Stories of rage, tears and regret

[cedarbridge]

Bottom post of the previous page:

FYI you can cremate Grace.

Cremate, disposals grinder, explosives I believe works too.

[confused rock]

This is legitimately in my opinion the least retarded "rock gets mad at snowflake degenerate lizards" story
>be cool cat andrew mitchinator on box
>sittin in arrivals playin isaac
>die
>hear reports of a clown called lizard clown being a s h i t t e r and they also know sleeping carp
>do I have to do everything myself
>make ied spear
>time to go
>smells is an officer and tries to tase me
>oh fuck off
>throw the ied spear in their general direction
>they fuck off
>in tool storage making a spear to cut off my arm, better dead than smells arresting me and stripping me naked in interrogation while they are also naked
>they charge in again
>oh fuck OFF
>dropping the glass shard to make a getaway but they accidentally slip on the glass shard because they are a digitigrade
>laughing my ass off as I tase them again and run into maint
>try to cut off my arm again
>for some stupid reason I hit literally everywhere EXCEPT the arm and die
>meanwhile, an engineer lizard is walking through maint
>they are refurbishing it with lights
>they see my corpse
>they pull it into a corner and leave it there?
>still playing isaac
>no fucking keys for the item room
>smells finds my body
>sends detective
>detective can't identify except that its an engineer because they have gloves
>they assume its a cultist for some reason? its a traitor round.
>in cloning
>lizard(see a trend here) geneticist tries to speedclone me
>also, they stashed my body in morgue so I don't get my stuff
>pop out with no eyes or tongue
>put in a cryo that is set to manual
>I have no tongue and I must insult this lizard
>end up in maint because rads
>slap them a few times but they ignore it
>make myself a blindfold outta cloth from biogen and wander back over to medbay
>rd telebatons and cable cuffs smells
>try to feel my way around but I am blindfolded
>the flash of regular vision shows them dragging them into the center hallway
>spidey senses tingling
>feel my way around and ensure their most likely path has no open doors, find my way into tool storage
>they run off as I hear batonning
>circle around again
>they are in tool storage again
>rd is so close behind they can baton smells down as I rescue them
>slip on water
>janitor does not assist in any manner (they weren't a lizard though I gotta admit)
>not much happens
>feeling pretty good about myself having almost saved an asshole without even having eyes
>cmo is braindead, throw them at their office door, find that smells is in robotics
>wander in
>I feel that THE EVIL LIZARD SLEEPING CARP DEGENERATE CLOWN is next to me and is BRIGHT BLUE AND DIGITIGRADE!!
>punch the shit outta them
>smells shoots me in the face and disposals me
>this is what i get for trying to save you
>later
>feelin pretty shitty, come to the hop asking for an id and ask him to admiral it why not
>hop can't understand the word admiral, its missing the D
>smells starts throwing a baton at me
>catch on the third throw
>I literally can't see them and I am kicking their ass
>do not kill them though
>end up slapping the fuck outta them in a chokehold
>asshole with gaga gar glasses frees them
>fucking steal their glasses and throw them at them
>smells has another baton
>same strat
>smells is all like "harder daddy"
>after they get free again they commit suicide
>I realise the whole thing was an elaborate suicide/banbait attempt, but why?
>hop, impressed by my performance, is trying to understand what I am saying
>with the cap's help they finally figure it out
>they are unsure if they should make me an admiral when a fake admiral from centcomm is saying nukies are coming in 20 minutes I dunno maybe becausethe clown was the last traitor and nobody was killing him
>have my smells baton and my blindfold and nothing else
>realise the grille above the communications console is merely a grille
>break it with a glass shard
>make an announcement calling everyone fat and saying I am the real admiral
>ops come in
>I fucking kick one's ass while BLIND using nothing but a baton WHILE ON FIRE
>barely survive thanks to a medic who saw my performance
>lizard clown makes an announcement "you guys didn't like my performance so I gave the ops the disk HONK"
>WOWEEEEEEEE WHO WOULDVE THOUGHT
>ai is asking why nobody killed them
>without even an id for maint access, manage to find a crowbar and get to an empty arrivals pod.
>round ends with me escaping the blast
>jarek was the clown traitor
>smells was one of the ops
>realise the lizard metagang was in control all along and the suicide of smells was because they knew they could become an op and jarek would pass the disk
>I have been played

honestly lads this is lizards in action matey I just I just can't handle this I tried so hard man.

[calzilla1]

Oh hey, I was the RD and yeah, if I wasnt called away I would have been banned for genociding ALL THE LIGGERS

[confused rock]

Smells and jarek should be banned themselves I may have been blind and I may have had no tongue but I HAVE A VOICE
#idonthatelizardsihatelizardplayers

[InsaneHyena]

If lizards are not bad, then why do they attract the worst players? Checkmate.

[DemonFiren]

Self-fulfilling prophecy.
By assuming lizard players are bad the good ones are driven away.
Source: this is why I don't play much anymore, and I very clearly am one of the best.

[Digdugxx]

So as non-antag you produce an explosive lance and try to kill me with it when i try to stop you
Makes me think you're a traitor from the start so don't act so hard done by.
Also don't know what you're on about with me calling you cult or me putting you in disposals, don't remember doing that

[calzilla1]

Thanks for shooting me with a shotgun and letting ligger clown strio me. I bet you would have let him beat me to death if another ligger didnt come to save me, you are the epitomy of shit-curity

[Digdugxx]

It's all blurry memories but i definitely recall you trying to kidnap me... I shot you once with [non-lethals] because you were beating the clown to death. The clown hadn't committed a single crime that i was told about so i wasn't going to valid hunt them like you lot would. I don't cry on the forums about extremely petty things and you shouldn't either, c'mon guys.

[calzilla1]

It's all blurry memories but i definitely recall you trying to kidnap me... I shot you once with [non-lethals] because you were beating the clown to death. The clown hadn't committed a single crime that i was told about so i wasn't going to valid hunt them like you lot would. I don't cry on the forums about extremely petty things and you shouldn't either, c'mon guys.

Yeah, theft, tresspassing, assault are defenantly not crimes! Also, I had no beef with you until you started assisting the clown and shooting me with a shotgun!

[confused rock]

Clown literally had fucking carp im sorry my mistake it was the clown that put me in disposals, also the clown that gave you the nuke disk and is your only friend
Really makes u think

[MimicFaux]

Running RnD on metastation. Self professed traitor knocks on the counter window. Says he's giving up his life of crime and is donating his equipment for the benefit of Nanotrasen.
Proceeds to dump a surplus crate's contents into my arms.
Christmas comes early.
Finish breaking everything down. Science basically maxed.
>Main menu
>Sync databa--
Giant EMP blast from chemistry across the hall shatters the console.
Hadrian Melik is putting the stechkin in his mouth, it looks like he's trying to commit suicide!

[AnonymousNow]

~

Does that actually wipe the console? The cloning console, for example, retains information when its screen is broken.

[XDTM]

It does if the screen breaks and you don't sync. Always sync your research, especially if it's the kind you can't get back.

[MimicFaux]

That's what made it so rage inducing, I was in the middle of syncing it when it happened. I might have done it in steps but I was paranoid security would come arrest me for/scientist steal from the giant pile of traitor loot I was sitting on.

[PKPenguin321]

a regret story

>I'm a ghost
>see a podman growing a metric shitload of plants
>jump in one of the pod things and spawn as another podman
>go out 1 tile into lavaland
>kudzu fucking everywhere
>why did he plant kudzu
>see that he's also grown lots of combustible lemons
>open the airlocks and start throwing lemons at the kudzu to tear through it and maybe find a way out
>other podman is raging and telling me to stop
>don't listen

Here is the regret part

>airlock closes right as I throw my last lemon
>it detonates instantly
>leg flies off
>fire ignites half the plants in the room
>this includes a fuckton ambrosia deus, healing apples, other stuff I didn't see
>also includes the 10000 other lemons
>the explosion also scattered everything in addition to igniting it
>it turns out that combustible lemons explode when they burn to ashes
>literally hundreds of explosions destroy every plant, half the botany trays, a bunch of the machines
>blows off other podmans arm as well
>kudzu then tears down a wall sucking all the air out of our house
>he's going fucking nuclear saying how he warned me not to do that
>feel fucking terrible (also kind of amused at the massive explosion)

>eventually harvest more bomb lemons and accidentally blow off my other leg fighting kudzu
>with no legs or air my journey has ended

[LifeReign]

As the other podman, kudzu doesn't hurt podmen, unless it explodes due to other explosions in the area... and the apples I was growing had salbumatol in them, which is basically infinite oxygen in chem form. Also, I grew 100 potency 10 production kudzu, which is basically impossible to get rid of.

Still, I made lavaland BEAUTIFUL, and the chain explosions was funny and educational so I don't see the regret here.

[Armhulen]

There was this one late night bagil round I remember where no admins were on and I accidentally re-lit a dying plasma fire as a drone in a locked room with at least three humies. Drones can't even die from the fire, so I just watched their static sprites run around trying to put it out until they died. feels extremely bad man.

[Kel]

>be detective
>immediately find dead officer
>clone him
>find romerol in the cryo tubes
>alert everyone, go to my office
>suit up
>power goes out
>no crowbar
>get saved by a resourceful sec officer
>talk about the coming zombies, monsters, and killer robots that have struck the station as I pass by him
>get shocked by sec front doors
>he shakes me up and opens the door for me
>walk next to borg in shadows
>it was emagged, and the hos blows it right as I pass by
>it explodes and instakills me

man

[Jarek]

>be ling
>My target is Akoro mako, assistant
>Also have to take the ID
>This objective is relatively shit but alright
>Named Mr.Mu
>other ling is also named mr.mu, I find this out later
>Murder chaplain early on cos he saw me succ someone and was about to scream
>Become chaplain
>Go into bridge and get arrested, Escape, but a peacekeeper borg thinks it's security with a flash and flashes me so many times I go blind and arrests me
>It refuses to follow law 2 (I never harmed) and allows me to be smashed over the head with a bottle because "it was an accident."
>Eventually SM sing gets loose and shuttle is called and this borg is STILL arresting me
>Has arrested a lawyer because "law 3" and is also spamming flashes on him
>The borg refuses to leave, I say fuck it and monkey form out of there
>By now the sing has eaten engineering and shit is fucked
>Spot target just as rad storm shows up
>You feel a tiny prick!
>My target is a ling? Fuck.
>Head into maint with my target and two other people, casually asking my target for the DNA over the hive-mind
>E-bowed and e-sworded and gutted
>Fuck, Guess I'll revive and succ
>Rad storm goes away, so does e-bow traitor
>Revive
>Fall into immediate crit
>No amount of regenerating can save me
>I have no heart and slowly die
>I revive three times without being able to do anything
>Manage to be fast enough to monkey form before falling unconcious, my target, who has also been reviving, has not been so lucky and was dragged to medbay and perma-cyro'd
>Perfect, because I need to prevent him from escaping alive but I need his DNA
>I ask him to channel the DNA and I'll fix him up
>The shuttle arrives during this
>He doesnt know how and dies before he manages
>Shit
>Guess I'll absorb
>Absorb is stuck telling me "You are already absorbing" from a suicide earlier
>Fuck me
>Go to pod with target anyway
>Space dust has breached the pod window that I chose
>No time to choose another, about 50 seconds till departure
>Put downtargets ID to strangle target and absorb, assuming that the atmos has already all but left
>It hasnt
>Space wind
>Id casually floats out of the window and into space
>I chase after it, but I'm not fast enough
>Me, the guy and the PDA are drifting a tile apart, and I cant reach his PDA
>Pods leave, the guy revives and dies again, and I drift into space to redtext

[confused rock]

>arrested by sec as rev
>being beaten to death
>guy earlier disablered me
>type up ghost for when I pass out
>a bash hits the head and I coincidentally get derevved
>see myself knocked out with it saying I am in crit
>spam the shit out of enter
>I get healed
>they see I went fucking catatonic like a horrid sport when I thought I was in crit
>I look like a massive fuckwad

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be viroguy
>Make heals virus
>Have nothing to do
>Find skub
>Skub around
>HoP spaces skub as a prank
>YOU'VE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY
>Welderbomb the HoP's office as vengeance
>Thus begins a legendary rivalry
>HoP repeatedly tries to dunk me and fails repeatedly
>First time they chase me with a disabler
>I escape by ducking into the dorms and they lose me
>Have an idea
>Turn it to the animal park setting
>Lure them in there next time they chase me
>They're foiled by their disabler shots getting absorbed by a corgi
>Insulting irony
>Second time they have a shotgun and are chasing me
>Grab a water tank and bait them into shooting it, spray water everywhere, they slip and drop the gun
>Pick it up and unload all the shots
>They're getting mad
>Third time they have their disabler again and are spraying madly down the halls
>Spray the halls with a spray bottle I nabbed off the floor and filled with water
>They slip, yoink their gun
>They're pissed, spray lasers everywhere
>Dodge easily
>Spray more tiles
>Yoink their other gun
>Fourth time they're not getting slipped again and are following with a taser
>Walking slowly towards me down the chapel hall
>Loop around through the chapel and disable them through a window
>Swipe their gun and bounce
>High energy antics
>Recharge my egun for more antics, figuring the HoP was playing along honorably
>Nope, the chappy suddenly attacks of all people
>Go down
>Am dragged to the brig sobbing about dishonor
>Thrown in the gulag
>Another person is there
>They lag, and run into lava
>Try to save them, fail
>Loot them
>They had a welder
>You IDIOT
>Break out in seconds with it
>Retrieving my stuff when shitcurity bursts in and arrests me again
>I SERVED MY NICKEL YOU PIGS
>Get chained to a pipe and literally gassed

Absolutely dishonorabru.

[InsaneHyena]

They had a welder in gulag, how?

[Rustledjimm]

>Be CE
>No other engineers, guess I'll go set up the solars myself
>happily go about setting up solars by space walking around the station
>reach Arrivals area and enter the station quickly and walk into construction area
>Oh look, some sec guard is following me in I wonder wh-
>tased and cuffed without a single word or warning
>welp, think I'ma be raped. Talk over Command comm letting them know what's happening
>officer still hasn't spoken to me as he starts stripping me of all my gear
>now start screaming down comms for someone to come just incase I'ma die
>HoPcurity runs in, disables the officer and zipties him. Decides however he can't be fucked and walks off with both of us just cuffed
>chaplain runs in and I persuade him to uncuff me, sec officer screaming obscenities at me
>He finally admits the only reason he tased and stunned me was to search me because I space walked past the armoury
>Berate him for being shitcurity and he should ask next time, I'd have been happy to comply to a search
>pick up his baton on the floor and stun him telling him not to be so shit
>Captain walks in, disables me to the floor and recuffs me
>Drags me to the bridge and the sec officer follows having been uncuffed
>Cap decides I was the one trying to abduct the security officer not the other way around
>making a long story short he decides to demote me, then changes his mind and just has me killed.

[AnonymousNow]

SRTR is essentially a thread full of lists of people who need headbans, secbans, or just straight-up bans, so it seems.

[confused rock]

In a way I agree stories seem to be just stories of shitcurity

[Not-Dorsidarf]

>arrested by sec as rev
>being beaten to death
>guy earlier disablered me
>type up ghost for when I pass out
>a bash hits the head and I coincidentally get derevved
>see myself knocked out with it saying I am in crit
>spam the shit out of enter
>I get healed
>they see I went fucking catatonic like a horrid sport when I thought I was in crit
>I look like a massive fuckwad

Thats why you type "succumb" you massive twit, because it only kills you if you're actually dying

[DemonFiren]

>arrested by sec as rev
>being beaten to death
>guy earlier disablered me
>type up ghost for when I pass out
>a bash hits the head and I coincidentally get derevved
>see myself knocked out with it saying I am in crit
>spam the shit out of enter
>I get healed
>they see I went fucking catatonic like a horrid sport when I thought I was in crit
>I look like a massive fuckwad

Thats why you type "succumb" you massive twit, because it only kills you if you're actually dying

[XDTM]

or type your most salty message with your last breath with .w

[confused rock]

I know what succumb does but I'm too fucking lazy retard, the situation is so rare that its best to save me a few presses and just ghost and die in one command

[TheColdTurtle]

Whisper niknakflak

[confused rock]

>normal assistant day on sybil
>notice boxstation bridge doors on the left are open
>walk in
>wander into captain's office
>unsuprisingly get batonned and thrown out
>walk back in
>this happens again
>hop wants to beat me
>cap stops him and merely zipties me and drags me out of bridge and removes the cuffs
>he forgot to close the door
>after a while of us passively bumping into each other with no actual fighting he successfully closes the door in frot of me
>check if the door on the left is still open
>it is
>hop is looting the captain's quarters so he can get the cloak or something
>grab his disabler from the recharger and disable him a few times
>put disabler back in
>sit there
>cap comes in
>nobody has cuffs
>hop wants to baton me dead but the cap stops him mid beating
>end up getting batonned into the teleporter room and thrown out through there
>go back in
>this continues
>I am bleeding from the chest thanks to the hop
>detective comes in
>for some reason they have no cuffs
>keep getting thrown out
>hop and det are trying to arrest me now
>assistants are cheering me on
>break loose from their chainstuns and bruise pack myself in medbay and grab a donut for the blood loss as I am at 84% blood
>hop and det continue chainstunning me in the main hall
>hop is also beating me back to low health
>break loose a second but then smells comes in in an engineering hardsuit and kicks me to crit for some reason
>continue in crit
>hop and det bring me to the mass driver
>am loaded in
>start thinking they may have been stopped after I am in the driver for 15 seconds
>chap is there and more but I am still in crit so I cannot tell well
>no wait hop is still spacing me
>land in arrivals
>medic comes in time to defib me
>ghosts support me
>get brought back to medbay but am unconscious from the blood loss
>detective wrestles me away from every doctor including the cmo
>leaves me to suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>no admins on despite there being 45 players
>ahelp anyway
>despite being sent to irc there is no response
gg no re

[oranges]

>play stupid game
>win stupid prize

wtf admins I am being griefed

[TheColdTurtle]

Oranges is right again

[oranges]

it's oranges

[Screemonster]

Is it still oranges even if it's the first word in a sentence?

[oranges]

yes

[Qbopper]

>proclaim that the HoP will, in fact, not stab me
>become stabbed

I mean I think they're being assholes but like, what did you expect

[DemonFiren]

yes

Oranges cannot change the rules of grammar.

[Haevacht]

oranges does what oranges pleases, silly lizard.

[DemonFiren]

yes, except no

[confused rock]

I mean like I got my body hid twice and i didnt even hurt anyone or steal anything I dunno man

[Armhulen]

>not immediately executing anyone in your office who shouldn't be

You got lucky my man

[Reece]

>normal assistant day on sybil
>notice boxstation bridge doors on the left are open
>walk in
>wander into captain's office
>unsuprisingly get batonned and thrown out
>walk back in
>this happens again
>hop wants to beat me
>cap stops him and merely zipties me and drags me out of bridge and removes the cuffs
>he forgot to close the door
>after a while of us passively bumping into each other with no actual fighting he successfully closes the door in frot of me
>check if the door on the left is still open
>it is
>hop is looting the captain's quarters so he can get the cloak or something
>grab his disabler from the recharger and disable him a few times
>put disabler back in
>sit there
>cap comes in
>nobody has cuffs
>hop wants to baton me dead but the cap stops him mid beating
>end up getting batonned into the teleporter room and thrown out through there
>go back in
>this continues
>I am bleeding from the chest thanks to the hop
>detective comes in
>for some reason they have no cuffs
>keep getting thrown out
>hop and det are trying to arrest me now
>assistants are cheering me on
>break loose from their chainstuns and bruise pack myself in medbay and grab a donut for the blood loss as I am at 84% blood
>hop and det continue chainstunning me in the main hall
>hop is also beating me back to low health
>break loose a second but then smells comes in in an engineering hardsuit and kicks me to crit for some reason
>continue in crit
>hop and det bring me to the mass driver
>am loaded in
>start thinking they may have been stopped after I am in the driver for 15 seconds
>chap is there and more but I am still in crit so I cannot tell well
>no wait hop is still spacing me
>land in arrivals
>medic comes in time to defib me
>ghosts support me
>get brought back to medbay but am unconscious from the blood loss
>detective wrestles me away from every doctor including the cmo
>leaves me to suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>no admins on despite there being 45 players
>ahelp anyway
>despite being sent to irc there is no response
gg no re

I'd have murdered you the second time you walked into the bridge.

[Qbopper]

snip

I'd have murdered you the second time you walked into the bridge.

do this next time

[Doctor Pork]

snip

I'd have murdered you the second time you walked into the bridge.

>act a shit
>try to ahelp when you get killed

this is why bran respects was closed.

[PKPenguin321]

>roll ling atmos tech
>spend maybe 20 minutes building a death chamber by making a little inescapable box and draining the atmos
>reroute all of disposals to go into it
>build a chute and throw people into it
>realize that the station was bombed while i was building it and disposals is broken
>see the same people i threw in walking around unharmed
>go back to (a very successful) murderbone
tfw your elaborate traps do not work because meme bombs

[Qbopper]

>roll ling atmos tech
>spend maybe 20 minutes building a death chamber by making a little inescapable box and draining the atmos
>reroute all of disposals to go into it
>build a chute and throw people into it
>realize that the station was bombed while i was building it and disposals is broken
>see the same people i threw in walking around unharmed
>go back to (a very successful) murderbone
tfw your elaborate traps do not work because meme bombs

testmerge bombs don't break disposals when

[ShadowDimentio]

>roll ling atmos tech
>spend maybe 20 minutes building a death chamber by making a little inescapable box and draining the atmos
>reroute all of disposals to go into it
>build a chute and throw people into it
>realize that the station was bombed while i was building it and disposals is broken
>see the same people i threw in walking around unharmed
>go back to (a very successful) murderbone
tfw your elaborate traps do not work because meme bombs

>Have a good plan
>Plan gets fucked
>Just murderbone instead
>Wildly successful

SS13.

[XDTM]

Make murderbone hard

[cedarbridge]

Make murderbone hard

We tried but a lazy fruit won't let us touch the double esword.