Dark Souls 3 - Fanfiction Edition

DrPillzRedux · Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:33 am

DS3 is out for consoles now and people are loving it. Almost everything I've heard so far is that it's the real sequel to DS1. The environment, the direct story ties to 1, the music, and the gameplay take more cues from 1 than 2. The final boss itself is apparently very satisfying and a good fit for the end of the series, even if its concept is very fan fiction-ish. I think it'll be interesting to see what the DLC does.

The final boss theme speaks for itself (spoilered for your safety).

Spoiler:

Incomptinence · Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:14 am

Gonna wait for PC version.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Fri Mar 25, 2016 3:51 pm #164405

Yeah, waiting for the real version on the 11th because I don't have a pissfour or xbone

Lumbermancer · Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:39 pm

You can buy me the PC version for my birthday. It's 15th of April. Be there or be square.

Super Aggro Crag · Fri Mar 25, 2016 11:15 pm

i liked dark souls 2

DrPillzRedux · Sat Mar 26, 2016 8:21 am

There's literally an item description for something in 3 that basically says people who liked 2 liked to eat shit.

RIP crag.

Incomptinence · Sat Mar 26, 2016 10:49 am

Well I figured out how to get this PS4 controller working wireless with DS2 on my computer now I am somewhat ready I guess.

You would not believe the price of blue tooth dongles in Australia holy shit we invented that technology why.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 11:40 am #164589

DrPillzRedux wrote:There's literally an item description for something in 3 that basically says people who liked 2 liked to eat shit.

RIP crag.

Source?

I don't dooks, but this sounds hilarious.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:14 pm #164612

I said I wasn't going to get hyped for this game after Dark Souls 2

Then people said Miyazaki was back
Then I saw some of the covenant stuff (DAT MOUND YO)
Then I saw some more shit

Then I preordered it with season pass because I'm a fuckboi

Super Aggro Crag · Sat Mar 26, 2016 9:28 pm

DrPillzRedux wrote:There's literally an item description for something in 3 that basically says people who liked 2 liked to eat shit.

RIP crag.

real fucking edgy miyazaki at least dark souls 2 didn't wholesale lift characters and memes from dark souls ones.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 2:54 am #164726

Fucking consolefags getting it before PC master race

Fucking youtubers flooding my sub box with videos I can't watch without spoiling it for myself

FUCK

DrPillzRedux · Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:37 am

DemonFiren wrote:I don't dooks, but this sounds hilarious.

Dried fecal waste material, moist on the inside.

Throw at enemy to inflict toxin build-up, but also ups your own toxicity.

Though the stench makes it difficult to carry on one's person, inflicting toxins on an enemy yields high damage over time. Perhaps some Undead have fond memories of waste. Or, perhaps not.

http://darksouls3.wiki.fextralife.com/Dung+Pie

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:40 am #164755

I only played Dark Souls 1. What's the exact reference for that?

DrPillzRedux · Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:51 am

Zilenan91 wrote:I only played Dark Souls 1. What's the exact reference for that?

2 is considered bad by a lot of vocal people. Miyazaki doesn't like 2.

Zilenan91 · Post by **Zilenan91** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:52 am #164759

Well yeah but how does that connect to Undead liking shit

DrPillzRedux · Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:56 am

Zilenan91 wrote:Well yeah but how does that connect to Undead liking shit

Perhaps some players have fond memories of shit (DS2). Or, perhaps not (a lot of people).

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:36 pm #164775

I mean that could just as easily be a reference to the fact that dung pies have been in previous games. It makes me think of arcing dung pies to hit the Capra Demon before it makes me think of Dark Souls 2.

Super Aggro Crag · Sun Mar 27, 2016 1:51 pm

pillz you're a fucking idiot and you're grasping at straws harder than vaati vidya.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 4:03 pm #164797

I'd sooner eat a full stack of dung pies than play ds2 ever again though

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 4:53 pm #164804

>shitflingers flinging shit over shit that you fling

DrPillzRedux · Sun Mar 27, 2016 4:57 pm

Super Aggro Crag wrote:pillz you're a fucking idiot and you're grasping at straws harder than vaati vidya.

meet me on dark souls fuccboi and you will be drinking through a straw

Super Aggro Crag · Sun Mar 27, 2016 5:08 pm

DrPillzRedux wrote:
Super Aggro Crag wrote:pillz you're a fucking idiot and you're grasping at straws harder than vaati vidya.
meet me on dark souls fuccboi and you will be drinking through a straw

yeah i'll be using it to suck up your salty fucking bitch tears when your bent over on the ground begging for release and praying your sphincter doesn't completely tear you subhuman

Zellion · Post by **Zellion** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 5:21 pm #164808

I liked dark souls 2, but after playing 3 theres no way I can go back, the controls are too tight and smooth

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 5:24 pm #164810

Super Aggro Crag wrote:
DrPillzRedux wrote:
Super Aggro Crag wrote:pillz you're a fucking idiot and you're grasping at straws harder than vaati vidya.
meet me on dark souls fuccboi and you will be drinking through a straw
yeah i'll be using it to suck up your salty fucking bitch tears when your bent over on the ground begging for release and praying your sphincter doesn't completely tear you subhuman

ThanatosRa · Post by **ThanatosRa** » Sun Mar 27, 2016 10:57 pm #164864

Settle down, children.

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:14 pm #165103

Yeah that would not hold up in any sort of essay pillz, sorry buddy, you're pulling at straws.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:45 pm #167942

28 hours left until PC release.

Some important new gameplay mechanics you might want to know about in terms of co-op/invasion:

Spoiler:

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:52 pm #167944

uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhh

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 6:07 pm #167947

At least now ganking requires something resembling skill. And max-upgraded armor, I suppose.

Note to self: Prioritize upgrading armor.

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 6:22 pm #167953

Really seems like we've gotten the worst of both worlds here when it comes to that mechanic.

I guess it's okay...? You wont be able to just bring ringers into your world to beat bosses, you should have a slight advantage over anyone who invades you, and invading up to people is going to make you the underdog?

That all sounds good on paper, at least.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 6:23 pm #167954

Is the new grief meta dropping +15 swords in front of noobs and tricking them in to picking it up?

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 6:25 pm #167955

Wyzack wrote:Is the new grief meta dropping +15 swords in front of noobs and tricking them in to picking it up?

EDIT: You would have to be host and summon a bunch of people for co-op, and then drop them upgraded weapons to RUIN THEIR LIVES

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 6:27 pm #167957

Wyzack wrote:Is the new grief meta dropping +15 swords in front of noobs and tricking them in to picking it up?

You don't see any dropped weapon that has a higher bonus than the best weapon you have creates yourself.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Sun Apr 10, 2016 9:32 pm #167983

Preload started

Ho boy

I went the whole time without a spoiler more serious than knowing a few of the weapons that came back

Fucking staggered releases are cancer

Incomptinence · Sun Apr 10, 2016 9:58 pm

It has a leeway of 2 levels either way but that mechanic sounds stupid. Not even an inventory check to see if the weapon isn't in storage or chucked? Fucking dumb, hate this poisoned chalice bullshit.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Mon Apr 11, 2016 6:59 pm #168152

THREE HOURS LADS

GET HAIPED

Who wants to play Dark Swoles? It's like Dark Souls, but you do 10 push-ups every time you die

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:19 pm

Drynwyn wrote:
Who wants to play Dark Swoles? It's like Dark Souls, but you do 10 push-ups every time you die

Shit son that sounds amazing, I'm going to try that.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Mon Apr 11, 2016 8:00 pm #168158

I'll probably do something like that

I'll change out push ups for pushing my desk a little closer to it's breaking point for deaths caused by faggot ass invaders, though

Incomptinence · Mon Apr 11, 2016 9:31 pm

Prolly better to do squats after that spawned enemies hunting you down at the lantern bullshit from the chalice dungeons. Imma onta you from.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:57 am #168195

Looks absolutely stunning

5 deaths so far, most of which were from the first boss that isn't ludlex

OH and one from an invader
Had to take a five minute break because my knuckle caught the edge of the desk and split it open

Man_Shroom · Post by **Man_Shroom** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 12:59 am #168196

there's like 5+ pirating threads on /v/ RIGHT NOW AT 8:57 PM MICHIGAN USA APRIL 11 TWO THOUSAND SIXTEEN

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:11 am

Just hit 30 push ups, woooo! Probably shouldn't have picked deprived, heh.

TheWiznard · Post by **TheWiznard** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:50 am #168236

something like this but for DS3

Spoiler:

Incomptinence · Tue Apr 12, 2016 8:04 am

Well turns out going thief and pumping the stupid luck skill doesn't actually make anything good drop or enough firebombs drop so just gonna restart as knight instead of bleeding everything one love tap at a time.

Edit: Well that's much much better.

Takeguru · Post by **Takeguru** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 3:15 pm #168274

I went with Herald

Mainly because I like two handing spears in Souls games

Timbrewolf · Post by **Timbrewolf** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 3:55 pm #168279

Pyromancer in the Mound Makers.

I've made like 20 something vertebrae already.

This covenant is fucking hilarious. I was streaming, some hours of which are on my youtube if you want to see. Will definitely stream more Mound-fuckery again soon. Need to pass out.

Mound Fucker code of conduct

Spoiler:

I had one CLUSTERFUCK TASTE THE RAINBOW invasion earlier as a Mound-Maker. We had the host, his phantom, a sunbro phantom, then I showed up, then two Dark Wraiths invaded, then a Sentinel showed up. It was FUCKING AWESOME.

EndgamerAzari · Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:02 pm

So far I'm having fun--by which I mean I keep getting killed by my own incompetence and can't progress, but that's what I was expecting. It's good to be back.

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 4:51 pm #168288

An0n3 wrote: a) Blue Sentinels. These fuckers will always come after you, despite the fact that you were probably just bro'ing around with the host a minute ago. They always seem to come after me. Maybe they get a unique reward? I know we do! Kill a Blue Sentinel and you get a unique forked tongue item.

They don't get a unique reward, but they get jack shit if the host makes it all the way to the boss fog gate without the invading mad spirit dying- and the rewards for a blue sent summon aren't nearly as good as for a successful boss-kill as a white phantom. So blue sents are strongly incentivized to attack mound-fuckers.

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON · Tue Apr 12, 2016 5:22 pm

I CAN'T FEEL MY BODY!!! HELP!

Drynwyn · Post by **Drynwyn** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:47 pm #168327

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON wrote:I CAN'T FEEL MY BODY!!! HELP!

git gud and die less nerd