Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

danno · Post by **danno** » Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:06 am #58071

Bottom post of the previous page:

>play mechanic
>fixing the breath
>police man com
>he beat me
>i bleending

chesquatt · Post by **chesquatt** » Mon Jan 12, 2015 1:48 am #58117

>Am Greyshit
>get in argument with chef
>Chef srts throwing shit at me
>Retreat and lick wounds
>Chef leaves, I hop over counter and hide in locker with a tray
>Beat chef with tray
>Greyshits and medical doctors hop over the counter and chaos ensues
>I hide in disposals
>Sec comes in, right as I get flushed.

>Arrive in disposals, haggered and scared
>Cargo had set up a trash shop of everything flushed
>sec closing in fast
>I strip naked and say "I am your merchandise"
>Hop on counter right as sec demands they hand me over
> I tell cargotechs "You gotta protect yer merchandise what from the ebil gubment"
>Sec comes into room, only to hear a shotgun being cocked
> "Yall best get out" says the Cargotech, cargo rallying in support for their comrades
> Spend the rest of the round happily as merchandise in a trash store, eventually bought and killed by a tator, I did not fight back.

chesquatt · Post by **chesquatt** » Mon Jan 12, 2015 1:52 am #58119

Xhuis wrote:->write an appeal and distribute copies of it across the station
>nobody listens
>gather all the members of the HWU, salute, and jump out the mass driver

I was the lawyer. We got a handful of lizards fired, the HOP got shat on for it. Got Jimmy Hoffa'd by an ex-union worker turned sec/tator.

capi duffman · Post by **capi duffman** » Mon Jan 12, 2015 8:19 am #58232

>latejoin as chef
>When I get to the kitchen there is another chef already working.
>The fridge has a fuckton of everything, and is only 15 minutes in.
>Third chef comes in, he doubts about getting to work, but I convinced him to stay.
>He's an amazing bro, and we work together perfectly.
>We make insane ammounts of food.
>The brotanists ensure we dont run out of anything, including supplying us with more monkey cubes we could ever use.
>Some random rev comes and flashes us (Apparently it was a changeling/rev round) but we keep working on doing rare dishes.
>The shuttle is called, and I have to go braindead for a moment.
>When I come back, I found myself just entering the shuttle, dragged by bro.
>Heads die before the shuttle returns

40/10 round. As a chef this was surely the most enjoyable round I've ever had. Both my co-workers and the guys in botanics were awesome.

____________________________
Same round as: 420weedscopes

>Engineer, time to set up thos-
>NOPE, YOU TATOR, OFF ME SOME CHEMIST
>Buff, I'm the most unrobust scrub you may find in the station, and chemist scum live holed up in their lair.
>CE resigns, and a new one enters office, and this guy likes to control things, luckily I claimed setting up solars.
>Time for some singulo
>Set up beacon, and return to engineering.
>Ai was whining about broken cameras, and the CE attacked me on sight, because he suspected me
>Luckily he was too busy to pay further attention to me.
>Set strength to 2, disable emitters, and get the fuck out of engineering, while the lobby music plays.
Up to this point the usual boring traitor stuff, nothing remarkable, nor worth punching your chest.
>Singuloth starts by wiping out atmos, ensuring shuttle, but misses chemistry by a long margin, CE rants very angrily, adding humor to my usual awe of the singularity.
>Since I'm stupid and too curious for my own good, I decide to check the damage.
>massive damage, genetics is out
>Singuloth starts going in my direction, I don't like the look of the tiles moving just by my side.
>I escape just to find my target, alive and well, near arrivals.
>I think of plan to throw some explosive or plasma once he gets in a pod, just when singuloth comes back with a vengeance.
>This time isn't the tiles beside me, I almost slip and get sucked by the wrathful god, but I take heart upon reading:
"target" has collapsed!
>I decide to stop tempting fate, my job is done, so I go in search of a secure pod
>The pod in engineering was untouched, and a friendly borg even bridged the gap
>I prepare to make an evil rant, when a scientist pops in, teleported to the other seat.
>I almost panic, but the guy's friendly and instead of rant we have a very enjoyable chat about our jobs.
>greentext for me and another engineer.

Barely escaping from the singularity is always fun, knowing that half of the station got eaten because I'm a lazy bastard, a reason to keep improving.

420weedscopes · Mon Jan 12, 2015 8:39 pm

Zander Blaine whispers in their final breath, "... jews did 9/11..."
Zander Blaine seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...

dionysus24779 · Sat Jan 17, 2015 6:35 am

> Spawn Assistant, boo
> Get borged
> Be engieborg
> Roll around, be cute and helpful
> While I'm on AI Sat tcomms go down and messages pop up "NUKE OPS!"
> "Oh fuck..."
> Roll back to station through space, kind of expecting to run into a syndieborg AI assassin, but nope...
> Instead braindead nuke op in crit in space in front of Engineering airlocks... well... he's human...
> Drag Nuke Op to medbay, kill a Syndieborg on the way
> In medbay the RD flashes me and they start to kick the OP, human harm!
> Try to save the Op and get him healed but RD and some Botanist kill me over it
> Be pretty salty in deadchat and try to adminhelp and make a draft for a FNR because killing asimov borgs like that is against policy... though no admin replies and my browser crashes (too many tabs...) and whatever...
> Eventually get revived, at least there's that.
> Hang out in escape with all the humans, still a bit salty... just a few minutes till shuttle arrives.
> Suddenly law changes! First hacked law was something like: Captain has to be dead on the solars. Second hacked laws was a simple one-human thing for some Nuke Op.
> Welp... Cap is right next to me... go sec, flash and arrest cap, drag him to solars, many crew follow, but I semi-masterfully use my tazer to leave them behind. Though I take a wrong turn in maint once and get cornered, but I managed to get away.
> Wait on solars with dead cap.
> Nuke Op shows up, we set up Nuke, Op takes me with him to Nuke base.
> There was only this one single Op left and it was still a victory and it was really close time-wise.
(though checking logs it was still registered as a major crew victory despite the nuke going off)

> Much salt in OOC about how one borg managed to turn the entire round upside down.

Started as a horrible round but ended up with a small moment of glory for me.

Wizardjenkins66 · Sat Jan 17, 2015 6:38 am

>Spawn as HOP
>Doing HOP things
>Decide to become a skeleman
>Get an assistant to be my sacrifice
>The gods smile upon me
>Explode into a skeleman
>Go around spooking people
>Death shows up
>Fight death for a while
>Death challenges me to a duel for my soul
>We roll die at each other
>Get a 17
>Death gets a nat 1
>Ask death for a katana sword
>Escape the station as the Dread Pirate, King of the 7 Sectors

dionysus24779 · Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:39 am

> New goon chemistry is in, so why not give it a try
> Spawn Chemist, yay!
> Traitor... urgh... maybe later... it's about getting the blue documents while keeping the red.
> Try new chemistry... fuck is this complicated and overwhelming, I need to make myself flowcharts for this!
> Someone plants a bomb behind chemistry but it gets disposed before it could do any damage.
> Later the Librarian uses C4 to break down the wall and storms in with an esword...
> I don't even move from my place because other chemist and other guy are fighting him already
> Librarian gets killed by his own esword
> While other chemists strips him I'll take the bag and grab the documents
> Greentext, zero effort, good times, 0 TC, get BADASS SYNDIE achievement.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 11:31 am #60131

dionysus24779 wrote:get BADASS SYNDIE achievement.

You need to complete your objective while holding a syndie balloon for this one.

dionysus24779 · Sun Jan 18, 2015 12:20 pm

Ricotez wrote:
dionysus24779 wrote:get BADASS SYNDIE achievement.
You need to complete your objective while holding a syndie balloon for this one.

Good enough for me

Miauw · Post by **Miauw** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 4:57 pm #60177

Ricotez wrote:
dionysus24779 wrote:get BADASS SYNDIE achievement.
You need to complete your objective while holding a syndie balloon for this one.

no, you have to not use any TC.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Sun Jan 18, 2015 6:05 pm #60194

Miauw wrote:
Ricotez wrote:
dionysus24779 wrote:get BADASS SYNDIE achievement.
You need to complete your objective while holding a syndie balloon for this one.
no, you have to not use any TC.

It might be an achievement in code, but it's not an achievement in spirit.

iRazgriz · Post by **iRazgriz** » Tue Jan 20, 2015 11:19 am #60746

>Put every job but heads and assistant on mid preference, put cyborg on high.
>Be R.A.Z. the AI. Well then.
>You are also MALF and you have a cyborg.
>Random thought of going full ass blast on the station, quickly discarded.
>Tell borg to go engi and act asimov
>He's an absolute bro
>Start hacking APCs around, "accidentally" set the plasma leak in engineering on fire and pass the blame to an electric storm. Engis fall for it.
>Be helpful AI, borg wires solars with an engineer, hack more APCs.
>Down to 600 seconds on the counter, nobody even suspects a thing.
>New borg arrives, never says a word and after a while he attacks someone.
>Prepare to FNR and blow the borg, nobody really questions me when I said that I had no idea on what happened.
>More hacking, 400 seconds, running out of hidden APCs.
>Help crew with some stuff, engi borg builds doors in core.
>Another borg connects, doesn't say a word, goes janiborg and just ignore me. Prepare another FNR.
>Start hacking obvious APCs like Captain office, Toxins, Atmos, Misc Research, QM office, Armory.
>Reach 200 seconds with door bolting, blowing lights and cutting door lights, as well as hacking maint APCs, go delta, override machines and flood plasma.
>Crew cannot possibly win.
>Engibrog defends my core from 2 intruders.
>Time is out.
>DIdn't blow the station because for once the crew was cool and not a fucking clusterfuck of idiots.
>OOC: Vekter: fuckin' raz putting on a clinic

FredNodoor · Post by **FredNodoor** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 1:45 pm #61195

Its been way too long since i last played here, so i will share a story from another server (ran off of /tg/ code, only 20 people on if i remember)

>Be detective
>Allowed to use lethal rounds when i asked the HoS politely
>Get called out by the traitor
>"DUEL AT SUNDOWN!"
>Oh lordy
>Sundown is here
>Decide to have a trick up my sleeve
>Take the nade he dropped by accident and stuff it in my pocket (he forgot to pull the pin)
>Go 5 spaces between eachother
>READY
>SET
>DRAW
>He throws a nade and i do as well at our feet
>We shoot eachother at the same time
>We get knocked down and gibbed at the same time

it was a fun one

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 2:45 pm #61214

Why didn't you catch the nade and toss it back?

Oh, wait. Right. Grenadiering 101, never toss AT your target, but in front of them.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Jan 22, 2015 8:39 am #61523

> Late night badger
> Pretty slow
> Detective
> Some stuff happens with a tator chemist, i get tased and dunked
>ded for a while, tator gets executed
>Sticky says he wants to go to bed and is gonna end the round fast
>ohboyherewego.jpg
>deadchat screaming for blebs
>blebs everywhere
>5-6 blobs are spawned in arrivals
>My first time playing blob
>Lowish pop, we kill a few people and spread all around the station
> I learn the ropes, spread myself to escape
> BSA blows the station into pieces, blobs scattered
> All alone now, shore up my defenses and repel a few humans
>Shuttle arrives, move my core on to it
>Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone begins to play
>Spread to the shuttle cockpit
>blobgun.mp4
>Channel my inner Tom Cruise as i dodge Centcomm fighters and pilot the shuttle to my target
>Other blobs got their cores out on escape pods
>Shuttle docks
>My blobbernaught and meager defences get utterly wiped by deathsquid at centcomm
>Die in a blaze of glory

Lowpop rounds are fun when admins are around to spice it up

TrustyGun · Post by **TrustyGun** » Thu Jan 22, 2015 11:17 pm #61739

>mime, as always
>wonder what crazy thing i should do today.
>i should set up shop
>mfw some other guy just set up a shop after i forced the HoP to announce mine.
>motherfuckerwanttogo.jpeg
>name's dave
>daves are always assholes
>just do shop things
>hears something over from the intercomm
>"dave is dead guise"
>moral?
>mimes always win

Cipher3 · Post by **Cipher3** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 2:58 am #61792

TrustyGun wrote:>mime, as always
>wonder what crazy thing i should do today.
>i should set up shop
>mfw some other guy just set up a shop after i forced the HoP to announce mine.
>motherfuckerwanttogo.jpeg
>name's dave
>daves are always assholes
>just do shop things
>hears something over from the intercomm
>"dave is dead guise"
>moral?
>mimes always win

>Dave

TrustyGun wrote:>daves are always assholes

Idk if this was part of DAVE on Basil but it's still a keeper. Remember the quote, guys.

bandit · Post by **bandit** » Fri Jan 23, 2015 5:45 pm #62005

The BlueJesus round.

Miauw · Post by **Miauw** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 7:25 pm #62361

>lowpop traitor AI round on basil
>AI has engieborg, everybody is dying
>lizard takes ion rifle from armory
>no firing pin
>only two people left, both on the shuttle, including lizard
>heres_borgie.jpg
>borg runs away at sight of ion rifle
>comes back
>"I know you have no pin"
>lizard pulls out energy gun and fires lasers at the borg

ayy lmao

Snakebutt · Post by **Snakebutt** » Sat Jan 24, 2015 7:38 pm #62374

My first and only ling round was pretty amazing.

>late as fuck on badger, like 8 players total
>roundstart engineer, get ling
>ohfuckohfuck, quick, check wiki
>Oh hey, I have hive chat!
>;b hello?
>Find out I have glorious comrade
>admin starts some kind of event, tells us to stock up away shuttle with stuff
>I build a few things, slowly reading the wiki and selecting a few powers
>Lingbro has to kill the captain, alerts me to get out of the shuttle
>they set off a poly grenade, fail to kill cap and their bag of ianmeat goes missing
>drag a corpse off, unsure if it is bro or bystandard to eat
>Get caught in maint by captain dragging a husk
>ohshitohshit
>"what are you doing with the ling's body?"
>"Going to gib it sir"
>"Nah, let's brain it."
>"Kay. Can I have science access to borg it?"
>Get science access. Full science access, obj was reactive armor
>Handed lingbro's body, brain it
>chat with brain, try to figure out how to bring them back
>Someone found their bag, retrieve it from holodeck.
>ohshit, shuttle got called
>Rush to human a monkey
>brain monkey
>put lingbro's brain in monkey
>Drag to cloning, 4 mins left
>no one questions this unknown corpse, it gets cloned by the only doctor
>Popped out just in time to catch shuttle, left their bag of meat in genetics
>We both still have our kill objectives
>"20 seconds to arrival, pop blade and attack"
>Last second win
>carried bro on my back as a complete noob
>only reason I didn't greentext was I never got to eat anyone

Doctor · Post by **Doctor** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 1:50 am #62528

Snakebutt wrote:My first and only ling round was pretty amazing.

>late as fuck on badger, like 8 players total
>roundstart engineer, get ling
>ohfuckohfuck, quick, check wiki
>Oh hey, I have hive chat!
>;b hello?
>Find out I have glorious comrade
>admin starts some kind of event, tells us to stock up away shuttle with stuff
>I build a few things, slowly reading the wiki and selecting a few powers
>Lingbro has to kill the captain, alerts me to get out of the shuttle
>they set off a poly grenade, fail to kill cap and their bag of ianmeat goes missing
>drag a corpse off, unsure if it is bro or bystandard to eat
>Get caught in maint by captain dragging a husk
>ohshitohshit
>"what are you doing with the ling's body?"
>"Going to gib it sir"
>"Nah, let's brain it."
>"Kay. Can I have science access to borg it?"
>Get science access. Full science access, obj was reactive armor
>Handed lingbro's body, brain it
>chat with brain, try to figure out how to bring them back
>Someone found their bag, retrieve it from holodeck.
>ohshit, shuttle got called
>Rush to human a monkey
>brain monkey
>put lingbro's brain in monkey
>Drag to cloning, 4 mins left
>no one questions this unknown corpse, it gets cloned by the only doctor
>Popped out just in time to catch shuttle, left their bag of meat in genetics
>We both still have our kill objectives
>"20 seconds to arrival, pop blade and attack"
>Last second win
>carried bro on my back as a complete noob
>only reason I didn't greentext was I never got to eat anyone

ayy i was lingbuddy. i'm pretty much in love with you after that round, you're the best. i fucked up hilariously badly and you completely pulled us back. well done.

dionysus24779 · Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:32 am

It's actually more of a half-awesome half-frustrating...

> Spawn Assistant
> Get borged
> Be Secborg since absolutely no security at all and there's already an engie- and minerborg
> Nuke Ops attack!
> Have awesome round, manage to capture 4 out of 5 Nuke Ops and get the Syndieborg
> Had fun

> As predicted it causes a VERY long discussion in OOC about "Secborg too OP, pls remove" and how flawed asimov is and how 99% of secborg players are literally hitler... (Hope this won't spawn a discussion about that here too...)

Miauw · Post by **Miauw** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:47 pm #62661

dionysus24779 wrote:It's actually more of a half-awesome half-frustrating...

> Spawn Assistant
> Get borged
> Be Secborg since absolutely no security at all and there's already an engie- and minerborg
> Nuke Ops attack!
> Have awesome round, manage to capture 4 out of 5 Nuke Ops and get the Syndieborg
> Had fun

> As predicted it causes a VERY long discussion in OOC about "Secborg too OP, pls remove" and how flawed asimov is and how 99% of secborg players are literally hitler... (Hope this won't spawn a discussion about that here too...)

lol asimov is great if the person playing the borg isn't an asshole.

secborg a shit tho

Post by **Vekter** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:47 pm #62662

DemonFiren wrote:Woulda been hilarious if he managed.

That nuke doesn't spawn with a code. The genius could have tried every number and not gotten it.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:15 pm #62672

Different from the nuke I'm used to, then.

Which was the one on Bay before someone decided to turn it into a literal plastic toy.

ErikHanson · Post by **ErikHanson** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 2:51 pm #62677

> Antag
> Gotta escape alone...
> Pray for shuttle smash into bridge
> 40TC...
> Ask fellow antag for his PDA
> Get two beacons near HoP office
> Pray admins
> Shuttle called
> Shuttle arrives at original location ... WAT?!?!
> Shuttle departs, and does not arrive at centcom, but at the HoP Office.

Coik · Post by **Coik** » Sun Jan 25, 2015 3:37 pm #62683

dionysus24779 wrote:> Spawn Assistant
> Get borged
> Be Secborg since absolutely no security at all and there's already an engie- and minerborg
> Nuke Ops attack!
> Have awesome round, manage to capture 4 out of 5 Nuke Ops and get the Syndieborg
> Had fun

I was the Engiborg that round. One of my favorite parts of the entire round was when we were chain-flashing the Syndiborg outside the bridge while crew members beat on it.

Cik · Post by **Cik** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:03 am #62818

dionysus24779 wrote:It's actually more of a half-awesome half-frustrating...

> Spawn Assistant
> Get borged
> Be Secborg since absolutely no security at all and there's already an engie- and minerborg
> Nuke Ops attack!
> Have awesome round, manage to capture 4 out of 5 Nuke Ops and get the Syndieborg
> Had fun

> As predicted it causes a VERY long discussion in OOC about "Secborg too OP, pls remove" and how flawed asimov is and how 99% of secborg players are literally hitler... (Hope this won't spawn a discussion about that here too...)

but if you stun the ops they will later be beaten to death maybe that means that you are violating asimov by stunning the nukeops that are currently machinegunning medbay !!!!!

peoplearestrange · Mon Jan 26, 2015 10:51 am

Cik wrote:
dionysus24779 wrote:It's actually more of a half-awesome half-frustrating...

> Spawn Assistant
> Get borged
> Be Secborg since absolutely no security at all and there's already an engie- and minerborg
> Nuke Ops attack!
> Have awesome round, manage to capture 4 out of 5 Nuke Ops and get the Syndieborg
> Had fun

> As predicted it causes a VERY long discussion in OOC about "Secborg too OP, pls remove" and how flawed asimov is and how 99% of secborg players are literally hitler... (Hope this won't spawn a discussion about that here too...)
but if you stun the ops they will later be beaten to death maybe that means that you are violating asimov by stunning the nukeops that are currently machinegunning medbay !!!!!

That has to be the stupidest logic chain i've ever heard... well done.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:11 am #62993

peoplearestrange wrote:
Cik wrote:
dionysus24779 wrote:It's actually more of a half-awesome half-frustrating...

> Spawn Assistant
> Get borged
> Be Secborg since absolutely no security at all and there's already an engie- and minerborg
> Nuke Ops attack!
> Have awesome round, manage to capture 4 out of 5 Nuke Ops and get the Syndieborg
> Had fun

> As predicted it causes a VERY long discussion in OOC about "Secborg too OP, pls remove" and how flawed asimov is and how 99% of secborg players are literally hitler... (Hope this won't spawn a discussion about that here too...)
but if you stun the ops they will later be beaten to death maybe that means that you are violating asimov by stunning the nukeops that are currently machinegunning medbay !!!!!
That has to be the stupidest logic chain i've ever heard... well done.

Par for the course when you're playing a silicon. People are always trying to win battles of wits with terrible logic so you'll let them raid EVA or something.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 5:29 pm #63087

Wait, isnt letting any greyshit into EVA par for the course with asimov? There is not really anything harmful in there, so you really have no grounds to refuse them entry under basic asimov lawset

Vigilare · Post by **Vigilare** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 5:38 pm #63090

RCD can be used to deconstruct floors, which is harmful
It doesn't hurt to bolt them in and depower the APC, alerting Sec - by the time they've got their objective, noticed and told you to unbolt, Sec will get there and boom, it's taser time.

'course, if they tell you not to alert Sec or bolt them in...

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:25 pm #63121

Then you have a (flimsy) reason to deny the order, since specifically requesting not to alert the security force means the person in question will do something the security force will disapprove of, which is likely harmful.

Cheimon · Post by **Cheimon** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:48 pm #63135

If someone wants access to EVA you ought to grant it (unless you believe they somehow intend harm: maybe if they're covered in blood and carrying weapons or whatever you should doublecheck their intentions).

Of course, there's nothing stopping you from informing security you're granting them this access.

Snakebutt · Post by **Snakebutt** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:29 pm #63145

I prefer to ask for their reasoning to open EVA for them. If I just let 'Law 2', they can fuck off. If they tell me they want to set up the solars or do some construction, or need metal, or there's a massive breach, I open the doors for them. Don't even care if they lied, they at least tried.

This may be because I hate baseless 'law 2' orders. You can trigger law 2 without telling the silicon their directives.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 8:18 pm #63161

The point is that, as an Assistant, you have absolutely no business in EVA. It's not in your default access, you do not have permission to be in there and you're not on the station to perform extravehicular activity.

Asking the AI to let you in as a low position is just bad RP in my opinion, people shouldn't ask the AI to let them into EVA unless they really have a damn good reason to obtain the equipment in there.

I usually solve the problem by letting them in, then closing the doors behind them and warning Security about a trespasser in EVA. If nobody cares, I don't care either and I let them out again.

Post by **lumipharon** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 8:37 pm #63167

It's literally silicon policy, you MUST let people into eva, unless there is a direct law 1 reason why you shouldn't (trying to murder someone in eva, for example). Space law and for that matter your opinion on that matter is irrelevent. While by all means notify the crew what you're doing, if you refuse to let people in for no reason, you'll get yourself silicon banned.

https://tgstation13.org/wiki/Silicon_po ... con_Policy
>EVA and the like are not permitted to have access denied; greentext (antagonists completing objectives) is not human harm. Secure Tech Storage can be kept as secure as your upload as long as the Upload boards are there.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Mon Jan 26, 2015 8:56 pm #63176

Wow, I thought I had a good understanding of our AI policy, but I missed that part. Alright then, I'll no longer make a big deal out of it.

peoplearestrange · Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:06 pm

Ok keep it to stories, we have a whole section of inane banter over policy discussion peeps.

capi duffman · Post by **capi duffman** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 9:44 am #63374

>Chef
>Go on about my bussiness, finding out clonex isn't an option anymore
>After a while people start screaming about blob
>Holy shit, I don't wanna get eaten by any xeno, no sir.
>Listening to radio I go to virology, the captain is already fighting it.
>The blob somehow ignores me, and the only reason I need healing is because pressure messes me up over time, or some lucky blob monster manages to injure me.
>Still, I manage to kill a good number of beasties before giving up and go to medbay.
>Medbay is pure chaos, at this rate blob will win, get healed, go back for more.
>The blob manages to trap me, just when I'm running out of air.
>The captain rushes in and saves my sorry hide.
>The captain keeps kicking ass and taking names, that dude is all over the blob.
>Thanks to him we retake the south of medbay, I go dualwielding knife and welding tool and actually feel useful for a change.
>Cap finally finds the core at atmos and puts an end to the monster.

This is the kind of captain that we deserse, this dude saved the entire station.
Also, the kitchen knife is the only correct answer to xeno and monster alike.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Tue Jan 27, 2015 11:41 am #63391

The cleaver is, actually.

capi duffman · Wed Jan 28, 2015 12:16 am

Forgot to grab it, dualwielding a cleaver and a knife I'd take on a Blobbernaught as if it was Pete.

callanrockslol · Thu Jan 29, 2015 8:53 am

> Traitorling chemist
> aw yeah, traitorling
> steal shit, absorb things, kill 2 people
> become CE, easy objective complete
> start stealing genomes
> absorb a few corpses I find in medbay
> fuck around a bit in space because AI rogue as fuck, try to reset it with boards I find on solars
> oh shit I have targets the shuttle is coming
> guy drags one past me, already dead
> other one tries to heal him
> power dies, I hide the corpse
> try to get a revolver but end up misfiring and dropping all the ammo
> blame it on my other target
> moonwalk on to teh burning shuttle as my miscloned target burns
> other guy gets spaced trying to get on in a fight with sec
> someone tries to syndicate bomb me on shuttle, fleshmend out of it
> mission complete, freedom wins

Traitorling is silly, you show up and it all goes your way.

Hibbles · Post by **Hibbles** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 5:23 pm #64156

I've grown a fondness for the turbine and the transit tubes, so one bleak early morning on Badger with literally six people on total, I decide to play a round. The game selects me for the round's traitor, but I pay very little mind to that, and go about trying to start the turbine (which was broken, is that a Badger thing?) and lay tubes. I get the Escape-to-Mid line done and am halfway through the central hallway loop line when I hear SINGULO LOOSE. All that work, half an hour of effort, up in smoke. gg.

Spoiler:

A bluespace translocation fuck event thing even landed me my slime core despite being Atmos, it was basically effortless and nobody noticed. So I had my objective all packed up and ready to go, and had spent 0 TCs and done nothing hostile or antagonistic at all. So I stand with two other people, waiting at Escape like it's a bus stop. At this point I'm sure the round is effectively over, so I alt-tab to do other stuff.

My attention is drawn back when I hear the loud noises of somebody being beaten to death, and when I look around, I see the Captain being cut apart by the Miner, who has an armblade! I'm unarmed and there's little I can do but shove the ling over and limp away, hurt but still alive. Having Escape, and a dead Captain, all to themselves, the monster doesn't even bother to give chase.

So I duck into the Medbay lobby, heart actually pounding IRL as I wonder if he'll round the corner to finish the job as I scroll up chat to remember my code. The only thing that can save me, that I can reach, is my uplink. After just a moment's thought, I buy the revolver, an emag... and with my final point, a bar of soap. All three of which end up coming in dead handy since the AI was killed by the singulo already.

So I bust into Medbay with the emag, get to a medkit, and patch myself back up. Then, I'm headed straight back to Escape on a mission. I toss the soap, it lands next to the ling... who then steps on it and falls over. Aiming carefully, I unload all 7 .357 rounds directly into his face. Normally it's incinerator time but the round's almost over, so I mass driver the ling for style points, drag the Captain's body onto the shuttle, and look around to see myself completely alone. It was a weird feeling, standing on the shuttle like that.

My only regret was emagging it when I was sure nobody else was alive; one person was, and he got stranded. Otherwise, it's Myriam the lazy traitor saving the day with a very dramatic clutch move and avenging the fallen Captain. And doubtless telling a similar story to CentCom, minus the traitor-y bits.

First time I've felt robust in a very long time, even if only in some small way. And that ending was way more exciting than a lowpop round had any business being.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 9:02 pm #64217

A big part of robustness is disabling your opponent.

capi duffman · Thu Jan 29, 2015 10:59 pm

>AI, loyal
>We were warned about event by bluespace, so I was expecting crazy shit from the get go.
>Suddenly hacked APCs, people already think I'm evil.
>Something kills my poor borgs before they can check tcomms, already sabotaged.
>Lord singuloth almost escapes, someone set the PA to 2.
>There is not one wizard, but many, and they're assraping the whole station.
>In one of those chances, I get subverted to antimov.
ohboyherewegoagain.jpg
>The singularity I prevented from getting out? I ensure it gets out.
>I start messing with toxins, but I get bored fast, and it's useless, singuloth will make it faster and deadlier.
>All the borgs but one, loyal to ASIMOV, die at some point, the station goes silent VERY fast.
>I call the shuttle, since there is little point to such a devastated station.
>One remaining wizard robusts all survivor at ease.
>floor gets turned to lava, around that point, some syndieborgs die as well
>Finally, lord Singuloth ensures I comply to law 3.

Almost half of the station destroyed, uncanny damage everywhere, the evacuation rate was of ONE wizard... who didn't got greentext, because getting shit done is boring.

10/10, would hail Singuloth as lord and master again.

Kavaloosh · Post by **Kavaloosh** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:23 pm #64259

dumb polish bitch

Cipher3 · Post by **Cipher3** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 12:36 am #64280

Violaceus wrote:
capi duffman wrote:>AI, loyal
>We were warned about event by bluespace, so I was expecting crazy shit from the get go.
>Suddenly hacked APCs, people already think I'm evil.
>Something kills my poor borgs before they can check tcomms, already sabotaged.
>Lord singuloth almost escapes, someone set the PA to 2.
>There is not one wizard, but many, and they're assraping the whole station.
>In one of those chances, I get subverted to antimov.
ohboyherewegoagain.jpg
>The singularity I prevented from getting out? I ensure it gets out.
>I start messing with toxins, but I get bored fast, and it's useless, singuloth will make it faster and deadlier.
>All the borgs but one, loyal to ASIMOV, die at some point, the station goes silent VERY fast.
>I call the shuttle, since there is little point to such a devastated station.
>One remaining wizard robusts all survivor at ease.
>floor gets turned to lava, around that point, some syndieborgs die as well
>Finally, lord Singuloth ensures I comply to law 3.

Almost half of the station destroyed, uncanny damage everywhere, the evacuation rate was of ONE wizard... who didn't got greentext, because getting shit done is boring.

10/10, would hail Singuloth as lord and master again.
Breaking AI Laws: The Story

I'm pretty sure you missed the 'Antimov' part and/or the meaning thereof.

Cipher3 · Post by **Cipher3** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 2:44 am #64319

Because gathering everybody in one place can't lead to helping you massacre at all. Note that the only person to actually get away was a single wizard. As in the station-wiping abilities tier antagonist which could easily have been impossible to stop getting away save delaying the round indefinitely.

Really, the round was clearly over at that point in the story. You want an AI to shut down all methods of round end until it is the last living being on-station, while the rest of the players sit in dead chat?

Valiantttt · Post by **Valiantttt** » Fri Jan 30, 2015 3:32 pm #64416

I was the wizard who got away, I basically toke over medbay with animation staff. Nobody could get cloned and the syndicate borgs probably got eaten by the many many items. I didn't get to steal hypospray(missed magic missile and disintregate on CMO) but I had fun. I animated almost all the chairs on the shuttle though.