> QM
> CULT
> The good cult!
> Fuck off to lavaland, place runes in the dorm rooms and make talismans, gotta convert miners.
> Ask for help over Nar'Sie FM.
> Nobody is answering me. Call them all faggots. Looks like it's a job for LONE WOLF.
> Forgot multitool, gotta get back for it so I can disable telecoms
> Grab it, get back to the shuttle, some late miner is doing the last preparations
> The shuttle docks lavaland, get in the airlock...
> ...AND GET SWEPT OF MY FEET
> Nearly get spaced, but space gods are kind today and I somehow DO NOT end up flying out of the open airlock I'm lying in
> Late miner comes inside and steps over my body
> "FAG, YOU ALMOST SPACED ME"
> "GIT GUD"
> I'll show you "git gud", you fuck.
> Stun him with paper, cuff, strip headset, drag all the way to dorm rooms
> He tries to ensure me he's gonna be way more valuable as a living cultist
> SORRY, NONE OF MY BUDDIES WANT TO HELP ME CONVERT
> Bash his skull in with a tome, sac him, turn him into artificer
> He starts converting floor
> Okay, there's no way this could go wr...
>
WILD CLOWN APPEARS, attracted by cult floor noises
> He runs, I run after him, but artificer casts magic missile
> My stun feels like it lasts forever. As artie screams "GET TO ME", I get up and run...
> ...and get hit by magic missile AGAIN
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> Meanwhile, clown managed to scream "CULT" over all fucking radio channels and AI is bolting all the doors
> Fuck you, AI, I have a secret weapon - teleportation talisman!
> ...nobody placed any teleport runes
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> Beg ANYONE to place a rune, after what feels like eternity they do it.
> We place "summon cultist" rune and summon our artificer too
> There's some strange bug involving light, so I have to navigate maints in total darkness
> Suddenly meet Smells just outside maints
> STUNSTUNSTUN
> Drag him to the freezer room, place teleport rune, ask anybody to help me convert
> Nobody answers
> Oh right, I can get to THEM instead
> Teleport Smells
> Somehow end up teleporting myself instead, even though I clearly wasn't standing on the rune
> Get back and do it properly
> Find another cultist, together we will convert Smells just fine
> Just kidding, we bumped into each other on wrong intents, and he escaped my grasp
> Five minutes of yakety sax in extremely enclosed space follow
> We have a few witnesses and even a call on the radio, but nobody helps Smells because... Uh... Well, Smells.
> Eventually catch and convert him after he experiences a round of temporarily insanity and allows himself to be pushed against a wall
> Meanwhile, other culties apparently caught our sac target
> Holy shit.
> Teleport to them, help them sac.
> Alright, nothing can possibly go wrong now. I instruct Smells and another random faggot to stand on the manifest runes that I've placed, so we'll have ghosts that will fill in our thin numbers and help us summon
> I also place barrier runes near walls and airlocks, so nobody will get inside
> My plan is fucking perfect
> NARNAR, HERE I COME
> Place the rune
> Imagine sec trying to get inside our autism fort without the chaplain
> Laugh
> Wait, what are those noises
> Is it...
> Is it...
> WILD DUKE HAYA APPEARS, AND HE'S A HULK
> He and one thousand other fucking hulks are breaking through walls!
> Not to worry, though, Smells already summoned ghosts, my artificer and juggernaut are here, and we have enough cultists to stand on the rune that is already ready and place-
> WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING, YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS
> JUST STAND STILL AND WE WIN
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> Not to worry, though, because despite large number of cultists fucking off from the rune, we have JUST enough ghosts to summon Narnar anyway.
> WHY ISN'T DOCTOR STANDING ON THE RUNE
> IS THIS JUGGERNAUT FUCKING AFK
> WE JUST NEED THOSE TWO TO MOVE ONE FUCKING TILE EACH
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> An engineer from space breaks a window, Smells is moved away by space wind from the manifest rune and our ghosts die
> I get killed by hulk TK, because of course hulks have TK too.
> Smells manages to escape somehow, probably due to teleport talisman
> He places another Narnar rune in SMES room
> He walled off with metal walls.
> Not even reinforced ones.
> No barrier runes were used
> FOOL, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING
> Duke Haya appears, effortlessly breaks through walls and kills Smells
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> My heart jumps!
> I'm being resurrected!
> I'm in crit and placed into sleeper!
> Through manifest hijinks, I will PROBABLY be able to summon Narnar!
> Just kidding, hulk sees a guy healing me, kills him, then me.
> Cult once again defeated by it's worst enemy, 3x3 rune, the final boss of conversion rounds