/tg/Station 13

I promise I'll get back to this at some point.

i could do it but i would expect daily updates so it would propably be better to get somebody willing to update less often.

-nice necro memes-


Come on blue, what the fuck else do you have to do. Fix this shit

John_Oxford wrote: what the fuck else do you have to do.

my new galfriend
league ranked
sucking dick
college
work

Bluespace wrote:

John_Oxford wrote: what the fuck else do you have to do.

my new galfriend < 2d spessmans
league ranked < 2d spessmans
sucking dick < 2d spessmans
college < 2d spessmans
work < 2d spessmans

because obviously a 2d spessmangame is more important than any of those things

you got enough time to do rolls, come on m8

In lieu of me saying "fuck it" to responsiblity, I can try to take over this thread if you all would like to continue.

You're slightly extremely late

You can continue it if you want.

First, to finish off the last round of rolls, as seen below.

ShadowDimentio wrote:Slippy, Clown- Honk around victoriously. Then go tend to my bananas and plant some grapes and poppies for healing. Experiment on everything with the mutagen. While I wait, slip people who pass the window by throwing my peel at them.

Rolled 17! Your slip-honk combo is devastating, one which nobody can defeat. Everyone from the janitor to the captain get slipped by your fearsome banana, and this is with your first banana. This includes the incompetent CMO, whose telescopic baton you gleefully steal. The CMO tries to punch you and get it back, but you just slip them and honk in their face, causing them to walk away in shame. The engineer that they were going to rescue is now dead. Good job you murderous fuck.
Your bananas have reached 85 potency, and you now have some nice 40 potency green grapes and 72 potency poppies. On top of that, as part of the everything that you experiment on, you mutate the corpse of the botanist into the same corpse, but with an eerie smile. You are the ultimate gardener.

Screemonster wrote:Vlad Hunter, 2spooky cargotech

Well, that's... better than better than being dead, I guess.
Check to see if I have any of my stuff or whether some asshole looted it all.

Rolled 11! The only thing missing is your toolbelt and your budget insuls, which are both reasonably replaceable. Your ID and everything else are still there. You sit up but dizziness takes over, making you fall back down with a "Thud!" that probably would have hurt, if it were not for your lack of feeling.

srifenbyxp wrote:I channel my Bear Chi into the scientist transforming him into Half Man/Half Bear. I assumed if I roll high enough he can support my weight, maybe even shoot lasers from his mouth.

Spoiler:

Rolled 1! Critical failure! You spend all of your Bear Chi trying to convert this scientist, but instead of transforming him into a man-bear, you transform him into gibs. Not only that, but you're absolutely exhausted and the extreme exertion left you with an aneurysm which might or might not pop.
Rolled 5! The aneurysm doesn't pop, but you have one hell of a headache.

tuypo1 wrote:ran dom name-warden

do i know about the execution if so order the body brought to cloning (nicely they did not know i was there no need to get mad)

if not eat a frosted dounut while checking high security areas on the cameras taking note of what is in the caps office for the detective. Use the request console to order some dounots from the kitchen normal priority.

Do you know about the execution? Rolled 12! You see and hear hints of some shady security business going on, with more people than usual screaming about shitcurity over the radio. You demand an explanation from your officers and one of them admits to executing the prisoner. You yell at them to bring the body to cloning, and the officer that confessed does so. Your officers don't look like they give much of a shit, though, and wander off nonchalantly, stunbatons in hand.

Thunder11 wrote:Jazmin Malcovich - Assistant - Snip the cablecuffs with my claws and scratch the HoP to death

Rolled 8! Your hands are restrained, how the hell are you supposed to cut the cablecuffs off of your own hands? Still, you manage to wear down the cuffs a fair bit, and maybe you'd succeed if you had a little more time. You scream for help, but the airlocks are too airtight to do anything about it. He puts his finger on your mouth. "Shhhshhshhh, it's okay, no need to worry. I'm not gonna hurt you." His face then twists, getting more sinister. "Don't make me use this," he threatens, pulling out the muffle from medbay. "I don't like loud kittens."

peoplearestrange wrote:Tacheto Bill - Nuke Op
Wipe my mouth of vomit and tell the crew to avoid the implants, must be a bad batch.
Re-colour my jumpsuit to grey and set my Agent ID to a generic Assistant name and set the job to assistant. Hide anything operative like in my backpack.

Rolled 13!After fidgeting with the controls, you manage to flicker your jumpsuit to the greyshirt mode. After shoving all operative-like things in your bag, you set your ID's name to "Christian Greyshirt" and your job to "assistant", lowercase letter included. You're now Christian Greyshirt with bare feet, and your toesies are getting chilly.

Vlad Hunter, skelememe cargotech.
Fuckit, back to work. That stuff's replacable. Yell at engineering to fix the cargobay.

Slippy, Clown- Harvest my glorious mutated plants and heal with them. Prowl after the captain and attempt to slip and loot the disc, as a responsible clown should.

Wyzack wrote:Caleb Robinson

Get to my feet, extend my ass-kicking baton with a flick of my wrist
"You done just fucked up"
Beat him into submission

Rolled 10! The hulk of a man starts shouting at you with his unintelligible Scottish gibberish. You can't help but laugh at how ridiculous this man sounds - bad idea. Your snicker enrages him, and he charges at you, landing a solid hit on your face. You black out and wake up moments later, the man looming over you with a fist raised. Your eye catches a familiar glare to your right, and you can hear the angels singing for you. Grabbing your baton, which had fallen next to a few of your teeth, you whack him square in the stomach moments before his fist hits your face, making him flinch just enough for you to wrangle yourself to a standing position. Now you're squared off with this Scottish hulk. Rolled 14! He tries to lift himself to throw another punch but you dodge it nimbly, striking him down with another whack behind his neck. A few solid hits later and he's in a fetus position on the floor, vomiting the obscene amounts of alcohol he drank before challenging you, bruises all over from your fearsome baton. You take in your victory with pride before you feel a dangerous wooziness, suddenly realizing how much pain you're in.

Xhuis wrote:Drone (298), maintenance drone - whine in deadchat for a bit and then try to run through my routine again.

Rolled 20! Critical success! Not only do you activate successfully, but everything stops and a Sailor Moon-esque transformation sequence flashes in front of the eyes of everybody else as you transform into The Best Drone Ever, bright colors and sparkles everywhere. You swear you can hear the ghosts clapping for you.
You hear a voice in your head...That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I will grant you one hat, any hat, of your choice.

Laz0rgrunt wrote:Thomas Laser

Get up off the floor, dust myself off, and try to salvage the taser slug for any intact shells. Then proceed to open the door for the Operatives to gear up. Pray to the gods for a wizard apprentice.

Rolled 9!There are no more intact shells, and the gods refuse to answer your prayers. The door was unlocked anyway so you just stand there, looking like an idiot holding open an automatic airlock.

John_Oxford wrote:Bill Strat - Nuclear Operative

Rush to the locker containing the syndicate duffle bag, take the gear that i can't wear with a hardsuit off and put it into the duffle bag, pull the straps all the way out so that it hangs below my backpack when i wear it around my neck. Take out a bulldog from the locker and walk over to where the hardsuits are kept. Put on a hardsuit, set to travel mode, set my gear up to be space worthy.

Pray to the gods for a teleporter board, construct the teleporter, pick up a beacon off the table and strap it to my leg facing outwards, and program it to a specific channel. Run across the hall and pick up a radio headset for bimbo, take bimbo out of my backpack and explain to him that when i signal him over the radio, he's going to jump through the teleporter prepared for combat. Set bimbo on the floor, pet him and tell him he's a good dog.

Get all my shit together, buckle into a chair.

Rolled 14!You ignore your comrade and head to the locker, successfully loading up the dufflebag with the basic gear and a bulldog with an extra clip. The dufflebag around your neck is uncomfortable but it works, making you feel awesome for having two bags on at once. Rolled 10! You pray to the gods and, while waiting for a response, strap the beacon to your leg. You're almost done explaining the plan to Jimbo/Bimbo when You hear a voice in your head...Ehhh, you can probably manage without it. Sighing, you pet Bimbo and tell him he's a good dog. He barks happily in response. You double check all your gear and buckle into a chair. Maybe if you ask again, they'll change their mind?

Jazaen wrote:Shannah Rader
I try to enable the pAI, or at least check for useful personality-independent programs on it.

You know wearing anything around your neck is a bad idea when someone might juuuuust pull it, right? SS13 isn't exactly safe

Rolled 5!No, he does not know that. You find nothing useful on the pAI. That's not much of a surprise.

DaemonBomb wrote:Roze Armitage, Chief Engineer

Set my headset to command and inform the HoS that I'm coming to perma to check on an atmospherics alert. Also, inform him, the AI, and the Captain that my advanced hardsuit and personal locker were stolen, meaning the highly classified station blueprints may be in the hands of some turncoat. Request that the HoS launch an investigation and that the AI alert security if they see someone wearing a white hardsuit.

On my way to the brig, realize I hadn't checked if the Singularity Engine was operating. Ask an engineer to check on it over the Engineering Channel

Rolled 9! You hear a chuckle from the RD, and then the AI responds, "I ᴡɪʟʟ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ." On the way to perma you remember that you never checked the engine and ask your engies if anyone took care of it. One atmos tech says that it's not their job, and the other one - the one with the thick accent - says that they're making a state-of-the-art turbine engine and that a singulo will not be necessary. Or you think that's what they said. You can't quite tell, with their accent. You make a note to yourself to check on the engine when you get back to engineering. Upon arriving at the brig, a sec officer lets you in through to perma, and you're given a warm welcome by the carp that presumably made the big hole in the window across the room. You take a bit of damage but manage to kill it before heading over to the hole. You then realize that your RCD is empty and you have no spare construction materials on your person. You rub your cheek, a bruise starting to grow.

LdShade wrote:Keith Sammich, Assistant.

Open the parcel while next to someone.

Rolled 19! You open the parcel. It's a strange, tube-shaped box. Opening that, you see that you've just picked up a fucking jackpot. You slam the box closed and head into maint for a little privacy and to keep that dirty mime from stealing the box. You open the package up again. In it is a modular receiver, a martial arts scroll, and an esword. You're so happy you could die. Rolled 3! You don't die from happiness.

Ezel wrote:Name: Sans
Job: Assistent
Action: I call the gods cheesy

Rolled 10! You hear a voice in your head...Is that fuckin' right? Something then hits you on the head from above. Rubbing your head, you see that that something was a wheel of cheese. Another wheel of cheese falls to the ground a few feet away. Cheese begins to spawn all over the place. Cheese under the tables, in the bins, at the HoP's line.
[Common] Bones McGee asks, "WHERE IS ALL THIS CHEESE COMING FROM??"

Bluespace wrote:

John_Oxford wrote: what the fuck else do you have to do.

my new galfriend
league ranked
sucking dick
college
work

Rolled 5! Beads of sweat dribble down your face. Suspicious looks burn into your soul. Bet you wish you could...Bluespace outta here! Nyeheheheh!

Screemonster wrote:Vlad Hunter, skelememe cargotech.
Fuckit, back to work. That stuff's replacable. Yell at engineering to fix the cargobay.

Rolled 15! You head back to work and, much to your surprise, the place is already entirely repaired, atmos and electronics and all. The gods even left you a little present as an apology, a pile of bones with the words "meme" written on them. Humming happily, you place an order for insuls, pausing before sending the shuttle to see if there's anything else you'd like to order.

ShadowDimentio wrote:Slippy, Clown- Harvest my glorious mutated plants and heal with them. Prowl after the captain and attempt to slip and loot the disc, as a responsible clown should.

Rolled 13! Having healed up entirely, you arm yourself with your powerful plants and head for the captain, calling for him over the radio. You ask the AI to locate the captain and the AI, after a pause, tells you that they're in the Captain's Office. The AI ignores your Law 2 requests to open the bridge, though, so you're stuck outside of the bridge doors, waiting for an opportunity.

Slippy, Clown- Press my face against the window and await an opportunity.

Name: Sans
Job: Assistent
Action: I try to eat all the cheese

Vlad Hunter, Cargotech

Check the points and see if there's any other fun shit I can afford. If not, call it.

Bill Stat, Nuclear Operative
Realize i've been buckled into a chair for a little over 6 months, and completely forgot what the fuck im doing here.

Organize all my shit so i'm not carrying assloads of everything in existance, get my shit together, put my dog back in my backpack, walk over back to the main part of the syndicate outpost and get something to eat, considering i haven't moved or eaten in six months.

Somewhere the disk dreams.

and so the glorious thread of nuclear operations goes into another state of inactivity

see you lads in 6 months.

Imma join this

Latejoin as chaplain Kai Lawren
have someone change job to shitlord
change null rod to dark esword


1 pray to the dark lords of the shit to gain telekinesis
2 scream about my dead grandpa
3 look for grandfathers Esword in maint

IT'S NOT SIX MONTHS YET

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

where did ya come from
where did ya go
where the fuck are you
blue space mc joe

>fucking up fonts this bad

Can someone continue this GODDAMN THREAD

Its been 13 days please update

Oh, for fucks sake. It's over, and you can't necromance whole forum game into existence, especially not by shitposting like that. Please, just move it to the Shed. Archive it. Close it. Start a new one. Do SOMETHING. But, most importantly...
LET.
IT.
DIE.

Jazaen wrote: But, most importantly...
LET.
IT.
DIE.

20! it dies a happy death surrounded by friends family and all who cared about it.