Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

leibniz · Post by **leibniz** » Sun Mar 19, 2017 12:14 pm #269988

Bottom post of the previous page:

XDTM wrote:Where do you all find the time to make these before shuttle call

Well yeah, I needed the stars to align to make this happen:
1. be on box so it doesnt take 30 minutes to redirect ALL disposals into engineering (box is kinda rare on bagil)
2. get CE
3. get antag
4. hope others who get antag dont memesword everyone to death or dont bomb the station to shit in 20 minutes, even minor explosions can fuck up disposals

confused rock · Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:13 pm

Least unoriginal gimmick of the month award goes to you

cedarbridge · Post by **cedarbridge** » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:28 pm #270593

>10pop Sybil up way later than I should be
>Non-antag RD
>We got a miner in those 10. Nice.
>He went braindead where he spawned. Not nice.
>crank out the levels, push as far as I can without mining mats
>no captain or other responsible heads so I guess I step up as interim captain
>some nerd stole the ID because of course they did
>warden shows up with guns and we tase them and take the access back
>take my new access to mining, takes longer to put my gear on than it takes to get the required materials though the amounts are a little lacking
>run home, print an autocloner, print guns, toys all around
>upgrade everything on the station too I guess
>HoP runs straight past me into my office and starts pilfering my locker
>disabler beam the cunt for the cheek
>throws a fit while I drag him across the station
>cap/warden apparently let him loose
>suddenly he's in my office again hiding in the locker to jump me this time
>dodge that shit
>Warden nearby while I'm threatening to space the HoP for trying to lift my shit
>HoP saxes into maint and we give chase
>pull out my new shiny adv. eguns
>nothing happens
>get hit by a disabler bolt and I'm pretty sure that's it
>dodge back to the office swearing that I forgot the pins
>the pins in a box in my bag
>swear the whole way back to the fight
>warden lost him but they're ok, warden's a good dude and knows what's up at least
>HoP saxed with my armor, what a dick. Oh well, I'll just call the shuttle to end this super long round and use the shuttle call to bait out the HoP
>CE just arrived and instantly recalls the shuttle
>call it again after telling the CE why it was called
>captain recalls the shuttle
>run around doing some errands and scouring maint for the HoP thief
>CMO messages me some encouragement in my quest. Medbay lizard is ok.
>We find somebody in a gas mask playing with the HoP's console. Could have sworn the HoP already gave himself access but I'm not passing up a chance for valids to nab the jerk
>disablers to the face and as soon as cuffs go on the CMO points out that it was the captain hiding his face for some idiotic reason
>take the cuffs off while he screams up and down about "treason" or something.
>Take off back onto my quest.
>Warden messaging me on PDA that the captain has started a manhunt for me and is arming the traitor HoP. As expected, frankly.
>CE jumps me in maint with an egun about this point. Tase and cuff his ass while he screams bloody murder about being kiled.
>Murderers regularly take the time to tell everyone that they've captured somebody and they also take the time to make sure their victim is properly wearing their internals
>Inform him if he doesn't stop calling for a lynch mob on my location I'm going to throw him into space.
>"Oh god help he says he's going to kill me"
>thinking.jpg
>Drag the CE into space (with properly activated internals) and meet up with Wardenbro on the other side of sci maint.
>Explain why the CE is a moron and we both agree that the captain's completely off his rocker.
>manage to call the shuttle and board without incident
>right before the shuttle takes off the Captain dives on board, traitor HoP nowhere to be seen
>captain proceeds to throw soap around the shuttle trying to trip me

Spoiler:

and eats fire from the warden and myself combined
>half the windows on the shuttle explode and I'm shocked on the ground
>its a fuckin griff goast
>cap wasn't shocked and charges me with his sword
>stand up and lase the nerd
>CMO informed me about the time the CE attacked that the HoP was caught and had their race changed. Never quite understood what they meant
>random lizard in medbay clothes starts lasing the Warden
>dunk him too before rushing the Warden to a sleeper on the edge of crit
>Rev is still blasting the shuttle but fucks off when it eats a few las shots
>heal warden and get healed back
>crash into Centcomm to a neutralized captain and a dead traitor HoP

Something really satisfying about playing the good guy turned fugitive and coming out on top in the end. Even got a bit of arr pee around the occasional gun fight.

Not-Dorsidarf · Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:59 pm

Good guy warden right fucking there.
It can be rare to find wardens who are both competent and not lickspittle bootlickers to nutjob captains because it lets them get their kill on.

cedarbridge · Post by **cedarbridge** » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:20 pm #270615

Yeah, the Warden and CMO were both solid. I'd actually thought he was the HoS until I bought a pair of night vision sec huds for the two of us and saw his icon.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:47 pm #270633

cedarbridge wrote:snip

initially I was >warden leaving the brig, but what a fuckin' tale

Always nice when you beat out the shitters tbh

BeeSting12 · Post by **BeeSting12** » Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:54 pm #271160

>HoP, traitor
>don't read objectives
>some guy comes to my office with an oxygen tank
>laser him to death, no suiciding in MY line
>start giving away all access
>HoP announcement: Come to my office for extreme memes!
>by now like ten people have all access so I fuck off to the AI upload
>antimov both AIs
>steal insuls and tools in case one decides to hate me
>buy emag, syndicate bomb, three C4s
>run around emagging every door dragging a syndie bomb
>ditch the bomb at five seconds, BANG, teleporter and courtroom gone
>start systematically emagging every door
>C4 EVA for fun
>get bored and start doing toxins, literally noone has given a shit about my activities the whole time
>start up toxins
>while waiting for plasma to heat up call the shuttle complete with a full confession of my activities
>C4 the consoles
>go back to toxins and complete my bomb
>attach a voice analyzer to it
>wait out shuttle call by taking myself off arrest
>the note says "might have an emag" like nigga ive been emagging everything and i MIGHT have an emag?
>get on the shuttle, wait about a minute and emag
>buckle to bed (Forgot to mention- I bought "Oh, hi Daniel" earlier)
>shuttle launches
>step out of the """""cockpit"""""
>see the HoS coming at me with a stunbaton
>"The memes end here."
>HoS: "FINALLY CAUGHT YOU! YOU HAVE AN EMAG!"
>shuttle explodes
>it wasnt a win but it felt like one

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:04 am #271332

>Delta
>Miner
>Fight off two legion tendrils that spawned too close for comfort.
>Get a ranged holoparasite, suhweet
>Revs are called over the radio, tell cargo officer to order implants
>Science bitches about minerals, successfully shut them up.
>Reports of ops come in radio near cargo, arrivals and escape
>Get upgrades from science and buy a jetpack set for the hardsuit the qm gave me.
> Go into arrivals and tell my holoparasite to scan for syndicats
>It finds a room with emeralds
>Focus on sindicats gosh darn it
>We're doing a round the station when we find the pussy wagon and they keys nearby
>It does recon and finds the shuttle
>Fly close to it to see if any ops are coming back to shoot them
>Leave the z level and coming back moved me into their ship
>OK.webm
>Decide to take the nuke while my Holo plants a beacon to know if they come back
> Find an uplink with 25 TCS in it
>Buy two syndicate bombs and rig them with C4
>Die anyways because my holoparasite flew too close to the turrets and got shot
>Crew major victory

Also my holoparasite wanted me to tell you guys some medic was a slut but I forgot their name

Post by **Armhulen** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:07 am #271334

D&B wrote:>Delta
>Miner
>Fight off two legion tendrils that spawned too close for comfort.
>Get a ranged holoparasite, suhweet
>Revs are called over the radio, tell cargo officer to order implants
>Science bitches about minerals, successfully shut them up.
>Reports of ops come in radio near cargo, arrivals and escape
>Get upgrades from science and buy a jetpack set for the hardsuit the qm gave me.
> Go into arrivals and tell my holoparasite to scan for syndicats
>It finds a room with emeralds
>Focus on sindicats gosh darn it
>We're doing a round the station when we find the pussy wagon and they keys nearby
>It does recon and finds the shuttle
>Fly close to it to see if any ops are coming back to shoot them
>Leave the z level and coming back moved me into their ship
>OK.webm
>Decide to take the nuke while my Holo plants a beacon to know if they come back
> Find an uplink with 25 TCS in it
>Buy two syndicate bombs and rig them with C4
>Die anyways because my holoparasite flew too close to the turrets and got shot
>Crew major victory

Also my holoparasite wanted me to tell you guys some medic was a slut but I forgot their name

I didn't BITCH about mats...

killerx09 · Post by **killerx09** » Wed Mar 22, 2017 9:01 pm #271694

I present to you - a Revolutionary Story - The Geneticist edition.

Spoiler:

Also, we had a Rave party in the Captain's quarters.

MercuryArrow · Thu Mar 23, 2017 3:05 pm

>Start as miner
>YOU ARE THE CHANGELING
> :^)
>befriend other miner, ashwalkers really close to mining already, get his 'help' raiding their base
>kill some lizards
>he's badly wounded
>take him to sleeper, pump him full of heals and morphine
>feels great, until the morphine kicks in and he passes out
>stab stab nom
>now i am stronger changeling with more shit, take tentacle
>begin terrorising the ashwalker tribe
>stand on the edges of their vision, staring
>shriek from the darkness when they can't see me
>steal corpses they left a moment ago when they went the other way, looking for the figure in the shadows
>play dead and let them drag me to their hideout, only to arise, fuck some shit up and retreat once more, waiting for the next brood to be born
>become tribal boogeyman
>finally lead my assault after picking off the ones foolish enough to investigate
>two in the base
>blind sting the first lizard, start spearing his companion and shrieking
>SPEAR-SHANKING SUCCESSFUL
>grab other lizard, struggle with him a bit, but manage to shove him out into the ash storm that's just whipping up
>he has a choice, come in and fight me or stay out there and die a painful death from burning
>stand in doorway, holding a spear in both hands
>stare him down, daring him to come face me
>he paces back and forth a bit, then just falls over
>destroy the nest, PURGE THE LIZARD TRIBE
>DEE-N-EUS VULT

cedarbridge · Post by **cedarbridge** » Thu Mar 23, 2017 3:58 pm #272019

MercuryArrow wrote:snip

I mean, congrats on robusting a bunch of naked dudes with spears as ankillable space monster I guess?

Post by **Armhulen** » Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:40 pm #272050

cedarbridge wrote:
MercuryArrow wrote:snip
I mean, congrats on robusting a bunch of naked dudes with spears as ankillable space monster I guess?

to be fair they all have spears and can permakill the changeling with the tendril

MercuryArrow · Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:46 pm

Armhulen wrote:
cedarbridge wrote:
MercuryArrow wrote:snip
I mean, congrats on robusting a bunch of naked dudes with spears as ankillable space monster I guess?
to be fair they all have spears and can permakill the changeling with the tendril

I actually got dragged right up to the tendril at least once and had to take a while still to revive, the bugs and tendril didn't really do anything. Not sure if good luck or some kind of bug/conflict.

BeeSting12 · Post by **BeeSting12** » Mon Mar 27, 2017 1:13 am #273511

>latejoin
>traitor
>borg comes up asking for a voice module reset
>i say sure and give it to him with the code "Edward Sloan is sexy"
>he buckles me to him and drags me into the upload
>he shouts "EDWARD SLOAN BREAKING INTO THE UPLOAD"
>gulagged for 800 4noraisins
>manage to cuck an officer with prisonerbro
>borg comes back to save me like he promises
>i was standing on the shuttle dock during this
>three people gibbed
>ask to trade TCs for griff goast
>admin gives it to me
>plasma is flooded, so i find a suicide and absorb him
>get light overload
>find lone sec officer in a room full of plasma
>send sparks everywhere
>officer is locked in, watch as he accepts his death
>take his soul too
>go to the brig, where the warden is
>set the warden on fire
>he puts himself out and gets a hardsuit
>he walks out, i set him on fire again
>because of the hardsuit trapping in heat, he dies
>take his soul too
>proceed to fuck with others for the remainder of the round, get three or four kills total this way
>go to shuttle and sit on cockpit, by now I've bought blight and machine overload
>shuttle launches, traitor is in recovery airlock, HoS in the cockpit. (meta shuttle)
>shock the HoS
>traitor kills him
>traitor kills four more
>i absorb all the souls
>revenant greentext

rumblystubble · Mon Mar 27, 2017 1:59 am

I was that traitor and it was pretty awesome. Less awesome was getting cucked out of my greentext by a welderbombed hole in the shuttle. More hilarious maybe, but less awesome.

Plunderphonics · Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:37 pm

I'm never gonna forget the one time me and Percy Oppenheimer dunked an entire gang of atmos assholes who RCD walled half the station off and turned the bar into a freon harvester. That was very fun.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:39 pm #276131

Plunderphonics wrote:I'm never gonna forget the one time me and Percy Oppenheimer dunked an entire gang of atmos assholes who RCD walled half the station off and turned the bar into a freon harvester. That was very fun.

holy shit that was great, damn shame it was when I wasn't an admin yet, I found out they were non-antag and I was livid

I don't often like to kill people but after the events of that round it was incredibly satisfying to empty a shotgun into them

cedarbridge · Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:44 pm

>lowpop rev
>whole station is flashed except for the (obviously) dead CMO, implanted clown, and the blind RD
>clown can't find a safe way to heal the RD's eyes when the whole station is hostile
>they hole up in the execution chamber
>RD contemplates suicide
>Clown raises morale with a plan
>Klara the eternal meme-girl has outed herself as the headrev
>Clown convinces the RD to start talking shit and taunting Klara
>Fight me 1 v 1, don't bring your friends, etc
>Clown has constructed a couple walls and an electric chair at the door to the room
>pda on the floor in place and lights smashed
>Revs gather around and start smashing down the door to get to the RD
>4 revs slip through the door at the foot of the chair including the headrev
>clown springs into action
>zap
>zap
>round end

I almost died myself laughing watching from deadchat.

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:48 pm #276191

that's genius, damn

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:52 pm #276196

That is fucking brilliant

confused rock · Tue Apr 04, 2017 11:17 am

how did they acquire blind

cedarbridge · Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:45 pm

confused rock wrote:how did they acquire blind

I want to say it was a screwdriver, but I can't really remember.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:26 am #277252

>assistant, twenty minutes before work
>discover lone mariachi playing the guitar
>menace him generically
>someone else is being aggressive towards him as well
>they draw a gun while i'm chasing the mariachi
>get shot
>still standing
>decide to flop on the ground and roleplay the gunshot as crippling
>captain runs up
>PAX DOWN
>I REPEAT PAX DOWN
>INJECTING STIM
>politely ask what the stim was
>oh you know
>romerolololol
>oh sheesh
>die
>come back
>find the captain just hanging with the mariachi
>run up, drag the mariachi to the ground, and murder him in maint
>bon nuit runs off with the corpse
>get disabled by the captain because stamina damage is balanced
>stunlocked to death
>captain cuts off my arms
>fuck
>parley with the captain
>just kidding grab and throw him at a glass table somehow, stunning him
>get straightjacketed
>talk some more
>die again
>in the meantime the zombie mariachi has caused an outbreak
>eventually get carted off to medbay for medical research
>discover fascinating things about zombie anatomy
>get my arms reattached
>go to work as shitborg resolutely declares "it shall be spaced" in regards to me shortly before getting duffed in the face

confused rock · Thu Apr 06, 2017 1:49 pm

>gay degenerate snowflake lizard bartender shoots me and another dude for throwing each other in bar
>wait till they leave the bar to do something
>upturn every chair, break drink machine, throw glasses everywhere
>thwy get so triggered that next round they name themself triggers-the-rock

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Apr 06, 2017 4:57 pm #277445

don't you hate on gay degenerate lizards

confused rock · Thu Apr 06, 2017 7:14 pm

its a gay degenerate SNOWFLAKE lizard

Hzb91881 · Post by **Hzb91881** » Sat Apr 08, 2017 5:25 pm #278318

>be xenobiologist
>make light-pink and golden slimes
>spawn some spiders that are able to lay eggs
>miner comes with consciousness transfer potion and asks for spider
>sure you can have it what could POSSIBLY go wrong
>he runs away
>make another one sentient with potion and give him order to not harm humans and to order his offsprings not to do it as well
>so I am clear if they begin to do shit
>they multiply exponentially and do shit
>they kill entire station except roboticist in phazon
>deadsquad gets called, spawn as deadsquad soldier
>genocide HUNDREDS OF FUCKING SPIDERS IS THERE NO END FOR THEM?
>run out of ammo in pulse rifle
>hold out with energy sword as much as I can
>get overwhelmed by spiders and die
Here is the results
https://puu.sh/vdCPJ/ed7efa98c9.png
https://puu.sh/vdCQk/93339c8559.png
https://puu.sh/vdCQM/cdbc8ed3fc.png
https://puu.sh/vdCRd/08c9d485fd.png
https://puu.sh/vdCRu/c0e7690503.png
https://puu.sh/vdCRK/2d54019cec.png
https://puu.sh/vdCS5/0510a305d9.png

ShadowDimentio · Sun Apr 09, 2017 1:53 am

>Be clown
>Slip people all shift
>Having a grand old time
>Slip a chemist at robotics
>Something blows the fuck up
>The chemist was holding a grenade and somehow it went off
>Me, the chemist, and a passerby all die to his hellfire
>Top 10 pranks that went horribly wrong

D&B · Post by **D&B** » Sun Apr 09, 2017 1:48 pm #278707

>Assistant
>Walk towards medbay to see what's up
>Someone turns me into a slime
>Fug
>See lesser ash Drake killing people
>Jump on him
>Mfw 10 ton giant dragon got killed by 15 pound slime

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:26 pm #278750

Funny thing is that slimes get healed by burn damage, so they're pretty good against drakes. The fact that lesser drakes have somewhere around 200 health instead of 2500 helps.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Mon Apr 10, 2017 4:06 am #279055

>trialmin
>time for my first gimmick in three years! hope i don't get deadminned again!
>calzilla's asking for some trash syndicate shop meme
>okay i'll do a gimmick of MY choosing
>i'll make you gun... man...?
>calzilla points out that this is lame
>listening to franz ferdinand
>i'll do a musical reference
>yeah i'll make him a man in black with a superpowered guitar
>and announce it only people who get the reference will be prepared
>do that
>

>calzilla starts lopping off legs (i gave the guitar sharpness) trying to stun people like a faggot
>kills a fucking shitload of people holy shit so many dead people
>while playing sad ditties on his guitar
>picks up a taser
>yell at him to drop it
>fix his guitar
>he goes around trying to kill people again
>deadchat is full of people now, only half of them get the joke
>worried that my gimmick has gone too far
>walks up to a lizard who has no idea what's going on
>"hey wanna hear my songs?"
>"sssssure man"
>"IN HELL"
>lunges at him
>the lizard beats him down with rods
>bleeds to death
>cobby spawns a bed of flowers for him to bleed out in, as a hero
>almost everyone is fucking dead jesus christ
[youtube]uhFF_NhaUIU[/youtube]

I DIDN'T SPELL "TONGUED" RIGHT ARRRRGH

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon Apr 10, 2017 12:38 pm #279145

that reference was pretty fucking blatant how could anyone miss it

I don't listen to cash and even I knew what was going to happen

calzilla1 · Post by **calzilla1** » Mon Apr 10, 2017 6:45 pm #279232

1. I was playing through fire and flames
B. I swear to god people randomly get insane resistances in this game

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Mon Apr 10, 2017 8:52 pm #279255

Hear the trumpets hear the pipers

one hundred million angels singing

MrEousTranger · Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:59 pm

>Assitant
>no antag role FML
>suicide
>roll for Pai memes so hopefully I have something to do
>Cortana
>holy fucking shit made nuke ops pai
>Dream come true :,)
>Given to some nukie
>consistantly refer to my master as "John"
>in syndie base
>carps sentient
>apparently they fed a macro bomb to the fish thus making him into a walking max cap
>holy fuck best idea ever
>John apparently spent all his tc's just for that
>we get left at hq
>the fuck
>wait for "longsword" to return
>get on
>everyone goes out into space
>John floats around with the fish, me safely in pocket
>Remind him to keep his head down theres two of us in here remember?
>move to Ai
>carp smashes doors
>shock turrets with gun thing
>get to ai say goodbye to fish
>Gave the covenant back their bomb
>Max cap
>Ai gone
>fly back to "longsword"
>(almost)everyone comes back
>almost no one knew there was ops
>flood station with the cleansing light of the covena-SYNDICATE
>green text for nukies thus a victory for me
>nothing of the station remains
>just dust and echos

Qbopper · Post by **Qbopper** » Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:16 pm #279277

MrEousTranger wrote:>Assitant
>no antag role FML
>suicide

please stop

cedarbridge · Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:18 pm

Qbopper wrote:
MrEousTranger wrote:>Assitant
>no antag role FML
>suicide
please stop

MrEousTranger · Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:19 pm

Qbopper wrote:
MrEousTranger wrote:>Assitant
>no antag role FML
>suicide
please stop

I only said that for memes I just lost out on all my choices
Det, warden, hos etc.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Mon Apr 10, 2017 11:20 pm #279293

>fails to get validhunting gear in life
>tries to get it in death

ChaserGrey · Post by **ChaserGrey** » Wed Apr 12, 2017 5:18 pm #279879

Probably not overwhelming awesome by global standards, but first greentext woo!

>Chief Medical Officer
>Also traitor
>Assigned to assassinate one of my own geneticists and GTFO undetected.
>Detonatix cartridge, blow up his PDA.
>[Medical] Shit! "Oh hey, what happened man?"
>Lost his arm. Oh hey, let me help you with that...
>Drag him off to a sleeper, shoot him up with morphine, drag him off to a maint locker.
>Shoot him up with enough toxins to kill an elephant
>Nobody asks me the rest of the round where he went.
>Be a model CMO for the rest of the round and get out in an escape pod

Admittedly, being a Head and being asked to kill one of your own underlings is about as easy as it gets.

XDTM · Post by **XDTM** » Wed Apr 12, 2017 6:11 pm #279900

Sometimes you get stuff like the CE being told to steal his own boots and escape alive

Alipheese · Post by **Alipheese** » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:02 pm #279935

nice little meme TC trade that went off well.
>be virologist (duh)
>you are a potator
>ask for tc trade for something
>nope.jpg
>think for awhile while making the SMMP virus
>how about a slipocyplse that spawns 20 carps
>seen it before and it was fun
>it's okayed
>takes abit for the admin to get it setup, deliveried to my lab
>finish up the virus and give to heads and sec
>hear of traitors fucking about
>go to escape as shuttles called to get there in 10
>go spacewalk to ai sat as i think they're lonely
>find a dead atmosman in space and drag his body around
>in retrospect i have no clue why i was dragging a corpse around with me for 10 minutes
>see a person in a red hardsuit
>theyre trying to break into the ai sat and failing miserably
>they are spooked at my presence
>try to talk and then realize apparently cant talk in space
>hes acting abit hostile
>whats the best action?
>throw the corpse at him repeatedly
>get him down to 1/4 health
>we sax around the outside of maint/engineering on delta south side
>we jump from the station into open space and he throws an item
>fucker do you think this is a game?
>it is because i have a bag of 20 bottles to throw
>playfully follow him around and just disarm him abit
>he takes my corpse i had
>lose him and eventually make a spear from debris in space
>find him in the maint rage cage
>he asks to hold up for a second
>we talk it out
>hes a confirmed tator
>eventually i drop the intent to corpsemurder him
>give him the SMMP virus and my spear
>i like you kid
>dont go on the shuttle
>we both exit as shuttles almost there
>get on the shuttle and wait for it to leave
>about 30 seconds from launch
>bunch of people in comfy chairs around a few tables talking about the plush carp
>i tell them to wait
>i tell them we will all become carps
>i tell them it says it loves us all
>did i mention i had a payload of 20 carps
>and i was set to carp faction too?
>shuttle launches
>i start priming all my carp spawners
>shuttle filled with 20 carp going out and murdering people
>lings, tators, normies alike being slaughtered
>get the moonlight greatsword from someone
>proceed with my carps to murder everyone on shuttle
>i ended up cucking EVERY single tator and ling besides one tator who had suicide objective
>i greentexted
>people enjoyed the SMMP
>twas a good round

ShadowDimentio · Wed Apr 12, 2017 10:51 pm

>Be mime
>Do my thing and mime about
>HoS aggros on me like a dick
>Brigs me for an exorbitant time
>Cap releases me like a nice guy
>Tell the HoS he's made a powerful enemy
>He has his goons on me the second I leave the brig
>Welp
>Smash the brig windows as justice
>Get caught by the detective and thrown in a single perma cell
>Cap comes to visit, hears my story and offers to release me into witness protection
>Disguises a monkeyman as me and I'm free
>Become janitor, cleaner of worlds
>Except not because the cult have gotten mean and are roaming the halls
>Botany has a ton of robust peels on their counter
>Grab them and steal the CE's magboots
>Shuttle is called
>Kill a culter in robes running around the halls
>Shuttle is recalled
>Rush to go see whodunnit
>See a roboticist running out of the bridge, through the HoP's doors
>Concluding he has all access and is likely a culter, I slip and beat him to death
>Loot him and find the captain's stuff
>Aw hell, poor guy
>Naked guy runs in the room
>OH SHIT IT'S THE CAPTAIN WADDUP
>He explains he got dunked but was autocloned
>Give him back his stuff and team up shortly
>Lose him after we call the shuttle again
>Raid the armory and the RD's hardsuit rush to the shuttle
>See a wraith running with a corpse
>It's the captain again
>You poor motherfucker
>Leave him-- there's not enough time to revive or loot him
>Get on the shuttle
>Hide in the EVA area nobody ever checks and arrive at HQ safely
>The captain was PKP

My DUDE

Wed Apr 12, 2017 11:01 pm

ShadowDimentio wrote:>The captain was PKP

My DUDE

i got autocloned again after the shuttle left and killed 2 more cultists and 2 constructs before the shuttle docked and ended the round alive
all in all it was a big success

Dr_bee · Post by **Dr_bee** » Thu Apr 13, 2017 9:33 am #280219

Alipheese wrote:nice little meme TC trade that went off well.
>be virologist (duh)
*snip*
>bunch of people in comfy chairs around a few tables talking about the plush carp
>i tell them to wait
>i tell them we will all become carps
>i tell them it says it loves us all
>did i mention i had a payload of 20 carps
>and i was set to carp faction too?
>shuttle launches
>i start priming all my carp spawners
>shuttle filled with 20 carp going out and murdering people
>lings, tators, normies alike being slaughtered
>get the moonlight greatsword from someone
>proceed with my carps to murder everyone on shuttle
>i ended up cucking EVERY single tator and ling besides one tator who had suicide objective
>i greentexted
>people enjoyed the SMMP
>twas a good round

I was the drone that made the comfy chairs, that was a 10/10 carp shuttle bomb, if only shuttle bombs were as fun.

Thu Apr 13, 2017 8:22 pm

>clock cult round
>the two clock cultists die like 5 minutes in
>extended for like an hour
>station finishes station goal (DNA machine), has like 40 mechs, genetics powers, etc etc etc
>time for action
>seek out nuke disk and see captain has abandoned it in their office
>create a meager distraction that the crew should have no trouble handling
>this is in the form of ash walker tendrils and some eggs spawning on the station
>while crew is fighting this, turn one of them into a traitor with 40 TCs with the only goal of securing the nuke disk
>create gangs, then shortly after a cult
>finally, a bit longer later, create an ops team
>from here, the following happens:
>ash walkers are eliminated. in the chaos, janitor stealthily acquires nuke disk.
>gang starts to bubble up, along with the cult, though the cult is at a slower rate.
>as anticipated, one of the two team antags (gang/cult) recruits the traitor janitor: in this case, it was the larger gang
>the larger gang plants a dominator and quickly wipes out the smaller gang
>the nuke ops arrive, rushed by the delta from the dominator
>nuke ops are lead to the gang because of the janitor with the disk
>fight between nuke ops and gang ensues in which nuke ops come out victorious
>during this, the cult scrambles to get together, and after several minutes of cat herding summon narsie
>the ops scramble to react to this by quickly arming the nuke
>all the finales are going off at once
>station asplodes and nuke ops bail

fuckin nuts round. never say im bad at pushing buttons. so much tasty climactic conflict all at once, totally worth the hour and a half of buildup. i wish i recorded it.

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Apr 14, 2017 1:24 am #280423

A not so clean getaway

On one such special occasion, a long time ago, I got to roll as a thieving, no-good, scum-sucking traitor.
I don't recall what the objectives were, only that I disregarded them entirely in favour of shenanigans.
Buying a surplus crate, I hit a pretty good jackpot. Emag, hardsuit, military belt, e-sword, and a few other choice goodies including an Agent ID. I figure that since I had the belt and ID, I could make a pretty convincing nuke op hoax if I acted fast enough. Step one: raid armoury. In full nuke op regalia I head to space and slap my one brick of C4 on the armoury back wall. By some unfortunate chance the Warden was tidying the armoury and was there to fend me off.
No matter, the call goes out and the crew begin preparing for a full on raid. Wonderful! And I'm sure the other Syndies are taking advantage of the chaos and free access. I grab a single gun but don't stick around to maintain the ruse. Next step, sabotage gravity. Sweeping around the top of the station, I spook some wrestlers in the fitness room bashing on the windows with my sword and carry on to engineering. Emagging all the way to the gravity generator I start the shut down sequence when bad luck strikes again. The engi-officer accompanied by the detective were on patrol/a date in engineering for some reason and I get into a shootout with the pair. Landing a few hits on the officer, I force them back long enough to slip into the now quickly venting maintenance. The detective gets bold and gives chase, firing his cowboy gun. I dodge a couple but the tight space means that I eventually succumb to the stamina damage. The suit itself protecting me from the majority of the damage. The detective gets out his wooden baton and tries to keep me down while his friend fumbles with the cuffs. Space wind proves my saviour and I slide away long enough to get back on my feet. I disarm the detective and we both lose the baton to the vacuum. Quick drawing my e-sword I slash a few times and force them both off while the lack of air threatened to suffocate them. Limping, but thrilled at the fight, I slip away back into space. I find another entry point and stash my disguise, seeking medical attention for my injuries. Before completely reintegrating with the crew I make use of some stolen access to erase the security records. No reason having my fingerprints all over engineering. Satisfied my trail was covered I go back to work while the crew still is on the hunt for flukies. Some time later, the detective arrives at my department with a (different) security officer in tow.

"G'evenin' officers. What can I do f--glghlf!!" Soon as the door opened I was stunned and arrested. I start loudly shouting for what I had done. The detective gives a little laugh and says "We know it was you."
"Know that it was me what? I've been working here forever."
"You tried to sabotage engineering."
"Bullshit."
The detective takes a moment to savour this.
"Y'know. It's curious. All your security records have gone missing, along with everyone else's."
I stand my ground, he's got nothing on me, I'm sure.
"No security records at all... now your medical records however..."
Shit.
"Those matched up nicely with some interesting blood stains we found in engineering."
I flashback on the bullets the detective landed on me. The blood splatters.
I can FEEL the detective's smugness.
"Doesn't really line up with your alibi of working here."
He throws the tape recorder at me feet.
The sonnuva bitch actually recorded the conversation and caught me in a lie.
At this point, I'm too impressed to even be mad and admit defeat.
The traitor has failed.but he had a ton of fun

MrEousTranger · Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:05 am

MimicFaux wrote:*snip

Did you admit to the detective that you did it and compliment him on what a good job he did before you accept your fate and die knowing that you were bested by someone truly better than you?

MimicFaux · Post by **MimicFaux** » Fri Apr 14, 2017 11:19 am #280560

Sort of! I commended him on actually detecting and being a damn fine gumshoe. He was happy for the hunt and the shootout. Made a point of keeping me away from validhunters and I spun a BS tale of why I was working for the Syndies. Rode in the escape shuttle brig. 10/10 would redtext again, because fuck no-slip, DE-sword traitors.

cedarbridge · Fri Apr 14, 2017 10:23 pm

>latejoin chemist because >>>>zero chemists
>run over to the shed and get to work
>in the middle of my fridge stocking a botanist shows up demanding memefuel
>"get me a beaker, you can't have ours, we'd never see it again"
>proceeds to whine to the CMO
>CMO tells her to fuck off too
>pushes her way into chem anyway, somehow
>dunk them and throw them out
>comes back later with chem access
>"The CMO told you to fuck off."
>throw them back out again
>finally get to go back to work
>wall leading to the main hall opens up and the clown shoves in
>throw that shit out too
>fix the wall
>CMO and I are essentially just holding down the fort against a tide of retards trying to invade chem for some reason
>load up the fridge finally, CMO's checklist he left is finally done too
>Engie leaves an order for a cleaner grenade which I fucked up and that gets done
>virus hits so I start turning out a stack of sugarpills
>massive rads and burns from whatever the hell was going on outside
>MDs actually communicating and using the med channel
>MDs actually using the chem fridge I stocked and now have to restock to keep up
>Shuttle docks and instantly there's a huge explosion
>jump on the shuttle anyway because big damn hero time
>could only fit two bottles of meds in my bag so hope its enough to keep somebody alive
>80% of the shuttle is gone
>strap in and start slapping patches on everything around to keep the surviving crew as spaceworthy as modern chemistry will allow
>last patch is gone 20 seconds before final docking
>land and managed to keep myself and 3 others alive on the shoestrings of a shuttle

Medical never stops being fun.

Spoiler: