ITT: We make shitty suggestions and come up with poor ideas.

Superneji · Post by **Superneji** » Wed Mar 25, 2015 10:39 pm #78057

Bottom post of the previous page:

Putting on a spacesuit takes 20 minutes of real time, you can choose to put in on quickly in just 5 minutes, but with a 1% chance per tick of it becoming unsealed in space, killing you.
This will add to my emulsions

Wed Mar 25, 2015 11:11 pm

Tokiko2 wrote:Allow fire to spread from one person/monkey to others through physical contact. Hugging, pulling, bumping into, grabbing, disarming or even punching spreads the fire.

Expand 20 monkeycubes in the halls, set one monkey on fire and then watch the chaos unfold as people accidently bump into them. Or ignite yourself while wearing a firesuit so you can punch people to light them on fire.

wrong thread

Raven776 · Post by **Raven776** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 4:12 am #78165

Since robots got a new font, roundstart clowns should be given comic sans as a font.

Post by **MisterPerson** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:02 am #78178

Raven776 wrote:Since robots got a new font, roundstart clowns should be given comic sans as a font.

*wingdings

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 2:58 pm #78228

Wingdings is for mimes, so one way or the other there will be no verbal communication.

Either that or lizardspeak.

Balut · Post by **Balut** » Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:25 pm #78262

Drynwyn wrote:Actually, at the very least, grabbing someone who is on fire should probably cause burn damage.

Unless you're wearing oven mitts, right?

Also, "Divine" Lawset.

#1: Thou shalt not touch yellow blocks.
#2: Thou shalt not touch blocks or walls from the side.
#3: Thou shalt not walk left.
#4: Thou shalt not touch living things.
#5: Thou shalt no longer check the Book of Laws.

Miauw · Post by **Miauw** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:27 am #78545

not walking left is easy, since you can't strafe in spesshmans

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:49 am #78550

Wait till you hit a fork in the corridors.

EndgamerAzari · Fri Mar 27, 2015 7:02 pm

Imagine if the chef could refine foods into essences of pure flavor and combine them to make new food. Or just forcefeed people Essence of Sour and make their face implode.

Allohsnackbar · Fri Mar 27, 2015 7:54 pm

EndgamerAzari wrote:Imagine if the chef could refine foods into essences of pure flavor and combine them to make new food. Or just forcefeed people Essence of Sour and make their face implode.

Wrong thread. Actually a good idea, with some sort of flavor extracting process you need to go through multiple times to get it super pure, like olive oil.

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Fri Mar 27, 2015 11:01 pm #78766

Mind control dart: use this on an entire and you can use it to fire said dart at someone. Once shot, you can use a remote control to take over their mob 3 minutes. During this period of time their screen is black. Use it to frame someone for murder, make them read WgW over the radio, or just sort of toss themselves out the airlock.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Mon Mar 30, 2015 1:09 pm #79226

Sentience Potions should work on the Singularity.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Mar 30, 2015 1:25 pm #79229

Or the S&M.

Balut · Post by **Balut** » Tue Mar 31, 2015 8:28 am #79442

Jacough wrote:Mind control dart: use this on an entire and you can use it to fire said dart at someone. Once shot, you can use a remote control to take over their mob 3 minutes. During this period of time their screen is black. Use it to frame someone for murder, make them read WgW over the radio, or just sort of toss themselves out the airlock.

This sounds like it would be absolutely hilarious.

Post by **MisterPerson** » Tue Mar 31, 2015 8:47 pm #79624

Drynwyn wrote:Sentience Potions should work on the Singularity.

Also docility so the damn thing doesn't move anymore.

EndgamerAzari · Thu Apr 02, 2015 2:19 pm

All the weird names from Key & Peele's East-West Bowl sketches should be added to the random names list.

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Thu Apr 02, 2015 10:31 pm #80039

Klingons. All the weapons, all the armor and clothes.

To show up and battle assistants for honor and glory.

Tokiko2 · Post by **Tokiko2** » Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:25 pm #80052

New traitor item: Syndicate gloves
Cost: 7 TC

You can toggle these on or off. If they're on, you're able to punch things with a 80% lower click delay but you will take half the damage you'd cause with a punch as stamina damage. Attempting to punch/attack with items in your hand will drop them on the floor instead.

fartman · Post by **fartman** » Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:35 pm #80053

yo that actually sounds awesome
fuck the coders im addin that shit

ClumsyAlcoholic · Tue Apr 07, 2015 1:53 pm

asistants spawn with meteor-pens and an item that summons guns every 5 minutes for wizards

Wed Apr 08, 2015 12:31 pm

ClumsyAlcoholic wrote:asistants spawn with meteor-pens and an item that summons guns every 5 minutes for wizards

New wizard spell: Summon wizards. A new wizard equal to themselves is created with different objectives. Like Ragin' Mages, no attacking in the spawn area, but other than that, anything goes!

Would quickly turn into wizards endlessly summoning wizards but hey, that's half the fun.

Gun Hog · Post by **Gun Hog** » Wed Apr 08, 2015 9:49 pm #81138

Malf AI mech domination! Are you sick of those pesky Phazons teleporting through your core and Durands blasting your poor little borgies to bits? Pay 30 CPU to EJECT THE PILOT (if any) AND CONTROL IT YOURSELF! Make the RD shed tears as the mech he spent half the round making beats him to crit! AH HAH!

Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:20 pm

Gun Hog wrote:Malf AI mech domination! Are you sick of those pesky Phazons teleporting through your core and Durands blasting your poor little borgies to bits? Pay 30 CPU to EJECT THE PILOT (if any) AND CONTROL IT YOURSELF! Make the RD shed tears as the mech he spent half the round making beats him to crit! AH HAH!

guys this is the SHITTY IDEAS thread stop with this good idea shitposting

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Wed Apr 08, 2015 10:42 pm #81150

MisterPerson wrote:
ClumsyAlcoholic wrote:asistants spawn with meteor-pens and an item that summons guns every 5 minutes for wizards
New wizard spell: Summon wizards. A new wizard equal to themselves is created with different objectives. Like Ragin' Mages, no attacking in the spawn area, but other than that, anything goes!

Would quickly turn into wizards endlessly summoning wizards but hey, that's half the fun.

Even better, summon wizards summons a wizard to the tile of every player. These wizards are mindless mobs that spam magic missile and horsemask

Post by **lumipharon** » Thu Apr 09, 2015 2:53 am #81187

SO wizarditis at it's final stages causes spontaneous robe growth, yelling of spell type things, and teleporting around.

What if the wizard could weaponise this - instantly infecting people with it at max level.
Soon the station would be full of fake wizards incontrollably teleportering around, helping disguise the wizard.

Saegrimr · Post by **Saegrimr** » Thu Apr 09, 2015 4:54 am #81195

The wizard vending machine has/had a bottle of it in there, but you have to hack it. Good luck.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Thu Apr 09, 2015 3:14 pm #81247

Saegrimr wrote:The wizard vending machine has/had a bottle of it in there, but you have to hack it. Good luck.

You literally CAN'T hack it, though, since you can't return to the Den after you leave, and the den doesn't have a screwdriver or wirecutters on it.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Apr 09, 2015 3:16 pm #81248

That is why you trade a spell point for a toolbox.

TheNightingale · Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:20 pm

Drones need a hardsuit-piercing neurotoxin hypospray they can only use when curled up in a ball (i.e. when they've been picked up).

Raven776 · Post by **Raven776** » Sat Apr 11, 2015 10:28 pm #81694

DemonFiren wrote:That is why you trade a spell point for a toolbox.

End your wizard round as a burnt up husk on the floor of your den.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:41 am #81729

TheNightingale wrote:Drones need a hardsuit-piercing neurotoxin hypospray they can only use when curled up in a ball (i.e. when they've been picked up).

It also bans the drone player on use.

Post by **MisterPerson** » Sun Apr 12, 2015 8:26 am #81766

Drones should be able to wear dead humans as a hat.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Apr 12, 2015 11:53 am #81797

Wrong thread, this sounds glorious.

Screemonster · Post by **Screemonster** » Mon Apr 13, 2015 8:13 pm #82021

Using a revolver or cap gun on a banana should convert it into a disguised banana-gun. It would literally be identical to the revolver/capgun apart from having a banana name/sprite.

Naturally, someone clicking themselves with it (like, to eat it) will cause them to shoot themselves in the face.

Honk.

Gun Hog · Post by **Gun Hog** » Tue Apr 14, 2015 9:50 pm #82240

PKPenguin321 wrote:
Gun Hog wrote:Malf AI mech domination! Are you sick of those pesky Phazons teleporting through your core and Durands blasting your poor little borgies to bits? Pay 30 CPU to EJECT THE PILOT (if any) AND CONTROL IT YOURSELF! Make the RD shed tears as the mech he spent half the round making beats him to crit! AH HAH!
guys this is the SHITTY IDEAS thread stop with this good idea shitposting

So I was really, really bored, and I put this together: MECH JACKING!
It might never fly on /tg/, but hey, maybe a downstream server or someone that likes gimmicks. I always need more practice for coding actual things! It feels good to produce something, even if it will never be used!

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:09 am #82456

It must be awesome regardless.

Now...Connecting a pAI doorjack to an inteliCard turns that pAI into a full AI with its supplementary directives for laws.

Loonikus · Post by **Loonikus** » Fri Apr 17, 2015 6:15 am #82606

Gamemode: Game of ThronesDepartments

Space Winter is coming...

Yes. Once again the station prepares itself for Space Winter. The Space Wizard Federation, mysterious as ever, has always sent out magical warning to all major political entities in space when the mystical Space Winter is nearing. Space Winter is not understood by even top NT scientists, and corporate espionage has shown not even major rivals such as Cybersun Industries or Donk Co. have any further insights on the nature of Space Winter. All that is known is what is obviously perceivable: it universally effects anywhere outside of the atmosphere of a planet. Howling gales of space blizzards coat stations in space snow, flurries whip their way through the hallways like blue, frosty greytides, plants refuse to grow, singularities are smothered and supermatter nullified, and the suns shine just a bit duller. But most mysterious of all are the White Walkers, completely unknown, seemingly undead entities who emerge from the Space North to mercilessly kill all in their path.

And now the call has gone out. Centcom has gotten word that Space Winter is coming. There will be no shuttle until Space Spring arrives again. But you, crewman, know that not everyone will survive this Space Winter. Indeed, there are not enough supplies to go around, you must work with your department to survive, either by making powerful alliances or by taking supplies from others. Winter is coming, and you must do anything and everything to ensure you and your people survive.

Premise

The round begins as it typically does. However, about 10-15 minutes into the round, a Centcom announcement arrives warning the crew that winter is coming. At this point the crew realizes that they do not have the supplies to all outlast the winter together, and the round essentially turns into Nations. Each crewman is only loyal to their department head, all other departments are fair game to anything. However, you should not concern yourself with your valids, for you only have 30 minutes before Space Winter arrives and there is much to do. Space Winter is incredibly harsh, no department except maybe cargo can possibly survive Space Winter alone. You must either work together with other departments or simply take what you need. But be warned, betrayal can come from anywhere. After Space Winter is over the shuttle is automatically sent to pick up survivors.

Space Winter

Space Winter is the single most robust event in the game. Period. To survive Space Winter you will need to be completely prepared for anything. Space Winters arrival is announced by a bone chilling howl of Space Winter wind and the following effects:

-The sun is blotted out by space snow storms. Solars will not function.
-For the duration of Space Winter, the temperature lowers considerably. All the space suits have been bluespaced off your station to be used on Centcom personnel, so you will have to find warm jackets and space heaters to stave off the cold. Thankfully, the ambient temperature is only cold enough to slow you down, but not hurt you.
-Space Snowstorms blast through the main hallways and maint randomly. They heavily obscure vision and are cold enough to cause serious frostburns if you linger in them.
-The snow and gales put out any singularity and nullify supermatter. The only way to produce power is pacman generators, but obviously they can only be used to power limited parts of the station for a short time. Guard your power well if you have a generator, cut your department from the grid and only connect it with allies. There is not enough to go round.
-Plants will wither and die. You cannot grow more food. Also, Space Winter is demanding on the body, starvation can be lethal. Stock up on food before Space Winter.
-White Walkers spawn in snowstorms, seeking those they can kill. Their victims become zombie like shambles. They mysteriously disappear at the end of winter and almost only spawn in the main halls and a few in maint.
-Deep rolling clouds blot out space light, making all lights less effective on the station. Darkness creeps outside the great fortified castle departments.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:50 am #82615

You forgot the most efficient engine by far, the Dwarven Protolathe Engine.

Power cells produced by the protolathe or exosuit fabricators come out fully charged, and contain enough power to fully recharge an APC by replacing the cell, and don't require any extra power to produce.

Cell chargers work the same way, they charge power cells with much more energy than they drain from the APC.

Hell, you can even use this trick with energy weapon rechargers since you can take the cells out of stunbatons.

Screemonster · Post by **Screemonster** » Thu Apr 23, 2015 8:10 pm #83651

Add helium to atmo.

Displaces air like any other gas so you could use it as a fire suppressant I guess but the main purpose would be that anyone who breathes in it has their say text changed so it reads "squeaks" instead of "says".

Gun Hog · Post by **Gun Hog** » Thu Apr 23, 2015 8:28 pm #83653

Screemonster wrote:Add helium to atmo.

Displaces air like any other gas so you could use it as a fire suppressant I guess but the main purpose would be that anyone who breathes in it has their say text changed so it reads "squeaks" instead of "says".

Use Nitrogen to do this. As for squeaky voices, you could probably get Goofball to make a font for it. Oh, and you can use NTSL to change someone's say verb to whatever you want!

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Apr 23, 2015 9:13 pm #83670

Gun Hog wrote:
Screemonster wrote:Add helium to atmo.

Displaces air like any other gas so you could use it as a fire suppressant I guess but the main purpose would be that anyone who breathes in it has their say text changed so it reads "squeaks" instead of "says".
Use Nitrogen to do this. As for squeaky voices, you could probably get Goofball to make a font for it. Oh, and you can use NTSL to change someone's say verb to whatever you want!

We already have a font for this, it's called 'Comic Sans'.

Xhuis · Post by **Xhuis** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 2:51 am #83712

Change Gang mode to Clan mode. Similar to DayZ and other zombie-related game clans, gangs now have communication. They have special headsets called 'ventriloes' or 'teamspeaks' that allow them to communicate with their fellow gang members. In addition, they can purchase hacks that allow them to move through walls and take more hits.

qwert · Post by **qwert** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 5:01 am #83742

mini-nuke grenades in nuke ops uplink

Post by **MisterPerson** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:40 pm #83852

Bluespace meteors: They simply appear in the middle of the station.

Scones · Post by **Scones** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 8:51 pm #83853

port baymed

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 9:12 pm #83856

ZAS > baymed. If you have to choose your horrors, choose them properly.

TheNightingale · Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:03 pm

Why not both? Baymed itself is horrifying, but amplified by ZAS, a million times more.

Scones · Post by **Scones** » Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:19 pm #83873

TheNightingale wrote:Why not both? Baymed itself is horrifying, but amplified by ZAS, a million times more.

on an unrelated note i would like to nominate running into nightingale on bay totally by accident as one of the more awkward ss13 experiences ive had

TheNightingale · Fri Apr 24, 2015 10:58 pm

Scones wrote:
TheNightingale wrote:Why not both? Baymed itself is horrifying, but amplified by ZAS, a million times more.
on an unrelated note i would like to nominate running into nightingale on bay totally by accident as one of the more awkward ss13 experiences ive had

Come now, I wasn't that bad...
I was just as surprised as you; it's weird to think that, outside of 2d /tg/ spacemans, people actually play other 2d spacemans as well.

Cipher3 · Post by **Cipher3** » Sat Apr 25, 2015 9:23 pm #84059

Space Winter should happen.

Sat Apr 25, 2015 11:51 pm

new traitor item: the glue virus, for 1 TC
once purchased, the glue virus appears in your hands, forcing anything else in your hands onto the floor
the glue virus is a ball of sentient glue, and once it sticks to something it can never never never be removed
anyone/thing you touch with the glue virus will start being pulled around by you, and a glue virus appears in their hands
with the glue virus, you can pull more than one person/item, meaning you can stick as many things as you want
if attacked with any kind of weapon, the attacker will be forced to drop the weapon and be stuck to you, as well
physical projectiles like bullets get caught in the thick glue film and cannot hurt you

watch as giant trains of people infected with the glue virus follow behind you
laugh in crazed hilarity as you force your train of 50 people out an external airlock, sacrificing yourself along with the rest of the crew
watch as centcomm desperately tries to send an ERT as they vainly try to shoot past your wall of 50 gluey items and crewmembers
cry in hilarity as the ERT and the station's AI and borgs get stuck on the train as well
play the hit classic game "Snake" with living humans being both the snake and the pellets

the possibilities are endless