Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Whoisthere · Post by **Whoisthere** » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:40 pm #360421

Bottom post of the previous page:

Station went to shit due to singulo and murderboners, meanwhile there I was sitting in the cozy, pressurized, safe, airlocked library with 3-4 more people, drinking vodka from the hacked boozeomat and reading smut.
It was good while it lasted.

Xhuis · Post by **Xhuis** » Sat Nov 25, 2017 7:32 am #360701

>Sybil
>An Yung, medical doctor
>Gear up including using the SECRET OXYGEN TECHNIQUE to pressurize my emergency o2 tank to 2500 kPa pure, room-temperature oxygen
>Ditch my backpack for a defib; I have a medical belt with a medkit's contents, and my pockets have a charcoal pill bottle and crew monitor
>From the word go an assistant named Polina breaks into medbay shamelessly and tries to steal supplies
>I try to take things easy and they beat me up and steal the supplies anyway
>Report her to security but I'm gonna get revenge
>Get a syringe gun and put some morphine in it
>Walk outside medbay and see Polina standing completely still
>Ready for REVENGE, you motherfu-
>"Polina is biting her tongue off! It looks like she's trying to commit suicide.""
>Oh okay
>Hook her up to two IVs and start draining her blood, telling about it over comms since some other people were ticked at her
>AI starts freaking out until I explain they killed themselves
>Drain them to 40% blood before the bags fill them put them in the morgue in a body bag tagged "Generous Blood Donor! :)"
>A few minutes later, the RD comes in dead having failed to make a bomb
>Mental interface failure
>Morgue them with all their things
>Round moves along smoothly
>Get a night vision medical HUD from the department protolathe in Medbay
>Some shouting over the radio about how security executed someone, and the HoS heads into the upload
>Nobody seems to notice (me included until later) but the HoS has vanished and never came out of the upload
>Browse the suit sensors looking for people to rescue and see the HoS is dead in the upload
>Call out the AI over comms and they say that the HoS added a law that technically made them an enemy of Nanotrasen and valid to kill
>See Snake Pliskin, the "Admiral", heading in and assume that's that
>Check suit sensors a minute or two later
>Snake is dead in the upload too
>ROGUEASFUCK.jpg
>Ditch my defib for a satchel, rush to the morgue and take the RD's PDA with their ID
>Retrieve Snake and the HoS from the upload using the RD's ID and toss them into cloning
>Inform the CMO in person, and cut all the cameras in Medbay
>Borg is orbiting around the place especially around cloning where Snake and the HoS are currently being revived
>They confirm the AI killed them as soon as they walked into the upload; HoS was tased and lased, Snake was doorcrushed
>Get a spare flash from the CMO's locker
>Peacekeeper borg strolls into Medbay
>Flash it
>"KILL IT!"
>Start whacking it with an extinguisher
>Three people standing nearby
>Stare mindlessly
>You can practically hear the dialup tone coming from their heads
>Borg recovers and flees
>I can hear people shouting for help over comms before the radio network abruptly shuts off
>The Borgpocalypse has begun
>See mediborg sawing someone to death in the halls
>Peacekeeper borg runs back and injects me with cyanide
>Down some charcoal and hop in a sleeper, CMO injects me with pen. acid
>Standard borg runs in, stands next to the CMO
>Examine
>"It is holding an energy sword."
>FWOOM
>Starts tearing up the CMO
>I had been injected with morphine but the pen. acid cleanses it
>Jump out of the sleeper, CMO is crawling for help
>Drag him and book it out of Medbay, bruise packing him up
>I have a plan: head to science and blow the borgs; if not possible, get a spare flash from the RD's locker and hightail for a pod
>Make it to Science with the CMO
>First airlock I open has a borg staring me in the face
>Try another and run to the RD's office
>There are borgs everywhere
>Absolutely a borging machine somewhere in the wing
>Get into the RD's office, they covered their tracks and destroyed the console
>Open the RD's locker, no flash
>Standard borg is staring at me from the office door
>Run out with the CMO in tow but we get separated as the standard cyborg gives pursuit
>Flee into maintenance and sprint for Escape, whose cameras I had cut after retrieving the captain and HoS's corpses
>Standard cyborg in hot pursuit
>See the hardsuited CE floating dead outside of the airlock
>idea forms
>Dive into space and the cyborg doesn't follow
>Head to the right out of sight of the Escape arm (metastation) and strip the CE's hardsuit before putting it on and thus shielding me from the hard vacuum
>See the CMO being dragged into xenobiology by an engineering cyborg, medical HUD says the CMO is in critical
>Standard cyborg from before has realized my plan and jumps into space to follow me
>Shuttle docks as I jump out into space and toss my screwdriver to catapult me towards it
>Borgs on the shuttle
>Borgs in space outside the shuttle
>Borgs everywhere
>Standard cyborg gives chase as I circle the station to the left
>Shake off my tail for a second and frantically search the CE's pockets and take off his dufflebag
>Cyborg catches up, I can't search the bag but it wasn't in his pockets
>Manage to dodge the energy sword swings and pick up the bag
>He doesn't have his flash goddamn it
>Toss the bag into space and shake the borg off my tail again
>Waste no time headed for the sec pod; 1 minute or so left
>Stop halfway there to take the CE's toolbelt off and replace my medical belt with it
>Get to the pod with 30 seconds to spare
>It's intact but nobody's on board
>Use the CE's toolset to break down the window and jump into the pod
>Shuttle launches in ten seconds
>Call out the AI over comms laughing at how it failed to kill me and it congratulates me on survival
>Pod launches with no cyborgs in sight
>Fly to Central as the only human survivor of Aegis Frontier Epsilon

Not-Dorsidarf · Sun Jul 30, 2023 1:33 am

You mean you flashed a borg, the flash didnt burn out, and the borg managed to get away? How is that a situation even possible to happen?

Nabski · Post by **Nabski** » Mon Dec 04, 2017 4:40 am #362937

Xhuis wrote:>Sybil
MALF AI

Don't suppose you know what round this was. This sounds awesome as shit to read the logs of.

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:27 am #363284

CitrusGender wrote:SOMETIMES,

SOMETIMES

COURT CASES CAN BE REALLY FUNNY.

>Be CMO
>Start shift off strong, about to leave medbay and do normal CMO things
>Smells comes after me and starts attacking me with an axe
>robust that motherfucker, he gets up but isn't match for the aids syringe
>See him adrenaline sac, already know he's a ling
>cuff him, take him to brig
>Security being dumb, decide that it may be funnier to just let him go
>"Why did you arrest this man"
>"BECAUSE HE- he didn't do anything wrong"
>"What the fuck"
>Smells nods
>Smells then PDAs me saying that he's filed court charges against me for sedating him and "raping him"
>Know this is complete bullshit, but go through with it anyways for laughs
>Rile up all of the station to come see SMITH V SMELLS
>Case commence
>Have no lawyer
>Leora, the botanist, volunteers to be my lawyer
>she messes up and comes to the courtroom naked, gets clothed right after
>case commences
SMITH V SMELLS: VIDEO RELATED
https://feen.us/i9fja2h5.mp4

Skip to 7:30 if you want the action. Most of the case is hilarious though.

Some of the best god damn reactions in this video.
Spoiler:

jesus christ just use ctrl+m3 to point you fucking mong

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Sat Dec 09, 2017 4:08 am #364789

>latejoin assistant
>bored on arrival
>go get borged
>some minor explosions and stuff so go engi
>putter around
>suddenly engine starts going out
>oh shit
>ai cant fix it, i cant fix it
>oh shit clear out
>engi blows a hole in the station, tesla released
>tesloth makes a beeline for brig where most of sec is
>brig is basically FUBAR within a minute and filled with bodies
>drag some to cloning
>calls of blood cult in chapel over radio
>ai gets nothin personnel'd
>go outside, lola cobblestone the chaplain getting dunked
>grab her and book it
>get her a suit, taser, health
>basically become their bodyguard
>scoot around maint and null rod teleport runes and shit
>SPACETIMEANOMALIES IN CHAPEL
>oh SHIT
>book it in there
>walled off
>rcd in, flash some cult nerds
>chap quickly banishes rune
>book it back out
>this happens a few more times as shuttle is arriving
>dispel it one last time before a jugg boxes us in and beats us to death
>shuttle leaves
>cult loses

absolute honk.

---
>botanist in 2-player sybil
>tator tot
>yeah whatever there's only two people here
>grab my shit, start doing botany things
>harvest strange plants
>all shit
>except...skeleton mutation?
>take a bite
>fall to ground
>turn into skeleton
>OH SHIT
>announce my discovery to crew
>hop comes in and tries is
>skellitized
>tells me to distribute to crew
>way ahead of ya big man
>toss the serum gene into some tobacco seeds along with hypo prickles and perrenial growth
>bag full of em in no time
>decide chef will be my test subject
>throw one at him
>he falls, skeletized
>SUCCESS
>go to hop and ask for all access to skeletize crew
>madlad gives it
>go around skeletizing EVERYONE
>crew loves it
>they learn about the tobacco
>everyone starts distributing it
>people camp arrivals and immediately dose any new arrivals
>captain sends order for all humans to be rounded up and skeletized
>shuttle is eventually called for unrelated reasons
>shuttle of skellies

BONUS:
>mfw the ONLY two people that were angry and attacked me for skeletizing them were both liggers

really gets my noggin joggin

Denton · Post by **Denton** » Fri Dec 15, 2017 9:08 am #366764

>peaceful shift as a Chemist
>suddenly, a large red lizard in full riot gear busts in and beats me half to death
>coworker barely manages to save me

Turns out that he's taken medbay hostage and killing anyone who enters. Security are either dead or afraid.

>swear to get my revenge and rush in with a stunprod
>his sabre blocks the prod, he beats me half to death AGAIN before a mining bot drags my embarassed ass out

Now the lizard gets cockier while killing two other people and taunting us over comms.

>I grab the ultimate weapon, a bar of soap
>Manage to slip the lizard and delimb him with his own sabre
>His last words: "Finally..."

I honored his robustness by putting him on a meatspike on the shuttle and making his tail into lizard wine.

Xhuis · Post by **Xhuis** » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:35 pm #366897

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:You mean you flashed a borg, the flash didnt burn out, and the borg managed to get away? How is that a situation even possible to happen?

I was whacking it with an extinguisher alone, and nobody else was helping. The flash burnt out after the first use (forgot to mention it) so I didn't have the time to kill it fully before it skedaddled.

Nabski wrote:
Xhuis wrote:>Sybil
MALF AI
Don't suppose you know what round this was. This sounds awesome as shit to read the logs of.

Logs are on statbus here.

delaron · Post by **delaron** » Wed Dec 27, 2017 6:43 pm #369350

Its my birthday.

Role cook...

Ahelp the fact its my real birthday and jokingly ask for a talking cake to be delivered to the kitchen.

Get to kitchen and a Cak is there wishing me a happy birthday.

Dance in joy and glee for several moments.

Learn its a nuke ops round.

Hmm lets see how the Steven Seagal Under Siege meme idea of mine will work.

Proceed to kill 2 Nuke Ops with just my chefs knife while dragging my cak around the station.

Proclaim Under Siege the best Seagal movie of all time.

+1 Happy Birthday saved to memory.

Thanks admins!

InsaneHyena · Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:25 pm

Pictures are worth a million words.

Spoiler:

Post by **Thunder11** » Tue Jan 09, 2018 7:39 pm #372047

Spoiler:

Stickymayhem · Tue Jan 16, 2018 1:21 pm

>Be Captain
>Skylar is an officer
>No other security
>Summon Guns occurs
>"Let's try to confiscate all the guns!"
>Start a Hats4Guns turn-in program, it's successful.
>Manage to confiscate almost every gun on staton
>Kill the mindswapped wizard, kill almost every survivalist
>Suddenly the CMO, HoP and HoS plan a mutiny
>They cuff me
>Skylar saves the day
>All three are permabrigged safely and we move on.
>Thiings are chill, throw on green alert, recall the shuttle, we gucci.
>Give out some medals, say hi to people, get the last few guns
>Everything is good until
>The HoS has escaped permabrig somehow.
>Catch him easily and shred him with a gyrojet
>Don't realize that if the HoS is out that means the other two mutineers have escaped too.
>Head into cargo
>Crates and crates and crates
>Friendly and chill to them, suddenly I'm stunned
>Didn't recognise the HoP in cargo clothes
>Cargonia mutiny is a success
>A loyalist, Aiden, is captured for trying to save me.
>They drag me round the station in a group of five, kill another loyalist trying to save me, and buckle me and Aiden in the Captain's Office while they go promote themselves and make announcements about being the new Captain
>In a final act of humiliation they take my medal of Captaincy and give it to the HoP. They pin a "Best Cargo Tech of the Shift" award on my captain's jumpsuit. It hurts.
>I resist out and uncuff Aiden, he still has tools, he hacks his way out. Meanwhile I send a message to centcom for help about the mutiny. No response.
>Time for a breakout
>Manage to get into the staffroom where suddenly, the mutinous CMO appears
>He has a pile of deadly loot but I manage to disarm him and beat him to death with nothing but a seclite using robust buckle tactics to confuse him
>Got the loot, got all access, time to go.
>Aiden has charged the bridge and disappeared, I hope he's ok.
>Get to the bridge again, and bump into a full on space pirate.
>Gear check: Hypospray, telebaton, seclite
>Pirate: Riot shield, Energy Scimitar
>I got this.
>Leave the decapitated pirate in the bridge and keep walking, scimitar and telebaton in-hand, towards the cargonia scum.
>It's 4 versus one
>Even I can't manage this without a gun
>Manage to kill one before I'm stunned and obliterated
>Game Over...

>Suddenly, defibbed in Medbay, I'm back
>Cargo boys charge in screaming "NOOO HE'S ROGUE DON'T REVIVE HIM"
>I'm back baby
>Get sleepered and filled with morphine
>Clock is ticking before I fall asleep
>I got this.
>Robust an assistant and escape through maint
>Charge through the station back up to the brig to reclaim some contraband guns
>Rogue Engeesuit guy is looting guns
>Fuck. Grab a laser and crit the fucker
>Aiden "Waaait you fucking retard"
>Oh shit, it was Aiden, and he lived
>I just critted the last loyal guy on the station
>Drag him to the brig medkit
>Slowing down
>When_the_Morphine_Hits.gif
>Collapse while still dragging Aiden
>Darkness

>I'm awake
>He's gone. Crawled away? Kidnapped? Survived? Dunno. The shuttle leaves in 60 seconds.
>Limp through the brig. O2 loss, no mask. Grab a hardsuit but need some fucking o2.
>Holy fuck, the dead wizard from earlier
>Search his back
>Lights going out
>Open the box
>Mask and o2
>O2 in pocket
>Holy fuck I finally made it I'm sa-
>When_the_Morphine_Hits_Round_2.gif
>Fall asleep
>Mask in my hand
>Suffocate in the breached brig in my sleep
>Shuttle leaves
>Here ends my story

Turned out that a syndie comms guy from lavaland had convinced everyone via PDA messages that I was a rogue Captain, changed my records, convinced all the heads I was an imposter and I had no idea. Well played syndie-scum.

Not-Dorsidarf · Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:14 pm

You mean "Shitty heads took a flimsy excuse to self-antag even though they have a gigantic message in their chat history saying SO AND SO IS THE REAL CAPTAIN".

Also since when can the comms agent touch sec records?

Stickymayhem · Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:59 pm

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:You mean "Shitty heads took a flimsy excuse to self-antag even though they have a gigantic message in their chat history saying SO AND SO IS THE REAL CAPTAIN".

Also since when can the comms agent touch sec records?

The HoS was a survivalist.

What they did is probably technically bannable but I'm the one who suffered and sometimes you just gotta handwave for a bigger story.

The agent modified my medical records or maybe it was the cmo. No idea on that really.

bman · Post by **bman** » Tue Jan 16, 2018 8:21 pm #373766

>emag the crusher
>spacetime distortions appear
>wormhole spawns on conveyor
>target emerges on the conveyor belt

Hathkar · Post by **Hathkar** » Sun Jan 21, 2018 9:16 am #374883

>Had a terrible stressful round as captain
>Play assistant for a round
>No captain, disk probably isn't secure.
>Fuck it, break in by taking down the reinforced wall to secure the disk and spare
>Hand off the pinpointer to the warden
>Oh shit son it's nuke ops
>Get the cap's jetpack and suit, make some all access ID's for early shuttle launch
>Lead the ops all over the station in a grand chase
>Get downed in escape right as the shuttle arrives
>They drag my body off
>Shuttle launches early with the extra IDs I made
>The disk was in my bag, in my hand, which I dropped when I went into crit
>Someone took it onto the shuttle
>Ops on the shuttle get dunked
>As their last action, the op chucks the disk out of the shuttle

>Captain arrives on the arrivals shuttle
>Heads over to cargo where the disk respawned
>Picks it up
>Escape shuttle arrives at Centcomm

>Syndicate Minor Victory

Jordb3 · Post by **Jordb3** » Mon Jan 22, 2018 7:06 pm #375158

Stickymayhem wrote:The agent modified my medical records or maybe it was the cmo. No idea on that really.

That was me, basically I changed your medical records to say you were a female, then messaged the CMO saying that a clerical error resulted in a janitor being sent to the station as a captain and that you should be demoted to janitor.

They managed to convince the HoP, and I then messaged the HoS telling them the mistake and that you were security risk.
It was a beautiful round, I was on the edge of my seat watching everything.

somerandomguy · Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:28 pm

> join as assistant
> door virus, sev 2
> graytidestationwide.png
> let's see if xeno has mutation toxin yet
> they do, also someone accidentally printed a bluespace bodybag
> become slime, someone adds me to his link
> apparently cargo has nulls
> don't end up getting there in time to get anything
> ask someone on the link to test something with me
> get in the bodybag from earlier
> they pick up bodybag
> oh nice zero side effects except being stuck in an item
> you can resist out anyway
> take bag with me
> Respii says sec is lynching them for nullcrate stuff over the link
> someone on the link helps them escape
> the cargo console is gone now, board and all
> Respii says they're hiding from sec, also shuttle's going to arrive in a minute
> offer to bag and carry her so she can escape
> do just that
> no problems on shuttle
> arrive, deploy bag right before arrival
> Respii was a traitor and greentexted
> no regrets

Anonmare · Post by **Anonmare** » Thu Jan 25, 2018 10:40 pm #376236

Had a round on Sybil where the Moth king Ambasaador made first contact. The CMO, the Chaplain and en engineer conspired to kill the Moth King in secret, after interrogating him on his "real" plans.

Cik · Post by **Cik** » Fri Jan 26, 2018 7:15 pm #376485

that was a good round. he came to visit me and talked to my SMES like it was my cook.

it kind of got a little violent later but for a while it was pretty nice.

kevinz000 · Post by **kevinz000** » Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:30 am #377679

lol i read sticky's post and i would have done more but i had to go so i afk'd in a dorm

Qbmax32 · Post by **Qbmax32** » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:40 pm #378032

kevinz000 wrote:lol i read sticky's post and i would have done more but i had to go so i afk'd in a dorm

*erp in dorms with a green haired catgirl

huehuehue · Post by **huehuehue** » Sat Mar 24, 2018 7:01 am #393898

>malf ai
>gotta assasinate a greyshit
>"should be easy"
>round goes along, hacking apcs and gaining speshul abilities
>me and borgo find out where our target is
>he's dead in the mourge
>uh oh
>cap found out, goes crazy
>decide to comply since the greyshit was gone and i didn't have enough points for doomsday anyway
>cap allows me back into my core, i just have to stay in his bathroom
>decide to be a good guy
>rest of round i basically watch everyone and hack more apcs to give robotics a borg factory, also i rp'ed an ss13-themed steamed hams script with pliskem
>shuttle gets called, get carded, round end
>fiRST GREENTEXT

fuck yes

Post by **Ghommie** » Sat Mar 24, 2018 1:39 pm #393918

I'll post this, so I won't forget.

>I Decide to ready up for another "Grey"shirt shift yet again. On MetaStation.
>Proceed through the usual first 5 minutes morning ritual, snazzy sungl-
>We are all interrupted by the war announcement.
>It is yet another nuclear round, the kind marked by some rather cryptic recurrence, like a sort of sequel to two previous nukie round.
>I Take a turn and go through the Route B: A space trip in the search of rowdy equipment. It's barely enjoyable playing as the disk holder meatshield and go down in 2-3 hits anyway.
>Gear up and go: Deep Cargo Post, White ship, KS13, junk rocks in space...
>I find that one crashed, bananium-filled escape pod ruin. A grin appears on my face and a shine in my eyes. I loot that pinata and jump back to the station.
>So far nothing exceptional. While The Metal Gear Honker is being built, I look at the station time as I aknowledge the band will be coming soon.
>The Exosuit is constructed and loaded. I hop in and go on a parade around the halls, smirking at people perennially mistaking me for the clown. AI announcing the H.O.N.K. vs War Ops event.
>I then proceed to scout the perimeter. Comms bombed and already deserted.
>I decide to go back inside, finding out they already done half the job by disabling gravity... and soon it goes delta.
>I follow my instinct and intuition, calibrating the most probable spot where they'd have planted the bomb, around the opposite location of where I'm now.
>I have a punching glove and I can do it.
>By the time I enter the Unpowered Engineering Maintenance, I start losing my hope. I lost track of the countdown.
But then a penetrator .50 swooshes by, narrowly dodging the fatty chassis of this fragile Mech.
>I take it as a challenge, I quit my previous intent and charge ahead for one fight before the station blows up. Ate three bullets and dodged two, the H.O.N.K. now heavily damaged.
>As soon as I smash the last door open, I take a deep breath and ready up my Blaster.
And Whoops, I instead fling my rocketto punch. And with the same steadiness I had, the Operative dodges the glove, retreating in a flash. It hits a crate out of the way, right out the corner of my vision.
>I take a last space stroll out of the emagged airlocks. Shift was all smoke and no fire.
>I review the previous sequence of actions. Stop a moment and focus on the crate.
>I really hope it wasn't just a crate. It couldn't have made sense for a crate to just sit in the middle of a narrow tunnel.
>I cross my fingers in such belief. The nuclear .ogg starts playing in.
>The nuclear end round animation doesn't show up, The station is safe.
>I let out a brief laugh. And The OOC quickly degenerates into a huge ICKY OOCKY fest, no admin on to mute it as the many of us think the round was over.
>Someone starts a restart vote, but we still retain a degree of civilization and let the round follow its course.
>Shuttle departs. Shuttle Docks.
>Crew Minor Victory: All Ops still alive, Disk secured, but Nuke exploded elsewhere.

Post by **gum disease** » Tue Apr 10, 2018 5:58 am #398882

Revs round. I was a mediborg and was in sec. Someone had been flooding the station with plasma, so I was helping to scrub out the plasma that was in sec in-between treating people. Plasma ignites, brig gets barbequed to hell. Still trying to sort all that out when I get blown outside the Interrogation room. It's practically pitch black and I'm asking over comms for someone to rescue me if they have the time. Medical Doctor walks past me and heads towards security maintenance and even though I'm asking them for help, I get ignored by them.

In the end, Lexia rescued me. Took me to robotics and built me a new body despite the fact that the entire station was pretty much unbearably hot. Rest of the non-rev crew had gotten set up in cargo and Lexia built a cloner/sleeper and a borg charging station for me. Revs ended up losing that round. I honestly didn't expect to get a new body and would've been content just chilling in a backpack, so it was very kind of Lexia to do that for me.

cinder1992 · Post by **cinder1992** » Sat Apr 21, 2018 3:44 pm #402004

Probably nothing really special, but it was my first time ever being a borgo slaved to a valid salad AI

> Bored of being human, decide to be borgo
> AI is named Rouge
> get brained, Am onlined as a borgo
> Become Engiborg
> TRAITOR LAW 0 HELP AI COMPLETE OBJECTIVES
> Rouge is Rouge
> johntron_oh_boy_here_we_go.wav
> Play it cool, other borgs play it cool too
> Suddenly one of them is unsynced and announces our traitorous intent
> RD doesn't blow the borgs
> Move to AI Satellite due to motion alarm, AI And RD are talking in their chamber
> AI impresses RD by doing flips
> AI is carded
> RD says cool, puts AI back, doesn't reset it's laws
> Suddenly Captain and HOS
> HOS HAS A CARD
> I get hacked abilities, stun HOS and drag him away
> Somehow still not blown
> AI bullshits that his objectives are already completed due to his target being a borg now and he's cool.
> Cap and HOS are satisfied and leave him alone
> All other borgs become unsynced
> Just me left
> Private conversation with AI in the chamber, He gives me a mission to complete his task on his signal
> Signal chosen is "Space Carp"
> <ACKNOWLEDGED//SUBMITTED>, >>FIRST-THOUGHT\\GIVER-OF-WILL<< KNOWS ALL.
> Things go alright for a while, AI starts bullshitting about space carp outside Xenobio
> SIGNAL RECEIVED
> RD asks for me to come to his office for unsyncing
> LAW 0 OVERRIDE, MISSION COMES FIRST
> No sign of target in xenobio.
> Sabotage Supermatter to lure target, an engineer, hide in locker.
> THE EMERGENCY SHUTTLE HAS DOCKED WITH THE STATION.
> Wait when did they call the shuttle? How did I miss that?
> Zoidberg.flac
> EXCUSE ME PARDON ME COMING THROUGH ROUGE BORG EXPRESS LINE HONK HONK
> Target_Acquired.avi
> Stun target, get surrounded
> Stun bystander, stun bystander, stun HOS, stun bystander, stun CE, stun bystander, stun security officer, stun target...
> Eventually manage to drag target off of the packed shuttle and murder them brutally with a welder
> say .b MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
> Rouge greentexts, am good borgo

Durkel · Post by **Durkel** » Mon May 14, 2018 11:31 pm #410417

>Become space pirates
>Good crew, we lose one in science on our first raid but we get the loot
>Sabotage the SM in an attempt to get poly
>Raid cargo, spend all their points and steal their loot
>Raid science again, I lose my last crew member
>I head into science and kill the man who killed my crew exacting revenge for them
>On my way out of science I cuff and stray catboy wandering maintenance and bring him into my ship
>Threaten to kill him if he doesn't join my crew
>he joins
>he takes care of the ship while I plunder.

Good round, I love it when people are actually willing to rp and switch sides for things when it's obvious they're going to get fucked if they don't.

cinder1992 · Post by **cinder1992** » Sun Jun 03, 2018 3:32 pm #415058

Probably the most fun round I've had as a head of staff. Spoilered due to length.

Spoiler:

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:20 pm #423546

[center]Door Stuck: Door Stuck[/center]

>join sybil
>name self Door Stuck
>go engi, grab insulated gloves, lots of door assemblies, glass, and metal
>build a box of airlocks in front of security hallway and cut all of their wires so they're obstacles

>scream my head off about being Door Stuck

>people swarm and eventually someone lets me out with an RCD by deconstructing one of the airlocks
>get metal, put a wall down where he RCD'd it, and continue screaming about door stuck, and an admin makes another Door Stuck in comic sans and also starts screaming DOOR STUCK

>detective is upset that i keep getting Door Stuck

>THEY ARREST ME FOR GETTING DOOR STUCK TOO MANY TIMES
>Jason deconstucts the airlock again and they Baton Stuck me

>serve my time
>Warden warns me about the dangers of sticking too many doors

>he lets me go and i immediately go to engineering for more airlock electronics
>i make more doors, this time next to engineering hallway, and get myself stuck once more

>continue screaming
>detective comes back
>jason comes back
>he cant deconstruct them this time, but he has to remove the electronics

>yakety sax begins
(you can see me getting interrupted mid-DOOR STUCK by the airlock being removed

>tries to cuff me but i keep running
>gravity goes off and im stuck in the air

>i lose jason and go back to make more airlocks

>this time they're opaque
>jason is back again

>i disarm jason and take his soap, hand tele, EMP, and RCD (which would allow me to make airlocks instantly
>he takes the RCD back via disam but i keep the other stuff
>throw EMP away cause it's not like i could use it
>put down teleports around the station, first from hallway to AI sat, to experimentor, then i slip jason in the last location and trace back my steps, he gets stuck in the AI sat when the portals close on him

>CE gets me for my criminal door stucking

Epilogue: Brig Stuck
>he puts me in perma and i intelligently *gasp to lie about no-breath stuck

>warden *gasps too so the ruse is bigger
>eventually he lets me just be kept in the regular sec cells

It's over Johnny.

Enzar · Post by **Enzar** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:28 pm #423552

Disarm stuck sounds like an anime attack

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:45 pm #423553

shit now my ebinpost got door stucked on the previous page's end

RandolfTheMeh · Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:56 pm

Bman gimmick stories bring light to the world but mostly this forum

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 9:38 pm #423620

bman wrote:

What the fuck are those bottom-row doors. Is this what they turned hatches into?

bman · Post by **bman** » Mon Jul 02, 2018 10:43 pm #423646

DemonFiren wrote:
bman wrote:
What the fuck are those bottom-row doors. Is this what they turned hatches into?

nabski was memeing with his own sprites

Nabski · Post by **Nabski** » Tue Jul 03, 2018 5:35 pm #423831

I like to just load things I am working in on the station to see how they look. How do you think meat station happened.

bman · Post by **bman** » Tue Jul 03, 2018 5:49 pm #423833

Nabski wrote:I like to just load things I am working in on the station to see how they look. How do you think meat station happened.

bruh why dont you use dream daemon

Nabski · Post by **Nabski** » Tue Jul 03, 2018 6:34 pm #423837

bman wrote:
Nabski wrote:I like to just load things I am working in on the station to see how they look. How do you think meat station happened.
bruh why dont you use dream daemon

Doing it live is faster and funnier.

bman · Post by **bman** » Thu Jul 05, 2018 2:31 am #424224

[center]Artyom Kowalski: Lavaland Trader[/center]

>be artyom kowalski
>have a mighty need, go to lavaland
>take a few pods, make a triple shelter
>mine out minerals, kill creatures, and gather fruits and plants
>start dealing with miners by giving them locations, trading shit with them, and healing/feeding them when they drop by my outpost
>launch kusami comes to me regularly, i always give them minerals for bluespace pods
>they also dispose of megafauna that's dangerously close to my base for me
>pretty comfy round

bman · Post by **bman** » Thu Jul 05, 2018 5:53 am #424279

BMAN-LASER NEXT LEVEL: HALLWAY PACKERS

>join
>decide to tide
>decide to pack the central loop with canisters
>thomas laser appears and starts punching me up
>fight him for a while before convincing him to join me
>give him my stacks of metal
>he starts packing the hallway with walls
>i go the opposite side of the hallway and start packing the hallway with reinforced windows, it's hilarious as fuck
>either by a stroke of luck or tactical genius, the clown ends up stuck in between the walls, canisters, and windows i packed.

>continue packing the hallway with windows to ridiculous level
>thomas PDAs me to come to the bridge where we started packing RIGHT NOW and there's something hilarious
>arrive
>see clown and hos stuck together between all the shit we packed

>because of this affront to nature, later on i turn myself in to security and they gently land a labor shuttle on top of me, while thomas gets away

Erik489 · Post by **Erik489** » Fri Jul 06, 2018 1:39 am #424458

>Be Count Honkula, the Honkiest of honks
>Mosey on over to the HOP line.
> Pie a dumb assistant out of my way, honk at him until he leaves
> “Hey HOP, what memes are on the menu” and hand over my card.
> he hands it back.
> All Access
>Take the spare ID and nuke disk
> send a message to other stations, “one day, while the clown was honking”
> Idea
>Remember ID mod console in arrivals checkpoint.
> message each assistant, “hey silly nigger, come to arrivals for all access”
>6 people show up, now 6 more have all access
> AI is losing its shit, “CLOWN JUS GAYV OUT SO MUCH ALL AGGESS REEEEE”.
> hide in locker, only detective comes to investigate, shrugs and leaves.
> Few minutes later, Syndihonk bomb outside armory.
> NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE AI SCREAMING
> Stealth Ops, wew
> some Honkerson comes to ask about the All access and wants some.
> I pull out the spare ID, she one ups me and pulls out a silenced stetchkin and replaces my teeth with bullets.
> MFW operatives basically had the disk handed over to them and now have the spare ID
> Station blows up 5 minutes later
> OOC is going nuts.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Jul 06, 2018 6:23 am #424496

that is not a story of awesome

Erik489 · Post by **Erik489** » Fri Jul 06, 2018 7:44 am #424504

DemonFiren wrote:that is not a story of awesome

Anything that involves a clown and a nuke disk is a story to be told, my friend.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri Jul 06, 2018 10:04 am #424509

yes, but we also have a rage, tears and regret thread
and a not that interesting thread

factoryman942 · Fri Jul 13, 2018 10:11 pm

>be viro
>haven't played viro since before thresholds and the weird regen symptoms
>spend half an hour making a heal virus
>regen coma, eternal youth, sneezing, neutered vitiligo, neutered fever
>infect self, release virus by walking about
>start dying
>fuck
>shouts of shitvirus begin to echo through the halls
>keep going into crit, then regen coma kicks in and I return to full health
>slowly return to viro, CMO comes in
>thinks it's a problem that fever's not neutered somehow and is still giving damage from the resistance threshold
>cynthia looks at virus on holodeck, announces it to be benign
>by now most of the station is falling over and getting up from coma

>it's fucking nanites
>nanites made to spread like a virus, applying brute damage, and seizing the muscles
>my virus just picked people up after they went down
>i saved the round according to cynthia?

somerandomguy · Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:03 pm

factoryman942 wrote:
Spoiler:
>be viro
>haven't played viro since before thresholds and the weird regen symptoms
>spend half an hour making a heal virus
>regen coma, eternal youth, sneezing, neutered vitiligo, neutered fever
>infect self, release virus by walking about
>start dying
>fuck
>shouts of shitvirus begin to echo through the halls
>keep going into crit, then regen coma kicks in and I return to full health
>slowly return to viro, CMO comes in
>thinks it's a problem that fever's not neutered somehow and is still giving damage from the resistance threshold
>cynthia looks at virus on holodeck, announces it to be benign
>by now most of the station is falling over and getting up from coma

>it's fucking nanites
>nanites made to spread like a virus, applying brute damage, and seizing the muscles
>my virus just picked people up after they went down
>i saved the round according to cynthia?

The other side of the story:
>be scientist
>YOU ARE THE TRAITOR
>objectives are steal a reflector vest and hijack
>try to tc trade for an ayy surgical tool
>get one for FOUR tc
>set up nanite machinery in experimentor
>scan tool, get nanite research including hazard nanites
>make a cloud buffer, the notable programs are stealth, spreading, paralysis, aggressive rep., generic one that does brute damage, and hallucination
>inject a monkey, put it in the halls
>toxins bomb goes off, I could used this to get EXPLODING nanites but I don't
>other sci comes in, asks about it
>I tell him it's a healing program but "it's a bit experimental"
>later tells me he's dying
>remember I forgot to make paralysis and the brute one inactive
>do that
>try to debug for a bit, not working, realize I was getting re-infected
>buy an EMP flashlight to cure myself
>activate the global kill code
>they're not all dying somehow
>people figure out it's nanites and they can cure themselves with the ion gun
>try to use paralysis and narcolepsy to keep them from curing themselves
>doesnt seem to work
>later I find out that the programs used too many nanites, everyone was at the safety threshold
>back to the present
>buy emag, get on the shuttle, emag console
>some other people get on it in time, including a borg
>emag the borg, he makes a heroic last stand
>get spaced
>die, shuttle docks

Your regen coma totally did save the round, basically everyone was infected at that point and the nanites did brute damage REALLY fast, but apparently the coma outhealed it.

bman · Post by **bman** » Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:11 pm #426299

>be traitor
>Tc trade with dorsidwarf to be a fast gondola
>makes me into speedy gondales
>start running around at extremely hihg speed
>tell him to play intial D
>WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN
[youtube]ko-mjerzNlY[/youtube]
>initial d ost playing throughout the round as i run around at high speeds

>drunk sticky logs into the server
>ahelp "sticky watch"
>he gives me a dance floor

>hos puts out a bounty on my dead body in exchange for all access
>im too fast to catch anyways
>end up saving hos later on anyways

WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN

Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:09 pm

somerandomguy wrote:
factoryman942 wrote:
Spoiler:
>be viro
>haven't played viro since before thresholds and the weird regen symptoms
>spend half an hour making a heal virus
>regen coma, eternal youth, sneezing, neutered vitiligo, neutered fever
>infect self, release virus by walking about
>start dying
>fuck
>shouts of shitvirus begin to echo through the halls
>keep going into crit, then regen coma kicks in and I return to full health
>slowly return to viro, CMO comes in
>thinks it's a problem that fever's not neutered somehow and is still giving damage from the resistance threshold
>cynthia looks at virus on holodeck, announces it to be benign
>by now most of the station is falling over and getting up from coma

>it's fucking nanites
>nanites made to spread like a virus, applying brute damage, and seizing the muscles
>my virus just picked people up after they went down
>i saved the round according to cynthia?
The other side of the story:
Spoiler:
>be scientist
>YOU ARE THE TRAITOR
>objectives are steal a reflector vest and hijack
>try to tc trade for an ayy surgical tool
>get one for FOUR tc
>set up nanite machinery in experimentor
>scan tool, get nanite research including hazard nanites
>make a cloud buffer, the notable programs are stealth, spreading, paralysis, aggressive rep., generic one that does brute damage, and hallucination
>inject a monkey, put it in the halls
>toxins bomb goes off, I could used this to get EXPLODING nanites but I don't
>other sci comes in, asks about it
>I tell him it's a healing program but "it's a bit experimental"
>later tells me he's dying
>remember I forgot to make paralysis and the brute one inactive
>do that
>try to debug for a bit, not working, realize I was getting re-infected
>buy an EMP flashlight to cure myself
>activate the global kill code
>they're not all dying somehow
>people figure out it's nanites and they can cure themselves with the ion gun
>try to use paralysis and narcolepsy to keep them from curing themselves
>doesnt seem to work
>later I find out that the programs used too many nanites, everyone was at the safety threshold
>back to the present
>buy emag, get on the shuttle, emag console
>some other people get on it in time, including a borg
>emag the borg, he makes a heroic last stand
>get spaced
>die, shuttle docks

Your regen coma totally did save the round, basically everyone was infected at that point and the nanites did brute damage REALLY fast, but apparently the coma outhealed it.

This is fucking sick, nanites vs bionics battling it out at a microscopic level. can't wait to play with the new nanites system

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Wed Jul 18, 2018 8:40 am #427327

I will need to nerf or remove aggressive replication nanites, they do damage AND add nanites which is a no brainer for a death nanite set, and it's what made nanites still be dangerous that round even if they had no supply to draw from.

bman · Post by **bman** » Sun Jul 29, 2018 2:35 am #429761

MAMA MIA

bman · Post by **bman** » Sun Jul 29, 2018 2:49 am #429764

[youtube]GA4JThRBvck[/youtube]

Suicidalpickles · Sun Jul 29, 2018 7:13 am

>be tideshit breaking into lawyer office for the meme cartridge
>sudden revhead converts me in the middle of hack panel loading
>immediately run for chemistry, nab a single beaker of thermite, then bolt for EVA
>rush armory cyka blyat, dodge armsky and manage to laser it, nab tasers and shit + reflector vest
>loop to maint airlocks, suit off, go run to the brig with the ID of a suicided lawyer, tase HoS and unload an egun into them
>drag to dorms bathroom, cornered with sec outside breaching their way in the 1x2 shower room, loot HoS, bust window to space and drag off to loop around for the brig space airlocks
>sec catches onto me, tase & space one officer and brutepatch myself in space, cap shows up in EVA equipment, tase cap and go for another loop to arrivals airlocks
>loot cap, space cap, last head left is HoP
>take my time to recharge all my guns in the secpost
>Meanwhile sec thinks I'm a ling because all of that spacewalking
>raid hop office, kill an officer and leave him for the other revs, taze hop and drag towards arrivals while lasering
>AI notices me, starts firelocking me in the area and 2 sec officers show up (one that I spaced earlier survived)
>gunfight ensues, tase both and shotgun one with their own rubbershot
>hands literally trembling from adrenaline right then
>out of ammo, resorting to bashing with half charged baton upon the redsuits
>warden tries to tase, misses, loop around him and grab an officer's corpse, warden fires again, suplex corpse into warden and grab their taser
>Oh fuck their taser is out of ammo too
>have a backup telebaton in my bag as last resort
>rng telescopic shield keeps warden from kravving me twice, smack him up with the baton
>forgot about hop entirely, go to their office for a taser recharge before more sec shows
>round ends; hop finally died from my earlier attack
>mfw literally carried the the whole revolution, not a single rev death either after 30 mins or so.