/tg/Station 13

tibs

Joey picks his nose idly while looking the closest guard straight in the eye.

"I'm hungry."

Joey suddenly starts clapping obnoxiously. He flies into a snort-filled laughter.

(Ready)

Joey looks toward the Leopards and begins foaming at the mouth. "Leopard style."

((8+3=11)

"EUUUARRRGGHHHH"

Joey looks confused as Bizarre continues to speak with the bird, but he looks to the bird and his mouth begins to water. He rushes toward the bird with unprecedented speed and attempts to snatch it into his hands.

((19+5=24))

"50 strong...do you mean his men, or his leopards?"

Joey begins cleaning up the mess he made, putting the remaining rations and his scattered cooking supplies into his bag and taking a bow before the villagers.

((Ready))

Joey stops for a moment as the already hardly palatable hardtack in his mouth turns foul, but he quickly swallows what he was chewing on. Tears stroll down his face as he forces another piece of it into his mouth. Even a creature such as Joey has his limits however, and the ashen food doesn't stay ...

"Okay then, watch this." Joey takes his backpack and dumps roughly a quarter of it onto the ground - you see cooking utensils such as pots and pans scatter everywhere along with what must be five days worth of five days worth of the rations that Joey has been systematically eliminating during the ...

Joey nonchalantly plops his fat ass down next to a couple of villagers. He seems even more relaxed among the peasantry than he is usually.

"I can eat 15 pounds of meat in 5 minutes."

Joey seems too busy picking his nose to pay attention to this, though you noticed him eat yet another day's rations on the way here.

Joey starts licking his lips and quickly devours two days rations in anticipation.

Joey keeps up with the bear's movements and raises his arms to the air to deliver two more swift blows while babbling madly and slobbering all over himself in anticipation for some actual food.
((12+5=17, 9+5=14, damage being 3+3=6 for the first strike, 2+3=5 for the second strike))

Joey surges forward with unprecedented speed for his size and flails his stubby arms wildly at the polar bear while gibbering.

(Two fist attacks, 16, 11, first attack hits for 7)

((19+3=22)

((15))

Joey has already devoured three days rations in the time it took to leave the outpost. He's been listening intently to Karag during the trip, but he diverts his attention to the shrieking above. He starts licking his lips.

((Want me to roll perception too?))

((Joey is ready to literally roll)

Joey slowly gets up from the wreck of what used to be a fine stool and lets out a loud belch while patting his stomach. "I definitely need some more food before we go, never know what could happen out there."

((Buying 10 more days of rations for a total of 20, costing 5 gold))

Joey sits looking into the distance, as if he's not even paying attention to what the others are saying, before suddenly bursting out "I've never ate Leopard-style before! I'm in." You can hear the stool he's sitting on getting closer to the breaking point.

A morbidly obese tanned-skinned man walks into the room and stumbles toward one of the stools that are closest to the host. You hear the stool struggling to support his immense weight as he seemingly has no regard for it and falls into its comfort. His arms are disproportionately small and stubby ...

Rogue Trader probably

Yo, I'm mulling around the idea of running a D&D campaign on the forums, anyone interested? And if so, which sounds better? A Romance of the Three Kingdoms meets Jade Empire-type thing set in Not-Asia or a Northlanders sorta deal set in a snowy harsh country that hasn't quite yet grasped the ...

Steve Mic - Mic is not a last name.
Mistah Nailbrane is not a real name.
Airica and Zen are not real names, Hiro Protagonist is not a real name, Tigtone is not a real name

You singled out me, Large Puff, as the only offender. Why is this?

Byond account and character name : Table Turning, Large Puff, changed to Terry Bulname (My complaint)
Admin : Saegrimr
Time incident occured : 2 AM EDT
Detailed summary :
Tablet: -- Administrator private message --
Admin PM from-Saegrimr: I'm gonna have to ask you pick something resembling an ...