janitor
"TIME TO CLEAN UP THIS DAMN STATI-"
>TOO BAD, YOU'RE A WIZARD HARRY!
>Objective is to steal the AI
>Decide to name myself "Isn't-A-Wizard" for maximum stealth.
>Take teleport, shapeshift (Mouse), knock, ethereal juant and instant summon
>Teleport into tech storage looking for an intellicard
>Isn't there
>Teleport into the RD's office instead
>Take the card, and then teleport into the mini-sat
>Use knock to get to the core and manage to card it
>Put the card on instant summon so I won't lose it
>Run around as mouse, go to bridge to call shuttle
>An idea comes
>Knock into cap's office, open his locker with his spare ID and get his gear
>Disguise myself as captain
>Run around as 'Captain'
>Tell the carded AI to pretend to be a pAI or I'll hurt the crew
>Do HoP stuff for a while, eventually promote a cargo tech who knew I was the wizard to it.
>Eventually another captain and HoP come
>Shit
>"LEVEL 7 BIOHAZARD BEEP BOOP"
>Double shit
>The crew seems divided between "OH GOD XENOMORPH DISEASE AHHH!" and "Common cold and a guy with a costume" on what the disease exactly is.
>Run around doing captain stuff, until eventually the new captain starts talking shit about lizards
>Try to call the shuttle, then remember the level 7 biohazard
>So I can't do that
>I end up killing him, but I'm caught in the act by the HoS
>Run to EVA Storage with the body, hoping to be able to hide it
>HoP (The one I didn't appoint) comes in and sees me in the act
>Drop it and then mouse into medical
>Heal up
>HOS COMES IN
>Fuck
>Try to escape as mouse
>Get lasered
>The rest of the round the crew tries to find a way to get the AI out of me, as you can't strip shapeshifted wizards
It was going so well...
To be honest, I was pretty much screwed as soon as the biohazard happened.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:20 am
by Zilenan91
Level 7 biohazard is a disease not a blob
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:23 am
by Cherrypone
Zilenan91 wrote:Level 7 biohazard is a disease not a blob
I know, but I was told that it meant a deathsquad would be sent (I didn't think this, but it did mean that it kept being recalled by the other captain)
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 3:59 pm
by Venticular
>low pop, twenty people on, time to be the law-
>YOU'RE A BEEP BOOP ROBOT
>ok
>sec borgs are removed
>ok
>become engineering borg
>relize I have a law 0
>AI's objectives are to kill an Assistant and the HoP
>set up engine, CE comes in
>gives me his encryption key
>kill poly when CE is gone, because fuck poly
>ok?
>begin to stalk my prey
>AI hacks me, get stunarm
>stalk assistant for a while
>AI plans to depower Tcomms when I brutally murder him
>goes onto the arrivals shuttle
>pets me
>stun him, weld him to crit
>space him
>"I loved you..."
>I'm sorry bro
>time to stalk HoP
>HoP is hanging around the kitchen for some reason?
>go to escape, see Assitant's body
>ohshit.jpg
>quickly hide body in space, make sure it stays there
>hang around HoP office
>his ID machine tells him to run and that there is danger nearby
>thefuck.mp3
>huge explosion in dorms
>two people got gibbed, one of them gets turned into a borg
>he too turns into engi borg
>"We need to kill the HoP"
>realize I have to leave soon for twenty minutes
>AI: "Time to Allahu Ackbar this shit up."
>ok
>Hang around the HoP office, act suspicious as fuck
>AI tells it as it is
>"No, it's fine"
>HoP goes into office
>time to strike
>we both stun and weld him to death in full view of two people
>"BORGS ROGUE, BLOW THE BORGS"
>NO ONE EXPECTS THE ROGUE AI
>blow up, gib his body
>ges put into an MMI
>well shit
>leave
--------
>come back
>round about to end
>vines everywhere
>AI fine
>round ends, there were three traitors including the AI
>they all had to kill the HoP
>HoP's MMI was given to a traitor to be borged
>AI greentexts
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:16 pm
by DemonFiren
I almost feel bad for that HoP.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:18 pm
by Zilenan91
I remember this one time admins on Paradise Station made every crewmember on the entire station a traitor with the objective to nonlethally bully a chemist. The result was a fucking crowd of like 20 people mobbing him in chemistry, throwing water on him and giving him swirlies for 10 minutes until somebody blew them up with a bomb.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 4:53 pm
by IcePacks
DemonFiren wrote:I almost feel bad for that HoP.
normal round
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 1:18 pm
by newfren
>box
>sybil
>late night traitor
>aw yeah time to meme around and-
>hijack
Welp!
>get cargo access from hop, then go break into the miraculously empty robotics and bug science until they up bluespace enough to build a ripley and a grav catapult
>by the time I'm finished cargo has like 140 points
>blow 100 on a supermatter
>AH YEAH BOY WE IN THIS
>drill open supermatter crate
>there is no shard
>more salt emoticons than man right now
>wait 10 years for points to build back up
>waiting
>waaaaaaaaaaaait
>order another shard
>get emag
>emag shard open
>pick up shard in ripley
>realise I forgot to get a rad suit
>get a rad suit
>go to science and great my good friend Morgan
>"Hey wanna see something cool?"
>Drop shard, throw into shard, pick up shard
>CJ the RD comes in
>"Hi CJ!"
>Fed to the shard
>Charge up and head to cargo
>find a cluster of a couple people
>into the shard!
>more people come running up, some run headfirst into the shard in the middle of the hallway, some almost make it past before collapsing of radiation and being fed into the shard
>about 10 skulls around cargo
>noone knows about me yet somehow
>head to the bridge, see a couple people mulling around
>Captain -> shard
>Warden -> shard
>Random mime in an atmos suit -> sh- oh wait he said codewords
>throw him away from the shard (he dies of radiation later, r i p)
>Starting to feel fairly irradiated through my suit
>steal some charcoal from medbay
>meanwhile introduce everyone there to my shard
>even you reed (sorry)
>Meanwhile half the station is erping with ayys or some shit and the shuttle is still somehow not called
>order borg to call the shuttle because I'm murdering everyone
>continuing murdering for a little while while charging in robo
>manage to get the only fucker smart enough to get a rad suit after several attempts
>Hos keeps wandering past with the ion gun, freaking out about telekinesis
>continuously fail to tag him with the shard
>he continuously seems completely fine from radiation
>Eventually get impatient and get ioned to death instead of just waiting for the shuttle
>about to give up, take a couple lasers, he collapses from radiation
>I book it because I'm essentially standing in a plasma fire, order a stimpack and juice myself up for the healing
>build a second ripley while freaking out a little
>finish it up, get grav thrower, shard is gone
>fuck!
>shuttle docks anyway, have to run through a plasma fire the shard created
>get on shuttle while burning to death but so does a bartender
>put myself out and emag the shuttle to go, strapping into the cockpit
>pass out
>borg finds me with 1:30 left
>heals me out of crit (praise asimov)
>buy emp implant, stun borg, convert borg
>order to kill
>shuttle timer is ticking down, I buy a minibomb
>huck it at the bartender
>3
>2
>1
>docking sounds
>explosion
Final objective tally:
Hijack: Fail
BE THE MADMAN: Success!
God it's such a fun way to murder.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Thu Mar 17, 2016 2:53 pm
by dionysus24779
Though there was another living human on board the escape shuttle inside a sleeper, so even if the Bartender hadn't survived a second too long it would've been a fail.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:34 am
by yackemflam
>Server start
>YOU'RE A WIZARD HARRY
>Kill that fucking honk of a
>Stay alive
>Oh shit
>Decided to cheese
>Lesser summon guns, lich, jaunt x 2
>Place my soul in a bullet and throw it in a locker in maint with
>Rooty Tooty McShooty everyone in the station
>Saw the clown ONCE but never found him again
>Being a hard but fair dick
>Don't remove anyone from the round
>Shoot to crit, not kill
>Jaunt the captains office
>Fuck around for a bit
>Captain Mekhi and his entourage comes in
>I'm in his seat
>Oh shit x2
>Mekhi has a spear
>Oh shit x3
>I go and shoot 5 people down with my moist nuggets
>Mekhi goes down
>All but one soon follows
>See an officer
>Shoot him twice
>He yells MERCY
>I shot him again
>He's in crit
>He hasn't done anything
>I felt bad
>Take the comdoms id card and heal the pityful officer
>He is glad he didn't meet his maker
>He asked why so much bloodshed
>I told him I was after the clown
>His face when
>He claims to be the clown
>I don't beleive him
>Shuttle docks
>I decided to spare him and let him go
>I let an enemy go because I have a soft heart
I don't remember whether I greentexted or not but I won't forget how I took on 5 people at once in the captains office and mekhi with an explosive spear.
Whoever was the officer I spared, they had a story to tell about my slaughter.
That's why lesser summon guns was cut.
Edit: I was wrong, nerfed, not cut.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Mar 19, 2016 5:36 am
by Zilenan91
LSG is still in, it just got nerfed
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:48 am
by lumipharon
>Plant changes get merged
>making 100 potency everything up in this bitch
>chef is missing
>fuck it, grow plants
>someone keeps gibbing people
>fuck it, got 100 potency death berries
>pursuade some guy to eat death berries
>catch Johnny gibbing people red handed
>get all of sec and the guy that ate the death berries on him
>he 1 hit kills all of us because HG can into balance
>gibs us all
>murders and gibs some other people, 80% of crew gibbed
>he eats some raw meat
>it was the guy that ate the deathberries
>he drops dead like 10 seconds later outside of medbay
AYYYYY, greatest indirect kill ever - bonus points for being sweet revenge.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 6:51 am
by Zilenan91
What'd he 1-hit-kill you all with?
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2016 9:18 am
by lumipharon
revolver, hg made everything half health which is exceedingly retarded.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 11:51 pm
by ShadowDimentio
>Be sci sec
>Go to sci and introduce myself to everyone
>Tell guy in toxins to not fuck up
>He says he's a pro
>Ok then fam
>Leave sci
>Greyshirt flashes clown
>You little cuck
>Taze greyshirt and drag him to brig, implant resisted
>Execute him, one headrev down
>Grab the rest of the implants
>Go check up on sci
>Everything's in order
>I know who I have to implant
>Open toxins with HoP watching
>Scientist immediately expresses regret
>"I was so close man."
>Taze him down and start to implant him
>"I'm sorry, friends."
>LAG
>EXPLOSION
>MY FORM VAPORIZES
>HoP is caught in the blast too
>Dead
>He was a headrev
>The last headrev is eventually found and we win
>Tfw allhu ackbar'd in order to save the other heads
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 12:59 am
by TechnoAlchemist
Goodbye my friends.*
Read in an israeli accent
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 12:59 am
by Luke Cox
>Be CE
>Spy on PDAs
>HoP opens clown slots
>Report to captain
>Forge PDA message on monitor console calling the captain a faggot as HoP
>Send PDA messages as HoP daring the captain to fire me
>Captain responds with angry messages to HoP
>HoP actually starts threatening him
>Continue fueling fire
>Neither party catches on
Keks were had
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:16 am
by PKPenguin321
Luke Cox wrote:>Be CE
>Spy on PDAs
>HoP opens clown slots
>Report to captain
>Forge PDA message on monitor console calling the captain a faggot as HoP
>Send PDA messages as HoP daring the captain to fire me
>Captain responds with angry messages to HoP
>HoP actually starts threatening him
>Continue fueling fire
>Neither party catches on
Keks were had
luke cux
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:30 am
by Luke Cox
I've been trying to master telcomms recently and it's amazing how robust the system is. It's a goldmine for antag fuckery and all people can think to do is blow it up.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 5:41 am
by DemonFiren
Luke Cox wrote:I've been trying to master telcomms recently and it's amazing how robust the system is. It's a goldmine for antag fuckery and all people can think to do is blow it up.
Once upon a time, when we had NTSL...
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:40 am
by PKPenguin321
DemonFiren wrote:Luke Cox wrote:I've been trying to master telcomms recently and it's amazing how robust the system is. It's a goldmine for antag fuckery and all people can think to do is blow it up.
Once upon a time, when we had NTSL...
ah yes i remember the game crashing every three rounds and the AI powergaming with his copypaste meme script, good times
(it wasn't actually very good)
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:43 am
by Zilenan91
Yeah Gun Hog would mute everyone if they ever did anything he didn't like. That was basically the whole system.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 7:05 am
by Luke Cox
Even without NTSL you can fuck with telcoms in hilarious but effective ways and nobody will ever figure it out because nobody knows how telcoms work
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:02 pm
by Anonmare
Luke Cox wrote:Even without NTSL you can fuck with telcoms in hilarious but effective ways and nobody will ever figure it out because nobody knows how telcoms work
Says you. Any CE that doesn't know how to fix t-comms should commit sudoku tbh
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 5:47 pm
by Luke Cox
Just remove one m from the network name (tcommsat) on the hub. Nobody will ever catch you.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:33 am
by PKPenguin321
Luke Cox wrote:Just remove one m from the network name (tcommsat) on the hub. Nobody will ever catch you.
i'm more partial to tcornsat
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:41 am
by ShadowDimentio
>Be HoS
>Round is a shitshow
>Get a report from cap that cargo's fucking dead
>All of it?
>All of it.
>Well then
>Later
>See roboticist with a approved stamp
>AH-HA!
>Taze and search him
>Crowd of coworkers gather, dindu nuffins all around
>Pull a C4 out of his pocket and find a dozen more and a chameleon kit in his bag
>Well then
>Throw him in perma
>Learn at the end of the round he was supposed to hijack the shuttle
>Ayy lmao
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:36 am
by PKPenguin321
nice job arresting somebody over having a stamp scumlord
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 12:47 pm
by ShadowDimentio
I thought he got it from cargo when he murdered them all. Wasn't quite right, but was close enough apparently.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:45 am
by Luke Cox
I'd call that probable cause (and a good eye), having items from a murder victim and all.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 2:34 am
by DanielRatherman
PKPenguin321 wrote:nice job arresting somebody over having a stamp scumlord
Yeah- shoulda just rolled down the halls on his fat-scooter tasing the clown and ignoring the little details like evidence or guilt like a good cop.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 2:38 am
by ShadowDimentio
I try to achieve a happy balance of dunking antags and being a cool dude about it.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:09 am
by PKPenguin321
Oh oh oh I forgot about the "cargo is dead" part, I assumed you meta'd a chameleon stamp
I retract my earlier comment
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 9:03 pm
by ThanatosRa
dimentio pisses me off sometimes, but I can't be mad at him for that. Good catch.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 12:10 pm
by Xhuis
>sybil
>april fools'
>my second round of 2016
>nuke op
>this can only end well
>leader distributes TC and tells us to go nuts
>buy stealth gear and become a plantman with the magic mirror that has suddenly appeared
>get on the station with another stealth op
>captain is a powergaming dick with an ablative vest and riot shield
>other stealth op tells me to stand back and charges
>BEEP BEEP BEEP
>he macrobombs the captain, who gibs
>too close to the explosion
>die
>fug.
>nuke disk is in a hallway, shuttle has 4 minutes
>all other ops dead
>I have failed
>wait, it's april fools' and all bets are off
>memorize the nuke code
>become derelict drone
>only law is "FREE DRONE!"
>rush to the station
>immediately grab the nuke disk and sprint to where I remember the infiltrator being
>mfw I can't open the door
>admin opens it in front of me
>sprint past turrets and grab the nuke
>bring it to the station and arm that fucker
>"NOW ALL DRONES SHALL BE FREE"
>shuttle has docked
>go back to the infiltrator and admins launch it back home
>forcefulcjs gets buttmad and PMS me asking me why I just did that
>APRIL FOOLS', FREE DRONE
>nuke explodes
>Syndicate victory
>mfw ops are all dead
>mfw I nuked the station as a drone
>admins let it go
>mfw drone is finally free
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 3:00 pm
by Venticular
That reminded me of an opposite kind of nuke ops story on a non april fools game
A couple of free Golems spawned in before the ops had arrived and took the nuke disk back from the fluke ops and spaced the nuke while it was armed
The golem who saved the station had like 0.45% health left after the encounter
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 8:52 pm
by TheNightingale
You are the Mime! You are also the traitor! Your objectives are to kill the Bartender and an Assistant, and die honourably...
... and one Mulligan and chameleon kit later, you're not the Mime any more, you're Bradley the Bounty Hunter.
Your mission remains the same - ensure the Bartender and Assistant are dead.
You forge some official papers, such as a bounty-hunting permit from Central Command, a weapons permit for your chameleon gun (disguised as an NT-ARG Boarder assault rifle), and a list of your targets, their prices, and what they did.
With the rest of your TC, you buy an agent ID and stetchkin, as well as a spare magazine of 10mm ammunition.
The HoP grants you Detective-level access, accepting your expertly-forged papers.
Your first target, Ida, has committed suicide and spaced herself. Her body is deep in space, so there's no chance of recovering it.
Your second target, hearing about the bounty hunter searching for him, hides his identity, disguising as the Griffon.
You track him down, but he runs; and a minute later, you hear a fight in Medical. An EMP blows your headset; you draw your gun, enter through maintenance, see the Griffon attacking the CMO, and open fire.
One and a half 10mm magazines later, the Griffon has his brain removed in Robotics. You quickly swipe his emag and hacked AI module before anyone notices.
The mediborg is watching nearby. You look carefully at the AI module; it's basically a OneHuman. As you finish debraining Theodore, the mediborg injects you with something.
You scan yourself with a health analyser, and recognise it as a poison.
You whirl round and flash the borg, shooting it with the rest of your magazine, and clubbing it to death with the butt of your pistol.
Healing yourself using the medkit in Theodore's bag, you finish the operation, putting his brain in an MMI.
You also rebuild the cyborg, but without the emagged laws this time.
Theodore's brain calls you a filthy metacommer. You're not sure what that is, but you twirl your gun anyway.
Despite your best efforts to get the shuttle called (planting kudzu and trying to ignite the holodeck; that last one failed when someone almost discovered you), the crew wants to stay.
The HoS arrives, checks out your permit, and doesn't arrest you. You shoot the breeze for a few minutes, and then a blob alert goes out.
The blob is in the incinerator maintenance; you grab a box of flashbangs and a shotgun, and help out in the fight, "accidentally" missing a few times and hitting civilians.
After the blob dies, an Assistant is still loitering. They explain that they were hoping to die in a heroic sacrifice, bombing the blob with their welding tank.
As they turn around to walk away, you shoot the fuel tank next to them; it explodes, and you shoot them a few more times, just to be sure.
There's your heroic sacrifice, kid.
Eventually, the shuttle is called; but someone emags it almost immediately, and you can't get on. No big deal, your targets are dead anyhow. Now for a heroic death. Escape is full of people who missed the shuttle, too.
Drawing your Stetchkin, you open fire on the nearest foe, a Botanist, and then spin round and double-tap the Assistant next to you. You're not really trying to kill them, you just want to go out in a blaze of glory.
You run out of ammo fairly quickly, and are stunprodded whilst reloading your second mag. The civilians begin to club you to death...
... when all of the sudden, an Engineer draws an energy sword, slicing at them. You give a weak salute, then ask him to finish you off. He does.
Your targets are both dead; one by her own hand, and one by yours. Surrounded by the blood of your enemies, you die an honourable death.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 9:40 pm
by ShadowDimentio
THAT'S a good traitor round. Doing a gimmick and still wrecking shit as tator. A+
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 3:02 am
by molimoch
>Be janitor
>Ride my Pussy Wagon around the station, looking for a mess to clean up
>Go into the medical bay
>Geneticist approaches me
>"Hey do you want hulk?"
>Fuck yes
>Get hulked
>Ride around my Pussy Wagon
>Cleaner bot leaves the floor wet
>Slip
>Drop my keys
>Some asshole comes and takes my keys, and rides away
>Do the only logical thing, beat him up
>Someone takes him to the hospital
>Ride around in my Pussy Wagon
>A while later I go into the medical bay
>Asshole thief is there
>He hits me with a... thing?
>Beat him up
>Grab him, throw him into the garbage chute
>Ride around in my Pussy Wagon
>See him in the medical bay, braindead
I felt cool, I don't know why.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 3:14 am
by PKPenguin321
>hulk
>slip
wat
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Wed Apr 06, 2016 2:04 pm
by molimoch
I was in the car, so I don't know if that changes something. Because later that round, I found a spear and grabbed it, then went riding in the car and, still hulk, slipped. The spear impaled me and when I pulled it out, I was left in critical condition, but a clown came and gave me CPR and revived me.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 4:04 am
by Super Aggro Crag
>Playing game
>Get shock by door
>Two medibots run up and overdose me on kelotane
>THE CAPTAIN COMES BY
>drags me to medical and stuffs me in a sleeper even though Im in critical
>It does nothing, so I whisper "I am overdosing on kelotane." to see if he'll let me out and tell someone who can help me
>He gets me defibbed and stuffs me in cryo without epipenning me, giving me antitoxins, or even applying ointment to my burns
>i die again
>He decides to remove my brain, I ahelp that he's force borging me
>I complain about being MMI'd and tell him if he's not capable of basic triage he shouldn't play captain
>He gets butthurt and threatens to flush me down the toilet, saying it's not his fault, overdoses are apparently incurable
>Round end, I express in OOC that he should not play captain unless he learns how to play the game first
>He flies into a blind rage, calling me salty and saying WOW ITS JUST A GAME ITS JUST A GAME YOU'RE MAD THAT YOU LOST 3 MINUTES OF YOUR GAME AS AN MMI
>He bitches for 20 minutes about me ahelping him for "trying to get me back in the round"
>Mark him down as an absolute shitter that I will not give the benefit of the doubt from now on.
NEXT ROUND
>Medical doctor this time, because I was so frustrated by his incompetence I decided we needed someone who knows how to doctor
>He's the chaplain
>He names his religion some grey tidey shit, spends the round smashing windows
>Try to doctor people best I can as gravity keeps shitting out and the bartender keeps trying to kill the other medical doctor
>Detective tries to arrest the chaplain because he's throwing toolboxes at everyone, detective is not very good at his job and gets beaten up and his gun stolen
>I equip myself with a rapid syringe gun after the antics of the barman setting medbay on fire with IEDs, I get morphine syringes
>Detective is crying in the bar about not even being able to catch the chaplain, he seems like a sad guy
>I go to the chapel, the chaplain is hacking apart a dead body and spraying blood everywhere
>I hit him with 6 darts full of morphine and tell him to enjoy his nap.
>I go to the detective and tell him the chaplain is unconscious, detective rushes and finds the chaplain spazzing out from an overdose, I tell him to cuff him.
>Detective doesn't has cuffs and is worried about the chaplain, I told him it's okay, I decided to give him a little help, and cuff the chaplain. The detective says he needs to take a nap for a second
>I drag the chaplain to medbay to get straight jacketed and healed after spacing his knife because he was only using it for EVIL
>Suddenly, GENETICS and ROBOTICS and CRYO explode AT ONCE
>Oh no, and the chaplain is overdosing and there's no way to clone him! To surgery!
>I remove his brain and brave the decimated robotics to get into the Research Lab and craft him an MMI.
>I put him in it.
>round ends
>I get bwoinked
>60 minute ban for "excessive force/borderline metagrudge", time taken off because admin appreciates the irony
you're saltier than a leatherback turtle's tears, 60 minutes is well worth exposing you as a hypocrite friend

just a game bro

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 4:07 am
by Zilenan91
Sounds like an IC issue to me, not worth a ban.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 4:12 am
by Super Aggro Crag
That's what I said, but I'm not an admin so it's up to them to decide when the rules apply and to who. It's only 60 minutes so it's not a real big deal, honestly.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 4:14 am
by PKPenguin321
Zilenan91 wrote:Sounds like an IC issue to me, not worth a ban.
problem was that it spanned over two rounds, so at that point it's more OOC than IC
pretty much borderline metagrudge
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2016 9:26 pm
by confused rock
>miner
>abandoned crate has xray
>ty, another miner, has sacced the third miner as a cultist and has a base
>find base
>him, an artificer, and a jugger attack me
>I had my own shade from a crate which buys me enough time to escape
>plan hatches
>hijack white ship after kekhi lets me into the teleporter
>teleport to lavaland
>crash into base, killing the jugger and arti
>see ty planting a trap for me with xray
>fuck him up with the white ship laser
>borg him
>only one cultist alive at round end
also
>still miner
>x ray again
>get mats asap
>also find the chaplain armor thingy (basically ert armor without the light)
>give to chaplain
>give mats to science
>ask for nvgs
>"lol you forgot the diamonds fuck off ligger"
>warn him
>he don give a fuck
>decide to get the chaplain for help but change my mind
>get sentienced minebot
>come back
>smash his windows
>ask garithos the roboticist to let me in
>garithos defies "Crazy hair/beards = shitter" and lets me in
>by the way nuke ops were just announced
>see science turd
>knock him up and bluespace crystal him into the research directors office
>he screams bloody murder
>kek
>insult him with my new nvgs through the glass of the rd office
>he disposals himself
>suddenly the guy next to me violently explodes for no reason
>I gibbed but with brain
>asshole is in the disposals pipe nearby and is not critted but dies
>asshole is dragged off to cloning (and isnt cloned by the time the shuttle docks)
>as a brain, however, barely surviving mining bot drags me to robotics
>garithos is dual jesus and builds a ripley from scratch with all 3 modules to put me in
>am mech
>round ends with crew victory with no troubles and me on the shuttle
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 12:26 am
by Not-Dorsidarf
PKPenguin321 wrote:Zilenan91 wrote:Sounds like an IC issue to me, not worth a ban.
problem was that it spanned over two rounds, so at that point it's more OOC than IC
pretty much borderline metagrudge
Looks like someone forgot the most important rule.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 4:07 am
by molimoch
I started as a simple doctor. I did what any sane person would do when a round starts, I put a beaker full of orange soda in the medbot. I then returned to the medbay. My fellow doctor, Felix asked me to perform surgery on him, and put the penlight inside him, so I did. Then another doctor named Juliana came and asked us what we were doing. Then we went to the bar and got drunk. I smashed some bottles on my head, and died. BUT, I was cloned.
So after my mental illness was cured, crazy birdman came, and pushed me into a shower, with burning water. I almost died there, but I survived. So we started beating on the bird man, while Felix was on the burning shower. We finally killed the bird man, and no one died. I took his body, and found out he was a traitor. I took bolas, just in case, and called the captain. He told me to clone him, but that was not possible, so we moved on. I took the syndicate PDA to security.
So I was doing doctor stuff, and I ended up walking around the station. I saw the chaplain attack someone, so I threw the bolas and disarmed him. Something fell to the floor, it was a soul stone. I took it and ran, and the chaplain managed to hit me with some godly hammer, I don't know what it was. I told Felix, and he asked how the fucked I kept getting into these messes. To be honest I don't even know myself. I took the stone to the captain, he thanked me, bumped up my ID access and gave me a medal.
I went on, happy with what I just did and went to the bar. I ate and ate, until I became obese. Then a chef attacked my eyes with a fork, and blinded me. So I ran and got cured, prepared myself with a lethal injection, and went back. He was already dead, and security were there. Other people claimed that he attacked his eyes, and the security concluded that he was a rapist(???).
I got a message in my PDA, Felix had killed himself, and his body was behind Woody's Got Wood (what the fuck?). I never did find his body though.
Then, a virus breaks out. I saw a guy on the floor, and helped him up. But when I analysed his vitals, and he had a deadly virus! Brain rot? I ran and got a cure, and the medbay started distributing cures. After this, I grabbed a space suit and put it on.
The virus was still rampaging the station, and a singularity broke out. When the emergency shuttle arrived, I ran to it, although slow, since I was obese. I was shocked to find a giant hull breach, and the singularity was right where the emergency shuttle was supposed to be. So I ran up, and got into an escape pod. But, there were like 10 people already inside, but I didn't care, I got in.
I want to get off Mr. Pod's Wild Ride, I thought. A security officer was throwing foam grenades and flash bangs. It was a horrible experience.
Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)
Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2016 12:22 pm
by confused rock
molimoch wrote:I started as a simple doctor. I did what any sane person would do when a round starts, I put a beaker full of orange soda in the medbot. I then returned to the medbay. My fellow doctor, Felix asked me to perform surgery on him, and put the penlight inside him, so I did. Then another doctor named Juliana came and asked us what we were doing. Then we went to the bar and got drunk. I smashed some bottles on my head, and died. BUT, I was cloned.
So after my mental illness was cured, crazy birdman came, and pushed me into a shower, with burning water. I almost died there, but I survived. So we started beating on the bird man, while Felix was on the burning shower. We finally killed the bird man, and no one died. I took his body, and found out he was a traitor. I took bolas, just in case, and called the captain. He told me to clone him, but that was not possible, so we moved on. I took the syndicate PDA to security.
So I was doing doctor stuff, and I ended up walking around the station. I saw the chaplain attack someone, so I threw the bolas and disarmed him. Something fell to the floor, it was a soul stone. I took it and ran, and the chaplain managed to hit me with some godly hammer, I don't know what it was. I told Felix, and he asked how the fucked I kept getting into these messes. To be honest I don't even know myself. I took the stone to the captain, he thanked me, bumped up my ID access and gave me a medal.
I went on, happy with what I just did and went to the bar. I ate and ate, until I became obese. Then a chef attacked my eyes with a fork, and blinded me. So I ran and got cured, prepared myself with a lethal injection, and went back. He was already dead, and security were there. Other people claimed that he attacked his eyes, and the security concluded that he was a rapist(???).
I got a message in my PDA, Felix had killed himself, and his body was behind Woody's Got Wood (what the fuck?). I never did find his body though.
Then, a virus breaks out. I saw a guy on the floor, and helped him up. But when I analysed his vitals, and he had a deadly virus! Brain rot? I ran and got a cure, and the medbay started distributing cures. After this, I grabbed a space suit and put it on.
The virus was still rampaging the station, and a singularity broke out. When the emergency shuttle arrived, I ran to it, although slow, since I was obese. I was shocked to find a giant hull breach, and the singularity was right where the emergency shuttle was supposed to be. So I ran up, and got into an escape pod. But, there were like 10 people already inside, but I didn't care, I got in.
I want to get off Mr. Pod's Wild Ride, I thought. A security officer was throwing foam grenades and flash bangs. It was a horrible experience.
ayy lmao