Confession thread. Confess your SS13 sins.

[cacogen]

Bottom post of the previous page:

It would probably be pretty awkward having to confess you slept with your neighbours' wives in front of the whole village and for them to have their cuckoldry revealed in front of everyone

Then don't sleep with your neighbor's wives... Duh.

But why? They're hot, he's ugly, in this scenario you're attractive, they want to fuck you. Why not? Life is too short not to engage in simple pleasures repeatedly forever. And if he can't handle being a cuck he can always kill you and stone them. Or whatever.

Been here for about 5-6 years now and I still have no idea how Toxins bombs are made

There's so many mechanics I knew at one point but never relearned because I can't be fucked reading an inevitably outdated and incomplete wiki article that's only an introduction to the mechanics while the actual meta is safeguarded by a clique of insiders who want to keep it to themselves. I just want somebody to teach me how to be good at it immediately. Which never happens, at least not to me.

[Misdoubtful]

Thinking about how to optimally do things in this space man game.

Really I am just here for the funnies. Shame on me!

[sinfulbliss]

[
But why? They're hot, he's ugly, in this scenario you're attractive, they want to fuck you. Why not? Life is too short not to engage in simple pleasures repeatedly forever. And if he can't handle being a cuck he can always kill you and stone them. Or whatever.

By that logic if you have a wife, and she's hot, and you're ugly, your moral system supports me fucking her without your knowledge... If you can't handle being a cuck you can always kill me and stone us.
But our society agreed that it would suck for that to be okay, cause then people can just fuck each others' wives... So we agreed that it would be wrong to do that, and you shouldn't do it. That way if someone does it we can be like, "no that's wrong! punishment!" and discourage it.

[cacogen]

Exactly. Makes perfect sense. To me, at least.

[IcePacks]

i have played this game longer than my key has existed

[Timonk]

i released the singulo on accident without being bwoinked when i was new

[Mothblocks]

i have played this game longer than my key has existed

oh this reminds me of something funny. my first byond account was made 2009, presumably for ss13
i was born in 2002

[nianjiilical]

back when bluespace bodybags could hold megafauna i took three of them to the station and let them out in evac holding a stablized pink slime core

i did not know that the core only made them pacifistic to me

shaps told me he wouldnt ban me if i wrote lavaland lore for him and i did and i didnt get banned or noted

[Bytube]

i was born in 2002

am I for real older than you Mothblocks lmao

[Rohen_Tahir]

Exactly. Makes perfect sense. To me, at least.

Cuckogen

Ontopic:
I read the code to get info about game mechanics sometimes.

[sinfulbliss]

i have played this game longer than my key has existed

Literally 2006.
How’s that possible

[Swept]

I have murdered several children and buried them at undisclosed locations.

[cacogen]

Exactly. Makes perfect sense. To me, at least.

Cuckogen

Ontopic:
I read the code to get info about game mechanics sometimes.

I used to play on Hippie and two players there dubbed me this separately. It's an interesting litmus test of having cunt brain vs. soy brain. It's a spectrum, and it's possibly not the only one you're on. At one end you have people with double-digit IQs who are pathologically insecure and think of bullying as a way of life. It's the only thing they have to satisfy their egos. At the other end, you have weak fat men with gross beards and thickframed glasses who think performative feminism is going to make up for the fact that women find them repulsive. For them, virtue signalling is key to their ego stroke. Hippie was all MAGA retards, backward ESLs and underaged red state high schoolers. Deplorables who should probably be sterilised (she won, bigot). A big part of what drove them was spite, hate and crippling inadequacy. For them humour is an ugly thing derived entirely from the suffering of somebody else. What's my point here? As usual, I have no idea. But my point is that this nickname is the first thing the red state retard mind jumps to, believing he is the first person to think of it. If I didn't already have a decent read on you, you would have revealed yourself.

[Rageguy505]

are you ok?

[cacogen]

That was a good post actually. Sorry if it offended you

[Rohen_Tahir]

Exactly. Makes perfect sense. To me, at least.

Cuckogen

Ontopic:
I read the code to get info about game mechanics sometimes.

I used to play on Hippie and two players there dubbed me this separately. It's an interesting litmus test of having cunt brain vs. soy brain. It's a spectrum, and it's possibly not the only one you're on. At one end you have people with double-digit IQs who are pathologically insecure and think of bullying as a way of life. It's the only thing they have to satisfy their egos. At the other end, you have weak fat men with gross beards and thickframed glasses who think performative feminism is going to make up for the fact that women find them repulsive. For them, virtue signalling is key to their ego stroke. Hippie was all MAGA retards, backward ESLs and underaged red state high schoolers. Deplorables who should probably be sterilised (she won, bigot). A big part of what drove them was spite, hate and crippling inadequacy. For them humour is an ugly thing derived entirely from the suffering of somebody else. What's my point here? As usual, I have no idea. But my point is that this nickname is the first thing the red state retard mind jumps to, believing he is the first person to think of it. If I didn't already have a decent read on you, you would have revealed yourself.

It's an extremely obvious pun, I'm not American, I live in an urban area, I took an IQ test only once in my life and it gave me a triple-digit score, I don't know how you made all those weird inferences but you're wrong.

Edit: Further details: this test was conducted by an actual doctor during an actual appointment, and I was not on any stimulants at the time of the test.

[Time-Green]

I found and abused an href exploit on PDA's to teleport peoples ID's from their PDA into my hands. PDAs as a whole were extremely easy to break. I ran a whole gimmick as a mime named Mimedentity Theft where I used this exploit to grab IDs from peoples inventory and then gift wrapped them. If people opened the gift I gave to them, they'd be really confused and assume they just dropped it somewhere. Eventually I got cocky and did it four times on the same person, at which point an admin took notice. They wouldn't ban me if I agreed to fix it, which I did. I never actually fixed the PDA code being broken so that I could still use exploits to do a 'Send All' on someone elses PDA if they annoyed me

There's also a significant amount of 'unexplained' bug reports on the yogstation github that were just me (not linking the issue but PDA's generating infinite bacon is one of them)

There was even an href exploit (on /tg/ aswell) that could be used to ban someone. I never actually used it for that because it went a bit too far, but it would be very easy

There's a bunch of more pretty sany exploits, but most of them were fixed when stuff was ported to the new tgui system (I never really bothered how to abuse the new tgui sytem(s) because they give me a headache and I've had enough fun)

[Polish_User]

I've made a forum account on tgstation13.org. That's my greatest ss13 sin.

[Timonk]

who are you

[Not-Dorsidarf]

I found and abused an href exploit on PDA's to teleport peoples ID's from their PDA into my hands. PDAs as a whole were extremely easy to break. I ran a whole gimmick as a mime named Mimedentity Theft where I used this exploit to grab IDs from peoples inventory and then gift wrapped them. If people opened the gift I gave to them, they'd be really confused and assume they just dropped it somewhere. Eventually I got cocky and did it four times on the same person, at which point an admin took notice. They wouldn't ban me if I agreed to fix it, which I did. I never actually fixed the PDA code being broken so that I could still use exploits to do a 'Send All' on someone elses PDA if they annoyed me

There's also a significant amount of 'unexplained' bug reports on the yogstation github that were just me (not linking the issue but PDA's generating infinite bacon is one of them)

There was even an href exploit (on /tg/ aswell) that could be used to ban someone. I never actually used it for that because it went a bit too far, but it would be very easy

There's a bunch of more pretty sany exploits, but most of them were fixed when stuff was ported to the new tgui system (I never really bothered how to abuse the new tgui sytem(s) because they give me a headache and I've had enough fun)

damnnn hell of a confession.

Also best mime gimmick

[Timonk]

Admit it dorsi

[Omega_DarkPotato]

The radioactive microlaser is a device that, after a delay, dependent on intensity (strength of knockout) and wavelength (additional wait time pre-knockout), will make whoever it's used on unconscious. For a 3tc item, this can give a fairly robust 15 second unconscious on a 10 second recharge time. I enjoy it more than the 4tc sleepypen, even though that can be loaded with some seriously insane mixes with its 45u, instant injection capacity.

However, it used to be bugged - it would, instead of applying a knockout calculated on the settings on use, apply a knockout calculated on the settings it was currently tuned to. Normally, to knock someone out for the full 15 seconds, the delay that's calculated based on a maxed 20 intensity is actually longer than the entire knockout itself. You have to be near your target for quite a while to make use of this, and it's the biggest downfall of the device - you have to ensure that you won't be seen as weird near your target, and you have to hope that nobody else will be around after 30 seconds to see you start dragging them away into maint.

Of course, the bug made it so that you could have intensity 1, wavelength 0, for a delay of about 2 seconds. During those two seconds, you would crank the intensity all the way up to 20, and it would apply the full unconsciousness duration after a 2 second delay. (It also recharged in one second, as the recharge time is intensity/2, min 1)

In case you're not aware, 15 seconds is more than enough to put amputation shears around the head of your target, and fucking decapitate them. Amputation shears are sharp, and once you take the head clean off your target, you can use the shears on the head to cut the brain out. Brains are small items, and can fit in boxes, while heads are a lot harder to stuff away (they're bulky, can't fit in a backpack)


I exploited this bug in two or three different rounds before finally reporting it with athath a week later in order to get some very funny results. Cham kit, agent id, radioactive microlaser, 1tc cash kit for the ampu shears, and a syndie encryption key is a grand total of 10tc, and that let me kill way too many people in a way that's basically invisible to them until they pop out in deadchat after seeing that Ewe Kant, security officer (cham kit go brr) has apparently taken their head off.
Heard comms chatter about something "tearing heads off bodies" "roaming the halls" after a paramedic's body was found near evac, headless. Comms got a lot MORE heated once captain's body was found headless in aux tool storage.


(the paramedic deserved it, he shoved me like 5 times and then complained about his life so I really just helped him on the life issue)

[PervertChimp]

I have murdered several children and buried them at undisclosed locations.

In SS13, right???

[Timonk]

I'm a farweb virgin

[IcePacks]

One time as borg, bryce pax as hos blew me up for trying to stop him from executing a human prisoner so the next round, when they were captain and i was ai, i aggressively made them prove to me a changeling was a non-human before i would allow them to turn it into ashes, despite having seen the changeling do changeling shit earlier in the round.

i cannot remember this but i do remember the sensation of being annoyed at a jackass robot digging its heels

[Super Aggro Crag]

i have played this game longer than my key has existed

same

[Timonk]

My first round of ss13 was on goon (i died to invincible maint monkey as captain while screaming incoherent shit about killing it)

[Jonathan Gupta]

I remember the first ss13 round. I get on I die immediately due to the shuttle losing o2(explosion arrivals)


In my second round, I'm bumbling around like an idiot learning, and then I find it, the almighty. Toolbox(this didn't happen I played yogstation and stole someones mech and got banned for greytiding(I didn't know what the fuck was going on(Foreign language trait(Japenese)

[EuSouAFazenda]

[Pandarsenic]

When I'm getting turned into a cyborg in high-pop, I sometimes pop out of my brain for a moment to check if there is a wizard, and if there is I strongly consider pretending I need to make food IRL to avoid being a cyborg in a wizard round.

[datorangebottle]

When I'm getting turned into a cyborg in high-pop, I sometimes pop out of my brain for a moment to check if there is a wizard, and if there is I strongly consider pretending I need to make food IRL to avoid being a cyborg in a wizard round.

I commit die whenever I am against nukies because I absolutely hate fighting them; 9/10 times i die helplessly and 1/10 times i don't see a nukie the entire round. I also commit die if i get infected by a zombie or xeno, if possible and surgery isn't available. Box/oxytank suicide OP.

[cacogen]

if you get a bulletproof vest, helmet and riot shield and they shoot you it's like having another life

[saprasam]

i used an exploit that let you throw bodies while not having them grabbed & used it to go on a massacre

i also used a heretic exploit that let me get every heretic spell with no cost letting me instantly win the game

[Agux909]

The first time I bought a shuttle as acting captain (HoP), was on Manuel, and it was Disco Inferno. I had simply never paid close attention to shuttle names and thought it was simply a reference to the song (which it is), and not a literal inferno (which it also is). Didn't even make the connection at the time.

Everyone on the station yelled and swore at me as if I was a shitter, but it wasn't until someone pointed out later: "You know why it's called Disco Inferno right...?" that it dawned on me how I had condemned the crew to burn alive while escaping (which it did).

I wasn't lynched but felt extremely guilty of my naive ignorance at the time. I pranked myself.

[Itseasytosee2me]

I posted a ban for setting off the disco inferno on Reddit.
I am still haunted by my actions
EDIT: The posting it on Reddit part. I don't regret setting it off in the first place

[Timonk]

I posted a ban for setting off the disco inferno on Reddit.
I am still haunted by my actions
EDIT: The posting it on Reddit part. I don't regret setting it off in the first place

Have you ever gotten banned from the tg discord for posting something on Reddit? I have


When i was new Owen Kimple emaged me as cyborg, then changed identity, after which i proceed to kill him and space his head because I didn't know it was him. Needless to say i got bwoinked

[oranges]

i actually like this game.

[Jonathan Gupta]

cause deez nuts

get real

cause deez nuts

get real

cause deez nuts

get real

cause deez nuts

get real

cause deez nuts

get real

cause deez nuts.

[Notgonnabreaktherule]

some shitter tried stealing my stuff while i was lagging one time so i shot him into crit with a 357, took him to medbay afterwards